Heaven Upon Earth, Declaration 13 – Declaration 14
XIII. Experiences of J. H.
MAny years ago I had ſome yernings after the truths of Jeſus Chriſt, and being in the Country, and hearing Mr. Young a Miniſter in Leiceſterſhire preach twice a day, the Word wrought ſo on my heart, that I took great delight to hear him; but being jeered by the people for a Peritan, I did leave off hearing for a time. And being in the Town near Mr. Young, ſometimes as I went abroad I met him, and Mr. Young would ask me whether I did know Jeſus Chriſt or not, and what I did think him to be, I told him that I had read in the Scriptures, and they held him out to be the Son of God, and that he came to ſeek and to ſave that which was loſt: Then ſaid Mr. Young unto me, why do you draw back in not coming to hear the Word; I told him, it was becauſe of the deridings of the people; I but ſaid. Mr. Young, you muſt perſevere, and hold on in a continuance; opening ſome Scriptures, as that of the Hebrews, that being once enlightened and having taſted the good word, and of the powers of the world to come, if that Soul ſhould fall away, then there would be nothing but a fearful looking for the fiery indignation of God. This did much trouble me, ſo that I was very fearful to be damned. Then Mr. Young did open that Scripture in 1 Theſſ. 1.4,5. You ſay that you know Jeſus Chriſt to be your Saviour, therefore take heed, for Jeſus ſhall appear in flaming fire, againſt all thoſe that know him not, nor obey not his Goſpel; This put me in great fear and horror, worſe than before. Then I did intreat Mr. Young to tell me, what the Goſpel was, and he bid me read in the firſt of Matth. and there it was this, that The Goſpel was the glad tidings to the ſhepherds, that it was the good will of God to ſend Jeſus Chriſt to ſave ſinners, whereof I did confeſs with the Apoſtle Paul, that I was chief. Mr. Young at parting gave me theſe Inſtructions, That I ſhould be very careful what company I did go into, and that I ſhould always remember my Creator in the days of my youth, and this was very freſh in my memory, and did ſtrengthen me very much againſt the temptations of Satan, and kept me from frequenting thoſe Companions that I did formerly uſe; and if at any time, I met them and heard their idle words, then this Scripture did often come into my mind, Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth, and did very much chear my ſpirits; and carry me along for many years, untill it pleaſed God to bring me to London, and coming to Black Fryers under the Miniſtry of Dr. Gouge, I was very much edified for two years together, but coming to live at VVeſtminſter, I did profit but little again, untill it pleaſed God to ſend Mr. Marſhal, and hearing of him ſpeaking out of Jeremiah 14. of the famine being in the outward man, but there was the famine of the Word of God at Weſtminſter, it made me very attentive to his Doctrine, he complaining what a barbarous place Weſtminſter had been, but now he did hope that the Word of God would take effect in the hearts of ſome of his Hearers, and truly ſo it did on my heart, for I was a conſtant hearer of him, and then going to a friends family, I heard them repeat the Notes that they had taken from Maſter Marſhal, and ſince I continued with that Company of Godly people; and now it is the deſire of my Soul to have fellowſhip with the Father and the Son, that my Soul may thrive in grace, and in the knowledge and great love of that God, that ſo loved the World, that he gave his Son to dye to ſave ſuch as I am, and that whoſoever comes to him ſhould not periſh but have eternal life; with whom I beſeech the Lord I may walk in a more cloſe way to the end of my life, than ever I have yet done.
J. H.
XIV. Experiences of T. P.
I Have had thoughts concerning my Spiritual condition, and made ſearch into my Soul touching my eſtate in relation to GOD; and what teſtimony I can find of my intereſt in and converſion to God. And I have found this to be the way of Gods working to bring me to himſelf, through his great mercy in the Lord Jeſus. It hath pleaſed God ever ſince I was born, to place me under the means of the Goſpel, the neglect whereof hath been a great trouble and grief unto my Soul; this with many ſins more, lay heavy upon my Conſcience, eſpecially ſome offence and wrong offered againſt the People of God, inſomuch that the terrors of Hell laid hold upon me, and I began with Cain to cry out, that my burthen was more than I was able to bear: I was a damned creature, I was ou… of the preſence and favour of God, and never like to ſee his face with comfort, ready with Judas to deſtroy my ſelf. I continued in thiis condition many years. But God of his exceeding mercy kept me from that great ſin, and at laſt I received ſome comfort, in that the Lord proclaimeth himſelf to be the Lord God, gracious, merciful, long-ſuffering, in forgiving ſins, and that he deſired not the death of a ſinner, but rather that he ſhould live. And again he ſaith, If our ſins were as Scarlet, he will make them as white as Snow or VVooll; Again, I am the Lord, and change not, therefore ye Sons of Jacob are not conſumed. Theſe with many other promiſes of Free Grace and Mercy yielded ſome comfort to my Soul, yet for a long time I was troubled; if I prayed, I feared my prayers were an abomination unto the Lord; at laſt knowing the Lord heard the Ninivites, that were Heathens, I thought he was as able to ſave my Soul. And it hath been my care to wait upon God in the means, knowing that Faith cometh by hearing the word, and upon all occaſions to ſearch my own heart, what part of the word belonged unto me, and what did not; I received ſome comfort from theſe promiſes, I will not break the bruiſed reed, nor quench the ſmoaking flax; Come unto me all ye that and weary and heavy laden, and I will give you reſt; and, He that cometh unto me I will in no wiſe caſt off. Theſe gracious promiſes, cauſe me to deſire to draw near to God in union, and in communion, with whom I hope for fellowſhip to all eternity.
T. P.