The Honor Due from Children, Chapter 5
CHAP. V. Of Honour of Obedience due to Parents.
NOw we come to the third branch of direct Honour of obedience due to parents.Honour, namely Honour of obedience; for ſo Honour is taken in Scripture as we ſhewed before.
Obſerve then as a third branch of the generall point, that children are to Honour their Parents with the Honour of obedience. Honour thy Father and Mother, ſaith Exod. 20. 12. but obeying them is Honouring of them, ſay other Scriptures (as we ſhewed, Chap. 1.) therefore children are bound to yield obedience to their Parents.
For the fuller handling of this particular, we ſhall inquire,
1. Wherein this Honour of filial obedience It conſiſteth,conſiſteth.
2. What manner of obedience it is which muſt be yielded.
3. Why children muſt yeeld it.1. In childrens being content to be ſet about meaneſt imployments.
4. What uſe is to be made of this branch of Honour of Parents.
To the firſt I anſwer, that filial obedience conſiſteth,
1. In childrens being content to be ſet about meaneſt imployments, even as though they were ſervants, their Parents ſo requiring it, hence that Mal. 3. 17. his ſon which ſerveth him. Neither Rebekah, nor Rachel, though of able Parents, thought much to keep their Fathers ſheep, Gen. 24. and Chap. 29. neither did Chriſt himſelf refuſe to be ſubject to his Parents in their meaner imployments, Luke 2. 51. Matth. 13. 55. his reputed Father Joſeph, was a Carpenter, of a very mean Trade: hence that, Is not this the Capenters Son? but Mark. 6. 3. theſe neighbours and Countreymen of Chriſt, as man, who had moſt cauſe to note his uſuall imployments, they ſay of him, Is not this the Carpenter, the Son of Mary? ſurely then he learned and commonly practiſed that mean Trade with his reputed Father, and ſo was therein alſo ſubject to his Father and Mother. Look as Gods children, yea look as Jeſus Chriſt himſelf, the pattern of all true filial obedience to Parents, refuſed not to ſtoop to the meaneſt offices and ſervices, in obedience to the Father of Spirits: ſo muſt children carry it in like ſort to their Parents. All know how many mean and deſpicable offices Parents do about their children, whileſt babes and little ones, and when ſick, &c. And there is no cauſe for any childe to think much of the meaneſt office and ſervice, which Parents may call for from their hands. Parents Authority is of no mean deſcent, the riſe or originall of it is from God: even the greatneſs of the greateſt in other reſpects, doth not alter, much leſs make null, filial relations. If any be aſhamed of the Lords words, of him will he be aſhamed another day, Mark. 8. 38. Now this, Children obey your Parents in the Lord, (according to the Lords will and word) is one of the Lords words, Eph. 6. 1. Let none therefore be aſhamed of obedience to Parents in meaneſt 2. In their being content to be croſſed in their wills.things.
2. In Childrens being content to be croſſed in their own deſires or wayes, and to yeeld to and obey Parents minds and wils, in matters lawfull, although the particulars ſeem to be very harſh to their own ſenſe or reaſon, as in that inſtance, Gen. 48. 17. At firſt it diſpleaſed Joſeph to ſee his Father lay his right hand upon Ephraims head, and he held up his Fathers hand to remove it to Manaſſes his head, and v. 18. Joſeph ſaid, not ſo my Father, for this is the firſt born, put thy right hand upon his head, v. 19. And his Father refuſed, and ſaid: I know my Son, I know it, he alſo ſhall become great, but his brother ſhall be greater then he. And ſo he gave Ephraim the yonger Son the priority in his bleſſing; and Joſeph ſaid no more, but reſted ſatisfied therein. If Jacobs Sons are injoyned by their Father to feed their flock even in Shechem, in the very mouth of danger, by reaſon of the late ſlaughter of the Shechemits by their hands, yet they are contented with it, and do not mutter, or object againſt it, Gen. 37. 14. nor do they object againſt the hazzards of that long Journey into Egypt, but if required by their Father to go, they contentedly obey, Gen. 42. 23: It was contrary to dictates of fleſh, and blood, and reaſon, for Iſaac to yeeld to be offered up in Sacrifice by his Father, but it was firſt no doubt made known to him by his Father to be Gods mind, and ſeconded by his Fathers command, and he quietly yeeldeth to his Father therein, Gen. 22. 9, 10. So in caſe of a daughters vow unto the Lord, in ſomething which is lawfull, and which ſhe earneſtly deſireth ſhould be done before the Lord, if the vow be not heard by her father when it was made, and after diſſallowed by her Father, God will have her, even in this caſe, to ſit down contentedly, reſigning her will to her Fathers, although ſhe cannot perform what ſhe vowed and deſired, and God himſelf paſſeth it by, becauſe it was not her Fathers mind, that ſhe ſhould perform it, Gen. 30. 5. Gods children are a pattern to mens children herein, who reſign and ſubmit their will to his will; children are to look at good Parents, as Gods Oracles unto them, ſuch, by means of whom he imparteth his counſell to them, and maketh wiſer then themſelves, in matters reſpecting their occaſions and changes. Obedience to Parents, in this way, is to be as to Superiours, yea as to the mind and Authority of the higheſt, in their mandates; which alſo is implied in that ſpeech, Eph. 6. 1. Children obey Parents in the Lord, yea even in all things, as is expreſſed, Col. 3. 20. namely which are meet and lawfull: ſo to obey them, it is welpleaſing to God, albeit in doing of it, children oft diſpleaſe themſelves. David is blamed, that he never diſpleaſed Adonijah his Son, 1 King. 1. 5, 6. ſurely then Adonijah had been too blame, if he had not yeelded to his Fathers mind, in things diſpleaſing to himſelf.
