Serious Reflections on Time and Eternity, Tract · Chapter 25
XXV. How Chriſtians ought to examine their Decays of Grace and Piety. The greatneſs of their Sin, and of their Loſs under ſuch a Declenſion: God's Diſpleaſure, and departure from them, conſidered, to awaken Endeavours of a Recovery. In what manner the Faith of Adherence may be acted by one, who hath no Aſſurance.
IT cannot but be of uſe to Believers alſo, at ſtated Times to examine themſelves, concerning their Languiſhings and Decays in Grace, falling from their firſt Love, to a Spirit of Indifferency and Lukewarmneſs, diſorderly walking or unfruitfulneſs; whether gray Hairs are not here and there upon them, and they know it not. For God may withdraw by degrees, ſo that his departure may not preſently be perceiv'd. And ſome kind of Activity in Duty may be continued upon falſe Principles, and from Common Aſſiſtance, while a Chriſtian, as to his ſpiritual State, may be under a dangerous Conſumption. 'Tis not difficult for others to obſerve it ſome times, and would be viſible enough to themſelves, would they ſpare a few hours to examine the matter. The Puniſhment of ſuch Backſlidings, the loſs of the quickning and comforting Preſence of the Holy Spirit, deſerves likewiſe to be inquir'd into, in order to a ſpeedy Remedy, and ſhould enforce the Counſel.
I mean not barely the Ebbing of Affections in the Duties of Religion, or the want of Life, and quickning from ſenſible Conſolations, which new Converts, (eſpecially ſuch as have been reclaim'd from a courſe of notorious Impiety) have more of at firſt than afterwards. This doubting Chriſtians ſhould particularly take notice of, by the Inſtance of the Prodigal, who was extraordinarily feaſted at his firſt return, but was doubtleſs contented afterwards with the ordinary Proviſions of his Fathers houſe. Neither doth God diſpence the ſame meaſure to all alike, nor to any alike at all Times: Some, who are called to greater Services and Sufferings, than others, or had greater Conflicts before Converſion, may have a greater ſhare than the reſt of their Brethren. Neither will the ſame degree of Grace imparted to ſome Perſons, ſo diſcernably move and comfort, as it will do ſome others of a different Temper. 'Tis not therefore ſo much to be the matter of our Enquiry, (if at all it need to be ſo) whether we have more or leſs of ſenſible Joy in the performance of Duty. But
Whether we are not fallen and declin'd, as to the inward vital Acts of Grace, and in the outward Fruits of Holineſs. Whether we have ſuch clear convincing Apprehenſions of Divine and Spiritual Truths, and the Myſteries of the Goſpel, as formerly; whether our minds are not become more vain and heedleſs; whether our Knowledg of God, and of the Revelations of his Will, be as powerful and efficacious upon our Hearts and Lives, as heretofore; whether there be no leſs Frequency, leſs Conſiſtency, leſs inward Satisfaction in holy ſerious Thoughts, than formerly. You were wont to pray and endeavour, that God might be firſt and laſt in your Thoughts every day, and by frequent Ejaculations in civil Affairs, to maintain a dayly converſe with God; but now you mind not whether it be ſo or not; yea, you cannot but know, that it is not thus with you ſtill. It was once your Burden to be peſter'd with fooliſh, filthy, worldly, vain Thoughts, eſpecially on the Lord's Day, or in the Worſhip of God; you rejected and diſown'd them, you lamented and pray'd againſt them; do ſo much as examine, whether it be thus ſtill.
Conſider all your Affections, and their ſeveral Objects; and ſee whether a criminal Lukewarmneſs hath not diffus'd it ſelf into every of them. Examine every Grace; and ſee whether your Faith, Hope, Love, holy Deſires, and Delight in God be not miſerably abated; as to the ſtrength and vigor, the efficacy, and frequent exerciſe of every of them; ſo that your Thoughts of God are few, cold, and lifeleſs, without deſire, delight and love.
Conſider the Opportunities of Publick Worſhip, and ſolemn Occaſions of approaching the Divine Preſence: Are they as much the deſire of your Souls, and the rejoycing of your Hearts as once they were? Are you not more eaſily diverted from them, leſs ſatisfi'd and refreſht by them? Are not all Goſpel Ordinances leſs powerful and quickning, and your profit and advantage thereby unſpeakably leſs then formerly? Do you hunger and thirſt, and pant as the Hart after the Water-brooks, to draw nigh to God, and come into his Courts? Do you make Conſcience of preparing before hand? Do you come with a real deſire, and deſign, and expectation of profiting, and bettering your Spirits? Do you joyn in every part of Divine worſhip, with that attention, ſeriouſneſs, and compoſure of mind, and taſte the ſweetneſs and benefit of ſuch ſolemnities, as formerly? Are ſuch ſervices performed with that Awe of God, with that Humility, Fervency, and Intenſneſs of Spirit, as ſometimes they were? Are you not more negligent and unconcern'd before and after, whether you find any thing of this or no? Tho your Deſires are weak, your Hearts flat, your Thoughts wandring, your Spirits trifling, ſo the work be done, and the duty be over, (in how formal, cuſtomary, and careleſs a manner, ſoever it be) you conſider it not, you lay it not to Heart, you reflect not upon it, you bewail it not, or at leaſt are better contented and ſooner quieted, and take leſs notice of the frame of your Heart in ſuch Duties, than formerly?
