Exhortation to the Ministers of Gods Word, Text 3
VVhat the dutie of a Wife is towards her Husband.
THis dutie is comprehended in these three points:
First, that shee reuerence her husband.
Secondly, that shee submit her selfe and be obedient vntounto him.
And lastly, that shee doe not weare gorgeous apparell, beyond her degree and place, but that her attire be comely and sober according … her calling.
The first point is prooued by the Apostles, Peter and Paul; who set forth the wiues duties 1. Pet. 3. 1. Ephes. 5. 22. Col. 3. 18. 1. Cor. 7. 3.… their husbands, commanding them to be obedient vntounto them although they be prophane and irreligious; yea that they ought to doe it so much the more, that by their honest life and conuersation they might win them to the obedience of the Lord.
Now for so much as the Apostle would …aue Christian wiues that are matched with vn…dly husbands, and such as are not yet good Christians, to reuerence and obay them:… more they should shew themselues thankful to God, and willingly and dutifully performe… obedience and subiection when they are… pled in marriage with godly, wise, discreet, le… ned, gentle, louing, quiet, patient, honest, a… thriftie husbands. And therefore they ought euermore Wiues must be seruiceable and obedient vntounto their husbands, & stand in a reuerend awe of them. Ephes. 5. 24.to reuerence them, and to endeu… with true obedience and louelove to serue the… to be loth in any wise to offend them, yea,… ther to be carefull and diligent to please th… that their soule may blesse them. And if… ny time it shall happen, that the wife shall… ger or displease her husband, by doing or sp… king any thing that shall grieue him, she c… neuer to rest vntill she hath pacified him,… gotten his fauour againe. And if he shall ch… to blame her without a cause, and for… which she could not helpe or remedie (wh… thing sometimes happeneth euen of the… men) yet she must beare it patiently, and… him no vncomely or vnkinde wordes for… but euer more looke vponupon him with a lo… and cheerefull countenance, and so rather… her take the fault vponupon her then seeme to… displeased.
Let her be alway merry and cheerfull i… Cheerefull in countenance.company, but yet not with too much lightnes… She must beware in any wise of swelling, p… ting, lowring, or frowning: for that is a to… of a cruell, and vnlouing heart, except it be… respect of sinne, or in time of sicknesse. She may not be sorrowfull for any aduersitie that God sendeth: but must alwaies be carefull that nothing be spilt, or go to waste, through her negligence. In any wise shee must be quicke and cleanely about her husbands meate and Gen. 27. 9.drinke, preparing him the same according to his diet in due season. Let her shew her selfe in word and deede, wise, humble, courteous, gentle, and louing towards her husband, and also towards such as he doth louelove; and then shall she leade a blessed life. Let her shew her selfe not only to louelove no man so well as her husband, but also to louelove none other at all, but him, vnlesse it be for her husbands sake, and the Lords.
Wherefore let the wife remember, that (as Gen. 2. 23. 24. Matth. 19. 5. 1. Cor. 6▪ 16. Ephes. 5. 31. How the wi… ought to behaue her selfe vntounto her husband.the Scripture reporteth) she is one bodie with her husband; so that she ought to louelove him none otherwise then her selfe: for this is the greatest vertue of a married woman, this is the thing that wedlocke signifierh and commandeth, that the wife should reckon, to hauehave her husband for both father, mother, brother, & sister, like as Adam was vntounto Eue: and as the most noble and: chast woman Andromache said her husband Hector was vntounto her:
Thou art vntounto me both father and mother,
Mine owne deare husband, and well beloued brother.
