The Honor Due from Children, Chapter 6
CHAP. VI. Of Honour of Recompence or thankefulneſs due to Parents.
WE have handled three branches and parts of direct honour of parents injoyned in the fifth Commandement: namely honour of reſpect, of reverence, and of obedience. We come now to the fourth, and that is honour of Recompence, for ſo honour is taken in Scripture language, for honour of recompence, as was ſhewed in the firſt Chapter. Obſerve then as a fourth branch of the poynt in generall; that children are to honour their parents with the honour of thankfulneſſe or Honour of recompence to be given to Parents, proved.thankful recompence. Chriſt himſelf ratifieth this as commanded of God, and as injoyned alſo virtually in the fifth Commandement, and that if a Son do nothing for his Father and his Mother in their need, they break that Commandement, and ſuch as are—inſtruments to hinder them from it, they make the word of God of none effect, Mark 7. 10. Moſes ſaid, honour thy Father and thy Mother, verſ. 12. and ye ſuffer a man no more to do ought for his Father or Mother, verſ. 13. making the word of God of none effect, 1 Tim. 5. 4. But if any Widdow have Children, or Nephewes, let them, that is the Adult Children of ſuch ancient widdowes, learn to ſhew piety; (or kindneſſe) at home, and to requite their parents: that this is the meaning, is evident from the ſcope of the Apoſtle, who is ſpeaking of what Widdowes are to be honoured and owned by the Church, imployed and maintained by the Church, viz. ſuch as are Widdowes indeed, verſ. 3. namely as verſ. 5. expoundeth, every way deſolate, not only in reſpect of want, or deprivall of an husband to provide for her, but of Children or near kindred to take care of her, or miniſter ſupply to her. As for any other Widdow, as verſ. 4. expreſſeth, who hath Children or Nephewes to provide for her, the Apoſtle would not have the Church charged with them, but injoyneth it from God as the Childrens duty (if ſuch be living) or near kinsfolkes duty, to ſhew piety or kindneſs to them, and eſpecially the Children, they muſt learn to ſhew piety to them at home, and to requite their parents. And its obſervable, that the Holy Ghoſt ſaith not, let them only ſhew piety & requite Parents, but let them learn to do it: there is an holy skill and art of doing it, to know wherein, and how, and when, and for what ends to do it: every one knoweth not the right art of doing it. And he that hath any holy skill that way, may be a daily proficient in it, there is ſome myſtery in it, and it would be learned by all: every one muſt be teachable, and willing, and deſirous to underſtand his duty this way, and to know it more and more: and the more each one practiſeth, according to the Rules of God, this commendable art, the better artiſt, no doubt, he will prove therein.
I ſhall endevour, according to that ſmall meaſure which I have received, to give ſome few directions, which may be of ſome uſe this way.
Let us then firſt conſider wherein, or in what way this filial gratefull recompence is to be made to Parents.
2. Why it is to be made.
3. Make ſuch uſe of it, as may both diſcover any thing contrary to it, or any hinderance in it: and likewiſe what may any way further either the Theorie or Practice of it. In all which we ſhall make much uſe of that fundamentall notion (as I may call it) which the Holy Ghoſt giveth us for this end, in the very phraſe he uſeth to expreſs the duty it ſelf, 1 Tim. 5. 4. foreign, & vicem rependere, as Beza and others render it, parentibus; or to progenitours, as it is in the Greek: whether next parents, or Grand-Fathers, and Grand-Mothers, or the like: there muſt be a thankful retaliation, as much as may be, though perfectly and fully it cannot be; for parents have given their children their beings (under God,) and their very life and exiſtence: which the children can never do to them; but as much as may be they muſt repay them like for like. Touching the firſt thing propounded, in what way children muſt recompence parents; I anſwer.
1. In way of gratefull ſerving of them, and It conſiſteth in childrens 1. Gratefull ſerving of their parents.their good, as thereunto called of God: Paul alludeth to this in Phil. 2. 22. for as a Son with the Father hath he ſerved with me in the Goſpell, Mal. 3. 17. his Son that ſerveth him. In caſe eſpecially of parents meanneſs, (as with us generally in New England) there is need, that ſome of their children at leaſt ſhould even work for them. Jeſus Chriſt, when on earth, he wrought hard with his reputed Father, for the maintenance of his poor Mother, Mark 6. 3. Is not this the Carpenter, ſay they, the Son of Mary? And I ſay, in way of grateful ſerving of parents, they muſt do that in a way of gratitude, which their parents, in way of parentall love, did for them; they muſt vicem reddere, (as I ſaid the phraſe is in Tim. 5. 4.) give like for like. How did parents work and labour Working for them out of love to them.for them? Anſw. 1. They did it with much tender reſpect and affection to children, for love of them rather than themſelves; they had many a bowel-pang, and thought of their children, carrying them on to, and in their toyles and labours. Alas, thought they, many and many a time, if we take not ſuch and ſuch pains, if we uſe not ſuch and ſuch diligence in our callings, our poor helpleſs babes, our poor children will want this and that for the back, and for the belly, &c. As Jacob ſaid, Gen. 30. 30. when ſhall I be for mine own houſe alſo? He looketh not ſo much to provide for himſelf, as for his wives as an husband, for his children as a Father: children do you like for like. If ſervants in ſome caſes will continue ſerving their Maſters, becauſe they love them, whence that boring of ſuch a ſervants ear, Exod. 21. 5, 6. then do you children much more, out of reſpect to your parents: this ſerving of parents, and labouring for them, and that out of reſpect to them, is all but due debt on your part. You have reaſon to look backward to what is paſt, and lyeth already in banck on your parents part, and what Bils or Bonds on their part, which requir greater disburſments this way than ever you can make, if you ſhould ſerve them all your daies. And if you pay in now a little, and then a little, as you are able, and as your parents needs call for it, yet may you very well have low thoughts of all ſuch petty payments, as yet are ſo exceedingly ſhort of that vaſt ſum of ſervice, and miniſtration, which is due to your parents.
2. Parents did what ſervice of love they did for their children, with a great deal of Alacrity With alacrity.and freeneſs, with heart and good will (as we uſe to ſay) Children, do you the like for them; even ſervants are to ſerve their Maſters with good will, Eph. 6. 7. and to do what they do for them, ex animo, heartily, Col. 3. 23. Much more ſhould children do ſo, in what you do for your parents. Farents [good hearts!] they did nothing they did for children, grudgingly, though never ſo harſh to fleſh and blood, though very toilſome, no, it never deared them (as we ſay) knowing that their poor children ſhould have the benefit of it, more wayes than one. Oh that children would think of it, and do like ſervice of love for them; then would there never be ſuch grumbling with children, as there is with too many, as if every thing were too much, or too harſh, which they are put to do for ſupply of parents wants. Parents never needed urging, or forcing, no nor their childrens calling upon them, to be doing for them and their good; let children do like for like: let none, parents, or others, need to urge you with many arguments, or compel you by blowes or mulcts, to be doing this compenſatory ſervice, but let it be as a very naturall fruit, ariſing freely, from an innate principle and root within. Parents needed no eye of man, of their children, or of others, to look after them, and ſee that they were diligent in their ſervice of love for their children, no, when none were by, as well as when any were preſent, ſtill they plied it hard for the ſupply of their childrens wants, for their childrens welfare: let children do like for like; very ſervants to Maſters, ſhould not do eye ſervice, Col. 3. 22. and it would be a ſhamefull and loathſome thing moſt of all in children, to do eye ſervice for parents.
3. Parents were conſtant, and unwearied, in Conſtantly and unweariedly.their labours, for their childrens good; they thought nothing they did, or could do, too much, or ſcarce enough, for their childrens good; Oh that children would but give like for like to parents! then would there never be ſuch counting upon ſo much, and ſo much, which children have done for parents; Many a poor honeſt parent hath even worn out themſelves, and waſted and exhauſted their very ſtrength, in their ſervice of love for their children; and it would be a monſtrous thing, if children ſhould not now do all that ever they can to maintain theſe their decayed, decrepit, exhauſted parents; I had almoſt ſaid ſervants.