3. In yeedling eſpccially to Parents minds in the matter of marriage. So Iſaac matcheth with Rebekah, 3. In marrying according to good Parents minds.according to his Fathers mind, Gen. 24 6, 7. 63. compared; So Jacob marrieth Labans daughter, according to the mind of his Parents, Iſaac and Rebekah, Gen. 28. 1, 2, 3. compared with Chap. 29. the like was done by many others mentioned in Scripture.
4. in obeying chiefly in things of God, as injoyned 4. In obeying in things of God.to children, in Gods name, by their Parents; whether reſpecting the knowledge of God in Chriſt, mortification, or in any other means, or parts of the ſouls welfare. In which eſpecially Solomons Son muſt keep his Fathers Commandement, and not forſake the Law of his Mother, Prov. 6. 20. and 1 Kings 2. 3. David chargeth Solomon his Son, to keep the charge of the Lord his God, & to walk in his ways, & Ch. 3. 3. Solom. loved the Lord, walking in the ſtatutes (or according to the ſtatutes and commands) of David his Father. David charged him alſo with all the work of Gods Temple, which he duly and diligently performed, 1 Chro. 22. 11. build the houſe of the Lord thy God, which he hath ſaid of thee; and he did ſo, as 2 Chr. 5. and cap. 6. ſheweth; if Abraham command his children, the Lord concludeth they ſhall keep the way of the Lord, as in that place oft referred to, Gen. 18. 19. I know Abraham that he will command his children, and they ſhall keep the way of the Lord. Hence Joſhuah is ſo confident of his houſe, and ſo of his children, Joſh. 24. 15. but I and my houſe, we will ſerve the Lord: he requiring it of them, he is confident that they will do it. Jonadabs poſterity, in living ſo in Tents, like pilgrims and ſtrangers, in refuſing to drink wine, or ſtrong drink, they lived a mortified life, a weaned life from the world, but they did it becauſe ſo injoyned by their Father Jonadab, and ſo by their next Parents ſucceſſively; as we ſee in that place oft, occaſionally, referred to in this diſcourſe, 1 Jer. 35. 6, &c. In ſuch a way God as a Father is eſpecially honoured, and no wonder that there is his ſecret bleſſing and grace conferred, to inable to ſuch like obedience to Parents commands. As in Gen. 18. 19. now mentioned, Abraham will command his children, and they ſhall walk in the way of the Lord. It ſtrengthens the bond of childrens obedience to Parents commands, when Parents ſhew ſuch ſoul-love to children, and intire love, and faithfulneſs to God, as to improve their parentall Authority thus for God; which is alſo included in that ſpeech, Eph. 6. 1. Obey your Parents in the Lord: eſpecially injoyning what the Lord requireth.
5. In childrens yeelding humbly, meekly and 5. In ſubmiſſion to parents juſt corrections.quietly to Parents juſt reproofs and corrections, Heb. 12. 9. The Fathers of our fleſh corrected us and we gave them reverence, even in way of awfull ſubjection to them therein; whence this is added, ſhall we not much more be in ſubjection to the Father of Spirits and live? for what are ſuch actings of Parents, but fruits of their obedience to God their Fathers eommands? who chargeth, Prov. 19. 18. Chaſten thy Son, while there is hope, and Prov. 23. 13. withhold not correction from the child, and v. 14. thou ſhalt beat him, and Prov. 29. 17. Correct thy Son, and he ſhall give thee reſt; yea they are fruits o… Parents love to their children, Heb. 12. 6, 7. Prov. 13. 14. he that loveth his Son, chaſteneth him betimes. What are they but Gods ordinance, and appointed means to reſcue children from ſin and ruin? Prov. 23. 13. if thou beateſt him, he ſhall not die. v. 14. thou ſhalt beat him, and deliver his ſoul from Hell. Prov. 22. 15. fooliſhneſs is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction ſhall drive it out. Prov. 29. 15. the rod and reproof give wiſdome, but a child left to himſelf bringeth his Mother to ſhame: and in a word, it would be greateſt folly and danger to Children, not to yeeld, and obedientially to hearken to ſuch rebukes. Prov. 15. 8. A fool deſpiſeth his Fathers inſtruction, and v. 10. Correction is grievous to him that forſaketh the way: and v. 32. He that refuſeth inſtruction, deſpiſeth his own ſoul.
To the ſecond query, with what manner of This obedience muſt beobedience are children to obey Parents: I anſwer more briefly.
1. With a kind of univerſall and unlimited obedience 1. Univerſall.falling under the compaſs of lawfull things: ſo Col. 3. 20. Children obey your Parents in all things, one as well as another, being all lawfull: there is no exception, or limitation made.
2. With a Sedulous obedience: Phil. 2. 22. Paul 2. Sedulous.alluding to this, ſaith of Timothy, as a Son with the Father he hath ſerved with me in the Goſpel, i. e. very diligently: ſo Jacobs ſons followed their Fathers buſineſs diligently, ſparing no pains to remove their flock hither, and thither, for his beſt advantage, Gen. 37. 17.
3. With a ready and cheerfull obedience. Gen. 3. Cheerfull.37. 13. Come, I will ſend thee to thy brethren, ſaith Jacob to Joſeph; here am I ſaith Joſeph, he is as ready to do it, as his Father to command it. So in a like caſe David injoyned by his Father Jeſſai, 1 Sam. 17. 20. He ariſeth early in the morning, and leaving his ſheep with a keeper, he took and went as Jeſſai had commanded. Gen. 42. 2. Get you down into Egypt to buy us corn, ſaith Jacob to his Sons, v. 3. And Joſephs ten brethren went down to buy corn in Egypt, and Chap. 47. 31. ſwear unto me, ſaith Jacob to Joſeph, and he ſware unto him: ſuch ready obedience yeelded they to their Father.