And if it be true that men doe say, that friendship maketh one heart of two: much more truely and effectually ought wedlocke to doe the same, which far passeth all manner both of friendship and kindred. Therefore it is no… said, marriage doth make one man, or one minde, or one bodie of two, but cleerely one person; wherefore matrimonie requireth a greater dutie of the husband towards his wife, and the wife towards her husband, then otherwise they are bound to shew to their parents. The Apostle biddeth, To reioyce with them that reioyce, and weepe with them that weepe. With Rom. 12. 15.whom should the wife reioyce, rather then with her louing husband? Or with whom should she weepe and mourne, rather then with her owne flesh? I will not leaue thee, saith Elisha … Eliah: so she should say, I will neuer leaue him … King. 26.till death. Beare one anothers burthen (saith Gal. 6. 2.Paul.) Who shall beare one anothers burthen, if the wife do not beare the husbands but then? Wicked Iesabel comforted her husband in his sicknesse: and leroboams wife sought for his … King. 21. 5. … King. 14. 4. Gen. 12. 1.health, though she was as bad as he. God did not bid Sarah leaue her father and countrie, as he did bid her husband, yet because he bad Abraham leaue his, she left hers too: shewing that she was content not onelyonly to be his playfellow, but his yoke-fellow too. Beside a yoke-fellow, …en. 2. 18.she is called a Helper, to help him in his labours, to help him in his troubles, to help him in his sicknesse, like a woman Phisition, sometime with her strength, & sometime with her counsell. For as sometime God confoundeth 1 Cor. 1. 27.the wise by the foolish, and the strong by the weake; so somtimes he teacheth the wise by the foolish, & helpeth the strong by the weak. Therefore Peter saith, Husbands are won by the 1 Pet. 3. 1.conuersation of their wiues. As if he should say, sometime the weaker vessell is the stronger vessell: and Abraham may take counsell of Sarah, as Naaman was aduised by his seruant. The Shunamits counsell made her husband receiue a Prophet into his house: and Hesters 2 King. 5. 3. & 4. 9. Hest. 7. 3.counsell made her husband spare the Church of the Iewes: so some hauehave been better help to their husbands, then their husbands hauehave bin to Deut. 32. 21. Rom. 10. 19.them: for it pleaseth God to prouoke the wise with the foolish, as hee did the Iewes with the Gentiles. Beside a helper, shee is called a Comforter Pro. 5. 18. 19. 1 Sam. 16. 23.too: and therefore the man is bid to reioyce in his wife: which is as much to say, that wiues must be the reioycing of their husbands, …en like Dauids harp to comfort Saul: A good …ife therefore is knowne, when her words, and deeds, and countenance, are such as her husband loueth. She must not examine whether he be wise or simple, but that she is his wife, and therefore being bound shee must obey: as Abigail loued her husband, though he were a 1 Sam. 25. 3.foole, churlish, and euill conditioned. For the wife is as much despised for taking rule ouer …er husband, as hee for yeelding it vntounto her. Therefore one saith, that a mankind woman is a monster, that is, halfe a woman, and halfe a man. It beseemeth not the mistres to be master, no more than it becommeth the master to be mistresse: but both must saile with their owne wind, and both keepe their standing.
Lastly, wee call the wife Hus-wife, that is, house-wife, not a street-wife, one that gaddeth Gen. 38. 14. Gen. 34. 1. Why wiues are called huswiues. Tit. 2. 5.vp and downe, like Thamar: nor a field wife, like Dinah: but a house-wife: to shew that a good wife keeps her house, and therefore Paul biddeth Titus to exhort women that they be chaste, and keeping at home: presently after Chast, he saith, keeping at home, as though home were Chastities keeper. And therefore Salemon depainting, and describing the qualitie… Prou. 7. 12.of a whore, setteth her at the doore, now si… vponupon her stall, now walking in the streets, no… looking out of the window, like cursed Ie… ble, as if she held forth the glasse of temptation, 2. King. 9. 30.for vanitie to gaze vponupon. But chastitie careth… please but one, and therefore she keeps her c… set as if she were still at prayer.
The Angell asked Abraham, Where is t… wife? Abraham answered: She is in the Te… Gen. 18. 9.The Angell knew where shee was, but he asked that he might see how women in old ti… did keepe their tents and houses. It is recorde… of the Shunamite, that she did aske her husband leaue to go vntounto the Prophet, though she we… 2. King. 4. 22.to a Prophet, and went of a good errand, and for his cause as much as her owne, yet shee thought it not meet to goe farre abroad without her husbands leaue.
