Exhortation to the Ministers of Gods Word, Text 4 (1 of 2)
The dutie of Parents towards their Children.
THis dutie consisteth, in fou… points.The dutie containeth foure points: namely, in teaching or instructing them in religion, in maners, good example of life, and skill of an occupation.
First, that fathers and mother… doe instruct and bring vp the… children euen from the crad… in the feare and nurture of the Lord.
Secondly, that they bring them vp in sham… fastnesse, hatred of vice, and louelove of all ve… tue.
Thirdly, that they be vntounto their children,… amples of all godlines and vertue.
Fourthly, that they keepe them from idlenesse, the mother of all mischiefes, and brin… them vp either in learning, or in some goo… Art, or Occupation, whereby they may g… their liuing with honestie and trueth, whe… they shall come to age and yeeres of discr… tion.
1. Touching the first point, Parents are… be admonished, that they beare in minde, th… The first pointthe cause why the Lord hath blessed them wi… children, is: first that they should be carefull to …e that their children be so vertuously brought …p, that they may become citizens of the Church of God: so that whensoeuer they them…es shall die in the Lord, they may leaue …eir children true worshippers of God in their …lace. But alasse, there be sew that hauehave any great care of this dutie.
It is to be remembred, that it is the fathers …tie, with all conuenient speede to present the …lde to baptisme, and there to giuegive the name …to his child: as may appeare by the example …ke 1. 63. Genesis 21. 3.
And it were a thing to be wished, that all The children of Christians ought not to be called by any popish names.…ents, when, and at such time as God blesseth …em with children, would giuegive them such …es, as are named and commended vntounto … in the holy Scriptures; to the end that …en they come to yeeres of discretion, they …y hearing those names, may be excited and …ued to follow the vertuous life and Christi… conuersation of those men and women …hose names they beare, which the holy Ghost …h commended them for; and contrari…se to eschue and auoyde those faults and vi… which are discommended in them. And … we hauehave to remember, that those children …hich are named and called by, and after any We are neither better nor worse in respect of our names. Iosua. 10. 3.…f the names of the Patriarkes, Prophets, Apo…es, or by the name of any other Saint, man … woman, are not any thing the better, because they hauehave such godly and Christian The name profiteth none in whom vertue is not commended.names, vnlesse that they doe imitate and follow them in faith, vertue, and godly behauiour: so on the other side, they that be not called by such Christian names as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture, are not in respect of their names any thing the worse, hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death, passion, and bloodshedding, and leading their liues agreeable to the same. For as neither the yeerely reueneues, nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors, nor to descend of noble parentage, maketh men noble & renowned indeed, vnlesse they themselues be godly, honest, and wise: so neither the godly names, no nor yet the faith & vertue of the fathers, auaileth the wicked and vngodly children any thing at all, vnlesse they repent and become faithfull, and godly, as they were. Let vsus here consider, that so often as i… the race of our life we do heare, or do speake… our name, it doth put vsus in remembrance, first, of Gods merciemercy shewed vntounto vsus in our Baptisme: secondly, of our promise to God againe… And as in times amongst our ancestors, Infan… Luke. 1. 59. & 2. 21. Proper names are also giuen vntounto vsus, for this vse and end, that is, to distinguish betwixt man and man.had their names giuen them when they we… circumcised, as appeareth in Luke, no doubt… this end, that the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names, at wh… time & place they had their names giuen them, and should thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God, and ioyned i… league with him, and made partakers of the co…enant: so likewise after the same maner, must …ee that hauehave had our names giuen vsus in bap…isme remember and beare in minde, that wee are by grace adopted to be the sons of God, & receiued into his fauour, & therefore that we are Gods owne, and as it were his goods and riches, who beare his name as proper vntounto him.
2. Secondly, they may assure themselues, that all their labour is lost which they bestow vponupon their children, vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God, and oftentimes call vponupon Gods help by earnest prayer, that he in mercy …ould vouchsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares, subtilties, and temptations of Sathan, which their tender age is subiect vntounto. We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children: but they do not marke & consider that they are iustly punished …y God, for that they thinke by their owne industrie and wit to make them good and ver…ous, without Gods blessing, which they sel…e or neuer call for in good earnest.
3. Thirdly, let them consider how noble … thing a child is, whom God himselfe hath …ped and formed in his mothers wombe, …ourished, brought forth into the light, and in…ed with body and soule, to the end he should (as it were in a table) represent God his first …aterne.
4. Fourthly, let them know that these things are to be dealt withall in order. VntoUnto the bodie Instructing, correcting, and prayer, make good children, and happie Parents. 1. King. 2. 2. 5. Gen. 35. 30.they owe nourishment, bringing vp, apparrell, and sometime correction, that they may keepe children in awe. VntoUnto the soule they owe catechising, instruction, and doctrine: and that of two sorts: namely, of godlinesse, and of ciuilitie. By the one, they shall keepe a good conscience before God. By the other, they shall obtaine a good report among men. For these are the two principall points which parents ought to be most carefull to plant in this life in their children, both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse, where he saith. Ephes. 6. 4. Yee fathers prouoke not your children to wrath,… bring them vp in instruction, and informati… of the Lord. And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his religion, so soore as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same, that they may (as it were) suc… in godlines together with their mothers milke, and straight waies after their cradle, may be nourished with the tender foode of vertue towards that blessed life. To hauehave godly children (no doubt) is the greatest Treasure that may be. For in the children doe the parents liue (in a manner) euen after death. And if they be wel instructed, catechised, and vertuously brought vp, God is honoured by them, the common wealth is aduanced, yea, their parents, and all other fare the better for them. They are their parents to comfort, next vntounto God, their ioy, staffe, and vpholding of their age: and therfore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts: for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer apt Haruest. Young branches will bow as a man will hauehave them, but old trees will sooner breake then bow. And therefore as arrowes are an excellent weapon of defence, to a strong & a mightie man that can shoot them with courage: euen so children godly brought vp, are a speciall protection and defence to their parents. And as the strong mans …iuer, the better it is furnished with chosen …f…es, the better defence he hath: so likewise the more godly children that parents hauehave, the greater is their ioy & happines: Yea, & further, as arrowes are at the commandement of the …ner to be vsed: euen so children well taught are at the commandement of godly parents.
5. Lastly, let parents remember how many s…nnes they commit and heape one vponupon another, which doe not their dutie in bringing vp their children, as they ought to doe. First, they …nsgresse the law of nature, which telleth all …en, that their dutie is to bring vp their children godlily and honestly. Secondly, they sin against God: for they dispise the commande…ent Deut. 6. 7. 8. & 4. 9. &. 11. 19. Psal. 78. 5. 6. 78. Iosu. 4. 6.& authoritie of God: for he commandeth, that children shuld be brought vp religiously and honestly, but he is a despiser of God, that …efuseth to doe as he is commanded. Thirdly, they offend against their owne credit and estimation. For Gods will is, that Parents should (after a sort) be in his stead, so farre forth Exod. 12. 26. 27.as pertaineth to outward discipline. But such make small account of this dignitie, who neglect their dutie in this behalfe. Parents are further to vnderstand, that it is their dutie to have diligent care to see their children taught to pray to God, and to rehearse the Apostles Creede, and the ten Commandements. For as by this exercise their hearts and mindes shall the rather be inclined to godlinesse and reuerence toward God, so as they increase in age, they shall eueryevery day better then other comprehend that which they learne, to their owne comfort, instruction, and saluation. Also, as the tongue is called the glory of man, because that, besides all other reasons, by his speech he is discerned from the bruite beasts: so it is meete, that so soone as the childe can begin to speake, his tongue should be employed to glorifie God, by calling vponupon him, and by learning some short Catechisme, containing the principles and grounds of christian religion: as also in repeating the will of God in such sort, as he will that we should serue and honour him.
