The Fathers Tears over his Daughters Remains, Postscript
POSTSCRIPT.
THE Reader will eaſily obſerve, thro' the preceeding Memoirs, the great Advantage Mrs. Turell had in the early Care of her Father to infuſe Knowlege of the beſt Kind, in the eaſieſt and kindeſt Manner, into her little Mind, as faſt as it grew capable of receiving it. He firſt talk'd into her all he cou'd in the moſt free and endearing Manner, and then ſupply'd her with the beſt Books of every kind, ſuted to her Years and Inclinations, without making them a Task and Burthen; which it muſt be own'd was very much owing to her natural Genius and Inclination. His next Care was to teach her to read his Hand, and then by writing to her, in a Manner becoming him and proper for her, he inſinuated himſelf more and more into her Affections, and increas'd her Reverence of Him, and Deſire of his Eſteem. The Way to merit and obtain that, he let her ſee was by a prudent, humble, virtuous and religious Conduct, upon the Principles and Motives of Chriſtianity, the Fear of GOD and a Deſire to pleaſe her Heavenly Father. The Succeſs and Fruit of theſe happy Methods have been partly ſeen in the foregoing Narrative; and tho' it can't be pretended that the like Endeavours will always be attended with like Succeſs, yet it may be ſuppoſed they would very often, if Parents, with a humble Reliance on the Bleſſing of God, and Prayers for it, would go into them.
Miniſters eſpecially have great Advantages herefor, and are under ſpecial Obligations to be Examples to their Flocks, in this Rule of their own Houſe. And tho' the Father of Mrs. Turell, would not pretend to propoſe Himſelf as an Example to his B…ethren, yet upon a Review of his Letters to his Daughter he is inclined to publiſh ſome more of them, believing they may be of Uſe to the Living, as he has Reaſon to think they were to his Dead.
Boſton, June 5. — My Dear,
YOU were wiſhing laſt Night that I would inſtruct you how to write Letters, which I willingly undertake to do by writing to You, and requiring you to anſwer me as often as I write. I know no Way of teaching you ſo eaſy and pleaſant to me, and that may be ſo profitable to you. I hope it will be a very great Pleaſure to you to hear from your Father often this Way, and to ſpeak to him again, and to have his loving Lines to you to read over again and again at your Leiſure. Beſides, Your liſping at good Senſe will be as Muſic to your Father's Ear, and much more your Growth the Joy of his Soul.
You need not be aſham'd to let your Father ſee your Ignorances and Defects, for to be ſure he'll kindly cover 'em, as well as inform you of 'em.
A very little Uſe will make you Miſtreſs eno' of the Art of decent, familiar, common Letters. Practice is the beſt and ſhorteſt Way of learning this; and it will be well worth a little Pains to learn, being of conſtant Uſe while you live, and not one of the leaſt Ornaments and Pleaſures of Life.
Write without Fear or Awe to Him who is your own, and whoſe you are. Write more or leſs according as you find your Tho'ts flowing or reſtrained. But always remember, that it is better to be ſhort and full of good Senſe, than to draw out your Letters to an empty Length.
Mine to you will be on one Head or other of Religious and Virtuous Conduct, wherein I ſhall teach you the Fear of the Lord and the Care of your own Soul, which are the true and higheſt Wiſdom. I ſhall breathe hereby into your Ear, and may it pleaſe God into your Heart, many a good Wiſh and Prayer, for you to make over again for your Self. And may you find Grace from God, to make this Benefit of that tender Affection, which fills the Soul of your loving Father ——
June 12.— My Dear Child,
YOU have much honour'd and endear'd your Self to me by your Letter Yeſterday. You have anſwer'd all my Hopes, and out-done my Expectations. I ſee you are a Miſtreſs both of Matter and Form in your firſt Eſſay ‡See page 78., which yet is not your firſt neither. Yet you will grow by Uſe, the only Way of learning every thing that's good.
There is but one Word amiſs in your Letter, beſides a falſe Spell or two, and that is the Word Fortune. The Heathens made a Goddeſs of the blind Nothing, and ignorantly Worſhip'd it. The Philiſtines, as you read in your Bible, ſpeak of Chance. But Chriſtians have learn'd the Doctrine of a glorious Providence that governs and orders thoſe things which Men call caſual.
You are ſorry, you ſay, "that you have ſo little of your Father's Soul in you", and I am well pleas'd you have ſo much of it; but I hope God will make your's better than your Father's.
God give you your Petition, that as you grow in Years, you may in Grace. And be ſure that you pray for your Father, Mother and Siſter, when you do for your own Soul.
I am, my Dear, Your moſt Affectionate Father.
