Letters in Two Parts, Part 1 · LETTER 40
To my Lady Boyd. (40.)
My Very Honourable & Christian Lady.
GRace, mercy & peace be to you: I received your letter & am well pleased that your thoughts of Christ stay with you, & that your purpose still is, by all means to take the Kingdom of heaven by Violence, which is no small conquest, and it is a degree of watchfulness & thankfulness also, to observe sleepiness & unthankfulness: we have all good cause to complain of false light that playeth the thief, & stealeth away the lantern when it cometh to the practice of constant walking with God: our journey is ten times a day broken in ten pieces, Christ getteth but onelyonly broken & halfed and tired work of us, & alas too often against the hair. I have been some what neerer the bridegroom, but when I draw nigh, & see my vileness, for shame I would be out of his presence again, but yet desire of his soulrefreshing love, puteth blushing-me under an arrest. O what am I, so loathsom a burden of sin, to stand beside such a beautifull & holy Lord, such an high & lofty one who inhabiteth eternity: but since it pleaseth Christ to condescend to such an one as me, let shamefa…eness be laid aside, & lose it self in his condescending love. I would heartily be content to keep a corner of the Kings hall: Oh if I were at the yonder end of my weak desires, then should I be where Christ my Lord, & lover, lives & reigns, there I should be overlastingly solaced with the sight of his face, & satisfied with the surpassing sweetness of his matchless love: But truly now I stand in the nether side of my desires, & with a drowping head, & panting heart, I look up to fair Jesus standing a far off from us, while corruption & death shall scour & refine the body of clay, & rot out the bones of the old man of sin: In the mean time we are blessed in sending word to the beloved, that we love to love him, and till then there is joy in wooing, suiting, lying about his house, looking in at the windows & sending a poor souls groans & wishes thorow a hole of the door to Jesus, till God send a glad meeting: And blessed be God that after a low-ebbe, & so sad a word Lord Iesus it is long since I saw thee, That even then, our wings are growing & the absence of sweet Jesus breedeth a new fleece of desires & longings for him: I know no man hath a velvet cross, but the cross is made of that which God will have it. But verily howbeit it be no warrantable market, to buy a cross; yet I dare not say, O that I had liberty to sell Christs cross, lest therewith also I should sell joy, comfort, sense of love, patience & the kind visits of a bridegroom: And therefore blessed be God, we get crosses unbought & good cheap. S… I am, it were better to buy crosses for Christ, then to sell them; howbeit neither be allowed to us: And for Christ's joyfull coming, & going which your La: speaketh of, I bear with it, as love can permit: it should be enough to me, if I were wise, that Christ will have joy & sorrow halfers of the life of the saints, and that each of them should have a share of our dayes, as the night and the day are kindly partners and halfers of Time, and take it up betwixt them: But if sorrow be the greediest halfer of our dayes here, I know joy's day shall dawn, & doe more then recompense all our sad hours: Let my Lord Jesus (since he will doe so) weave my bit and span-length of time, with white & black, well and woe, with the bridgroom's coming and his sad departure, as warp & woof in one web, & let the rose be neighboured with the thorn, yet hope (that maketh not ashamed) hath written a letter and lines of hope to the mourners in Zion, that it shall not be long so: when we are over the water Christ shall cry down crosses and up heaven for evermore, & down hell & down death, & down sin, & down sorrow, & up glory, up life, up joy for evermore: In this hope I sleep quietly in Christ's bosome, while he come who is not slack; & would sleep so, were it not, that the noise of the devil, & Sin's feet, & the cryes of an unbeleeving heart awaken me; but for the present I have nothing whereof I can accuse Christ's cross. Oh if I could please my self in Christ onelyonly! I hope Madam your Sons will improve their power for Jesus, for there is no danger, neither is there any question or justling betwixt Christ & Authority; though our enemies falsly state the question, as if Christ and Authority could not abide under one roof; the question onelyonly is betwixt Christ and men in Authority: Authority is for & from Christ, & sib to him; how then can he make a plea with it? Nay the truth is, wormes & Gods of clay, are risen up against Christ. If the fruit of your La: Womb be helpers of Christ, ye have good ground to rejoyce in God. All your La: can expect for your goodwill to me & my Brother (a wronged stranger for Christ) is, the prayers of a prisoner of Iesus, to whom I recommend your La: & house & children, & in whom I am.
Aberd. Sept. 8. 1637. MADAM. Your …: in Christ. S. R.