Of Domestical Duties, Treatise 6 · Section 13 – Section 21
§. 13. Of the obiections for putting children forth to nurſe.
Obiect. Many nurſes are mentioned in Scripture, as Rebekahs Gen. 24. 59. 2 Sam. 4. 4. 2 King. 11. 2.nurſe, Mephiboſheths nurſe, Ioaſh his nurſe, and others.
1. Anſw. Such nurſes mentioned in Scripture were commonly drie nurſes. Rebekahs nurſe went with her before ſhe was maried: how can it be thought that ſhe was a milch nurſe? Could they tell when Rebekah ſhould hauehave a childe? or when Gen. 35. 8.he had one, that Deborah (the nurſe there mentioned) ſhould hauehave milke for her? It is ſaid that Naomi became nurſe to Ruths Ruth 4. 16. & 1. 12.…hilde: now Naomi was old, long before this ſhe was paſt …hild-bearing, without an husband for many yeeres: how then was it poſſible that ſhe ſhould giuegive ſucke? She was therefore a …rie nurſe, as other nurſes mentioned in Scripture.
2. Anſw. The mothers of thoſe children which are ſaid to …aue nurſes (if thoſe nurſes were milch-nurſes) might be …ead: or if liuing, not able to giuegive ſucke for want of milke, …ipple, or for ſome other like defect: or if able, ſinne in putting forth their children.
3. Anſw. Though it be ſaid that there were nurſes, yet is no where ſaid, that a mother put forth her childe to ſucke.
2. Obiect. Pharohs daughter put forth the childe which ſhe Exod. 2. 7.…oke for her owne to nurſe.
Anſw. She bare not this childe, nor was the naturall mother of it, ſo as this is nothing to the purpoſe. Yea it maketh againſt the obiectors, in that the true mother of this childe nurſed it.
3. Obiect. The metaphor taken from nurſes is oft vſed, Num. 11. 12. 1 Theſ. 2. 7.and applied to God, and to Gods miniſters.
1. Anſw. The vſing of a thing by way of compariſon and reſemblance doth not ſimply iuſtifie it: inſtance the parable of the vniuſt ſteward, and of a theefe.Luke 16. 1. &c. Reu. 15. 16.
2. Anſw. The metaphor may be taken from a drie nurſe as well as a milch nurſe: for the compariſons are not vſed of giuing ſucke, but of bearing and carrying in armes, as drie nurſes vſe to carry children.
3. Anſw. The metaphors are moſt fitly taken from mothers that are nurſes to their owne children.
4. Obiect. Many mothers hauehave not ſuch skill in giuing ſucke as nurſes hauehave.
Anſw. Let them learne ſeeing it is their dutie.
5. Obiect. Mothers that are of great wealth and high place cannot endure the paine of nurſing, nor take the paines in handling young children as they muſt be handled.
1. Anſw. The greateſt that be muſt ſet themſelues to doe that duty which God requireth at their hands, though it be with paine and paines. Note Sarahs example before recorded.
2. Anſw. By this it appeareth, that if other women could beare their children in the wombe nine moneths, and endure the paine of trauell for them, they would hire them to doe it. But ſeeing they doe the one (namely beare and bring forth their owne children with hard labour) why ſhould they not doe the other? If they ſay there is an vnauoidable neceſſity of bearing and bringing forth their children; I anſwer, that conſcience ought to moue them to nurſe thoſe children, which neceſſity forceth them to bring forth. God by this latter o… nurſing children maketh triall of women whether they will for conſcience ſake, doe that duty which they may if they will put off. But becauſe God knew that many will doe no more then neceſſity laieth vponupon them, he hath made it a matter o… impoſſibility for women to beare and bring forth their children by another.
3. Anſw. If women would with cheerefulneſſe ſet themſelues to performe this duty, much of the ſuppoſed paine and paines would be leſſened.
4. Anſw. Though they put not forth their children to nurſe, they may for their eaſe entertaine a nurſe, ſo they giuegive ſucke themſelues.
6. Obiect. A mother that hath a trade, or that hath the care of an houſe, will neglect much buſineſſe by nurſing her childe: and her husband will ſaue more by giuing halfe a crowne a weeke to a nurſe, then if his wife gaue the childe ſucke.
Anſw. No outward buſineſſe appertaining to a mother can be more acceptable to God then the nurſing of her childe: this is the moſt proper worke of her ſpeciall calling, therefore all other buſineſſes muſt giuegive place to this, and this muſt not be left for any other buſineſſe.