If parents do note or perceiue any vice in their little ones, as swearing, lying, choller, enuie, filching, couetousnes, contempt of parents, readinesse to strife, and other like corruptions: it is their dutie, diligently & in time to reproue and correct them; as men vse to plucke vp weeds while they be yet young, least growing vp among the good seeds, they should hinder their growth, & choke them vp. By experience we can see that mothers in swadling their little ones, doe lay their limmes right, each in his place: likewise, if a child be giuen to be left handed, they chide him, yea, sometimes they binde it vp, or otherwise restraine the vse of it, that hee may be accustomed to vse his right hand. Also, if the child hauehave some string vnderunder his tongue, they cut it, lest it should hinder his speech: much more then ought they to beware, that through their negligence the vices of the soule doe not increase. For it is the dutie of the parents, euen in the infancie, to begin to shape and frame the soule vntounto vertue.
It is also the dutie of parents to prouide that their children may learne at the least to write and read: for it may be vntounto them a great help in the course of this life, and a treasure of much greater account then mony. And therefore the negligence of many is sharpely to be reproued. Besides that, the performance of this dutie doth greatly binde their children vntounto them. Neuerthelesse, the principall end thereof should not hauehave respect to such commoditie, as the children may reape therby towards the vse of this present life: but rather that they may read the word of God to their comfort, and instruction to saluation. Also it were their parts to vse them daily to read some Chapters of the holy scriptures, thereby to incline and winne their affections to the word of God, to inure and acquaint them in the phrase of the holy Ghost, by little and little to learne the heauenly doctrine, to note the examples of Gods vengeance powred vponupon the wicked and disobedient: and of his blessings vntounto those that walke in his feare. Therfore if parents do looke that their children should obey them, then let them ioyne & accustome them to Gods word, which will redound much to their parents profit. If they cause their children to heare & read the holy Scriptures, therein they may learne, Honour thy father and thy mother: but if parents doe otherwise, then they traine them vp in the scriptures of diuels, whereout their children will learne most wicked things: but it is not so when they are instructed in the holie Scriptures. Parents therefore are diligently to apply themselues to this which God commandeth, and so often and earnestly commendeth vntounto them: namely, to instruct their children in the knowledge and feare of God, and in the faith of Iesus Christ: Deut. 6. 6. 7. and 32. 46. Ephes. 6. 4. So also to teach them those things which they are to vse in their age. It is then great folly to linger children in the learning of vaine, trifling, and vnprofitable things, which as they grow in yeares they will contemne and forget. Parents can be carefull enough to bring vp their children in some course, trade or other estate, wherein to get their liuings when they come to be men: and verely such fathers as doe neglect that, are vnworthie to hauehave children. But as the soule is more precious then the body, so is the dutie of parents, in youth to traine vp their children in the practise of those things, wherewith in age, euen in this life, they may glorifie God, and be heires of the Lord. If parents want knowledge, or be vnwilling to take leisure to teach them; yet let them doe as much for their childrens soules, and the life to come, as for their bodies, and this present life. Parents that either cannot write and read, or will not, or hauehave not time to teach their children, will yet send them to schoole: and such as would hauehave them learne some Art or Occupation or traffique, if themselues professe not the same, wherein they like to employ their children, they will yet put them to dwel with those that doe professe the same, to the end they may learne. How therefore can parents excuse themselues, when their children remaine vntaught in those things that concerne the glorie of God, and life euerlasting? But howsoeuer i… be, if they be neither able of themselues nor do prouide to hauehave them taught by others, they shall be inexcusable in the sight of God: and the ignorance of the children, ingendring contempt of God, louelove of the world, and neglect of heauenly felicitie, will crie out for euerlasting vengeance against their parents: so that if they account not their childrem as beastes without soule, or if they louelove them with the due louelove belonging to parents, let them declare their louelove especially to the soule: the christian instruction whereof surmounteth all worldly treasure.
Some say, it would be a great comfort for them in heauen to know their neere kindred, and consequently their children: and this commeth of naturall affection. But might it not be a greater discomfort for them, euen in their life time, to see them go to hell for want of instruction? Some charge their children to be dull witted, and hard to be bowed, or brought to any goodnesse or vertue: Albeit naturall inclination be a great help or profiting, yet exercise and custome to do well, is a mightie meanes to bend and shape them that way: yea, euen such, that by experience we finde this old prouerbe true: Ʋse ouercommeth nature: as the wheele▪wright doth by strength bow his timber, and letting it lie long in that bent, it bideth crooked Barren ground well tilled, soyled, and sow…n with good seed groweth friuitfull, and yeeldeth good increase: Iron weareth with handling: The water by continuall dropping weareth the stone: Wilde beasts may be tamed: and wilde coults by custome be brought to the saddle, and are content to be led by the bridle: euen so the dullest capacities may by instruction and custome be fashioned to vertue. As contrariwise, the wit most inclined by nature to vertue, may by bad instruction and the conuersation of the wicked be peruerted, and grow vicious.
Parents therefore are herein to respect two points: first, to begin to frame and bend their children in their tender youth to vertue, remembring that a seale entereth deepest into softest Waxe. They must be carefull that they do not speake or tell any foolish tales, baudie rimes▪ or vngodly speeches before their children, least they infect their tender wits with folly and astonishment. Experience sheweth that children will sooner learne any language by conuersation then elder folkes. Also that the yonger the twig is, the sooner it is bent or made straight.
Secondly, it is the parents dutie to restraine their children from haunting and conuersing with such as be vicious, peruerse, and wicked. And vndoubtedly we see that they doe soone learne villanous and vnseemely speeches, and malicious lewde actions, with their corruptions: and as the old Prouerbe saith, halting with the lame, they shall learne to halt. A childe that naturally speaketh wel, by conuersing with such as corrupt their speech, shall degenerate and speake as badly. Tye a young twig that is crooked with a straight one that is stronger then it, and in growing it will become straight, and so continue when it is vndone. And contrariwise, a straight one tyed to that which is crooked, and stronger then it selfe, will grow and continue crooked,
Moreouer, parents when they meane to put forth their children to any trade or occupation, or to learning, then they ought carefully to see and enquire whether such as they thinke to place them withall, be religious and vertuous, and endued with the feare of God.
In the admittance of a seruant, the feare of some temporall or carnall inconuenience, causeth men to enquire of his, or her truth, honestie, or other qualities. Therefore if Parents shall commit their childe to the ordering and instruction of a Master, before they make enquirie of his honestie and christian conuersation, they plainely shew that they hauehave lesse care of the corrupting or infecting of their childe with vice, then of some small inconuenience that might happen by an vnhonest and vnthriftie seruant.
When men buy an earthen pot they sound vponupon it, to see whether it be broken, least they should be deceiued in a small peece of monie, yet doe they not sound whether the Master to whom they commit their childe be vicious, or vertuous: albeit by putting and placing him with one that is vicious and irreligious, they put him in daunger of losse, both of bodie and soule.
Some doe respect their friendship with some Masters, rather then their vertue, and so doe commit to them their children, least they should be angrie for putting them to another.
These men doe resemble and be like him, who being dangerously sicke, vseth the aduise of an ignorant Physition, that is his kinsman or familiar friend, for feare he should take offence, if he should call another, albeit, without comparison, more learned and skilfull.
If thou shouldest hauehave any waightie matter in law, wouldest thou rather commit thy cause to an ignorant and negligent atturney, because he is thy friend, then to him that were both di…igent and learned? Making a voyage through some dangerous Sea, wouldest thou in a tempest, commit thy Ship to a young Pilot, vnskilfull, or drunke, because hee is thy friend? What a foole art thou, that wilt not take the like care of the profit, honour, safetie, and sal…ation of thy childe?