4. With a reſolute obedience. Children are not 4. Reſolute.to be diverted from lawfull obedience to Parents, either by frowns, or flattering perſwaſions of others: if Jeremiah a man of God, will ſet before Rechabs Sons pots of wine, and bid them drink it, Jer: 35. 5. ſuch a tempting and trying of them, will not prevail with them, verſ. 6. but they ſaid, we will drink no wine; for Jonadab the Son of Rechab, our Father, commanded us ſaying, you ſhall drink no wine, neither you nor your Sons for ever.
5. With a conſcientious obedience, namely to 5. Conſcientious.parentall Authority as of God, and as to Gods command requiring it of you to Honour Father and Mother, with ſuch Honour of obedience; and injoyning children to obey their parents in all tbings, Col. 3. 20.
To the ſecond query, why children muſt give Reaſons of it.this Honour of obedience to Parents, I anſwer alſo briefly: they muſt do it,
1. Becauſe it is pleaſing to God; Gal. 3. 20. 1. It is welpleaſing to God.Children obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleaſing to the Lord. Its an incouragement to children, to do ſuch or ſuch things for Parents, when they know it will pleaſe them very well: but moſt of all when they underſtand, that God himſelf is well pleaſed therewith. God himſelf is very well pleaſed with filiall obedience to Parents, as ſeeing therein his own Image of Fatherhood Honoured; his own authority and command requiring this, attended and Honoured, and a ready way hereby made in children to all other obedience to the Lord himſelf: And who would not endevour that they might thus, at once, Crown the Lord himſelf, and their Parents, with their due Honour, and be crowned, not ſo much with parentall, as divine acceptance?
2. Becauſe this is right, or juſt, or meet, Eph. 2. It is juſt and right.6. 1. Children obey your Parents in the Lord, for this is right: in the Greek it is foreign, juſt, due by the Law of God, of nature, and of nations: Its a due debt: children owe obedience to their Parents as a debt, and muſt be paying it all their dayes. Children who have received their whole man ſoul and body, inſtrumentally from their Parents, ow the ſervice of both, in an obedientiall way to their lawfull commands. Its not a matter of liberty, or curteſie, but due debt, which is daily due to be paid in part. Juſtice which requireth to give every other perſon his due, requieth children to give Parents alſo their due, of which this is part, even filiall obedience.
3. Becauſe manifold bleſſings and benefits do 3. Many bleſſing attend it.attend due and true filial obedience unto Parents. Children obey your parents in the Lord, Eph. 6. 1. & v. 2. Honour thy Father and thy Mother, and v. 3. that it may be well with thee, and that thou maiſt live long on earth. Giving this Honour of filiall obedience, as it is a means of long life, as Prov. 4. 4. 10. Keep my Commandements, ſaith David to Solomon, and live, and verſ. 10. Hear O my Son, and receive my ſayings, and the years of thy life ſhall be many: and as it is a means of bodily health, Pro. 4. 22. Parents lawfull and gracious commands obſerved by Children, are health to all their fleſh: and ſickly times often befall the yonger ſort, as here with us, where filiall obedience and obſervance is too much wanting: But I ſay beſides, that the Apoſtle inlargeth the benefit thereof in that expreſſion, that it may be well with thee, namely not alone in matter of bodily health, but in that of name alſo, of eſtate, of family relations, of perſonall callings and occaſions, of generall calling as Chriſtians, and as members of the Church: yea alſo in thoſe ſpirituall matters of their ſouls in the things and comforts of God and of his word, and ſeals and ſervices, &c. The way to have body and ſoul to do well and proſper, yea the way to have God himſelf ſhining and ſmiling upon children, to have Gods bleſſing upon childrens reading, hearing and meditating of the word, to have God anſwering even their prayers, to have God ordering all things for good to them which befall them, to have God to be with them, and bleſs all they do take in hand, to do well by them in life and death; is to yeeld due and true obedience to Parents. Prov. 15. 5. is verified in obedientiall hearkning to Parents counſels or rebukes: the eare that heareth reproof, abideth among the wiſe. It is amonſt the number of them, elſe that care or perſon would not hearken, but which is more, it abideth among them, ſuch an one doth not apoſtatize from the company and condition of perſons truly wiſe. I fear, if the bottom of the Apoſtaſie of many promiſing profeſſors now a daies were ſearched into, this would be found there, they were, or are diſobedient children to their parents, but as for the obedient, God is ſo well pleaſed with them, that he thinks he can never deal well enough with them.
Now in the third place, we ſhall make uſe of 1. Uſe of reproof of childrens.this branch, even of ſiliall obedience, the uſe whereof ſerveth, 1. For reproof, and that firſt of children.
1. Of ſuch who in ſhew expreſs obedience to 1. Pretended obedience.your Parents commands, but in reality do it not; like the Son in the Parable, who when bid by his Father, to go and work in his Vineyard, he ſaith, I go Sir, but went not: Matth. 21. 30. Or if you do any thing, which for the matter of it is injoyned by your Parents, yet formally and properly its not filial obedience, but rather yeelding obedience to ſome luſt of your own, which biddeth you do ſuch and ſuch things wch Parents enjoyn. As when a covetous luſt will put you on to do your Fathers will and work, that you may have the gain of it, or the like: or if you do at length what Parents require in a better manner, yet it may abaſe you, that you did it not more readily, and ſeaſonably, you firſt were too diſobedient in your carriage, like the Son in the parable, that ſaid at firſt he would not, Matth. 21. 28, 29. Afterward indeed he repented and went, and ſo at laſt did the will of his Father. But it was to him, and by proportion ſhould be to you, a ground of penitent ſhame and ſorrow, that at firſt you were ſo diſobedient.