As for the husbands ſauing by putting the childe forth to nurſe, no gaine may giuegive a diſpenſation againſt a bounden duty.
7. Obiect. It will breake tender faire women, and make them looke old too ſoone.
1. Anſw. Gods ordinance muſt not giuegive place to womens …iceneſſe. Sarah was faire and old: The Virgin Mary was faire and young.
2. Anſw. Drying vp a womans milke will more breake her, then her childes ſucking of it: for it is a meanes both of better health, and alſo of greater ſtrength, as to beare children, ſo to giuegive them ſucke. Barren women and bearing women which put forth their children to ſucke, are moſt ſubiect to ſickneſſe and weakneſſe. The drawing forth of a womans milke by her childe is a meanes to get and preſerue a good ſtomach, which is a great preſeruatiue of good health.
8. Obiect. Husbands are diſturbed in the night time, and hindred of their ſleepe by their wiues giuing ſucke to their children.
1. Anſw. By this reaſon neither mothers nor other nurſes which hauehave husbands, ſhould giuegive ſucke to children.
2. Anſw. Seeing children come from the loines of the father, as well as out of the wombe of the mother, they muſt be content to endure ſome diſturbance as well as their wiues, and ſo much the rather that they may the more pitty their wiues, and afford vntounto them what helpe they can.
9. Obiect. Many husbands will not ſuffer their wiues to nurſe their children themſelues.
Anſw. Becauſe it is a bounden duty, wiues muſt vſe all the meanes they can by themſelues or others to perſwade their husbands to let them performe it: they muſt take heede that they make not this a pretext to couer their owne ſloth, and lothneſſe to this duty: they may not make themſelues acceſſarie to their husbands fault by prouiding a nurſe, and ſending the childe away themſelues: if their husbands will ſtand vponupon their authority, and be perſwaded by no meanes to the contrary, they muſt be meere patients in ſuffering the childe to be taken away.
10. Obiect. Many poore women maintaine their houſe by nurſing other folkes children.
Anſw. If they were not that way imployed, they might take paines in ſome other thing. But the gaine of one may not make another neglect her duty.
11. Obiect. Some mothers cannot giuegive ſucke, they hauehave no milke: others cannot very well, in that they hauehave no nipples, or they hauehave ſore breaſts, or are ſickly, or it may be that they hauehave ſuch a diſeaſe, as the childe, if it ſhould ſucke of their milke, would draw to it ſelfe, and ſo the ſucking might proue very dangerous to the childe.
1. Anſw. God requireth no impoſſibilities: wherefore in propounding the duty I put in this caution (ſo far as they are able.)
2. God requireth merciemercy, and not ſacrifice: if therefore in Hoſ. 6. 6. Matt. 9. 13.truth it be ſo that the mothers giuing ſucke to the childe will be dangerous to her ſelfe or to the childe, ſhe may and ought to forbeare: for giuing ſucke is but as ſacrifice to preuenting of danger, which is merciemercy. But women muſt take heed that they pretend not inability, and danger without iuſt cauſe. Some are themſelues the cauſe of wanting milke becauſe they will not let it be drawne downe; or becauſe they will not vſe meanes (for meanes there are) to get and increaſe milke. There are meanes alſo to raiſe nipples where the breaſts are very flat. Refuſing to giuegive ſucke many times cauſeth ſome ſickiſhneſſe in a woman, and ſore breaſts, which might be preuented with the childes ſucking. If the foreneſſe be only in the nipples, a mother with enduring a little more paine may ſafely giuegive the childe ſucke. Many mothers hauehave giuen their children ſucke when bloud hath runne by the mouth of the childe by reaſon of ſore nipples, and yet both mother and childe done very well.
12. Obiect. Diuers children being nurſed by the mother hauehave died one after another.
Anſw. Due and thorow ſearch muſt be made by thoſe that are skilfull: and if any cauſe be found in the mother, then the rule holdeth, Mercy and not ſacrifice: but if none can be found, the iſſue muſt be referred to Gods prouidence: and the vncertaine euen muſt not be an hinderance to a knowne dutie.
Thus the anſwering of the forenamed obiections maketh the point ſo much the more cleere.
§. 14. Of the fathers dutie in incouraging his wife to nurſe her childe.
