Knowledge and Practice, Part 2 · Chapter 10
CHAP. X. Concerning the duties of Governours of Families.
GOvernours of Families ought to be very careful that not only themſelves, but the reſt of their Family alſo do faithfully ſerve the Lord.
In treating of this,
1. I ſhall give ſome Arguments for it.
2. Some Directions for the right performing of it.
3. Shew, whence the neglect of it proceeds.
I. There is great reaſon for it, in reſpect of God, whoſe Honour (above all things) we ſhould endeavour to advance: And what better courſe can be taken for it, than to ſet up his Worſhip in our houſes and families.
II. In reſpect of our Families. The greatest good we can poſſibly do them, is, to inſtruct them in the principles of true Piety. To provide an eſtate or inheritance for children, meat and drink and wages for ſervants, is no more than ſober Heathens do: What ſingular thing is this? To leave them rightly principl'd, and inſtructed, intereſted in the Covenant of Grace, under the favour, bleſſing, and protection of God: This is a high and a ſingular good indeed. For this they may have cauſe to bleſs God for ever. Is it enough for Chriſtian Parents to breed up their Children ſo as they may live in this World, and take no care what ſhall become of them hereafter? Can they be content to train them up for the Devil, to be for ever tormented with him in Hell? (And yet ſo they muſt be, if they live and die in ignorance, impenitencie and unbelief) Where are their bowels?
III. In reſpect of Church and Common-wealth. A Family is the firſt ſociety, and a ſeminary of the reſt. 'Tis made up of ſingle perſons in ſeveral relations: And Towns, Congregations, Cities, Countries, all are made up of ſeveral Families. Particular Families are (as it were) the hives out of which ſwarms go forth into the world. To make Families good and religious, is the way to make good Magiſtrates, good Husbands, good Wives, good Maſters, good Servants, good Neighbours. Families are the Nurſeries of Church and State. Now if the Canker take the young trees in the Nurſery, they are never like to be good when they are tranſplanted. The want of Family reformation, is the cauſe of moſt of the miſcarriages in Church and Common-wealth. If there be Ignorance, prophaneneſſe, errour, ungodlineſſe in particular Families, we ſhall ſoon hear of it in Church and State. As therefore Eliſha heal'd the naughty waters, by caſting in ſalt at the ſpring head, 2 King. 2.21. So let us labour to ſeaſon our Families with true Piety, if we would keep diſorders out of Church and State.
'Tis true, when all care is uſed, there may be ſome bad in the beſt Families. In the firſt Family, there was a Cain, in the beſt Family, a Judas, in Noahs Family (the only Family then on earth) a Cham; yet ordinarily God is pleaſed ſo to bleſs the care and endeavours of religious Governours, that their Families are Schools of Piety and Vertue, and both Church and Common-wealth reap the fruit of it.
IV. In reſpect of our ſelves.
1. The benefit is great that will come to us thereby. There is no ſuch way to bring children and ſervants to be obedient and faithful, as to infuſe principles of true Piety into them, and to plant the fear of God in their hearts. Then they will do their duties for Conſcience ſake: And beſides, ſuch perſons in a Family are a great bleſſing to it. Potiphar's Family was bleſſed for Joſephs, & Labans for Jacobs ſake.
2. 'Tis a great honour to a Family, to be truly religious Let prophane ſcoffers talk what they will; Is it not a greater honour for any Chriſtian to have his houſe to be a Bethel, a houſe of God, than a Beth-aven, an houſe of iniquity? Religious Families are dignified by the Apoſtle with the title of Churches, Rom. 16.3. Greet Priſcilla & Aquila my helpers in Chriſt Jeſus, v. 5. Likewiſe greet the Church that is in their houſe. Col. 4.15. Salute the brethren which are in Laodicea, and Nymphas, and the Church which is in his houſe.
3. It will bring much comfort to us, both here and hereafter. What a joy muſt it needs be to any ſerious Chriſtian, to ſee his Family (through the bleſſing of God on his care and labour) to thrive in Piety, and to walk in the way leading to Heaven? And with how much comfort may be leave them, when he comes to die, having this teſtimony in his own boſome, that he hath been faithfull this way? We know Eli was charged with, and ſeverely puniſhed for the ſins of his Children, 1 Sam. 2.29. Becauſe he had been too remiſſe in reproving of them. I ſhall conclude this, with the words of Mr. Rogers, a learned Divine of our own. Believe it, (ſaies he) Every Governour of a Family is as deeply charged with the ſouls of thoſe under his Government, as any Paſtour is, with the ſouls of that Flock which is committed to his charge: Nor will the publick Miniſtry become fruitful, if that which is ſown in publick, be not watered in private, by conference, examination and good inſtruction. What can we more impute the unprofitableneſſe of our Miniſtry to, than to Maſters and Parents neglect of their duties? You call our Congregations our charge; and ſo they are; ſo are your Families alſo your charge: Thus he.
