Of Domestical Duties, Treatise 3 · Section 42 – Section 43
§. 42. Of aberrations contrary to a wiues ſubiection in doing things without or againſt their husbands conſent.
Now conſider we the vſuall vices and aberrations contrary to thoſe duties: the generall ſumme of all is, for a wife to take on her to doe what ſhe liſt, whether her husband will or no, either not willing that he ſhould know what ſhe doth, or not caring though it be againſt his minde and will. Of this ſort are
1. Such as priuily take money out of their husbands cloſets, 1. Priuy purloyning huſbands goods.counters, or other like places where he laieth it, neuer telling him of it, nor willing that he ſhould know it: likewiſe ſuch as after the like manner take ware out of the ſhop, corne out of the garner, ſheepe out of the flocke, or any other goods to ſell and make money of: or to giuegive away, or otherwiſe to vſe ſo as their husbands ſhall neuer know, if they can hinder it. Such wiues herein ſinne hainouſly, and that in many reſpects.
Firſt they diſobey the ordinance of God in a maine branch of their particular calling, which is ſubiection.
2. They ill repay the care and paines which their husbands take for their good. Many ſuch wiues recompence euill for good, which is a deuilliſh qualitie.
3. They are oft a meanes to impaire and impoueriſh their husbands eſtate.
4. They ſhew themſelues no better then aSi vxor ex bonis communibus ſi…e viri licentia ſaltem praeſumpta accipiat, verè furtum commi…it. Greg. Sayr. clau. reg. l. 9. c. 16.pilfring theeues thereby. All that can be iuſtly and truly ſaid for their right in the common goods, cannot defend them from the guilt of theft: they are the more dangerous by how much the more they are truſted, and leſſe ſuſpected: and their fact is ſo much the more hainous by how much the more deere their husbands ought to be vntounto them.
5. They are a verie ill example to other inferiours in the houſe, for ſeldome hath a man a deceitfull wife, but ſome of the children or ſeruants, are made acceſſarie thereunto, being made her inſtruments to take the goods, and beſtow them as ſhe ordereth, and ſo are made vnfaithfull.
6. They make themſelues ſlaues to their owne children and ſeruants, whom they dare not diſpleaſe, leſt they ſhould tell what was done.
7. They teach their children and ſeruants to be theeues: for beſides that ſuch as are vſed by their miſtreſſes to purloine for them, are thereby made acceſſarie to their ſinne, they will alſo purloine for themſelues, when their miſtreſſes ſhall not know. So as what with the wiues purloining one way, and the childrens or ſeruants another way, a mans eſtate may be waſted as dew before the Sunne, and he not know which way.
2. Such as will hauehave what allowance they thinke beſt for 2. Taking what allowance they liſt.themſelues and family, and ſcornfully ſay, They will not be at their husbands finding: they know beſt what allowance is fitteſt for the family, and that it ſhall hauehave. Many will make their huſbands eare tingle againe, yea and make the whole houſe (if not the ſtreet alſo) ring of it, if they thinke their allowance be not anſwerable to the vttermoſt extent of their husbands eſtate. This impatiencie and inſolencie, as it croſſeth Gods ordinance, ſo it maketh both their liues vncomfortable.
3. Such as cocker, attire, or any way bring vp their children 3. Ordering children againſt their husbands minde.otherwiſe then their husbands would, euen to the griefe and diſhonour of their husbands: keeping them at home when their husbands, for their better education, would hauehave them abroad: as theſe ſinne in hindring the good of their children, ſo alſo in not yeelding to their husbands.4. Ordering ſeruants againſt their husbands minde.
4. Such as will hauehave their owne will about ſeruants, taking in, and putting out whom they pleaſe, and when they pleaſe: vſing ſome ſeruants whom they finde for their turne to the preiudice of their husbands: and carying themſelues ſo ſharply 5. Lending forth their husbands cattell.and ſhrewiſhly to others that are for their husbands turne, as a good, truſtie, faithfull ſeruant cannot long ſtay in the houſe.
5. Such as ſecretly lend out their husbands horſes, or other 6. Feaſting when their husbands ſhall not know it. Abſente marito compotationes domi ne excita. Greg. Naz. ad Olymp.like cattell, more reſpecting to pleaſure a vaine friend, then to pleaſe a good husband. This fault is ſo much the greater, when it is done to the dammage and preiudice of the husband.