2. Of ſuch children who are plainly diſobedient 2. Diſobedience to parents.to your Parents, and perſiſt in it, or at leaſt continue too long in it, without repentance for the ſame. Some there are, that when their Parents do even ſtoop ſomewhat below themſelves, and not command ſo much, as intreat them to do this or that lawfull thing at their requeſt, yet will boldly deny their parents deſires, like the Elder Son in the Parable, who when his Father commeth out to him, and intreateth him to come in, will not come in, Luk. 15. 28, 29. Some when their Parents would have them of an honeſt calling, or courſe of life, as more fit for that, and ſuch as may be more ſerviceable to God and men in it, yet will not be ruled, no they muſt take to ſome other courſe, that their fooliſh hearts like better, or elſe their Parents cannot be in quiet: like Adonijah, that contrary to God and his Father Davids mind, would needs be a King, when yet he was no way fitted for it, 1 King 1. Some will like thoſe in Gen. 6. 2. be matching, but as themſelves only fooliſhly fanſie, and Parents cannot be at reſt for them, but they muſt needs have ſuch a one, like Sampſon, Judg. 14. 2. He came and told his Father and Mother, ſaying, I have ſeen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philiſtins, now therefore get her for me to wife: and when his Parents wiſely and faithfully replyed, verſ. 3. Is there never a daughter among all my people, that thou goeſt to take a wife of the uncircumciſed Philiſtins? Sampſon ſaith to his Father, get her for me, for ſhe pleaſeth me, or, is right enough in mine eyes. Some children are grown to ſuch an height of diſobedience, as they are grown ſtubborn, reſolute & wilful in their diſobedience, they are long habituated in it, they will not now be counſelled, commanded, reproved, or corrected by Parents; they are above that, they are paſt that, they will be no longer curbed, or controlled, not they, by Mother or Father either: but little do you conſider what a black brand you do carry herein, upon your ſelves, of your reprobation, and as a token thereof of your judiciall hardening. It was ſaid of Eſau, Eſau have I hated, (or in my counſell rejected) Rom. 9. and what a grief of mind, was he to his Parents, by diſobedient carriage in his matches? Gen. 26. When God hath a mind to ruinate Elies Sons, as men of Belial, whom he abhorred, 1 Sam. 2. 25. Its ſaid, they hearkened not to the voyce of their Father (they would on in their courſe, ſay the old man, what he will to the contrary) becauſe the Lord would ſlay them. Their counſels, commands, checks, rebukes, yea and corrections too are not hearkened to but all ſlighted, to make way for the fatall ruin of children devoted and deſtinated to ſaddeſt ends, either by the hand of ſome enemies, as in the caſe of Hophni and Phineas, 1 Sam. 2. 25. compar'd with Chap. 4. 11. or by the hand of civill juſtice, as Deut. 21. 20, 21. they bring out their ſtubborn Son, that will not be ruled by them, and he is ſtoned to death: ſometimes by ſome more immediate hand of God, as that diſobedient yong man, which would none of the voyce of his teachers, parents, or others, he hated their reproofs, &c. He is ſmitten by dreadfull horror of conſcience inwardly: whence that dolefull mourning at laſt, when it is too late, Prov. 5. 11, 12, 13. and with lothſome diſeaſes outwardly, he even rotteth above ground, and pineth away, his fleſh and body is conſumed: ibid. And hence we might give inſtances of very dreadfull examples of the lives and deaths of ſtubborn and diſobedient children: and what other can be expected when they are in that black rowl of perſons given up of God to a reprobate mind, Rom. 1. 28. He gave them up to a mind void of judgement, to do thoſe things which are not convenient, being filled with all unrighteouſneſs, v. 29, &c. diſobedient to parents, v. 30.
2. It ſerveth to reprove parents, who any way 2. Of parents occaſioning childrens diſobedience. 1. By abuſing their Authority.occaſion diſobedience in children.
1. By abuſing their authority in giving out unjuſt commands to them, which the more provoketh and exciteth them to reject your authority, even in lawfull commands: ſuch a parent was Laban, who put Leah his daughter upon that unlawfull courſe of deceiving her ſiſters ſpouſe of his expected conjugall communion, and defiling her ſelf and him by it, Gen. 29. 23. ſuch a Parent was Saul, who would have his daughter break her conjugal covenant with David, and betake her ſelf to an adulterous bed with Phalti, 1 Sam. 25. 44. ſuch a parent was Herodias, who enjoyneth her daughter to make that bloody ſalvage requeſt, for John Baptiſts head, Matth. 14. 8.
2. By your own rebellion againſt Gods commands, 2. By thelr rebellion againſt God.for which God in judgement leaveth children to be rebellious againſt you; as in the caſe of David, & Abſalom, 2 Sam. 12. 9. thou haſt deſpiſed the Commandement of the Lord, v. 10. Now therefore the ſword ſhall not depart from thy houſe, v. 11. I will raiſe up evill againſt thee out of thine houſe, and fulfilled in Abſaloms open rebellion, 2 Sam. 13.
3. By being too indulgent to them, when you 3. By ſinfull indulgenceperceive your children do not follow your charge in this or that particular: This made Hophni and Phineas the worſe, that their Father Eli was ſo over indulgent to them, 1 Sam. 2. Hence Eli is blamed for it—ye have kicked at my ſacrifice (ſaith God to Eli) Prov. 29. 15. the rod and reproof giveth wiſdome, but a child left to himſelf (without ſeaſonable reproof, or correction for his faults) bringeth his Mother to ſhame, namely by his deſperate folly and diſobedience: as the oppoſition of the later part of this proverb to the former ſheweth.
