The Fathers Tears over his Daughters Remains, Letter 9
My Dear Child,
YOUR Letter of the 6th Inſtant both affects and comforts me exceedingly. I tenderly feel all your Tears and Diſtreſs, the Pain and Anguiſh of your Soul, and am diſtreſſed for you. But I rejoyce too to ſee you ſorrowing after a godly ſort, for godly Sorrow worketh Repentance unto Salvation never to be repented of. Think it not ſtrange (my Deareſt) that you are under ſuch Preſſure of Spirit, and are bow'd down heavily, for it is no more than what many of the dear Children of God have experienc'd, and they have been to them as the Pangs of the New Birth: Theſe will be remembred with Joy if you are indeed born to God; as the ſorrows of Childbed are forgotten for Joy that there is a Child born.
Thanks be to God who makes Sin, and the Sins of your Youth (which yet has been very innocent if compared to that of many other Young People, who have nevertheleſs become eminent for Grace and Holineſs) appear ſo evil and amazing to you; and Thanks be to God who gives you ſuch a Senſe of the Vanity of all things under the Sun, without an Intereſt in Chriſt and a better Life: Let theſe united Convictions carry you to him as all your Salvation.
You admire the Patience of God toward you; O admire his Grace and Favour to you, that he is now, and thus early, working on you by his Holy Spirit; convincing and awakening you, humbling and ſtriving with you. You think what would become of you if you ſhould die! But thank God that the Day of Life and of Grace is ſtill continued, and make your renewed Flight to the Lord Jeſus for Pardon and Cleanſing, and the cloſing of your Soul with him; and truſt your Soul with him, "Yea tho' he ſlay me I will truſt in him.
It ought greatly to comfort you, that you can ſay, You think of your Sins with loathing and hatred, that you deſire to get Sin mortif'd and ſubdued that it may not reign in you. This is a Sign of true Grace, and if it be the abiding governing Frame of your Soul, it will be a happy Fruit and Evidence of it: the Lord fix and increaſe this in you.
O I hope God means of his free Grace to make you a holy and happy Woman, a gracious Wife, Mother, and Miſtreſs in your Houſe, a Bleſſing in your Place, and bleſſed for ever. I have Joy in you my dear Child, in this Hope and Proſpect.
I am ſorry to hear of the Temptations that aſſault you, but rejoyce in the Reſ…raints you ſpeak of. Chriſt himſelf was thus tempted, and ſo have all the dear Children of God been; He is able to ſuccour them that are tempted, and ready to do it; and to bruiſe Satan under their Feet. Fly to him, who knows how to have Compaſſion, and who ſaid to Peter, I have prayed for thee that thy Faith fail not, tho' Satan has deſir'd to ſift thee. He ſaid to Paul as he cry'd thrice under the Thorn, My Grace is ſufficient for thee.
You mourn the time ſpent in reading uſeleſs Books; you do well, I am glad you ſee the Emptineſs and Folly of them: Mr. Tur…ll has a Library for you to be repairing to, let him put proper and profitable Books into your Hand.
Thoſe things which once appear'd to you to be but innocent Amuſements, now appear to be Sins, you ſay. I am glad to ſee the Senſe you have of the Appearance of Evil, and the Weight of the leaſt Sins upon your tender Soul. Becauſe Joſiah's Heart was tender the Lord loved him, and the high and lofty One looks to him that is of a contrite Spirit, to revive the Spirit of the humble and the Heart of the contrite ones. To be ſure there is a great deal of Sin in a vain and careleſs trifling away our Time and Days. But Satan will be ready now to accuſe and terrify and amaze you, by hideous Repreſentations of your youthful Vanities, which is one of his Wiles and Devices when he can't keep a Soul ſecure and fearleſs in Sin. Remember, my Dear, the infinite Mercies and Compaſſions of God to a repenting Sinner, that caſts a periſhing Soul on the Merits of Chriſt▪ How was the Prodigal Son received of his Father? Read Luke 15. How was the Woman that had been a great Sinner receiv'd by Chriſt, when ſhe lay at his Feet? Luke 7 44. And what Grace did the trembling Woman find in this fight? Luke. 8.47. And are your Sins ſo many and great, my Child, that they mayn't find the like Mercy? yea and like Love from Chriſt? Do not fear, do not doubt it in the leaſt: Be not afraid with any Amazements: truſt in free, rich, ſovereign, infinite Mercy. —You are amaz'd that one ſo Young as you ſhould have heap'd up ſuch a Load of Guilt, you ſay: O ſtand amaz'd at what God has wro't in Chriſt Jeſus for the Salvation of the greateſt Sinners; having laid on Him the Iniquity of us all, and called every weary and heavy laden Soul to him for reſt. Ah my Child, thy Sins are few and little compar'd to Thouſands of whom Chriſt has ſaved! And were thy Sins a thouſand fold more and greater than they are, they would be all forgiven upon thy penitent believing Flight to Chriſt for Pardon and Sanctification. Yet your Sins ſhould appear as they do … you, if they had not been half ſo many and great as they are.
