A Godly Form of Household Government, Part 2

A Godly Form of Household Government · Part 2

1. The dutie of the Husband towards his Wife.

THis dutie consisteth seuerally in these three points.

First, that he liue with his wife discreetly, according vntounto knowledge.

Secondly, that he be not bitter, fierce, and cruell vntounto her.

Thirdly, that he louelove, cherish, and nourish his wife, euen as his owne body, and as Christ loued the Church, and gaue himselfe for it, to sanctifie it.

But before we shall speake of these three points, we will a little touch the originall and beginning of holy wedlocke; what it is, when, where, how, and of whom it was instituted and ordained.

Wedlocke or Matrimonie, is a lawfull knot, What wedlock is.and vntounto God …: acceptable aaMat. 19. 5. 6Matt 19:5Matt 19:6yoking and ioyning together of bb…. 1. 27. 1. Cor. 16. Ephes. 5. 31. Prou. 5. 18. 19. 20.1 Cor 16Eph 5:31Prov 5:18Prov 5:19Prov 5:20one man and one woman, with the good consent of them both: to the end that they may dwell together in friendship and honesty, one helping and comforting the other, eschuing whoredome, and all vncleannesse, bringing vp their children in the feare of God: or it is a coupling together of two persons into one flesh, according to the ordinance of God; not to be broken, but so to continue during the life of either of them, Gen. 22. Malach. 2. 14. Rom. 7. 31.

By yoking, ioyning, or coupling, is meant, not onelyonly outward dwelling together of the married Yoking and dweiling together what it is.folkes, as to be ordinarily in a dwelling place for the better performance of mutuall duties each to other, Mat. 1. 18. 1. Corin. 7. 10. 12. 13. 1. Pet. 3. 7. Ruth. 4. 11. 12. but also an vniforme agreement of mind, and a common participation of body and goods; for as much as the Lord saith, that they two shall be one flesh: that is, one body. This is to be remembred, that Gen. 2. 24.Gen 2:24Matrimonie, or Wedlocke, must not onelyonly be a coupling together, but also must be such a coupling together as cometh of God, and is not contrary to his word and will. For there be some mariages made whom God coupleth not together, but carnall lust, beauty, riches, goods and landes, flatterie and frienship. In such marriages God is not thought vponupon, and therefore they sinne the more against him. These and such like marriages be disliked and condemned in the Scripture, Gene. 6. 12. &c. Math. 24. 38. 39. God himselfe did appoint and ordaine matrimonie in Paradice; so that he is the author of the same, Gen. 2 20. Yea, and so our Sauiour Christ himselfe (who was the very naturall Sonne of God) being borne in wedlocke, (although of a pure Virgin) did honour & commend matrimony, while he did vouchsafe to shew his first miracle (Ioh. 2. 1.) at a Marriage: whereby he did declare, that the Lord is able to make the bitternesse of mariage sweet, & the scarcity thereof to abound with plenty. And the Apostle giueth this excellent title to Marriage; saying, that it is **Marriage honorable: 1. For the author, which is God. 2. For the time which was during the state of Adams innocency. 3. For the place, which was Paradice.(Honourable among all) Heb 13. 4. that is, among all estates, and all nations. Matrimony then, being an indissoluble bond and knot, whereby the husband and wife are fastened together by the ordinance of God, is eeGen. 24. Mat. 15. 5. Mark 10. 7. 1. Cor. 6. 16. Ephes. 5. 31.Gen 24Matt 15:5Mark 10:71 Cor 6:16Eph 5:31fatte straighter then any other coniunction in the society of mankind. In somuch that it is a lesse offence for a man to forsake father and mother, and to leaue them succourlesse, (who notwithstanding ought, by Gods commandement to be honoured) then it is for him to do the like towards his lawfull maried wife. Wherfore let them looke well what they do, that are ready for light and small causes to separate man and wife: seeing that Christ himselfe saith, Mat. 19. 9. that whosoeuer is separated from his wife, sauing for whordome, and marrieth another, committeth adultery.

This is a thing worthy to be remembred, both on the behalfe of the suter and wooer, as also on her part that is wooed: Namely, that they deale plainely and faithfully one with the other, and not guilefully, & craftily go about to deceiue one the other, in body or in goods. For so doing, they shall neuer vse one the other so louingly and commodiously as they hoped and desired they might, when the one hath fraudulently and deceitfully enticed and beguiled the other, either in body or substance: for naturally we hate him or her, that doth be guile vsus. Neither is there any thing that displeaseth a man or woman more, then to lacke and faile of a thing they both hoped and looked for. And therefore it were conuenient, and also much better, that both parties should disclose the one to the other, the imperfections, infirmities, and wants, in either of their bodies; as also the mediocrity and meannesse of their goods and substance, as in truth it is: yea, though it should be with perill and losse one of the other, rather then the one to obtaine and get the other, with fraude, guile, and discord.

But before we shall come to speake of the causes of marriage, we purpose (God so willing) briefly to shew, how eueryevery one that intendeth to marry, should choose him a meet, fit, and honest mate: for there lieth much weight in the Gen. 1. 18.Gen 1:18wise election and choise of a wife. As he that will plant any thing, doth first consider the nature of the ground in the which he mindeth to plant: euen so much more ought a man to hauehave respect to the condition of the woman, out of whom he desireth to plant children, the fruites of honestie and welfare.

The first thing that is to be remembred of Such as are of kind red in the flesh, may not contract matrimonie.such a one as mindeth to marry, is, that he do not chuse his wife within such degrees of consanguinitie and affinitie, as are by ffLeuit. 18. 6 &c.Lev 18:6Gods Law forbidden.

Secondly, ggDeut. 7. 3. 2. Cor. 6. 14. 15. &c.Deut 7:32 Cor 6:142 Cor 6:15religion and faith must be considered, lest he make diuorce of the true faith, or bring it into perill. For although he thinke himselfe as wise as hh1. King. 11. 4.1 Kgs 11:4Salomon, and as strong as iiIudg. 16. 17. 18.Judg 16:17Judg 16:18Sampson, yet may he be ouercome as they were. Therefore great aduertisement beforehand is to be taken in this behalfe, left afterwards, with much griefe and sorrow of heart he do too late repent.

Now if any that hath matched himselfe with a wife that is an infidell, irreligious, or of a corrupt religion, would put her away for this matter, herein he deceiueth himselse, as the Apostle manifestly proueth. For we must put a difference 1. Cor. 7. 12. 13 1. Pet. 3. 11.1 Cor 7:121 Cor 7:131 Pet 3:11betweene that mariage that is made and done already, & that which is yet to do. Wherefore he that is snared and matched with such a wife as is either froward, waiward, or else is poisoned with superstition and poperie, in such a case must call vponupon God, and liue in his feare, in faithfulnes, in patience, with discretion & godly counsell, labouring to win her from the same. For like as the husband-man doth with great labour and diligence, till that ground which he hath once taken to farme, although it be neuer so full of faults: as if it be dry, if it bring forth weeds, brambles, or briers; or though it cannot beare much wet; yet through good husbandry he winneth fruit thereof. Euen so in like maner, he that hath married a wife that is irreligious or froward, if he shall vse like diligence to instruct and order her minde, if he diligently and courteously apply himselfe to weede away by little and little the noysome weeds out of her mind, both by wholesome and godly precepts, and by Christian conuersation; it can not be but in time he shall feele the pleasant fruite thereof to both their comforts. EueryEvery one therefore that purposeth to marry, ought also to remember that there be three manner of riches in man.

1. The riches of the mind.Three manner of riches in man.

2, The riches of the body.

3. The riches of temporall substance.

The best and the most precious, are the riches of the mind: as without which the other two are more hurtful then profitable.

The riches of the minde, are the feare of God, Riches of the mind.faith, a desire of Gods glory, the knowledge of his will, sobernesse, liberalitie, chastitie, silence, humblenesse, honestie, and such like vertues. These vertues lie not still, neither hide themselues wheresoeuer they be, but will breake out diuers waies, so that they may well be spied and discerned.

As then a traueller hath marked in his way, that he may proceede aright so likewise the man or woman that intendeth to marrie, hauehave also markes in their wayes, by which they may make a right choise.

There be certaine signes of this fitnesse and godlinesse, both in the man and in the woman; so that if the man be desirous to know a godly woman, or the woman would know who is a godly man: then let them obserue and marke these sixe points.

1.—The report.Sixe rules to be obserued in the choise of a good wife or a good husband.

2.—The lookes.

3.—The speech.

4.—The apparell.

5.—The companions.

6.—Lastly, the education and bringing vp, which are like the pulses, that shew whether a man be sicke or whole, well or ill.

