Of Domestical Duties, Treatise 3 · Section 44 – Section 46
§. 44. Of a wiues willingneſſe to *Treat. 4. §. 18.dwell where her husband will.
To make this part of a wiues obedience ſomewhat more cleare, I will exemplifie it by two or three particular inſtances, recorded and approued in Gods word.
The firſt is, that a wife ought to be willing to dwell where her husband will hauehave her dwell.
The wiues of Abraham, Iſaak, and Iaakob, herein manifeſted their wiue-like obedience: though their husbands brought them from their owne countrey, and from their fathers houſe, yet they refuſed not to goe with them, but dwelt in a ſtrange countrey, and that in tents.
Note in particular what Iaakobs wiues ſay to their husband in this caſe, Is there any portion or inheritance for vsus in our fathers Gen. 31. 14.houſe? implying thereby, that ſeeing it was their husbands pleaſure to be gone, they would not any longer tarry in their fathers houſe, to looke for any more portion or inheritance there.
Theſe examples doe further ſhew that if an husband hauehave iuſt occaſion to remoue from one country to another, and in thoſe countries from place to place, his wife ought to yeeld to goe with him, if he require it at her hands. Note what the Apoſtle ſaith, hauehave we not power to lead about a wife? That interrogation 1 Cor. 9. 5.implieth a ſtrong aſſeueration. The husband then hauing power to lead about a wife from place to place, ſhe ought to ſubmit her ſelfe to that power. This clauſe (as well as other Apoſtles, and as the brethren of the Lord and Cephas) ſheweth, that this was not only a power which might be vſed, but which was vſed by huſbands, and yeelded vntounto by wiues.
Obiect. The forenamed examples are extraordinary, and that vponupon extraordinary occaſions.
Anſw. Yet they may be patternes for ordinary occaſions which are lawfull and warrantable. Was it not an extraordinary fact of Eliah to pray firſt that there might be no raine, and Iam. 5. 17.then againe that there might be raine? yet is this propounded as a generall patterne to moue vsus to pray for things lawfull.
Now in laying downe this dutie I added the clauſe and caueat of iuſt occaſion, to meet both with ſuch as vponupon diſcontent, or ſuperſtition, leaue the land where the true Goſpell is maintained, and preached, and goe into idolatrous places: and alſo with ſuch wandring giddy heads as only to ſatisfie their owne humour, and to ſee faſhions, as we ſpeake, can neuer reſt in a place, but are continually remouing from countrey to countrey, and from place to place: I thinke (to vſe the words of the Apoſtle) a wife is not vnderunder bondage in ſuch caſeſ.1 Cor. 7. 15.
But if a man be ſent of an ambaſſage by his Prince, or countrey: or if a Preacher or Profeſſor be called into another countrey, as Bucer and Peter Martyr were into England in King Edwards daies (which to this day is vſuall in other countries) or if a man be adiudged vntounto long impriſonment, and vponupon theſe and other like occaſions ſhall require his wife to be with him, ſhe ought in dutie to yeeld vntounto his demand.
Contrary is the minde and practiſe of many wiues, who Contrary, when a wife makes her huſband dwell where ſhe will.being affected and addicted to one place more then another, as to the place where they were bred and brought vp, where their greateſt, beſt, and moſt friends dwell, and where they hauehave good acquaintance, refuſe to goe and dwell where their husbands calling lieth, though he require, and deſire them neuer ſo much. Thus many husbands are forced to their great dammage for peace ſake to yeeld vntounto their wiues, and ſo either to relinquiſh their calling, or to hauehave two houſes; whence it followeth, that ſometimes they muſt neglect their ſeruants and calling, and ſometimes be abſent from their wiues, if not from their children alſo. Some wiues pretend that they cannot endure the ſmoake of the citie, other that they cannot endure the aire of the countrie: whereas indeed their owne humour and conceit ſtuffes them more then either citie ſmoake or countrie aire. I cannot call ſuch the daughters of Sarah herein: 1 Pet. 3. 5, 6.they are not like thoſe forenamed holy women that truſted in God, and were ſubiect to their husbands, but rather like to that light houſewife of the Leuite, who would not dwell in her huſbands Iudg. 19. 2.houſe at mount Ephraim, but at her fathers houſe in Beth-lehem Iudah. Such wiues as I ſpeake of, in matrimoniall chaſtitie may be more honeſt, but in wiuelike ſubiection are little more dutifull. Let this be taken for a fault, and it will be the ſooner amended.
§. 45. Of a wiues *Treat. 4. §. 29.readineſſe to come to her husband when he requires it.
Another particular inſtance of a wiues readineſſe to yeeld vntounto her husbands commandement is, to come to her husband when her husband requireth it, either by calling her, or ſending for her. The forenamed aGen. 31. 4.wiues of Iaakob being ſent for to their husband in the field where he was, made no excuſe, but came preſently. So farre ought wiues herein to ſubiect their wills to their husbands, that though it may ſeeme to them ſome diſparagement to come, yet if their husbands will hauehave it ſo they muſt yeeld, otherwiſe they ſeeme euen to bEſth. 1. 17.deſpiſe their husbands.