The second point is, that wiues submit themselues, & be obedient vntounto their own husbands, Ephcs. 5. 22. 33. 1. Cor. 11. & 14. 34.as to the Lord, because the husband is by Gods ordinance, the wiues head, that is, her defender, teacher, & comforter: and therefore shee oweth her subiection to him, like as the Church doth to Christ, and because the example of Sarah, the mother of the faithfull, which obeyed Abraham Gen 18. 12. 1. Pet. 3. 6.and called him Lord, moueth them thereunto. This point is partly handled before in the first point, as also in the dutie of the husband to the wife. As the Church should depend vponupon the wisdome, discretion & wil of Christ, and not follow Ephes. 5. 24.what it selfe listeth: so must the wife also submit and apply her selfe to the discretion and will of her husband: euen as the gouernment and conduct of eueryevery thing resteth in the head, not in the bodie. Moses writeth, that the Serpent Gennes. 3. 1.was wise aboue all beasts of the field: and that hee did declare in assaulting the woman, that when had hee seduced her, she might also seduce and deceiue her husband. Saint Paul 1. Tim. 2. 14.noting this, among other, the causes of the womans subiection, doth sufficiently shew, that for the auoy ding of the like in conueniences, it is Gods will that she should be subiect to her husband, so that she shall hauehave no other discretion or will, but what may depend vponupon her head. The Lord also by Moses saith the same: Thy Gene…desire shall be subiect to thy husband, and he shall rule ouer thee. This dominion ouer the wines will doth manifestly appeare in this, that God in old time ordained that if the woman had vowed any thing vntounto God, it should notwithstanding rest in her husband to disauow it: so Numb. 30. 7.much is the wiues will subiect to her husband. Yet it is not meant, that the wife should not employ her knowledge and discretion which God hath giuen her, in the help, and for the good of her husband: but alwaies it must be with condition to submit her selfe vntounto him, acknowledging him to be her head, that finallie they may so agree in one, as the coniunction of marriage doth require. Yet as when … L…e or other musicall instrument, two strings concurring in one tune, the sound neuerthelesse is imputed to the strongest and highest: so in a… well ordered household, there must be a communication, and consent of counsell and will betweene the husband and the wife, yet such, as the counsell and commandement may test in the husband. True it is, that some women are wiser and more discreet then their husbands: as Abigail the wife of Nabal, & others. Whereupon Salomon saith: A wise woman buildeth vp Prou. 14. 1. and 18. 22. and 19. 14. and 31. all.the house: and blessed is the man that hath a discreet wife. Yet still a great part of the discretion of such women shall rest in acknowledging their husbands to be their heads, and so vsing the graces that they hauehave receiued of the Lord, that their husbands may be honored, not contemned either of them or of others: which falleth out contrarie, when the wife will seeme wiser then her husband. So that this modestie and gouernment ought to be in a wife: namely, that she should seldome speake, but to her husband, or by her husband. And as the voice of him that soundeth a trumpet is not so lowd, as the sound that it yeeldeth: so is the wisdome and word of a woman of greater vertue and efficacie, when al that she knoweth, and can doe, is, as if it were said and done by her husband. The obedience that the wife oweth to her husband, dependeth vponupon this subiection of her will and wisedome vntounto him. As 1. Pet. 3. 6. Ephesians 5. 33. Ester. 1. 12. So that women may not prouoke their husbands by disobedience, in matters that may be performed without offence to God: neither presume ouer them either in kindred or wealth, or obstinatly … refuse in a matter that may trouble household peace and quiet. For disobedience begetteth contempt of the husband, and contempt wrath, and is many times the cause of troubles betweene the man and the wife. If the obedience importeth any difficultie, shee may for her excuse gently propound the same: yet vponupon condition to obey (in case the husband should persist in his intent) so long as the discommoditie importeth no wickednesse. For it is better to …ntinue peace by obedience, then to breake it by resistance. And indeede it is naturall in the members to obey the conduct and gouernement of the head. Yet must not this obedience so far extend, as that the husband should command any thing contrarie to her honour, credit, and saluation, but as it is comely in the Lord: Col. 3. 18. Ephes. 5. 22. Therefore, as it were a monstrous matter, and the means to ouerthrow the person, that the body should in refusing all subiection and obedience to the head take vponupon it to guide it selfe, and to command the head: so were it for the wife to rebell against the husband.
Let her then beware of disordering and peruerting the course which God in his wisedome hath established: and with all let her vnderstand, that going about it, shee riseth not so much against her husband, as against GOD: and that it is her good and honor to obey God, in her subiection & obedience to her husband. If in the practise of this dutie she find any difficultie or trouble through the inconsiderate course of her husband, or otherwise; let her remember, that the same proceedeth not of the order established by the Lord, but through some sin afterward crept in, which hath mixed gall among the honie of the subiection and obedience that the woman should hauehave enioyed in that estate, wherein, together with Adaw, she was created after the image of God. And so let her humble her selfe in the sight of God, and be well assured that her subiection and obedience is acceptable vntounto him: and that the more that the image of God is restored in her, and her husband, through the generation of the holy Ghost, the lesse difficultie shee shall finde in that subiection and obedience, as mary in their marriage hauehave in deed tried, to their great contentment and consolation.