4 Parents in their ſervice of love, on behalf of their children, condeſcended to meaneſt offices, and imployments, ſuch indeed they were, eſpecially when their children were little, were diſeaſed, or many wayes bodily diſtempered and ill at eaſe, that none elſe but tender hearted parents, Fathers and Mothers, would have done for them; let children do like for like for parents, as they may have uſe, or ſtand in need of them. As in the parable (oft made uſe of in this diſcourſe) the Son, when come to rights, he was willing to be as his Fathers ſervant, yea the meaneſt of ſervants, as his hired ſervant, Luke 15. 17, 18, 19.2. In being a comfort to them in their ſorrows and ſufferings.
A ſecond way of ſuch grateful recompencing of parents, is, by being a comfort to them againſt their ſorrows, and ſufferings. As when parents meet with any ſad loſſes, croſſes, reproaches, perſecutions for Chriſts ſake, when exiled, impriſoned, or the like; let children cheer them up all they can, Gen. 5. 29. Lamech called his Sons name Noah, ſaying, this Son ſhall comfort us, concerning our work, and toil of our hands, becauſe of the ground which the Lord hath curſed. Let children be as ſo many Noahs, comforts, and comforters, againſt whatſoever miſeries, or calamities which may befall their parents, Ruth 4. 15. this ſhall be a reſtorer of thy life, and a nouriſher of thy old age; the grand-child Boaz, muſt be his grand-mothers cheriſher, ſuccourer, and ſupporter, under God, againſt all her faintings, ſinkings, and troubles of her elder times; when that ſad news of Joſephs ſuppoſed death came to Jacobs eares, All his Sons and daughters roſe up to comfort him; Children are branches of their Parents, as of a Vine, Pſal. 128. 3. (thy wife ſhall be as the fruitfull Vine by thy houſe ſide) whoſe branches yeeld ſuch grapes, ſuch fruit, from which choyceſt wine is made, whereby mans heart is cheared, quickned and inlarged: let children then yeeld ſuch chearing, quickening, ſtrengthning and inlarging fruit to their parents, when ſad, when their Spirits are ready to fail, and ſink within them, through troubles inward or outward. As other wine, or fruit of the Vine, is for thoſe that are of a heavy heart, Prov. 31. 6. So children, as children, as receiving a being from their parents, as of the Vine of which they came, are to yeeld comforting fruit, eſpecially to their ſorrowfull parents; children ſhould carry it ſo, and be ſuch to ſad and ſuffering parents, as they may make up many other loſſes, and croſſes, to them. As it was ſaid of Ruth (whoſe ſtory is often, occaſionally, made uſe of, in this diſcourſe) Ruth 4. 15. for thy daughter-in-Law, which loveth thee, which is more to thee than ſeven Sons, hath born him. Naomi had loſt her two dear Sons, yea but Ruth is ſuch a ſuccourer, and ſupporter, and comforter to her, that ſhe is inſtead of many Sons that way to her. Eve loſeth her hopefull Son Abel, and her wound is the greater, in that his brother Cain murthered him; yea but Seth is given her, as one appointed of God to be another ſeed to her, inſtead of Abel, whom his brother Cain ſlew, Gen. 4. 25. ſhe looketh for all that good and comfort from him, which Abel might have miniſtred to her; and ſo doubtleſs ſhe found it made good to her; children, in this alſo, muſt vicem rependere, pay and give in like for like. Ah the bowels of parents towards children! when any evill, or calamity befalleth them, when any way ill at eaſe, when ſad through-outward, or inward troubles, or preſſures, they put their ſouls in their ſouls ſtead, they would not ſuffer them to lie grieving, and waſting themſelves with grief, if with all their wiſdom, and grace and ability they had, inward, or outward, they could redreſs the ſame: when their children were litle, ſuch comforts, and cordials were parents unto them, and when their children are adult, they were the ſame to them: let children then repay like for like to their grieved afflicted parents; If to him that is melting away with trouble (as that Hebrew word in Job 6. 14. ſignifieth) ſuch expreſſions of ſympathy ſhould be ſhewed from a friend to his friend, much more from a child to a parent; if a brother be born for adverſity, Prov. 17. 17. Is it not one end of a childs being born from his parents, to be a help, and ſuccour to them in adverſity? Children ſhould be as eyes to their dim-ſighted parents, as ſtrength to them when weak, Feet to them when lame, nouriſhers to them when in need of meat and refreſhment, ſweet melody to them to make their very hearts dance within them, and a very flaffe to their age, as it is ſaid, that Scipio Africanus was unto his Father. If Chriſt himſelf account ſo of each of his Diſciples, who do the will of his Father, to be his Brother, Siſter, and Mother, not alone in the faithfull reſpects and ſervice of the love of ſuch to him-ward, but in reſpect of his own reſpects and ſervices of love, ſuccour, and ſympathy towards them, as of a child towards a Mother, and of a Brother or Siſter towards a Brother or Siſter, eſpecially when afflicted, Eſay 63. 9. and Mark 3. 35. It will be a Chriſt-like part, and an Image of his indeared, and ſelf-denying reſpects to us, who have done to him any ſervices, and offices of love, that gracious children, be as children indeed, in way of holy recompences, by all due reſpects, ſuccour and ſympathy of love, to their afflicted Mothers or Fathers, for all thoſe greater ſervices, ſuccours, and ſympathies of their love towards them.
3. Let children recompence parents by being 3. In being very ſollicitous of parents good and ſafety in hazzards and ſtraits.effectually ſollicitous of their parents outward ſafety and good in times of danger and ſtraits; thus David, fearing the malicious rage of Saul againſt his parents, for his ſake, ſecureth them with the King of Moab, whom he requeſted, ſaying, 1 Sam. 22. 3. Let my Father and Mother, I pray thee, come forth and be with you, till I know what God will do for me, and verſ. 4. he brought them before the King of Moab, and they dwelt with him all the time that David was in the hold. So Jeſus Chriſt, that unparalleld example of thankful recompence of parents, ſee Joh. 19. 26, 27. how ſollicitous he is, and what effectual order he taketh for his poor Mother, even then, when he hung bleeding upon the Croſs [when Jeſus ſaw his Mother, and the diſciple ſtanding by whom he loved, he ſaith unto his Mother. Woman behold thy Son, then he ſaith to the Diſoiple, Behold thy Mother] or take her, & uſe her, love her, tender her, look to her, do for her, as for thy own Mother; and ſo indeed John underſtood Chriſts ſpeech, and therefore it is added, [And from that hour that Diſciple took her unto his own home.] When a Lion intercepteth Sampſon, and his Father and Mother, in their journey, Judg. 14. 5, 6. Sampſon interpoſeth twixt danger and his parents, adventureth his own life, and ſlaieth the Lion; when danger was impending upon Jericho, and a bloody ſtorm was gathering over it, Rahab will not be ſaved alone, but muſt have her Parents and Kindred alſo preſerved, Joſh. 2. 