Directions fo the Worthy Receiving the Blessed Sacrament, Meditation 1
A PRAYER AND MEDITATION FOR A Believer that is preparing to receive the Holy Sacrament of the Lords Supper.
O My Lord God! Thou invites me by thy Grace to the solemn Feast of thy onelyonly begotten Son, my Saviour Jesus Christ. But when I consider who thou art, and what I am, how rich and excellent the Benefits are which thou preparest for me; and how little I am disposed to receive them, my Soul is in trouble, and I tremble to draw near to thy glorious Majesty.
Righteousness belongeth to thee, O Lord! but to me Shame …nd Confusion of Face; …or thou dwellest in Light inaccessible, and I am plunged in the pit of Darkness. Thou …rt the Holy of Holies, and even Holiness it self, and I am nothing but uncleanness. From the Crown of the Head to the Sole of the Foot, there is no soundness in me. The World hath corrupted me, the Flesh misled me, and Satan hath covered me with Sores.
Behold, thou putte… no trust in thy Saints yea the Heavens ar… not clean in thy sight how much more ab… minable and filthy sha… I poor wretch be, wh… drink in iniquty lik… water? If the Seraphim who are inflamed wit… Zeal and Fervency i… thy Service, cover the… Faces before thee, ho… shall I dare to appea… in thy presence, who… Zeal is faint, and who… Prayers are cold; wh… attends thy Service only out of custom, and who am more addicted to the things of this world, than to the advancement of thy Glory?
The Apostle St. Peter thought not himself worthy to be in the same Boat with the Son of God, for having perceived the effects of his Divinity, he cried out, Depart from me O Lord! for I am a sinful man; and shall I, O Lord! who am th… greatest of sinners, ve… ture to set at His Tabl… to feed upon His Dai… ties, and to becom… one Body with Him?
St. John Baptist th… greatest of all that a… Born of a Woman, an… whom thou filled … with the Holy Ghos… from his Mother Womb, thought no himself worthy t… stoop down and unloose the latchet of His Shooes. And shall I who am the wretch…dest of all creatures; who am a sinner from …he Womb, and whose …ife hath been but a …hain of iniquity; shall … raise my self up to Heaven, there to touch …hat Glorious King, and bring Him down to …odge in my Soul?
Being covered with …he filth of so many a…ominable Vices, shall … present my self to …hat Holy Banquet, …here Angels wait like Ministring Spirits sen… out for the good o… those who are to receive the earnest o… Salvation: where Go… is Master of the Feast where the Meat an… Drink is the Flesh an… Blood of God? Wit… lascivious Eyes and fu… of wanton Looks, shal… I behold that Lam… without spot or ble… mish? With my pollute… Lips and lying Tongu… shall I touch the Brea… of Angels? Or shall lodge the King of Kings …n a Hogstie, in a …eart filled with foul …oncupiscence?
I remember, Lord, …hat when thou establi…hed the Jewish Feasts, …hou gavest this Law, Let none appear before …e empty. In this Feast …f Christians, to which …hou callest us by the …rumpet of the Gospel, …ot to commemorate …ne Temporal Delive…nce out of Egypt, but … celebrate the memory of the Spiritual De… verance from Si… Death, and Hell; n… to eat in thy presen… the First-fruits of th… Land of Canaan, b… to love-taste the D… lights of the heaven… Jerusalem; not to a… pear as strangers, b… as fellow Citizens … the Saints, Compan… ons of Angels, an… Menial Servants of Go… Wilt thou, O Lord, … this solemn day, acce… of me, who am void … Piety; who have no …eal or Charity, and …m without good …orks in this World?
By the same Law of Moses, they who had …ouched a dead Body, …ere forbidden to ap…roach the Altar on …hich were offered …he Sacrifices, which …ere but Types of the …acrifice that Jesus Christ offered to God …n the Cross, for the …emission of our Of…ences. And may I under the Gospel dra… near to the Tab… where Jesus Chri… Crucified offers himse… with all his Benefit… May I, I say, who a… continually imploy… in dead works, i… stead of serving t… Living God? and wh… am dead in sins a… trespasses; having ne… ther sense nor motio… as to spiritual and he… venly things?
Alas! My Lord Go… I am straitned on bo… sides, for if I absent …y self from this Holy Table, I am disobedi…nt to my Saviour, who …ommands me to set …orth his Death until …e shall come again; keep at a distance …rom the Fountain of Life; I renounce the …eals of the Covenant, …nd the Pledges of thy Love: And if I come …o it unworthily, I am …fraid I may eat and …rink my own Damna…ion, and draw upon my self fearful Judg… ments.