Further, there is a certaine discretion and des…e required of women to please the nature, inclinations, and manners of their husbands, so long as the same import no wickednesse. For … the looking-glasse, howsoeuer faire & beautifully adorned, is nothing worth, if it shew that countenance sad which is pleasant: or the same pleasant, that is sad: so the woman deserueth …o commendation, that (as it were) contrary…g her husband, when he is merrie, sheweth her selfe sad; or in sadnesse vttereth her mirth. For as men should obey the lawes of their Ci…es, so women the manners of their husbands. To some women a becke of her husband is suf…ent to declare that there is somewhat amisse …at displeaseth him, and specially if she beare … husband any reuerence. For an honest ma… hath no neede of any greater staffe, but of … word, or one sowre countenance. More…r a modest and chast woman that loueth … husband, must also louelove her house, as re…embring that the husband that loueth his …e▪ cannot so well like of the sight of any tapestrie, as to see his wife in his house. For the woman that gaddeth from house to house to prate, confoundeth her selfe, her husband, and familie: Titus 2. 5. But there are foure reasons why the woman is to goe abroad. First, to come to holy meetings, according to the dutie of godlinesse. The second, to visit such as stand in neede, as the dutie of louelove and charitie doth require. The third, for employment and prouision in household affaires committed to her charge. And lastly, with her husband, when hee shall require her. Gen. 20. 1. &c. The euill and The wife must keepe a good tongue.vnquiet life that some women hauehave, and passe with their husbands is not so much for that, they commit with, and in their persons, as it is for that, they speake with their tongues. If the When the wife doth hold her peace, she keepeth the peace The cause of domesticall combats.wife would keepe silence when her husband beginneth to chide, he should not hauehave so vnquiet dinners, neither she the woorse supper. Which surely is not so: for at the same time that the husband beginneth to vtter his griefe, the wife beginneth to scold and chafe; where of doth follow, that now and then most vnnaturally they come to handy gripes, more beast-like the… Christian-like: which their so doing is both… great shame, and a foule discredit to them both… Silence becommeth a woman.The best meanes therefore that a wife can v… to obtaine, and maintaine the louelove and good… king of her husband, is to be silent, obedie… peaceable, patient, studious to appease his chol… if he be angrie, paineful and diligent in lookin… to her businesse, to be solitarie and honest. The Lacke of knowledge of Gods word is the principall cause why wiues doe not their dutie to their husbands.chiefe and speciall cause why most women do faile in not performing this dutie to their husbands, is, because they be ignorant of the word of God, which teacheth the same and all other duties: and therefore their soules and consciences not being brought into subiection to God and his word, they can neuer vntill then, yeeld and performe true subiection and obedience to their husbands, and behaue themselves so eueryevery way, as Christian wiues are in …tie bound to doe. But if wiues be not so du…l, seruiceable, and subiect to their husbands, … in conscience they ought; the onelyonly cause …ereof, for the most part, is the want and neglect of the wise, discreet, and good gouern…ent that should be in the husbands: besides …e want of good example that they should …e vntounto their wiues both in word and deede. …or as the common saying is: Such a husband, …ch a wife. For so much as marriage maketh …f two persons one, therefore the louelove of the …and and wife may the better be kept and …creased, and so continued, if they remember … duties last spoken of, as also not forget three …s following.
1. They must be of one heart, will, and mind, One heart and one will.…d neither to vpbraide, or cast the other in the …h with their wants and imperfections any …es, or to pride themselues in their gifts: but …er the one to endeuour to supplie the others wants, that so they both helping and doing their best together may be one perfect bodie.
2. It doth greatly increase louelove when the How the louelove, faithfulnesse, and dutie of married folkes may be kept, and increased.one faithfully serueth the other: when in things concerning marriage the one hideth no secrets nor priuities from the other, and the one doth not vtter or publish the frailties or infirmities of the other: and when of all that euer they obtaine or get, they hauehave but one common purse together, the one locking vp nothing from the other: and also when the one is faithful… the other in all their businesses and affaires. Likewise, when the one harkneth to the other, and when the one thinketh not scorne of the other, and when in matters concerning the gouernement of the house, the one will be counselled and aduised by the other, the one of them being alwaies louing, kind, courteous, plaine, and gentle vntounto the other in words, manners and deedes.
