Of Domestical Duties, Treatise 4 · Section 75 – Section 76
§. 75. Of Chriſts example, a motiue to prouoke husbands to louelove their wiues.
The forenamed examples of Chriſt and of our ſelues as Generall reaſons. 1. Chriſts example.they are patternes for our direction, ſo generall motiues to prouoke and ſtirre vsus vp the more to performe all the forenamed duties after the manner preſcribed.
A greater, and ſtronger motiue cannot be yeelded then the Chriſts example the greateſt motiue that can be.example of Chriſt. Example in it ſelfe is of great force to prouoke vsus to doe any thing: eſpecially if it be the example of ſome great one, a man of place and renoune.
But who greater then Chriſt? What more worthy patterne? If (as was *Treat. 3. §. 74.ſhewed) the example of the Church be of great force to moue wiues to be ſubiect to their husbands, the example of Chriſt muſt needs be of much greater force to moue husbands to louelove their wiues. A great honour it is to be like vntounto Chriſt: and his example is a perfect patterne.
Two things there be which in Chriſts example are eſpecially Two things in Chriſts patterne prouoke huſbands to louelove their wiues.to be noted to moue husbands to louelove their wiues.
1. That great inequality which is betwixt him and his ſpouſe.
2. That ſmall benefit which he reapeth by louing her.
For the better diſcerning of that inequality, the greatneſſe of 1. The great inequality betwixt Chriſt and his ſpouſe.Chriſt on the one ſide, and the meaneſſe of the Church on the other, are duly to be weighed.
Chriſts greatneſſe is in Scripture ſet forth by comparing him with creatures, and the Creator. Compared with creatures he is farre more excellent then the moſt excellent, as the Apoſtle by many arguments proueth in the firſt chapter to Hebr. that whole chapter is ſpent in proofe of this point: And in another place it is ſaid that aEph. 1. 21.He is ſet farre aboue all principality and power, and might, and dominion, and eueryevery name that is named not only in this world, but alſo in that which is to come.
Compared with the Creator he is no whit inferiour to him, but bPhil. 2. 6.equall: cHeb. 1. 3.Being the brightneſſe of glory, and the expreſſe image of his perſon: and that dIob. 1. 1, 3.word of whom it is ſaid, In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God: All things were made by him &c. So as he is the very Creator himſelfe, eternall, infinite, incomprehenſible. Thus is Chriſts greatneſſe inexplicable.
The meaneſſe of the Church is as low on the other ſide: ſhe is a creature, faſhioned out of the earth, proceeding from the loines of corrupt Adam, not only finite, but in it ſelfe vile and baſe: The Prophet eEzec. 16. 1. &c.Ezechiel doth ſet her forth in her liuely colours as ſhe is in her ſelfe. Compared therefore vntounto Chriſt ſhe is fIſa. 40. 17.nothing, leſſe then nothing. What equality, what proportion can there then be betwixt Chriſt and her?
But if man and woman be compared together, we ſhall finde a neere equality: and that both in the points of their humiliation, and alſo of their exaltation. In regard of the former, they are both of the ſame mould, of the ſame corrupt nature, ſubiect to the ſame infirmities, at length brought to the ſame end. In regard of the latter the beſt and greateſt priuiledges are common to both of them: they are both made after the ſame image, redeemed by the ſame price, partakers of the ſame grace, and heires together of the ſame inheritance.
Queſt. What is then the preferment of the male kinde? What is the excellency of an husband?
Anſw. Only outward and momentany. Outward, in the things of this world only: for gGal. 3. 28.in Chriſt Ieſus they are both one. Momentany, for the time of this life only: for hMat. 22. 30.in the reſurrection they neither marie, nor are giuen in mariage, but are as the Angels of God in heauen: then all ſubiection of wiues to husbands ceaſeth.
To conclude this point, the inequality betwixt Chriſt and the Church, and equality betwixt man and wife being ſuch as hath beene declared; ſeeing Chriſt vouchſafeth to louelove his Church, ought not man thereby be moued to louelove his wife?
The other point concerning the ſmall benefit which Chriſt 2. The ſmall benefit that Chriſt reapeth by louing his Church.reapeth by his Church, will yet further inforce the point: for illuſtration whereof we will note the great benefit which man reapeth by his wife.
The benefit which Chriſt reapeth from the Church is in one word nothing. For Chriſt is in himſelfe Al-ſufficient: he neither needeth any thing, nor can receiue any thing: iIob 35. 7.If thou be eſt righteous, what giueſt thou to him? Or what receiueth he of thine hand? Yet abundantly he beſtoweth all manner of gifts, temporall, and ſpirituall, earthly and heauenly. It was not therefore his owne good that he reſpected in louing the Church, but her good: for he being k1 Tim. 3. 16.God became man; being Lord of heauen and earth, he tooke vponupon him lPhil. 2. 6, 7.the forme of a ſeruant; being m2 Cor. 8 9.rich he became poore: hauing the nReu. 1. 18.Keyes of hell and of death, and being oAct. 3. 15.the Lord of life, he pPhil. 2. 8.humbled himſelfe, and became obedient vntounto the death: thus to ſhew louelove to his Church he left much for her ſake, but receiued nothing of her.
