A Care Cloth, Treatise · Chapter 8
CHAP. VIII. Containing the third point.
Doct. 3 HEare then what the Apoſtle foretelleth to you that wil marrie; Such ſhal hauehave trouble in the fleſh. Firſt, in their whole outward eſtate. Whoſoeuer marries, muſt looke for more trouble and aduerſitie, then in ſingle eſtate. Marke all, and bee perſwaded; for it Paul were not deceiued, you ſhall all find it true. The married eſtate is more encumbred with troubles and afflictions, then the vnmarried. The man and woman that ioyne themſelues in matrimony, ſhall commonly meete with more aduerſitie outward, then whileſt they continued without Matrimonie. The Apoſtles words are euident; hee doth in manner ingage his word, affirming and foretelling prophetically, Such ſhall hauehave trouble in the fleſh. You muſt conceiue him to write as a reaſonable man, to ſuch as were alſo reaſonable, and therefore to meane comparatiuely; elſe it were eaſie to reiect his argument in this wiſe: Paul, you dehort vsus from marrying, not becauſe it is ſinne, but becauſe we ſhall find trouble in it; why, doe you not know, that the ſingle life hath alſo its thornes and briers? I doe (would Paul anſwere) but my meaning was, that this eſtate doth outwardly bring more trouble, for elſe I had vſed an vnforcible argument, and ſpoken little to the purpoſe. You muſt therefore conceiue the Apoſtles meaning to be, as hath been ſaid, if the ſtate of marriage, and of ſingle life be compared together in ſuch reſpect, the former is the more troublous. Proofes are needleſſe in a manifeſt and expreſſe truth: but, I will ſhew you the cauſe why it is ſo, and after, ſtand a little ore largely in deſcribing vntounto you the chiefe troubles of marraige.
Reaſ. The cauſe then is ſinne; ſinne (I ſay) the makebate betwixt God and man, which with-drawing the creature from his loyaltie to the Creator, cauſeth the Creator in iuſtice to with-draw his fauour from the creature, and in ſtead thereof, to purſue him with his curſe. This curſe, as it made the frutifull earth to bring forth briers and thornes (which elſe ſhould neuer hauehave afforded ſuch vnprofitable and hurtfull increaſe) ſo hath alſo filled all eſtates with ſtirres and confuſions, as it were, brambles. Wherefore as any eſtate doth occaſion any perſon to intermeddle with more buſineſſes, and with more perſons; ſo is it alſo moleſted with more troubles, through the vnhappie working of the actuall corruptions of all parties (to the annoyance of each other) vnreaſonably diſcouering themſelues. If man had continued in his due loyaltie towards his King and Maker, neither Matrimonie, nor any other condition of life ſhould hauehave diſquieted him with any the leaſt touch of miſerie. But juſtice requireth, that Rebels and rebellion bee puniſhed. Sinne is the ſore ſawce that diſtaſteth all our comforts; this is like the Colloquintida in the pot of pottage, which the Prophets ſeruants had made, that cauſed the eaters to crie out, Death is in the pot. This is that ſtinking weed, which diſſauours all our ſweete flowres: This is the imbitterer of all eſtates, bringing forth ſuch, and ſo many diſorders in men and women, as make them to bring forth trouble each to other. In marriage, a man is ingaged to more buſineſſes and duties, then before; occaſioned to deale with more humours, then before; and to ſtand in need of more things, then before; ſo will ſinne and corruption ſhew it ſelfe more, then before; and ſo muſt he meete with more affliction, then before. This I ſpeake, to free both God, the Author of Marriage; as alſo Marriage, his ordinance, from all manner of blame and accuſations. For if all the hardneſſe wherewith we be moleſted, doe grow from our ſinne, and our ſinne ariſe from Satans temptation, and the abuſe of our owne free will, as all theſe things are moſt vndoubted and certaine, why ſhould God be faulted for our miſerie, ſeeing hee made vsus not miſerable, til we had made ourſelues ſinfull? And why ſhould any eſtate of life be blamed for our miſerie, ſeeing if wee were not ſinners in it, we ſhould not reape any miſerie from it?