Contrary is Vaſhtie-like ſtoutneſſe, when wiues thinke and Contrary, ſtoutneſſe in refuſing to come.ſay, it is a ſeruants part to come when they are called or ſent for, and they will neuer yeeld to be their husbands ſeruants, to come at his command. By the ſame reaſon may all duties of ſubiection be reiected. But for this particular, let ſuch ſtout Eſ…h. 1. 16, &c.dames note the iſſue of Vaſhties ſtubbornneſſe. As many excuſes might be alleaged for her as I thinke for any: for Firſt, ſhe was Hebraei docent Vaſt…am natam fuiſſe ex Baltbaſare rege Chaldaeorum. Feuard. in Eſth. 1. Alij, ex Cyro. Merl. in Eſth.royally deſcended, being the daughter of a King. Secondly, ſhe was then among the honourable women of the kingdome. Thirdly, the King was in drinke when he ſent for her. Fourthly, he ſent for her to ſhew her beautie before multitudes of men, which was not ſeemely. But all theſe were not ſufficient to excuſe her fault, and free her from blame. Firſt, though ſhe were of royall parentage, yet ſhe was a wife, and her husband ſent for her. Secondly, being among the noble women of the kingdome, ſhe ſhould the rather hauehave ſhewed her ſelfe a patterne of ſubiection in this kinde. Thirdly, though he were in drinke, yet remained he an husband: and the thing which he commanded was not ſuch but that ſhe might hauehave done it without ſinne. Fourthly, if ſhe thought the thing vnſeemely, ſhe ſhould firſt hauehave vſed all the faire meanes ſhe could to hauehave beene ſpared; but if by all ſhe could not hauehave preuailed, then (the thing being not ſimplie vnlawfull and a ſinne) ſhe ſhould hauehave yeelded.
Obiect. Her fault was not in that as a wife ſhe came not to her husband, but in that as a ſubiect ſhe came not to her Soueraigne.
Anſw. Her fault was in both: and in the iudgement paſſed againſt her, that former was moſt vrged, namely that by her Esth. 1. 17.example all women might learne to deſpiſe their husbands.
2. Obiect. Her fact is ſo cenſured but by heathen men, that had no vnderſtanding of Gods word.
Anſw. 1. The holy Scripture by the ſeuerall circumſtances ſo diſtinctly noted intimateth that her rebellious fact was a notorious fault: and accordingly both *Pellican. Lauater. Gualt. Strigel. Cuper. Merlin. Feuard. Bellator. Rupert. Iſiodor. Hiſp. Raban. alij que Comment. in Eſth.iudicious commenters, and alſo Preachers doe taxe her of ſinfull diſobedience to her husband.
2. Though they were heathen, yet they ſhewed what ſubiection is required of wiues to their husbands by the very light of nature, whereby this ſinne is aggrauated.
3. Abimelech was but a heathen man, yet his ſentence concerning a womans ſubiection in theſe words, he is to thee a Gen. 20. 16.couering of the eyes, is taken to be iudicious, and being approued by the holy Ghoſt, to be a good proofe. As for that particular of Uaſhtie, why is it ſo largely recorded in the Scripture but for inſtruction, and admonition vntounto wiues?
§. 46. Of a wiues readineſſe to *Treat. §. 29.doe what her husband requireth.
A third particular inſtance of a wiues readineſſe to yeeld vntounto her husbands commandement, is, to performe what buſineſſe he requireth of her. When of a ſudden there came three men to Abram, and he was deſirous to entertaine them, he bid his wife make readie quickly three meaſures of meale, &c. and ſhe Gen. 18. 6.did it accordingly. Ieroboam hauing a weightie occaſion to ſend to Ahijah the Prophet, thought it meet to ſend by his 1 King. 14. 2, &c.wife, ſhe accordingly (though a Queene) went: ſhe did as her husband would hauehave her.
Contrary is the humour of many wiues who will not doe Contrary, ſtubbornneſſe in refuſing to doe a thing vponupon command.any thing vponupon command. If ſuch a wiues husband being deſirous to entertaine a friend on the ſudden, ſhall vſe Abrams phraſe, make readie quickly, &c. ſhe will ſay, let him come and doe it himſelfe, if he will hauehave it ſo quickly done, I will not be his drudge: or if, hauing a matter of moment and ſecrecie, he will his wife her ſelfe to doe it, ſhe will reply, I am none of your ſeruants; cannot you put it to one of them, or doe it your ſelfe? Yet will ſuch wiues be ready to command their husbands to doe eueryevery toy, and if he doe it not, they can reply, is this ſuch a matter? and may not a wife ſpeake to her husband? Were the point of obedience well learned, it would caſt ſuch wiues into another mould.
Theſe few particulars may ſerue for direction in many hundreds. I proceed to the other part of a wiues actiue obedience, which reſpecteth the reproofes of her husband.