A Christian Family Built by God, Section 12
SECT. 12.
THe husband is next, who muſt honour his 2 Pet. 3. 7.wife as the weaker veſſel. There is a double honour; Of Subiection, ſo the wife muſt honour her husband: Of Love and complacence, ſo the husband muſt honour his wife. This honour ſtands in Love, and in the Velle cuique quod bonum eſt.fruits of it. His love to her muſt be a dear comforting love; not ordinary, which is to will to every one that which is good, but by which they are glued one unto another to do good, and not ill unto one another all the dayes of their lives. The fruits of it are theſe that follow.
1. He muſt account her his yoak-fellow, ſtanding on even ground though drawing on the left ſide.
2. He muſt dwell with her, that he may be Ruth 4. 11. Ruth 3. 1. Prov. 5. 18, 19.a reſt for her, as for his own Vine, that ſhe may proſper.
3. He muſt dwell cheerfully with her, as Iſaac with his beloved Rebeckah.
4. He muſt direct her, and be the guide of her youth, both in civil things, as Abraham Prov. 2. 17. Gen. 20. 16.directed Sarah when he entertained his ſtrangers; and in ſpirituals, as when the Shunamites husband directed her.
5. He muſt protect her and be the covering of her eyes, and ſpread the skirt of his garment over her; that is, provide for her, and protect Ruth 3. 9. 1 Sam. 30. 5, 6.her, as David did his wife, when ſhe was taken by the Amalekites.
6. He muſt provide neceſſaries for her according to, but not above, his means, as God ſaith, Thou ſhalt not diminiſh her food, rayment, Exod. 21. 10, 11.and the recompence of her virginitie.
7. He muſt bear with her infirmities: not ſinnefull, theſe muſt be cured by inſtruction, reproof, prayer,; but paſsionall, as grief, fear, diſtruſt; and Penal, as Jacob did bear with Leahs blear eyes, and Rachels barrenneſs, and Elkanah, who would not love Hannah the worſ for a fault ſhe could not help.
8. He muſt ſuffer himſelf in ſome things to be adviſed by her. This will comfort them Gen. 21. 12 1 Sam. 1. 23againſt thoſe things they ſuffer in their husbands love. This will encourage them to undergo joynt care in the Family.
9. He muſt not be bitter unto her; Queſt. wherein Col. 3. 19.doth that ſtand?
Anſw. Not in croſſing her in worldly, wicked, and want on things; nor in a juſt reproving her folly, but it ſtands in Affections, words, and deeds. In affections, when trifles draw the heart from love to ſowre hatred. In words, when their tender natures are unjuſtly wounded by them. In deeds, when the wife is uſed like a drudge more like, then like a wife; as when ſhe is deprived of houſhold government, when ſhe is wilfully ſhortned in neceſſaries; and when ſhe is ill rewarded with blowes. Chriſt is an abſolute Lord, Prov. 31. 27as well as an husband, and ſo may correct his Spouſe; but we are onelyonly husbands, and may not do that which can never be done without ſin.
Now the reaſons why husbands muſt honour their wives are theſe: Becauſe they are the weaker veſſels. Weakeſt members are moſt ſpared; and brittle veſſels are moſt tenderly uſed. It is true, they are veſſels, therefore they are for uſe: they are helps to pietie, helps to ſocietie, helps to houſe-government, and helps to propagation; yet are they weaker veſſels, therefore to be honoured, as being for the Cloſet, not for the Kitching.
Beſides they are heirs together with their Gal. 2.husbands of the Grace of life. This is the dignitie of that ſexe, that neither male nor female are lookt upon by a different eye in God, but all are one in Chriſt. Yea, would ye not have prayers interrupted? then thus honour your wives ſaith Peter. Yea, they are 1 Pet. 3.the gifts of God for all comfort; and ſuch gifts are prized.
What therefore remains, but that huſbands honour their wives. If an husband ſay, my wife is full of weakneſs, therefore honour her as the weaker; a Venice glaſs with good uſage laſteth long.
If he ſay, ſhe hath bad qualities; love not them, yet honour her, not becauſe ſhe deſerves, but becauſe God commands.