A ſecond uſe ſerveth for diſcovery, whether A ſecond uſe is for examination. Marks of due obedience to parents. 1. If in way of repenting for former diſobedience.children in that relation of children, did, or now do come up to that filial obedience required in the fifth Commandement; which is known to be ſo,
1. If in way of cordiall repenting for any former expreſſions of diſobedience to Father or Mother, you did, or now do the rather, and the more obey your Parents injunctions. Like that Son in the Parable, Ma…. 21. 29. who repenting of that ſtubborn anſwer to his Father, in ſaying, when he bade him go, that he would not, but after he repented and went, and verſ. 31. this of the two Sons, was he that did the will of his Father: or like the Prodigall Son, who in way of repenting of his ſin againſt his Father, and againſt heaven, now offers his utmoſt ſervice to him, which he ſhall injoyn him, and that in the meaneſt way of ſervice, Luk. 15. 18, 19, 21. The Son ſaid to his Father, Father, I have ſinned againſt heaven, and in thy ſight, and am no more worthy to be called thy Son, make me as one of thy hired ſervants.
2. If when you are tempted to diſobey your parents 2. If obeying when tempted to the contrary.commands, yet you overcome the temptations, & obey your parents lawfull injunctions notwithſtanding, as the Rechabites, though urged to drink wine by Jeremi the Prophet, yet would not, & that in obedience▪ to Rechabs command, or becauſe he had charged his Sons ſucceſſively to look that they drank no wine, Jer. 35. 5, 6.3. If doing it in matters unpleaſing to the fleſh.
3. If you that are children, in the relation of children, obey your Parents command, in matters unpleaſing to fleſh and blood, and which croſs you in matters of carnall delights, preferments, profits, or eaſe, and which rather tend to mortification of the luſts of youth, to holy weanedneſs from the world, &c. thus it was with the injunctions firſt of Rechab to his next ſons, who obſerved his command themſelves, and left the ſame upon their next children, and they again upon theirs ſucceſſively, unto the very time of Jeremiah, that they ſhould live like ſtrangers and pilgrims, in tents; forbearing the uſe of carnall delights, &c.
4. If Children are habituated in a way of filial 4. If habituated in it.obedience to your Parents lawfull commands. It is not ſome ſingle act that way, nor ſome ſuddain pang, and fit of obedience, but like that of obedient Rechabites laſting all your dayes.
5. If in that relation of children, you do ſo wel reliſh 5. If propagating it to their children.filial obedience, that you endevour to propagate conſcientious filiall obedience to your poſterity, when you are Parents. So did theſe good Rechahites propagate filial obedience from Jehues time to Joſiahs.
6. If you are filially obedient to parents lawfull 6. If doing it …o parents in meaner conditions.injunctions, when your parents are in a far meaner eſtate, than you your ſelves are, Gen. 47. 12. Jacob was as one nouriſhed by his Son Joſeph, who was next to Pharaoh in place and honour, yet Joſeph is as obedient to his Fathers command, as ever, when at home under his Fathers tuition, v. 31. ſwear now to me, ſaith Jacob to Joſeph, and be ſware to him. Mordecai was to his couſen Heſter, as a Father to bring her up after her own Fathers death, Eſt. 2. 7. Eſter is made great Ahaſuerus his Queen, v. 16. and v. 20. Eſter did the commandement of Mordecai, like as when ſhe was brought up with him.
A third uſe is for exhortation. 1. To Parents.Third uſe of exhortation. 1. To parents to. further this due obedience: as, 1. By their own repentance and peace made with God.
Do you ſo carry it as that you may every way further this honour of obedience due to you from your children; for which end,
1. Make your peace with God through faith in Jeſus Chriſt, and exerciſe of repentance, in regard of any former wayes of your diſobedience to God, or unto parents, ſo far as you are privy and conſcious to your ſelves thereof, Job 22. 21. Acquaint thy ſelf with God, and be at peace with him, thereby good ſhall come to thee: what good? it followeth, v. 23. If thou return to the Almighty, thou ſhall be built up, (not only ſtored with eſtate again, but with children, as Ruth. 4. 11. Rachel and Leah built up Iſraels houſe; or filled it with a numerous poſterity) and thou ſhalt put away iniquity from thy Tabernacle, or houſhold, children, or ſervants, ſo Job 11. 14. Let not wickedneſs dwell in thy Tabernacle, that is not alone with thy ſelf in particular, but not with any children, or ſervants in thy houſe; ſo that Job acquainting himſelf with God in the Meſiah, and repenting, ſhall not only have a numerous family of children reſtored to him, but when he hath them, ſhall remove the iniquity of children alſo, in their relation, (as is diſobedience and irreverence, &c.) as well as that from himſelf, in his, or his ſervants, as theirs.
2. Be you exemplary in wayes of filial obedience, 2. By being examples of filial obedience to parents.and obſervance of your parents: David did not alone teach Solomon filial obedience, as Solomon ſaith of him, Prov. 4. 3, 4. I was my Fathers Son, and he taught me alſo ſaying, keep my Commandements and live, but v. 10, 11. He records other words of his Father, ſaying thus, I have taught thee in the way of wiſdome, and ſo in this of filiall obedience, as verſ. 4. I have led thee in the right paths: and how obedient a Son Solomon proved, let his works declare, in his exact obſerving all his Fathers mind, in that of building and furniſhing of the Temple, 1 Chro. 22. and Chap. 29. with 2 Chro. 5. and 6. and in that ſolemn charge of his to him, touching exemplary juſtice upon Joah and Shimei, 1 King 2. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. which he accordingly executed, v. 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36. 44, 45, 46. and in the great charge of his Father, to keep the Lords charge, &c. v. 3. and Chap. 3. 3. Solomon loved the Lord, walking in the ſtatutes of David his Father. The Rechabites parents, which firſt yeelded filial obedience to their Father Rechab, and taught their children practically as well as preceptively filiall obedience, had a poſterity ſucceſſively by that means of parents doing the like from parent to child, famous ſome ages after for filiall obedience.3. By inuring children to obedience to God.