6. Such as are then moſt frolicke and iolly, when their huſbands are furtheſt off and cannot know it. Salomon ſets it downe as a note of a ſtrumpet, aProu. 7. 19.then to tricke vp her houſe and to ſeeke for gueſts, when her husband is gone a iourney farre off. Then ought ſhe to be moſt ſolitarie, and by abſtaining from merrie meetings, to ſhew that there can be no greater dampe to her mirth, then the abſence of her husband.
7. Such as thinke their houſes a priſon vntounto them, that cannot 7. Gadding abroad at their owne pleaſure. Noli pedem tuum limine crebro efferre. &c. Naz. loc. citat.long tarrie at home: they thinke they hauehave power to goe when and whither they will, and to tarrie out as long as they liſt, thinke their husbands of it what they will. b1 Tim. 5. 13.The Apoſtle layeth downe this as a marke of a wanton wife, and an idle houſe-wife, being idle (ſaith he) they goe about from houſe to houſe: therefore in cTit. 2. 5.another place he exhorteth them to be keepers at home. The Wiſe-man goeth further, and maketh this to be another note of a ſtrumpet, that dProu. 7. 11.her feet cannot abide in the houſe: which we may ſee verified in eJudg. 19. 2.the Leuites adulterous wife, whoſe fearefull end was a ſtampe of Gods iudgement on ſuch looſe lewdneſſe.
8. Such as care not how or what they binde themſelues vntounto 8. Binding themſelues without conſent of huſband.without their husbands conſent, or knowledge: Herein eſpecially offend ſuch as being ſeduced by Ieſuites, Prieſts, or Friers, take the Sacrament, and thereupon by ſolemne vow and oath binde themſelues neuer to read an Engliſh Bible, nor any Proteſtants bookes, no nor to goe to any of their Churches, or to heare any of their Sermons: and ſuch moſt of all as enter into ſome Popiſh Nunnery, and vow neuer to returne to their husbands againe.
Obiect. f1 Sam. 1. 15.Annah vowed her childe to God without her huſbands conſent, why may not they much more vow themſelues to God?
Anſw. Aſſuredly ſhe was perſwaded that her husband would not be againſt it, and ſo had an implicit conſent: which may well be gathered, becauſe afterwards ſhe made it knowne to him, as both the *foreign componitur ex diuerſis vocibu… foreign Petiui eum a Deo, I hauehave asked him of God.name giuen to the childe, and g1 Sam. 1. 22.that ſpeech of Annah, I will bring him that he may appeare before the Lord, and there abide for euer, and the anſwer of her husband, hUerſ. 23.The Lord eſtabliſh his word, and i1 Sam. 2. 19.his going vp with her when he was dedicated to the Lord, doe all ſhew.
Thus farre of the firſt branch of a wiues ſubmiſſion in abſtaining from doing things without her husbands conſent. The ſecond followeth, in doing the things which herequireth.
§. 43. Of a wiues actiue Obedience.
It is a good proofe and triall of a wiues obedience, to abſtaine from doing ſuch things as otherwiſe ſhe would doe, if her huſbands contrarie will did not reſtraine her: but yet that is not ſufficient, there muſt be an actiue, as well as a paſſiue obedience yeelded. That old Law before mentioned (thy deſire ſhall be ſubiect to thine husband, and he ſhall rule ouer thee) implieth ſo much alſo. If ſhe refuſe to doe what he would hauehave her to doe, her deſire is not ſubiect to him, but to her ſelfe, neither doth he rule ouer her.
This actiue part of her obedience hath reſpect
1. To his commandements, readily to doe what he lawfully A wiues actiue obedience reſpecteth firſt her husbands commandement.commands.
2. To his reproofes, carefully to redreſſe what he iuſtly blameth.
For the firſt, ſo farre ought a wife to be from thinking ſcorne to be commanded by her husband, that the very knowledge which by any meanes ſhe hath of her husbands minde and will, …ought to hauehave the force of a ſtraight commandement with her. This readineſſe to obey is commended in the wiues of Iaakob, to whom when Iaakob had declared what motiues he had to depart from their fathers houſe, intimating thereby that he meant to depart, and would hauehave them to goe with him, yet before he particularly expreſſed his will, they readily anſwered, Whatſoeuer God Gen. 31. 16.hath ſaid vntounto thee, doe: whereby they gaue him to vnderſtand that they were ready to yeeld vntounto whatſoeuer he would hauehave done.