I omit Others to her in her Childhood, and come to ſome ſent her after her Marriage.
Decemb. 20. 1726. My Dear,
YOur Letter of the 9th. of this Month was exceeding pleaſant to Me and to your Mother, wherein you expreſs your great Contentment in the kind Diſpoſals of Providence reſpecting you. No worldly thing can rejoyce us more than your Happineſs in Mr. Turell, and his in you. You will emulate his tender Regards to you and his incomparable good Temper; and learning of him return the ſame to him, that he may have as rich a Bleſſing in You, as you have in Him. O the Happineſs, when two Souls meet in the Marriage Relation, that are ſuited to each other, and mutually ſtrive which ſhall be moſt obliging and endearing!
But my Dear, let all this draw you to Chriſt, in Love, Gratitude and Devotedneſs to Him. Mr. Turell will direct you in renewing your Eſpouſals to Chriſt at his Table. Delay not this Duty, but joyn your Self to that Church and People of God, who (you ſay) are ſo full of Good-will and Love to you. Give your Self firſt to the Lord, and then unto Them by the Will of God.
—Be prudent and frugal, moderate and humble in your Deſires and Expectations, chearful and thankful; careful for the Meat that periſhes nor, but endures to Life everlaſting. Begin and end with God daily; and believe it that nothing will ſweeten to you the Enjoyments of life, or the Afflictions of it, which we muſt never forget to prepare for, like daily Communion with Heaven, and the Hope of your Portion there when this tranſitory life ends. This is the Bleſſing we wiſh you, and reſt
Your affectionate Father,—
Boſton, Sept. 1. 1727. My Dear Child,
IN your's to me of this Week you ask my Tho'ts about that ‡See Page 52, & 111.Text, 1 Cor. 11.2…, 29. Whoſoever ſhall eat this Bread, and drink this Cup of the Lord unworthily, ſhall be guilty of the Body and Blood of the Lord; he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh Damnation to himſelf, not diſcerning the Lord's Body.
You ſay that it comforted you to find Mr. Flavel ſaying, That by Damnation here is not meant eternal Condemnation, but ſome temporal Judgment and Chaſtiſement in order to the preventing the eternal Damnation.—This is no more than what you have often heard from me and other Miniſters.
It is certain that the Greek Word render'd here Damnation, ſignifies only Judgment in general, as the Margin of our Bibles renders it. And this Judgment is primarily meant of temporal Judgments; as it immediately follows, ver. 30, 31.32. For this Cauſe many an weak and ſickly among you, and many ſleep; for if we would judge our ſelves, we ſhould not be judged: But when we are judged, we are chaſtned of the Lord, that we ſhould not be condemned with the World.
Here, my Dear, you have Mr. Flavel's Interpretation in the Apoſtle's own Words: Scil, that temporal Judgment and Chaſtiſement is the primary Meaning of that Text, and this in order to the preventing eternal Damnation.
But if you look into the Context, you will eaſily ſee how groſs and ſoul the unworthy Eating among the Corinthians was. They acted after ſuch a manner that the Apoſtle told them ver. 20. That it was not to eat the Lord's Supper. They did not diſcern the Lord's Body. They made a kind of common Meal of it. The Abuſe of their Love-Feaſts, us'd before the Sacrament among them, was the Occaſion hereof. The poor were neglected, every one took his own Supper; one was hungry and another was drunken! ver. 21. What, ſays the Apoſtle, Have ye not Houſes to eat and drink in? or deſpiſe ye the Church of God? ver. 22. Here was groſs Diſorder indeed, even to Intemperance; ſuch as is not like to be known among us. Wherefore, neither are the like temporal Judgments known among us on this Account, as were inflicted upon thoſe Corinthians.
But if People do incur the Judgments of God by unſuitable partaking at the Lord's Table, Do they not equally by a careleſs Omiſſion and irreverent and prophane Neglect of it, think you? Is not the Reaſon the ſame? the Irreligion and Provocation the ſame? And ſo may the Danger be juſtly apprehended.
Indeed either the "Omiſſion or careleſs Performance of the holy Duties of God's Worſhip, ſecret or publick, do juſtly expoſe People to the Judgments of God, both bodily and ſpiritual, temporal and eternal. And the ſpiritual Judgments we ſhould eſpecially fear. And if People habitually and profanely and impenitently ſtay away from the Lord's Table, or come to it; both the one and the other will turn to their Damnation in the World to come.
