A Complete Body of Divinity, Sermons · 177 (Question 64 cont.)
SERMON CLXXVII.
II. THERE is an Henour which Children do one to their Parents, which God re… of them, and the bonds of Nature do ob… them to pay. And the ſame reaſons that p…e and confirm the Superiority of Parents, …ly ratify the Duty of Subjection lying up… Children, and that becauſe the Reaſon of the Dukes is founded in the Relation, and therefore they … adapted to it. Now the Duties of Ho… the from Children to their Parents, will one under Two general Heads, viz.
1. A due …ection to their Authority.
2. Affording … needful Succour in their Neceſſity. And to on of theſe are all the particular Duties to be aſwed.
[1.] A due Subjection to their Authority. That … have an Authority over their Children, … …ſerved in the former, and if theſe are not …y Subjection thereto, that would be in vain and ſtruſtrated. Now the general and compre…ſive Duty here is, that they yield Obedience … their Lawful Commands. And here it may be enquired,
Q. HOW far Children are bound to Obey the C…unds of their Parents?
AND this nextly concerns Active Obedience, by performing of the things ſo Commanded …. As to that which is Paſſive, it will be …ken of afterwards. Here then we may take …s;e Aſſertions;
1. THAT the Authority of Parents over their Children is Limited. It is ſo by the Command of God, who hath not left them a boundleſs Au…ity; but hath told them how they ſhall, and … they ſhall not exerciſe th…ir power over them, Eph. 6.4. And ye Fathers, proroke not your Children to wrath: but bring them up in …tion of the Lord. Yea, they themſelves are accountable to the Civil Powers for their inju…ing their Children; and in ſome caſes to repair to them, for Juſtice againſt Rebellious and Contumacious Children, as God appointed in Iſrael: and every well ordered Government allows unto Children a relief againſt the Unreaſonable Treatments of Unnatural Parents.
2. THAT God hath a Supream Power over both Parents and Children. They are equally under His Government, & obliged to Obey His Commands; He having and uſing Authority to preſcribe Duties, and give Laws to them. Though the reaſon of the Authority of Parents, and Subjection of Children, is laid in the Relation itſelf, yet God himſelf is the Law-giver unto both; and He alone is the abſolute Sovereign over the whole Creation. Tho' Parents have a Command over their Children, yet God Commands them b…th, and one as well as the other, is to ſeek the Law at His Mouth.
3. THAT bence Children are bound equally with their Parents to Obey God, and muſt be called to an Account before Him for it. They labour of a miſtake, who think that God hath ſo ſubjected Children to their Parents, that they are not to enquire further into their Duty, than the Pleaſure of their Parents; and that if theſe lay any ſinful Commands on their Children, they are without further enquiry to perform them; and that not They, but only their Parents are accountable to God for it; as if theſe and not the other, were guilty of ſin. For tho' Men in Authority, are partakers in other Mens ſins, by Commanding them to do that which God hath forbidden; yet they bring guilt upon themſelves by compliance with ſuch Commands: for every perſon is firſtly ſubject to the Law of God, and by vertue of that Law is ſubject to his Superiours, and muſt be called to give an Account of all his Actions to God, Rom. 14.12. And if they be not careful to Obey God, they will never Obey their Parents from a right Principle. Hence that, Eph. 6.1. Children, obey your Parents in the Lord: for this is right. The meaning whereof is not only becauſe God hath Commanded, but alſo it ſets bounds to the Obedience, and hence that in, Col. 3.20. Children, obey your Parents in all things: for this is well pleaſing unto the Lord. Is thus to be limitted, viz. All things which God requires.