Take notice then of the true cauſe of all the cumbers,An explication to the point. which incumber married people; and ſecondly, let mee informe you alſo, at leaſt of ſome, and the chiefe troubles of marriage, which you muſt know, that you may expect them; and expect them, that you may prepare for them; and prepare for them, that you may not be made impatient by them; and by impatiencie, make them much more cumbrous, then elſe they need to be. Theſe doe all ariſe from foure maine heads: The perſons married, their children, their ſeruants, and their eſtates; of all which a man might ſpend more then foure dayes in ſpeaking, it taking counſell of experience, he would borrow a little help of Rhetorick, to ſet out the matters to the full; but I will alone touch them, and away. Euerie man and woman hauehave their faults: thoſe will breede trouble: they may bee ſicke, and that is another trouble: one of the two die firſt, and leaue the other behind, and that is to ſome the worſt of all troubles. In the ſoules of men there breed vices; in their bodies, diſeaſes; and at laſt, death; and the fruit of all theſe muſt needs be griefe and ſorrow each to other. Some men are churliſh, ſowre, & vnkind; ſome, wrathfull, paſſionate, and furious; ſome hard, miſerable, and niggardly; ſome waſtefull, riotous, and vnthriftie; ſome vncleane, vnſatiable, and ranging after other women; ſome ſuſpiciious, miſtruſtfull, and iealous of their owne wiues; ſome raſh and hare-brain'd; ſome fond and giddie; ſome ſimple; ſome ſubtill; ſome idle; ſome toyleſome; ſome carking; ſome careleſſe; yea, twentie, and twice twentie ſinfull and offending diſpoſitions, ſhew themſelues in all the ſonnes of Adam; and what woman can meete with a man in all the world, in whom ſome or other of theſe diſorders doe not dwell? Nature and education may hide them out of the way, that they ſhall not bee ſeene; Grace and ſanctification may in part ſubdue them, that they ſhall not reigne: but neither nature, nor grace, ſhall quite and cleane aboliſh them, that they ſhall not bee; and to obtaine an husband free from all of them (yea, not ſubiect to more then one, two, or three of them,) it is altogether impoſſible; and as impoſſible to liue with one that hath them (though neuer ſo much mortified, as the ſtate of men on earth can reach) and not be troubled, & exceedingly troubled with them, as to go bare-foot vponupon a ricke of thornes or furres, and not bee pricked and pained with them.
In like ſort, ſome women are proud, arrogant, and ſcornefull; ſome, violent, headſtrong, and maſterfull; ſome, ſullen and dogged; ſome, ſcolding and ſnappiſh; ſome, talkatiue; ſome, tongue-tied; ſome, light; ſome, coy; ſome, finiſh; ſome, ſluttiſh; ſome, ouer-ſpending; ſome, ouer-ſparing; ſome, lewd and vnchaſte; ſome, raging and iealous: yea, an hundred, and a thouſand faults, doe lie hid in the painted box of the boſome of euerie of Euahs daughters. Good bringing vp may conceale them; good inſtructions may diminiſh; and good nature, for a while, may keep them vnderunder, and keepe them ſecret: yea, the worke of grace may mortifie, quell, and ouer-maſter them; but nothing can altogether roote them out, ſo long as fleſh and ſpirit do ſtriue together in one ſoule; that is, ſo long as ſoule and bodie doe liue together in this life. A woman void of ſome, yea, diuers of theſe faults and follies, no care, no paines, no diligence, can helpe a man vntounto; and from trouble by theſe faults, where they hauehave a being, and a working: no wiſdome, no louelove, no pietie, can altogether free him, more then from being ſtung by the handling of Nettles with naked hands. It were good therefore for the woman that is to marrie, to put her ſelfe in mind of theſe things before-hand, and to demand of her ſelfe in theſe, or the like queſtions: What if mine husband ſhould proue vnkind, and diſregardfull of me? What if hee ſhould bee bitter and ragefull towards me? What if hee ſhould rate me with words of diſgrace, more then euer my Father or Maſter hauehave done? What if hee ſhould lay vponupon me with his vnmanlike fiſt? and that when I ſeeke to giuegive him all content? Or what if he ſhould