But what is the Inference or Argument from hence? Is it not that therefore we ſhould religiouſly prepare for, and reverently come to the Ordinances of Chriſt? We muſt neither ſtay away from them, nor prophane them in the Uſe of them; for both of theſe Errors will alike incur the Judgment of God, here and hereafter, without Repentance
And think my Dear, Is it only by Eating and Drinking unworthily, that the Judgment of God is incurred? Is it not alſo by unworthy Praying? For it is ſaid, That the Prayer of the wicked is an Abomination to the Lord. Is not this as dreadful as the Word Judgment? And do we not read of the Word Preached, that it will become a Savour of Death unto Death by our unworthy hearing it? Here is eternal Damnation indeed in theſe fearful words, Death unto Death. Let us fear then to pray and hear unworthily, as well as to eat unworthily. But to be ſure we may not ſay, "Well then, it is beſt not to pray at all, and beſt not to hear at all, leſt I bring Judgment and Condemnation upon my ſelf: No more ſhould we ſay—I will not dare to go to the Lord's Table for the ſame Reaſon.
In a word, If we prophane the Sabbaths and Ordinances of Chriſt, it will be to our Judgment, both on temporal and ſpiritual Accounts; and they will be prophaned by us, if they are not reverently obſerved by us. The Rule therefore is, ver. 28. Let a Man examine himſelf, and ſo let him eat of that Bread, and drink of that Cup. So let a Man examine himſelf, and prepare for the other Ordinances of Chriſt. Keep thy foot when thou goeſt to the Houſe of God, and offer not the Sacrifice of Fools who conſider not that they do Evil. Be ſolemn, ſerious, and reverend in the whole worſhip of God, for it is all holy, and God will be ſanctifyed in it by us, or will ſanctify himſelf upon us.
You have Mr. Pool and Mr. Burkit; ſee what they ſay upon the Place. Read alſo and weigh well the 41, 42, 43 Pages of Mr. Henry's Communicant's Companion, ‡In our Boſton Edition.there you will find a good Anſwer to all the reſt of your Letter to me.
It is uncertain when I ſhall ſee you, but God will I truſt be with you, and your Heart toward him. We all ſend you our Loves, and I am
Your loving Father.
Friday, Octob. 27. 1727. My Dear,
THE Face of the Sky this Morning, begins to forbid me the Pleaſure of ſeeing you to Morrow. I would not have you expect me, nor that Mr. Turell ſhould have the leaſt Dependance on me. I hope God will be with you in your open Giving your ſelf to Him. The great thing lies in Secret, between God and your own Soul. The publick joyning your ſelf to the Church is but the doing that before Men, which you have firſt done before God in ſecret. With the Heart Man believeth unto Righteouſneſs, and with the Mouth Confeſſion is made unto Salvation. If you ſhould feel ſome Flutter and Diſorder of Mind in public, let not that diſcourage you: The Self-dedication was done ſedately in ſecret. Yet I pray God to give you much Comfort, and the Tokens of his Grace and Preſence in the publick Tranſaction. And may you live long to ſerve God, and enjoy much of God in your Cloſet and alſo in his Houſe, on Lord's-days and other Days; and be a Bleſſing in your Place, both to Mr. Turell and to the People among whom your Lot is caſt.
Go on then, my dear Child, in the Fear and Love of God, and in the Strength and Righteouſneſs of Chriſt, and joyn your ſelf unto the Lord, in an everlaſting Covenant, never to be forgotten. Jer. I. 5. See there the Frame, and Voice, and Act of a Soul preparing, or thro' Grace prepared, for the renewing and confirming its Covenant with God. Both the Duty and the Grace of the Covenant are wonderfully expreſſed in this Phraſe. A Word of wonderful Condeſcention on the part of God, and of ſtrong Obligation and Binding on ours.
For in Covenanting with God we joyn our ſelves to Him, as Servants to their Maſter by an Indenture; as Subjects to their King by an Oath of Allegiance; as Soldiers to their General in a War againſt Sin and Satan; and as a Wife to her Husband in a Marriage Covenant; a Covenant of mutual, endearing, conſtant and perpetual Love.—O with what a conſenting joyful Soul, ſhould you now (my Deareſt, my Joy and my Crown!) make your Vows to God! Let the Love of Chriſt conſtrain thee. Say, I will go unto the Altar of God, unto God my exceeding Joy! I will take the Cup of Salvation and call upon the Name of the Lord! I will pay my Vows unto the Lord, now in the Preſence of all his People. O what a Mercy, and Matter of everlaſting Thankſgiving, is a Heart thus given to Chriſt!
And remember, that what you do is for Perpetuity, never to be forgotten. We Covenant for Life and for Eternity. It is the Covenant of the Living God, with Immortal Creatures, for our whole Being here, and for our eternal Well being in another World. We muſt reverently uſe the Signs & Seals of the Covenant of our God, to keep in Memory our Bonds and God's Promiſes.
