Letters in Two Parts, Part 1 · LETTER 41 – LETTER 44
To the Lady Culross. (41)
MADAM.
GRace, mercy & peace be to you: I dare not say I wonder that ye have never written to me in my bonds, because I am not ignorant of the cause; yet I could not but write to you: I know not whether joy or heaviness in my soul carrieth it away; sorrow without any mixture of sweetness, hath not often love-thoughts of Christ, but I see the devil can insinuat himself & ride his errands upon the thoughts of a poor oppressed prisoner. I am woe that I am making Christ my unfriend by seeking pleas against him, because I am the first in the Kingdom put to utter silence, & because I cannot preach my Lord's righteousness in the great congregation: I am notwithstanding the less solicitous how it goe, if there be not wrath in my cup. But I know, I but claw my wounds when my physician hath forbidden me: I would beleeve in the dark upon luck's head, & take my hazard of Christ's goodwill & rest on this, that in my fever my Physician is at my bed-side, & that he sympathizeth with me when I sigh. My borrowed house, & another man's bed & fire-side & other losses have to room in my sorrow, a greater heat to eat out a less fire, is a good remedie for some burning. I beleeve when Christ draweth blood he hath skill to cut the right veine & that he hath taken the whole ordering and disposing of my sufferings. Let him tutour me, & tutour my crosses as he thinketh good, there is no danger nor hazard in following such a guide; howbeit he should lead me through hell, if I could put faith foremost, & fill the fieldwith a quiet on-waiting, & beleeving to see the salvation of God. I know Christ is not obliged to let me see both the sides of my cross, & turn it over & over, that I may see all, My faith is richer to live upon credit, & Christ's borrowed money, then to have much in my hand. Alas I have forgotten that faith in times past hath stopped a lek in my crazed barke, & hath filled my sailes with a fair wind: I see it a work of God that experiences are all lost, when summonds of improbation, to prove our Charters of Christ to be counterfit, are raised against poor souls in their heavie trials: but let me be a sinner, & worse then the chief of sinners, yea a guilty devil, I am sure my welbeloved is God, & when I say Christ is God, & my Christ is God, I have said all things, I can say no more: I would I could build as much on this, my Christ is God, as it would bear, I might lay all the world upon it: I am sure Christ untried, and untaken up in the power of his love, Kindness, mercies, goodness, wisdom, long-suffering & greatness, is the rock that dim-sighted travellers dash their foot against, & so stumble fearfully. But my wounds are sorest, & pain me most, to sin against his love, & his mercy, & if he would set me & my conscience by the ears together & resolve not to rid the plea, but let us deal it betwixt us; my spitting upon the fair face of Christ's love, & mercies, by my Jealousies, unbelief, and doubting would be enough to sink me. Oh, oh, I am convinced O Lord, I stand dumb before thee for this: Let me be mine own Judge in this, and I take a dreadfull doom upon me for it; for I still misbeleeve, though I have seen that my Lord hath made my cross, as if it were all Crystal, so as I can see thorow it Christs fair face and heaven, and that God hath honoured a lump of sinfull flesh and blood the like of me, … to be Christ's honourable Lord-prisoner, I ought to esteem the walls of the theeves-hole (if I were shut up in it) or any stinking dungeon, all hung with tapestrie, & most beautifull for my Lord Jesus, & yet I am not so shut up, but that the sun shineth upon my prison, & the fair wide heaven is the covering of it. But my Lord in his sweet visits hath done more, for he make me finde that he will be a confined prisoner with me: he lieth down, & riseth up with me, when I sigh, he sigheth: When I weep, he suffereth with me; & I confesse here is the blessed issue of my sufferings already begun, that my heart is filled with hunger & desire, to have him glorified in my sufferings. Blessed ye of the Lord, Madam, if ye would help a poor Dyvour, & cause others of your acquaintance in Christ help me, to pay my debt of love, even reall praises to Christ my Lord. Madam let me charge you in the Lord, as ye will answer to him, help me in this duty [which he hath tyed about my neck with a chain of such singular expressions of his loving kindness] to set on high Christ, to hold in my honesty at his hands, for I have nothing to give him. O that he would arrest & comprise my love & my heart for all! I am a Dyvour who have no more free goods in the world for Christ, save that, it is both the whole heritage I have & all my movables besides: Lord give the thirsty man a drink. Oh to be over the ears in the well! Oh to be swattering, & swimming over head & ears in Christ's love! I would not have Christ's love entering in me, but I would enter into it, & be swallowed up of that love. But I see not my self here, for I fear I make more of his love then of himself; whereas himself is far beyond & much better then his love. Oh if I had my sinfull armes filled with that lovely one Christ! Blessed be my rich Lord Jesus who sendeth not away beggers from his house with a toom dish. He filleth the vessels of such as will come & seek: We might beg our selves rich, [if we were wise,] if we could but hold out our withered hands to Christ, & learn to suit, & seek, aske, & knock. I ow my salvation for Christ's glory, low it to Christ, & desire that my hell, yea a new hell, seven times hotter then the old hell, might buy praises before men and Angels to my Lord Jesus; providing alwayes I were free of Christ's hatred & displeasure. What am I to be forfeited & sold in soul & body, to have my great & royall King set on high, and extolled above all? O if I knew how high to have him set, & all the world far, far beneath the soles of his feet! Nay I deserve not to be the matter of his praises, far less to be an agent in praising of him. But he can win his own glory out of me, & out of one worse then I [if any such be] if it please his holy Majesty so to doe; he knoweth that I am not now flattering him. Madam let me have your prayers, as ye have the prayers & blessing of him that is separated from his Brethren. Grace, Grace be with you.