The dutie which on a fathers part in this reſpect is required, is that he incourage his wife, and helpe her with all needfull things for the performance of this dutie. It is noted of Elka…ah, that he ſuffered his wife to tarry at home while ſhe gaue ſucke to her ſonne, and would not force her to goe vp to the tabernacle as his other wife did, but gaue her all the eaſe and content he could, ſaying to her, Doe what ſeemeth thee good. 1 Sam. 1. 23.And of Abraham it is noted, that after Sarah had done giuing the childe ſucke, he made a great feaſt, euen the day that Gen. 21. 8.Iſaak was weined: one end whereof was to teſtifie his reioycing for Gods bleſſing on her motherly dutie ſo well performed.
§. 15. Of the faults contrarie to a mothers nurſing her childe.
Contrary to this dutie doe all ſuch mothers offend, as for any by-reſpects when no neceſſity requireth put forth their children to be nurſed by others.
1. Some doe it for eaſe and quiet, becauſe they cannot endure to hauehave their ſleepe broken, or to heare their childe wrangle and crie.
2. Others doe it for niceneſſe, becauſe they are loth to open their breaſts, or to ſoile their cloathes.
3. Others vponupon pride, conceiting that their beauty would be impaired, and they looke old too ſoone.
4. Others vponupon gaine, becauſe they can hauehave a childe cheaper nurſed abroad then at home, where, at leaſt, they muſt hire a maid the more.
5. Others vponupon pleaſure, that they might more freely ride abroad, and meet their Goſſips.
6. Others vponupon other by-reſpects: all which doe argue much ſelfe-louelove: little louelove to their childe, and little reſpect to God. They can be counted but halfe-mothers: for nurſing a childe is as much as bearing and bringing it forth.
§. 16. Of a fathers fault in hindring his wiues nurſing of her child.
To the forenamed fault of mothers doe all ſuch fathers make themſelues acceſſary, as forbid their wiues to nurſe their children, or are a griefe to them by their complaints of trouble, diſquiet and expence: or afford not things needfull, or doe not incourage them all they can to doe it. The mothers both paine and paines is the greateſt: it is in compariſon but a ſmall thing that fathers can endure therein. Their fault therefore muſt needs be the greater, if any way they be an occaſion of their childes putting forth to nurſe: which I hauehave the rather noted, becauſe husbands for the moſt part are the cauſe that their wiues nurſe not their owne children: and that partly by ſuffering, and partly by egging them on to put out their children. If husbands were willing that their wiues ſhould performe this dutie, and would perſwade and incourage them thereto, and afford them what helpes they could, where one mother now nurſeth her childe, twenty would doe it.
§. 17. Of parents ioynt care about their childrens Baptiſme.
There is a further dutie to be performed of parents to their children euen in their infancy, and that is in regard of their ſpirituall good, which is this,
Parents ought to procure that their children be rightly baptized in due ſeaſon.
This is indeed a common dutie appertaining to both parents, but moſt principally to the father, and that for two reaſons.
1. The father is the chiefe and principall Gouernour, and hath the greateſt charge: accordingly he ought to hauehave the greateſt care euen in ſuch matters as are common to both.
2. The mother at that time by reaſon of her trauell and deliuery is weake, and not in caſe to hauehave her head much troubled with many cares; much leſſe able her ſelfe to take order for ſuch weighty matters. Only the husband is to make knowne to his wife (if ſhe be not extraordinarily weake) what his purpoſe is concerning the place, time, manner, and other like circumſtances of baptizing the childe, and to aduiſe with her about the name, witneſſes, and ſuch like points. And if the husband be too backward and negligent, the wife ought ſo farre as ſhe is able to put him in minde of his dutie therein, and to ſtirre him vp by her ſelfe or ſome other to performe it.
§. 18. Of the reaſons to moue parents to ſee their children baptized.
That parents are bound to procure Baptiſme for their children theſe reaſons declare.
1. The commandement of God concerning circumciſing Veraciter conijcere poſſumus quid valeat in parvulis baptiſmi ſacramentum ex circumciſione, &c. Aug. de Bap. l. 5. c. 24. Gen. 21. 4. Luk. 1. 59. & 2. 21. Ioſ. 5. 5.…hildren: in the roome whereof Baptiſme ſucceedeth now …nder the Goſpell (Col. 2. 11, 12.) Gods commandement to …his dutie was firſt giuen to Abraham: and that for himſelfe …nd all his poſterity to obſerue (Gen. 17. 10.) After this it was …n the law laid downe as a poſitiue ſtatute, Leu. 12. 3.