13. That ye will ſave alive my Father and my Mother, and my Brethren and Siſters, and all that they have, and deliver our lives from death. And indeed parents are the head of the Family; and as it is in the body natural, every member is ready to reſcue the head from hurt, and rather expoſe it ſelf to hazzard, than indanger the head: ſo ſhould it be in the body oeconomicall; the children eſpecially ſhould take all effectuall care that may be, to preſerve their parents from hazzard, or harms; like thoſe young men of Catana (of whom we ſpake before) which adventured the very flames, to preſerve their parents from burning. Scipio Africanus, when the conſul Scipio Cornelius his Father, had almoſt loſt the day to Hannibal, and was now both ſorely wounded, and ſurrounded by the enemy, he being then but 17 years old, boldly and undauntedly breaketh through the ſurrounding enemy, and reſcueth his Father from that danger; as Livy reporteth; young Manlius Son to Lucius Manlius, a young man of rare abilities, and ſit for publique ſervices, but put by his Father to live an obſcure life, in too mean imployments, for which amongſt other faults his Father was to be impeached by Pomponius the Tribune, which young Manlius perceiving, he repaireth early to the Tribunes Chamber, who ſuppoſing he came to help on the intended impeachment of his Father, he cauſed all to depart the room, but young Manlius having a ſword privily under his coat, threatned the Tribune with preſent death, unleſs he would ſwear to deſiſt wholly from proſecution of his Father, and as Valerius Maximus reporteth, he did ſo, and ſo reſcued his Father from that danger, overlooking all unkind paſſages mentioned of his Father towards him; when the Son of Craeſus, who was formerly dumb, ſaw a Perſian Souldier ready to run him thorow, though to him unknown who he was, it is ſaid, that this young man that for a time had lived mute, for himſelf, then for the ſafety of his Father he obtained power to ſpeak, for he cryed out to the Perſian Soldier: Oh do not kill King Craeſus my Father, as alſo Val. Max. l. 5. reporteth. Such ſtrange effects even in poor Pagans hath their ſollicitous care of their parents ſafety produced; and let not the children of Chriſtians be behind hand therein. Herein alſo muſt children vicem reddere, pay and give in like for like. Oh the many ſollicitous thoughts, and moſt ſerious endeavours of parents, about their childrens ſafety, and outward good, when time was! when they were but in any likely-hood of any harm come to them, when they were little, if they were but miſſing a while from home, and their parents not knowing where they were, like Joſeph and Mary, when Jeſus being then 12 years old was miſſing, they ſought him ſorrowing, Luke 2. 48. So have dear parents many a time done the like for their children; if looking but a little more pale than uſual, or not eating their meat, as at other times, Ah the fears, and heart-akes of tender-hearted parents about them, leſt they ſhould fall ſick: or if any way hurt, or in pain, or ſick, Oh the ſorrowful dayes and nights, which parents that while paſs over, fearing leſt they ſhould miſcarry, and how many caſtings about, and contrivings, and inquiries are made by parents, what way, or courſe, or means might be ſeaſonably uſed, which is moſt likely to eaſe, or heal, or revive their dear children, and to reſcue them from the Jawes of death; let children repay unto parents like for like. How many hazzards, how many ſufferings, have parents formerly expoſed themſelves unto, for childrens good and ſafety? Like Moſes his parents, Heb. 11. 23. through faith hiding Moſes, when an infant, from the miſchief of Pharaohs Butchery, not fearing the Tyrants bloody edict, which was, that each male child of the Iſraelites ſhould be ſlain; or like David, who underſtanding that wife and children, and all are captived by the Amalekites, he will adventure a thouſand hazzards, but he will reſcue them. Many a tender-hearted Mother will expoſe her ſelf to be ſome way miſchiefed, by a bear, or bull, or dog, or the like, to ſave and reſcue her child from being hurt by any of them, when they are in imminent danger thereof; She will be ready to thruſt her tender hand into the very fire, to pull or ſnatch out her little child, from being burnt or ſcorched by it. Now let children repay them like for like.
4. Let children, in way of recompence, improve 4. In improving their utmoſt intereſts in God or men fot their good.their beſt intereſts either in God, for their good, inward, or outward, through exerciſe of their faith in prayer, or otherwiſe for that end; or in men, by intreaties, or otherwiſe, to further the ſame parentall good. As Heſter did for her Unckle Mordecai, who had been a very Father to her, Heſter 2. 7. ſhe ſendeth him word, Chap. 4. 16. that ſhe and her maids will ſolemnly faſt (and conſequently pray too, on his, and his peoples behalf) and ſo I will (ſaith ſhe) go in to the King, which yet is not according to the Law, and if I periſh, I periſh; ſhe will then improve her utmoſt intereſt in heaven and earth, come what will come of it, but ſhe will, if poſſible, help out Mordecai and the reſt, at this dead lift. So Joſeph, he improved his intereſt in Pharaoh for his Father Jacobs welfare, Gen. 47. 1. he told him, that his Father, and all his, and all he had were come, and were in the Land of Goſhen, &c. upon which Pharaoh, v. 6. biddeth Joſeph to place them there. Rahab improved her intereſt, not alone in the ſpies, to procure her parents and kinreds ſafety and welfare, as well as her own, Joſh. 2. 12, 13. but in the Lord himſelf alſo, for the ſame end; for this action and ſucceſs is aſcribed alſo to Rahabs Faith, in Heb. 11. 31. with 5. In ſupplying their outward wants: yet ſo as it be honourably, plentifully, readily, and freely, to their content, out of the very beſt, and in ſome caſes before themſelves.Joſh. 2. We heard but now alſo what improvement David made in the King of Moab, on behalf of his parents, and what uſe Chriſt the Son of David made of his intereſt in John the Apoſtle, for his Mother; verily, good parents did as much with God and men too, many and many a time, on the behalf of their children, as might be ſhewed in Scripture examples, and children cannot do leſs than repay unto them like for like.
5. [Which eſpecially we ſhall preſſe, in this part of the diſcourſe.]
Let children in way of gratefull recompence, communicate to their parents, of the bleſſings of this life, which God vouchſafeth them, according as their parents at any time may need the ſame. Paul in 1 Tim. 5. 4. doth in ſpeciall ſort look at this, as one way of gratefull requitall of parents: when, as for inſtance, the childrens Mother is ſome poor Ancient helpleſs widdow, one that might have charged the Church, but that God had given her Children, as well as Nephews, and they in the firſt place muſt learn the gratefull art of maintaining her, and of ſupplying of ſuch a Mother-widdows wants; for which end mind we the Apoſtles words: [But if any widdow have children or Nephews; (not let her, as if ſpeaking of a Mothers duty to children or kindred, but) let them learn (as ſpeaking of the children firſtly, and nextly of the Nephews) to ſhew kindneſs at home, and to requite their parents. The word foreign, is in the plurall number, and ſo not agreeing with foreign the widdow, which is the ſingular, but with foreign children rather, being plurall; which clearly evinceth, that the ſcope of the place is to ſhew, not what is the Mother-widdows duty to their children, but what is the childrens duty to the Mother-widdow: namely as verſ. 16. To relieve the Mother-widdows; and by the light of the word, foreign uſed for relieving parents, v. 16. and that in v. 4. foreign uſed for requiting parents, we may have much help, to clear this particular now in hand; the word foreign ſignifieth let him abundantly ſupply their wants, or let him miniſter enough to them, or what is ſufficient for them, or that which is to juſt content; according alſo, as in Greek Authors that word is uſed; but I forbear inſtances. In Scripture the ſimple verb foreign is uſed, Joh. 14. …. for [it ſufficeth] ſhew us the Father, and foreign [it ſufficeth] and 2 Cor. 12. 9. my grace foreign is ſufficient for thee; and Matth. 25. 9. lest foreign there be not enough for us and you. In Heb. 13. 5. foreign is, [Let us be content with what we have;] and the like uſe of it is in other Scriptures; and this word uſed in 1 Tim. 5. 16. for the Churches relief of their officed widdows, ſheweth that it muſt be honourable: for ſo in v. 3. Its ſaid: Honour them that are widdows indeed. It is then ſuch a relief as is in honorem, in way of honour of the widdows; and if each good and chriſtian child foreign muſt in ſuch ſort relieve his Mother-widdow, then they muſt do it honourably, or in honour of them, as a part of this, Honour thy Father and thy Mother, in an honourable way; yea they muſt do it abundantly, ſufficiently, and to their juſt content, but more happily of theſe by and by, in the manner of doing it. Hitherto alſo ſome interpreters refer that, 1 Tim. 5. 