Aberd. June 15. 1637. Your own in his sweet Lord Iesus, S. R.
To the Earle of Cassills. (42)
My very Noble & honourable Lord.
I make bold (out of the honourable & Christian report I hear of your Lo: having no other thing to say, but that which concerneth the honourable cause, which the Lord hath enabled your Lo: to professe) to write this, that it is your Lo: crown, your glory, & your honour to set your shoulder under the Lords glory, now falling to the ground; & to back Christ now, when so many think it wisdom to let him send for himself: the shields of the earth ever did, & doe still beleeve, that Christ is a cumbersom neighbour, & that it is a pain to hold up his yea's, & nay's: They fear he take their chariots, & their crownes, & their honour, from them; but my Lord standeth in need of none of them all: But it is your glory to own Christ & his buried truth, for let men say what they please, the plea with Sion's enemies in this day of Jacob's trouble, is, If Christ should be King, & no mouth steak lawes but his? It concerneth the apple of Christ's eye, & his royall priviledges, what now is debated: & Christ's Kingly honour is come to yea, & nay: But let me be pardoned my, my dear & Noble Lord, to beseech you by the mercies of God, by the comforts of the Spirit, by the wounds of your dear Saviour, by your compearance before the Judge of quick & dead; to stand for Christ, and to back him. Oh if the Nobles had done their part, & been zealous for the Lord it had not been as it is now; but men think it wisdom to stand beside Christ, till his head be broken, & sing dumb. there is a time coming when Christ will have a thick court & he will be the glory of Scotland, & he shall make a diadem, a garland, a seal upon his heart & a ring on his finger, of these, who have avouched him before this faithlesse generation: Howbeit ere that come, wrath from the Lord is ordained for this land. My Lord, I have cause to write this to your Lo: for I dare not conceal his kindness to the soul of an afflicted, exiled prisoner: Who hath more cause to boast in the Lord then such a sinner as I? Who am feasted with the consolations of Christ, & have no pain in my sufferings, but the pain of soul-sickness of love for Christ, & sorrow that I cannot get help to sound aloud the high praises of him who hath heard the fighing of the prisoner, & is content to lay the head of his oppressed servant in his bosome, under his chinne, & let him feel the smell of his garments. This I behooved to write that your Lo: might know, Christ is as good as he is called, & to testifie to your Lo: the cause your Lo: now professeth before this faithless world is Christ's: & your Lo: shall have no shame of it. Grace be with you.
Aberd. March. 13. 1637. Your Lo: obliged Servant S. R.
To the much honoured JOHN OSBURN, Provest of Ayr. (43).
Much honoured Sir,
GRrace mercy, & peace be to you; Upon our small acquaintance & the good report I hear of you, I could not but write to you: I have nothing to say, but Christ in that honourable place lie hath put you in, hath intrusted you with a dear pledge which is his own glory; & hath armed you with his sword to keep the pledge & make a good account of it to God. Be not affraid of me. Your master can mowe down his enemies & make with red hay of fair flowers. your time will not be long; after your after… will come your evening, & after evening night: serve Christ, back him, lethis cause be your cause; give not an hair breadth of … away, for it is not yours but God's: then, since ye are going take Christ's t…ti…cat with you out of this life, Well done good & faithfull servant. His well done is worth a shipfull of Good-dayes & earthly honours. I have cause to say this, because I finde him truth it self: In my sad dayes, Christ laugheth cheerfully & saith, All will be well. Would to God, all this Kingdom, & ye, & all that know God, knew, what is betwixt me & Christ in this prison, what kisses, embracements, & love-communings: I take his cross in my armes with joy, I blesse it, I rejoyce in it: suffering for Christ is my garland; I would not exchange Christ for ten thousand worlds; nay [if the comparison could stand] I would not exchange Christ with heaven. Sir, pray for me, & the prayers & blessing of a prisoner of Christ meet you in all your straits. Grace be with you.
Aberd. March. 14. 1637. Yours in Christ Iesus his Lord. S. R.
To ROBERT GORDON Bailiffe of Ayr. (44)
Worthy Sir.
GRace, mercy & peace be to you: I long to hear from you in paper. Remember your Chief's speeches on his deathbed: I pray your Sir sell all & buy the pearle; time will cut you from this world's glory: Look what will doe you good, when your glasse shall be run out, & let Christ's love bear most court in your soul, & that court will bear down the love of other things: Christ seeketh your help in your place, give him your hand: Who hath more cause to encourage others to own Christ then I have? for he hath made me sick of love & le…t me in pain to wrestle with his love, & love is like to fall a swoon through his absence: I mean not that he deserteth me, or that I am ebbe of comforts, but this is an uncouth pain. Oh that I had a heart & a love to render to him back again! O if principalities & powers, thrones & dominions & all the world, would help me to praise. Praise him in my behalf. Remember my love to your wife. I thank you most kindly for your love to my brother. Grace be with you.
Aberd. March. 13. 1637. Yours in his sweet Lord Iesus. S. R.