11Report.The report, name, or fame, that he or she hath had, and yet hauehave, and what opinion honest folkes hauehave of them; because as the market goeth, so the market-men will talke. A good man Pro. 10. 7. & 22. 1.Prov 10:7Prov 22:1and a good woman, commonly hauehave a good name, because a good name is one of the blessings Preach 7. 3. Psal. 112. 6.Ps 112:6which God promiseth to good men and good women. But a good name is not to be praysed from the wicked; and therefore our Sauiour Christ saith, Woe be to you, when all men speak well of you: Luke 6. 16. that is, when euill men praise and commend you; for that is a plaine argument, that you are ambitious, vaine-glorious, and of the world: For the world liketh and praiseth her owne. Ioh. 15. 19.

Neuerthelesse, it is conuenient that eueryevery Christian should so liue in the world, that although he cannot say as Christ said, Whuh of you can rebuke me of sinne? Ioh. 8. 40. yet so as in truth he may with a good conscience boldly say; Which of you can accuse me oflying, sweating, whoring, dissembling, dishonesty, deceit, couetousnesse, or such like? Though therefore, no man can cleere himselfe in thought before God, of these and other notorious vices, yet eueryevery one before men should auouch it, and approue it in their doing; and liue so vprightly, holily, iustly, and vnblameably, that none could iusily charge them with any open sinne. Luke 1. 6. 15. Iob. 1. 1. 1. Thessal. 2. 10. and 3. 13. Tit. 2. 12. 1. Pet. 1. 15.

22The looks. Prou. 17. 4.Prov 17:4The next signe is, The looke; For as Salomon saith; The wisedome of a man doth make his face to shine, Eccles. 8. 1. that is, procureth him fauour and good liking.

So also, godlinesse is in the face of a man, or of a woman; and so likewise, follie and wickednesse may many times be seene and discerned by the face of a man or a woman. And therefore it is said in Esay, The triall of their countenance Esay.testifieth against them: as though their looks could speake. And therefore we reade of proud lookes, and angrie lookes, and wanton lookes, Psal.because they bewray pride, and anger, and wantonnesse.Ieb. 13. 7.

It is truly said, that a modest man dwells at the signe of a modest countenance, and an honest woman dwelleth at the signe of an honest face: which may fitly be compared to the gate of the Temple, that was called Beautifull: Act. 3. 2.Acts 3:2shewing, that if the entrie be so beautifull, within is great beautie.

To shew how a modest countenance, and womanly shamefastnesse do commend a chast wife, it is obserued, that the word Nuptiae, doth declare the manner of her marriage: for it importeth VnderUnder faire faces are sometimes hidden filthy minds.a couering; because virgines which should be married, when they came to their husbands, for modestie and shamefastnesse did couer their faces: as we reade of Rebecca, who when the saw Isaac, and knew that he should Gen. 24. 65.Gen 24:65be her husband, cast a vayle before her face: shewing that modesty should be learned before marriage, which is the dowrie that God addeth to her portion.

33The talke.The third signe is her talke or speech, or rather her silence. For a man or a womans talking, is the mirrour and messenger of the mind, in the which it may commonly be seene without, in what case the man or woman is within, according to the common prouerb: Such as the man or woman is, such is their talke.

Now silence is the best ornament of a woman To Adam first and to … after.and therefore the law was giuen to the man rather then to the woman, to shew that he should be the teacher, and she the hearer; and therefore she is commanded to learne of her husband. 1. Cor. 14. 34. 35.

Maides must speake like an Eccho.As the Eccho answereth but one word for many, which are spoken to her; so a Maids answer shoud be in a word: for she which is full of talke, is not likely to prooue a quiet wife.

The eye and the speech, are as the glasses of the mind: For out of the abundance of the heart Mat. 12. 34.Matt 12:34(saith our Sauiour) the mouth speaketh. As though by the speech we might know what aboundeth in the heart: and therefore he saith, By thy mordes thoushalt be instified, and by thy words thou Mat. 12. 37.Matt 12:37shalt be condemned. That is, thou shalt be iustified to be wife, or thou shalt be condemned to be foolish; thou shalt be iustified to be sober, or thou shalt be condemned to be rash; thou shalt be iustified to be humble, or thou shalt be condemned to be proud; thou shalt be iustified to be louing, or thou shalt be condemned to be enuious. Therefore Salomon saith, A fooles lips are a snare to his owne soule. Snares are made Prou. 18. 7.Prov 18:7for other, but this snare catcheth a mans selfe, because it bewrayeth a mans follie, and causeth his trouble, and bringeth him into discredit. Contrariwise, The heart of the wise (saith Salomon) guideth his mouth wisely, and the words of his Prou. 16. 23.Prov 16:23mouth hauehave grace.

Now to shew that this should be one marke in the choise of a wife; Saloman describing a right wife. saith: She openeth her mouth with wisedome: and the law of grace is in her tongue: Prou. 31. 26.Prov 31:26for that she delighteth to talke of the word of God. A wife that can speake this language, is better then she which hath all the tongues. But as the open vessels are counted vncleane, so also account that the open mouth hath much vncleannesse.

44Apparell. Luk. 16. 19.Luke 16:19The fourth signe is, the apparell; for as the pride of the … is noted, in that he went in purple eueryevery day: so also the humilitie of Iohn is noted, in that he went in haire-cloth Mark. 1. 6.Mark 1:6eueryevery day. For doubtlesse by a man or a womans apparell, excessiue laughter, and going, they may partly be discerned of what disposition they are. It is conuenient that he that will be a suter to a woman, marke what apparell she customably vseth to weare; whether it be vaine, whorish, wanton, light; or comely, modest, and mannetly, and beseeming her estate and condition: to wit, honest and sober rayment. For apparell doth often giuegive a certaine and sure testimonie of pride, lightnesse, wantonnesse, inconstancie, vnshamefastnesse, filthinesse, or vncleaunesse, and other vices, or vertues, that be either in the man or woman. For a modest man or woman, are for the most part knowne by their sober attire: as the Prophet Eliah was knowne by his rough garment. So that we are to looke 2. King. 18.2 Kgs 18for no better within, then we see without; for eueryevery one seemeth better then they be. If then the face be vanitie, the heart is pride. He that biddeth vsus abstaine from the shew of euill, would hauehave vsus to abstaine from those meanes, Husbands 1. Thess. 5. 22.1 Thess 5:22or wiues, who hauehave the shewes of euill: for it is hard to come in the fashion, and not to be in the abuse. And therefore the Apostle saith: Fashion not your selues like vntounto the world; as though the fashions of men did declare of what …. 12. 2.side they are.

55Company.The fift signe is the companie, by meanes whereof much may be perceiued. For as whole and found eyes, with beholding and looking on sore eyes, be annoyed and hurt: euen so, good and honest folkes be oftentimes stayned Men are commonly conditioned, euen like vntounto them that they keepe cōpany withall.and hurt with the company of the wicked and vngodly; according to the common prouerbe: Such like is eueryevery one, as the companie is with whom they keepe. For birds of a feather will hold together: and fellowes in sinne, will be fellowes in league; euen as young Rehoboam Prou. 1. 11. & 13. 20. Psal …. Ios. 23. 12. Num 16. 20. 1. Cor. 6. 14. Ephes. 5. 7.Prov 1:11Prov 13:20Josh 23:12Num 16:201 Cor 6:14Eph 5:7chose yong companions, 1. King. 12. 8. The tame beast will not keepe with the wilde, not the cleane dwell with the leaprous. If a man can be knowne by nothing else, then he may be known by his companions: for like will to like, as Salomon saith; theeues call one another.

Therefore when Dauid left iniquitie, he said: Away from me all ye that worke iniquitie; shewing, that a man neuer abandoneth euill, vntill he abandon euill company: for no good is concluded in this parliament. Therefore chuse such a companion of thy life, as hath chosen companie like thee before. For they which chuse such as loued prophane cōpanions before, in a short time are drawne to be prophane too.

66The bringing vp. It skilleth more by whō and by what wayes men be brought vp, then of whom they be begotten.The last signe is education, which giueth also great testimonie, namely by whom, and how eueryevery one is brought vp, whether the man or the woman were conuersant among vertuous or vicious persons, and whether the parties hauing cōtinued in the nurture of the vertuous, and shewed themselues obedient to them vnderunder whom they were brought vp, or whether either of the parties hauehave broken out of this discipline, and followed his, or her owne wilfulnesse. For it is a small matter for either of them to hauehave dwelt among, or with vertuous and religious folke: but herein lyeth the force and weight, how farre, and how much, either or both the parties hauehave followed those, and profited vnderunder them, and were dutifull and obedient vntounto them. For Iudas was among, and accompanied with the Apostles, brought vp certaine yeares vnderunder Christ, but for all this he was neuer the better: for he left not his wicked pranks, neither was he obedient. Neuerthelesse good education and discipline formeth good To be good it doth much profit to be well brought vp.manners: men and women commonly sauour most of those good or euill things, which in youth they learned. Therefore to proue good, honest, and vertuous, it importeth and forceth much, from the infancie to be well gouerned, and Christianly brought vp. For we retaine much more of the customes wherewith we be bred, then of the inclinations wherewith we be borne.