8. who ſo provideth not for his own, and eſpecially them of his own houſe, hath denied the faith, and is worſe than an infidel; as a threat, and ſo forcible argument, to ſway, that ſuch ſhould not be maintained upon the Churches charge, which may be maintained by their own; referring this, not ſo much to the wanton widdows, which waſte that which ſhould maintain them and theirs; as to the children of their widdow-Mothers, whoſe children ſhould take care to provide for them, as their own, leſt they incur this ſad cenſure, of perſons denying that faith which they do profeſs, and of perſons, who are worſe than infidels. And here the force of foreign taketh place. Parents took paines and care, night and day, and all that ever Gods providence otherwiſe caſt in upon them, all ſtill was, that their houſe, eſpecially children, might be comfortably and ſufficiently provided for, and that to their juſt content: as Father Jacob ſaid, Gen. 30. 30. When ſhall I provide for my own houſe? Let children then, in parents ſhiftleſs conditions, vicem rependere, take their turn of repayment of like for like to Parents. Parents, according to their childrens needs and wants, and their own ability, did ſupply their children with Food, Rayment, Phyſick, Houſing, Lodging, Attendance, and the like, In ſickneſs as well as health. In all their bodily ayles and infirmities, their perſons and eſtates were ſubſervient to them; yea ſometimes when through infirmity they were froward, and diſtempered in their ſpirits; let children do the like for parents; let them provide for their own parents eſpecially, what is meet for them in all reſpects. Parents did ſeaſonably provide all needfull ſupplies for children, and did not procraſtinate, but took the firſt opportunity to do it for them; let children do as much for parents, when they need their help and ſupply. Parents did all cheerfully and freely; they grudged their children nothing they had, nothing they did for their ſuccour and ſupply; Oh that children would repay parents herein alſo like for like; do what they do for them, according as they need them, freely and cheerfully, without the leaſt regreeting thought. Parents, in many reſpects, denyed themſelves, for their childrens ſakes: fared the harder, that they might have food enough, ſometimes ſpared it from their own bellies, that their children might have it; they went meanly and coarſely clad, that the children might have the better apparel; eſpecially thoſe little children that were more ſhiftleſs that the reſt, they ſhould be ſure to have of the beſt they could get for them. Let children alſo in many reſpects deny themſelves for their more ſhiftleſs parents ſake. It was not coſt their parents ſtood upon, according to their abilities and ranck, they would willingly ſequeſter of the beſt of their eſtates, ſo their children might have what was fit for them, for back, or belly, for their education to literature, or other imployments as they were thereof more capable, let children repay like for like in this, to ſpare no coſt for them: and to let parents partake of the beſt of what God giveth them, and not of the refuſe thereof, for their ſupply. It was an ingenious Act of Reuben, who finding a thing better than ordinary, a Mandrake, he bringeth and giveth it to his Mother Leah, Gen. 30. 14. And Sampſon, if he meet with hony and hony-combe, his Father and Mother ſhall have part of it, Judg. 14. 9▪ And Joſeph ſendeth his Father, not of the refuſe, but of the good things (or better ſort of things) of Egypt, Gen. 45. 23. And when he commeth to Egypt, he doth not put him into ſome waſt building, or into ſome blind and old hole, and barren out-corner of the Land, but he procureth him and his houſhold to be placed in Goſhen, in the beſt part of Egypt, Gen. 45. 13. compared with Chap. 47. 6. And what though children ſhould be fain to ſpare ſomewhat from themſelves, for ſuch like needfull ſupplies of their parents, out of their beſt things? yet they muſt do like for like, their parents having done as much and more for them, as we ſaid even now. It is a good ſpeech of Ariſtotle, Ethic. l. 9. cap. 2. foreign. Children ſeem in ſpeciall fort to be bound as debtors, to ſupply their parents with things neceſſary for their proviſion. And it is more comely to ſupply neceſſaries, to the cauſes of our being, than to our ſelves. And then he addeth that ſpeech, foreign, and we muſt give honour to them, even as it were to Gods; ſee in what a plentifull way, by the light of nature this heathen Philoſopher ſeeth, children ought to miniſter to their parents, even in all things they ſtand need of; and in what a ſelf-denying way, Judging it meeteſt for children to prefer their parents, in ſuch ſupplies, before themſelves; and in what an honourable, awfull and conſcientious way (as I may call it) all ſhould be carryed, even as if they were offering ſome Sacrifice to God himſelf. And how juſtly all this is due, from children to parents, its not a matter left to their own curteſie, and will, whether they will do it, or not do it; nor is it a matter of meer charity, as alms to other poor, but children are bound thereto, as debtors; and no wonder, he ſaith its meeter we provide for the cauſes of our being, than for our ſelves; For he maketh children (and that rightly) parents debtors, (as he doth elſe-where in his Ethicks) and debtors we know, muſt, in caſe, take care to pay their Creditors, and to Live of the reſt; as the Prophet adviſed her, 2 Kings 4. So muſt children, in caſe, ſpare it from their own ſelves, that parents may Reaſons why recompence is due to parents are taken 1. from Childrens ſtate as Children: being Gods rewards.be ſupplyed.
Now let us briefly give ſome reaſons of this duty.
The 1. Reaſon may be taken from the Condition, and ſtate of children, as children: they are, or ſhould be made up of recompence, be all recompence: they are given of God to their godly parents as rewards, Pſal. 128. 3. The fruit of the womb is his reward; God intends them as rewards; if they prove otherwiſe than ſuch every way, they do what in them lyeth, to fruſtrate Gods ends; ſo are they an heritage of the Lord, Ibid. Not alone ſuch as God will improve for his own honour, and poſſeſs for his own uſe, but ſuch as ſhould, by the bleſſing of God, Miniſter a bleſſed income of comfort, ſuccour, ſupport, and ſupply to their parents, as from the Lord by them; according as they may ſtand in need thereof.
2. Reaſon may be taken from the nature of ſuch 2. From the nature of ſuch recompence, it is piety.gratefull recompence; it is counted, and called of God by the name of piety, 1 Tim. 5. 4. Let them learn foreign to exerciſe piety towards their own houſe, or to requite their parents. In ſome caſes it is preferred before giving to religious uſes, as to the Corban, for Temple uſes, Mark 7. 10, 11, 12, 13. Chriſt condemneth the giving to the Corban, that which ſhould have been rather ſequeſtred for parents ſupply by their Children.
3. Reaſon, from the juſtice, and equity of it; 3. From the juſtice and equity of it.children have received their very eſſence, and exiſtence, inſtrumentally, from parents, and that is more than all that which children can Miniſter to them, as Chriſt ſaid in another caſe, Is not the life more than meat, and the body than rayment? and ſo I might ſay here; and what then can children return to parents in lieu thereof, beſides all the cares, fears, exerciſes, and troubles of parents in behalf of their Childrens outward, and inward welfare, for which children can never make them amends?4. From the benefits comming by parents.
4. Reaſon, may be taken from that bleſſed fruit which children of good parents reap, even in outward bleſſings, by their Prayers, bleſſing, covenant-intereſts, and the like. A good man leaveth an inheritance to his childrens children reſpecting the outward, as well as the inward man, Prov. 20. 7. the juſt mans children are bleſſed after him, in outward matters, ſo far as is good for them, as well as in ſpirituall things, Pſal. 112. 1, 2, 3. The ſeed of fearers of God, have Gods promiſe of becomming mighty upon the earth, and the generation of the upright ſhall be bleſſed: bleſſed indefinitely, and ſo every way bleſſed, bleſſed in their bodies, bleſſed in their ſpirits, bleſſed in their names, in their labours, in their eſtates, in their relations, in their undertakings, in their choices and changes, bleſſed in their protections, proviſions, plenty, and the like. And ſurely children are then bound in regard of ſo much good which commeth by their parents, to communicate to them in all the good bleſſings of God, which for their ſakes they the rather received.