2. The practiſe of the Iewes in a faithfull and conſtant ob…ruance of this ordinance: as of Abraham; of Zachary and …lizabeth: of Ioſeph and Mary, and many others.
Obiect. The children which were borne in the wilderneſſe were not circumciſed.
Anſw. They had no abiding place in the wilderneſſe, but were euer and anon remouing: ſo as it would hauehave beene dangerous for the children to hauehave beene circumciſed: in that extraordinary caſe this rule tooke place, I will hauehave mercy and Mat. 12. 7.not ſacrifice.
3. The practiſe of Chriſtians, who beleeuing were themſelues Act. 16. 15, 33.and their whole houſhold baptized. VnderUnder whole houſhold children muſt needs be compriſed.
4. Chriſts embracing and bleſſing ſuch children as were Mat. 19. 13.brought to him: and rebuking thoſe that would hauehave kept them from him.
5. The promiſe of God made to them: for ſeeing God is ſo Gen. 17. 7. Act. 2. 39.gratious as to extend his promiſe to our children: our care muſt be to procure the ſeale which God offereth for the confirmation of that promiſe.
6. The right they hauehave to Gods Kingdome. Baptiſme is an Mat. 19. 14.euidence of that their right. It is parents duty to get them that euidence. If children hauehave iuſt title to any lands and reuenues, or to any earthly honours and dignities, parents will doe what they can to make that title ſure vntounto them euen in their infancy: much more carefull ſhould they be to make that rich and glorious inheritance, which is in heauen reſerued for them, as ſure vntounto them as they can: now no better meanes for the effecting of this then Baptiſme.
7. Their conception and birth in ſinne. Children drew contagion Pſal. 51. 5.from their parents: therefore great reaſon it is that their parents ſhould ſee them waſhed with the water of regeneration.
8. The comfort which from the performance of this dutie will ariſe to Chriſtian parents, yea and to the children alſo themſelues when they come to the age of vnderſtanding. When parents behold the couenant of God ſurely ſealed and confirmed to their children, they cannot (if at leaſt they beare any louelove to their children) but much reioyce therein. And it muſt needs alſo much comfort the childe when (being of vnderſtanding) he ſhall know that from his infancy he hath caried the ſeale and pledge of his regeneration.
9. The conſtant continued cuſtome of the true catholicke Conſuetude matris Eccleſiae inChurch, which euer ſince the Apoſtles time hath afforded the baptizandis paruulis nequaquam ſpernenda eſt. Aug. de Gen. l. 10. c. 23.ſacrament of baptiſme to children.
§. 19. Of Parents procuring their children to be rightly baptized.
There being ſuch forceable motiues to ſtirre vp parents to performe the dutie, (which motiues ſhew it to be a weightie dutie) I will further ſhew how this dutie ought to be performed.
Two things in childrens baptiſme ought to be obſerued.
1. That it be rightly done.
2. That it be ſeaſonably done.
In the right performance thereof, ſome things are neceſſarie, and ſome expedient.
Things of neceſſitie are theſe eſpecially:
1. That the childe be baptized by a Miniſter of the word.Matth. 28. 19. Ioh. 3. 5.
2. That it be baptized with the element of water: the only element ſanctified to this purpoſe.
3. That the forme preſcribed by Chriſt (Matth. 28. 19.) be In Patrem, & in Filium, & in Spiritū Sanctū baptizamur, vt Trinitatis vnū appareat ſacramentum: ſed in vno nomine quod intelligitur Deu…. Hier. in Eph. 4.vſed, In the name of the Father, and of the Sonne, and of the Holy Ghost: whereby the vnitie of the Godhead, and trinitie of Perſons is plainly ſet forth.
4. That the proper rite be vſed of applying the water to the bodie of the childe, ſo as at leaſt the face of the childe may be ſprinkled therewith.
Things of expediencie are,
1. That the childe be baptized in a publike place, where Gods people ordinarily meet together, being ſet apart for the worſhip and ſeruice of God.
2. That ſuch a time be choſen out, as an aſſembly of Saints may be there preſent.
Theſe two circumſtances are the rather to be obſerued, becauſe Baptiſme is one of the ſolemne parts of Gods publike worſhip; a pledge of our incorporation into the bodie of Chriſt, and communion of his Saints, and therefore with the more ſolemnitie, (as a matter of great moment) before many witneſſes, with the aſſiſtance of the faithfull prayers of an aſſembly of Saints, to be performed.