CHILDREN therefore, as they grow capable, ought to know what is their Duty in all things. There are other Commands beſides the Fifth, and they are given Univerſally, and all Men are bound by them, without any reſpect to the Ordere that God hath placed Men in. Thou ſhall not, &c. is an Injunction upon every Individual perſon. And altho' Children in their Inſant, and Ignorant Age, depend much upon their Parents Inſtruction to teach them what is Duty, and what is Sin; and it will be an horrible Crime in Parents, that neglect ſo to Inſtruct t…em: yet every Child hath in him a Natural Comſcience, and beſides the common Principles which are engraven on it, there are advantages of acquainting themſelves with the Will of God, and it is their Duty to inform themſelves by them; and it is his Commendation, 2 Tim 3.15 And that form a …'d thou …aſt known the holy Scriptures. Children have Souls to ſave or loſe as well as Par…nts, and theref…re ſhould acquaint themſelves with the way of Salvation, how elſe ſhould they live and pleaſe God.
5. THIS rightly informed Conference, is to govern their O…edience to their Parents Commards. For Man is a Cauſe by Counſel, and the Word of God is the Rule to direct his Counſel in all that he doth, and he may not lawfully do any thing that is contrary to it, ſo far as he is, or may be informed by it. And tho' Children ought to learn of their Parents, yet when they have learned, th…y ought to practice accordingly, elſe in Obeying their Parents, they diſobey God: and from theſe Premiſes, we may gather theſe few Conclutions,
1. IF Parents Command their Children that which is c…ntrary to the Divine Precept, they are …ound with Modesty to r…fuſe Obedience. I ſay with Modeſty, for tho' they may not dare to do the thing; yet they ought to carry themſelves as Children, who bear an high reſpect to their Parents, and make it appear, that it is not from a contempt of them, but from an awe of God, that they with-hold their Active Obedience: However, that is a plea to be made againſt all the unlawful Commands of any Super…our in the World, in whatſoever he is placed. Act. 5.29. We ought to obey God rather than man. And doubtleſs, where God's and Men's Commands do interfere, God muſt be obeyned. For no Authority upon Earth can po…bly make void any one of God's Commands, for He is the One Law-giver.
2. THET ought …o Obey them in all that is Juſt and Good. When their Commands are according to the Word of God, they ought to believe, that now God Commands them by their Parents, and therefore they ought not to do it as of conſtraint, but with a willing Mind, and with all Alarity. For no Obedience but what is voluntary, is acceptable to God Hence that Commendation, Phil. 2.22. As a Sen with the Father, …e hath ſerved with me in the Goſpel. For Children to do what they are bidden is better than to refuſe; but to do it with reluctancy, and tokens of diſpleaſure, and murmuring is unworthy of the Relation. Children ſhould ſtudy thus to pleaſe them, and take the greateſt content, when they find their Obedience to give content to their Parents. Nor ought they to be diſpleaſed, becauſe their Luſts are croſſed, and finful Courſes checked by ſuch Commands; but on the other hand to Thank God for ſuch Parents, as carefully uſe their Authority, to keep them from the path of the deſtroyer.
3. IN things that are not in themſelves Sins, n…r in their Circumſtances, they ought to Obey without diſputing, ſo long as they are under their Parents Care & Charge. Doubtleſs when they come to be for themſelve, they have a liberty to uſe their own Prudence in ordering their Affairs, tho' with a due deference to the Advice of their Parents; but as long as under their Wing, their lawful Commands are to be complied withal. As to their Duty in thi… indifferent, I d…bate not, till Men are agre… what theſe things are: But if by them is in…tended ſuch things as are in themſelves n… ther Sins not Duſtes, but may be either one … other, according to Circumſtances; doub…eſs Parents Commands will make them a D…ty in Children, who are not at their own diſp…; unleſs if be evident that in the Circumſtan…, God would be diſ…onour…d and diſobey…. And tho' it may be lawful for Children who have diſoretior, …umbly and ſubmitſ vely … plead with their Parents about the inconvenience apparent in the thing, yet withal to …e…ily a readineſs to acknowledge Parental …thority, if they perſiſt in their pleaſure: And doubtleſs this is comprehended in the … things directed in, Col. 3.20.