All these properties are not spied at three or foure commings and meetings of the parties, for hypocrisie is spunne with a fine threed, and none are so often deceiued as louers. He therefore which will know all his wiues qualities: or she that will perceiue her husbands dispositions, and inclinations, before either be married to the other, had need to see one the other eating, and walking, working, and playing, talking and laughing, and chiding too: or else it may be, the one shall hauehave with the other, lesse then he or she looked for, or more then they wished for. Here is to be remembred, a thing adioyned to marriage, and going before it, namely, Betrothing, being a solemne and laudable custome of Gods children, as is prooued Deuteron. 20. 7. & 22. 23. 24. This betrothing, is a couenant What betrothing ….betweene the parties to be married, before fit witnesses appointed thereto: whereby they giuegive their troth, that they will, and shall marrie together, except some lawfull vnmeetnesse and disliking each of other do hinder it in the meane time. The practise of it we see, Mat. 1. 18. Luk. 1. 27. where the Virgine Marie was betrothed to Ioseph, yet they had not met together, to wit, to accompany together according to the end of marriage. This custome, noted and marked in diuers places of the Scripture, hath diuers good grounds to be obserued, which proue that there ought to be a contract before marriage. And for the better vnderstanding of this point of betrothing, it shall not be amisse, in some plaine and short manner, to make knowne the holy doctrine hereof, with the doctrine also of marriage, and marriage duties. First then we must know, that eueryevery marriage that hath bene well and orderly vsed, either of the heathen (which were onelyonly inlightned with the law of nature) or of the people of God, who also were to be directed by his word, was perfected by two solemne actions: that is, by an apparent and open contract, and by publicke marriage, the true and vnfained confirmation thereof. Wherefore we will first speake of a contract (which is also called espousing, affiancing betrothing, or handfasting) then of mariage it selfe. And for betrothing, or espousals, we reade in the writing of ancient Philosophers, Histories, Orators, Poets and others, that they be of great antiquity, of necessary vse, and hauehave bene ordinarily practised. Insomuch as the vsers thereof are highly commended, the neglecters and abusers hereof sharpely rebuked & condemned.

Which seeing they could not do, but vponupon knowledge and iudgement, it doth manifestly declare, that they did it by natures law, written and bred in their breasts. And therefore euen nature it selfe (though in some matters starke blind, and in many of very dimme sight) hath in all ages, bewrayed the lawfulnesse, the necessity, and the vse of espousals, to be the first step and degree to a lawfull and comforrable marriage.

But to omit this law, and to come to the written word, let vsus further consider what allowance thereof we find in the same, and consequently what it is, not onelyonly to marry, but to be betrothed, not according to the direction of nature alone, but in the Lord also. First it is certaine, that the Lord approueth this betrothing as his owne sacred ordinance. For we reade in Exodus 21. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. how carefully he prouideth by sundrie and many straight commandements for the maid-seruant that is betrothed. First, that she shall not go out of her seruice, as the men-seruants do. Secondly, that her maister shall hauehave no power to sell her to a strange people. Thirdly, that being betrothed vntounto his sonne, he shall deale with her as with his owne daughter. Fourthly, if another wife be taken with her, that neither her foode, her rayment, nor recompence of her virginitie, shall any whit at all be diminished. Fiftly, that whensoeuer she goeth out of her seruice, she shall pay no money at all. None whereof the Lord would hauehave done (much lesse all of them) vnlesse espousals had bene his owne ordinance, instituted, ordained and commanded by himselfe to be vsed, euen of the maid seruant, that was bought and sold. Againe, the Lord in Deuteron. Cap. 22. 23. &c. requireth no lesse punishment to be inflicted vponupon them that violate the bonds of espousall, then if they brake wedlocke. For he commandeth, that if any man shall abuse a betrothed virgin in the Citie, both shall be stoned to death, the maide because she cried not, the man because he hath humbled his neighbours wife.

Where by the way is to be remembred, how God calleth the betrothed a Wife. If then such wickednesse by iustice deserueth death, and if betrothed persons be truely to be termed man and wife, onelyonly in regard of the precedent espousals, we may then plainely see, how highly the Lord doth esteeme and honour them: the breach whereof he punisheth with the punishment of adultery: and the persons betrothed, he honoureth with the names of man and wife. If indeed he had not ordained and allowed them, but that they had bene of humane institution alone, he would not hauehave honoured them with such titles, or hauehave imposed death by stones, for the breach of mans ordinance. Againe, if a man abuse a betrothed maid in the field, he saith that the man shall die, but vntounto the maid thou shalt do nothing, because there is in the maide no cause of death.

Now imposing death vponupon this man, and not vponupon him that abuseth a maid not betrothed, the Lord doth hereby euidently teach, that espousals are a degree beyond a single estate, & of the nature of marriage: and therefore the vnlawfull breach thereof deserueth death. For what else should the Lord grace them with such large priuiledges, and punish the breach therof with seuere punishment?

Further, the faithfull in all ages instructed by these and such commandements, approued and practised these espousals, not only by themselues, but also by their children. Sampson, liking Iudg. 14. 1. &cJudg 14:1and louing a woman of the Philistims in Timnah, desired his father and mother to giuegive her vntounto him to wife, and so they did: at which time Sampson made a feast, according to the custome of the yong men. Albeit her father afterwards would not suffer him to marrie her, but gaue her to another; for which iniury Sampson reuenged himselfe of the Philistims, by burning vp their shocks and standing corne, vineyards, and oliues: for which the Philistims burnt both the father and the daughter. So Dauid begged Micholl of her father Saul, who gaue her vntounto him to wife, with condition, that he 1. Sam. 18. 25. 26 27. 2 Sam. 3. 24. 25.1 Sam 18:251 Sam 18:262 Sam 3:242 Sam 3:25should bring him a hundred fore-skinnes of the Philistims, and therefore when Saul was dead, he required her of Ishbosheth Sauls sonne, who … her vntounto him. Also Ioseph and Marie the mother of Christ were betrothed, which God would neuer hauehave permitted, if it had not bene of his owne ordinance, and agreeable to his owne will, of if it might any manner of way hauehave stained, … her Iosephs honesty, or Maries virginity: nay, if it had not much more graced and adorned both, then the want of espousals could hauehave done.

And to auoyd rediousnesse in so plaine a truth, seeing the Scripture giueth power and authoritie to parents, to giuegive, and not to giuegive their children in marriage; saying, Let him do what he will. Againe: He that giueth her in mariage doth well, and he that giueth her not to marriage doth better, (whereof we shall speake more at 1 Cor. 7. 36. 37 38.1 Cor 7:361 Cor 7:37large anone:) there must needs be before the publicke act of marriage, some speciall time appointed, wherein both parents and parties may testifie and signifie their mutuall liking and consents, vnlesse they despise to marrie in the Lord.

Wherefore, if the law of Nature, the Law of God, the practise of the heathen, the custome of the faithfull, especially of the parents of Christ: if the punishmēt of the espowsall-breakers, and the rewards and priuiledges of the espowsed: and finally, if the fatherly authoritie ouer children, do approue and require the continuall vse of this ordinance of God, it must needs be confessed to be both lawfull and necessary: yea, being the first principall part of marriage it selfe, it must needs be honourable in his kind, as well as marriage it selfe is. Now then, in the next place, let vsus see and learne what a Contract is, to the end, that vponupon sound knowledge and right iudgement, we may alwayes vse it well, and neuer ill, for want of good vnderstanding.

A Contract is a voluntarie promise of Marriage, mutually made betweene one man and one woman, both being meete and free to marrie one another, and therefore allowed so to do by their parents.

This short sentence, sheweth the whole nature, quality, property, vse and abuse, with all other things that are to be obserued or eschued in a right Contract, as shall appeare by the vnfolding of eueryevery word contained therein; for, as there is none vaine and idle, voyde of his proper signification; so eueryevery one hath his proper weight, seruing for speciall and necessary vse.