3. Inure your children to wayes of obedience unto the Lord, & be you frequently curbing their diſobedience to Gods commands. Abraham who was famous for the Lords atteſtation of his care to improve his authority this way, in laying his command upon his houſhold, to walk in the way of the Lord, Gen. 18. 19. as he had an obedient houſhold of his ſervants in the relation of a maſter, Gen. 14. 23, 24. Not one of them offers to plunder to the worth of a ſhooe-latchet, Abraham having vowed to the contrary; ſo had he as obedient a child to him, in the relation of a Father, who laid down his neck to the very block, is willingly bound to become Gods ſacrifice at his Fathers command, Gen. 22. 9, 10. Jonadab who laid the weight of his parentall authority, upon his children, in matters ſavouring of an heavenly, weaned, and mortified Spirit, had a moſt obedient poſterity. Parents are injoyned to lay out the weight of thelr authority this way, Deut. 32. 46. You ſhall command your children to do all the words of this Law. This was Davids practice, 1 Chro. 28. 9. And thou Solomon my Son, know thou the God of thy Father, and ſerve him with a perfect heart, &c. And ſo 1 King. 2. 3. and Prov. 4. 5, 6, 7. he ſaid to me, get wiſdome, get underſtanding, &c. Joſ. 24. 25. I and my houſe will ſerve the Lord: Joſuah dareth undertake it, God hath given Joſuah experience, what parentall and maſterlike commands alſo can do that way, to bring them under obedience and ſervice to the Lord, and ſo to him alſo as a Father of the Family, injoyning, and requiring ſuch ſerving of God.
4. Uſe holy wiſdome in giving your parentall 4. By uſing pathetical words in giving out commands to them.commands to your children, namely in the moſt moving expreſſions, which may help on affectionate attendance and obſervance thereof: thus good Bathſhebah, when ſhe would draw Solomon to follow her gracious directions, even in his place of a King, to which he was devoted, ſee how ſhe circleth him with her pathetical expreſſions? Prov. 31. 1. &c. The prophecy which his Mother taught him, v. 2. What my Son! and what the Son of my womb! and what the Son of my vowes! hence that parentheſis in Jacobs charge to his Son Joſeph, Gen. 48. 7. And as for me, when I came from Padan Aram, Rachel (Joſephs deer Mother) died in the Land of Canaan, in the way, when yet there was but a little way to come to Ephrath, and I buried her there in the way of Ephrath, &c. He would in a holy wiſe, inſinuate, and get within Joſephs heart hereby, And then his eares and heart will be open to all he hath to give him in charge.
5. Do you readily yeeld to the juſt deſires even 5. By yeelding to childrens juſt deſires.of your children, and it will notably prevail with your children moſt readily to yeeld to any juſt commands of yours: As Caleb who giveth to his daughter Achsah the upper and nether ſprings at her requeſt, Iud. 1. 15. As it was good counſell given to that Father of the Common-weal, Rehoboam, 2 Chro. 10. 3, 4, 7. to be kind to his people, to pleaſe them, & ſpeak good words to them, in way of anſwer to their requeſt, and they would be his ſervants for ever. So is it in this caſe of Fathers of Families: wiſe and ſeaſonable condeſcendencies ſometimes in parents to children, It winneth their hearts, and ingageth them to conſtant obedience.
6. Do you alſo ſometimes hearken to the good 6. By hearkening ſometimes to childrens good advice.advice, which even your children do ſeaſonably, and in a ſuitable manner give to you, and this alſo will exceedingly win your childrens hearts to an obedientiall ſubmiſſion to your juſt commands. Thus did Terab, Abrahams Father, yeeld to Abrahams adviſe, in the matter of his remove from Ʋr, in Meſopotamia, to Haram, towards Canaan, as Act. 7. 1, 2, 3, 4. compared with Gen. 11. 31, 32. and 12, 1. ſheweth. So did Rahabs parents follow her advice; they repaired to her houſe when Jericho was beſieged by Joſuah, and being there, they ſtirred not out of dores, according as the ſpies had Counſelled Rahab her ſelf, to look that it might be ſo done, Joſh. 2. 18, 19. compared with Chap. 6. 23.2. Exhortation to Children to yeeld ſuch obedience.
2. This uſe ſerveth for exhortation to Children, that you would be ſtirred up to the duty of honour of filiall obedience to your parents: elſe all other outward expreſſions of reſpect to them, are but bare Complements: this is in ſpeciall ſort a reall honouring of them. As it is in the children of God in reference to their heavenly Father. It is more than all formalities of offering ſacrifices to him, or the like: as he ſaid to Saul, 1 Sam. 15. 22. Behold, to obey is better then ſacrifice, and to harken then the fat of Ramms. As the contrary, diſobedience is as iniquity and Idolatry, verſe 23. So is it in the caſe of the Children of men; their obedience to Parents is all in all; their diſobedience and ſtubborneſſe to Parents is vileſt iniquity.
Now the better to further Children in giving this honour of filial obedience, we ſhall Motives to obedience to Parents.propound 1. Some motives. 2. Some helps to it. As for motives thereunto, let it be conſidered,
1. That the Lord himſelf doth highly honour ſuch as honour their parents, by honour of obedience, 1. God and Men honour ſuch as yeeld it.and he ordereth for them ſpeciall honour from others, Prov. 1. 8, 9. The inſtruction of a Father, and the Law of a Mother harkened unto, (he ſaith) ſhall be an ornament to a Sons head, and as precious chaines about his neck, a badg and pledg of honour in the eyes of his people, Prov. 13. 18. He that hearkneth to reproof (of a Parent eſpecially) ſhall be honoured. Hence God cauſeth ſo honourable a Record to be kept, in Scripture, of the Acts of obedience to Parents, in Iſaac, Jacob, Joſeph, and others: Memorable is that, Jer. 35. 18, 19. Where God chargeth Jeremiah to tell the Rechabites, Becauſe you have obeyed the commandement of Jonadab your Father, and kept all his precepts, and done according to all that he hath commanded you; therefore thus ſaith the Lord, the God of Iſrael, Jonadab the Son of Rechab ſhall not want a man to ſtand before me for ever: namely ſo long as that ſtate and Church of Judah ſhould ſtand, as they ſhould not he rooted out, (as Jer 31. 36. There is the like phraſe, in a like ſenſe) ſo they ſhould be be honourably imployed, according to that phraſe in a like ſenſe, Jer. 33. 17, 18.