Others commit their children, either to him, that will take them at the easiest rate, or by whom they may grow into greatest aduancement in the world, but neuer respect the hazard of their childe, so they may either spare, or get worldly goods. Let them also be carefull to restraine their children from vice, & to inure & accustome them tovertue: and indeed the fathers that instruct, or cause their children to be instructed, do far excell such, as onelyonly doe beget them: for of these they receiue life only, of the other good & vertuous life. Yet parents ought not so much to relie and rest vponupon the diligence of their childrens masters, as neuer to care to vnderstand how they profit and goe forward in learning and vertue? for the regard of such diligence would make the masters more carefully to discharge their duties. And thereof came the Prouerb. The masters eye fatteth the horse: and this, The masters eye is the fruitfulnesse of the garden.
VponUpon these sins ensue many punishments, both ghostly and bodily, as well in the parents, as in the children: yea, and in all the posteritie.
The holy Scripture giueth great commendation to sundry men & women, for their godly education, and vertuous bringing vp of their children: as to Abraham, for he commanded his sonnes and his household, to keepe the way Gen. 18. 19. 1. Chro. 28. 9. Act. 10. 2. 2. Tim. 1. 5. Parents must performe their dutie to their children moderately with great grauitie and authority. Gen. 22. 7. 8. Pro. 4. 3. 4. 5. 6. Pro. 3. 1. 2. &c. That is …hought to …e well done which is done by example. Fruites areof the Lord. So Dauid counselled his sonne Salomon to serue God, with a perfect heart, and a willing mind. It is said also of Cornelius, that he feared God, and all his household. Likewise of Eunica the mother of Timothie, that shee nourished vp her sonne in the words of faith, and good doctrine. For where a vertuous and godly childhood goeth before, there a godly and vertuous age followeth after. Contrariwise, when the parents are not carefull to teach their children to know God, and to know themselues: when they do not breed them vp in vertue, nor reproue them when they doe amisse, they then become corrupt in their vnderstanding, and abhominable in their doings: ignorant, and void of all knowledge and grace, and of reuerence or feeling of nature.
If Parents be desirous to hauehave their children vertuous, and honest indeed (as in conscience they ought) then they must be diligent and wont to take their shapecarefull to practise godlinesse and honestie themselues. For we see by experience, according to the common Prouerbe. As the old cocke …eth, the young learneth: such a father, such a …e: and such a mother, such a daughter. For …e as when the head is well and sound, and also the stomacke pure from hurtfull humours, the bodie is commonly well affected: euen so, there the head or chiefe of any familie or household, is religious and sound in the faith, …d feareth God, it commonly goeth wel with …l the household.
What shall it auaile, for parents to teach their …dren honestie & modestie, when they themselues in their workes and behauiour, do inuite …em to wantonnesse, and lewdnesse? Verball …struction, without example of good deedes, … a dead doctrine: and contrariwise, good ex…ples are the life of instruction, to make it …fitable and effectuall. If the example of …ents be contrarie to their instructions: If …ey teach their children sobrietie, modestie, …d chastitie, and yet themselues will follow …kennesse, foule and lasciuious speeches, gestures, and actions: it is as if with their tongues they should say be vertuous, and by the hands lead them with them to all vice and corruption. So that wicked parents are wicked counsellers to their children. If we would take him to be a Monster in nature, and vnworthy to liue in a Common wealth, that should counsell his child to drunkennesse and fornication, what shall we thinke of those, who committing such iniquitie, doe by their example much more mightily put forward their children to such abhomination, then by word they are able? What account can those Parents giuegive vntounto GOD, who by their euill example, hauehave drawne into Hell their children, whom he deliuered to their charge to be guided into Heauen? Albeit such parents pitie not themselues, yet at least let them take pitie of their children, and not carrie them with them into euerlasting destruction. Such parents then deserue grienously to be reprooued, as shall vse any lewd speeches, or shamelesse behauiour, in briefe, any worldly or carnall actions in the presence of their children, to whom their examples may be as a dispensation, to giuegive themselues to the like. As also, how can they forbid that in their children, which they themselues doe commit? how can they correct them for the faults, which they themselues vse? Albeit children, in respect and reuerence to their parents, dare not reply and say, themselues doe these things, for the which they reprooue them: yet will the neighbours or others obiect it to their shame. Besides, their authoritie shal be so much the lesse. in that they declare in their works and actions, that they allow that which they forbide in words.
If parents therfore desire that their instruction may be effectuall, and yeeld fruit, let them declare the same in holy life, and vertuous conuersation: let them so order & gouerne themselues, that their children seeing the same as it were in a glasse, may be restrained from dishonest speech and wicked deeds: let them doe as guides, that shew the right way ouer foords and riuers, by going before those whom they leade: that their children following the steps and examples of their parents, may conforme themselues to their vertues, and so with them, and by them, be led to saluation, and life euerlasting.
For this cause Moses gaue commandement Deut. 6. 5. 6. 7. & 31. 13.vntounto the Iewes, that the law might be kept in their families, that they might prosper in all that they went about. When Obed-edom had receiued the Arke of God into his house, which signified true Religion, the Lord blessed him 1. King. 17. 10. &c. 2. King. 4. 1. &c.and all his household. When the widdow of Z…epthah in the daies of Eliah, and the other …ddow of Israel, in the dayes of Elisha, had receiued the Prophets of God into their hou…es, who is ignorant how mightily and merci…lly the Lord prouided for them? When our Sauiour Christ had restored the Rulers sonne to his health, the Ruler beleeued and all his familie. …hn 4. 53.After Zacheus had receiued Christ into his house, and was conuerted: saluation came to …uke 19. 9.the same household. To be short, when Cornelius …ct. 10. 44.the Centurion embraced the Gospel, his familie also beleeued and were baptized, and the holy Ghost fell vponupon them all, which heard the preaching. And how well that house was ordered, where Timothie was brought vp, his knowledge in the Scriptures from a childe …. Tim. 1. 5. & 3. 15.can witnesse.
And this is also a point worthy to be remembred, that the Lord, by his Prophet Ezechiel, calleth the children of the Israelites, which they had begotten, His children, because they were Eze. 16. 20. 21.partakers of the promises, and signed with the seale of his couenant: and the Prophet calleth them, The inheritance of the Lord.
Such parents therefore, as be Christians Psal. 127. 3.must know, that their children are also the children of God, and partakers of those blessings that are promised to them in Christ Iesus their Sauiour: and therefore that they shall do great iniurie to God himselfe, whose children they are, if they shall not see them carefully brought vp in his feare: and much more, if they, as before time many hauehave done, bequeath them, and See more of this point in the vse and necessitie of catechising.in a maner consecratn and sacrifice them to the seruice of men, by thrusting them into Abbeyes, Munckeries, Frieries, Nunneries, and Seminaries, there to be brought vp, and remaine in perpetuall bondage of ignorance and errour, in superstition and idolatrie.
The second point is, that fathers and mothers The second point.doe nourish and trayne vp their children in shamefastnesse, hatred of vice, and louelove of all vertue.
They be charged by the fit Commandement, Deut. 6. 20. Exod. 12. 26. and 13. 14. The proper dutie of good parents to their children, is to nourish them soberly, to keepe them vnderunder obedience, and to teach them good maners.to feed, to nourish, and to bring vp their children, to teach them the principles and seed of Christian religion, to see they learne the Catechisme, to teach them to praise God before and after meales, as also to teach them by little and little, and by often repetitions, to vnderstand wherefore the Sacraments were instituted: to teach them manners, how to behaue themselues decently in their going, in their speaking, and gesture of their bodies: how to order themselues reuerently in the Church: how abroad in all places, and towards all men, i… all honest companies: and so to begin some conscience in them. For it were better for children to be vnborne, then vntaught.
