A Treatise of Family Instruction, Chapter 3 · Section 8
SECT. 8. The Benefits of Correction. Directions for Correcting Children.
Direct. 8 IF Reproofs do not prevail with your Children to practiſe thoſe things which you teach them out of the Scriptures, correct them. Correction joyned with Inſtruction, rightly adminiſtred, is the way to make our Children holy and gracious, Prov. 19.15. The Rod and Reproof give Wiſdom, but a Child left to himſelf bringeth his Mother to ſhame. It maketh Children prove great bleſſings and comforts to their Parents, Prov. 29.17. Correct thy Son, and he ſhall give thee reſt; yea, he ſhall give delight unto thy Soul: Correction will be a means of preventing their eternal Damnation, by effecting their Reformation, Prov. 23.13, 14. With-hold not Correction from the Child, for if thou beateſt him with the Rod, he ſhall not die: Thou ſhalt beat him with the Rod, and ſhalt deliver his Soul from Hell. Though they be never ſo much addicted to any ſin, which ſeems to be deeply and faſt rooted in their Souls, Correction prudently and rightly adminiſtred, will be a means to reform them, and make them leave their ſins: Prov. 22.15. Fooliſhneſs is bound in the heart of a Child, but the Rod of Correction will drive it far from him: Prov. 20.30. The blueneſs of a wound cleanſeth away evil, ſo do ſtripes the inward parts of the Belly.
If any ask, How ſhould we correct our Children ſo as to make our Corrections become effectual for their good?
I anſwer:
1. Begin with them betimes, before they have got too great an head, or are habituated to ſin: A Twig is eaſily bent and made ſtraight whilſt it is young, but being let alone for ſome years, it becomes inflexible: Prov. 19.18. Chaſten thy Son while there is hope: Prov. 13.24. He that ſpareth his Rod, hateth his Son, but he that loveth him chaſteneth him betimes.
2. Be not overcome with fond pity, either by their crying or pleading with you to with-hold correction from them when you ſee it meet and neceſſary to correct them; Prov. 19.18. Chaſten thy Son while there is hope, and let not thy Soul ſpare for his crying: They had better cry and roar under your Rod, than roar under Gods wrath in Hell to all Eternity.
3. Joyn Faith and Prayer with your Corrections. Pray to God to bleſs the Corrections as well as the Inſtructions which you give your Children; and though you ſee no preſent fruit of your Corrections, yet be not diſcouraged, but reſt upon Gods promiſes, who hath promiſed that Correction ſhall make our Children leave their ſins, Prov. 22.15. and be a means to ſave their ſouls, Prov. 23.13, 14.
4. In correcting your Children, imitate God in correcting his Children: As for inſtance, 1. God joyns Inſtruction with Correction, and thereby his Corrections come to have a bleſſed effect upon his Children: Pſal. 94.12. Bleſſed is the man whom thou chaſteneſt, O Lord, and reacheſt him out of thy Law: Deal thus with your Children; when you chaſten them, teach them out of the Scriptures the evil of thoſe things for which you correct them. 2. When God chaſtens, he doth not only ſhew us our ſins, but layeth his commands upon us, to leave off our ſins, Job 36.8, 9, 10. If they be holden in cords of affliction, then he ſheweth them their work and their tranſgreſſion that they have exceeded; he openeth alſo their ear to diſcipline, and commandeth that they return from iniquity. So ſhould you charge and command your Children that they ſin no more when you correct them. 3. God is not extream to correct for every ſmall fault, Pſal. 130.3. If thou Lord ſhouldeſt mark iniquities, O Lord who ſhall ſtand? If any thing be done ignorantly, he is ready to wink at that, Acts 17.30. The times of this ignorance God winked at— 4. God diſtinguiſheth between his Children: Such as are dutiful diligent Children, ſhall not be corrected ſo ſmartly as thoſe that are careleſs and negligent, Mal. 3.17. I will ſpare them as a man ſpareth his own Son that ſerveth him. 5. When Gods deareſt Children need Correction, and he ſeeth it is for their good, they ſhall have it as well as others: So ſhould you do; If you have any Child which is dearer and more delightful than the reſt, you ſhould correct that as well as the others, when it needs Correction. Prov. 3.12. Whom the Lord loveth he correcteth, even as a Father the Son in whom he delighteth. 6. The Lord corrects in meaſure, Jer. 30.11. I will correct thee in meaſure, and will not leave thee altogether unpuniſhed. He is careful not to break or ſink his peoples Spirits by his Corrections; Iſa. 57.16. I will not contend for ever, neither will I be always wroth, for the Spirit ſhould fail before me, and the Soul which I have made. In like manner, you ſhould be careful that you do not correct your Children out of meaſure, or ſo as to ſink and quench their Spirits. 7. God doth not correct his Children in anger, but out of love, Rev. 3.19. As many as I love, I rebuke and chaſten: And as he corrects in love, ſo he doth aim at their good, Heb. 12.10. They verily for a few days chaſtened us after their own pleaſure, but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his Holineſs. In like manner, when you correct your Children, let it not be in paſſion, but out of love to their Souls, and with a deſire and deſign to do them good. 8. God tries to reform his Children firſt by leſſer and more gentle afflictions; and when they will not prevail to reform them, then he deals more ſeverely with them, and will not leave following them with one correction after another, till he hath humbled and reformed them, Iſa. 9.1. At the firſt he lightly afflicted the Land of Zebulun and Naphthali, and afterwards did more grievouſly afflict her by the way of the Sea: Lev. 26.23, 24. If ye will not be reformed by theſe things, but will walk contrary unto me, then will I alſo walk contrary unto you, and will puniſh you yet ſeven times for your ſins. So ſhould you firſt try more gentle means, and if that will not prevail, chaſtiſe them more ſeverely, and be not diſcouraged from inſtructing and correcting them, till you have humbled and ſubdued their ſpirits, and cauſed them to reform their lives.