1. First, we call a Contract, a promise; and so it is indeed; for what is a promise, but a speech, which affirmeth or denyeth, to do this or that, with purpose and words of testimony, to performe and accomplish that which is affirmed, or not to do that which is denyed? And what other thing is indeed a marriage Contract, but this? so that it must be in nature, a true and right promise: not the vow of a promise in time to come, but a present promise indeed. For if one partie do say, I will promise to marrie thee; this is no promise indeede, but a promise of a promise, and consequently no Contract, but a promise of a Contract: and therefore tyeth not bindeth neither parties nor parents to keepe the same; for it is not in nature any Contract at all.

Againe, if a Contract be in promise, it is not only a purpose of the heart, nor a dumbe shew or doubtfull signification of promise, but a plaine promise, vttered and pronounced in a right forme of speech: as when one saith, I do promise to marrie thee, or I do espouse, affiance, or betroth my selfe to thee in marriage, or such like: wherein all ambiguity and doubtfulnesse of speech is to be eschued: that as the meaning of the heart is simple and plaine, so like wise the words of the tongue might be simple, plaine, and voyde of all deceit.

2. Secondly, we call a Contract, a promise of marriage; because it is not a promise of eueryevery thing, neither of honour, of inheritance, of riches, or of any other thing else, sauing onelyonly of marriage. Now we meane by marriage, not only the parties married, but also coniugall & marriage duties and offices, that peculiarly belong to this honourable estate, and are necessarily to be performed mutually of both. For this promise touching persons themselues, is of such force and weight, that it tendeth to the alienation of the propertie of bodies; for so it is written: The wife hath not the power of her 1. Cor. 7. 4.1 Cor 7:4owne body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not the power ouer his owne body, but the wife. For, although this is not perfectly done, till the act of marriage be ended, yet this promise is the principall beginner and worker thereof: because they that promise marriage, do necessarily thereby promise, that two shall become one flesh, and that they will alwayes giuegive mutuall beneuolence one to another.

Touching the peculiar duties of Husbands and Wiues, which likewise are promised by this Contract, we will here onelyonly recite them, leauing the doctrine thereof to another place and time.

1. The Husband, his duty is, first to louelove his wife as his owne flesh.

2. Then to gouerne her in all duties, that properly concerne the state of marriage, in knowledge, in wisedome, iudgement, and iustice.

3. Thirdly, to dwell with her.

4. Fourthly, to vse her in all due beneuolence honestly, soberly, and chastly.1. Pet. 3. 7.1 Pet 3:7

1. The Wife, her dutie is, in all reuerence and humilitie, to submit and subiect her selfe to 1. Cor. 7. 4. 5.1 Cor 7:41 Cor 7:5her Husband, in all such duties as properly belong vntounto marriage.

2. Secondly, therein to be an helpe vntounto him, according to Gods ordinance.

3. Thirdly, to obey his commandements in all things, which he may command by the authoritie of an Husband.

4. Fourthly and lastly, to giuegive him … beneuolence. As for the rest of mutuall duties, as they may be all comprehended vnderunder these, so there shall be a fitter occasion to speake thereof.

Thirdly, we call this promise of marriage voluntary, because it must not come from the lips alone, but from the wel-liking and consent of the heart: sor if it be onelyonly a verball promise, without any will at all, (and so meerely hypocriticall and dissembled) though it bindeth the party that promiseth to the performance of his promise made before God and man: yet if the parents afterwards shall certainely know this, and that there was no will, nor vnfained meaning at all in the party, neither yet is, but rather a loathing and abhorring of his Spouse betrothed, though he be not able to render iust and sufficient cause thereof, they may vponupon this occasion, either deferre the day of marriage the louger, to see if God will happily change the mind of the partie; or vtterly breake and frustrate the promise: if all good meanes and occasions hauing bene vsed, none will preuaile: but that the party rather groweth worse and worse.

For, a Contract being a willing and a voluntary consent, there is no cause why the parents, and such as hauehave authority, and power in sueh cases, when they shall vndoubttedly know that the promise was altogether vnwilling, and therefore made in meere hypocrisie and dissimulation, neither can be by tract of time, or any other good meanes vsed, be bettered, but rather waxeth worse and worse, may not breake and frustrate the same. For why did Rebeccaes parents deny her to Isaack, neither would send her with Abrahams seruant to be married, before such time as they had asked her consent: yea, when as they said, We will call the Gen. 24. 57.Gen 24:57maide, and aske her consent: do they not plainly shew, that both the law of Nature, and the Law of God taught them, that this consent was of great moment, & absolute necessity? And when the Apostle doth command men and women to marrie in the Lord; how can the marriage be in the Lord, when one party doth not onelyonly not louelove, but hate the other? And how can such two become one flesh lawfully, when as there wants the vnion and coniunction of the heart, the true naturall mother of all marriage duties? Wherefore this promise must be in this respect, at least willing and voluntary.

For, albeit it is not necessary, neither yet possible, that there should be such great measure of true, holy, and sanctified louelove at that time as afterward, (for that groweth by little and little according to the blessing of God, and the faithfull performance of other duties afterward euen to their liues end,) yet if it be voluntarie and vnfained, it is enough, and sufficient to make a true contract in the Lord. So as no man ought to separate those, whom God hath thus ioyned.

Secondly, we call it voluntary, in respect of constraint and compulsion, contrary to a free cōsent. For if either party be vrged, constrained, or compelled, by great feare of their parents or others, by threatning of losse of preferment, of health, of limbe, of life, or of any such other like, or by any other violent manner of dealing whatsoeuer, to yeeld their promise, cleane contrary to the motion or good liking of their hearts; this kind of promise, as it doth not binde the partie to keepe it, so it ought to be frustrated & broken, by the parents themselues, or by such maisters as may and ought to command and rule them in such cases. If this were not so, how could the parties keepe the commandements of God, giuing them direction whom to marrie? First, that they should marrie onelyonly in the Lord.

Againe, that they should not be vnequally yoked with infidels: neither of which they can keepe if their parents might compell them to Contract and marrie. It becometh the parents to perswade their children by all good meanes to yeeld their consent, rather then to draw them by wicked sleights and cunning, drunkennesse, or any other wicked and violent meanes. For, as that is not to marrie in the Lord: so all such forced Contracts, may be broken and frustrated by the Magistrate, who is Gods Lieutenant, to redresse such intollerable enormities among the societies of men. For, if parents may deny marriage to such as hauehave onelyonly by force and violence obtained the word and body of their child, much more may the magistrate deny marriage, where onelyonly a verball promise nath bene gotten by violent compulsion: and for these causes, and in this sense and meaning alone, we conclude, that Contracts must be voluntary.

Fourthly, it must be a mutuall promise, that is, either party must make it to other, not the man onelyonly, nor the woman onelyonly, but both the man and the woman: though decency and order require the man to do it first, and then the woman, because he is her head, and she his glory: and ought to leade and guide her in all things, wherein the Lord hath put a pre heminence.

For, if this promise be not mutually made of them both, but of one alone, it is no true and perfect Contract: and therefore may be broken by parents, and such as hauehave authority herein: because the party vnpromising, is not bound by word or deed, but is free, in so much that such a Contract is rather so termed, then that it is any true Contract indeed.

But if it be mutuall, then it doth mutually and muiolably bind both: so that in this regard, neither parent, magistrate, nor any other, can or ought to breake it: for this being fully performed and accomplished, is one principall cause of making two one flesh, in such sort as it is written: Therefore a man shall leaue his father and mother, and shall be ioyned to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh, &c. Genes. 2. 24. Also that the man hath not power ouer his owne body, nor the woman ouer hers: and so to be short, hence ariseth all mutuall beneuolence betweene them. And therefore a point of great weight and necessitie, in no wise to be omitted in a Contract.

Fiftly, we say, it must be betweene one man and one woman: where first it is to be noted; that it may not, nor ought not to be betweene any other creatures, but man-kind: nay, neither among brute beasts nor Angels. For God hath not ordained or instituted marriage for them, neither can it be betweene man and man, or woman and woman. If any such Contract be either voluntary, or by fraud and deceipt, by ignorance or errour, it is no Contract at all, but a meere wicked profanation of Gods ordinance, who gaue onelyonly woman to man, not woman to woman, nor man to man. Likewise, it cannot be betweene Angels good or bad, and woman, because God hath set no such ordinance in the nature of these creatures.

If therefore there hath bene any such matter, or shall be attempted by Sathan, with any woman (as some stories report) it is nothing … but a meere illusion and diuellish practise, to deceiue and draw superstitious into the kingdome of darknesse, and to intrap them in the chaines of condemnation: against which, and all other diabolicall illusions, we ought to watch and pray continually.

Secondly, it is to be obserued, that betweene one man and one woman: and not two men and one woman, or two women; not betweene two women and one man, or moe.

