The Times Anatomized, Title page – To the reader
THE TIMES Anatomiz'd, In ſeverall CHARACTERS.
By T. F.
Difficile est Satyram non ſcribere.
Juv. Sat. 1.
LONDON, Printed for W. L. Anno, MDCXLVII.
THE CONTENTS of the ſeverall CHARACTERS.
1 A Good KING.
2 Rebellion.
3 An honeſt Subject.
4 An hypocriticall Convert of the times.
5 A Souldier of fortune.
6 A diſcontented perſon.
7 An ambitious man.
8 The Vulgar.
9 Errour.
10 Truth.
11 A ſelfe-ſeeker.
12 Pamphlets.
13 An envious man.
14 True Valour.
15 Time.
16 A Newter.
17 A Turn-coat.
18 A moderate man.
19 A corrupt Committee-man.
20 A Sectary.
21 Warre.
22 Peace.
23 A Drunkard.
24 A novice-preacher.
25 A ſcandalous Preacher.
26 A grave Divine.
27 A ſelfe-conceited man.
28 An inconſtant man.
29 Religion.
30 Death.
Courteous Reader,
ANtonio Diel (a Spaniard) brings in ſome laughing at an old man,Burton of Melanc. in Ep. that by reaſon of his age was a litle fond; but as hee admoniſheth there, Ne mireris, mî hoſpes de hoc ſene, nam tota haec civitas dilirium eſt. Certainly to play the Foole in this age, when the whole World's diſtracted, is not only tolerable, but neceſſary.1 Sam. 21. David once in wiſdome play'd the Fool, to deliver himſelf: and why may not I once play the fool, to deliver my conſcience, in a free reproof? which if ever was, is now neceſſary, when vice was never more perpotrated nor leſſe puniſhed,Fraus dolus in obſcura, eoque in … nitabilia. Plin. Paneger, in Trajan. and ſo diſguis'd and fenc'd is ſome, that we may ſay of them as Alexander of the Scythians, Difficilius eſt invenire, quam vincere: More difficult it is to finde them out then to confute them. It hath been my endeavour to un-mask ſome, whereby to render them odious, and however you ſhall finde a heape of chaffe for an handfull of wheat, yet feare I not to profeſſe with that witty Epigramatiſt, Invenies paucos hic ut in orbebonos.Owen Ep. Although vice be almoſt grown a generall rule; yet are there ſome exceptions from it: Some who feare not to patronize Truth and Virtue, though vagabonds. Yet am I not ignorant that hereby I have expoſed my ſelfe to the cenſures of every detracting Momus, and carping Zoilus, ſo true is that Italian Proverb. Chi fà un caſa in piazza, ô è troppo alta, ô troppo baſſà.
Who builds i' th' way where all go by,
Shall make his houſe too low, or high.
He that expoſeth himſelfe to publique view, betrayes himſelfe to every ones cenſure. If Apelles will ſet out his pictures,Plin. Nat. Hiſt. he ſhall heare the Shoo-maker finde fault with what he underſtands not. Much more may I, who have entered into the Liſts with ſo many prevailing enemies, yet have I not aymed at any mans perſon, but only at the vice: if any one ſhall apply to himſelf in particular what I ſpeake in generall, hee will thereby argue himſelfe guilty: 'Tis the gall'd horſe that kicks, ſayes the Proverb.
It is our miſery that we are miſerable, but greater that we are not ſenſible.Aug. Graviſſimè aegrotat qui ſe non ſen tit aegrotare: Iſ therefore we would return into the right way, we muſt firſt know our ſelves to bee in the wrong: Primus ſapientiae gradus eſt falſa intelligere, Lactan.ſayth Lactantius: The firſt ſtep to health is to know our ſelves to be ſick. The whole Kingdome hath laboured theſe five years full, with an uncivill civill Warre, one member deſtroying another, whilſt the whole body is indangered. Me thinks, I heare, our deare mother England calling to her contending children, like that affectionate mother in the Tragoedy,Dum pacem peto audite inermes. Iocaſta to her two ſons Etop… les & Polinites. Sen. Trag. Thebais. weeping over the malice of her two ſons, in theſe words, or ſighs rather, Ille te, tu illum times, ego utrum que ſed pro utroque: Thy brother feares thee, and thou him, I both, but but for the danger of you both. If when Scipio had ſet Carthage on fire and ſaw that the flames thereof ſoared up to the clouds, although he were an enemy yet tears trickled down his cheeks to behold their ruine,Polybius cited by Melancth. Chron. fol. p. 126. as is teſtified by an eye-witneſſe, and can any one who is a member of the Kingdom not be ſenſible of, and ſorrowfull for the diſtractions thereof? To ſee Religion of late become a Monſter with many faces, to ſee that Dove beſpeckled with Sects and Schiſmes! Si fundamentum tollitur, quid niſi ruina expectatur? If Religion that is the foundation of a Kingdom be taken away, what can be expected, but ruine of the whole building? To ſee all government contemn'd, and a lawleſſe liberty juſtling out all Law, labouring to be introduc'd. But I would ſay to them as Lycurgus did,Sir Fr. Bacon. Apotheg. who being about to reforme and alter the State of Sparta, in that conſultation, one adviſed that it ſhould be reduced to an abſolute popular equality, Lycurgus ſaid unto him, Sir, begin it in your own houſe firſt. Conſidering theſe things, and other miſeries wayring upon a civill warre. Quis temperet à lacrimis! The Embaſſadours of Aſia Minor comming to Antonius, after hee had impoſed upon them a double tax, told him plainly, that if hee would have two Tributes in one yeare, he muſt give them two ſeed-times, and two harveſts: But alas! never was taxes greater, and takings leſſe then now, many tributes to be paid, but in many places, neither ſeed-time nor harveſt,Suet. Trā. in vit. Domit. and yet as Domitian the Emperour (a few dayes before he was killed) rubbing a wart upon his face, bloud chanced to guſh out: he ſaid, Utinam ad huc, I w…ſh this may be all: So ſay I, God grant we have not the dregs of that cup yet to drinke off, of which we have hitherto but taſted: for it is obſerved, three things undid the Roman Empire; Young heads, Private grudges, and Private gains. Firſt, Young heads, I ſay of them, being State Phyſitians, but as the Proverb is, A young Phyſitian, and a new Church-yard, and for private grudges, where is the man that will doe as it is reported of G. Naz. who when the Church at Conſtantinople began to be divided, as he ſuppoſed, by occaſion that he poſſeſt the See, hee openly ſayd, Si propter me iſta tempeſtas: If I be the Jonas that cauſe this ſtorme in the State, why, ſacrifice me to the fury of the angred Diety? Where is now the man that would lay downe his private grudges, rather then engage the Kingdom in a publike Quarrell? And for private ends how many be there that long for fighting, becauſe they live by it?Ex utraque parte ſunt qui pugnare cupiunt, Tully Julius Caeſar was wont to ſay of men brought exceſſive low by ryot, or had committed divers crimes, that there was no other remedy for them but civill War. But i'le conclude with this ſtory.
Some few moneths before Domitian was murthered,Suet. Tran. ut Ante. there was a Crow in the Capitoll ſpake theſe words plainly, foreign. All ſhall be well. And one interpreted this prodigie thus,
Nuper Tarptio quae ſedit culmine Cornix
Eſt bene non potuit dicete, dixit erit.
The Crow that ſate on Tarpie news to tell,
She could not ſay all is, but ſayd, All ſhall be well.
That this Fable (if it be ſo) may be turned into Truth, and the Propheſie into Hiſtory, in our Kingdom, is, and ſhall be the continuall Prayer of
Thine, T. F.