Christian Directions, Chapter 25
CHAP. XXV.
Of the Duties of Wives.
HAving shewed the Duties of Husbands in reference to their Wives, I come now to shew the Duties of Wives towards their Husbands.
As the main duty on the Husbands part was love, so the main duty on the Wives part is subjection; Ephes. 5. 22under which many particulars are comprised.
The subjection of the Wife to the Husband implieth two things.
1 That she acknowledge a superiority in her Husband.
2 That she put in practise such duties as doe issue and flow from the acknowledgement of that superiority.
I. The former is not only a duty, but the ground of all other duties whatsoever; for till the Wife be fully satisfied about the superiority of her Husband, no duty will be performed by her as it ought. Therefore Wives ought to learn this point in the first place, viz. That their Husbands are their superiours; which clearly appeareth,
1 By the order of Creation. The Man was first created, and thereupon had the Birth-right.Ius primog… turae.
2 By the institution of God, who said to the woman,Gen. 3. 16 Thy desire shall be subject to his, and he shall rule …ver thee,
3 By the names and titles given in Scripture to the Husband, 1 Pet. 3. 6which doe imply a superiority in him,Prov. 2. 17 as Lord, Guide, Head, &c.1 Cor. 11. 3 I grant indeed there is but a very little disparity, and small inequality between Husband and Wife, being both governours of the same Family, Parents of the same Children,1 Pet. 3. 7 and heirs together of the grace of life, yet God having so expresly appointed subjection on the Wives part, it ought to bee acknowledged.
II. As the Wife ought to acknowledge and yeeld a superiority in her Husband, so she ought to put in practice such duties as doe issue and flow from the acknowledgement thereof, which may be branched into three particulars.
1 Honour. This God requires of all inferiours towards their Superiours,Exod. 20. 12 in the fifth Commandement, and therefore is a duty incubent upon all Wives in reference to their Husbands, who are their superiours, as being their Lords, Guides, and Heads. This honour VVives ought to express,
1 By their inward esteem of their Husbands, accounting them worthy of honour for their place sake, because they are their Husbands, whether they be richer, or poorer; elder, or younger than selves.
2 By their outward respect, which they should manifest, both by their reverend carriage, and speech, giving them such title; as signifie superiority, and savour of respect.
2 Another Branch of the VVives subjection, is Meekness; which she ought to shew,
1 In a quiet taking of reproof from her Husband. As it is the Husbands duty to reprove his Wife upon just occasion, so it is her duty to take it with all meekness, and mildness; and to endeavour to amend and reform what is justly reproved. Yea, though the Husband should chance to reprove his VVife wrongfully (as even the best and wisest sometimes may doe) it will bee a part of wisedome in the wife, rather to take it meekly and patiently, than to break forth into passionate expressions; yet in such a case she may clear her own innocency, and shew her Husbands mistake; but if he will not beleeve her, or turn away from her, she ought to bear it with meekness and mildness.
2 In being willing to be advised by her Husband, and ready to follow his good advice; yet … the VVife hath a clearer sight, and seeth better than her Husband what God hath commanded, though she may not usurp authority over her Husband, 1 Tim. 2. 12yet shee may and must in all humility perswade and advise him to that which is good. And happy is that Husband (if hee can see his own happiness) in whose bosome the Lord hath laid so good a counsellor.
3 Another Branch of the VVives subjection is, Obedience; and indeed this is the principal part of that subjection which the Apostle requireth of VVives to their Husbands,Ephes. 5. 22. Wives submit your selves unto your own husbands. And the Apostle Peter commands this duty unto VVives,1 Pet. 3. 6 by the example of Sarah, who obeyed Abraham.
Now Sarahs obedience to Abraham was eminent in two things especially.
1 In doing what he required of her; for when on a sudden there came three men to Abraham, Gen. 18. 6and he was desirous to entertain them, he bid his VVife make such and such provision with all possible speed, and accordingly she did.
2 In forbearing to doe any thing without his consent. Though Sarah was highly provoked by Hagar, who despised her Mistris, yet would she not deal roughly with her, much less turn her out of doors, till she had her Husbands consent, who said unto his wife, Doe to thy Maid as it pleaseth thee. Gen. 16. 4, 6In like manner, should VVives manifest their obedience to their Husbands.
1 In a ready and willing doing of what their Husbands require of them.
2 In a forbearing to doe things which appertain to their Husbands authority, without their particular, or at least general consent. VVhen an Husband, from the experience hee hath of his VVives wisdome and faithfulness, giveth liberty unto her to doe what she pleaseth in the Houshold affairs, then the VVife may doe much without a particular consent from her Husband, but otherwise she shall doe well to forbear, unless upon good ground she is confident her Husband will not dislike the doing of such a thing.
For the kind of obedience which the VVife is to yeeld to the Husband,Eph…s. 5 22 the Apostle sets it down in two expressions, As unto the Lord, Col. 3. 18and in the Lord.
The former hints unto us,foreign that the VVives obedience must be a consciencious obedience, that is, in obedience to God, to his Ordinance and Commandement, who requireth it of them; so that it must be in conscience of the Ordinance of God, and in obedience to his command; and thus will their obedience to their Husbands be an acceptable service unto God. For as they releeve Christ in the Poor,Mat. 25. 40 who releeve them for Christs sake, so those VVives obey God in their Husbands, who obey them for Gods sake, I mean out of conscience to the ordinance and command of God.
The latter expression,foreign. in the Lord, hints unto us, that the Wives obedience must bee in all lawful commands, not extending to any thing against the VVill of God; so that if Husbands command any thing against the revealed VVill of God, their VVives are not bound to obey them: for their Husbands power is subordinate to the Power of God, and the subordinate power must ever yeeld to the supream power. And therefore if Wives shall out of respect to, or fear of their Husbands, yeeld obedience to any unlawful command, doing that which is evil, their Husbands command will be no good plea, much less sufficient excuse for them.