Of Domestical Duties, Treatise 6 · Section 33 – Section 34
§ 33. Of parents faults contrary to their dutie of training their children vp to a calling.
On the contrary, many parents much offend in not training vp their children to a calling as they ſhould. And the offence in this kinde is committed many waies. As
1. When parents ſuffer their children to liue like little maſters at home, and paſſe ouer all their youth in idleneſſe. Thus they proue very drones, and caterpillars in the common wealth: if they hauehave a patrimony, they ſoone waſte it: if they hauehave none, they oft proue either theeues or beggars: they are fit for all companies: the readieſt prey for the deuill that can be: for they are like the houſe empty, ſwept and garniſhed, which Mat. 12. 44.when the euill ſpirit eſpieth, he preſently entereth into it with ſeuen other ſpirits worſe then himſelfe.
The wiſe law-maker among the heathen is ſaid to order Solon legibus cauiſſe legitur, vt filius, quem parentes nullam artem docuiſſent, non cogeretur illos alere ſenio confectos, aut ad inopiam redactos. Eraſ. Inſtit. Matrim.that the childe which by his parents had beene taught no Art, ſhould not be forced to nouriſh them though they were old or poore. This I all eage not to iuſtifie the law (for it is againſt the Chriſtian rule of ouercomming euill with goodneſſe) but to ſhew how the very heathen iudged the neglect of this dutie a great fault in parents.
2. When parents neglect to teach their children in their child-hood the generall and common grounds of all callings: ſome vponupon niggardlineſſe; others vponupon careleſneſſe. Thus poore men make their children vnfit for many meanes, whereby they might well maintaine themſelues: and rich men make theirs vnfit for magiſtracy, and for good ſociety. Yea poore and rich are thus nouſled vp the more in ignorance, and made the more vnfit to profit by the preaching of the word, and other meanes of ſpirituall edification.
3. When parents bring vp their children in vnwarrantable and vnlawfull callings, as to be of popiſh and idolatrous orders; to attend vponupon papiſts; to be ſtage-plaiers, keepers of dice-houſes, &c. Some (which is horrible to thinke of) traine vp their daughters to be common ſtrumpets: and ſome Phoenices Veneri donum dabant de proſtitatione filiarum, antequam iungerent eas viris. Aug de Ciu. D. l. 4 c. 10. vide Lud. Uiu. in hunc loc. Recte dicuntur parentes filios daemoniorum ſacrilegijs obligare conantes, ſpir taliter homicidae. Aug. Epiſt. 23.(which is yet more horrible) traine vp their children to be ſorcerers and witches. How can they in theſe keepe a good conſcience, when the very workes of their calling are ſinne? Is not this to thruſt them headlong into hell? They who thus binde their children to the deuils ſacrileges are ſpirituall murtherers of them.
4. When parents hauehave no reſpect at all to the fitneſſe of the calling: as when they traine vp children of able bodies, but dull and ſlow capacity, of a ſtuttering tongue and other like imperfections, to learning, wherein they proue very dunces, and loſe all their time, or are not able to make vſe of the learning which they hauehave: or when they traine vp children which hauehave a great inclination to learning, and are very fit thereunto, in ſome other trade, which, after many yeeres ſpeut therein, they are forced to leaue.
5. When parents only ſeeke after the moſt gainfull trade, and neuer thinke to educate their children moſt to the honour of God. How can ſuch expect Gods bleſſing vponupon the meanes vſed for their childrens good? Hence is it that among Papiſts ſo many are trained vp to Eccleſiaſticall orders and functions: and ſo few among Proteſtants. For there is very great maintenance and reuenues for ſuch among Papiſts: but little in compariſon among Proteſtants:Infans tibi eſt? ab infantia ſanctitate imbuatur: abipſis vnguiculis Spiritui conſecre tur. Greg. Naz. Orat. 40. in S. Bapt. Lege Hier. Epiſt. ad Laet.
§. 34. Of parents teaching their children piety.
The ſpirituall good of children, and that in their childhood, is to be procured by parents as well as their temporall. Wherefore Parents muſt traine vp their children in true piety. This is expreſly commanded in my text vnderunder this phraſe admonition of the Lord. VnderUnder the law God did both ſimply bDeut. 4. 9. & 6. 7 & 11. 19. Pſal. 78. 5, 6.command it, and that very often, and alſo ordained diuers outward cExo. 12 26. & 13. 14.rites, and cauſed many viſible and extraordinary dIoſ 4. 6, 7, 21.monuments to be ſet vp, that thereby children might be occaſioned to aske of their parents the myſterie of them, and that parents from that inquirie of their children might take occaſion to eDeul. 6. 20.teach them the ordinances of the Lord.
This expreſſe charge of the Lord is further commended by that practiſe which holy parents from time to time hauehave yeelded thereunto: inſtance the examples of fGen. 18. 19.Abraham, gPro. 4 4.Dauid, h& 31. 1.Bathſheba, i2 Tim. 1. 5. Reaſons. 1. Benefit of pietie.Lois and Eunice, with many others.