2. That the Lord ſometimes taketh occaſion 2. God manifeſteth great things to ſuch in ſuch a way.to manifeſt ſuch ſpeciall grace to children, whileſt in this way of filial obedience, as, either was not at all, or not in that meaſure ſhewed to them before: Obſervable is that in Jacob, whoſe journey to Padan Aram, is put upon the account of his filial obedience, even by his malicious Brother Eſau, Gen. 28. 7. now as he in his obediential way, journyed from Berſhebah towards Haran, v. 10, 11. there he ſeeth, the ladder ſet upon the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven, and behold, the Angels of God aſcending and deſcending upon it; and behold the Lord ſtood above it, and ſaid, I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Iſaac, thy Father, the land whereon thou lieſt will I give it to thee, and to thy ſeed, v. 12, 13. and verſ. 14. He promiſeth to multiply his ſeed, and that in him and his ſeed all the families of the earth ſhall be bleſſed, and verſ. 15. Behold I am with thee, ſaith God, and I will keep thee in all places whither thou goeſt, and will bring thee again to this land, for I will not leave thee, untill I have done that which I have ſpoken to thee of, and verſ. 16, 17. Jacob awoke, and ſaid, Surely the Lord is in this place, and I knew it not, this is none other then the houſe of God, this is the gate of heaven. Never had Jacob, that we finde, before this time ſo glorious a manifeſtation of the promiſed Meſſiah, to be God and man in one perſon, as that one Ladder with its top reaching to heaven, and its bottome on earth; to be as a bleſſed Medium and Mediator, by which God and Man, heaven and earth ſhould be joyned together, as by a Ladder ſet on earth, yet reaching up to heaven; to be he by whom the Angels miniſter unto us, and by whom all graces and ſpirituall bleſſings deſcend upon us, and our hearts and ſpirits, our prayers, praiſes, and other holy ſervices, yea, and our whole perſons one day, aſcend up to Heaven: Never had Jacob ſuch glorious promiſes of bleſſing upon him and his ſeed before; Never was he in ſuch a Corner of Heaven before: And who then would not be incouraged to filial obedience, and to be found in the way there of, wherein others have found more of God and Chriſt than ever before?
3. That Gods ſpeciall preſence and bleſſing 3. Gods ſpecial preſence and bleſſing is with ſuch.is with you in a way of filial obedience to your parents: ſo in this Scripture mentioned, Jacob had Gods gracious promiſe of his preſence with him, and preſervation of him, in all places whither he went, and that his ſeed with him ſhould be bleſſed.4. Promiſes made to children with their parents come by that meanes to be fulfilled.
4. That it tendeth to the ratification and accompliſhment of the promiſes made to you in your godly parents. As to Abrahams children in caſe of their obedience of his godly commands, Gen. 18. 19. I know Abraham, that he will command his Children and houſehold after him: And they (in obedience to his command) ſhall keep the way of the Lord, that the Lord may bring upon Abraham (even in his children after him) that which he hath ſpoken of him, even his promiſes reſpecting him and his ſeed. Deut. 32. 46. Set your hearts to all the words which I teſtifie among you this day, which you ſhall command your children to obſerve to do all the words of this Law, verſ. 47. For this is not a vain thing for you: becauſe it is your life, and through this thing you ſhall prolong your daies in the land which yee go to poſſeſs. Albeit God had made ſo many promiſes of their injoyment of Canaan, and many bleſſings of grace, protection, peace, and the plenty there upon them and their poſterity, yet the meanes of accompliſhment of all muſt be,
1. That parents themſelves muſt ſet themſelves to obey all Gods Commands.
2. They muſt lay their authority upon their Children, to require of them alſo obedience to all Gods Commands.
3. The Children, in obedience to their parents commands, under God, they muſt obſerve to do all the words of that Law. 1 King. 2. 1, 2, 3. David chargeth his Son Solomon ſaying, Keep the charge of the Lord thy God, to walk in all his waies, &c. that (by keeping this charge of God, as given in charge by me thy Father according to God) thou maieſt proſper in all thou doeſt, and verſ. 4. that the Lord may confirm his word which he ſpake concerning me, (namely in reſpect to my Children) ſaying, If thy Children take heed to their way to walk before me in truth with all their heart and ſoul, there ſhall not fail thee, ſaid he, a man on the throne of Iſrael.
5. That your examples of filial obedience, in 5. It will be a meanes of the like obedience in other Children.you, may be a meanes to work ſomewhat, at leaſt, upon other Children, yea, even upon diſobedient ones, as Jacobs did upon Eſau, Gen. 28. 6, 7, 8. He never conſidered his diſobedient courſe of matching with Canaanites againſt his parents minde: But when he ſaw that Iſaac his father had bleſſed Jacob, and ſent him away to Padan Aram, to take him a Wife from thence, and not to take a Wife of the Daughters of Canaan, and that Jacob obeyed his Father and Mother, and was gone to Padan Aram, and Eſau ſeeing the Daughters of Canaan pleaſed not Iſaack his father, verſ. 9. Then went Eſau to Iſhmael, and took Mahalath the daughter of Iſhmael, Abrahams Son to wife; Now he thought his matching thus unto the family of Abraham, might better pleaſe his Father, and ſo did it.