Let us now make ſome uſe, and application of what hath been ſaid; the uſe ſerveth
Uſe 1. For reproof, and conviction to all Uſe of reproof. 1. To ingratefull Children.children, who are ungratefull to your parents; to be unthankfull to any man, is made one of the carachters of a man, who though he may have a form of godlineſs, yet he denieth the power of it, and from whom Churches ſhould turn away, have nothing to do with them, if not reject them from them, if any ſuch be membors of them, 2 Tim. 3. 2. 5. Ʋnthankfull, having a form of godlineſſe, but denying the power of it, from ſuch turn away; and if ſo with ungrateful perſons to other men, its much The great evill of it and in it.more ſo with ungratefull children. Its noted as a vile part in that ungratefull Butler, one upon whom Joſeph had ſuch compaſſion, when he was ſad, of whoſe dream Joſeph had given ſo good, and effectuall an interpretation, Gen. 40. 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 21. that as v. 23. yet did not the chief Butler remember Joſeph, but forgate him; how much viler a thing is this for children, not to remember their afflicted parents, when they themſelves are inlarged? The Prophet by way of alluſion, comparing the Church to a Mother, and her members to Children, bringeth it as a very monſtrous thing, Eſay 51. 18. There is none to guide her among all the Sons ſhe hath brought forth, neither is there any that taketh her by the hand, of all that ſhe hath brought up, ſo that it were a very monſtrous thing, if a naturall Mother having many children, ſhould have none to become her guide, her ſtaffe, and ſtay, in her miſery, and afflicted eſtate; what is a more cutting, & killing blow to your parents hearts, than to ſee you their children prove ingratefull to them? David made nothing of Shemies curſing him, in compariſon of Abſolom, a Son out of his own bowels to riſe up againſt him, 2 Sam. 16. 11. your parents groundedly expect it from you their children, that ſurely you would be helpfull to them in their age, ſickneſs, weakneſs, wants, and the like, and if hope deferred maketh the heart ſick, Prov. 13. 12. what doth hope diſappointed? Oh it wounded Jobs heart, when in his affliction, it was, as Job 19. 14. my kindred (ſaith he,) failed me, and my familiar friends forgat me, verſ. 15. they that dwell in my houſe and my maidens count me for a ſtranger, I am an Alien in their ſight. Verſ. 16. I called my ſervant, and he gave me no anſwer: I intreated him with my mouth, verſ. 17. my breath is ſtrange to my wife, though I entreated for the childrens ſake of my own body, and what a gaſh would ſuch like ingratitude in his children, if they had been living, have given unto his troubled ſpirit? it was ſad enough to the man to meet with ſo much trouble, and affliction, both inwardly, and outwardly, Pſal. 88. but that was as the very core in his wounds, verſ. 16. that Lover and friend was put far from him; and much more is this ingratitude in children, an intollerable grievance to your afflicted parents, as it is an abominable wickedneſs alſo in the children; If he ſaid of other ingratitude, Ingratum dixeris, omnia dixeris, call me unthankfull, and call me any thing, ſurely it may be much more verified here: he that may juſtly be termed ungratefull to parents, may be termed any thing that hath wickedneſſe in the notion of it; he is one ingratefull to God, ingratefull to man, he is one that is unnaturall, inhumane, unfaithfull, unmercifull, hard-hearted, proud, covetous, deſtitute of grace, of a good conſcience, of godly wiſdome, and the knowledge of God, of faith, and hope in God, of love of God, and the fear of God, each of which might be fully made good againſt ſuch a one, if I ſhould enter that task; but it ſhall ſuffice to name the ſame.
But to come to ſome particulars to be here reproved.
Let this abaſe ſuch of you, as have been, and 1. It reproveth in ſpeciall 1. Such as are a very grief to parents.ſtill are a very heart cut, and grief, to your parents, by your lewd courſes, and carriages. Like Eſau, and his wives, of whom its ſaid, Gen. 26. 35. they were a grief of mind unto Iſaac, and Rebeckah, namely by their vile ſpeeches, and carriages, and the like; hence alſo that ſpeech of Rebeckah, Gen. 27. 46. I am weary of my life, becauſe of the daughters of Heth. Hence, Prov. 10. 1. a fooliſh, or ungratious Son, (ſaith Solomon) is the heavineſs of his Mother, and Prov. 17. 25. A fooliſh (or ungracious) Son is a grief to his Father, and bitterneſs to her The evill and vileneſs of this.that bare him; but as Moſes ſaid to thoſe ungratefull Children of God of old, Deut. 32. 6. So may I, by way of alluſion, ſay to all ſuch Children of men, do you thus requite your parents, O fooliſh Children, and unwiſe? you ſhould be the joy of your parents, and ſuch as make their hearts glad, Pro. 23. 25. And do you make them ſad? you ſhould be as Vine branches, Pſal. 128. 3. yeelding ſweet cheering cluſters of grapes, and are your grapes (as it is ſaid of them, Deut. 32. 32.) grapes of gall, and are your cluſters bitter? or as v. 33. Is your wine the poyſon of Dragons, and the cruell venim of Aſpes, manifeſtly indangering the very lives of your parents? have your parents wept ſo oft for you, when you were ſick, or in pain, or any way ill at eaſe, or in any ſuppoſed danger of limb, or life, and is this your requitall, to draw yet more tears from their eyes, and ſighes from their grieved, oppreſſed hearts by your miſcarriages? have they joyed ſo oft, ſo much, in your birth, in your growth, in your education, expecting that you would have been Abſhaloms, your Fathers peace, Cains, your parents portions, and are you rather Benonies, your Mother, and Fathers ſorrows? have not your parents enough otherwiſe to grieve them, in reſpect of their many inward ayles, and wants, in reſpect of many temptations, heart burthens, in reſpect of outward cumbers, and croſſes, perſecutions, reproaches, &c? but muſt you be adding to their afflictions? if God took that ſo ill from the heathen, that when he was but a little diſpleaſed with his people, they helped forward the affliction? Zeph. 1. 15. will he not be ſore diſpleaſed (as he ſaith here) with you who thus help forward your Parents afflictions? Have your parents given marrow to your bones, and will you thus dry up their bones? Prov. 17. 22. A broken Spirit dryeth the bones; they gave you breath, and will you by ſuch grief, break their wind (as I may ſay) bring them to that paſs, as they cannot ſtir up ſtaires, or down, (as we ſay) but they have almoſt loſt their breath; make them go up and down panting, and blowing for want of breath, ſcarce able to ſpeak a few words to God or men, but they muſt make pawſes ever and anon to recover breath they are ſo ſpent? Prov. 15. 13. by ſorrow of heart the ſpirit is broken, that is, as Junius noteth upon that place, Veluti Anhelus, & ſuſpirioſus efficitur homo, & reſpiratio ejus interſcinditur, A man is made as one that is broken-winded; your parents many a time have carried you in their Arms, and born the burthens of your educations, and the like, and will you now break the very back of their hearts, and ſpirits, which ſhould help ſuſtain and bear up all other burthens, by your continuall grieving of them? Prov. 12. 25. heavineſs in the heart maketh it ſtoop, as an heavy load weigheth down the body; now the ſpirit of a man is that which ſuſtaineth his infirmity, Prov. 18. 14. and how do you diſ-inable poor parents to hold up head, and heart, under other burthens of theirs? your dear Mother underwent ſorrows in her conceiving you, and bearing you in her womb, and in your birth, and both Father and Mother met with many ſorrows in your bringing up, from the womb to your ripe age, and will you now make them go ſorrowing to their graves, by your lewdneſs; or by your vile courſes, carriages, and ſpeeches, bring their gray haires with ſorrow to their graves? ſhall they pay ſo dearly for your pleaſures, your gaines, your merry bouts, your exceſs and riot, &c? doth it not ſuffice the drunkard, to drink ſo much of the blood of the grape, and the ſpirits of the vine, but he muſt alſo ſwallow down ſo many drams of the blood and ſpirits of his dear Father, and tender-hearted Mother? whil'ſt you, as diſolute Children, are making your beds, (as you ſuppoſe) with Roſes, in your voluptuous, and vile courſes, you are filling your Fathers beds with Bryers, and ſtuffing their pillows with thorns; and what reſtleſs nights muſt your poor parents have that while? Children ſhould be reſtorers of their parents lives, Ruth 4. 15. (he ſhall be to thee a reſtorer of thy life) and will any of you be ſo inhumane, and brutiſh, as by ſuch grief, which you cauſe to your parents, to ſhorten their dayes, impair their lives, and haſten their going out of the world? well, let me tell ſuch, that this is a degree of paricide. God who in the 6th Commandement ſaith, thou ſhalt not kill, requireth to ſave life, to preſerve, and cheriſh life: and if not to ſave life be to kill, Mar. 3. 4. then not to cheriſh parents, ſo as to help to preſerve their lives, is to kill them: he that forbiddeth alſo killing another, forbiddeth all means tending to ſhorten anothers dayes, as its evident heart griefs do, Prov. 12. 25. and 5. 13. and 17. 22. Surely then, you that by your vile courſes cauſe ſuch grief to your parents, as dryeth their bones, maketh their hearts ſtoop, breaketh their very ſpirits, you are ſo far forth guilty of paricide; and ſhall Murtherers of Fathers, and Murtherers 2. Such as miniſter not ſuitably and ſeaſonably to parents wants.of Mothers eſcape? ſurely no, 1 Tim. 1. 9. the Law, and all the puniſhments, and curſes thereof, are for ſuch, in ſpeciall ſort.