Now contrarie to this, is, when parents suffer their children to hauehave their will from the beginning: when they discourage and daunt them by seueritie, and by being too hastie with …em: when they let the common ignorance of the word to be rooted in them, and hauehave no …re to frame them to learne trueth and godli…esse, and so to prepare them, to be apt to receiue profit from the publike Ministerie.
It is therefore meete for all fathers, and mothers, if they will hauehave ioy of their children, that Pro. 23. 13 and …9. 18. and 26. …5. 17. & 22. 6. …5. & 13. 24.then they correct them when they doe amisse, and keepe them in shamefastnesse, hatred of vice, and louelove of all vertue, according as the holy Ghost counselleth by the mouth of the wise men in sundrie places.
For as the common Prouerbe is: Byrch breaketh no bones, neither doth moderate correction bring danger of death: but oftentimes it bridleth and keepeth backe the childe, that otherwise would runne headlong into hell, and so is a meane to saue his soule.
For the fountaine of all vertue, and chiefe of all mans felicitie, is good instruction, and right bringing vp. And contrariwise, children euill brought vp, bring shame & great heart breake to their parents. As old Elie was corrected himselfe, for nor correcting his sonnes, which is a 1. Sam. 2. 12. & …3. 12. 13. 14. and 4. 11. 1. King▪ 1. 5. 6.notable example, necessarie for all parents to imprint in their hearts, that they may see their children well taught and corrected, least they procure the wrath of God to fall vponupon them, as did vponupon this Elie, who honoured his children aboue the Lord, and therefore the Lord cut him and them off. For the comfort hee had of his sonnes, was this: the Arke (the witnesse of the Lords presence) was lost, thirtie thousand of the people slaine, his two sonnes Hop…i and Phinehas killed: himselfe when newes thereof came to him, for sorrow fell backeward and brake his necke: vponupon this his daughter in law fell in trauell, and in trauell died: the remnant of his house was glad to craue and begge for a small peece of siluer, and a morsell of bread.
Also the two and fortie children, that mocked 2. King. 2 23. 24.Elisha the Lords Prophet, saying, Come …p thou bald head, were rent in peeces with Beares. Thus we see that children vntaugh and vnchastised, bring shame and confusion to their parents.
Let them therefore alway remember this, that How children should be brought vp.they prouide and bestow diligent labour, that their children be forthwith instructed in vertue and godlinesse, whilest their wits are yet voyd from cares & vices, and whilst their age is tender Hold thy children in awe, and they shall hauehave thee in reuerence.and tractable, and their minds flexible, and readie to eueryevery thing; for then they will keepe fast good lessons and vertuous precepts, if they be taught them. For this is certaine, that we remember nothing so well when wee be old, as those things we learne in young yeeres.
It shall be conuenient and profitable therefore to handle the waxe straight way while it is moyst: to season those earthen vessels with very good liquor whilst they are new: to dye and …e the wooll while it is faire and white, and Pro. 30. 25. & 6. 6. 7.…ot defiled with any spots. The Emmets, or P…smires are not taught to gather into their …oles or hillocks in Summer, whereby they should liue in winter. Bees learne not to make their cels, to gather iuyce, and to make honey: but all these things be done by instruction of nature. So eueryevery liuing thing, the lesse meete it is to learning, so much the more it hath of natiue prudence. But man neither can eate, nor goe, nor speake, except he be taught. Then if fertile fields, for want of tillage waxe barren: if trees being neglected, either bring forth no fruit, or else the same vnsauourie, without diligence or grafting and pruning: if dogs be vnmeete to hunt, the horse and oxen vnapt to the plough, except mans diligence be put thereto: how vilde then and vnprofitable creatures would children become, except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good bringing vp? What a shame is this for any man to take great care to hauehave his dog well taught, his horse well broken, his land well husbanded, his house goodly trimmed, & richly furnished: and yet to hauehave his childe shamefully rude in maners, and altogether void of all garnishing and instruction of vertue and godlinesse? What a great folly and madnesse is this, for a father to take great care and thought how to get mony and possessions, and to hauehave no regard of his childe, for whom the same is gotten? This is no lesse shame to heare, then if a man taking thought for the shooe, would set nought by the foot: or with great care and studie would prouide, that there should be no fault in the childes …rment, not regarding the health of his body. This is (as the common saying is) to be penny…ise, and pound-foolish: to saue a sticke, and …rne a house: to saue a ioynt, and lose the bo…e. But oh vaine man, hast thou more care and …esire to leaue thy sonne faire buildings, and …ll of lands, then for to instruct him in the way …f godlinesse, and so leaue him a vertuous con…c…ence? Hast thou rather a desire to hoord vp Mat. 6. 19.…easure for him, with rust and moth to be con…i…ed, then to teach him the knowledge of. God, which will not canker, but last for aye? Most parents (a pittifull thing to remember) be …ing to the bodies of their children, but their …es they care not for: they desire their wel…e in this world, but they passe not what they …ll suffer in the world to come. Yea fathers …uide lands, rents, reuenues, great annuities, …es and offices, for their children here: but a…, few prouide or be carefull to hauehave them …ught vp in vertue, and the feare of God. For … losse of their liues and bodies, they will sore …aile and much lament: but the health and …ation of their soules, they make no recko…ing of. If they see them poore and sicke, they …ow and sigh; but though they see them sin, …d greatly displease God, they are nothing …ued. It behooueth, that parents doe care…ly obserue, vntounto what vices their children are …st inclined, and so by good meanes admo…h and draw them from the same. As parents be carefull to prouide temporall things for their childrens bodies, which are transitorie: so much more carefull ought they to be to prouide spiritual things for their soules. And as they be diligent to keep the bodies of their children from fire and water, when they be young: so much more they ought to take care, that their soules be not poysoned with vices, and false and erronious doctrine, when they come to yeares of discretion: and this is the most acceptable seruice that they can doe to God. Children are called the fruit of their parents. Therefore, as a Psal. 127. 3. Mat. 12. 33.good tree is knowne by bringing forth good fruit: so parents should shew their goodnes in the good education of their children, which are their fruit.
To teach a child in the trade of his way, as Salomon commandeth, Prou. 22. 6. is, not onelyonly to instruct him vntounto godlinesse, but also vntounto all other humaine duties: wherefore this dutie then belongeth vntounto parents, and they are bound to doe it. For who should teach and informe Reasons.the childe, but they which hauehave the gouernment and commanding of him? But it is well knowne, that parents onelyonly hauehave the gonernment and commanding of their children, or such as they shall procure for their better education, and therefore this charge and dutie lieth vponupon them, and they must look vntounto it. Againe, this is apparant euen by the general law of nature, which hath taught the very bruite …sts to bring vp their young. And further, this …ie is yet enforced from the opportunitie of …e thing commanded. For euen as a plant will …ner take nourishment, and thriue better in …e soyle where it first grew or sprung vp, …en in any other ground, because it liketh his …ne soyle best: so children will sooner take …struction and good nourture from their pa…s, whom they best like, and from whom …y had their first being, then from any other: …d therefore you parents are in fault, if your …dren be not well taught. For whatsoeuer …d commeth from the parent to the child, is …all and kindly, no otherwise then the …me milke from the mothers dugge: you …ll sooner be heard of your children, then ei… the sage counsell of the ancient, or the for…le and mouing speech of the learned. Lastly, …e rule of iustice doth require, that euen as the … parent Adam, and so all other after him, …e beene a meane of falling to all their poste…, Gen. 5. 3.in the begetting of children in their owne …ge, which according to the law of creation, …ld hauehave beene borne Gods Image: so now … …ew of this all parents should lend their …ds to lift them vp againe, & neuer cease, vn… they see in some measure, the beautie of the … Image, and the vertue of the second Adam. This is confirmed by many testimonies of Scrip…e, as amongst other these doe proue. Deut. … 9. and 11. 1 &. 19. Ephes. 6. 4. Psal. 78. 5. And because this dutie of parents, is many times committed to Schoolemasters, to Masters o… Families, to Dames, to Patrones, and Guardians, and such like: they must therefore vnderstand, whosoeuer they be, that they are bound by the voyce of the almightie, to performe and to doe the dutie of parents, to all such as are committed to their charge, as if they were their owne children.
