Directions fo the Worthy Receiving the Blessed Sacrament, Meditation 2 – Meditation 4
Another Meditation upon the same Subject.
WIsdom hath covered her Table, prepared her Dishes, and mingled her Wine; sh… invites me to eat of her Bread, and drink o… the Wine that she hath mingled; but my Sou… is so dulled by the Pleasures of this Life, that it neither hungers nor thirsts after Righteousness. And though it were more hungry and thirsty after Goodness than it is, yet it is in a bad condition to appear at that Royal Feast, it is too much infected to receive so exquisite Food and so precious a Liquor.
Under the Ceremonies of the Mosaical law, the Shew-bread was never put but in Holy Vessels; and under the purity of the Gospel can Jesus Christ, who is the Bread of Life, be received in a Soul polluted with sin, that sends out nothing but unclean Lusts?
The Manna of the Desart was kept in the Tabernacle, in a Vessel of Gold; and shall Jesus Christ, who is the true Manna that came down from Heaven, lodge in my Soul, which is a Vessel of Uncleanness and Corruption?
The Ordinances of our God are the Pattern of his Holy Actions; he forbids us to cast Holy Things unto Dogs, or Pearls before Swine; and will he give his Son, who is the Holy of Holies, and the chosen and precious Stone to me, a wretched sinner, who have so often promised to my God to live holily, and have still returned to the uncleanness of my Vices, as the Dog that returns to his Vomit, and the Sow to her wallowing in the Mire?
Our Passover, to wit, Jesus Christ, hath been sacrificed; but how shall I come to the Feast, for I am uncircumcised in Heart and Ears? I want the Girdle of Sobriety and Chastity; I have not the Staff of Faith working by Charity, nor my Feet shod with the Preparation of the Gospel of Peace. I feel not, as I ought, the bitterness of my sins. I want the unleavened Bread of Sincerity and Truth. I am puffed up with Pride, and filled with the Old Leaven of Guile and Malice. The Centurion, who had so lively a Faith, that Jesus Christ from his sacred Mouth pronounced, That he had not seen such Faith, no not in Israel, said to our Saviour, I am not worthy that thou should'st come under my Roof: And shall I, Lord, who am filled with diffidence and unbelief, think my self worthy that thou should'st enter into my Heart?
The poor Canaanitish Woman beg'd onelyonly to gather the Crums that fell from the Childrens Table, and shall I have the boldness, Lord, to sit down at thy Table, and to eat of thy Childrens Bread?
I fear, Lord, least eating of that Bread and drinking of that Cup unworthily, I become guilty of thy Body and Blood; and that prophaning the Waters of the Covenant of Grace, the Sacrament of my Redemption, I be severely punished, as if I trampled under foot the Blood of the Covenant, and did spight to the Lord of Glory.
For if Ʋzza was punished with Death for stretching out his rash hand to the Ark of the Covenant, what punishment ought I to expect, if I draw near to Jesus Christ with rashness; in whom the fulness of the Godhead dwells bodily?
Shall I then, like those who were invited to the Kings Feast, refuse to come? Shall I either excuse my self because of Business that o'rcharge my Spirits, or Pleasures that mollifie my Courage, or Vices that corrupt my Soul? Shall I follow the Example of the Spouse, who instead of opening the door to her Beloved, who came to carry her to his Feast, said, I have put off my Coat, how shall I put it on, I have washed my Feet, how shall I defile them? But I am affraid that the offended King may declare me unworthy to taste of his Feast, and that he may swear in his wrath that I shall never enter into his rest. I am affraid that if I refuse my Lord, whil'st he is near, and whil'st he invites me with so much kindness, I may be chastised as the Spouse, and that my Beloved may withdraw from my Soul, and that when I shall seek him I shall not find him, and when I call upon him he will not answer me.
O my God, free me then from this perplexity, and perfect thy strength in my weakness. Suffer me not by Ingratitude to keep back from a Table where thou preparest so great Delights. And to the end I may worthily approach it, give me, Lord, the Preparations which I want. I am not purified according to the Purification of the Sanctuary; but to the end I may celebrate the true Passoever, be thou, good God, a Propitiation for me; for with my whol… heart I call upon thee.
I sleep with the Foolish Virgins, I have no Oyl in my Lamp, to go out to meet the Bridegroom, nevertheless I will not be discouraged; I shall not go to those that sell: I'll not have my recourse to the Merits of Saints, nor the Blood of Martyrs; but I will betake my self to him who freely bestows, to thee, Lord Jesus, who art the true Aaron, whose precious Oyl runs down, not only to thy Beard, but even to the Skirts of thy Garment. The fulness of thy Grace shall run down, even to me, who am the most abject of all thy Creatures. Thou wilt fill my Heart with the Oyl of Faith, Hope, and Charity: And my Lamp lighted at the Beams of the Sun of Righteousness, shall never be extinguished.