So much of the firſt Particular; the Reaſons why Governours of Families ſhould be careful that thoſe under their Government do faithfully ſerve the Lord.
I come to the ſecond, to give ſome Directions for the right performance of this Duty.
I. Let Governours of Families begin at themſelves, labouring to reform what is amiſſe in themſelves; that ſo they may be exemplary in wiſdom and Holineſs to thoſe under their care. Let them humbly beg of God thoſe Graces and abilities that may fit them for the diſcharging of their places. Inferiours mind more what ſuperiours do, than what they ſay. He that walks diſorderly himſelf, cannot expect to reform his children, or ſervants, or keep his Family in order.
II. Let them be careful about the conſtitution of their Families. Let them look well to it, that thoſe they admit into their houſe, (as neer as they can gueſſe) be hopeful and tractable, as to Religion, Pſal. 101. v 6. Mine eies ſhall be upon the faithful, that they may dwell with me; he that walketh in a perfect way, he ſhall ſerve me.
III. Let them ſet up the practiſe of true Religion in good earnest in their Families. Let them worſhip God together morning and evening, offering up the ſpiritual Sacrifice of prayer and ſupplication, with thankſgiving. For let them conſider,
1. Is it not the duty of all ſincere Chriſtians to make Religion the main buſineſſe of their lives? Should not Governours of Families endeavour to make their Families Godly, to win the ſouls of thoſe under their Government to Christ? And can this be done by them who neglect to pray in their Families?
2. Does not the very light of Nature ſeem to ſuggeſt we ſhould begin and end the day with God?
3. Was not Family Worſhip the first Worſhip performed to God in the world, for a long time?
4. Did not God declare his pleaſure under the Law, by the evening and morning Sacrifice? And does not the Apoſtle in Analogie to this continual and daily ſacrifice, bid us pray continually? 1 Theſ. 5.17. Col. 4.2.
5. Is not the neglect of prayer made a branch of Atheiſm? Pſal. 14.4. Have all the workers of iniquity no knowledge? who eat up my people as they eat bread, and call not upon the Lord. And are not Heathens deſcribed to be Families that call not on Gods Name? Jer. 10. ult. Pour out thy fury upon the Heathen that know thee not, and upon the Families that call not on thy Name, &c.
6. If Job offered Sacrifice, and prayed for his Children, when they were abſent, Is it not more then probable he did the like with them when preſent? ſeeing 'tis ſaid, thus did Job continually, Job 1.5.
7. Did not Queen Eſther, and her maids pray and faſt together, Eſth. 4.16. Go gather together all the Jews that are preſent in Shuſhan, and faſt ye for me, and neither eat nor drink three daies, night nor day; I alſo and my maidens will faſt likewiſe.
8. Did not Christ pray with his Family, Luke 9.18? And it came to paſs, as he was alone praying, his Diſciples were with him—As he was alone, not ſingly, but privately alone; as appears by comparing this place with Mark 4.10. And when he was alone, they that were about him, with the twelve, asked of him the Parable.
9. Does not our Saviour in the Lords Prayer, plainly teach that Chriſtians ſhould pray joyntly, as well as ſeverally? Our Father, &c. Give us this day our daily bread, &c.
10. Does not the Apoſtle bid us pray with all prayer, Eph. 6.18. i. e. With all manner of lawful prayer, therefore with Family prayer.
11. Is there not a bleſſing promiſed to joynt-prayer, Matth. 18.19? Again I ſay unto you, that if two of you ſhall agree on earth, as touching any thing that they ſhall ask, it ſhall be done for them of my Father which is in Heaven; v. 20. For where two or three are gathered together in my Name, there am I in the midſt of them.
12. Should not every Chriſtian Family be a little Church of Chriſt? And is not a Church to pray together, Acts 12.5? Peter therefore was kept in priſon, but prayer was made without ceaſing of the Church for him. v. 12. And when he had conſidered the thing, he came to the houſe of Mary the mother of John, whoſe Sir-name was Mark, where many were gathered together, praying. Acts 2.42. And they continued ſtedfaſtly in the Apoſtles Doctrine, and fellowſhip, and in breaking of bread and in prayers.