By which is condemned, as meere nullities and prophanations, all Contracts whatsoeuer, made betweene moe then two. For it is written; And they twaine shall be one flesh: to which Marke addeth: So that they are no more twaine, but one Mat. 19. 5. Mar. 10. 8. Eph 5. 31. 1. Cor. 6. 16.Matt 19:5Mark 10:8Eph 5:311 Cor 6:16flesh.

Wherefore seeing that Christ and his Apostles, expound the first institution of marriage of two onelyonly, and not of any moe; it is certaine, that the Contract or promise thereof, ought to be of two alone, and no moe. So the holy Ghost, saying; Let eueryevery man hauehave his owne wife, and eueryevery woman her owne husband: and not, Let eueryevery one 1. Cor. 7. 2.1 Cor 7:2hauehave his owne wiues, or her own husbands. It is therefore plaine & questionlesse, that he would hauehave a Contract and marriage to be onelyonly betweene one and one.

Againe, saying: his owne, and her owne; doth he not plainly infinuate, eueryevery other person and persons, not to be their owne, but meere strangers, with whom they ought to hauehave nothing adoe in respect of marriage duties, especially considering that the Greeke word Idion, can import no lesse. Now then, if there be at any time, or any place, a promise betweene moe then two, as it is a wicked and meere prophanation of the holy ordinance of God: so it may and ought to be broken; yea, seuerely punished by parents and Magistrates. If against this it be obiected; that many of the Patriarches and good men vnderunder the Law, had many wiues, or at least moe then one: we answer, It was their secret sinne, and great infirmitie, though proceeding from ignorance of the first institution of Marriage, of the Law, and the holy Prophets, (or else they had warrant from God, which we hauehave noted.) Of the institution: because Christ interpreting it, saith: From the beginning it Math. 19. 8.Matt 19:8was not so: proouing that Moses permitted diuorcement of the first wife, and marriage of the second, not mooued or warranted by the authority of Gods institution, but by a fearefull and timorous consideration of the hardnesse of the peoples hearts, whom he ruled, lest they should hauehave rebelled against him if he had not so done. Of the Law: because there was by this meanes great iniury done to Gods truth, and to the wiues diuorced: besides, the Law it selfe well vnderstood (as Christ expoundeth it, Matth. 5. …) admitteth no diuorcement, except it be for fornication. And that the Lord did disallow and hate all other kindes of diuorcement, made without Deut. 24. 14.Deut 24:14the cause of fornication, it is euident, in that he condemneth the second marriage, after the first diuorcement, affirming that the woman so diuorced, is defiled by her second husband: which could not be true, if their marriage had bene lawfull and warrantable by the commandement of God; for where the marriage is lawfull and honourable, there the bed is vndefiled. Of the Prophets: Because the Lord hath bene Hebr. 13. 4. Mal. 2. 14. 15. 16.Heb 13:4Mal 2:14Mal 2:15Mal 2:16witnesse betweene thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast transgressed: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy couenant. And did not he make one? yet had he abundance of the spirit: and wherefore one? because he sought a godly seede: therefore keepe your selues in your spirit, and let none trespasse against the wife of his youth. If thou hatest her, put her away (saith the Lord God of Israel) yet he couereth the iniury vnderunder his garment (saith the Lord of hoasts: ) therefore keepe your selues in your spirit, and transgresse not. Then which words, what can be more plainly spoken against 1this sinne of hauing more wiues then one? For doth not the Prophet plainly say, that God is witnesse, that they hauehave transgressed against the wife of their youth and couenant? Doth he not call them to the first institution, when God 2made but one, and that because he would hauehave a godly seede, and not an adulterous generation? Doth he not further say, that in putting away the wife, they did nothing else but couer 3iniury, vnderunder pretence of his law, as with a 4garment? And finally, doth he not giuegive a cleane contrary commandement to that wicked custome of diuorcement, and marrying of others? when he saith; Keepe your selues in your spirit, and let none transgresse against the wife of his youth, and of his couenant. Surely, none can be so blind, but reading this portion of Scripture, he must needs plainly see and acknowledge the same.

Wherefore, if the first sacred institution of God, do bewray this corruption of hauing more wiues then one: if the Law do condemne it, and if the Prophets do so sharply censure and rebuke it, why should any be so impudent and wicked, as to iustifie it in word, or to approue it in thought? Rather as here we teach, let vsus iudge and beleeue, that eueryevery lawfull Contract and marriage, ought to be onelyonly betweene one man and one woman. And the rest to be so many breaches of Gods ordinances and commandements, which cannot but be hatefull to him, and iniurious to mankind: but especially to the Church of God, which ought to arise of a holy and godly seede. Now if any Contract be made betweene moe then two, it is altogether voyde, and of none effect, and ought to be broken by the party, and punished by the magistrate.

The sixt point concerneth the persons betweene whom the Contract is made, in whom there is required two properties: meetnesse for marriage, and freedome or liberty to marry one another. Touching the first, those especially are fit and meete to marrie, whom God doth call to that honourable estate, and commandeth them to vse it as his lawfull meanes, appointed and sanctified for procreation: for so it appeareth by the first institution, wherein God gaue the woman to the man to be an helper meete for him, as in other things, so especially in this: whom he blessed, saying: Bring foorth fruite and Gen. 1. 28.Gen 1:28multiplie, &c. And that we may know more particularly what sort of persons they be, the holy Ghost describeth them to be such, as to whom the gift of continency is denied, yet the gift of procreation is vouchsafed and granted. For if marriage (as the Apostle saith, Hebrewes 13. verse 4.) be honourable among all sorts of persons, then amongst those that be strong. Againe, it is written: I say to the vnmarried, and to widowes, it is good for them if they abide euen as I do: 1. Cor. 7. 8. 9.1 Cor 7:81 Cor 7:9but if they cannot abstaine let them marrie: for it is better to marrie then to burne. In which words we may plainly see, that he pointed out, as with his finger, those that are called and commanded by God to marrie: namely, such as hauehave not receiued the gift of abstinence and continency. Which calling and commandement is so much the straighter, and the more to be regarded and followed, because the Apostle gaue it to those persons that were molested and presfed with many and grieuous persecutions: a season of all other most vnfit for any to marry in, in as much as beside the ordinarie incommodities of marriage estate, it cannot but bring with it many extraordinary grieuances and troubles. Notwithstanding, if such persons be called and commanded then to marrie, when as there were most grieuous persecutions; much more in the time of peace and prosperitie.

By this then we see, that all persons which hauehave not receiued the gift of abstinence, and are fit for procreation, are called and commanded to marrie, and therefore may lawfully enter a Contract of the same.

But are none else meete for marriage? We answer, that no other is called, commanded, or warranted by God, to make Contract with any of these meet ones, because they are vnable to performe the principall duties of marriage. As for children vnderunder age, they are altogether vnfit to take vponupon them this honourable estate, and therefore debarred by Gods Commandement from making any promise or Contract. If they hauehave done it, it is but a meere prophanation of this holy ordinance, worthy great punishment, and also to be broken, if that (being come to yeares of discretion and state of mariage) they do not by wisedome and religion supply all that was wanting in their former rash attempt, to the full contentation of all that hauehave interest in them. As for those that hauehave receiued the gift of continency, they are called & counselled to chastity, during the whole time of that gift, for so saith our Sauiour Christ, All men cannot receiue this thing, (aue they to whom it is giuen: Matth. 19. 11. And againe, He that is able to receiue this, let him receiue it. So the Apostle saith, It is good for them if they abide euen as I do: 1. Cor. 7. 7. Againe, Art thou loosed from a wife? seeke not a wife: So likewise are those that are borne chast, or made chast by men, or by themselues for the kingdome of heauen. But you will say; What if any of these do make a Contract and marry? We answer, first, if they be vtterly vnfit for marriage, their contract is of no validitie, and may be broken by superiour authority; but if they be fit for it, we say with the Apostle, Art thou loosed 1. Cor. 7. 27.1 Cor 7:27from a wife? seeke not a wife, but if thou takest a wife, thou sinnest not: and if a virgine marrie, she sinneth not, &c.

Last of all, as consanguinity and affinitie do restraine and bind from this former Contract and marriage: so likewise do naturall frigidity, and coldnesse, infancie, incurable diseases that depriue men of all fitnesse for the vse of marriage. So as if any such by fraud, ignorance, or any other sinister meanes be contracted, it is nothing; and the parties may be lawfully separated, because they were neuer ioyned together in the Lord, but against the Lord.

And here, when we say, meete and fit to marrie one with another, there would be a wise and holy regard had of equality in yeares, of agreement in religion, or similitude in nature and manners, outward estate and condition, & qualitie of person, and such like necessary circumstances.