Now, the vices which some parents commit▪ in not performing these duties before and after named, and ought of them to bee eschued, are these.
1. First, the ignorance of the parents: as if they be so rude, that they be not able to teach their children then they greatly offend God in the breach of this so necessarie a dutie: and therfore they must indeuour to get so much nurture and knowledge, as that they may be able to instruct others vnderunder them.
2. The second vice is, the prophannesse of many parents, who, so they may prouide liuelihood and necessaries for their children, they care for no more.
3. The third vice is committed of such poore parents, which make no great choise with what Maisters and Dames they place their children, so they may hauehave meate and drinke inough, and wages thereto competent, and are neither back-beaten, nor belly beaten, as they say. Alas, such poore children, while they serue … their bellies, they may loose their soules, …cause they want godly masters and dames to …e them wholesome instruction, to hold them by good example, and to gouerne them con…ally in the feare of the Lord. Wherefore …e let all Parents learne, that it is their dutie to …ke chose of such masters and dames for their …ldren, as are godly and religious, wise hear…, such as are both able and well disposed, to …ne vp youth in all good nurture, and Gods …ce: and not onelyonly this (for the greatest care … all lieth vponupon the parents) but also they must … often as conueniently they may, repaire vntounto …m, and see how they profit, and holde them … by their good counsell, and be carefull to …rea…e those which hauehave the gouernment of …m, to be good vntounto them, in this chiefe point …e the rest. For (as Salomon saith:) Life and Pro. 18. 21.…ch is in the power of the tongue: so we may wel …, life & death is in the education of our chil…. If they be well brought vp, it shall be life …o them: but if it be otherwise, they are trai…l vp to euerlasting death.
4. The fourth vice is, the fault of many ma…s and dames, who make no further recko…g of their seruants, then they do of their bruit …sts. For so long as their worke and businesse …ewell done by them, they care for no more, …d they will teach them no further, then may …e for their owne turne and benefit: that is, … be a profitable seruant vntounto them. Such maisters make their seruants drudges to the world and the diuell: and the life of such youth dieth while it shooteth vp. All these sin & trespasse against the will and word of God, because they are contrary to good nurture and godly instruction. Parents must be very carefull that their children may learne some occupation, or profession of life: and this is either mechanicall, which we call handicraft: or liberall, which is the learning of schooles: and the end of this is, eyther to get their liuing honestly, and in Gods ordinance, or else if they want no maintenance, to apply their profession and trade to the benefit of the Common-wealth. No childe of what birth or stock soeuer he be, ought to want this instruction and bringing vp. If thou say, my childe hath no need of any trade: yet the common-wealth and Gods Church, hath need of him: for no man is borne for himselfe, but his friends will require one part, his kindred another, and his country the third. And if handicrafts like thee not, thou hast the liberall Sciences, of which no man euer was yet ashamed, but many hauehave made them their crowne of glory. Saul was annointed king, while he was seeking 1 Sam. 9. 2. &c. and 16. 11. Psal. 78. 70. 71. 1. King. 19. 19. Amos. 1. 1. 2.his fathers Asses: and Dauid was taken from the sheepefolde, to feede with his wisedome, and gouerne with his prudence that honourable people of the children of Israel. And againe, wee reade that those two famous Prophets, Elisha and Amos, the one was called …om the plough, and the other from keeping …f beasts: which examples doe plainly teach vsus …at the great and reuerent God despiseth no …onest trade of life, be it neuer so meane, but …owneth it with his blessing, to draw all good …indes to his holy ordinance. But now a daies, …ch is the pride of our hearts (a thing to be la…ented through all our land) that many gen…emens children may not be brought vp in any …de. Oh it is too base and beggerly for them: …em must liue of their lands, they must main…ne their gentrie: a small learning will serue …eir turne: but in the meane while this ordi…nce of God is neglected, what miserie from …ce ensueth? Who are the wasters of patri…onies? Who are the robbers and rouers in …e Common-wealth? who are the deflowrers … maidens? Who are the defilers of matrones? …ho are the corrupters of youth? and to speake … one word, who are the seedes-men of all mis…iefe in our countrie, but these children of …tlemen, who hauehave not been taught and trai…d vp in learning, or some occupation, while …ey were young? For euen as a weed, if it grow …ancke soyle, will waxe out of measure noy…me: so these children comming of honorable …d worshipful parents, brought vp in ease, and …mpered with the delights of gentrie, they …e immeasurably vicious, and who may …pe them vnderunder? neither lawes, nor Magi…es, nor any other good meane.
First, Parents must teach their children to Good manners in speech.vse faire speech, not onelyonly towards themselues, but also towards others, and to call their betters by a reuerent and an honourable name: 1. Sam. 25. 24. Mar. 10. 17. Pro. 16. 24.
Secondly, to speake modestly and humbly of themselues, and this point of good manners they may learne of that wise matrone Abigail, in 1. Sam. 25. 41. where we reade, that when she was sent for of Dauid, to be his wife, she first bowed her selfe to the seruants, and then made this lowly answere to him that brought the message: Behold, let thine Handmaide be seruant to wash the feete of the seruants of my Lord.
Thirdly, to admonish them, louingly to salute their friends and acquaintaince, and genenerally all others, whom they take to be christians and brethren: which consisteth in praying well to others, wishing health and prosperitie vntounto them: Luke 1. 28. 40. 1. King. 1. 37.
Fourthly, to put them in minde, to acknowledge a benefit, where they hauehave receiued it, with giuing of thankes.
Fiftly, to teach them to confesse an offence where it is committed, with humble crauing of pardon, And example hereof, they may hauehave in that vertuous and faire spoken matrone Abigail, as they may reade in 1. Sam. 25. 23. &c. Oh that men and children saw what great dangers they draw vponupon them by the neglect of this dutie, and might preuent it▪ and also what gratious blessings they might procure both to themselues and others, by meanes of it, as this vertuous Abigail kept Dauid from shedding innocent blood: saued her owne life, with the …es of her familie, and in the end was receiued to be a Princes wife, for the wise carriage of her selfe in this matter.
Againe, Parents must teach their children good manners, and ciuill behauiour, to rise vp … their betters, to vncouer the head, to make obeysance, to be courteous towards their equals, to be gentle and lowlie to their inferi…rs, and louing and kinde to all: this is no lesse needefull for youth, then their meate and their drinke.
Also to admonish them, to giuegive their elders …d betters leaue to speake before them: Iob. …. 45. That they keepe silence while their bet…s are in place, vntill they be spoken vntounto: and …en they must make answere in few words, …thout vnnecessarie circumstances, and direct… vntounto the matter. And they may not be loude, …ling, or hot in speech, but colde and milde: …ouerb. 17. Warne them, that they doe not …errupt or trouble others while they are in …eaking. Prou. 29. 20. Wherefore, if children … keep the bounds of good maners, they must … be streperous or troublesome in talke, but …ey must obserue and take their due time and …se, and if there be any thing spoken vntounto …ich they would willingly make answere, they must either courteouslie craue leaue of him that speaketh, or else they must carrie it in remembrance, vntill their turne commeth to speake, which is the better of the twaine. And further, they must giuegive an entercourse of speech vntounto others: and so suffer others to speake by them; for there is a time to keepe silence, and so to heare others speaking, for he that will hauehave all the talke, passeth the bounds of good manners.
Moreouer, Parents ought to teach their children, how to frame their gestures to a reuerent Good manners in gesture.and dutifull behauiour towards others: which consisteth in these points.
