Spiritual Experiences of Sundry Believers, Part 1 · Section 1 – Section 2
1 Experience of T. A.
I Shall briefly give you my Experiences touching the graces of Gods Spirit in me.
1 Touching humiliation for sin, which I take to be for one to have the feeling of a burthen of sin lying heavie upon him, and throwing himselfe downe at the feet of Christ for mercy, with a broken heart. And it is not right, if it be only for feare of Hell, but in regard of sinning against the Love of God.
For my selfe, I found the terrour of sinne upon me so, that in my apprehension I could not be fit to take part of any good thing with the people of God; and thus it was with me three yeares, so that I partooke of no Ordinance with profit. I heard the Word, but with little joy, only sometimes some short flashings, but could not be thorowly resolved; yet I was troubled, that God should so lovingly send his Son, and I be so vile a sinner.
2 Touching Repentance, which I thinke to be not only a sorrow for sinne, but a forsaking of it to a mans power.
For my selfe, since my feeling of sin, God hath given me a heart to be carefull either of committing, or omitting; I think a man cannot repent before he have faith: A man must first taste of the love of Christ.
3 Concerning Faith, which I conceive it to be in a man, that when God hath opened his eyes, to see the uglinesse of sinne, and shewes him his promises for poore soules to come to Christ, then he roules himselfe on Christ.
For my part, it hath been the desire of my soule, so to roule my selfe, and there to stick, hoping all my sins to be past by. The Promises I rest upon are:
Come unto me all yee that are weary and heavie laden, and I will ease you.
Behold, I stand at the doore and knocke, if any man will open, I wil come in.
Him that comes to me, I will in no wise cast out.
Come, and buy wine and milke without money.
This faith workes obedience, and so according to the Apostle, let us endeavour to worke out our salvation with feare and trembling; and workes great love in us, and a willingnesse to suffer any thing rather then to part from Christ, or any of his Ordinances. For my part, that I have found it so in some measure in my selfe is true, or else I could not speake this. And this love is not only to Christ, but to the members of Christ.
There are other Graces, as Patience, &c. but I conceive love is unanimous that sets the other on worke.
I finde also, that Grace works inwardly upon the heart to reprove it, as well as outwardly to restraine words and actions, and outward offences.
'Tis about a yeare, since God brought me to some settlement of comfort upon the Promises aforementioned, only some clouds of doubts sometimes interpose; but God is pleased to rebuke them, and to assure me, his grace shall bee sufficient for me.
T. A.
Experiences of T. P.
I Have had some thoughts concerning my Spirituall condition, and made search into my Soule touching my estate in relation to GOD; and what testimony I can finde of my interest in God, and conversion to God; and I have found this to be the way of Gods working to bring me to himselfe, through his great mercy in the Lord Jesus.
It hath pleased God ever since I was borne, to place me under the meanes of the Gospel, the neglect whereof hath been a great trouble and a griefe unto my soule; this with many sins more, lay heavy upon my Conscience, especially some offence and wrong offered against the People of God, insomuch that the terrours of Hell laid hold upon me, and I began with Cain to cry out, that my burthen was more then I was able to beare; I was a damned creature, I was out of the presence, and out of the favour of God, and never like to see his face with comfort, ready with Judas to destroy my selfe.
I continued in this condition many yeares. But God of his exceeding great mercy kept me from that great sinne, and at last I received some comfort, in that the Lord proclaimeth himselfe to be the Lord God, gracious, mercifull, long suffering, in forgiving sinnes; and he sware, he desired not the death of a sinner but rather that he should live. And againe he saith, If our sins were as red as scarlet, he will make them as white as snow, or wooll; Againe, I am the Lord, and change not, therefore ye Sons of Jacob are not consumed. These with many other promises of Free Grace and Mercy yeelded some comfort to my soule, yet for a long time I was troubled; if I prayed, I feared my prayers were an abomination unto the Lord; at last knowing the Lord heard the Ninivites, that were Heathens, I thought he was as able to save my soule.
It hath been my care to wait upon God in the meanes, knowing that faith cometh by hearing the Word; and upon all occasions to search my owne heart, what part of the Word belongeth unto me, and what did not; I received some comfort with that promise, I will not breake the bruised reed, nor quench the smoaking flax; Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavie laden; and I will give you rest; and, He that cometh unto me I will in no wise cast off.
These gracious promises, cause me to desire to draw nearer to God in union, and in communion.
T. P.