ſtrike mee with a more paineful and miſchieuous weapon, though I gaue him no cauſe? How ſhould I beare railing, taunting, or cutting termes, at his mouth? How cruell, fierce, and cauſeleſſe blowes at his hand? But yeeld that he proue not ſo mad, and mankind; How if it fall out yet, that he be careleſſe and vnkind? What if hee denie me the reaſonable libertie which I deſire, and ſhould enioy? and will not ſuffer me to hauehave my wil in things conuenient? How if he ſhew me a lowring countenance, and an eſtranged carriage, and that alſo vndeſeruedly? How if he grumble and grudge at mine expences, though farre from being lauiſh and immoderate? What if hee bee toyleſome himſelfe, and put me alſo to harder labour, then euer I endured, being a daughter or a ſeruant? What if he thinke much to allow me neceſſarie helpes and comforts, in my weakeneſſe, ſickneſſes, and lying in, and be then moſt vnkind, when I need moſt kindnes, becauſe his niggardly humour can beare no charges? Or what if he bee diuers, and tetchie, ſo that nothing in the world can pleaſe him, but he will ſtill be brawling, chiding, and finding fault, though I bee as carefull as I can, to ekepe my ſelfe from faults? Or what if he proue a voluptuarie, a drunkard, an epicure, ſpending that riotouſly, and waſtefully, which were better ſaued, to prouide for me and his children? What if he be an haunter of Alehouſes, or Tauernes, and come home half drunk, halfe mad, and powre forth all his rage vponupon me and my innocent children? What if he conſume himſelfe in ſports, paſtimes, and gaming, and make vsus all beggers by his vnthriftineſſe? How could I ſuffer all, or any of theſe troubles, in the fleſh? How tedious? How bitter? How terrible would they ſeeme vntounto me? Or, What if out of an hatefull ouer-louingneſſe, hee make himſelfe ſuſpicious of mine honeſtie, and (in a furious and blind apprehenſion of, I know not what, ſlender probabilities) bee euer vpbraiding mee with being ſuch a mans whore, and ſuch a mans whore? How keene? How cutting? How ſtinging? How piercing would theſe termes be vntounto me? But, ah, what if he ſhould become vncleane and filthie? giuen to whoredome, imbracing the boſome of ſtrangers, and bringing home vntounto me the feare, if not the feeling of loathſome diſeaſes? How ſhould I vndergoe this heauie burden, which yet I ſee many compeld to vndergoe without remedie? Thus ſhould the woman conſider before-hand in her thoughts, the euils that may be fall her in marriage.
So like wiſe ſhould the husband bethink himſelfe in his moſt ſerious thoughts: What if my wife ſhould proue careleſſe, and vnhuſwifely, wanting forecaſt and skill to make the beſt of things, and ſo become an hindrance, rather then an helper to mine eſtate? What if ſhe bee daintie and lauiſh, and will not content her ſelfe with mine attire and my fare? What if ſhee bee ſluttiſh and vncleanely, and worke loathing in mee, by the ill ordering of thoſe things that ſhould giuegive me moſt comfort? What if ſhe bee froward and ſnappiſh, and returne my words vntounto mee with aduantage? What if ſhee proue a blab, and withall inquiſitiue, ſo that ſhe will bee ignorant of nothing, and yet can keepe no counſell? What if ſhe be ſullen, and ſowre, and will giuegive me no good counenance, vnleſſe ſhe hauehave her vnreaſonable will performed in all things? What if ſhe waſte my goods in vaine, coſtlineſſe of attire, and in idle meetings amongſt her Goffips? What if ſhe be looſe and wanton, and diſcredit my family with an euill name? What if ſhe be a very harlot, and defile my bed, and fill mine houſe with baſtards, ſo that I bee faine to breed vp y• ſeed of an adulterer, in ſtead of mine owne off-ſpring? What if ſhe be miſchieuouſly iealous, and thinke that I am naught with all I ſpeake to, laying whoredome to my charge, when I neuer meant it, and almoſt inforce me to bee wicked, by putting that into mine head, which I neuer dreamt of? How ſhould I brooke this life? How ſhould I ſuſtaine this burden, and vndergoe this trouble to the fleſh? And this for the vices of the mind, whereby many times a bad husband, or a bad wife, doe vexe and torment their yoke-fellow.