13. Do not the neceſſities of a Family require it? They are joyn'd in mercies, in judgments, and often in ſins; Should they not therefore joyn in humiliations, prayers, and thankſgivings?
14. Can a Family expect to be bleſſed by God, that lives in a conſtant neglect of this duty? The favour of Providence is a mans beſt inheritance. Family Piety is uſually attended with Family proſperity, Prov. 3.33. The curſe of the Lord is in the houſe of the wicked; but he bleſſeth the habitation of the juſt.
15. Were not houſes as well as Temples to be dedicated to God, by the inhabitants, at their firſt entrance into them, Deut. 20.5. And the Officers ſhall ſpeak unto the people, ſaying, What man is there that hath built a new houſe, and hath not dedicated it? let him go and return to his houſe, leſt he die in the battel, and another man dedicate it. Pſal. 30. Title. A Pſalm and ſong at the dedication of the houſe of David. And why ſhould they not afterward be uſed for places to pray in, to read the Word, to ſing Pſalms in, as well as to eat, and drink and ſleep in? Is there not as good fellowſhip in holy duties, as in merry company, and idle communication? Why ſhould a Family do nothing joyntly that tends to the good of their ſouls? Are we Chriſtians, and ſhall we not be willing God ſhould be the Maſter of our houſes?
16. Does not the neglect of prayer expoſe a Family to many judgments, and many ſins? Where prayers are ſhut out of any houſe, there uſually the door is opened wide to prophaneneſſe, and all licentiouſneſſe: And what follows thereupon, but the wrath and curſe of God?
Let not Family prayer therefore morning and evening be neglected, upon any pretence whatſoever; and let all perſons be carefull they be not ſlight and formal in the performance of it. And beſides prayer, let there be reading the holy Scriptures, and other good books; ſinging Pſalms, Catechizing and private inſtruction; a due care to ſanctifie the Lords day, a diligent frequenting the publick Ordinances, a reviving by repetition in private, what they have heard in the publick; religious conference, and whatever elſe may conduce to the encreaſing true Piety and Godlineſſe among them.
IV. Let Governours of Families call upon and charge thoſe under their Government, to pray privately and in ſecret, and not to content themſelves only with the Family-prayer, as too many are apt to do.
V. Let them keep out (as much as they can) lewd company out of their Families. When ſwearers, drunkards, Atheiſts, ſcorners of Godlineſſe, may have free acceſs, entertainment, and countenance in a Family, Religion is not like to thrive there, nor any thing that is of good report or praiſe-worthy.
VI. Let them alſo be careful to preſerve their Families from ſeducers, and ſoul deceivers, 2 Epiſt. John v. 10. If there come any unto you, and bring not this Doctrine, receive him not into your houſe, neither bid him God ſpeed.
VII. Let them watch over their Families. The want of vigilancy in the Governour, is uſually the fountain of moſt diſorders in the Family. Let there be Family-Diſcipline. Let them admoniſh the unruly, and ſeek to reclaim them, and if they prove incorrigible, caſt them out; if they be ſeparable members: Let them incourage thoſe that do well; letting them ſee, they take notice as readily of their well-doing, as of their faults: When there is cauſe to rebuke any offender, let it be done without bitterneſſe or reviling. Let there be more ſtrength of reaſon in their words to convince them of their ſins, and to make them ſee their danger, and to know how to amend; than heat of anger to utter their own diſpleaſure. Let the fault be made manifeſt to the perſon offending, that his own Conſcience may condemn him. Bitterneſſe does oftner harden the heart, than reform the life.
And if Governours of Families would according to theſe Directions, labour to do their duties faithfully, they might be exceeding inſtrumental of the ſalvation of thoſe under their Government. Oh how much good may the prayers, precepts, example, prudent admonitions, and conſtant vigilancy of ſuch pious Governours do? They may more promote the buſineſſe of Religion in their Families, than any Miniſter can. 'Tis morally impoſſible a Miniſter ſhould bring a Town or Congregation to good order, except aſſiſted by Governours of Families. The long deſired reformation both of Church and State ſticks here. To reform all, let us begin at home: 'Tis a vain thing to expect the reformation of a Congregation, while private Families remain unreformed, and are peſtered with ignorance, errour, or prophaneneſſe.