3. Let the one learne euer to be obsequio…s, diligent, and seruiceable to the other in all honest things. And this will the sooner come to passe, if the one obserue and marke what thing the other can away withall, or cannot away withall: and what pleaseth or displeaseth the… and so from thence-forth to doe the one, an… to leaue the other vndone. And if one of the… They must secretly keepe no euill will in their mindes, but tell their griefe.be angrie and offended with the other, then le… the partie grieued open and make knowne to the other their griefe in due time, and with discretion. For the longer a displeasure, or euill will rageth in secret, the worse will be the discord. And this must be obserued, that it be done in a sit and conuenient time: because there is some season in the which if griefes were shewed, it should make greater debate. And if the wife should goe about to tell or admonish her husband when he is out of patience, or moued with anger, it should then be no fit time to talke with him. Therefore Abigail perceiuing Na…al 1. Sam. 25, 36. 37.her husband to be drunke, would not speake to him vntill the morning. Both the husband and wife must remember, that the one be not so offended & displeased with the man…ers of the other, that they should thereupon 1. Cor. 7. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. Mat. 19. 6. Math. 19 9. and 5. 33. Luke. 26. 18.for sake the companie one of the other: for that were like to one that being stung with the Bees, would therefore forsake the honie. And therefore no man may put away his wife for any cause, except for whoredome, which must be duely proued before a lawfull Iudge. But all godly and faithfull married folkes are to commend their state & marriage to God by humble and feruent prayer, that he for his beloued sons …ke would so blesse them and their marriage, that they may so christianly and dutifully agree betweene themselues, that they may hauehave no cause of any separation or diuorcement. For …ke as all manner of medicines (and specially they that goe nighest death, as to cut off whole …embers, &c.) are very lothsome and terrible: euen so is diuorcement indeed a medicine, but a perilous and terrible medicine. Therefore eueryevery good Christian husband and wife ought with all care and heedfulnesse so to liue in marriage, that they hauehave no neede of such a medicine. As the holy Scripture maketh mention of many wiues and women that were wicked and vngodly, as partly may be seene by these quotations, 1. King. 11. 1. 2. Prou. 21. 9. & 22, 14 and 25. 24. & 27. 15. Eccles. 7. 28. 30. So contrariwise, the same sacred Scripture also commendeth vntounto vsus many women that hauehave beene deuout, religious, and vertuous: as partly is manifest by that which hath already been said:… also by these places of Scripture, Ruth. 3. 11. 1. Sam. 25. 3. Pro. 14. 1. and 31. 10. Mat. 28. 1. 8. 9. 10. Luke. 82. 3. and 23. 55. 56. Acts. 1. 14. and 17. 4. and 9. 36. 39. 2. Iohn. 1. 1. Tim. 1. 5. And whosoeuer shall obserue it… the reading of the word of God, shall finde that it speaketh of the praise of as many, a… moe good women, then men. Yea, and I a… perswaded, that if at this day a due suruey shu… be taken of all men and women througho… his Maiesties dominions, there would be fo… in number moe women that are faithfull, re… ous, and vertuous, then men.The wife ought to obey her husband in all things, that be honest and agreeable to Gods word.
Now, if a wife be desirous to know how f… she is bound to obey her husband, the Apost… resolueth this doubt, where he saith, Eph. 5. 22. saying, Wiues, submit your selues vntounto you… husbands, as to the Lord. As if hee had said: Wiues cannot be disobedient to their husbands but they must resist God also, who is the author of this subiection: and that they must regard their husbands will, as the Lords will. But yet withall, as the Lord commandeth that which is good and right: so shee should obey her husband in good and right, or else she doth not obey him as the Lord, but as the tempter. The first subiection of the woman began at sinne. For when GOD cursed her for seducing her husband, when the Serpent had deceiued her, hee sayd: Hee shall hauehave authoritie ouer thee. Gen. 3. 16.And therefore as the man named all other creatures, in signe that they should be subiect to him, as a seruant which commeth when his master calleth him by his name: so he did name the woman also, in token that she should bee subiect to him likewise. And therefore Assue… Hest. 1. 20. 22. Num. 30. 7. 8. 9. 1. Pet. 3. 6.made a law, that eueryevery man should beare …le in his owne house, and not the woman. Because she sinned first, therefore she is humbled …ost: and euer since, the daughters of Sarah …e bound to call their husbands Lord, as Sarah called her husband: that is, to take them for leads and gouernours.