But if the mind be not infected with theſe inward diſeaſes, yet may the bodie proue weake and ſickly, and become little leſſe trouble ſome. Wherefore of this alſo ſhould the woman conſider well before-hand, and ſo ſhould the man. What if mine husband ſhould languiſh away in paine and ſickneſſe, ſo that my life muſt be ſpent in attending a body ſtill dying, and as it were, vnderunder-propping a rotten houſe alwaies falling? What if he lye thus by me groning, and toſſing, many dayes, weekes, moneths, and ſome yeeres? How ſhal I vndergoe the watching, attendance, charge, griefe, diſcomfort of an husband, neither dead nor aliue, but betwixt both? Or for mine owne part, What if breeding be roubleſome, ſo that I ſcarce enioy an healthie day from conception to quickning, from quickning to trauel? What if bringing forth be ſo tedious and painefull, that I neuer become a mother, but by going thorow the torment of an hundred deaths in one, beſides a long weakeneſſe after? What if God multiply my ſorrowes this way, and giuegive me an euill ſtomacke, pale cheekes, a wan counenance, faint legs, and a feeble body, liker a carceſſe, then a liuing woman? How ſhall I beare head-ach, heart-ach, back-ach, ſtomack-ach, etching, caſting, longing, loathing, quawmes, pangs, ſwoundings, and twentie deaths a day?
The husband alſo ſhould thinke thus: How if my wife become infirme and feeble, lame, impotent, powerleſſe, able neither to got, nor keepe, to labour, nor ouer-fee, nor to doe any thing, but groane, and ſigh, and hold her ſides, and keepe her bed, to mine exceſſiue charge and griefe, without being any way able to be an help and comfort vntounto mee? With what patience ſhould I heare her groanes? With what quietneſſe ſhould I looke vponupon her pangs, and euen be ſicke in her ſickneſſe? But in concluſion, death wil approach, and diuorce the husband and wife each from other, of which, either ſhould thinke before it come to either, yea, before themſelues come together: How can I tell (may the wife ſay,) but that if I be married to this husband, hee may leaue me the mother of ſome children, and nwo great with another, and (ſending his ſoule to heauen) giuegive me alone his cold corpſe to put into the earth? How ſhall I doe to ſee the breath goe out of that beloued body? How ſhall I endure to ſee thoſe eyes clozed, and all thoſe lims and ioynts now vnderunder the arreſt of death? How ſhould I beare the deſolate name of a widdow? of one that had an husband? where the croſſe is aggrauated by the goodneſſe of him, whom I hauehave loſt?
So muſt the husband thinke: What if either in trauaile, or otherwiſe, the Lord do take away my deare wife from my ſide? What if ſhe liue with me but a few dayes, and then death come and make an irrecouerable ſeparation? How ſhall I behold thoſe cheekes wan, thoſe lips black, thoſe hands cold, that body breathles and liueleſſe, and fit for none other habitation, but that of wormes, the darke graue, the Kingdome of corruption, the territorie of rottennes? How ſhall I lay that beloued body, forſaken of the more beloued ſoule, into the bowels and entrals of the all deuouring ſepulchre? Indeed, brethren, ſo farre as I ſee, now adayes men and women can well enough anſwer to theſe queſtions: for they can burie and marrie, and all in a monethmonth, an haſtineſſe deſeruing to bee deepely cenſured. But if thou louelove thine husband; if thouloue thy wife, how canſt thou brooke this finall ſeparation? But we goe forward, to ſhew you the troubles you may meete with, in reſpect of children.
Sometimes barrenneſſe doth cloze vp the wombe, and ſuffers not the married perſons to become parents. Sometimes the fruit of the bodie is granted indeed, but blaſted with ſickneſſe, and with ſpeedy death. Sometimes they liue but a few dayes, or a few yeeres, and then leaue the parent more ſorrie for the leſſe, then glad at the receiuing of them. Sometimes they liue to mans age, and out-liue the parents, but onelyonly to be their parents tormentors and murderers, by their euill and lewd conditions, ſo diſquieting their hearts, that they would count it an aduantage to hauehave been barren, and doe often wiſh they had laid them in thier graues, before euer they had vſed a tongue to ſpeake. Many a child puts his mother to after-throes more terrible, then thoſe with which ſhee brought him into the world at firſt. Many a father is in trauaile of his old child, that knew not the labour of his firſt bringing forth. Sometimes they proue ſtubburne, ſometimes riotous, ſometimes vncleane, ſometimes falſe, and ſometimes bring themſelues to infamous puniſhments, and vntimely deaths. Sometimes they belewd before marriage, and vexe the parents, with beholding a baſtard of their names. Sometimes they be wilfull inmarriage, and wil make their owne fooliſh choyce, againſt the knowledge or conſent of parents. Set them to learning, they learne nothing but vanitie: ſet them to labour, they labour for nothing, but to vndoe themſelues; running away from their Maſters; it may be alſo robbing them; and hauing runne themſelues out of breath, come home ragged, and miſerable, but not penitent, ready to doe as bad againe, and put their parents to extremitie of care; ſo that they are euen diſtraced, and at their wits ends, not knowing what courſe in the world to take with them, becauſe both faire meanes and foule meanes hauehave been vſed, and none will auaile. Sometimes againe, a child ſeeming towardly, ſo wins away the parents affection, that hee giues him almoſt his whole eſtate, and is content to be at his finding; and then loe, the monſtrous Viper begrudgeth his parents food and attire, is wearie of his old age, and counts his weakeneſſe ouer-cumbrous, and ſticketh not to ſhew by words and deeds, that hee wiſheth his death with all his heart; then which (I think) no croſſe in a child can be more ſtinging.