But the benefit which man reapeth from a wife is very great: for qGen. 2. 18.It was not good for a man to be alone: in ſo much as rPro. 18. 22.He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing; and that in all the points of goodneſſe, a profitable thing, a comfortable thing, a delightfull thing. They know not the benefit of the maried eſtate, who *See Treat. 2. Part. 1. §. 27.prefer ſingle life before it, eſpecially if the maried eſtate be ordered by Gods word, and man and wife carefull to performe their owne duty each to other.
To apply this point alſo, and to bring it to the concluſion: Chriſts example remoueth all pretences which men make for not louing their wiues.If Chriſt who can receiue nothing from the Church notwithſtanding louelove her, ought not men much more to louelove their wiues, who many waies receiue much good from them, and without whom they cannot well be?
This example of Chriſt is the rather to be noted, becauſe it cleane wipeth away all thoſe falſe colours, and vaine pretences which many alledge as reaſons, to ſhew that there is little reaſon they ſhould louelove their wiues: ſome of their pretences are theſe.
1. Their wiues are of a farre meaner ranke then 1. Obiect.themſelues; ſhould they then performe duty to their inferiours? They commonly who marrie their kitchin maids, or others farre vnderunder their degree, alledge this pretence.
Anſw. I might reply, That mariage aduanceth a wife to the degree of her husband: and that it was his owne follie to marrie one ſo meane: but for the purpoſe and point in hand, let any tell me, whether the ſuppoſed diſparitie betwixt them & their wiues, be in any degree comparable to that which is betwixt Chriſt and the Church: yet Chriſt thinketh not much to doe duties of louelove to his Church.
2. There is nothing in their wiues worthy to be loued.2. Obiect.
Anſw. This very thing, that ſuch an one is thy wife, is matter enough to make her worthy of louelove. But what was there in the Church to make her worthy of Chriſts louelove? If it be ſaid that ſhe is endued with many excellent graces, which make her amiable in Chriſts ſight: I anſwer, that of her ſelfe ſhe hath none of thoſe graces, Chriſt hath beſtowed them vponupon her, and ſo made her …miable: and thus oughteſt thou to endeuour by vſing all good meanes thou canſt to make thy wife anſwerable to thy louelove: but howſoeuer, to louelove her.
3. Their wiues giuegive iuſt occaſion to be hated by reaſon of their 3. Obiect.beeuiſhneſſe, ſtoutneſſe, inſolencie, and other like intolerable …ices.
Anſw. No occaſion may ſeeme iuſt to moue an husband to hate his wife: nor any vice ſeeme to him intolerable: with goodnes he …ught to ouercome euill. If notorious ſins ſeemed intolerable to Chriſt, or that he thought any occaſion iuſt to cauſe hatred, many …hat are of his Church would oft draw his hatred vponupon them: but Chriſt hateth neuer a member of his Church.
4. There is no hope that euer I ſhall receiue any helpe of my 4. Obiect.wife, or benefit from her.
Anſ. There is little charitie in ſuch as can conceiue no hope: for …ue hopeth all things: but yet the caſe ſo ſtandeth with Chriſt. The 1. Cor. 13. 7.Church is ſo vtterly vnable to help or benefit him, as he may iuſtly …y, he cannot hope to receiue any thing frō her. Chriſt loueth the …hurch for her own good, not for his; ſo ought husbands. Thus if Chriſts example be well weighed, & obſerued of husbands, it will …ford matter enough to remoue eueryevery doubt or ſcruple raiſed to …enate their affections from their wiues. Fitly therefore hath the Apoſtle ſet it before husbands, both to direct them how to louelove their wiues, and alſo to moue them ſo to doe.
§. 76. Of a mans louelove to himſelfe, a motiue to prouoke him to louelove his wife.
To the ſame purpoſe that Chriſts example tendeth, tendeth alſo the patterne of a mans ſelfe. Great is the affection that a man beareth to himſelfe, to his owne fleſh, his owne bodie: he neuer hateth, but euer loueth himſelfe: no ſore, no diſeaſe, no paine, no ſtinch that the fleſh bringeth to a man, can make him hate it: but rather all manner of infirmities doe make him the more to pitty, tender, and cheriſh it. This is a worke of nature: the moſt heatheniſh, and barbarous, that euer were, doe it. Now a wife being to a man as his bodie and his fleſh (for they two are one fleſh) and God hauing commanded men to louelove their wiues as their owne bodies, theſe concluſions will neceſſarily follow from this motiue:
1. He that loueth not his wife is more caried with the inſtinct of nature, then with the expreſſe charge of the God of nature. Natures inſtinct moueth him to louelove his bodie. But Gods expreſſe charge moueth him not, to louelove his wife.
2. He that loueth not his wife is worſe then an infidell and a barbarian, yea then a very beaſt: for all theſe louelove their owne bodies, and their owne fleſh: but a wife (by Gods ordinance) is as ones bodie, and his fleſh.
3. He that loueth his wife loueth himſelfe: the Apoſtle himſelfe verſ. 28.in theſe very words layeth downe this concluſion: from whence by the rule of contraries this alſo will follow, He that loueth not his wife, loueth not himſelfe.
4. He that loueth not his wife cannot but bring woe and miſchiefe vponupon himſelfe. For the damage and miſchiefe which followeth on a wife, through any neglect of dutie on her husband part, followeth alſo on him: as the miſchiefe which followeth on the bodie through any negligence of the head, lighteth alſo on the head.
If theſe be not motiues ſufficient to prouoke an husband to louelove his wife, I know not what can be ſufficient.