This is a Sketch of the Sermon I might have brought you, had my Health and the Weather permitted me. It may lie by you, be reviewed on Occaſion, and do you more good, than if I had come and preach'd to you. Grace be with you. Amen.
Your loving Father,—
Octob. 30. 1727. My dear Child,
NO doubt but you heard the Roar, and felt the awful and terrible Shock of the Earthquake laſt Night, with like Surprize as we did We ſpent the Night in humble Cries to God for our Selves and Nei'bours, and in fervent Praiſes to our Great Preſerver. Your Mother and Siſter were exceeding thankful that I was not with you, that is to ſay, not abſent from them, as we were propoſing on Thurſday laſt. And as God has ordered it, I hope it is much the beſt. We long to hear from You, how you do, after ſuch a terrible Diſpenſation to the Land, which is a loud Call to all parts of it to fear God and repent and give Glory to Him. God ſanctify the Rod which he has ſhock over us for our Humiliation, Terror and Reformation. I hope, my Dear, that it will ſtrengthen and confirm you in your Choice of God and his Ways, in the Dedication and Reſignation of your Self to Him for ev…r; and help to prepare us all for that Kingdom of His which … in never be ſhaken.
It p…eaſes us that you are in the Arms of a kind and dear Inſtructor and Comforter: But God is that to You and Us. N…ne teacheth like Him. May He Seal up Inſtruction to us, ſhow us his Mind and Will, and be our Truſt and Saviour. I leave You in his powerful and gracious Hands, in whoſe Hand our Time is, and who is the God of all our Salvation. You have our affectionate Prayers, and we queſtion not your's for us.
Your loving Father,—
October 28. 1730. At two of the Clock Morning, My dear Turell,
THESE bring you the ſurprizing awful News of the Sudden Death of your dear Mother Colman. She went to Bed as well laſt Evening, and better than ſhe has been wont to do of late, but wak'd after Twelve in one of her ſtriving Fitts. We all roſe in an Inſtant, and Dr. Davis was with her as ſoon as poſſible, and bled her; but after a ſmall Gaſp or two ſhe expir'd, as ſoon as her Arm was bound up. —I left her calling upon Chriſt, and committing her Self to Him, when I ran for the Doctor, but ſhe was paſt ſpeaking, or knowing any body, when I came back.—— Let my dear Daughter know of it as cautiouſly and mildly as can be, which yet I need not ſay to you. Beg of her from me to be ſtill and know that it is God. I hope God will ſupport her, and preſerve the Fruit. O I am afraid of Sorrow upon Sorrow, if ſhe fall into Fitts. I pour our my Soul in Prayer for my Self and her, as you both will for me. Come down as ſoon as may be to comfort and aſſiſt me with your Preſence. Beg of my dear Child to ſubmit quietly to her Heavenly Father's Will, the only Support ſhe can give to her loving, earthly, dying Father. May you live long Bleſſings to each other, but for the moſt Sudden Separations the good Lord prepare us.
——
My laſt to her, Feb. 25th. 1734, 5. My deareſt Child,
I Know your tender Heart, and am much concerned for you upon the Death of your Servant. It comes near to you, as Deaths in our Families always ſhould. I pray God to ſanctify his Hand, ſupport you under it, and help you to ſubmit to his holy Will with a becoming Reverence, Fear and Love. May you be alſo quickned by it to the more earneſt Preparations for your own Change, by a more diligent Care to be a Bleſſing in your Houſe while God continues you in it; which I hope will be long to the Glory of God, the Good of all Your's, and more eſpecially of your dear Samuel, and to your own Account at laſt with Joy.
GOD can find you another Servant, and a better. This is one of the good and perfect Gifts from the Father of Lights, Your earthly Fathers alſo will be ready to do what they can to repair the Breach on you. For you are dear & pleaſant to us, as you highly deſerve to …, and our Life is much bound up in your Comfort, and all that we have is Your's and for you; and that not at Death only when we can need or uſe it no more, but now while we live with you, which is our preſent mutual Pleaſure; but more eſpecially the Parents that has a Heart to give, in the Image of the Living Father in Heaven; Who if earthly Parents know how to give good Gifts unto their Children, will much more be ready to give his Holy Spirit to them that ask him. Seek this (my dear Love) before and above all things. It will make up every Loſs, ſupply every Need, and be the ſure Earneſt of all ſpiritual Bleſſings in the Heavenly Places. — We all love and pray for you, and long to hear you are well.
Your loving Father,—
FINIS.
End of the text · Benjamin Colman, The Fathers Tears over his Daughters Remains (1735)