Thinke of theſe things, you that are, or would be married: What if you prooue drie Kyes, and beare no fruite? How could you brooke a life wanting iſſue, the moſt deſireable fruit of marriage? Or, What if God giuegive thee children to looke vponupon for a weeke, or two? or to play with for a yeere or two? or to be charged withall for a doozen, or a ſcore of yeeres, and then ſend death to fetch them to himſelfe againe? With what quietneſe of mind couldſt thoui reſigne theſe gifts into the hand of him that gaue them? How couldeſt thou endure, to ſee the ſickneſſe of thy ſonnes or daughters, to ſee them burne, toffe, tumble, waſte, conſume, languiſh, and pine away? to heare them grone, ſigh, complaine, crie out, and roare, and ſcritch, and fill thine eares with rufull lamentations? How canſt thou frame thy ſelfe, to ſee thy branches, as it were withering, halfe cut off, and ready to fall from the body of thy family? What ſhift couldſt thou make to burie two, three, foure, halfe a dozen, halfe a ſcore ſonnes or daughters, ſome at a day, ſome at a weeke, ſome at a yeere, ſome at a dozen, ſome at twentie, or more yeeres old? Or if thou ſcape theſe petit croſſes, in thy children, how couldſt thou brooke a ſtubburne, rebellious ſon, or daughter, that will interchange words with thee, and ſnap thee vp ſhort, and chide faſter then thy ſelfe? that will caſt vponupon thee a leering, horſe-like, contemptuous eye? and will ſtab thy ſoule, with a lowring, pouting, ſcornefull looke? with a dogged, barking anſwere? yea, that will ſteale thy goods from thee, and conſume it in ill company, whores, and drunkenneſſe? that waſtes all that thou haſt gotten, and giuen to him? and takes ſuch vntamed courſes, as doe deeply threaten thine heart and eyes with that worſe then deadly ſpectacle, to ſee him one day preaching vponupon a ladder, with a rope about his necke, becauſe ſuch a life can hardly conclude in a better death? How wilt thou ſuffer this corzie of a wicked, riotous, vngracious, vngratefull Viper in thine houſe? who doth nothing elſe, but ſtriue with abominable words and deeds, as it were with poyſonfull teeth, to gnaw out thy verie heart, and deuoure thy bowels and entrals; for whom, thou canſt neither eate, or ſleepe in quiet; nor be at home nor abroad in peace; a very Abſalom, that would kill his father, to get his Kingdome? With what reſolution could you parents vnderunder-goe the burying of a good child, or the liuing of a bad? But let it be granted, that a mans children ſhall proue at leaſt indifferent and tolerable; there is yet another neceſſarie member of a family, which may make the hear of the family ake exceedingly; theſe are ſeruants of both ſexes, men and maides. Some ſeruants be idle, and ſlothfull, and will doe little; ſome be hollow and deceitefull, and will doe nothing but when the gouernours eye is vponupon them; ſome be rude and rebellious, and will doe what they luſt themſelues for all their gouernours ſpeeches; ſome bee falſe and vntruſtie, and will purloyne their goods if they can; ſome be careleſſe and forgetfull, and procure exceeding loſſe by their negligence; ſome bee riotous and waſtefull, hauehave a ſweete tooth, and will hauehave their good cheare of their Maſters coſt, but without his priuitie; ſome bee ſtragglers, licentious, out-lyers, that lodge not in their Maſters families on nights, but frequent their meetings in the time of ſleep, and take their ſleepe in the time of working; ſome he ſurly and ſawcie, and will deſerue reproofes oft enough, but will neuer recerue them with patience. Some are ſoft and ſlow, and though they ſeeme to be willing, yet are able to diſpatch little; ſome be ſimple and indiſcreete, and will bee doing, but without fore-ſight and wiſdome, and ſo doe little to the purpoſe; ſome bee quarrelſome and ſnarling, and alwaies making brawles with their fellow ſeruants, which needs muſt end in their maſters loſſe on both ſides. Now let all that affect marriage, aske themſelues, What ſhift ſhould I make to beare with a