1. Pietie is the beſt thing that a parent can teach his childe: for as reaſon maketh a man differ from a beaſt; and as learning and ciuilitie maketh a wiſe and ſober man differ from ſauages and ſwaggerers; ſo pietie maketh a ſound Chriſtian much more to differ from the moſt ciuill and well ordered naturall man that can be. Learning, ciuilitie, calling, portion, are all nothing without pietie. Now it is an eſpeciall point of wiſdome, to ſeeke the beſt good that we can, as for our ſelues, ſo alſo for our children: yea this is an euident ſigne of a parents true louelove of his childe.
2. There is a neceſſitie that children be taught pietie, becauſe 2. Neceſſitie of pietie. Fiunt non naſcuntur Chriſtiani. Hier. ad Laet.they are not borne but made Chriſtians: by nature they are vtterly deſtitute of all pietie: for by nature eueryevery imagination of the thoughts of mans heart is only euill continually (Gen. 6. 5.) and in that reſpect man is borne like the wilde aſſe colt (Iob 11. 12.) ſo as a man were better be vnborne then not taught pietie.
3. The charge and office of parents bindeth them to teach their 3. Charge of parents.children pietie: for they are by God made watchmen ouer their children: if therefore their children liue and die in impietie through their parents negligence, their bloud ſhall be required at their parents hands: inſtance the example of k1 Sam. 3. 13.Elie.
Obiect. This dutie appertaineth to Miniſters.Why Parents as well as Miniſters are bour…d to teach pietie.
Anſw. 1. God hath giuen an expreſſe charge hereof to parents, as we heard before.
2. In the familie a parent is all in all ouer his childe: a King, a Prieſt, and a Prophet. Therefore that which a Miniſter is to doe for matter of inſtruction in the Church, a parent muſt do at home.
3 Children hauehave need of daily inſtruction: the parents paines in this kinde muſt be added to the Miniſters: and both are little enough.
4. Parents hauing more familiaritie with their children then Miniſters, muſt needs better know their capacitie, and their diſpoſition: and ſo may better know after what manner to inſtruct them: whether to giuegive them milke or ſtrong meat, whether to deale mildly or roughly with them.
5. Inſtructions from parents are commonly more kindly accepted then from others: and children will the better relliſh them, when they come from their parents. They ſay that a plant will beſt grow in the ſoile out of which it firſt ſprung: ſo inſtructions comming from thoſe who both brought vsus forth, and firſt brought vsus vp, are like to doe moſt good.
6. There is no ſuch meanes to breed louelove in a childs heart, as to be an inſtrument of bringing piety thereinto. Now who ſhould more ſeeke the true louelove of a childe then a parent? In this reſpect a parent is more bound to this dutie then a Miniſter.
7. It is impoſſible, that a Miniſter, who, it may be, hath many hundred children vnderunder his charge, ſhould well inſtruct them all: It is therefore requiſite, that each parent looke to his owne children.
As theſe diſtinct anſwers ſatisfie the obiection, ſo they ſerue as ſo many more reaſons to inforce the dutie: wherefore to proceed in adding other reaſons,
4. Great equitie there is that parents teach their children piety, 4. Equitie.becauſe they pPſal. 51. 5.conceiued and brought them forth in iniquitie. If they ſuffer them to lie and die in that corrupt eſtate, they are more cruell then the Oſtrich and Dragon.
5. Children are moſt properly Gods: qEzec. 16. 20, 21.borne to God: he is the 5. Gods children.moſt proper parent of them: in compariſon of God, fathers and mothers of the fleſh are but nurſes. They muſt therefore nurture them in the admonition of the Lord.
6. Pietie is that, which of all other things, will make the childe 6. Cauſe of obedience.moſt obedient, and gratefull to his parents: for thus there is a double bond to binde him: 1. his birth. 2. his new birth: eſpecially when the cauſe of the one hath beene alſo the cauſe of the other.
7. Nothing can more ſettle the heart of a wiſe parent on his 7. Comfort of parents on their deathbed.death-bed concerning his children, then aſſurance that pietie is planted in them: for then may he with ſtronger confidence commend them to Gods prouidence, and with greater aſſurance expect his bleſſing vponupon them after he is dead.
8. Parents, by teaching their children pietie, are an eſpeciall 8. Propagation of pietie.meanes of propagating true religion from age to age, and from generation to generation. No better meanes can be thought of. For if all parents were carefull of their dutie in this kinde, as there is a ſucceſſion of children, and thereby a preſeruation of mankinde, ſo there would be a ſucceſſion of thoſe that feare God, and thereby a preſeruation of true religion. My children that are taught by me, may be fathers of children, and ſo teach that to their children, which they hauehave learned of me: yea after them may grandchildren proue fathers of other children, and they teach their children the ſame, and ſo from age to age others after them. This is the meanes on our part: and in our time we muſt doe our part: and for thoſe who come after vsus, leaue the iſſue to God.
Not only the great benefit of this point, but alſo the too much neglect thereof, in moſt families, hath moued me the longer to inſiſt on it, and the more forcibly to preſſe it. For the better performing thereof, I will adde ſome directions.