Amongst the particular duties that a Christi… It is a speciall dutie of a mother to giuegive her children sucke her selfe.wife ought to performe in her familie, this … one: namely, that shee nurse her owne children: which to omit, and to put them forth to …sing, is both against the law of nature, and so against the will of God. Besides, it is hurtfull both for the childes bodie, and also for his wi… and lastly, it is hurtfull to the mother her selfe, and it is an occasion that she falleth into much sicknesse thereby.
First, Nature giueth milke to the woman for none other end, but that shee should bestow it vponupon her childe. We see by experience, that cucry beast, and eueryevery fowle is nourished and bred of the same that did beare it: onelyonly some women louelove to be mothers, but not nurses. As therefore eueryevery tree doth cherish and nourish that which it bringeth forth: euen so also it becommeth naturall mothers to nourish their children with their owne milke.1. Tim. 5. 10.
Secondly, the examples of the Scriptures are many that prooue this. As Sarah, who nursed Isaac, though shee were a Princesse, and therefore able enough to hauehave had others to have Gen. 22 7.taken that paines. Though shee was a beautifull woman, and of great yeares, yet shee her selfe nursed and gaue sucke to her sonne. Also Anna. vntounto whom the holy Ghost hath 1. Sam. 1. 23.left it recorded as a commendation, that shee nursed her owne sonne Samuel. So when God chose a nurse for Moses, hee led the Hand-maide of Pharaohs daughter to his mother: Exod. 2. 8. Cant. 8. 1. Psal. 22. 9. Matth. 2. 14. Luke. 2. 7. 12.as though GOD would hauehave none to nurse him but his mother. Likewise, when the Sonne of God was borne, his father thought none sit to be his nurse, but the Virgin his mother. It is a commendation of a good woman, 1. Tim. 5. 10.and set down in the first place as a principall good worke in a widow that is well reported of, if she hauehave nursed her children. And therefore such as refuse thus to doe, may well and fitly be called nice and vnnaturall mothers: yea, in so doing they make themselues but half-mothers, and so breake the holy bond of nature, in locking vp their breasts from their children, and deliuering them forth like the Cuckoo, to be hatched in the Sparrowes nest.
Thirdly, the childrens bodies be commonly so affected, as the milke is which they receiue. Now, if the Nurse be of an euill complexion; a she is affected in her bodie, or in her minde, or hath some hidden disease, the childe sucking of her breast must needes take part with her. And if that be true which the learned doe say, that the temperature of the mind followes the constitution of the bodie, needs must it be, that if the nurse be of a naughtie nature, the childe must take thereafter. Yet if it be so that the nurse be of a good complexion, and of an honest behauiour: (whereas contrariwise, Maidens that hauehave made a scape, are commonly called to be Nurses) yet can it not be, but that the mothers milke should be much more naturall for the child, then the milke of a stranger. As by experience, let a man be long accustomed to one kinde of drinke, if the same man change his ayre, and his drinke, he is like to mislike it, as the egges of a Henne are altered vnderunder a Hawke. Neuer thelesse, such women as be oppressed with infirmities, diseases, want of milke, or other iust and lawfull causes, are to be dispensed withall. But, whose breasts hauehave this perpetuall drought? Forsooth, it is like the gowte, no beggers may hauehave it, but Citizens or gentlewomen. In the 9. of Hosea, verse 14. drie breasts are named for a curse. What a lamentable hap hauehave Gentlewomen to light vponupon this curse, more then other? Sure, if their breasts be drie, as they say they are, they should fast and pray together, that this curse might be remoued from them.
And lastly, that it is hurtfull to the mothers themselues both Phisitians can tell, and some women full oft hauehave felt: when they hauehave been troubled with sore beasts, besides other diseases, that happen to them through plentie of milke.