4. WHEN they are Marrited, tho' they o… a reverence to their Parents, yet they are … at their own diſpoſe. They now ſet up … themſelves, and make a diſtinct Family, whereof they have the charge upon them; and … not under ſuch Servitude as before: Nevertheleſs there are things in which they ought … teſtify a due regard to their Parents, and that not only in reſpect of the ſol…mn Inſtructions given them to fear God, but in other things if greater liberty. It is therefore a commendation that God gives the Re…hites, That they Obey…d their Father in a matter which otherwiſe had not obliged them, Jer. 35.35, 16.
5. IN the diſcharge of Publick Trust they … bound t… the Late. Children are ſometime called to Civil or Eccleſiaſtical Offices, during their Parents Lives; and though this doth not diſcharge them from a Reverential reſpect to them, (on which account Sol…mon is commended for this to his Mother, 1 Kings 2.19. And if they are capable of giving them light … their Duty, it is very proper for them to conſult with them, and take their advice, ſo f…t as is for their help,) yet they are not to o…y them in any thing, which is contrary to the Rule of their adminiſtration, not to avoid the doing of that which is right, for fear of diſpleaſing them. It is therefore charged on … …azia…, as his Sin, 2 Ch…on. 22.3. His … was his Counſ…our to do wickedly.
BUT we may proceed to the more particular Duties incumbent on Children, du…ing their Minority, to teſtify their Subjection to their Parents in; and theſe are more eſpecially,
(1.) AN endeavour to get and keep a deep impreſſion upon their hearts, of the Juſt & Right Authority of their Parents over them. All Obedience to God muſt proceed from a right Principle; now the Principle of this Obedience, is becauſe they are their Parents: And this is… ſ…v…y them againſt whatſoever Corruption in them might improve to weaken their Obedience to them. The word, Thy Father, and thy Mother, muſt carry weight in it, to over ballance other things: Nor ſhould any thing that cannot remove this Relation ſubvert their Obedience. Tho' they are poor in the World, and cannot do ſo much for them as others can for theirs, tho' they are of mean Port in the World, and are poſlibly deſpiſed by their Neighbours among whom they live: tho' they are …ſe, and do not carry it ſo obliging to their Children as becomes the love of ſuch a Relation: …ay, tho' they are wicked & fear not God, but had in their lives; when it ſhould humble …, yet they are to remember, that God hath …o them their Parents, and given them Authority over them. And this Relation is o… …, and the Obligation as forcible, on ſuch … Parents are the Pooreſt and moſt Igno… if they were the greateſt Princes on Earth.
(2) FROM this Principle they muſt carefully empty with ſuch things as theſe: viz.
1. THEY muſt hearken to their Counſels which …. True, if they adviſe them to do a … thing, they are to avoid it, as before; … if they tell them their Duty, and call upon them to attend it, or warn them againſt any thing that is evil, and charge them to abſtain … it, not only are they to comply with it, …ſe it is in itſelf juſt and right; but the Au… which it comes withal, ought to bear up… them, and have a deep impreſſion on their …. There is therefore Emphaſis in that, Prov. 4.1. Hear, ye Children, the Instruction of …er. And 31.1. The prophecy that his Mother … him. To remember, this I had from my … and Mother, who loved me, and ſought … good, and ſhall I not be careful to obey it? So …, Prov. 4.3, 4.
2. TO receive their Rebukes with great Sub…. Children are too apt to forget themſelves, and do things that are worthy of a re…. And Parents, who love their Souls, cannot but chide them for it, tell them of their fault, … them how they have Sinned againſt God, … their own Souls, grieved them, and accor…ly to diſcover their juſt diſpleaſure at them: Now it is the Duty of ſuch to bear them Pati…ly, and not reply upon them; tho' if inno…, they may meekly plead it, and Parents …ght to hearken to them, for they ought to do … their very Slaves. Joh 21.13, 14. Yea they …ld take reproofs kindly, and take warning by them, and be more heedful, to themſelves for the time forward, not to diſpleaſe or grieve them; nay to be Thankful to God for the faith…neſs of their Parents.