For what is more vnmeete, then for an old person to promise to be contracted to a young one? for an infidell to Contract with a beleeuer? for a good natured and well mannered, with a crooked and froward person? for a Prince with a begger? For although all these do not annihilate and make voyde the Contract altogether; yet such Contracts cannot be in the Lord. And thus much shall suffice to hauehave taught, touching the fitnesse of Marriage.

Now concerning the freedome and libertie, it is cleere, that those alone hauehave liberty & freedome to Contract, who hauehave liberty to marry.

Now if we will know who those be, they are diuersly described and noted in Leu. 18. where certaine degrees, as well in affinity as in consanguinity are expresly forbidden: so that if such parties shall Contract themselues together, their Contract is vaine, and a meere nullity; such as ought to be broken and punished.

Againe, eueryevery one either betrothed or maried, is bounden and tied from contracting with any other; for that were nothing else but to promise grosse and beastly adultery. And as the Apostle teacheth, that the wife is bound by the Law, as long as her husband liueth: so likewise is the betrothed wife; insomuch as if any such shall Contract themselues with another, it is a meere nullity and wicked prophanation of Gods ordinance, and ought vponupon knowledge thereof to be broken and punished. And thus we see what manner of persons the Lord hath called and commanded to marry, and who they be that are meete and free to marrie together, and who not.

The last point is the consent and allowance of their parents: which though it be very materiall and necessary, yet it is not the sole forme or formall cause which maketh a true Contract.

For if the parents should yeeld their consent to their children, being neither meete nor free to be married together, it were nothing: & such a Contract, though warranted by parents cōsent, ought to be broken by the Magistrate, and both parents and children are to be punished.

For this cause we hauehave not said simply, and allowed: but therefore allowed so to do; because consent of parents to such children as are not meete and fit to be married together, doth not make that Contract good, true, and inuiolable: which neuerthelesse, wanting their consents, though in other respects neuer so good, is a meere nullity, & cannot be accomplished without the manifest breaches of the institution, and guilt of adulterie.

Now by parents we vnderstand not onelyonly the naturall parents, but such as by the law of nature and of God, supply their places: as grandfathers, great grand-fathers, vncles, aunts, great vncles and aunts, brethren, sisters, kins-men, and kins-women, Magistrates, and those to whose families the parties do especially belong. For all these are honoured in Scripture by the name of parents. Neither may we exempt out of this number, Gardians, Maisters, and such to whom the continuall custodie and tuition of any is lawfully committed. For if such be commanded to prouide for them, as parts of their owne families, there is no reason why they should not especially be respected, as well in bestowing them abroad out of their familie, as they were in taking them into it. For if their consent be necessarie at their coming in, why should they go out without their consent?

Further, we say their parents, and not his or her parents, because parents on both sides ought necessarily to consent and allow their children to betroth themselues. For this is the priuiledge not of some parents, but of all; and in that they be parents. Moreouer, we say allowed, and not required, neither commanded, nor yet exhorted or instructed so to do; because, that albeit the parents do neither call their children to this Contract, neither command them, neither require them, neither exhort them, (all which notwithstanding they ought to do) yet if they do but onelyonly allow them, and giuegive them bare consent that they shall contract themselues, it is enough for the tying of the knot, and the substance of the Contract. And to prooue that this contract is necessary, we need no more reasons but that which the Apostle setteth downe, saying of the father, Let him do what he will. By Cor. 7. 36.which words he putteth it in the will and power of the father, either to bestow or not to bestow his daughter in marriage: saying, In doing either of the twaine, he sinneth not. Yet it is written in another place: If the father refuse to giuegive Exod. 22. 16. 7.Exod 22:16Exod 22:7her to him, he shall pay money, according to the dowrie of Virgins. In which words the Lord doth giuegive an absolute authority to the father, to yeeld, or not to yeeld his consent: to giuegive, or not to giuegive his daughter. For if he hauehave power to deny it to his daughter that is deflowred, and so (by the Apostles iudgement) made one flesh with another; much more lawfully may he deny his consent Cor. 6. 16.to her that is no manner of way bound, but is eueryevery way free. And if he hauehave power to deny his consent in such a case, much more hath he power to giuegive his consent.

Now his authority and power to deny his consent, is apparent by the expresse commandement of God in that behalfe, which saith, Take heed to thy selfe that thou make no compact Exod. 34. 16.Exod 34:16with the inhabitants of the land, and so take of their daughters vntounto thy sonnes, &c. More plaine; Neither shalt thou make marriages with them, neither giuegive thy daughter vntounto his sonne, nor take his daughter …. 7. 3.to thy sonne. How could those parents obserue this commandement, vnlesse God had giuen them power to deny consent to their children; or why doth he rather forbid to the parents, then to the children? but to shew that the power to giuegive or not to giuegive, was in the parents and not in the children? especially considering the children being the principall parts of their parents goods, are no lesse in their power and authoritie to giuegive and bestow, then the rest are. This was so well knowne in the Church, and so vsually practised amongst the people of God, that the greatest among them, who might seeme to hauehave greatest liberty in that behalfe, durst not disobey the holy commandement of God. For Sampson the strongest of all, though he loued a Maide of the Philistims, yet he durst not betroth Iudg. 15.Judg 15himselfe vntounto her, before he had intreated his parents to giuegive her vntounto him.

Dauid a mighty valiant Prince, begged Michol at the hands of Saul her father, and after 2. Sam. 3. 14.2 Sam 3:14his death (being betrothed vntounto her) he desired her of Ishbosheth her brother. Iacob agreed with Laban for his wiues. And Abraham, (the father Gen. 24.Gen 24of the faithfull) by his seruant, intreated Rebeccaes parents, to giuegive her to wife vntounto his sonne Isaack. All which testimonies and examples do plainly proue the great interest, power, and authority that parents hauehave in bestowing their children, and that their consent added to the sixe former points, whereof we hauehave spoken, doth make for so sure a Contract, as cannot be loosed and vntyed by any authoritie vnderunder heauen. For here in this, that saying of Christ, Matth. 19. 6. is truly verified: Let no man put asunder that which God hath coupled together: but if this, or any of the former be omitted, the Contract may be broken and disanulled. And lest we should be ignorant or forget what those errors are, which disauow and lawfully frustrate a Contract. These they be:

1. First, if there be onelyonly a naked shew of a promise, and yet no promise indeed.

2. Secondly, if any other thing be promised then Marriage.

3. Thirdly, if the promise be conuinced to be meere hypocriticall or forced.

4. Fourthly, if one of the parties alone do promise, and not both.

5. Fifthly, ifit were wade betweene other creatures, or betweene moe then one man and one woman.

6. Sixthly, if the persons contracted, or either of them be altogether vnfit for marriage.

7. Seuenthly, if either of them be formerly betrothed, or hauehave committed adultery after the Contract, or be allyed, or ofkinne, or for any other cause not at liberty to marry.

8. Eightly, if there lacke the consent of the parents.

If all or any of these be vndoubtedly knowne, and clearely proued, they do ioyntly and seuerally frustrate or nullifie the Contract, so as the Magistrate may lawfully dissolue the same, and set the parties at libertie. But contrarily, if all these concurre and accord, the Contract is as inuiolable as marriage it selfe: neither can the parties be set at liberty by themselues, or by any power whatsoeuer, because this Contract and eueryevery parcell thereof is in the Lord: which being a sacred ordinance of God, as it cannot but hauehave speciall vse and fruite among his Saints; so now it is time to declare and teach the same.

First therefore it serueth as a strong bridle to pull backe the force and headinesse of carnall, naturall, and brutish lust. For if this Contract be holily and dutifully kept, according to the former doctrine, it would neuer come to passe that any person, man or woman, should abuse their bodies suddenly or hastily vponupon eueryevery instigation oflust, (like brute beasts) but would willingly, in all modesty and sobriety, take sufficient time of deliberation for the making and accomplishing of this necessary and holy Contract, which is ordained to this end, that men might hauehave sufficient time of deliberation to learne all the vses and abuses, all the commodities and incommodities, all the comforts and discomforts; with all the duties & breaches of duties, that can befall in the honourable estate of marriage.

2 Secondly, it serueth to discouer betimes, and in good season, all sorts of impediments & lets that may or ought to hinder the marriage that is promised. Hence came that ancient and most excellent custome of asking the banes of Matrimony thrice, or three seuerall dayes, to the end that eueryevery materiall defect might be learned in time when it might be remedied, rather then after marriage accomplished, when it is remedilesse.