For if a Fire coming out from befo… God, consumed N… dab and Abihu, b… cause they approach the Lord with stran… Fire; will not G… who is a consumi… Fire, devour me, i… draw near to him wi… the Fire of my Quarels, and the Flames my Lust?
If the Bethshemit… were punished wi… Death for having …ok'd into the Ark of …e Covenant, shall …ot I render my self …uilty of Death and …verlasting Maledicti…n, if with an evil …ye and unclean Hand …offer to look upon and …uch Jesus Christ, the …on of the Living God, … whom dwell the …easures of Wisdom …nd Knowledge?
If he that sate down …o the Kings Feast …ithout the Wedding Garment, was cast in outter Darkness, whe… there is weeping a… gnashing of Teeth, fear, least when I pr… sent my self to t… Feast of the King … Kings, I be throw headlong into the … ternal Torments … Hell Fire. For I a… not clothed with th… Wedding Garment and am not onelyonly wit… out the Robes … Righteousness and I… nocence, but which worse still, draw after …e the Chains of Ini…uity, and the Rags of …he Old Man: I carry …he Image of the Devil …nd the Livery of Hell.
If thou, Lord, …hould'st mark Iniqui…ies: O Lord, who …hall stand? but there …s forgiveness with thee …hat thou may'st be …eared. Mercies and …orgiveness are from …he Lord our God; for we have rebelled against him. But where Sin hath abounded, th… Grace hath abound… much more.
Being cast down i… my self, I raise my se… up in thee; I am wholy confounded when reflect on the horro… of my sins; but m… comfort is, that th… tender Mercies fail no… and that Jesus Chri… came into the Worl… not to call the Righteous, but Sinners to R… pentance. Thy mercy O Lord, is in th… Heavens, and thy …aithfulness reacheth …nto the Clouds. As …y thy Goodness th…u …ivest me thy Blessings, …o by thy Wisdom thou wilt instruct me how …o receive them to Sal…ation!
It is true, that of my …elf I am destitute of all good; but in thy Courts there is an Ocean of Riches. I will draw out of thy Treasures, and say with thy Servant David, when I make my O… fering, All things com… of thee, and of thine ow… have we given thee.
I am dead in Tre… passes and Sins, bu… I am not dismayed, … Lord, for the Brea… that thou preparest, no… onelyonly strengthens th… Living but raises th… Dead. Jesus Christ i… the Resurrection an… the Life; he make the Dead to live, an… cals the things tha… are not as if the… were.
Nadab and Abihu offered strange Fire unto thee, and sported in its flame; but Lord, I tremble at my sins, and repent in dust and ashes. I wish that my Eyes were a living Fountain of Tears to quench the flames of my Lusts; and I draw near to thee, that I may drown them in the river of thy mercy.
The Bethshemites were not allowed to look into the Ark, but I am expresly commanded, O Lord, … behold Jesus Chris… who is the Image o… the invisible God, th… brightness of the Glor… and express Image o… the Fathers Person And it is not onelyonly th… pleasure that I should as in a Glass, openly behold his Glory, bu… also that I should touc… him, embrace him and lodge him in my Heart.
I acknowledge my self to be miserable, and wretched, poor, blind and naked; but I will follow the Counsel which my Saviour gave to the Angel of the Church of Laodicea: I will buy of him Gold tryed in the Fire, that I may be rich, and white Rayment, that I may be clothed, and that the shame of my Nakedness do not appear; and I will annoint my Eyes with Eye-salve, that I may see, though I be th… poorest Creature living, yet I can mak… that purchase. Fo… the Blessings of th… Spirit are bought with out Money and without a price.
O Lord Jesus! thou who givest me the greater wilt not refuse me the lesser, since thou hast invited me to thy Feast, opened thy Heart, and declared unto me the secret of thy Love; thou wilt give me a new Garment, not taken from thine Enemies, like that which Sampson gave the Philistines, but taken off thy self, like that which Jonathan gave to David, whom he loved as his own Soul; for thou art the Lord our Righteousness, and art made to us of God, Wisdom and Righteousness, Sanctification and Redemption.
This Holy Feast which our Saviour prepares for us, is no… like that of Simon the Pharisee, where there was neither Water to wash his Feet, nor Oyl to annoint his Head; but as at his last Supper Jesus Christ washed his Disciples Feet, and dried them with the Linnen Cloth wherewith he was begirt so as often as he celebrates that Holy Supper, he washeth our Feet, waters them with his Blood, and dries …hem with that fine and shining Lawn which is the Justification of the Saints.
