Christian Directions, Chapter 27
CHAP. XXVII.
Of Childrens Duties.
HAving shewed the Duties of Parents towards their Children, I come now to shew the Duties of Children in reference to their Parents, which may bee brought to three heads, viz. 1 Obedience. 2 Honour. 3 Gratitude.
I. Obedience, This is often pressed in Scripture as the main and principal duty of Children in reference towards their Parents. Their Obedience ought to bee expressed,
1 By a cheerful yeelding to their Precepts and Commands, readily doing what they require of them, and that for conscience sake, even to the command of God, who requireth this duty at their hands; for saith the Apostle, Children obey your Parents in all things, Col. 3. 20.for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. And again, Children obey your Parents in the Lord, Ephes. 6. 1.for this is right. In the former place,foreign. it is in all things. In the latter, it is in the Lord; whereby is implied, that Childrens Obedience must be in all things honest and lawful, agreeable to the Word of God; so that if their Parents should command them to do any thing contrary to the Word of God, they must therein obey God, and not their Parents. For children are no further bound to obey their earthly Parents, than may stand with obedience to God their heavenly Father.
2 Children ought to express their obedience to their Parents, in hearkning to their good instructions. It being the duty of Parents to instruct their children, it must needs be the duty of children to hearken unto, and to obey their good instructions, which Solomon much presseth upon children.Prev. 1. 8. My Son, saith hee, hear the instruction of thy Father, and forsake not the Law of thy Mother. Where hee doth not only command children to obey the wholesome instructions of their Fathers, but doth likewise infinuate, that they should not sleight and reject the advice of a Mother, because of the weakness of her sex. As children ought to hearken to the good instruction of their Parents in all things, so more especially in two things.
1 In the choice of their Callings.
2 In the choice of their Matches.
1 The former is commended in the Scripture by the approved practice of godly children,Gen. 28. 2. as of Iacob, Samuel, David, and others. And truly,1 Sam. 1. 28. in regard that Parents are the means of bringing up their children in the world,1 Sam. 17. 15. till they are fit for Callings, and that not without much care and cost, is it not most meet and just that their counsel and advice should be taken in the choice of their Calling, and course of life? And as in their Callings, so likewise in their Marriages, and not to marry without their consent, which the very light of nature teacheth, and God himself commandeth, when hee layeth a charge upon Parents,Deut. 7. 3. to give their Daughters to Husbands, and to take Wives for their Sons, which doth necessarily imply,Filli sine consensu parentum ritè & jure nubere non possunt. Tertul. ad uxor. lib. 2. that children ought not to take unto themselves Wives or Husbands without, especially against their Parents consent. Such Marriages have by the Fathers of the Church been declared unlawful; yea and to be of no force till the Parents do ratifie them. And therefore such children as shall adventure to joyn themselves in Marriage without their Parents consent, how can they expect a blessing from God upon them? yea they have rather cause to fear the curse of God upon them, and their posterity. How did the curse of God fall upon Esau, and his posterity, because he married against the consent of his Parents, taking unto himself Wives, Gen. 26. 34, 35.which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and Rebeckah?
II. Another duty which children owe unto their Parents, is, Honour and Reverence. This the Lord in express terms requireth of all children in the fifth Commandement,Exod. 20. 12. Honour thy Father and thy Mother. This honour and reverence children must manifest,
1 By their modest silence before their Parents, not forward to speak in their presence without leave from them.
2 By their humble speeches, speaking unto them submissively and reverently, giving them fitting titles, as Father, Sir, and the like.
3 By their respective carriage, which they should shew by uncovering their heads, bowing their body, standing up before them, with the like. Ioseph, though highly advanced, yet when hee appeared before his Father with his two Sons,Gen. 48. 12. the text saith, Hee bowed himself with his face to the earth. Yea though his Father was blind through age, and therefore could not see what respect his Son shewed to him, yet notwithstanding he bowed to the very ground. And when Solomon heard of the approach of his Mother, the Text saith,1 K…g. 2. 19. Hee rose from the Throne to meet her, and bowed himself unto her, and set her at his right hand, and all this in token of his reverence, and to give good example unto others.
III. Another duty which children owe to their Parents, is Gratitude, a thankful requital of their love, and care, which the Apostle in express terms requireth of all children,1 Tim. 5. 4. namely, to requite their Parents, for that, saith hee, is good and acceptable before God. This requital may and ought to bee manifested seve…ral waies. As
1 By releeving them according to their need, if God give ability, Iosephs practise herein is set before us as a Pattern, who being in prosperity, and his Father in want, first sent him corn freely out of Aegypt, Gen. 42, 25and afterwards sent for him into Aegypt, and there furnished him plentifully with corn,Gen. 45. 9 and all other needful things; insomuch that the text saith,Gen. 47. 12 Ioseph nourished his father and brethren, and all his fathers houshold with bread; according to their families. And it is recorded of Ruth, that she did not only glean for Naomi her Mother in Law, but having food given her by Boaz servants for her refreshment,Ruth 2. 18 she reserved part thereof, and gave it to her mother. I have read of a Daughter, whose Father being sentenced to be famished to death,Val…r. Mar. and thereupon none being suffered to bring him Meat, she gave him suck with her own breasts. How blame-worthy then, yea and unnatural are such Children, whose Parents being poor, and themselves able to releeve them, doe notwithstanding … them to want things needful?1 Joh. 3. 17 Saint Iohn saith, That the l…ve of God dwelleth not in him who shutteth up his bowels of comp…ssion from his brother. How then can it dwell in that Child, who shutteth up his bowels of compassion against his own Father or Mother? who having not only a sufficiency, but also an affluency of worldly things, suffers his Parents to want necessaries?
2 By loving their Parents. And truly that love which Parents bear unto their Children, and have manifested by bringing them up in the world, should by the law of equity stirre up in Children a love to their Parents? for love deserveth love.
3 By concealing and covering their infirmities, which will evidence the truth of their love to their Parents, and procure Gods blessing upon them.Gen. 9. 22, 23 Shem and Iaphet we read were blessed for this, because they would not behold the nakedness of their Father, when being drunken he lay uncovered in his Tent; and Cham, for discovering and making known his Fathers nakedness, was cursed of God. As therefore Children would avoyd Chams curse, let them carefully shun Chams Sin, forbearing to blazen abroad their fathers infirmity.