The wife is further to remember, that God hath giuen her two breasts; not that she should employ & vse them for a shew, or of ostentation, but in the seruice of God, and to be a help to her husband, in suckling the child common to them both. Experience, teacheth that God conuerteth the mothers blood into the milke, wherewith the child is nursed in her wombe. He bringeth it into the breasts furnished with nipples conuenient to minister the warme milke vntounto the child: whom hee indueth with industrie, to draw out the milke for his owne sustenance. The woman therefore that can suckle her child and doth it not, but refuseth this office and dutie of a mother, declareth her selfe to be very vnthankefull to God, and (as it were) for saketh & contemneth the fruit of her wombe. And therefore the bruit beasts lying vponupon the ground, and granting not one nipple or two, but sixe or seuen to their young ones, shall rise in iudgement against these dainetie halfe-mothers, who for feare of wrinckling of their faces, or to auoid some small labour, doe refuse this so necessarie a dutie of a mother due to her children. The properties due to a married wife, are, that shee hauehave grauitie when shee walketh abroad: wisedome to gouerne her house: patience to suffer her husband: louelove, to breed and bring vp her children: courtesie towards hee neighbours: diligence, to lay vp, and to saue such goods as are within her charge: that she be a friend of honest company, and a greater enemie of wanton and light toyes. So then, the principall dutie of the wife, is, first to be subiect to her husband, Ephes. 5. 22. Col. 3. 18. 1. Pet. 3. 1. 2. To be chast and shamefast, modest and silent, godly and discreet. 3. To keepe her selfe at home for the good gouernement of her familie, and not to stray abroad without iust cause.
Here it is not to be pretermitted, but wee must say somewhat touching men and women Stepfathers Stepmothers their duties.that be twise married, and so become Stepfathers, and Step-mothers. Such husbands and wiues as marrie againe after the death of their The Husband must so praise his first Wife, and she her first Husband, as it be not done to the offence or reproch of either to the other. Iealousie, which is the suspecting of adulterie in the married parties, ought wisely & carefully to be suppressed on both parties, without apparant matter.first wiues, or first husbands, are carefully to remember that they do not displease their wiues, or their husbands which they now hauehave, by ouermuch rehearsing of their first wife, or first husband. For the course and condition of the world is such, that husbands and wiues doe account & reckon things past better then things that be present. And the reason is, because no commoditie or selicitie is so great, but it hath some griefe and displeasure, and also some bitternesse mingled with it: which so long as it is present grieueth vsus sore, but when it is once gone, it leaueth no great feeling of it selse behind it: and for that cause we seeme to be lesse troubled with sorrowes & discommodities past, then with those that are present. Also age stealeth & commeth on apace, which causeth both men and women to be the lesse able to sustain and indure troubles and griefes then, than before. Therefore such men and women as be twise married, and be wise and religious, ought not to esteeme their wife, or husband which is dead, better then her or him which they enioy now aliue: remembring the common prouerbe, That we must liue by the quicke, and not by the dead: and that we must make much of that we now hauehave. Let the name of Step-father and Step-mother, admonish and put them in minde of their dutie towards the children of the one and the other. For Step-father & Step-mother, The verie name of Step-father & Step-mother, teacheth them their dutie.doth signifie a sted-father and a sted-mother, that is, one father, or one mother dieth, and another succeedeth and commeth in their stead & roome. Therfore to the end that both their loues may be setled towards the children of the one & the other, they must remember that they are stead-father and stead-mother, that is, in stead of their owne father and mother: and therefore they ought to louelove them, to tender them, and to cherish them, as their owne father or mother did. You must not look vponupon them like Rehoboam, who told his people, that hee would be worse vntounto them then his predecessor: 1. King. 12. 13. 10. 21.for then the children will dislike of you, and turne from you, as his subiects did from him: but ye must come to them, as Dauid came to the people after Sauls death, who said, 2. Sam. 2. 