A Governour of a Familie ſhould look upon himſelf as Chriſts deputy in his own houſe, and (as it were) inveſted with his three Offices, of Prophet, Priest, and King. He ſhould be,
1. A Prophet, to teach, inſtruct, catechize his houſhold, Deu. 6.7. And thou ſhalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and ſhalt talk of them when thou ſitteſt in thine houſe, and when thou walkeſt by the way, and when thou lieſt down, and when thou riſeſt up. An uncatechized head, and an unſanctified heart do too frequently go together. Lewis the ninth of France, was found inſtructing a poor Kitchin boy, and being asked why he would do ſo, anſwered, the meaneſt hath a ſoul as precious as my own, and bought with the ſame blood of Chriſt. Our Saviour inſtructed his Diſciples, praied with them, taught them to pray, ſung an Hymn with them; And can you follow a better example? Timothy was train'd up by his parents, and that from a child in the holy Scriptures, 2 Tim. 3.15. Want of inſtruction at home, is one main reaſon of the unprofitableneſſe of preaching.
2. A Priest, to offer up the ſpiritual ſacrifices of prayer and praiſe for them and with them.
3. A King, to rule, command, and govern for Christ in his own houſe, Gen. 18.19. I know Abraham, that he will command his children, and his houſhold after him, and they ſhall keep the way of the Lord, &c. A Maſter of a Family has a greater command and authority over thoſe in his own houſe, than any Miniſter has. He is more with them, and has his eie more upon them: He ſhould therefore improve his power for God; and be like the good Biſhop deſcribed, 1 Tim. 3.4. ruling well, i. e. Religiouſly his own houſe, having his children in ſubjection with all gravitie.
So much of the ſecond particular, the directions how Governours of Families ſhould diſcharge their duties towards thoſe under their Government.
I come now to the third and laſt; to ſhew whence the neglect of this ſo great and neceſſary a duty proceeds: There are ſeveral cauſes of it.
1. Ignorance: Some are ſo ignorant themſelves, they know not how to inſtruct others. They know not how to pray with their Families. Oh let all ſuch preſently apply themſelves (with all care and ſeriouſneſſe) to learn the things that concern their ſalvation, that they may diſcharge their duties towards their relations. And let them know, it is their duty to labour for ability to pray, and for that gift whereby (upon all occaſions) they may in an humble and fitting manner) expreſs the deſires of their hearts unto the Lord. In the mean time (till by ſeeking to God for his Spirit to enable them, and by a faithful endeavour they have attain'd to ſome meaſure of this gift) they may uſe ſome good preſcribed form. Only let them be exceeding watchful over their hearts, for fear of that formality and meer lip-ſervice, which in ſuch caſes we are more eſpecially in danger of.
2. Careleſneſs. Some are of Gallio's temper, Acts 18.17. They care for none of theſe things. They think this more ado than needs. They will provide portions for their children, look that their ſervants do their work; but for Religion, (the one thing abſolutely neceſſary) they do not much trouble themſelves.
3. Worldly-mindedneſſe. Some are ſo worldly, they cannot afford time for Gods Worſhip and Service. Not a ſwine about the houſe, but ſhall be ſerved morning and evening; but God is not regarded.
4. Prophaneneſſe. Some are ſo far from having any religious care of their Families, to pray with them, to inſtruct them, &c. that they deride theſe duties, and ſcoffe at thoſe that make conſcience to perform them. They (through the pride of their hearts) think it a diſparagement to them, to ſet up the practiſe of theſe things in their houſes. Wretched worms! Is God become a ſhame to his creatures? Who are they, or what is their Fathers houſe, that they are too good to be the ſervants of the moſt High? Let them make their peace with that Scripture, Mark 8. ult. Whoſoever therefore ſhall be aſhamed of me, and of my words, in this adulterous and ſinful generation, of him alſo ſhall the Son of man be aſhamed, when he cometh in the Glory of his Father, with the holy Angels.
5. Looſe Opinions, under pretence of new Light, ſetting people at liberty from the obſervation and practiſe of thoſe duties, whereby the life and power of Religion is moſt maintained and preſerved.
Let Governours of Families therefore beware of all theſe things, and whatever elſe may hinder them from a Conſcionable diſcharge of their Duties.
Gen. 18.19. For I know him, that he will command his Children and his houſhold after him, and they ſhall keep the way of the Lord, to do Juſtice and Judgment, that the Lord may bring upon Abraham, that which he hath ſpoken of him.
Joſh. 24.15. — But as for me and my houſe we will ſerve the Lord.
1 Sam. 1.21. And the man Elkanah, and all his houſe went up to offer unto the Lord the yearly Sacrifice, and his vow.
Acts 10.2. Cornelius a devout man, and one that feared God with all his houſe, which gave much Almes to the people, and prayed to God alway.