2. It ſerveth to abaſe ſuch among you, as miniſter not ſuitably and ſeaſonably to parents wants, or the like, when they need ſuccour, and help, in age, in poverty, in ſickneſs, in lameneſs, or the like; now not to guide them, not to help them, not to take them (as it were) by the hand, (as that phraſe is in Eſay 51. 18. Its moſt loathſome in you. If God would not have them, Eſay 58. 7. to hide themſelves from their own fleſh, brethren of the ſame ſtock of Iſrael; ſurely much leſs, to hide themſelves from them that gave them their fleſh, and blood, and lives; if the Brother fallen into decay with an Iſraelite, he muſt relieve him, yea though he be a ſtranger, or a ſojorner, that he may live with him, Levit. 25. 35. much more muſt be done to a parent by a childe; and if who ſo hath this worlds good, and ſeeth his brother hath need, and ſhutteth up this bowels of compaſſion from him, the love of God dwelleth not in him, 1 Joh. 3. 17. ſurely much leſs can there be any love of God in that Childe, that ſo ingratefully ſhall neglect his needy parent; 1 Tim. 5. 8. who ſo provideth not for his own, &c. is worſe than an Infidell: which as was ſaid, is to be referred to Childrens neglect of providing anſwerable ſupplies unto parents needs, and ſo, ſuch are worſe than Infidels. Notable is that example which Valerius Maximus in his 5th Book and Chap. 4th mentioneth: A certain grave woman condemned to die by the Roman Praetor, and delivered to one of the Triumviri that ſhe might be ſtrangled in the Priſon, the Keeper of the Priſon moved with pitty to the woman, deferred her ſtrangling, and thought to let her die of famine rather, & ſuffered her daughter to viſit her ſometimes, onelyonly ſearched her, that ſhe brought no food with her for her Mother: but wondering at length, that the grave Matron lived ſo long, and watching more narrowly, at length eſpied the yong woman ſuckling her Mother, with her breaſts, and examining her about it, ſhe confeſſed, ſhe had ſo done all the while her Mother had been a Priſoner, whereupon the Keeper acquainting the Triumvir, and he the Praetor, and he the Conſulls, the condemned Matron was pardoned, and ſo eſcaped death, whereupon ſaith Valerius Maximus, Quo non penetrat, aut quid non excogitat pietas? where will not piety towards parents make entrance, and what will not that invent, which can find out a new way to preſerve the life of a Mother in Priſon? and the like ſtory he hath there of the like courſe that a young woman took, to preſerve the life of her Father Cimon, condemned to a like end. Saith Tully, it is a moſt hainous thing not to nouriſh parents. Solon made a Law, that he that doth not nouriſh his parents, let him be infamous; yea ſuch are worſe than the brute creatures, the Storks, as Pliny, and other natural Hiſtorians report, they carry their old ones betwixt two of them, and feed them by turns, whence the Law amongſt the very heathens for nouriſhing of parents, is called foreign the Law of piety, after the manner of Storks; and in the Hebrew phraſe, the Stork hath his name of piety, Jer. 8. 7. Pſal. 104. 17. The Hebrew word for Stork is foreign from foreign pious, gracious, kind, bountifull, &c. the very Dormiſe, (as Pliny telleth us, in his Nat Hiſt. lib. 9. Chap. 57.) they alſo nouriſh up the old ones when ſpent with age, and ſhiftleſs; beſides, in profeſſed Chriſtians, its to deny the faith, which men hold forth, and profeſs, not thus to provide for their own; for the faith which they profeſs to believe, the doctrine of piety, teacheth them otherwiſe, tho they hereby deny to practiſe it; and the faith whereby they believe (at leaſt profeſs ſo) that aſſuredly would teach otherwiſe; hence that Emphaſis in the Apoſtles exhortation to piety towards parents, 1 Tim. 5. 16. If a man, or woman [that believeth] hath widdows, and Mothers by his own, or wives ſide (or the like) Let him relieve (or Miniſter ſufficiently to) them: beſides this ſin invalidateth, what in you lyeth, the 5th Commandement, Mar. 7. 10, 11, 12, 13. Moſes ſaith, Honour thy Father, and Mother, but you will not ſuffer a man to do ought for his Father, or Mother, and ſo make the word of God of none effect; nor will any pretences (as there are) for need of what parents ſhould have, for religious uſes, for the Corban, and that by beſtowing the ſame upon ſuch uſes, parents will have benefit enough, and the like, not ſuch, nor any other pretence whatſoever will paſs with God, why children ſhould neglect, or omit ſo weighty a duty of miniſtring to their parents. If Job ſay, if I have ſeen any poor without covering, if his loynes have not bleſſed me, then let my arm fall from my ſhoulder blade, &c? Job 31. 19, 20, 21. Surely much leſs could he charge himſelf with any ſuch ſin as this is we are ſpeaking of; and leſt any pretend ignorance of parents ſtraights, and wants, verily you muſt look after that, and make ſure of that, that they do not lack any ſuitable ſupply, as 1 Tim. 5. 8, 16. Evinceth; and let men take heed they delude not themſelves this way. I may ſay as Solomon ſaid in another cauſe, Prov. 24. 12. If thou ſayeſt, behold, we knew it not; Doth not he that pondereth the heart conſider it, and he that keepeth thy ſoul doth not he know it, and ſhall not he render to every man according to his works? if Chriſt be ſo ſevere againſt neglect, and omiſſion of ſupply of miniſtring to his other needy, ſick, or impriſoned ones, as Matth. 25. 41. Depart from me ye curſed into everlaſting fire prepared for the Devill and his Angels, verſ. 42. For I (namely in my members, as verſ. 46. expoundeth it) was hungry, and ye gave me no meat, I was thirſty, and ye gave no drink, verſ. 43. I was a ſtranger, and ye took me not in, naked, and ye cloathed me not, ſick, and in priſon, and ye viſited me not: How dreadfully will he ſpeak to all and every one of you who are unnaturall, ingratefull Children, who have ſuffered your Chriſtian Parents to want ſuch ſupply, and help, as you might have miniſtred, but did it not?
And here alſo as ſubordinate to this particular reproved in children, we might reprove deboiſt youngſters, who by their diſſolute courſes waſt their eſtates, whereby they might have miniſtred to Parents wants afterwards, but by their own prodigality come to be diſinabled: But we ſhall leave them to conſider of 1 Cor. 6. 9, 10. and Prov. 23. 20, 21, 29. to the end, and Iſa. 5. 22. and verſe 11. unto verſe 18. and ſuch other Scriptures.