1. The first is to meete those that are comming towards them. And of this they hauehave an example in holy Abraham, Gen. 18. 2. where it is said: And he lifted vp his eyes and looked, and loe, three men stood by him, and when he saw them, he ranne to meete them from the tent doore. Againe, another example they may hauehave in King Salomon, sitting vponupon his regall throne: 1. King. 2. 19. Bathsheba therefore went to King Salomon, to speake vntounto him for Adoniah, and the King rose to meete her.
2. The second is, to rise vp to elders and betters when they passe by them. And this is taught Leuit. 19. 23. Thou shalt rise vp before the hoare head, and honour the person of the olde man, and dread thy God: I am the Lord. But heere wee must warne you of a great abuse, which for the most part is committed in all Churches, and which tendeth to the high dishonour of God: which is this, that neither you your selues, neither your children, nor seruants, doe know the time of your duties, but you will then rise vp to men, when both you and they should kneele downe to God: as if one that is more honourable among you, shall come into the Church, while you are vponupon your knees in prayer vntounto God, presently you start vp, and leaue God, to reuerence men. Is this religion? is this deuotion becomming Gods house? is not this all one, as if a man should say, stay GOD heere comes in my father, my master, my worshipfull neighbour, and my good friend, to whom I am much beholden, I must doe my dutie vntounto him, I must rise vp till hee be past, and then I will come to thee againe? What is this but to preferre men before GOD? this doing plainely sheweth, that such are louers of men, more then God: and that such as take this dutie and reuerence vponupon them, are robbers of Gods honour, and they shall answere him for it.
Is there no time to shew our dutie towards men; but euen then when wee are about Gods seruice? Why, know thou, when man …andeth before God, how honourable so euer he be, hee is but dung and filth, and not to be regarded in comparison of him. And let Parents learne this wisedome, that while they are taught their duties towards men, it is not to rob God of his worship: but there is an appoynted time to eueryevery dutie and purpose: as Ecclesiastes in his third Chapter well admonisheth: To all things there is an appointed time, and a time to eueryevery purpose vnderunder the heauen. It is recorded …cles. 3. 1.of Leuie, to his eternall praise: Deut. 33. 9. that in Gods cause he said of his father and mother: I see him not, neither knew he his brethren, nor his owne children: euen so beloued, our eyes and our minds, and deuotions, should be so fixed and intent vponupon God, when we are in his seruice, that we should not see or regard any man in that while, And againe, we reade in the second Chapter of the Gospel after S. Iohn, of our Sauiour himselfe, who though hee was the most dutifull childe that euer was borne of woman, yet when he was about his fathers businesse, he saith vntounto his mother: Woman, what …ohn. 2. 4.hauehave I to doe with thee? which examples will teach vsus, that when we are about Gods seruice, all other duties must sleepe and be laid a part.
3. The third dutie of good manners to be obserued in their gesture, is to stand while their betters are sitting in place: example of this wee hauehave in holy Abraham, of his entertainning of the two strangers, as it is written. Gen. 18. 8. And he tooke butter and milke, and the Calfe which hee had prepared, and set before them and stood by himselfe vnderunder the tree, and they did eate. Well may Abraham be called the father of the faithfull, for giuing his children so good example.
4. Their fourth dutie, is to bend the knee, in token of humilitie and subiection: example of this, 1. King. 2. 19.
5. The fift thing is, that they giuegive the chiefe place to their betters, and to offer the same to others in courtesie. 1. King. 2. 19. Luke. 14. 8. 9. 10. Pro. 15. 33. and 16. 18.
6. Their last dutie is, to vncouer their head. And though wee finde no example for this in holy scripture, as being not vsed in those former times: yet seeing the thing is eiuill and comely, and one of the speciall courtesies of our daies, we will confirme it also with the authoritie of Gods word: Phil. 4. 8. Whatsoeuer things are honest, whatsoeuer things are of good report, those things do. And again. 1, Cor. 14. 40. Let all things be done decently, and according to …der. Now this kind of ciuilitie, is both decent and according to order, as also honest, and of good report: and therefore warranted and commended by Gods word, and so worthy to be followed.
Therefore if our children be not thus …ned vp in nurture, while they be young, then they be old they shall be found so head-…ong, and they will not be gouerned, but this …nsequent must needes follow, that all order …hall be taken away, and then confusion must …eedes ensue.
For if nurture be neglected, then our elders and gouernours shall not be reuerenced; if they be not reuerenced, they will not be regarded: if they be not regarded, they will not be obeyed: and if they be not obeyed, then steps in rebellion, and euerie one will doe what hee listeth.
These vices and great abuses, are to be reformed, and with speede amended, not onelyonly of many parents and masters themselues, but also that they labour with all diligence, that they may be redressed and amended in their children and seruants: first, the grosse ignorance in the grounds of Christian Religion, which yet remaineth in any Parents, Masters, and their families, who giuegive themselues to sleepe in the Church, to talke one with another, to turne ouer their bookes there, and vsing of their owne priuate deuotions or praiers, in the time of publike preaching and prayer, all which no doubt are grieuous sinnes and transgressions: and besides many absent themselues from holy exercises, and specially vponupon the Lords day, then lying in their beds, haunting of Ale-houses and Tauernes, riding and going abroad about their worldly affaires, for pleasure and profit, being also wearie whilst they be present at prayers and preaching, seldom do they preuent or come before prayers, nay many come in the midst thereof, to the great disturbance of the same, and others that are there: and some againe before the Sermons are ended: other some after the prayers made, and before the singing of the Psalmes, and the vsuall blessing to be pronounced, depart thence, whereof they as well as those that tarrie should be partakers, posting also our of the Church, as it were from a play, or may-game, as though they supposed that no more reuerence should be shewed there, then in other places or that some part of diuine seruice belonged vntounto them, and not vntounto other some, whereas in very truth, euerie one ought to be a like partakers of the whole.
And how should wee looke for any goodnesse from God, where this, that is the seede of … sin, and the nurse of all abhominations raig…eth and swaieth so much?
Let such as are fathers and mothers, and …aue children, know in what sort they must be …refull for them. Their children are the good …essings of God, they be members of the body …f Christ, & the sonnes of God. The kingdome … heauen belongeth to them. God hath apoin…d Mat. 18. 10.his Angels to guide and leade them, and to …eld them from euill: and their Angels be in …e presence of God, and do behold the face of …eir father which is in heauen. They be fresh …ants of the Church. Who knoweth what ne…ssary instruments they may be in the house of …od? It is not inough to feede them, to cloath …em, & to nourish their bodies with necessarie …stenance.
For the heathen doe this, which know not God: and the sauage and bruite beasts, and the birdes, which hauehave no vnderstanding, they breed vp their young ones, and are tender and painfull to prouide for them. The Asse though she be dul, the Beare and Lion, though they be wilde and cruell, yet seeke they far and neare to get wherewith to help their young. Therefore, if there be any, or can be any, which doth forsake and leaue his owne, hee is more beastly then the foolish Asse, and more vnnaturall, then most cruell Beares and Lions, and Tigers.
But in this behalfe, men are for the most part ouer carefull. For this cause many builde their houses with blood, and seeke possessions by iniquitie: they ioyne house to house, and field to field, and will dwell alone vponupon the earth: they oppresse the poore and needie, and doe wrong Esay. 5. 8.to the Widdow and the fatherlesse: they make money their God, and spoyle one another: and all to prouide for their children. This is the couer and cloake for all their mischiefes, they may not leaue their children vnprouided for. Vnhappie are such fathers: which in this sort care for their children, by the ruine and spoyle Esay. 24. 1.of the needie and innocent, and so breake the commandements of God: because their portion shall be with the wicked in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone. And vnhappy are their children, because they are partakers of their Fathers wickednesse, and therefore shall also be partakers of punishment with them.