§. 20. Of Parents care to giuegive a fit name to their childe at his Baptiſme.
A third matter of great expediencie about a childs baptiſme, is, that Parents be carefull in giuing a fit name.
It belongeth to Parents to giuegive the name to their childe: for ſo Parents muſt giuegive the childs name.holy parents (whoſe patterne in Scripture is in this reſpect commended vntounto vsus) hauehave done from time to time: and for their warrant to doe it, it is worthy to be noted, that when God was pleaſed to appoint a name to a childe, he gaue in charge to the Parent ſo to name him, ſaying to him, aGen. 17. 19. Matth. 1. 21. Luk. 1. 13.Thou ſhalt call his name thus and thus.
It is alſo euident, that the time of Baptiſme is the fitteſt time for giuing the name. cLuk. 1. 59. & 2. 21.VnderUnder the Law, childrens names were giuen at their Circumciſion: and ſo vnderunder the Goſpell it hath in all ages beene vſed: and that for theſe reaſons.
1. That their names may be a teſtimonie of their baptiſme.Why the name is giuen at baptiſme.
2. That ſo oft as they heare their names, they may be put in minde of their baptiſme.
3. That they might know how by name they are giuen to Chriſt to be his ſouldiers, and therefore there muſt be no ſtarting from him.
4. That they may alſo be aſſured, that being baptized with water and the ſpirit, by name they are regiſtred in heauen.
Now becauſe names are ſo ſolemnly giuen, and of ſo good vſe, Fit names to be giuen.moſt meet it is that fit names ſhould be giuen to children. And for proofe hereof, let the names which in Scripture are recorded to be giuen by God himſelfe, and by ſuch holy men and women as were guided by his ſpirit, be obſerued; and we ſhall finde them to be holy, ſober, and fit names.
For direction to parents in this dutie, I will ſet downe ſome ſorts and kinds of names as be fit, and beſeeming Chriſtians.
1. Names which hauehave ſome good ſignification: and among them ſuch as are warranted by the Scripture, as Iohn (the grace of God) Ionathan (the gift of God) Andrew (manly) Clement (meeke) Simeon (obedient) Hannah (gratious) Prudens (wiſe) and ſuch like: that thus their name may ſtirre them vp to labour after the vertue ſignified thereby.
2. Names which hauehave in times before vsus beene giuen to perſons of good note, whoſe life is worthy our imitation, as Iſaak, Dauid, Peter, Marie, Elizabeth, and ſuch like: that the names may moue them to imitate thoſe worthies.
3. Names of our owne anceſtors and predeceſſors, to preſerue a memorie of the familie: which appeareth to hauehave beene an ancient practiſe euen among Gods people, in that the friends would hauehave had Zachariahs ſonne named Zachariah; and when the Luk. 1. 59, &c.mother had iuſt cauſe to name him Iohn, they anſwer, none of thy kindred is called by this name.
4. Vſuall names of the country, which cuſtome hath made familiar, as Henry, Edward, Robert, William, and ſuch like among vsus.
§. 21. Of Parents care in bringing their children to be baptized in due ſeaſon.
Though Chriſtians are not ſo ſtrictly tied to a ſet day, as the Iewes were to the eight day; yet from that ſtrict direction giuen to the Iewes, we may well gather, that it is not meet for Chriſtians to defer the baptizing of their children beyond eight dayes: for a young childe of that age may with more eaſe, and leſſe danger, be baptized, then circumciſed.
The moſt ſeaſonable time I take to be the day whereon Gods Read the rubrick before the forme of adminiſtring Baptiſme in our Common Prayer booke.people vſe in the place where the childe is borne, publikely to aſſemble together to worſhip God next after the birth of the child, if at leaſt it fall not out within two or three dayes after, which is ſomewhat with the ſooneſt both for mother and childe.
Whether we reſpect the honour of God (the riches of whoſe mercy is liuely ſet forth in the ſacrament of baptiſme) or the good of our childe (which in that ſacrament receiueth a pledge and ſeale of that rich mercy of God) Baptiſme is of great conſequence: and therefore the firſt ſeaſon of performing it to be taken. For parents by their diligence and due ſpeed therein, giuegive euidence both of their zeale to Gods glory, and alſo of their earneſt deſire of the childs ſpirituall good.