3 Thirdly, it serueth for the keeping and preseruation of honest chastity; seeing by this meanes, not onelyonly former promises and contracts, but also fornications (if any hauehave bene) and adulteries, may be descried and discerned. For after Ioseph was contracted, before he was married, his wife was found to be with child; though without ill demeanour on her part, yet it made Ioseph so afraid, that he had intended in his heart priuately to relinquish & forsake her, and had so done indeed, had not Gods Angell commanded the contrary. Neuerthelesse, it was the Contract that discouered this truth, and so preserued Maries virginitie, that the Scripture might be fulfilled, which saith, A Virgine shall conceiue, &c. If this were not, men might vponupon knowledge or ignorance make two seuerall contracts with seuerall persons, and commit fornication and adulterie with other mens wiues, either betrothed or married, and so lose their honesty and chastity, to their great infamy and hinderance.

4 Last of all, it serueth to condemne and auoyd all priuate Contracts and secret marriages: and contrarily, to iustifie and grace the honourable estate of Marriage, as well in the beginning as in the end thereof, that all things touching the same might be begun, continued and finished in the Lord, according to his commandement, that his promised blessings might ensue vponupon it accordingly.

This being done, the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God, as they will answer at the day of iudgement; plainly to bewray and declare if they know any of the foresaid impediments in themselues, or in their children, for which this Contract ought not to be made. If they say they know none, or if they declare none; then the consent of the parents is to be demanded; which if they yeeld, then the consent of the parties is also to be required. And so the parties are to be betrothed and affianced in these words, or such like;

1. N. do willingly promise to marrie thee N. if God will, and I liue, whensoeuer our parents shall thinke good and meete: till such time I take thee for my onelyonly betrothed wife; and thereto plight thee my troth. In the name of the Father, the Sonne, and the holy Ghost: So be it.

The same is to be done by the woman, the name onelyonly changed; and all in the presence of parents, kinsfolks and friends. After this the parents are to be admonished, to set and appoint the day of marriage, neither too neare nor too farre off, but to appoint a competent space of time, that it may be sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments whereby promised marriage might be hindred, and yet giuegive no occasion by reason of the length thereof, to prouoke the parties to incontinency. In the meane time the parties affianced, are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of marriage, and to behaue themselues wisely, chastly, louingly, and soberly, till the day appointed do come. And so with a Psalme and prayer to cóclude the holy action. Now that there should be a competent space betweene the time of the Contract and the day of marriage, it is very necessary for these causes.

1. That there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to house-keeping, betweene that time and the celebrating of marriage; but this is not a chiefe cause.

2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt brute beasts & men, and betwixt the prophane and his children: for they euen as beasts do after a beastlike manner, being led by a naturall … and motion, come together: but God will hauehave this difference, whereby his children should … seuered from that brutish manner, in that they should hauehave a certaine distance of time betweene the knitting of affection, and enioying one of another, and a more neere ioyning of one vntounto another.

3. That they should in that time thinke on the causes why they are to marrie, and the duties of marriage. For many enter thereinto not considering at all of the great duties belonging to them in the same, nor thinking of the troubles and afflictions that follow marriage. But the Lord would hauehave these things thought on, and a consideration to be had, both of the causes of marriage and the duties to be performed, and the troubles to be vndergone.

A good and carefull housholder so ordereth and frameth his houshold, as it may manifestly appeare, that it is indeed the house of a faithfull Christian, and that he himselfe is a Pastor ouer his family, that he instructeth it diligently in the feare of God, and keepeth it in good and godly discipline by continuall exercise of godlinesse. So that in his house you shall find the chast wife, the shamefaced, plaine and modest wife, decked without as she is within: no painted nor marked thing, rendring true obedience to her husband, and hauing a carefull eye vponupon her family, seruants and children: the maister, father, and husband, the children and seruants, eueryevery one likewise in his degree, employing himselfe sincerely in his dutie and office, approuing his doings as before God.

Now, like as in the mind there are such vertues as we hauehave before spoken of: so are … Froward wicked qualities of the mind. 1. Cor. 5. 10. 11 & 6. 9. Gal. 5. 19. 20. 21. 2. Tim. 3. 2. 3. 4. 5.1 Cor 5:101 Cor 5:111 Cor 6:9Gal 5:19Gal 5:20Gal 5:212 Tim 3:22 Tim 3:32 Tim 3:42 Tim 3:5in it also noysome wicked vices and detractions, as vngodlinesse, despising of Gods word, vnbeliefe, idolatrie, superstition, ignorance, churlishnesse, lying, falshood, hypocrisie, vnrighteousnesse, swearing, backbiting, distemperance, drunkennesse, gluttony, couetousnesse, vnchastitie, vnshame fastnesse, misnourture, rashnesse, furiousnesse, wantonnesse, pride, presumption, vain-glory, childing, brawling, and vnhandsomnesse. Who so now chooseth him a wife, or the a husband, that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices, he seeketh not a spouse, … she a husband, for a right, peaceable, good, honest, and Christian life: but an hell, a painefulnesse, and destruction of all expedient, quiet, and vertuous liuing: but specially, there is little good to be hoped for of him or her, whereas vngodlinesse and contempt of the word remaineth. For like as the feare of God draweth the whole garland of vertues with it: so vngodlinesse and despising of Gods word, bring all vice and abhominations; yea, and shutteth vp the way to amendment.

When these points and rules are duly and warily obserued on either part, they may ioyne together, and say as Laban and Bethuel said, This cometh of the Lord, therefore we will not speake against it. Oh how happie are those in whom faith, louelove, and godlinesse are married together, before they marrie themselues? For none of these carnall, cloudie, and whining marriages can say, that godlinesse was inuited and bidden to the bridall: and therefore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse do flie from them.

22The riches of the body.After the riches of the mind, do the riches of the bodie follow next: of which sort is a comely, beautifull, or well-fauoured body, health, a conuenient age, &c. A beautifull bodie is such a one as is of right forme and shape, Beautie.meete, and of strength to beare children, and gouerne an house; euen such a one as both the man and woman can find in their hearts vnfainedly to louelove aboue all other, and to be content withall, &c. As concerning the beautie or comlinesse of the body (where there is else no good property or qualitie beside) Salomon saith, Prou. 31. 30. Fauour is deceitfull, and beautie is vanitie: but the woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. And Prou. 11. 22. As a iewell of gold in a swines snout: so is a faire woman which lacketh discretion: or is of vncomely behauiour, and hath not wit nor gouernment to behaue her selfe. For beautie is a fraile gift and a slippery, and more profitable to those that behold it, then to those that hauehave it.

The beautifull woman can take no great pleasure in beautie, but a little as it were in a glasse, and yet incontinently she forgetteth that she beheld and saw: and yet it is many times both to her selfe and to them that behold her beautie, a prouocation to much euill. She that is faire waxeth proud of it, and he that doth behold her becometh subiect vntounto filthy louelove. But in the mind (which is iudged to be the man) consist the true lineaments and properties of fairenesse, which entice and prouoke spirituall and heauenly louelove, being mixt with nothing that is shamefull, either to be done or spoken. And therefore there is no man so farre without wit, that had not rather hauehave her which is foule and hard fauoured, but yet is honest and vertuous, then to hauehave her which is faire and vnhonest, and also irreligious.

Happie, and twice happy is that man and that woman that are coupled in marriage with a godly and vertuous mate and bedfellow; they are doubtlesse greatly blessed of God. For house and riches are the inheritance of the fathers, but a prudent wife cometh of the Lord. They therefore are not well in their wits, but greatly deceiue themselues, that make choycc of wiues or husbands, hauing regard onelyonly to their stature, comelinesse of personage, or to their beautie, and esteeme not more the riches of the mind.

Health also must be considered in their choyce, lest otherwise great inconueniences come therby, and lest the whole house be poy soned and infected. But we speake here of contagious sicknesses, and not of such common infirmities and vsuall diseases, that both men and women are subiect vntounto. As of madnesse, frenzie, french pockes, or such like: which eueryevery wise man and woman doth vtterly detest.

Neuerthelesse, where any married parties are now together, and be visited with any such diseases, they must one comfort and suffer with the other, as they are now one bodie, &c.

To hauehave temporall preferments, is to be borne of noble parents, or to come of a worshipfull stocke, to hauehave lands, liuings, riches, great offices, gaines, or occupyings, and such like. But the chiefest nobilitie, and most worthy of commendation, is indeed to be noble in vertues, in good works, manners and conditions. But to be borne of gentilitie, and to vse and behaue himselfe vngently, is euen as much as to shame himselfe and his kindred.

Such therefore as purpose to marry, ought carefully to foresee and looke to this matter; lest being too greedie of honour, worship or wealth and intending to hauehave the gold, they catch the hot coales, & burne themselues without recouerie: for a man may buy gold too Chuse a wife for vertue onelyonly. Pro. 19. 14.Prov 19:14deare (as we vsually say.) For temporall goods sake, the matter miscarieth, and is in danger.