3. TO receive their Corrections, with an Obe…tial Prome and Carriage. Children are not to think that their Parents hate them, becauſe they Correct them for their faults, but aſcribe it to their tender love to, and care for them, and to prevent a greater evil from befalling them: …nd the Parents ought ſo prudently to manage … to leave ſufficient Conviction of this love, in the manner of it; yet Children ought not to … againſt their Parents in it, tho' they may think themſelves innocent, or that they uſe over ſevere diſcipline to them, but to uſe Obedience to them in the thing, tho' they uſe great Arbi…ineſs in it. Hence that, Heb. 9.12. We have … Fathers of our fleſh, who corrected us after their own pleaſure, and we gave them reverence.
4. THEY ſhould ſtudy to pleaſe, and fear to offend them. That there is a Fear included in this Honour, is evident by, Lev. 10.3. Ye ſhall fear every man his Mother and his Father. And without this reverential fear, it is not poſſible that Children ſhould diſcharge the Duties they owe to their Parents; there is therefore an high reſpect they muſt entertain for them; and accordingly account it their intereſt to give them content, as far as may be, and no ſmall infelicity to have them diſpleaſed at them at all, much more by their ſinful provocation, or doing any thing which they know will be grievous to them: So that tho' they think ſuch a thing lawful in itſelf, yet if it will provoke them, they are to deny their own deſires in it, when they are under no Obligation of Duty to do it. And if they know that they have grieved them at any time, they ſhould ſeek all lawful courſes, to obtain their reconciliation.
5. THEY ought to depend on them to be directed in their Employment of their Time, and Manner of O…upying themſelves in it. Children are not to come and go, and do as they pleaſe, but to take their direction from their Parents about it; and therefore they are to do nothing of Weight, but by their advice and direction; and accordingly to ask it of them, and be always ready to give them a true Account of what they have done; and if they have a deſire to any lawful liberty or diverſion, to ask their leave, and reſtrain themſelves to their Approbation, and not exceed the limits which they ſet them. Chriſt himſelf paid ſuch ſubjection to his Parents, tho' one of them was but ſuppoſed to be ſo, Luk. 2.51.
6. THEY ought to be content with the Supports, which their Parents are capable of Allowing them. They muſt adore the Governing Providence of God, and be ſatisfyed to Live accordingly: And tho' they cannot do for them as others who abound more, yet, to accept thankfully of their love and kindneſs in that little which they do cheerfully allow them out of what they have: yea, to think their Parents better know what is convenient for them, than they themſelves do.
7. THEY ought to hide their Parents Infirmities, and not to deſpiſe them, on account thereof, or reproach them for them. And that whether Natural Infirmities, or Sinful, or thoſe that grow upon them by the decays that accompany Old Age; and all theſe are included in that, Prov. 23.22. Hearken unto thy Father that begat thee, and deſpiſe not thy Mother when ſhe is old.
8. THEY ought to take their Advice and Conſens, in changing their Condition by Marrioge. I need ſay no more in this matter, than, if Parents have an Authoritative influence into this Affair, which was formerly proved, then Children muſt needs owe their Obedience in it. We have therefore that put as one brand upon Eſau, to augment his ill Character, Gen 26.34, 35. He took to wife Judith the Daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Baſhemath the Daughter of Elon the Hittite: Which were to grief of mind unto Iſace and to Rebekah.