The Prophet Dauid saith: I hauehave seene the wicked strong, and spreading himselfe like a greene Psal. 37. 35. 36.Bay-tree: Yet hee passed away, and loe, hee was …e, and I sought him, but he could not be found. His roote was deepe, his stocke strong, his branches broad, hee spread ouer and shadowed the whole countrie: yet hee passed away: he departed, his sonnes died, his house soone decayed, and his name was in little time quite …gotten.
Oh, how much better then is it, to furnish the mindes of our children, and to instruct them in godlines, to teach them to know God, … leade their life vertuously, and to rebuke …em, and chastise them for ill doing?
The beginning of wisedome, is the feare of Psal. 111. 10. Pro. 9. 10.God. Let them then learne, what that good and acceptable will of God is. Shew them the way in which they shuld walke, that they go neither … the right hand, nor to the left. The word of God is pure, and giueth vnderstanding to the Psal. 19 7. 8. 6. and 119. 6. 105.…mple: it is a light to their footesteps: it teach… those, that are young to amend their waies. for children by nature are darkenesse, and cannot see except they be lightned with Gods …ord.
And therefore Salomon saith: Catechise a Pro. 22. 6.childe in his youth, and he will remember it when … is old. This is the right blessing, when fathers and mothers giuegive to their children, when they cause God to blesse them too.
When Christ came into Ierusalem the young Mat. 21. 15. 16.children receiued him: They cried, Osanna to the sonne of Dauid; Blessed is he that commeth in the name of the Lord. Christ giueth witnes of them: By the mouth of babes and sucklings, hast thou set Psal. 82.forth thy praise. The words of the little and simple children, were able to confound the wisedome of the Pharises. Thus were they taught from their cradle, so carefull were their godly parents for them.
Contrariwise, they cannot hauehave any wisedome, that dispise the law of the Lord. They become blinde and wicked, and abhominable in all their waies. They hauehave no sence nor feeling of the will of God. They cannot know light from darknes, nor God from Belial. Such were the children that derided Elisha, as also 2. King. 2. 13. 2. Sam. 16. 1. &c.Absolon, whose heart Sathan had so possessed with the spirit of pride and ambition, that hee went about to depose his father from his kingdome. So also his brother Adonijah vsurped the kingdome of his father Dauid.1. King. 1. 5.
Another care, which a father ought to hauehave of his children, is to traine them vp in study and vertue, and of a godly life. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. They which keepe Mat. 5. 8.not this way, are the children of wrath. Herein standeth the whole profession of a Christian life. For God hath not called vsus to vncleannesse, but …. Thess. 4. 7.…o holinesse. This is the will of God, and this our promise made vntounto him, that wee serue … in holinesse and righteousnesse all the daies … our life, that we increase in vertue, and grow Luke 1. 74. 75.… grace to grace.
A wise and louing father which sendeth his …e to a dangerous iourney, eyther by sea or …d: first instructeth him with aduise, and tel… him in what sort hee shall auoyde perils. …ke heede (saith he) the way is dangerous, …ich thou must passe. The sea is terrible, the …es rise vp as high as heauen, and by and by, … shalt see a pit as lowe as hell. The sands …y swallow thee, the rockes may destroy thee. …hou shalt passe by huge mountaines, and …gh a wildernesse, where theeues will as… thee. Thy heart will quake. Thou shalt …e for succour, and find no man to help thee. … these and these places hath many a good …ns childe bin cast away. O take heed (my son) … art the staffe, and the comfort of mine age. …ght come to thee otherwise then well, I …all soone end my daies in sorrow.
If a father be thus carefull that his childe …uld escape worldly dangers, hee must be …efull of spirituall dangers, in which who so… is lost, is lost for euer. Therefore, thus, or to … effect, will he say to him: Oh my sonne vn…stand what God hath done for thy sake. …ke heed to thy selfe. The world is all ouer…wde 1. Pet. 5. 8. Iam. 4. 7. Pro. 18. 10.with snares. The diuell raungeth and seeketh whom he may deuoure. GiueGive no ground to him, but resist him, and hee will flie from Psal. 50. 15.thee. Be strong in faith. The name of the Lord is a strong tower of defence. Call vponupon him in the day of thy trouble, and he will deliuer thee. He will giuegive thee of his spirit. Take heed my sonne, and be not deceiued, let no wilfulnesse cast thee away. If sinners intice thee be not a companion of them in wickednesse. Fashion Pro. 1. 10. 11. Rom. 12. 2. 1. Iohn. 2. 15.not thy selfe to the likenesse of this world: for the world passeth away, and the lust thereof. He that loueth this world, the louelove of God is not in him. Be not like vntounto them that perish. Thou wast conceiued and borne in sin. Thou Psal. 51. 5. Ephes. 2. 3. Col. 1. 12. 13.art by nature the child of wrath: but God made thee meete to be partaker of the inhetitance of the Saints in light, and hath deliuered thee from the power of darknes: and hath translated thee into the kingdome of his deare sonne Receiue not this grace in vaine; but cast away the works 2. Cor. 6. 1. Rom. 13. 12.of darknesse, and put on the armour of light. Be renued in thy heart, and in thy spirit, that it may appeare I hauehave bin carefull for thee. Thus a carefull father seeketh to traine vp his sonne, and to nurture him.
Now there be some neeessarie meanes and helpes, whereby godly parents may the more effectually and vertuously bring vp their children according to the directions before spoken of, as these:
First, not to suffer their children, and youth to …aue their owne will. For Salomon saith, Prou. …1. 20. They that are of a froward heart, are ab…ination vntounto the Lord. And againe, in the 29. Chapter, verse. 15. A childe set at libertie, ma… his mother ashamed. But what will some be …die to answere in this case? Oh hee may be …ken of that time enough afterwards. But …hat saith the wiseman, Eccles. 25. 27. GiueGive no …age to the waters, no not a little. The heart of … childe is as the violent waters. And as those …ich hauehave experience in keeping and repai…g the sea banks, can easily tell vsus, that if the …ing waues should be suffered to breake ouer … one tide, they should hardly in many daies …er it againe: so if thou sufferest thy childes …fections to hauehave the full swinge and course, … but a small season, thou shalt hardly or ne… againe winne this breach.
2. The second meanes is, moderation in …, not to pamper children with too much …t, or that which is delicate, but to giuegive them …t which is holesome and sufficient, and no …e. For excesse breedeth diseases, both in …die and minde, maketh them gluttons and …nkards, consumers of patrimonie, and this …e draweth a thousand more with it: and e… as the fattest soile bringeth forth the ran…t weeds, so pampered children brought vp …hout due gouernment and discipline, thrust …th the greatest and most ouergrowne vices.
3. The third help is, not to cloth them with costly apparrell, or to attire them with new fashions. For this againe is contrarie to the nature of paines and labour, and stirreth vp pride. For euen as soft flaxe is soone on fire so youthfull nature will soone be inflamed with this vice, as lamentable experience too much teacheth at this day. For, from whence commeth this disguised and monstrous apparrell, but from wanton and dissolute education of youth? This is the speciall sinne of England, and if any thing be the ouerthrow of it (which God for his merciemercy turne away) it will be this: the land is too heauie of this sin. For the pride of all nations, and the follies of all countries are vponupon vsus, how should wee long beare them? How art thou fallen from heauen, O Lucifer, sonne Esay. 14. 12. Zeph. 1. 8.of the morning? And it shall be in the day of the Lords sacrifice, that I will visit the Princes, and the Kings children, and all such as are clothed with strange apparrell.
