A Care Cloth, Treatise · Chapter 6
CHAP. VI. Containing the ſecond vſe.
Ʋſe 2 ANd this is one vſe to the vnmarried, ariſing from the conſideration of this point,To the vnmarried. that they may lawfully marrie, from which alſo there followeth vntounto them a ſecnd inſtruction, to wit, that ſeeing they may lawfully marry, they take care to marry lawfully: for euen a ſinleſſe action, may be made ſinne, to him that doth it in a ſinfull manner. When Paul affirmeth; If thou marrieſt, thou ſinneſt not: He meaneth this, of marriage it ſelfe; in it ſelfe conſidered, nor alſo of the manner and other circumſtances of marriage: for in theſe, whoſoeuer diſorders themſelues, doth ſin grieuouſly, though marriage it ſelfe be not ſinne. Let vsus therefore propound ſome neceſſarie directions, which if the vnmarried obſerue, in the making of their marriage, they may bee ſure to doe this lawfull worke lawfully. And, forbearing to mention thoſe, which are common to al actions (viz. that the doer be in Chriſt, doe them in faith, ayme at the right end, and ſuch like) let vsus name alone thoſe that doe particularly concerne this preſent matter.Two things neceſſarie, that a man may marrie lawfully: firſt, in the perſons to be married: ſecondly, ſufficient diſtance of blood. Whoſoeuer then is yet vnmarried, and would be ſure to marrie lawfully, muſt hauehave ſpeciall care of two things: Firſt, that he marry with a fit perſon: Secondly, that if he hauehave parents, he take their conſent with him. Now, in the perſons to be thus ioyned, three properties are requiſite; the firſt two being ſo abſolutely needfull, that without them, marriage is no marriage, but alone in name: the third, in ſuch a degree needfull, that it cannot be neglected, without great ſinne againſt God. Of theſe three, the firſt is, ſufficient diſtance in bloud and affinitie; the ſecond entire freedome from all other perſons; the laſt, agreement in the ſame true Religion. For the firſt of theſe, the Lord hath expreſly prohibited men and women, to come neere any the kindred of their fleſh. Whoſoeuer therfore preſumeth to be ioyned to any ſuch, doth nothing elſe, but cloake the foule ſin of Inceſt, with the faire title of Matrimony. And becauſe affinitie is a ſhadow and reſemblance of kindred (for by marriage, two become one fleſh) therefore alſo, ſome are debarred marriage together, in that reſpect. Now this matter of conſanguinitie and affinitie will be cleared, by the due obſeruation of theſe briefe and plaine rules following.Rules for the clearing of the queſtions about affinitie and conſanguinitie. Firſt, No man or woman may lawfully marrie any of thoſe, that touch them in a direct line vpwards or downeward, to all generations. As Adam, if he were aliue, and a Widdower, might not lawfully marry any woman in all the world, neither might Euah, if the were aliue and a widdow, bee lawfully married to any man. The reaſon is, becauſe in all theſe, the ſame blood doth run along ſtill vndeuided, and ſo they are properly the kindred of their fleſh. Secondly, No man or woman may lawfully marrie the brother, or ſiſter of any his ſucceſſors, or predeceſſors in a direct line, to all generations. So Abel, being Seths brother (of whom all the women in the world are directly proceeded) might not, if he were aliue, marry any woman in the world. So the brother of a womans father or grandfather, or great grandfather, may not lawfully marry that woman. The roaſon of this is alſo plaine: for the brother and ſiſter of ones father or mother, is to him or her in place of a father and mother. And in theſe alſo the ſame blood remaineth vndeuided; for brothers and ſiſters are one and the ſame blood. Thirdly, No man or woman may lawfully marrie his or her naturall brother, or ſiſter, either by the whole, or by the halfe blood. As neither Ruben that had the ſame father and mother, nor Ioſeph that had alone the ſame father, might lawfully marrie Dinah their ſiſter.
Fourthly, What man is ſo neere in blood to the husband, that he might not lawfully marry him, if the ſex did ſerue; him neither may the wife marry after her husbands death; and ſo contrarily. So I might not marrie mine vncle (if I were a woman;) therfore if I were dead, my wife might not lawfully bee married to mine vncle: ſo my wife, if ſhe were a man, might not lawfully marrie her ſiſter; therefore if my wife were dead, I might not lawfully marrie her ſiſter, of which the reaſon is plaine, husband and wife are one fleſh, and therefore with what perſons kindred would not ſuffer one of them to marrie, neither will affinitie ſuffer the other. But whatſoeuer perſons are not by theſe foure rules debarred from matrimony each with other, they may lawfully marry together without ſcruple, ſo farre as I can diſcerne. OnelyOnly for this matter, I referre eueryevery man, to the table of degrees authorized by our Church, and publikely ſet vp in euerie of our Churches. And ſo much of the firſt thing required in the perſons that ſhall bee linked in wedlocke.