[2.] THE other thing in which Children are to Homer their Parents, is, by A…ſording them needful …ars in their Neceſſary. It is here ſappoſed that Parents may in Providence be reduced to ſuch Neceſſity; and it is very frequently ſo, eſpecially with ſuch … Live to Old Age, and paſt their Labour. And here theſe things are obſervable,
1. CHILDREN ought to get their …earts …ly poſſ…ſſed, with the great Obligations they are under to …i…ir Parents. And here, beſides that they were the Inſtruments of their Being, which is a Natural tie; all the care, pains, patience, labour and expence laid out upon them, ought to be thought of by them; and leave Conviction on them, that they can …eres ſufficiently compenſate it to them, not do any thing too much to teſtify their gratitude to them. And very often, there is this particularly to conſider, viz. That Parents have been Neceſſitated to Labour hard, and lay our their Earnings for the Support & Education of their Children, till they were capable of doing Service for their own Support. Now this leaves matter of Conviction on Children, that it is a due debt which they owe to them to retaliate when they are become helpleſs to themſelves. And hence,
2. IN General, it is the Duty of Children, to take care of their Parents, to their Ability, that they be not a Publick Charge. And it is a diſhonour that they do to them, if, when they are able to do it for them, they turn them over to the Alms of the People: And this is manifeſtly intended in 1 Tim. 5.3, 4. Honour widows that are …idows indeed. But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn …eſt to ſhe… piety at home, and to requite their Parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. v. 16. If any manor woman that …lieveth, have widows, let them believe them, and let not the Church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed. And he mentions the Church, becauſe in Times of Perſecution, Chriſtians were often Out-lawed; whereas the ſupport of the Indigent & Impotent, belongs not properly & ordinarily, to the Eccleſiaſtical, but Civil Conſtitution: however it tells us, that none is to be reckoned Indigent of common Support, that hath Children or Grand-Children, that are able to relieve him.
3. MORE Particularly there are two things, in which this care is to be everted by them, 1. DURING their Abode with them, in a cheerful laying out their labour & endeavour, that their Lives may be comfortable. Children that have been the Charge of their Parents, to bring them up to be capable of doing ſomething, ſhould not preſently, in hope of doing better for themſelves, deſert their helpleſs Parents, as thinking it now time to look to themſelves, and let them ſhift as they can: they ought not to now to leave them ſo long as they ſtand in need of them, till ſuch time as they are called by God's Providence to ſet up Families of their own; but think their labour & earnings well laid out, if their Parents Lives may be made any way comfortable by it; and more Credibly than if it were expended for the adorning of their own Bodies with Super…u…ies. 2. WHEN they are gave Atrial, and … Fami…ies by themſel…, they are ſtill as … care of them, according to their Abi…i…ies … are not to throw of the care of them, … pretence of a Charge of their own. It is … that every Man's own buſineſs is to ſte… welfare of his own Family, but ſtill, it … great Obligation, not to forſake their Ag… Poor Parents; and therefore according … Portion of the World, which God … to make them ſharers of it; yea, to de…y … ſelves and theirs of many convem…, … than their own Parents ſhould ſuffer-ſ… … Eminent is the E…ple of Joſeph, in pro… honourably for his good and … Fathe… … time of great ſtraits; and no leſs co… that of R…, in l…b…ring to Support … ther-in-law, who was paſt her labour, and … Poverty. And the Providence of … very fren…tly in this World req…ed … der care of ſuch Children, to obſervation, … peculiarly in this tenderne… to be …hew… i… … time of Sickneſs, by s…ing that they … ther for d…e tendance, or any other … their Condition cells for; and re…ly be… with their Infirmiti…, and ſt…dio…ly av… any thing, which may any way grieve them, … alſo to take care for their decent Burial, … ding to their Condition and Ability. Th… the Principal …, to which Children… … are referred.
USE. AND let Children be …ereby … r…ſhed of their Duty, and adviſed to be … in the practice of it, and humbled … Conviction of their many ſhort comings … Remember, this is the way to pleaſe God, … 3.20. And what greater & more fore… … g…men… can be uſed with ſuch as do … that it is our happineſs to pleaſe God? … the other hand, the neglect of paying them … Honour, and …ing contempt upon them, … by Diſobedience, or by Neglecting of them, … highly diſpleaſe God, and provoke His holy … ger, to pour out ſignal Effects of his wroth … them. Hence that, Prov. 30.17. The …yt … mocketh as his Father, and deſp…ſeth to … his Moth… the ravens of the …lley ſhall pick … out, and the young raglet ſhall … it. … member, you that are Children, either are, … may be Parents; and God is wont very … to te…tify his Acceptance or diſtike of our Carriage to our Parents, by an Anſwerable C… of our Children to us, which will afford O… on of Comfort or Sorrow to us afterwards.
[JUNE, 29. 1703.]