3. It ſerveth to abaſe ſuch of you, as any way 3. Such as ſteal away or waſt Parents eſtates.impair your Parents outward Eſtates, by ſtealing from them, as Prov. 28. 24. Who ſo robbeth his Father or his Motber, and ſaith it is no tranſgreſſion, is the Companion of a deſtroyer, or a deſtroying man, Heb. a Highway-ſide robber or aſſociate to them: inuring himſelf to pilfer ſmaller matters from Parents, Imagining or at leaſt pretending to himſelf or others, that there is no hurt, no great fault in that; he learneth the trade of thieving, and at length is an open practitioner thereof, and is a deſtroying man to himſelf at laſt: commeth to the Gallowes. This (as I may ſay) is the Geneſis of ſuch a youngſters courſe, and many a wretch at the Gallowes, hath made an anſwerable Analyſis of his lewd courſe, till he hath brought it up to this as the very head and beginning of it, they firſt began to pilfer this and that from their Father and Mother, elſe had never come to this ſad end. Michas thieving and ſtealing from his Mother received indeed a ſtop, Judg. 17. 1, 2. But he occaſioned his Mothers curſe, ibid. and ſo many ſuch like acts occaſion the like from other Parents. But ſay, you waſt not your Parents eſtates this way, if you do it by ſecret exceſſe in Drinking and Feaſting, or in gaming, or company-keeping, it is an evill requitall to your Parents, for all their care and paines, to lay up ſomewhat to mantain their children comfortably and honourably, and you thus baſely caſt it away, Prov. 16. 26. He that waſteth his Father, and chaſeth away his Mother, is a Son that cauſeth ſhame. Mothers, who, of the two, are the moſt tenderhearted towards their Children, yet even their hearts are alienated from children by ſuch vile courſes. Such profuſe miſpending of Fathers Eſtates, even chaſeth away a tender hearted Mother. But oh how farr doth it eſtrange the heart of the Lord himſelf, from any ſuch miſcreants as you are?
4. It ſerveth to abaſe ſuch of you as are cruel, 4. Such as are hard-hearted to their Brethren.or hard-hearted to your fellow brethren or ſiſters, like Edomites to the Iſraelites their kindred, not only looking on upon them in their Affliction, without ſuccouring of them, but ſpoyling of them themſelves, Obad. 12. 13, 14, &c. For which, the vengeance of God was then threatned, and afterwards executed upon them. Now ſuch ingratefull, unkind dealings with your Brethren, it is unkind requitall of your Parents, in Gods account. As Abimelech and the men of Shechem, raging ſo againſt his ſeventy Brethren, Judg. 9. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Its called wickedneſs done by Abimelech to his Father, and God accordingly avenged the ſame, by making Abimelech and the Shechemits, which were fellow-actours in that Inhumanity, to be mutuall executioners of divine Juſtice, each upon other, Judg. 9. 56. Thus God rendred the wickedneſſe of Abimelech which he did unto his Father in ſlaying his ſeventy Brethren. Unkindneſs to Children being ever reckoned, as unkindneſſe offered to Fathers. As the Edomites unkindneſs to the Iſraelites, is unkindneſs to Edoms Brother Jacob, Obad. 10. 11, &c. So when Joaſh dealt ſo unworthily with Zecheriah, good Jehoiadahs ſon, Its ſaid of it, 2 Chron. 24. 22. Thus Joaſh the King remembred not the kindneſſe which Jehoiada his Father had done to him, but ſlew his Son, &c.
5. Let it abaſe all ſuch of you as in any unnatural 5. Such as are treacherous, or inhumane to parents.way either betray your good Parents to perſecutors malice: of which, Matth. 13. 12. The Children ſhall cauſe the Parents to be put to death; which muſt needs be a double death to them (in a manner) as in a ſort that was to Chriſt, to be betrayed by one of his own Children (as it were) One of you (ſaith he to his Diſciples) ſhall betray one, Matth. 26. Or if you be any other waies inhumane towards your Parents, by ſtriking them, though not mortally: which God maketh death to ſuch monſters of mankind, Exod. 21. 15. He that ſtriketh Father or Mother ſhall die. And what then will be the doom of paricides, who ſtrike them mortally? Abſalom would have done it, … Sam. 16. 11. He ſought his Fathers life, and Senacheribs ſons did it, as he was worſhiping in the houſe of Niſroch his God, they ſmote him with the ſword, 2 King. 19. 37. Surely the Law, even all the Curſes and Judgments of the Law muſt needs be the portion of ſuch Paricides, 2 Tim. 1. 9. Who ſo ill requite their tender-hearted Parents and cauſes of their lives.
A ſecond uſe ſerveth for exhortation, 1. To 2. Uſe of exhortation.Parents.
Do you what lieth in you, to further, and look 1. To parents to further this gratitude in their Children. 1. By leaving them the choycer bleſſings of God.that you no way do any thing to hinder your children in this duty of gratefull recompencing of Parents; for which end,
1. Take ſpeciall care to leave your children the good bleſſings of God, reſpecting their ſouls welfare; for this will lie as a ſtrong ingagement upon your childrens hearts, the rather gratefully to recompence you, their Parents. Thus God required of them of old, that they ſhould ſo carry it, that they might leave the Land of Canaan, (a Type of bleſſings of an higher nature) for an inheritance to their Children for ever. The like is charged; 2 Chron. 28. 8. This was the gratious care of the Fathers of the two tribes and half, to detain their children in the way of Gods worſhip and fear, and to prevent whatſoever might hinder or diſcourage their poſterity from the ſame, Joſh. 22. 25, 26, 27, 28. And if we have not rather done it for fear of this thing, ſaying, in time to come your children might ſpeak to our Children, ſaying, what have you to do with the Lord God of Iſrael? yee have no part in the Lord; So ſhall your Children make our Children ceaſe from fearing the Lord. Therefore we ſaid, let us now prepare to build us an altar, not for burnt offerings, nor for ſacrifice: but that it may be a witneſſe between us and you, and our generations after us, that we might do the ſervice of the Lord before him, &c. This was Joſhuah's care alſo for his, Joſh. 24. 15. But as for me and my houſe, we will ſerve the Lord, And this was Abrahams care, Gen. 28. 29. I know him (ſaith the Lord) that he will command his Children, and houſehold after him, and they ſhall walk in his waies, that God may bring upon Abraham, (namely in his poſterity) what he hath promiſed him.
2. Uſe all lawfull meanes, induſtry, and providence to leave your Children in ſuch places, and 2. By leaving them inabling meanes and wayes for it.in ſuch callings, and (if it may be) with ſuch portions, that they may not alone be the more ingaged, but inabled alſo (in an ordinary way of providence) to diſcharge ſuch a duty of filial recompence to the utmoſt. Thus Jacobs care was to provide for his houſe, Gen. 30. 30. and he had children ſolicitous and induſtrious to provide for him, in his ſtraits, in that time of famine, witneſs, their journeyes for that end into Egypt, Gen. 42. and 43, and 44. But in a moſt eminent way it was ſeen in his Son Ioſeph: whoſe great care was that way, Gen. 45. 9. Thus ſaith thy Son Joſeph, Come down to me and tarry not, and verſ. 10. Thou ſhalt dwell in the land of Goſhen, and thou ſhalt be near to me, thou and thy Children, and thy Childrens Children, and thy flocks and herds, and all that thou haſt, verſ. 22. and there will I nouriſh thee (for yet there are five years of Famine) leſt thou and thy houſehold, and all that thou haſt, come to poverty.3. By diſtilling into Children principles of gratitude to others, and curbing the contrary in them.