When a great King intends to lodg… in … poor House, he sends thither his Officers, and the Rooms are furnished with the Princes Furniture. There is no House so poor as my Soul, for it is altogether void of Righteousness and Holiness; but seeing it is designed for the Lodging of the King of Kings, thou wilt send into it thy Royal Equipage; thy Spirit will come and adorn that Upper Chamber, wherein thou intends to celebrate thy Supper, with thy Disciples.
Thou shalt turn me, O Lord, and then shall I be turned; for thou art the Lord my God. Break my Heart and Spirit, that I may be a pleasing Sacrifice unto thee, and that I may receive the refreshing Liquor of thy Grace. I am hardened in my Pollution and Iniquity, but as Moses heretofore striking the Rock with his Rod, made fresh Water spring forth; so if thou touch my Heart with the Rod of thy Word, thou shalt make me melt in Tears of Repentance: And then, Lord, with my Tears I shall wash the House into which thou intendst to come; for alas! it is all defiled with vice.
At the Feast where thou wast present, Lord, in the House of the Pharisee, thou manifestedst great Charity, in pardoning that poor sinful Woman, who washed thy sacred Feet with her Tears: But at the Feast which thou celebratest in thy Church, there is occasion for the exercising of greater Charity, and of rendering thy self still more amiable; for there are more sins to be pardoned there, and fewe… tears to be found. There streams not from my Eyes Tears enough t… wash thy Feet, but thou Lord, hast shed Bloo… enough to wash away the sins of all th… World; and it is properly thy Charit… which hides a multitude of sins.
O Lord, enter not into Judgment with thy Servant, for in thy sight no man living shall be justified. If I should contend with thee, I cannot answer thee one of a thousand.
For my Lines are fallen to me in pleasant Places, thou, Lord, hast given me a goodly Inheritance, thou hast created me in thy likeness, redeemed me by the Blood of thy Son, and by thy Spirit taught me Wisdom in the inward parts. And when I reflect on the Course of my Life past, I find that thou hast crowned all my years with thy Blessing. Thou hast done me a thousand times more good than I could either think or ask. So many admirable Blessings and special Favours, ought to inflame my Heart with the Love of thee, and make the Zeal of thy House to eat me up; but I have not only buried the Talent which thou gavest me, but also scattered and lavished away thy Blessings, with unparallell'd Prodigality. I have abused all thy Favours, and the light of thy Knowledge has rendered me onelyonly more sharp sighted in evil.
I have been insolent in my Prosperities, and in Adversity impatient; there is no Wickedness whereof I am not capable, nor Sin whereof I am not culpable.
I have confessed thee with the Mouth, but in Works denyed thee. I draw near to thee with the Lips, but my Heart is far from thee, rooted fast in the World. If I adore not false Gods, if I prostrate not my self before Idols, the Workmanship of Mens Hands, I embrace the Honours▪ Pleasures, and Riches of the World, as if they were my chiefest Good. My Pride, Avarice, and Voluptuousness, are Idols of Jealousie, by which I provoke thee to Jealousie. I speak without reverence of thy Majesty and thy Works; and if I blaspheme not thy Name, I back-bite my Neighbour, whom thou hast made after thy Likeness. If I set not apart some time of my Life by unexcusable Sacriledge, to the Service of the Creature, I dedicate to the Flesh an… the World, the greates… part of the days which thou hast set a-part for thy Service.
I have not rendred to my Superiors that obedience and love which thou hast commanded us; and I have been careless in instructing in the ways of Godliness those whom thou hast committed to my Conduct. If my hands are not polluted with innocent Blood, my Heart hath been filled with envy, hatred, and revenge. I am quick to anger, and slow to forgiveness. If I have not defiled my Body with uncleanness, I have polluted my Soul with foul desires. My Eyes have not been free from wanton looks, and my Ears have been tickled with obscene words; or other wayes by my vanity and worldly ornaments, I have kindled in the hearts of others a fire of unclean Lusts. If I have not robbed other Mens goods, I unjustly possess thine, in not relieving the wants of the poor and afflicted I have seen my brethren in necessity and shut up the bowels of compassio… from them. If I raise no false report against my Neighbour, I have no charity to cover his failings; and my malicious Tongue takes pleasure to speak of other Mens evil. I am envious at the good, and covetous of the goods which thy wise Providence hath dispensed to others. I am filled with idle thoughts and brutish affections.