ſlow, drumbling, lazie ſeruant, whoſe worke is not worth his meate, but he goes about his buſineſſe, euen iuſt like as a tyred horſe, faire and ſoftly? Or how ſhould I breake a ſeruant, as nimble of his tongue, as of his hands, that will bee my maſter, and hauehave his owne way in all things, or elſe hee will diſpatch nothing? that wil be as lowd as my ſelfe, if I begin to reproue, and tell me plainely, that he will not mend for chiding, and I ſee plainely, that he wil not mend without it? How ſhould I liue with an vnprouident, heedleſſe ſeruant, that will loſe more on a day, then his labour is worth in a monethmonth? and lets all things goe to wreck and ruine vnderunder his hands, onelyonly for want of paines and care, that is euer grumbling at his work, and diſliking of his diet, and ſtill thinks that his labour is too painefull, and his fare too hard; that will prig, ſteale, and lie, and cares not how hee coozens me, ſo that he can either impudently out-face, or craftily beguile me? In a word, How could I beare ſlothfulnes, ſullennes, waſtefulnes, careleſnes, whereof ſome are in all, and all in moſt ſeruants? How could I ſuffer this affliction in the fleſh, which thoſe that are married, can hardly eſcape? And now leauing the perſons in the family, let vsus conſider the things thereof, euen the whole eſtate of men, and ſee what burdens may thence bee caſt vponupon the ſhoulders of the married couple.
Who doth not know, how troubleſome a thing it is to want neceſſaries; and withall, how common of thoſe, which when they liued in ſingle life, abounded in all things, and neuer knew (nor thought they ſhould know) what it was to neede a penny, but hauehave fared abundantly, and been attired comelily, and had ſtill ſomething to ſpare, for the ſatisfying of their owne deſires? Very many after marriage, be put into the cloſe ſtocks of miſerie, want, and neceſſitie, not hauing wherewithall to prouide conuenient foode and rayment for themſelves, and for their charge, which vnawares, and without fore-ſight, is now growne heauie vponupon them. It is an eaſie thing to fill one belly, and cloath one backe, and keepe ſomething in the purſe, when but one hand muſt fetch out of it: but to prouide diet and attire for a wife, for many ſmall children, for ſome ſeruants; to pay for houſe-rent, and fewell, and candle; to disburſe the compelled charges of the weakneſſe of a wife, of children, of ſeruants, and to bring vp many with the fruite of one mans labour and induſtrie; this doth oftentimes prooue farre leſſe eaſie, then men in imagination can deeme it to be. Neither doth this neceſſitie attend alone vponupon perſons of lower ranke, that muſt get their liuing by their fingers ends, and liue vponupon their hard and toyleſome labour; but many a man alſo, that flouriſheth at firſt, with a good ſtocke of his owne, and a good portion of his wiues, at laſt, by meanes of croſſes and loſſes in diuers kinds, doth runne thorow all, and (prouing banquerupt,) ends his dayes in a priſon, and leaueth his wife and children to be poorely prouided for, by the cold bountie of friends, or the common ſtocke of the Towne or Pariſh: yea, many a man that hath houſe and land of his owne in good quantitie, and promiſeth himſelfe a liberall maintenance, doth yet meete with ſo many hindrances, by loſſe of cattaile, ill bargaines, ill debtors, ill ſeruants, or his owne fore-ſightleſneſſe, that before hee thinkes of it, euen on a ſudden, he runs into debt and danger, and ſtickes ſo faſt in the Vſurers Waxe, that he cannot winde himſelfe out againe, vntill his dying day? How often is it ſeene in the world, that riches proue like wilde-fowle, to him, on whoſe buſhes they ſate for a little time, and (taking the aduantage of his careleſneſſe, or other inauoydeable croſſes) doe flie quite from him, and neuer returne againe? yea, euen of thoſe which are not abſolute beggers, yet many runne ſo farre in debt, and are ſo intangled with borrowing and lending, that their intangled eſtate doth become extremely