Examine farther, how 'tis with you as to the great diſtinguiſhing Duties of an upright Chriſtian, (if performed as they ought to be) I mean Secret Prayer and Meditation: Are you as ſtrict and careful, conſtant and Conſcientious, frequent and abundant in theſe, as formerly? May not our Cloſets and places of Retirement witneſs againſt us? How ſeldome are we there? How quickly are we gone? How eaſily diverted? How ſoon tired? How do we trifle in that work, and ſhuffle it over, and take up with the ſhadow and image of Prayer? Our former humble and importunate Prayers, joyful Thankſgivings, and ſweet Contemplation of the Myſteries of Religion, compared with our preſent dayly practice, will teſtifie that we are declin'd and fallen.
Moreover conſider the Evil of Sin, and how your Heart ſtands affected to it. Is not your Hatred of Sin, and Zeal againſt it, much decayed? eſpecially with reſpect to inward Spiritual ſins, ſuch as the ſecret workings of unbelief, and diſtruſt, pride, envy, uncharitableneſs, &c. Do you bewail it, ſtrive againſt it, and ſhun the occaſions, and fear the temptations that may lead you into Sin, as once you did? Have you not loſt much of that tenderneſs, and holy Jealouſy over your heart and ways, you formerly had? Do you not now make more bold with Temptation? Are you not oftner conquered? and with leſs Reluctance? and by ſmaller Temptations? &c.
Are you not more Ʋnſerviceable? Root and Fruit in a withering condition? God leſs Honour'd, and others leſs profited, and edified by your Example and Life? Do you not adhere more to the world? conform to it, and comply with it in many things, which formerly you durſt not have done? and are every day waxing worſe? Make a pauſe a while, and bethink your ſelf, what this will come to at laſt? When even the little Good that remains, is ready to dye.
May I not ask ſuch Chriſtians, or deſire them to ask themſelves; What is already the effect and conſequence of this Declenſion? Is not God's Spirit removed, and the Light of his Countenance Eclipſed? Yea as to many of them, are they not under ſad apprehenſions of God's diſpleaſure? Do they not feel the terrors of the Lord? Do they not walk heavily from day to day? They that could once converſe with God on all occaſions as a Friend, and a Father, do now think of God and are troubled: Thick Darkneſs doth incompaſs them round about: They have loſt the ſenſe of his Love, the comforts of his preſence, and their Song in the night, and ſee no relief. This is a more hopeful caſe however, than theirs, who are under great Backſlidings and Deſertion, and hardly ſenſible of it. To awaken and aſſiſt both; Conſider I beſeech you, whence you are fallen, and what you have loſt, and what will be the iſſue of this; if Sickneſs, or ſome ſmart Affliction overtake you; or if you ſhould dye in this condition. And inquire ſeriouſly, and preſently, into the cauſe of all this Evil: for a few tranſient thoughts will not affect the Heart and perſuade to Action. And do it preſently, becauſe by every delay your work will be the harder, your danger the greater, and your recovery the more difficult. Reflect upon the Sinfulneſs as well as Affliction of this caſe. Know that you have diſpleaſed God, and run from him, neglected his Preſence, and griev'd his Spirit, and in what Inſtances you have done ſo; that hath made him weary of his dwelling? what Ordinances you have ſlighted; what Duties you have omitted; what ſins you have given way to; in order to Repentance and deep Humiliation.
Can you contentedly ſit ſtill, with this diſmal State of things? while God hath ſomewhat (yea a great deal indeed) againſt you, for having left your firſt Love? Will you not endeavour to remove that, which hath made ſuch a ſeparation between God and you, and brought you thus low? What Communion with God, what Communications of his Grace, what Influences of his Spirit, and Evidences of his Favour have you loſt? And will you not acknowledg your Iniquity, and abaſe your ſelves in the Duſt, and return to the Lord, and do your firſt works? that he may heal your Backſlidings, and receive you graciouſly; that you may again take hold of his Covenant, and be at Peace with him.