6. In that elſe, in a contrary way of diſhonour 6. The contrary will expoſe the very place where they are to Gods curſe.of parents, you will, what in you lieth, expoſe the very place where you are to Gods curſe. Hence that of Mal. 4. 6. It is propheſied, that by the preſence and bleſſing of God in John Baptiſts miniſtry, parents hearts which were ever alienated from their ſtubborn and wicked children, and theirs as much from their good parents, not induring to be at their Beck, the Children ſhall be ſo effectually changed to holy obedience to God, and them according to God, that the Children ſhall win parents hearts, and the parents ſhall have their Childrens hearts (leſt otherwiſe) I come, ſaith God, and ſmite the earth with a curſe: And oh that all Children would conſider this, & become obedient according to God, leſt otherwiſe God be provoked to blaſt and cruſh the very place where they are, as he is wont to blaſt that very place and country where diſhonour and diſobedience to parents becommeth the common and prevailing ſin thereof.
Now for the helps unto honour of filial obedience, Helps to it.they are ſuch as theſe,
1. Take heed of ſuch things as hinder filial obedience, and breed and feed ſtubborneſſe in you 1. Avoid all hinderances to it.to your parents; ſuch as ſelf-conceitedneſſe, ſelf-willedneſſe, over weaned conceit of what Children have formerly done at their Parents command, curioſity, diſcontent, ambition, envy at fellow Brethren and Siſters, bad company and counſell, poring upon parents meaneſſe, infirmities, failings, and the like, of which you may ſee more in the 2. Chapter, in the helps there propoſed to further Children in giving that honour in generall which is due to parents.
2. Labour to ſee the evils of your former diſobedient 2. See the evill of former diſobedience.carriages towards your parents, and to bewayle the ſame, and humbly to confeſs the ſame, as to God, ſo to your wronged parents, if yet living: As in the Parable of the prodigall youngſter, who caſt off the yoak of his Father: when he commeth to himſelf, and is now ſenſible of that mad courſe and ſpirit of his, he goeth to his Father, and confeſſeth it, with that aggravation, that he hath ſo ſinned againſt him, that he is no more worthy to be called his Son, Luk. 15. 17, 18, 19, &c. ſo ſhould you do in the caſe of your diſobedient carriages to parents, and as you alſo will then be willing to yeeld to the meaneſt acts of obedience, to be as hired ſervants.
3. Make an holy and fruitfull improvement 3. Improve Gods Word & providences which in ſpeciall awaken thereunto.both of any ſpeciall words of God in the miniſtery or Scriptures, and other good books tending to quicken you up to filial obedience to your parents, and of any ſpeciall afflictions, which you meet with in a way of diſobedience to parents: for God uſeth to be breathing in the word ſometimes in Childrens hearts, obediential workings and purpoſes, as experience witneſseth, and as that place Mal. 4. 6. even now opened, ſheweth: yea, and in his providences alſo croſſing ſtubborn and diſſolute Children in their way, he giveth them a loud call, to alter their courſe of diſobedience and diſſoluteneſs: like that penury and miſery which God made uſe of to awaken the diſſolute Son in the parable, from his courſe, and to bring him back again under his Fathers government, Luke 15. 16, 17, 18. OnelyOnly when at any time God is ſtirring that way in your hearts occaſionally, either from any awakening word or providence of his, look to it that you do not ſtifle thoſe movings, nor ſuppreſſe thoſe workings of heart, nor procraſtinate and put off the real practiſing of ſuch counſels of God, as at ſuch times are preſented to you, but forthwith, without further delay, ſet about the courſe directed and hinted, and urged upon you, leſt otherwiſe, as too often it falleth out, thoſe good motions in your hearts, not being attended and cheriſhed, they die and come to nothing, but rather like that diſſolute Son in the parable, ſo ſoon as ever he was moved inwardly to conſider his periſhing condition in the way he was and had been, ſince he wretchedly brake away from under his Fathers watch & rule, and how well it might be with him to return to his Fathers houſe, in Luke 15. 17, 18, 19. He reſolveth of his courſe, that he will home again, and ſubmit himſelf to his Father, and verſ. 20, 21. his purpoſes died not, but preſently he performed what he ſo had purpoſed, and doe you likewiſe. That example of the Pſalmiſt is imitable in this caſe of Children, as well as in other caſes, who ſaith, Pſal. 119. 59. I thought on my waies, and turned my feet unto thy teſtimonies: and verſ. 60. to ſhew that he did loſe no time therein, he ſaith, I made haſt and delayed not to keep thy Commandements.
4. Yeeld to your parents their due honour 4. Yeeld to Parents honour of repect and reverence.both of reſpect and of reverence, and you will aſſuredly yeeld them their due honour of obedience; My Son, ſaith Solomon, (as a Father alſo to his Child) give me thine heart; and let thine eyes obſerve my waies, Prov. 23. 26. If a Father have his Childs heart, love, and awe, he hath been undoubtedly at his command: as, if Children of God indeed, then loving and ſtanding in awe of him, and if ſo, then ſurely keeping his commandements, then departing from forbidden evils, ſo is it in the caſe of the Children of men, loving and reverencing their parents, they are ready to obey them, they are fearfull to offend them.
5. Do you herein alſo, as well as in other acts of honour of Parents, ſet before your eyes 5. Herein alſo good examples; and the evils of the contrary.the examples of perſons eminent for filial obedience; as Iſaac, Jacob, Joſeph, and Jeſus Christ, who alſo was ſubject to his Parents, Luke 2. 51. Yes ſet before you the contrary miſerable lives and deaths of Children that were diſobedient and ſtubborn to their Parents, and ſee if by the bleſſing of God upon ſuch meditations, God will not exceedingly quicken you up to filial obedience, and ſhame you or deter you from diſobedience to Parents. God maketh accout that exemplary punlſhing of one diſobedient Son, even by mans hand, ſhould cauſe all other to hear and fear, Deut. 21. 20, 21, This our Son will not obey the voice of his Father or of his Mother: and all the men of the City ſhall ſtone him with ſtones, that he die; and all Iſrael ſhall hear and fear.