A Care Cloth, Treatise · Chapter 7
CHAP. VII. Containing a third vſe to them that are married.
Vſe 3 WE muſt ſay ſomething alſo to thoſe that are alreadie married,To the married. whom it behoueth ſowel to informe themſelues by this and other Scriptures, of the lawfulneſſe of their ſociety, that they may both holily and with good conſcience, enioy this ordinance, and alſo fence themſelues ſo much the more ſtrongly againſt all wandring and inordinate deſires. All creatures muſt bee ſanctified to the vſers, by the Word of God, and by Prayer: and how ſinleſſe ſoeuer any thing is in it ſelfe, yet doth hee ſinfully abuſe it, that careth not in this ſort to ſanctifie it. Now that is ſanctified to a man by the word, whereof his conſcience is truly informed by the teſtimony of the Scriptures, that it is warrantable & welpleaſing vntounto God, ſo that he can doe it with an heart, reſting it ſelfe in this aſſurance, that God is not offended the rewith. And by prayer that is ſanctified, for the vſing of which, a man doth humbly beg the fauourable and gracious leaue of the Lord, that he may not by his ſinnes, be excluded the comfort of Gods benefits; but through the grace of God forgiuing his ſinnes, may enioy his libertie, and the comfort of the creature. And that is ſanctified by thanksgiuing, for which the vſer (taking notice of Gods goodneſſe and wiſdome, and other excellencies) doth returne the tribute of prayſe vntounto him, aſcribing all honour and greatneſſe to him, as to the fountaine of all comfort. Now ſeeing he that is married, hath not ſinned in marrying, let him ſanctifie this lawfull ordinance vntounto himſelfe, that hee may bee ſure to find the bleſſing of God vponupon it, and vponupon himſelfe. A man may truly ſay, He that eateth, ſinneth not; yet if any man eate profanely (not conſidering that God hath vouchſafed him the freedome of partaking in his benefits; not praying God for his bleſſing; nor returning prayſe vntounto him for his goodneſſe,) he ſhall ſinne in ſo eating. The like muſt needs bee ſaid of marriage, which being a lawfull ordinance, is much abuſed, if it bee not vſed (as all lawfull things ſhould) in an holy manner: for ſinleſſe things vnſanctified, doe become ſinnes. And this is the rather to be preſſed vponupon mens conſciences, becauſe the neglect of it is very dangerous, cauſing matrimony to be ineffectual for its proper ends, for want of Gods bleſſing; which, how can we hauehave, if wee doe not craue it? A profane and licentious taking of good things at Gods hand, doth as much offend him, as wee are offended at the rude and vnmannerly behauiour of our ſeruants, when they come to receiue a good turne or gift from our hands, whereby wee are cauſed ſo to giuegive them the thing, as that wee doe alſo ſharpely rebuke them for their vndecent carriage. Things are not truly comfortable to the ſoule, neither doe they afford that ſpirituall fruit to a mans heart, which elſe they would, when his heart is ſo carnall, that he regardeth not to vſe them ſpiritually. If marriage be looſely vſed, it will diſpoſe a man to more looſeneſſe, and inflame thoſe paſſions, which it ſhould quench: it will breed a ſacietie and diſlike of each other in the married, and make their affections to ſtraggle, ſo as they would rather accept of ſtrangers then themſelues. If marriage bee holily vſed, it will indeare the yoke-fellowes each to other, it will keepe their deſires in order, and cauſe that they ſhall be well ſatisfied each in other, as in Gods gifts. Neither can there bee any one truer reaſon rendred, of the little good affection that paſſeth betwixt many husbands and wiues, and of the little comfort they take each in other, then becauſe they abuſe Gods ordinance; and why ſhould he bleſſe it? Let it therefore bee obſerued (by all thoſe that would keepe a good conſcience in all things, and doe deſire to approue themſelues honourers and fearers of God in their verie