A Christian Family Built by God, Section 11
SECT. 11.
NOw ſecondly, of the upper building, which ſtands perfectly,
1. In wife, and husband.
2. In parents and children.
3. In maſters and ſervants.
Begin where God begins, ſtill with inferiours. Amor deſcendit, officium aſcendit.Love deſcends, but dutie aſcends. The firſt pair of beams in an houſe builded by God are wife and husband, who bear up this frame. The wife muſt ſubmit to her husband as unto the Eph. 5. 22, 24.Lord; yea, as the Church is ſubject to Chriſt. The woman (ſaith Paul) is bound to the law Rom. 7. 2of her husband; yea, this is comely; it is the beſt faſhion that ever they wore. Therefore Col. 3. 18. 1 Tim. 2. 12.(ſaith God) I permit not a woman to uſurp authoritie. Object. Whatſoever thou permitteſt will ſome women ſay, I will do it. Sol. Nay, ſaith God, Thy deſire ſhall be ſubiect to thy husband, and he ſhall rule over thee.Gen. 3. 16.
Queſt. Will any good woman ask me, What it is to ſubmit, that ſhe may conſcionably do it?
Anſw. It is to put her ſelf willingly under the government of her husband. Queſt. Will ſhe further ask me how ſhe muſt ſubmit? Anſw. Surely, not by way of bondage, but free ſervice for her ſelf; becauſe ſhe and her husband do make but one. Queſt. Will ſhe further ask wherein ſhe muſt ſubmit? Anſw. Paul ſaith, In all things, that are lawfull, and honeſt.Eph. 5. 22.
In general, ſhe muſt ſubmit to her husbands honour. Sarah honoured her husband, and called him Lord. The good wife calls her huſband 1 Pet. 3. 6. Hoſ. 2. Prov. 7. 19.Iſhi, my man; but the harlot ſaith plain Iſh, the man is gone abroad; this is a clear ſign that ſhe honours him not.
In particular, ſhe muſt ſubmit three wayes. By an inward act of the mind, acknowledging Eph. 5. ult.his headſhip, and taking direction from him, if he be wiſe, and for him, if he be a fool. By an inward act of the will conforming to his good manners and affections. By theſe outward acts of dutie which depend upon theſe thus;
1. They muſt anſwer their husbands wills. Their queſtions muſt not be, Whoſe will ſhall be done: for God ſaith, Thy deſires ſhal Gen. 3.be ſubject.
Object. But what if the wils of their husbands be wicked.
Sol. Then whether it be better to obey God or him judge you. But in all domeſticall affairs, as the Moon doth vail at the preſence of the Sun, ſo muſt the wife at the preſence of her husband.
2. They muſt anſwer their husbands wiſedoms 2 Kings 4. 22. Gen. 16. 6.as the Shunamite, and Sarah who took directions from their husbands.
Object. But ſhall not the wife imploy her knowledge and diſcretion for the good of the Family.
Sol. Yes, yet with ſubmiſſion to him as head. As when two ſtrings are ſtroke upon a Lute, the ſound is attributed to the lowdeſt: ſo muſt the wife take and uſe direction to the honour of her husband.
Object. But you will ſay, ſome wives are wiſer then their husbands.
Sol. In truth ſo moſt of them are unhappie to think, and ſometimes it is true; yet the beſt part of their wiſdome is imployed in uſing it for their Husbands honour, and not her own alone, to diſgrace her huſband.
Object. No? did not Abigail call her husband fool? and why may not others alſo?1 Sam. 25. 25.
Sol. It was well known he was a fool; for from thence he had his name Nabal. She reveals no ſecret, but ſpeaks of that which was in every bodies mouth. Beſides, it was not to his face to ſtir up ſtrife; nor behind his back to diſgrace him, but it was to ſave his life. As Chirurgions to ſave the body will cut off a limb, ſo ſhe was willing to blur his well known name to ſave his life.
3. They muſt anſwer their husbands natural diſpoſitions which are without ſinne. So Rebeckah provided ſavoury meat forher Gen.old husband, ſuch as he loved: as a looking glaſs ſhe ſhewed the countenance of her husbands nature as it was.
4. They muſt anſwer their husbands ſpiritual endowments, by kindling, not cooling graces which are given for the family. Therefore ſhe muſt read and pray with him, and for him, and hear his advices, and be a better comfort then Jobs wife was to him in miſerie.
I remember a ſad ſtorie upon mine own Note.knowledge An honeſt Chriſtian man had a wife, worldly, and diſtruſtfull; and he being much in good exerciſes, morning and evening in his Family, ſhe would diſturb him, and go about ratling her keyes, or making ſome other noiſe to hinder him, pretending that his time ſpent that way might be imployed in getting money for his Family.
This woman was given over by God to the Devils temptations ſo far, that ſhe thruſt a knife into the pit of her ſtomach and killed her ſelf; yet before ſhe died, ſhe confeſſed thus much to me, and craved Gods pardon as well as ſhe could. Oh had it not been better that ſhe and her husband had walked hand in hand to heaven with her due ſubmiſſion?
Queſt. If now, Fourthly, the good wife will ask me why ſhe muſt ſubmit?
Anſw. Surely the reaſons are invincible, The order of Creation requires it: Adam was firſt created, next Evah for him: ſo the wife is for 1 Cor. 11. 8 1 Tim. 2. 14.the husband, as her head. The order of tranſgreſſion requires it. The woman was firſt in the tranſgreſſion. She was firſt in evil, laſt in good; therefore ſhe muſt ſubmit.
The union betwixt man and wife requires it. Eph. 5.The husband is the head of the wife, for direction, protection, and influence. The woman gives not the name to the husband, but Eſ. 4. 1. Gen. 2.the husband to the wife; and to impoſe a name is a ſign of Soveraigntie.
So Evah was called Iſha, of Iſh: and Solomons wife was called the Shulamite, and the Quando ego ero Ca…us, tu cris Caia.Roman ſaid to his wife, when I ſhall be Caius, Thou ſhalt be my Caia.
Therefore let all good wives learn this comely leſſon to ſubmit. There are foure enemies in ſome womens breaſts unto this. Want of wit, to know their place; Want of love, becauſe they married not in the Lord; Pride, in aſpiring to maſterſhip; and love of the vanities of this world, againſt the minds of their husbands. But pray for maſtery over theſe, and ſubmit.
Be warie of offending your Husbands; Doe as their hearts may reſt in you; and carrie Prov. 31.all for the honour, and profit of the Family.
Queſt. But ſaith the good wife, May I not diſpoſe of any of my husbands goods?
Anſw. I reade three caſes in which they may; Where it tends to keep from ſinne, and to preſerve their Husbands life: This was Abigails caſe: Where the Husband is fooliſh, 1 Sam. 25. 18.and ſees not what is good for himſelf and his Family; this alſo was Abigails caſe.
Where the Husband is an enemy to Pietie, and MercieMercy, and will ſuffer nothing to be done, either by way of Honorarie, or reliefe: this was Iohanna the wife of Chuſa's caſe.Luke 8. 3.
Yet muſt it be to honour her Husband, not her ſelf: and ſo frugally, and wiſely, that the Husbands houſe want nothing to further credit or comfort.
Do thus and proſper.