As heretofore David shewed kindness to Mephibosheth, and tho he was deformed and cripple in both his feet, made him eat at his Table among the Kings Sons for the love he bore to Jonathan his faithful friend, so, Lord, though my sins have rendred me deformed, and that I ha… in the wayes of th… commandements; halting on every side, sometimes transported wit… idle fears, and sometimes with foolish hopes, insolent in prosperities, and impatien… under adversity, ye… thou wilt receive me unto thy Table, & make me eat with the Children of the King o… Kings, seeing I am the Son of him whom thou lovest, and in whom from all Eternity thou takest thy good Pleasure. I know I am more deformed than ever Mephibosheth was, but thou also art more merciful than David; I am more straitly united to Jesus Christ than Mephibosheth was to Jonathan, for I am his Brother, his Son, his Spouse, and a Member of his Body; being Flesh of his Flesh and Bone of his Bones.
I will not fly the… like Adam, though be naked; for God … no less able than merciful to cover my nakedness: Of the wool of the Lamb withou… blemish, of the righteousness and innocenc… of my Saviour, he wil make me a garmen… of Salvation and mantle of Righteousness.
I will not be dismayed though I see my self polluted; for God is a well of Salvation and Blood and Water streams from the side of blessed Jesus: he that hath redeemed me will purify me: Nor though I see my self poor; for God is the Lord of the Universe: and it is to the poorest in this world that he opens the Cabinet of his Treasures. Nor though I find my self sick, for Jesus Christ healeth all maladies and diseases: and his pretious Blood is not only drink to the Saints, but also Physick to the Sick, Nay if I were without sickness the Blood of my Saviour would be unprofitable to me, for the whole have no need of a Physician, but they that are sick.
But since thou usest me with so much favour, O Lord, suffer me not to be unthankful, nor to change thy Grace into Wantonness. Since thou callest me not as thou did'st Moses out of the middle of a burning Bush, but from amid'st the Flames of thy Love; and that thou speakest to me not only of the deliverance of Israel; but art willing to seal to my Soul my Eternal Redemption, and to give me the First-fruits of the Inheritance that hath been prepared for me before the Foundation of the World. Give me Grace that I may pull the shooes o… of my feet, by strippin… my self of my earthl… Affections and bruti… Lusts.
Root out of m… heart all envy, hatred malice, avarice, prid… and the desire of vai… glory. Banish from … the love of the World the love of my self the pomp and vaniti… of the sinful age, an… all unlawful pleasure Grant that I may affli… my Soul before the for so many sins as I have committed.
Give me that Holy forrow that bringeth forth Repentance unto Life, not to be repented of. Give me the nails of a serious Repentance, that I may fasten my Lusts and Concupiscences to the cross of my Saviour, that a penitent sorrow may be as a Lance to pierce the Body and Heart of the Old Man.
And forasmuch as Judgment withou… Mercy shall be to thos… who have not shew… Mercy. Give me bowells of Compassion, Kindness, Humility▪ Mildness, and a Patient Mind. Cloath m… with Charity, which i… the Bound of Perfection; and if any have offended me, as Jesu… Christ hath graciously pardoned all my Offences, grant that I may do the like; and if have in any thing offended my Neighbour, that I may willingly make him satisfaction in word and in deed. O, my God, I find my self still very cold and faint in my Devotion; but send thou from Heaven some Seraphim, who with a burning Cole from thine Altar, may purify my Heart and Lips, and kindle in my Breast the fire of true Zeal and sincere Charity.
O that I may draw near to thee with a Heart purified from an evil Conscience, and my Body washed with clean water, that I may wash my hands in innocence before I compass thine Altar; that … may hasten to put o… the Wedding Garment, seeing the Feast is ready and at hand.
O Lord! my Sou… faileth, and my Spiri… fainteth within me The more I drink th… Waters of this World, the greater is my Thirst. The more I enjoy of Honours, Riches, and Carnal Pleasures; the more is my Soul empty and dry. Nothing in this World can fill my Heart, nor satisfie my Desires; but thou Lord hast a Fountain of Living Water, of which whosoever drinks shall never thirst again; and thou art the Bread of Life, of which whosoever eateth shall live for ever; Grant the… that I may hunger an… thirst after Righteousness, so that I may b… satisfied: Give me o… that Living Water, tha… I may thirst no more I know the Wellis deep but give me, goo… Lord, the Bucket tha… may draw out of it, or grant that I may plunge and drown my self in that Grace: Tha… Bread of Life is far distant from me, for i… in Heaven, and I upo… Earth, but thou, O Lord, shalt give me the Wings of Faith, that in the company of Heavenly Eagles I may soar up towards crucified Christ, and feed my Soul with his precious Flesh and Blood, until that I be transformed into his Image, and be made Partaker of his Divine Nature. Amen.