Christian Directions, Chapter 26
CHAP. XXVI.
Of the Duties of Parents.
HAving shewed the Duties of Husbands and Wives, I come now to shew the Duties of Parents and Children.
The Duties of Parents in reference to their Children, are these.
I. To see that they bee admitted into the Church by Baptism in conven… …, i. e. within some few daies after they are born. The Iew. Gen. 17. 12.vere commanded to circumcize their children on the eighth day; But though Baptism succeeded in the room of Circumcision,Col. 2. 11, 12. as the Apostle hinteth; yet are not wee now under the Gospel strictly tied to that day; notwithstanding from that command of God to the Iews, wee may doubtless infer, that the Children of Christians may and ought to be baptized within some few daies after they are born.
II. To train them up in the fear and nurture of the Lord. This duty the Apostle Paul in special presseth upon Parents, Yee Parents, saith hee,Ephes. 6. 4. bring up your Children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, q. …. Let your main care be, not how to make them rich, but religious, how to work the sincere fear of God into their souls, that as God of his infinite goodness hath made them your children by natural Generation, so you should strive and indeavour to make them his Children, by a godly and religious education. Austin in his fifth Book of Confessions,Majori solicitud…ne me parturicbat spiritu, quam carne, &c. Aug. Confess. lib. 5. cap. 9. speaking of his Mother Monica, saith, That shee travelled with greater care, and stronger pai… for his spiritual birth, than for his natural birth. And truly the like care and pains should be in all Paren… towards their Children. Not thinking it sufficient that they have brought them up to some good Trade, whereby they may live another day: But they must likewise bring them up in the fear of God, teaching them so to serve him here, that they may live with him eternally in the Heavens.
For your better help herein take these few Directions.
1 Instruct them in the Principles of Religion, by teaching them some good Catechism, which should be frequently, if not daily performed, though but a very little at once, to prevent wearisomeness in your children.
Q. How soon should wee begin to teach our children?
A. When they are able to learn any thing that is evil,Prov. 4. 3, 4. it is high time to teach them something that is good. Solomon saith, when hee was young and tender, Prov. 31. 1, 2.his Father taught him. And that his Mother did so too, you may read in the last chapter of the Book of Proverbs.
2 Betimes instruct them in the practical part of Christianity, by calling upon them frequently to read the Scriptures; daily to offer up a morning and an evening Sacrifice of prayer and praise unto God; constantly to give thanks before and after meals, carefully to avoid all known sins, and diligently to perform every known duty, and that out of conscience.Gen. 18. 19. This the Lord commended in Abraham, I know him, saith God, that hee will command his children, and his houshold after him, to keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgement.
3 Bring them with you to the House of God, so soon as they can remember any thing which they hear. When Ioshua read the words of the Law before the Congregation of Israel, Josh. 8. 35.it is expresly said, That the women and the little-ones were amongst the men.
4 Examine your children at home of what they have heard in the publick Congregation, and labour to make it more clear and plain to their understanding.
5 Bee often speaking before them of the great things the Lord hath done for his Church and people, both of old, Josh. 4. 6.and in your daies. This the Lord commanded the Israelitish Parents to do to their children,Psal. 78. 4, 5, 6. which wee finde accordingly practised by them. As children generally have good memories, so they are excellent at the remembring of stories.
6 Bee patterns of piety and godl…ness unto your children. For the truth is, there is great force in Examples to draw others either to good or evil. And it is usually the disposition of Children to follow their Parents; And therefore how doth it concern Parents to look to their waies and courses, especially how they behave themselves before their children, who are much inclined to follow their example? Oh that all Parents would seriously think of this, that the consideration hereof might reclaim them from all loose and wicked courses, lest by their evil example they make their children twofold more the children of Hell, than they were by nature!
7 Bee sure you forget not daily to pray to God for them, especially that hee would indue them with his saving, sanctifying graces, that as they grow in years, so they may grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. And for your incouragement know, that children of many prayers seldome miscarry. Parents are generally careful to lay up wealth and riches for their children, oh that they would be as careful to lay up a stock of prayers for them in Heaven, which will questionless prove their childrens best portion!
Oh that all Parents would thus indeavour to bring up their children in the fear and nurture of the Lord, that as they were instruments to beget them in the flesh, so they might be instruments to beget them in the Faith! which is the main duty incumbent upon Parents in reference to their children.
III. Another duty is, To provide for the bodies of their children, as well as for their souls. This the Apostle intimateth, where hee saith,1 Tim 5. 8. If any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, Hac parte fidelis, si curam suorum nen habeat, infideli deter…or est; absolute deteriorem esse, non est necesse. Estius.hee is worse than an Infidel, viz. in this point, because he by the light of nature knoweth this to be a duty. And again saith the Apostle, in 2 Cor. 12. 14. Children ought not to lay up for their Parents, but Parents for their children; as God shall bless them. But yet beware of with-holding thy hand from works of charity, because of many children, nay rather, the more children thou hast, the more liberal thou oughtest to be, that so the Lord may double his blessing upon thee and thine; for the seed of the merciful, saith the Psalmist,Psal. 37. 26. are blessed. And saith the Apostle,2 Cor. 9. 6. Hee that soweth bountifully, shall reap bountifully.
IV. It is the duty of Parents to rebuke their children when they do amiss, whereby you may both free your selves from the guilt of your childrens sin▪ and prevent much evil in your children. For questionless the want thereof is one special cause of so much wickedness and prophaneness in many children.
V. When reproof prevails not, you ought to correct them for their faults. This duty the Scripture often presseth upon Parents; Chasten thy Son while there is hope, Prov. 19. 18.and let not thy soul spare for his crying; or, as the Original properly signifieth, Let not thy soul spare to his destruction. Intimating, that the Fathers sparing of his child, may tend to his destruction, or as wee use to say, bring him to the Gallows. So that too much lenity, may prove the greatest cruelty in the issue. An Antient Father in the Church relates a sad story of a youth,Gregor. Dial. l. 4. cap. 18. whose usual custome it was upon auy thing that crossed him, to curse and blaspheme, and not being duly corrected for the same, hee continued in that wicked course to his dying-day; and as the story noteth, the Devil was seen to carry him away. But herein two extreams are carefully to be avoided, viz. Lenity, and Severity. As Parents ought not to bee too indulgent towards their children, which was Elies fault for which, sore judgements befell both him and his children:Ephes. 6. 4. So neither should they be too severe in correcting their children,Col. 3. 21. as some are, having no respect either to the fault,Patres non oportet asperos esse circa fi…ios. Cyp. Testim. l. 3. cap. 71. age, or disposition of their children. Therefore the Apostle giveth this dehortation unto Parents, Not to provoke their children unto wrath.
VI. Another duty is, To bring up their children in some honest Calling, it being the ordinary means, as to prevent idleness, which is the bane of youth, so to inable them to live in the world, and to be serviceable to the Kingdome wherein they live. In the choice of a Calling, respect should be had, as to the childrens ability and fitness, so to their disposition and inclination, carefully observing to what Callings they are most disposed.
VII. To provide fit Matches and Marriages for their children, It being the means the Lord hath sanctified for the keeping their bodies chast and undefiled. This the Lord gave in commandement to his people of old, by his Prophet Ieremy, Jer. 29. 6.saying, Take Wives to your Sons, and give your Daughters to Husbands. In the choice of an Husband or Wife, the Parents ought to have greater respect to piety and prudence, th…n to wealth and riches, for thereby shall they procure much happiness to their children in their Marriages.