But to be at Peace with God, is not the whole of your Concern, you need not only a Pardon, but a Phyſician to heal you; as doth a Malefactor, that is not only liable to the Law, but deſperately ſick. Your State is ſinful, and dangerous, as well as troubleſome. From performing duties in ſuch a manner as you now do, you may quickly be Tempted to let them altogether alone. God may be ſo far provok'd to ſuffer Satan to make attempts upon you of that kind: (and he is forward enough to make uſe of ſuch an opportunity, to try all his Snares and Stratagems againſt you:) till he prevail with you, to think hardly of God himſelf,*Vid. Mr. Gilpin of Temptation. p. 2. chap. 6. unthankfully to overlook all his former kindneſſes, to put the worſt Interpretation that can be upon all his Providences; to diſtruſt and quarrel with him, as if his faithfulneſs had failed, and his Mercy were clean gone for ever, and there were no hope left, for one in your caſe: and ſo run into Deſperation, and through the ſubtlety and violence of Satan's Temptations, try the moſt fooliſh and unlawful means for eaſe and cure; either open Licentiouſneſs, or it may be Self-Murder.
Therefore ſpeedy preſent Repentance is neceſſary, to find out, and mortifie every Corruption, and that eſpecially, which Conſcience tells us, you have moſt indulg'd; from whence your Diſtreſs doth principally ariſe: Confeſſing your ſin freely, fully, and without reſerve, and waiting on God in the diligent uſe of all means, for the recovery of that which you have loſt: and Juſtifying God in his Righteouſneſs, Truth, Wiſdom, Holineſs, in all his Rebukes. That you may regain a Spirit of Prayer, and taſte the ſweetneſs, vertue, and efficacy of every Duty, and of every Ordinance; and God may give you the Garment of Praiſe for the Spirit of Heavineſs, and the Joy of the Lord may be your Strength, for future ſervice and ſuffering.
In the mean time, do not caſt away your Hope, but tho you have (too juſtly) depriv'd your ſelf of the Faith of Aſſurance, yet indeavour to maintain and exerciſe the Faith of Adherence (a)Vid. Dr. Owen on Pſ. 130.2.. Say unto God, that becauſe there is forgiveneſs with him, therefore he is to be feared. My ſin is not too great to be forgiven. 'Tis not the Ʋnpardonable Sin: for I deſire to repent, and am reſolv'd to return. I will ſtill cleave to the Lord, and wait upon him, and follow hard after him, and take no other courſe for Deliverance and Comfort. Mine is not a ſingle Caſe: I am not the only Soul that hath been ſo diſtreſſed, and yet found relief, by ſeeking unto God. 'Tis therefore good for me to hope, and quietly wait for the Salvation of God (b)Lam. 3. c. 26.. I will draw near to God; I will lye at his foot; and continue in all ways of Worſhip and Duty, wherein I may hope to meet with the quickning, and comfort, of his Spirit: I will ſeek relief from no other; I will keep as near him as I can; whither elſe ſhall I go, he alone hath the words of Eternal Life; he alone can create (what is the fruit of his own lips) Peace, Peace.
*Vid. Mr. Baxter's Method for Peace of Conſcience.I will encourage my ſelf in the conſideration of his General Grace, and the probabilities of his ſpecial Love: I will recollect my former Experiences, when I had ſome good hope, through Grace, concerning my Adoption: I will remember the years of the right hand of the moſt High. If God will give me ſo much Grace as to continue waiting, I will hope ſtill: and though I walk in darkneſs, and ſee little or no Light, I will ſtay my ſelf upon the Lord. And if by the want of ſenſible Conſolation he will make me more humble, and keep me in a greater Submiſſion to his will, I will bleſs his holy Name; and derive more comfortable hope from thence, than from the moſt ſweet and ſenſible Conſiderations I ever had; and look upon Humility, Self-denial, Dependance on God, Reſignation to him, and Hatred of ſin, as a better ſign of his Love, than the higheſt fervors of Affection in his ſervice can be.
Oh that I had formerly done as much for Holineſs, as I have for Comfort! by the enjoyment of the one, I ſhould have had more of the other: the Exerciſe of Grace would have diſcover'd the Truth of it. Let me therefore accuſe and condemn my ſelf; but ſtill truſt, and love God, and wait upon him. Let me reſolve never to chooſe a new Lord or Maſter. Or take up with any Portion beneath God himſelf; or any way of Hope or Salvation, but by J. Chriſt, my only Saviour; neither let me forſake the way of Faith and Holineſs, for all the hopes and Happineſs of this World, if put to my choice. But be always able to ſay, (Bleſſed be God I now can) that I will return to my former Husband, for then it was better with me than now. I had peace and refreſhment in my former ways, I will return to them. Lord, forſake me not utterly! Keep not thine Anger for ever: Caſt me not away from thy preſence, and take not thy H. Spirit from me: Reſtore unto me the Joy of thy Salvation, that my Heart may be inlarged to praiſe thy name, and to run the way of thy Commandments.