troubleſome, becauſe they want things neceſſarie to maintaine themſelues according to their owne ranke; though for a man of another condition of life, the things they poſſeſſe, would euen more then ſuffice. Runne thorow an whole Towne and Countrie, enquire into all the houſholds, and ſearch into all the eſtates of the greater number, and you ſhall find them broken, incumbred, low, deiected, and euen ſticking faſt in the mud and mire of want and penurie. Need then fighteth againſt the ſonnes of men with eagerneſſe, and (like an harneſſed man) doth vſe violence, & will not be repelled, but by great labor, & great care, and continuall diligence; in which ſtrife, though a man get the better, and ſaue himſelf frō falling into the hands of pouertie, yet (as it were a bloudy victorie) it giues him little cauſe to reioyce in the conqueſt. Married men muſt care for the things of this world, how to pleaſe their yokefellowes, how to maintaine their families, how to liue amongſt their neighbours, how to pay euerie man his owne; how to get ſomething for their children; in which care, though they proſper ſo much, as to bring to paſſe the thing cared for, yet is the labour great, and the burthen heauie, and the trouble much vntounto the fleſh. Wherefore the ſingle perſon muſt vſe his eyes to look, before hee leape, and muſe thus with himſelfe: Now I am a child, or ſeruant, I hauehave all things in ſtore and plentie; I hauehave none to care for, but my ſelfe, or ſcarce my ſelfe to care for, being maintained rather by the care of others, then of my ſelfe: when euer I ſhall marrie, the caſe will be much altered; I muſt take paines, and vſe forecaſt for my ſelfe, and for many others, beſides my ſelfe: I muſt get food for children, and wages for ſeruants; I muſt looke that nothing bee loſt, but that ſomething may be gotten; mine head muſt guide all, mine eyes muſt ſee all, mine hand muſt be ſet to eueryevery chare, and nothing will goe well forward, vnleſſe my ſelfe doe put a finger, or rather a ſhoulder to it. What ſhould I doe, if God ſhould croſſe mee, and the World frowne vponupon mee? How ſhould I ſuffer ſuch extreme penurie, as ſuch and ſuch hauehave done before me? How ſhould I goe (as it were in a ſhoo too ſtraight for my foote) in a ſtate too little for my mind and education, as ſuch and ſuch hauehave done? How ſhould I deſcend to coorſer fare, to meaner attire, to ſmaller attendance, to leſſer reſpect, then what I was wont to enioy, in the houſe of my Maſter, or my Parents? How ſhould I doe to make hard ſhifts, to borrow of one, to pay another, to labour, and toyle, and buy, and ſell, and liue by the loſſe? and to ſee mine eſtate ſtill tumbling lower & lower, as one, whoſe foote hath ſlipped on the ſide of a ſteepe hill, that can neuer recouer himſelfe, till he come to the bottome? Oh, how painefull is it to ſtriue with a broken eſtate, yea, or to keepe an whole eſtate from breaking? If the wife be not huſwifely, if the ſeruants bee not truſtie, if neighbours be not honeſt, if ſucceſſe be not happie; how eaſily will the ſea of wants breake in vponupon me? and how much adoe ſhall I hauehave to ſwim againſt the ſtreame, and ſaue my ſelfe from being euen drowned in penurie and neede? To ſee the ſtate goe back ward, is a great trouble; to make it ſtand at a ſtay, or goe forward, is a great trouble: How ſhall I bee able to wreſtle with all theſe difficulties? And ſo at laſt (my Brethren) hauehave I paſſedouer this rugged way, and in going along, hauehave pointed you at a few of the many encumbrances, that, like euill waiting-men, doe preſſe themſelues in with the ſtate of Matrimonie: and know you, that this which we hauehave ſpoken, is but, as it were, a Map before your eyes, or as an imperfect narration, of a dangerous and troubleſome voyage, which your experience will make you feele, to be ten times more troubleſome, then any words can deſcribe it. And now I will go on to giuegive you ſome inſtructions, from this moſt approued, and moſt plainely manifeſted truth.