Besides the Offences that I have willfully, and with deliberate malice committed, how many Faults am I guilty of, O Lord, which are unknown to me? My iniquities have caught hold on me, and I have not seen them. They are in number more than the hairs of my Head, and my Heart faileth me. O my God I am ashamed and confounded to lift up my Face to thee! for my iniquities are gone over my Head, and my sins reach up unto Heaven. Father I have sinned against Heaven and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy Son. Against thee, thee only have I sinned and done that which is evil in thy sight. Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving-kindness, according to the multitude of thy tender Mercies blot out my Sins; for I acknowledg my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Turn away thy Face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Open unto me the bowels of thy Mercy. Cloath me with the Wedding Garment, and cover my nakedness with the righteousness and innocence of my Savior Jesus Christ; that I may come to the Banquet of the Lamb slain from the beginning of the World, and that I may glorify thee in the Assembly of thy Saints. Give me Faith, more pretious than Gold, that I may gather of that Manna which falleth from Heaven.
O, my God, I feel thy joy and comfort; thou strengthens me, and givest me courage to come to thy feast; for it is a Banquet of Charity, to which thou invitest not the rich; but the poor, the lame, the cripple, and the blind, who have nothing to give thee again. When thou wast upon earth, thou called'st sinners unto thee and atest with them; and as thou hast encreased thy Glory, thou hast not in the least diminished thy love and charity.
And, O Lord, thou not only invitest us sick, blind, and naked, to thy Feast; but thou makest us come that we may be cured, receive sight, and be cloathed. The Waters of thy Grace are not only for quenching the drought of thristy Souls, but also for curing of all sorts of Sickness and Diseases, as the Pool of Bethesda was. The Angel of the great Counsel is come down from Heaven, and hath rendered that Blessing Salutiferous in all Seasons. The Blood of Christ Jesus lives still and is efficacious. I will not say as the poor Paralitick did, I have no man to put me into the Pool. For thou, O Lord, becamest sin for us, and thou bearest our infirmities. Thou thy Sel… art the Pool and ou… Laver, to that Lave… of Siloa will I go then and there wash min… Eyes, since thou command'st it: and then I may surely say, I was born blind and now I see. Before I gather the fruit of the Tree of Life, I will cover my self with its leaves; for they are appointed for the health of the Gentiles.
Lord Jesus, who hast loved me with an Eternal love, who camest to visit me in my stinking grave, and who hast quickned me when I was dead in my sins and trespasses; gran… that I may be received at thy Table, as Lazarus was, who wa… raised from the dead.
And since thou has… the right of next i… kin to me, being more nearly related to the… than Booz was to Rut… the Moabitish Woman let me, O Lord, find grace in thy sight. Speak to thy poo… Creature words according to my Heart, and comfort me, spread over me the skirts of thy Garments; and suffer me to eat with thy Servants, and drink in thy Vessels. Let me glean in thy Field, that I may bear in my Heart the Seed of Eternal Life; until I come to enjoy a full crop, and the Field it self be given me in Inheritance, when in the highest Heavens thou shalt fulfill the Marriage, whereof thou this day confirm'st the Promise in presence of thy People. Happy are al… they who are called t… the Marriage Feast o… the Lamb. Amen.
A Prayer and Meditation for him who presents himself to the Communion.
O God my Father! I acknowledge my self unworthy of the least of thy favours. But invited by thy command, and the sweetness of thy holy Promises, I take the boldness to approach the Table on which thou exhibits the greatness of thy Riches. Let it not, O Lord, prove to my damnation.
Banish from my mind all those earthly and carnal thoughts which disturb my Devotion, affect my Senses with a religious veneration. Give unto me such Humility and Repentance, such Fear and Reverence, as so high a Mistery does require.
I come not, O Lord, trusting to my own righteousness, nor puffed up with the conceit of my merits, but as a poor wretched malefactor, I draw near unto the God of Mercy, as a miserable sinner to the Saviour of the Church, as one defiled with Vices to the Wellspring of Righteousness. I come as a poor Beggar to the Lord of all things, as blind to the light of the World, as naked to the Father of compassion, as hungring and thirsting after Righteousness to Him who is the Bread of Life, and the Fountain of Living Water, springing up unto Eternal Life.
Thou, Lord, wh… hast accepted the repentance of David the sighs of Man…ssah the tears of Mar… Magdalene, the faith of the Thief, the bitter sorrow of St. Pete… and the Prayers of the Publican; accept now of my Humiliation. I am not worthy to lift my Eyes up unto Heaven, but be thou merciful unto me a sinner. Confirm my Pardon, seal my Redemption, cleanse me from all my pollutions, support my infirmities, enlighten my darkness, and cover my nakedness. Send me not away empty, else I shall faint by the way, but satisfy me with the fatness of thy House; and give me to drink of the River of thy Pleasures.