3. Diſtil into your children principles of gratitude to others, eſpecially unto progenitors: So did Ruth into Obed her Son, whence that prophetical ſpeech of good women preſent at Obeds birth, which they ſpake to his Grandmother Naomi, Ruth 4. 15. He ſhall be to thee a reſtorer of thy life, and a nouriſher of thy old age: for thy Daughter-in-law, which loveth thee, (and therefore will be inſtructing him that way) hath born him. And if Parents perceive any expreſſions of an ungratefull Spirit in their Children, though towards others, let them be ſure to rebuke their children for it, and ſeaſonably to root up ſuch ſprouts, of ſo bad a Spirit. So did good Jethro in his Daughters, when they told him what kindneſs Moſes had done to them, Exod. 2. 19, 20. ſaith he to his Daughters, and where is he? why is it that ye left the man? call him, that he may eat bread.
4. Be you exemplary to your Children, in this 4. By being examples thereof to Children.gratefull recompence of your Parents. Hence alſo their Argument concerning Obed, that he would prove ſuch a pious child to his Grandmother Naomi, Ruth 4. 15. He will be a nouriſher of thy old age; For thy Daughter which loveth thee, which is better to thee then ſeaven ſons (and in her exemplary piety towards thee) hath born him. If children are continually taught by Parents examples of piety to their parents, as well as by their Inſtructions, to be thus pious, they will aſſuredly learn (as Pauls phraſe is,) 1 Tim. 5. 4. to ſhew piety at home, and to requite their Parents.
5. Be it far from you to be ſo ungracious towards 5. By avoiding any thing favouring of unnaturalneſs to them.your godly children, as not to ſhield off blowes from them, what in you lieth: like the Father and Mother of the blind man, leave him to ſhift for himſelf, with He is of years, let him anſwer for himſelf, John 9. 21, 22. So did not Joaſh; who in that honeſt cauſe of his ſon Gideon, ſtood in his defence, Iudg. 6. 31. Joaſh ſaid to all that ſtood by him againſt his Son, will you plead for Baal? will you ſave him? he that will plead for him let him be put to death whileſt it is yet morning, if he be a God, let him plead for himſelf, becauſe one hath caſt down his Altar. But much leſs, let any Parent requite good children ſo ill, as themſelves to undermine their childrens ſafety or liberty, Luke 21. 16. Yee ſhall be betrayed by Parents, &c.
2. It is of exhottation to children.2. Exhortation to Children gratefully to recompence Parents. Motives to it.
Be you ſtirred up to piety, and gratefull recompence to your Parents. And that you may be ſtirred up hereunto, beſides that it is honourable in the ſight of God, Angels and Men ſo to do, whence ſuch Records kept of gratefull Children, in honorem, as of Joſeph, and others, Conſider,
1. That by the very light of nature, it hath been 1. Naturall light.ſtrongly urged, and exemplarily practiſed, as we have hinted before.
Plato in his 8. Book de Republica, ſheweth, that a Child oweth to the Father, all things reſpecting his outward maintainance and comfort, as a recompence for his Birth and Education: and Tully ſaith, We are not born for our ſelves, but partly for our Country, partly for our Parents, and partly for our Children, &c.
2. Conſider, that thoſe that are not gratefull to 2. Elſe not gratefull to ones Country.their Parents, will never be grateful to their country, or ſelf-denying for its good. Hence that alſo of Tully, It conduceth much to the welfare of our country, that Children be pious to their Parents.
3. Conſider, that therefore the Lord inableth 3. Childrens abilities given for this end.you the rather with bodily ſtrength, with gifts and parts, with Eſtates, with advantageous places and callings, that you may be fit for ſuch a ſervice of gratefull recompence of your Parents. That bleſſed man Joſeph concludeth thus of all his great Preferments and Abilities, which God brought him to in Egypt, that it was all for this very end, Gen. 45. 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. God ſent me before your face (ſaith he to his Brethren) to preſerve you a poſterity in the earth, &c. So then it was not you that ſent me hither, but God; and he hath made me a Father to Pharaoh, and Lord of all his houſe, and a Ruler throughout all the Land of Egypt; Haſte you, and go up to my Father, and ſay to him, thus ſaith thy Son Joſeph, God hath made me Lord of all Egypt: Come down to me and tarry not, &c. And there will I nouriſh them, &c.
4. Conſider, that there is nothing loſt by what 4. Nothing is loſt by ityou do deny your ſelves in, out of gratitude to your Parents, but much gained every way thereby, 2 Tim. 5. 4. And to requite their Parents, for this is good and acceptable before God: Its good with the goodneſs of advantage, as well as honeſty, or honour before God: It is acceptable before God, and therefore ſurely moſt beneficiall from Helpes. 1. Serious meditations of what Parents have done for them.God to Children. And for your helps this way, It were good for you to think very much and often, and that with much ſeriouſneſs of intention of mind, upon the many unexpreſſible, invaluable, irrecompenſible benefits and kindneſſes which you have from your Parents. O when the people thought of that ſervice of love of Jonathan to them all, and ſhould any diſcourteſie be offered to ſuch a one, no by no means, 1 Sam. 14. 45. Shall Jonathan dye, who hath wrought this great Salvation in Iſrael? God forbid. So in like ſort the thoughts of what good Parents have been inſtruments of to Children, they will cruſh temptations to ingratitude, and provoke to gratitude. Beſides, be you conſcious in giving your Parents 2. Give their other honour of Reſpect, Reverence, & Obedience.their due honour of Reſpect, Reverence, and Obedience, and then there is no doubt, but you will be put upon it, to give them this other part alſo of direct Honour, even the Honour of Recompence; Cautious. Let it be with greateſt 1. Bowels.only look to it, that what you do this way in gratefull Rccompence to Parents,
1. That it be with greateſt bowels and tenderneſs: Parents did ſo in miniſtring to you what you wanted, do you repay them like for like.
2. That it be with greateſt meekneſs and patience, 2. Meekneſs.bearing with frailties, and waywardneſs of age; as Parents did with waywardneſs, in miniſtring to you in infancy and child-hood, ſo repay them like for like.
3. That it be with much humility, ſtooping to the meaneſt offices of love for them: as Parents did 3. Humility.for you, whil'ſt little, do you herein repay them like for like.
To conclude, Children may alſo diſcern their Marks of right doing it.conſcientious piety to Parents.
1. If when you your ſelves are in diſconſolate, 1. If when Children in ſaddeſt conditions are cordially ſollicitous of Parents help.yea deſolate conditions, yet you are then very cordially carefull of your Parents outward welfare: as David of his Parents ſafety with the King of Moab, 2 Sam. 22. when himſelf is as an outlaw, or as it was with the Son of David, when upon the Croſſe, in all that ſorrow and pain, &c. yet how carefull was he, that his poor Mother be provided well for? Joh. 19. 26, 27. Man (ſaith he to John) behold thy Mother.
2. If your effectuall care of your parents 2. When carefull this way in married conditions.comfortable beeings, be not alone in your ſingle conditions, whil'ſt unmarried, but flouriſh when you are marryed. So it did in Joſeph, in David, in Ruth and others.
3. If when you are in a very high and more honourable 3. When carefull this way in higheſt conditions.place than parents, then you be nouriſhers of them, yea if you are perſwaded in your very hearts, that God the rather exalted you thus for your parents ſakes, that in their ſtraights, you might have abundantly and ſufficiently to ſupply them withall, and the rather do it. Thus it was in Joſephs caſe, he thought that God made him a Lord in all the Land of Egypt, to preſerve his Father, and his houſhold alive, in that time of famine, and upon that ground ſends to him to come to him, promiſing to nouriſh him, Gen. 45. 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. and accordingly he did it, Gen. 47. 12. And Joſeph nouriſhed his Father, and his brethren, and all his Fathers houſhold, with bread, according to their Families. To conclude this with that memorable ſpeech of Cyrus mentioned by Plutarch in his Apothegms; he uſed to ſay (and that which is the truth) he is not fit to rule over others, who is not profitable to his parents.