4. The fourth help is reprehension, or chiding. And this is taught. Prou. 29. 15. The red, and correction giuegive wisedome. Whereby the rod, is vnderstood chastisement, and by correction is vnderstood, chiding or reprehension. The want of this help was the vtter spoyle and vndoing of Adoniiah, as may be seene, 1. King. 1. & 2. chapters. And here we cannot but iustly find fault with most parents, who though they be somewhat carefull for their children while they be tender: yet when they be come to some …eares of discretion, as to fifteene or sixteene, …hich time is most fit for reprehension, because then by all reason it should soonest enter; …nd which time againe is most dangerous, because then our affections are most strong in vsus) …h then they be growne to mens and womens …ate, they may not be reprehended, they may …t be disgraced. But know thou, oh wise pa…t, that so long as thou hast a child, so long …ou art a parent: and so long as thou art a fa…er, so long thou must carry a fatherly autho…e and power ouer him.
5 The fift help, is chastisement, and it may …ell be called a help, because where reprehen…n will not serue, that must help: and this …st be vsed in order and method, as the skil…ll Phisition will not giuegive his strong & bitter …l before his preparatiue, lest the working of … should be hindered by the stubborne and in…ra…e obstructions: so the wise parent in cu…ng his sonnes vices, must not strike before he …th reprehended or preadmonished: least ei…er he be too much cast downe and discoura…d, or waxe obstinate. This kind of physicke, … it is more strong then the former, so it hath a …ore forcible and excellent working. For great … the godlinesse in that seueritie, by which the …wer of sinning is taken away. And againe, …mon in the 22. of the Prouerbes, verse 15. …ith more worthily: Foolishnesse is bound in …e heart of a childe, but the rod of correction shall driue it away, And againe in the 13. chapter, verse. 24. Hee which spareth the rod, hateth his sonne: that is, hee is an enemie vntounto him. Wherefore know thou this, O thou father, that when thou seest thy sonne dangerously sicke with the disease of sinne, and doest not vse this help and remedie, which God in his holy word hath prescribed vntounto thee, thou art accessarie to thy childs death, as an enimie, and his blood shall be required at thy hands: because where thou mightest hauehave saued him, thou hast wilfully cast him away. For Gods louelove (good parents) looke to your children.
Oh that parents had lesse carnall affection, and more wisedome: for eueryevery parent is blind in his owne children.
Oh, is it not a pitifull thing, that parents should themselues make graues for their owne children, & burie them quicke without all compassion, and thinke they doe well in it? And is it not a follie aboue all follies, that while the parent layeth his hand vponupon his childs mouth, to keepe away the colde winde, hee presseth it downe so hard, that hee strangleth him therewith? Thus many a father and mother in the world, hauehave killed their deare ones by their inordinate louelove and cockering of them, and thus many poore infants must stil be murthered, because parents will not be warned.
Parents are bound by the law of nature to louelove their children: for what a crueltie were it, not to louelove them that they hauehave begotten and borne? But yet wisedome requireth, that they somewhat dissemble and hide their louelove specially to those children that be of some reasonable discretion) lest they should take boldnesse thereupon to doe what they list.
For if we well consider of mans nature, …at it is euill euen from his birth, we shall then Gen. 6. 5. and 8. 21.…de the yong child which lieth in the cradle, Mat. 15. 19.… be both wayward, and full of affections: and …ough his bodie be but small, yet hee hath a …eat heart, and is altogether inclined to euill: …d the more he waxeth in reason by yeeres, …e more he groweth proud, froward, wilfull, …uly and disobedient. If this sparkle be suffe…d to increase, it will rage ouer, and burne …wne the whole house. For wee are changed …d become good, not by birth, but by edu…ion.
For like as planting and carefulnesse hath …at power in all growing things: euen so …h Education greater vertue and strength: …, and better fruit in the diligent bringing … of children.
Therefore parents must be warie and cir…spect, that they neuer smile or laugh at …y words or deedes of their children, done …dly, vnhonestly, naughtily, wantonly, or …amefully, nor to kisse or commend them for … doing. For children will commonly accu…e themselues vntounto such things, as they shall see and perceiue to be pleasing and delightfull to their father and mother. Therefore they must correct, and sharply reproue their children, for saying or doing ill, and make it knowne vntounto them, that they be neither well pleased, nor contented with their so doing, but that it greatly disliketh them. And again, on the other side, let them kisse and make much of them, whensoeuer they shall see or heare them doe any thing that is a signe of goodnesse.
But such is the fond and too much cockering affection of some parents towards their children, that there is more need in these daies, to teach and admonish them not to louelove them too much, then to perswade them to louelove them. For Dauids darling, was Dauids traytor.
And this is the manner of God, and his iust 2. Sam. 15. all and 18. 35.iudgement, that when any father or mother begins (as it were) to set their childe, or any thing else, in the roome of God, and so louelove the same aboue him which gaue it, either to take away the child, or the thing, or else to take away the parents, before they prouoke him too much. For as the Ape doth with too much embracing well neere kill her young whelpes: so likewise, some vndiscreet parents, through immoderate louelove and ouer-much pampering and cherishing, doe vtterly spoile and marre their children.
Therefore, if parents would hauehave their children liue, they must take heede that they …oue them not too much: for the giuer is …spleased, when the gift is more esteemed then …e.
We may see by experience, how that many Ill bringing vp is a cause of marring many which are of a good towardnesse and wit.…ildren of good wit and towardnesse, are mar…d and spoyled for want of good education, …nd so get those vices from their tender yeeres, …hich all their life after doe for the most part …company them.
For when parents doe either too much …cker their children, or by their lewd exam…e allure to naughtinesse, or neglect due in…ction: what other thing (I pray you) can …e to passe, then which wee see in trees, …ich from the beginning being neglected, …come crooked and vnfruitfull?
Contrariwise, they that are pruned, erected, …dered and watered with the hand and cun…ng of the Husbandman, are made straight, …ile, and fruitfull. So that the manner of life, …cation and custome, are of great impor…ce to moue to vertue.
What a great follie is it in Parents, to toyle …emselues and be occupied in getting riches, …d to be nothing carefull for their children, … whose sake riches are gotten? Assuredly …e can none more precious and better he…ge be left vntounto children, then if they be well …d vertuously brought vp from their tender …e, and be rightly instructed vntounto vertue from …r infancie. This patrimonie remaineth with them continually, nothing at all subiect to the Two things which much hinder good education.stormes and troubles of fortune. But we see two speciall causes, why some parents do more negligently prouide that their children be instructed: to wit, too much cockering, and niggardship.
In cockering, mothers doe more often offend, and especially those which hauehave but few children.
These doe like as if some Husband-man should refuse to til his fielde, because he hath but one only. Who could suffer this mans folly and peruersenesse of iudgement?
Is it not much more to be tilled, because it is onelyonly one?
Yes verily, that so the profit and increase of one, may recompence the want of many: euen so, after the same sort we iudge it to be the dutie of mothers, so much more diligently to bring vp their children, by how much they are fewer.
But wee see what doth let mothers, that they louelove their children more deerely, then that The fewer the children, the more diligently to be cared for, that they he well brought vp.they can suffer them to be an houre out of their sight: but this is cruell louelove, so to louelove their children, that they should be as it were giuen ouer of their mothers vntounto all naughtinesse: of which peruerse and cruell louelove, not a few shall suffer the iust punishment, which with great griefe of minde, and with teares shall be compelled to see the vnbridled wantonnesse and …ngratiousnesse of their children, vntounto which …hey doe now, all too late, goe about to pro…de a remedie.
On the other side, niggardship is oftentimes The second cause which hindereth good education.…eater, then that parents will not bestow the …st.
Whatsoeuer is spent vponupon horse-keepers, … horse-breakers, fooles, minstrels, dogges, …kes, &c. that, some thinke, well bestowed: … if they see any thing to be spent about in…cting their children, they thinke all ill be…wed, and are much more carefull that an …se be well framed to vauting and leaping, …en that their childe be well instructed to …tue.
This inconuenience commeth to the minds …f children, if they be not well brought vp, that …ey become seruile, and lie open to all sinne …d naughtinesse.