7.Though your master Saul be dead, yet I will raigne ouer you: so ye must say to them, though your father be dead, or though your mother be dead, yet I will be a father, or I will be a mother vntounto you: so the children will louelove you, as much as they did their dead father, or dead mother. For that man that is led with discretion, reason, and consideration, will reckon himselfe and his wife all one: and likewise, shee will account her selfe and her husband as one. And therefore they ought to account both the children of the one, and of the other, as common to them both. For if friendship make all things common among friends, insomuch, that many hauehave loued & fauoured their friends children as their owne, how much more effectually and perfectly ought marriage to cause the same, which is the highest degree, not only of friendship, but also of all blood and kindred. But Step-mothers doe more often offend, and faile in this dutie, then men, by reason that their affections be stronger then mens, and many times ouer-rule them: and therefore they are earnestly to be admonished and warned, that they shew to those motherlesse children no Step-mothers friendship, but a right motherly kindnes. Let the Step-mother aduisedly consider, that God hath ordained and appointed her (in stead of their owne mother) to be to them a right true mother, and not onelyonly to regard them as children but as orphane children, and that he requireth her to louelove them, and to doe them good, as to her owne. What a griefe would it be to her hart, if she should know now that her owne children whom shee hath borne in her owne bodie should (after her death) hauehave a stepmother that would be rigorous, churlish▪ and vnkinde vntounto them? doubtlesse those childrens mother, that dead is, had vponupon her deathbed no lesse care for her children. Let her therfore alwaies hauehave in minde this saying of our Sauiour Christ: As you measure vntounto others, so it shall be measured to you againe, that is, as the step-mother doth intreate the children of her predecessor, so another wife may come after her, and intreat her children. For he that tooke away the first mother, and sent her, can take away the second mother, and send a third, which will not be like a stead-mother to hers, vnlesse she be like a stead-mother to these. Verely, a good woman will be vntounto her husbands children that which she may heare them call her so often, that is, Mother. For what Christian woman is so farre from all humanitie and naturall affection, that will not be moued and mittigated with is word Mother, of whom soeuer it be spoken? and chiefly of children which cannot flatter, but speake euen so from their heart, as they would to their owne mother, of whom they were borne. How sweet is the name of friendship? how many iniuries, hatreds and displeasures doth it hide and put away? Then how much more effectuall ought the sweet name of mother to be, which is full of incredible louelove? Therefore euerie religious and louing wife will be mollified and moued in her heart and minde, when she shall heare her selfe named mother, by any of her husbands children.
Otherwise, she shal shew her selfe to be more vnnaturall and vnkinde, then the wilde sauage beast: for there is no beast so outragious and cruell but if any other yong beast of her owne kind fawne vponupon her, she will by and by shew kindnes and mildnes vntounto it. And shall not her husbands children make her kinde and louing vntounto them, when they call and speake vntounto her, by the louing and sweet name of mother?
3. The third and last point that appertaineth to the duety of wiues, is, that they do not weare As Wiues ought to goe comely, cleanly, and handsomely in their apparrell, so they must in any wise beware of pride, riot, or excesse therein.gorgeous and sumptuous apparrell, or broidered haire trimmed with gold: but that after the example of holy women which trusted in God, they be sober in outward apparrell, and garnished and decked inwardly with vertues of their minds: as with gentlenesse, meeknes, quietnes, and chastitie, which indeede are most precious things in the sight of God. This point is plainely spoken of by the Apostle to Timothie, chap. 2. vers. 9. 10. in which place he so flatly condemneth both the excesse and pride of apparell, as also the pompe, curiositie, and wantonnesse which women vse in trimming their heads, by plaiting, crisping, broiding, curling, and curiously laying out, that no man can say more against it, in so few wordes, then he hath spoken, to the vtter dislike thereof. For if a man should occupy himselfe, and giuegive libertie to his pen to write of the horrible abuse and excessiue pride that many women are Pride is hate…ul before God …nd man: Be not there…ore proude, …or thou art …ut dust and …shes.guilty of, in this behalfe he shouid rather want time to write then matter to deliuer. Therefore such women as will not reforme themselues, we leaue them to the Lord; who (no doubt will in his appointed time, not onelyonly seuerely punish them, but also their husbands, for suffering this great wickednesse and dissolutenesse in their wiues, as he did the Iewes for the same sinne, as plainely may be seene in Esay 3. 16. &c. For so it falleth out, according …o the common prouerbe, That pride goeth Prou. 16. 18.before, and shame and destruction commeth after. And on the contrarie part, we hope that such women as be true professors of Christ and his religion, will both attire and dresse their heads so decently, and also content them…elues with such comely apparrell, as best be…eemeth their calling and degree; so as by their Titus 2. 3.good example, they may draw on other wo…en to reforme themselues in this behalfe, and …o rather to come short of that which their …ilitie and place would serue to maintaine, …en any way to exceede therein, to the slaun…r of their profession. And let them not so …ch regard what thing they would faine Temperance in apparrell.…e, but rather what they cannot well be with…t: so that whatsoeuer they hauehave no need of, is …o deare of a farthing.