The ſecond is likewiſe to be ſpoken of,Secondly freedome from all other perſons. and it is the freedom of both parties frō any other: for if any man take a woman, who is either eſpouſed, or wedded to another man, is it not plaine, that he takes his neighbours wife? and therefore in ſhew, liues in marriage, but indeed liues in adulterie. The Lord would hauehave men and women enter into matrimonie, as it were leaſurely and with deliberation: and for this cauſe it is his ordinance, that the couenant ſhould bee perfected betwixt them in two degrees; the one is Eſpouſall, or betrothment, which they call, Making ſure, and is nothing elſe but a giuing the right of each others bodies, by a ſolemne and ſerious promiſe of marriage hereafter to be conſummated: the other is Wedding, called alſo by the name of Marriage, and is nothing but a giuing of the poſſeſſion of each others bodies, by a ſolemne and ſerious promiſe to liue together during life.
Now the Scripture, in the two and twentieth Chapter of Deuteronomie,Deut. 22.22, 23, 24. doth as well call the betrothed woman, a wife of him that betrothed her, as the wedded woman, of him that wedded her; and doth appoint a betrothed maide to die for violating her eſpouſals, by lying with another man afterwards, as well as the wedded wife, for violating wedlocke: ſo it is manifeſt, that if any man or woman hauehave betrothed him, or her ſelfe to any one perſon, it is become now vtterly vnlawful for them, to marrie with any other perſon, vnleſſe the contract be lawfully diſſolued (by the falling out, or reuealing of ſome thing after the contract, which may diſanull it:) as Ioſeph ſuppoſing Marie to hauehave been with child by ſome other (before his eſpouſing her) now that he found her to be bigbellyed, reſolued to put her away. And it is much more manifeſt, that he or ſhe which hauehave been married to another perſon, are bound by the Law, ſo long as ſuch perſon liueth: ſo that if they marrie any other, they ſhal commit adulterie, as the Apoſtle tels vsus in expreſſe termes. But thirdly,Rom. 17.2.3. Identitie of Religion. no man or woman of the true Religion, may lawfully marrie together, with thoſe of a falſe;1. Cor. 7. laſt. as Chriſtians with Turkes or Pagans: as Paul alſo telleth the woman, whoſe husband is dead, that ſhe is at libertie to marrie whom ſhee will, but onelyonly in the Lord; and ſhe marries not in the Lord, if ſhe marrie one that is not of the true Religion of our Lord.2. Cor. 6.14. Yea, Saint Paul doth abſolutely forbid the being vnequally yoked with Infidels, asking, What communion the Temple of God can hauehave with Idols? Which prohibition, if it bee not to be vnderſtood onelyonly of being yoked with them in matrimonie, yet at leaſt, as a generall, muſt include that particular, and principally that, as being the principall yoking together that is. It is not good plowing with an Oxe and an Aſſe, as alſo the Law did typically forewarne. And theſe things are required, in regard of the perſons contracting matrimonie.
It is further neceſſarie,Secondly, that if they hauehave Pa rems, they hauehave Parents conſent. that ſuch ſingle perſons as hauehave Parents, and are vnderunder their tution, be matched together by their conſent. A ſonne or daughter honour not their Parents, if they preſume to match themſelues, without the priuitie or good liking of their Parents, vnleſſe their Parents forfeie this part of their authoritie, by abuſing it, in not ſuffering them to marrie in the Lord, but offering to force them marrie againſt the will of God, or elſe to abide vnmarried. No gift of any thing is good, vnleſſe all thoſe perſons that are intereſſed into the thing giuen, doe giuegive their conſent, as reaſon doth euince: for no man can paſſe away anothers right, without his liking. Now, the father hath intereſt into his child, as into his goods: for God allowed, that the children alſo ſhould bee ſold to pay his debts; which had been a moſt vniuſt thing, if the Parents had not had as much intereſt into them, as to any other part of their ſubſtance. Therefore marriage being a contract of giuing and receiuing, the childs giuing of himſelfe, mee thinks, ſhould be of ſmall force, without the Parents good will, who hauehave ſo chiefe a right into him. Surely thoſe whom God hath not ioyned, are not lawfully ioyned. Now God ioyneth men alone two wayes, either mediately, or immediately. Immediately hee ioyneth not any in our times, therefore if they be not by him ioyned mediately, they bee either vnioyned, or ill ioyned. Now, vnleſſe their Parents giuegive conſent, they cannot bee ſaid to bee ioyned by God mediately: for why, when God hath put any perſon, as it were, in his roome, as his aſſignes to doelany thing, it is not done by him, vnleſſe that perſon doe it, whom he hath ſo authorized. And the Scripture doth manifeſtly giuegive this power to Parents, when it ſaith to them, GiueGive your daughters to ſonnes, and take daughters for your ſonnes. And againe: You ſhall not giuegive your ſonnes to their daughters, nor take their daughters to your ſonnes. Therefore, me thinkes, it followes vndeniably, that whom the Parents ioyne not, God doth not ioyne; and ſo their marriage is ſinfull, and their liuing together very filthineſſe and vncleanneſſe, vntill by ſubmiſſion they hauehave procured an after-conſent, to ratifie that, which ought not to hauehave been done before the conſent. And theſe bee the things which vnmarried men and women muſt principally looke vntounto; all which we ſumme vp in this briefe manner: A man or woman, with the conſent of Parents (if there be any aliue) marrying a free perſon of the ſame true Religion, not touching him or her in too neere degrees of kindred or aſſinitie, marrieth lawfully, and may ſay, as Paul, I hauehave married, and not ſinned. Thus the vnmarried hauehave heard their inſtructions.