As a Father pitieth his Children, ſo the Lord them that fear him, Pſal. 103. And if earthly Parents know how to give good Things to their Children, ſhall not your Heavenly Father give his Holy Spirit to them that ask him? Matth. 7.11. O how would I give you Grace, Pardon, Comfort, if it were in my Power! but the Bowels of Chriſt are mov'd infinitely more to you, if he ſees in you the Mournings of a true Repentance. The Father of your Fleſh don't love you, in compariſon of the Father of your Spirit; the Father of Mercies. — O my dear Child, magnify your Heavenly Father, believe him, confide in him, caſt your Care upon him, caſt your Self into his gracious Hands; and read what he ſays to you, "Fear not I am with thee, be not diſmay'd I am thy God. "As I live ſaith the Lord God, I have no pleaſure that the Sinner ſhould die; but that he turn and live. "Tho' your Sins be as Scarlet they ſhall be as Wool, tho' red as Crimſon they ſhall be as Snow.
Shall he bring to the Birth and not cauſe to bring forth? Will he quench the ſmoking Flax, or break the bruiſed Reed? No, no: Be confident of this very thing, that he who hath begun a good Work in you will perform it to the Day of Chriſt. But he will be enquir'd of, and ſought unto, and you muſt continue in Prayer, and in a diligent Walk with God, in all the Means of Grace private and publick: Watch unto Prayer with all Perſeverance.
Bleſſed be God for the Comforts you taſte at times: O be very thankful for them, prize them, and live on them, when Darkneſs returns. And ſtill follow God in the Dark. God won't leave you comfortleſs. He will come to you, and I hope is laying a Foundation for Peace and Joy in the Holy Ghoſt, and a happy pleaſant Life under his Light, and in the Senſe of his Love thro' Chriſt.
Satan would turn Scriptures againſt you, which are not meant to any in your preſent Frame; and wreſt thoſe from you which belong to you. What haſt thou to do to take my Covenant into thy Mouth? Yes; every awakn'd, humble, mournful Soul, bleeding for Sin with a broken Heart, has a right to take hold on God's Covenant, and on all the Promiſes and Mercies of it; flying thereto for Refuge as the Hope ſet before him.—Turn to the ſtrong Hold ye Priſoners of Hope.
Nothing is there in your preſent Caſe, the Senſe of your own Hardneſs and Stupidity, and Fears of your Hypocriſy, but what is common to the Children of God; eſpecially under the firſt Workings of the Spirit on their Souls.— You ſay You deſire to be more and more mortify'd to the World; and that you daily ſee leſs and leſs in it, and that you hope and pray to be made wiſe for your Soul and Eternity. And will not this comfort you? Whilſt you are looking leſs to the things that are ſeen, and more to thoſe things which are unſeen and eternal, you are and will be getting more above and looſe from this World, and be ripening for a better. God keep you in … Deſires and Prayers, and give you Treaſure in Heaven, where … our Heart is.
My Dear, my Joy and my Crown! What thanks can I give to God for you! how can I bleſs him eno' for what … is doing for you! If I may be a Parent of a Child of God by Faith in Jeſus Chriſt, how ſhould my Heart rejoyce, even mine! What a glad Father ſhould I be in a wiſe Child? wiſe to Salvation! God Almighty bleſs thee; and increaſe his Grace in thee; make thee fruitful and multiply thee; Cauſe his Face to ſhine on thy Soul; upon his own Work in thee; give the Bleſſing of Abraham to thee and to thy Seed, and ſay of thee that thou ſhalt be a Bleſſing: Make thee a happy Mother, and a better Parent to thine than I have been to thee.
Pray for your Parents and Siſter da…ly, that we may ſee you in Heaven, and be bleſſed together in a moſt indiſſoluble Relation; and by a Life full of Grace endear your ſelf more and more to your dear Spouſe and to us.
Live cheerfully with Him whom thou loveſt, and to whom thou art eſpouſed; with Him in Heaven which is Chriſt; and with him on Earth who will love thee as Chriſt loved hiss Church, and help thee on in thy way to Heaven. Make Mr. Turell's Life eaſy and pleaſant by ſeeing you ſo.— But as you ſay, Chriſt muſt help you, enlighten and comfort you; we can only give you our Pity, Prayers and Counſels; look off from us, look up to Chriſt; and we will be doing this with you and for you: and He for his own Name ſake and of his meer Compaſſions will do abundantly beyond all that we can ask or think. May He ſpeak Peace to you, and his Peace keep your Soul.
Your loving Father. Boſton, December 9. 1727.
Your Mother is better, and ſends her Bleſſing.
Her next Letter was a very Excellent one to her Siſter a few Weeks after.