ſoules) that as wel marriage as food, muſt be made lawfull and profitable to them, by the Word and Prayer. And let it be alſo further vrged vponupon the conſcience of the married, (that which nature it ſelfe will teach them,) that ſeeing the Lord is pleaſed to allow them marriage, they ſhould obediently accept of his allowance, and not imbolden themſelues, for their filthy luſts ſake, to take forbidden pleaſures. If God, hauing planted in man that naturall inclination which hee hath planted, for the increaſe of the world, ſhould hauehave debarred him matrimonie, it had been doubtleſſe an vniuſt rigor in God, and would hauehave much extenuate mans offences in that kind: but when he hath giuen an husband and a wife each to other, and commanded them to leaue all others, and cleaue vntounto themſelues; now what excuſe hauehave they to alleage for their ſinne? Therefore let all married perſons reſolue to liue chaſtly, elſe ſhall the lawfulneſſe of matrimonie extremely aggrauate the ſinfulneſſe of their impuritie: for why ſhouldſt not thou (O man) be ſatisfied with thine owne wife, and thou (O woman) with thine owne husband? By taking Gods gift in marriage, thou neither rebelleſt againſt him, nor woundeſt thy conſcience, nor defileſt another, nor polluteſt thy ſelfe, nor breakeſt thy couenant, nor wrongeſt thy family, nor tranſgreſſeſt the Lawes of men, nor diſhoneſteſt thy name, nor procureſt any other euill: But in imbracing a ſtranger, thou bringeſt infamie one thy name, a curſe vponupon thy poſteritie, a ſinne vponupon thy ſoule, and wrongeſ at once, God, the Church, the Commonweale, thy yoke-fellow, thy ſelfe, and many others moe. Ah, why ſhould a fooliſh and vnreaſonable fancy, ſo farre tranſport a man that hath vnderſtanding, as when the Lord affords him an honeſt, lawfull, blameleſſe, harmeleſſe, content; he ſhould neglect that, and preferre before it, a reprochful, diſhoneſt, wicked, and banefull pleaſure? As if a man, ſeeing two cups of wine, and know the one to bee wholeſome and vnmixed, ſhould let that ſtand ſtill, and drinke of another, which himſelfe did know to be poyſoned alone, becauſe the cup, perhaps, that contained the poyſon, were finelier wrought on the out-ſide. Or as if a man hauing ſufficient ſtore of money in his owne theſt, would not make vſe of that to buy neceſſaries, but goe and rob for it by the high-way ſide, that he might ſpend another mans money. The adulterer is a needleſſe thiefe, to whom it is no reaſon that any fauour ſhould be ſhewed. He may be compared to the man, that hauing ſtoe of Deere in his owne Parke, would yet needs ſteale a Buck out of his neighbours ground, becauſe hee was ſo folliſh as to glorie in his ſhame, and to bragge, that hee durſt ſteale one: What pitie could a man ſhew to ſuch an one, if either he ſhould miſcarry in his ſtealing, or bee ſeuerely puniſhed for his ſtealing? So the adulterer, that hauing a lawfull wife at home, ſhall giuegive his vnlawfull luſts ſcope to range abroad, to the wines or daughters of other men, is worthie all ſharpeneſſe of puniſhment, as a man that hath hearkened to the oration of fooliſh folly, which perſwades her gueſts, ſaying, Stolne waters are ſweete, and hidden bread is pleaſant. But farre, farre be it from any Chriſtian man or woman, to poiſon and deſtroy themſelues with ſuch pleaſant bread, or ſweete waters. The pleaſures of filthineſſe are like the bread of deceite, which giueth a delightful relliſh in the mouth, but is nothing elſe but verie grauell in the belly. Thou haſt ſolemnely promiſed before God, the Angels, and the Church, that forſaking all other, thou wilt keepe thee onelyonly to thine owne yoke-fellow. Seeing God hath allowed thee this comfort, wallow not ſinfully in forbidden pleaſures. And for the lawfulneſſe of marriage, ſo much. I come now to ſpeake of its troubleſomneſſe, which few will beleeue, till they find; and few can beare, when they hauehave found.