And seeing Christ Jesus is the Salvation and Redemption, the Ornament and Treasure, the Light and the Life, the Meat and Drink of the Elect, give me Grace to receive that King of Kings, that Spring of Life and Happiness; that Lodging in my Heart, he may there Plant the Seed of Blessed Immortality, the First-fruits of thy Kingdom and the Fore-tastings of thy Glory.
O Lord Jesus, who gavest thy self over unto Death for my Redemption, give thy self now unto my Soul for Food and Nourishment unto Eternal Life. Lord Jesus, who dwellest in the highest Heavens, come and make thy abode in this poor Soul which pineth away in the lowermost parts of the Earth.
My sins and unbelief shut the door against thee; but, Lord let it be said even this day, that thou ent'rest when the doors are shut. Remove by thy Power the Seperation that is between thee and me. Open by the Spirit the Door of my Soul. Bruise my Heart, that the Streams of thy Grace may on all sides flow into it.
Lord, I find that thou drawest near unto me in mercy! My Soul leapeth for joy, my Bowels are moved, and my Heart burns within me. O! that I may receive thee with pure Lips and a penitent Heart. And that thou dwelling in my Heart by faith, by that sweet and delightful Guest, I may find my self strengthened, comforted, and my Heart inflamed with the love of thee; until thou shalt send thy Blessed Angels from Heaven, who will carry me on their Wings into thy Holy Paradice, where I shall behold thee Face to Face; and be satisfied in thy Likeness. Amen.
Another Meditation upon the same Subject.
O My Lord God, though I be a poor wretched sinner, yet do I present my self at thy Feast, because it is a Banquet of Charity, to which thou invitest the poor, the lame, the cripple, and the blind; who have nothing to give thee again. I will take the boldness to feed on the Bread of Angels, forasmuch as thou hast appointed it to be the Food of Penitent sinners; I will stretch out my hand to the Holy Cup, for it is a Medicine prepared for Spiritual Maladies.
But since I am to compass thine Altar, grant O Lord, that I may wash my hands in Innocence. Since thou hast made me free, and willest that I should sit at thy Table among thy Servants; grant that I may be cloathed with the white Robe, and with Garments of Light and Holiness.
And forasmuch as all my Righteousness is but as a menstruous Rag, cloath me, O my God, with the Righteousness of my Saviour, with the sweet smelling Garment of my Elder Brother, to the end I may obtain thy best Blessing: and instead of presenting to thee, I may from thy Hands receive Savory Meat.
Lord Jesus, who coverest a Table for me in the midd'st of mine Enemies, and fillest my Cup with thy most precious Drink, since thou thy Self do'st annoint and wash thy Guests, pour upon me, I beseech thee, thy most Fragrant Oyl. Wash not only my Feet but also my Hands and Head, that I may have part with thee.
Make me not only a partaker of the Seals of thy Covenant, and of the Pledges of thy Love, but also that I may receive thy Self with all thy benefits. Whil'st my Hand, directed by my Bodily Eye, shall receive the Bread and Wine distributed by thy Minister, may my Soul, guided by Faith, receive thy Body that was broken for me, and thy Blood that was shed on the Cross for the Remission of my Sins.
And whereas heretofore the Prophet Elias stretched himself upon a dead Body, that he might raise it to life again, grant at this time that I may Embrace Christ Jesus dead and crucified, that from him I may receive Life and Salvation. That I may not only with Thomas put my fingers into his Side, but that my Heart may dart it self into it. That I may not only behold the wounds of his Feet and Hands; but also drink the Blood that drops from them.
O my true and onelyonly Saviour, since I touch the Hem of thy Garment, being by faith, and the bond of thy Spirit united to thy Humane Nature, since thou confirmest in me thy great and precious Promises, whereby thou makest me partaker of thy Divine Nature; and since I am Bone of thy Bone, Flesh of thy Flesh, and one and the same Spirit with thee; O that thou mayest feel that secret Virtue going out of thee to deliver me from my Maladies, and to stop the course of my Corruption.
Then, Lord, shall I prostrate my self before thee, and acknowledg in the Assembly of thy Saints, that it is thou alone who hast healed me, and that there is no Salvation in any besides thee.
And I shall not onelyonly praise thee whil'st I live here upon Earth; but also when thou hast taken me from this Valley of Tears, I shall take a Golden Vial full of Incense, and glorifie thee Eternally in the Heavenly Jerusalem amidd'st the Millions of thine Angels, in the Assemblies of the First-born, whose Names are written in the Book of Life. Amen.