There is sometimes great wealth, but with little honestie, and with lesse good conscience it is gathered together. And with the same riches will not continue alwaies, prosperitie, peace and quietnesse. Many so trust to their wealth, as that they will not frame themselues to any lawfull calling, neither will they learne any. Therefore also can they do nothing to profit their country, and the common-wealth, but liue ioly and daintily, and with pride, riot, excesse, and dishonesty, do quickely wast that which hath bene long in gathering together. Now when there is alwayes taking from the heape, and nothing laid thereto, it wasteth away in processe of time, how great soeuer it hath bene: then followeth pouerty, yea an intollerable and vnpatient pouerty: for they that now lauish and spend prodigally altogether, hauehave had no necessity hitherto, but flowed in all wealth; therefore after such a Sunne-shine, there commeth euer an extreame heate, and thenceforth begin they to warme themselues at the bare pans, and to spare when all is spent.

Such then as in their choise, look to the multitude of goods, and regard not how they were gotten, and whence they came, hauehave customably such smoky hats set vponupon their heads, that all the water in the riuer cannot wash away the corruption thereof. For goods without God, honesty, and good conscience, are deadly poyson, and the bodily … himselfe. Yea, goods and riches in the hand of an vndiscreete and ignorant man, are as a sharpe knife in the hand of a child, that doth no good therwith, but wound and hurt himselfe. Wherefore eueryevery man and eueryevery woman in their election ought to hauehave more respect to vertue, godlinesse, discretion, & knowledge, then to riches. Moreouer, an hand that is occupied, and winneth, and getteth his liuing, godly, Christianly, and honestly, doth farre excell any riches that are …. For although the world esteeme them happy, which liue in wealth, ease, and idlenesse: yet the holy Ghost approueth and alloweth them best that liue of the meane profit of their labours. Psal. 128. 1. 2.

And this also is a very necessary point to be obserued, that the man chuse such a woman, and the woman such a man, as that there be equality betwixt them, both in bloud and estate.

For by how much the greater and streighter Seek no match in marriage, aboue thy …. Equalitie in marriage to be respected.the coniunction is of the husband and the wife, so much the more ought eueryevery one to prouide to be indifferently matched. And truely this equality of marriage, is in two speciall things to be considered; to wit, estate, and age. For as two horses, or two oxen of vnequall …, cannot be coupled vnderunder one selfe same yoake: so a noble-woman, matching with a man of base estate: or contrarily, a gentleman with a begger, cannot be consorted, and well matched vnderunder the bands of wedlocke. But yet when it happeneth that a man marrieth a woman of so high a birth, he ought (not forgetting that he is her husband) more to honour and esteeme of her, then of his equall, or of one of meaner parentage, and not onelyonly to account her his-companion in louelove, and in his life, but (in diuers actions of publicke apparence) to hold her his superiour: which honour is not yet accompanied with reuerence, as is that which for manners sake we are wont to do to others. And she ought to consider, that no distinction or difference of birth and nobility can be so great, but that the league which both Gods ordinance and nature hath ordained betwixt men and women farre exceedeth it: for by nature woman was made mans subiect. But if a man shall take to wife an inferior or mean-woman, he also ought to weigh, that matrimony maketh equall many differences: and further, that he hath not taken her for a slaue or seruant, but for a fellow and companion of his life. And seeing that election and choise, is nothing else, but to take Of the choise of a wise.a thing meete and conuenient, to the end it is prepared for: therefore eueryevery one that must chuse, ought to regard the end, & to know what thing is conuenient for it. So that it is needfull that he be wise and discret, or else he cannot dispose it, nor perceiue what thing is conuenient for it. Therefore, if a man would aduisedly consider, that he is to liue with his wife continually, and she with him, he would then be very circumspect in the choise of her; which choise maketh either very much for his felicitie and comfort, or else for his great miserie and discomfort. For by how much the more a thing is vnited and knit vntounto man, so much the more it may either helpe him, if it be good, or hinder him if it be euill. Those dammages and hurts which are inwardly in the body, are worse then those which are without the body: and those of the soule, then those of the body: and likewise men do iudge of those things which are called good.

But peraduenture it may seeme vntounto some, that these … are not vniuersally true. For vntounto some the losse of their goods, is more then the losse of their health. But this thing doth not arise nor happen of the goods or money it selfe, but because some man doth perswade himselfe, that to lose his goods, is a thing intolletable. And yet for all that, goods are not of more estimation then is life or health, but it is a mans affection that doth rule in this thing: and therfore it seemeth lesse to some, to be driuen out of a kingdome, then to other some to lose a small portion of their possessions. Some will reuenge a word most cruelly; and some other well beaten and buffeted, will not reuenge it at all.

All these things do proceed and come of the soule, which is most in wardly ioyned and knit vntounto a man, and hath more power in him then the body.

If it be then of so great importance, what … of friend thou hauehave, to liue commodiously or incommodiously withall; which shall none otherwise dwell, or be in the selfe-same chamber, bed, or house with thee, but that thou mayest shake him off at thy pleasure? how much more oughtest thou to take heed when thou chusest thee a wife, which must be continually conuersant with thee, at thy table, in thy chamber, in bed, in thy secrets and finally, in thy heart and breast? If thou go from home, thou doest commit thy house, thy familie, thy goods, and thy children (of all other things the most pleasant) vntounto her; she is the last that leaueth thee at thy departing, and the first that receiueth thee at thy returning: thou departest from her with sweete embracements and kisses; and with sweete kisses and embracements she receiueth thee at thy returne home: vntounto her thou disclosest thy ioy and heauinesse. So that it is an heauenly life to be conuersant and in company with those that a man delighteth in, and loueth. But it is a calamity infernall, to be bound and forced to see those things that a man doth greatly hate and abhorre, or to be in company with those that a man would not be withall, and yet cannot be separated, nor depart from them.

Hereof commeth (as we do see in some marriages) so great ruines, so wicked and vile deeds, as maimes, and murthers, committed by such desperate persons, as are loath to keepe, and yet cannot lawfully refuse, nor leaue them.

Therefore yong folkes ought not to be too rash and hastie in their choise, but to hauehave the good aduice and direction of their parents and trustie friendes in this behalfe, who hauehave better iudgement, and are more free from the motions of all affections, then they are. And they must take heed, lest following the light and corrupt iudgement of their owne affections and minds, they change not a short delectation and pleasure, into a continuall sorrow … repentance. For we learne by great and continuall vse and experience of things, that the secret contracts made betweene those that be yong, do seldome prosper, whereas contrariwise, those marriages that are made and established by the aduice of wise and religious parents, do prosper well.

But especially, and before all things, such as A good wife is aboue all things to be craued of God by prayer.purpose to marrie, must faithfully with feruentnesse, and stedfast beleefe, (without ceassing) make their intetcession and prayer vntounto God, to whom all hearts are open and knowne, that he would not suffer them to go amisse, but (as a tender father) helpe and direct them, to make a right choise; so as they may liue honestly, and prosperously, as good Christians ought, to his glorie, and their owne comfort. For this purpose, there is a notable example of Eleazar, Abrahams seruant, who being sent to get, and make choise of a wife for Isaacke his maisters sonne, beginneth his matter with prayer. Gen. 24. 12. &c. So did Isaacke also, as it appeareth in the same Chapter, verse 60. When any hauehave determined with themselues to marrie, and hauehave vsed all diligence thereto required, they must desire of God, by humble and earnest prayer, good and prosperous successe, in whose hand and power it is to giuegive it; so doubtlesse he will effect it, if they aboue all other things shall hauehave an vndoubted hope and confidence in him, For if they, after they hauehave setled themselues, and hauehave satisfied their appetites, shall then resort vntounto God by prayer, desiring him that they may obtaine the thing that they most desire: it appeareth that they would make him the minister of their voluptuous desires and pleasures, and so doing, their vowes and prayers become most manifest blasphemie.

And therefore a man should not come vntounto marriage as vntounto a prophane thing, with a loose and vnprepared heart, but with a quiet, and well purged minde, as to a thing most sacred and holy. For Matrimonie doth not consist onelyonly in the coniunction of the body, neither yet in dauncing, nor banketting, proceeding and brought vntounto vsus with many other things from the Gentiles: but it should rather beseeme Christians, most studiously to pray vntounto God, that so waightie a thing as Matrimonie is, might hauehave good and prosperous successe. For Matrimonie is a thing sanctified of God, the which willeth the matrimoniall imbracements to be chast, the bed to be vndefiled, and Heb. 13. 4.Heb 13:4their progeny vnspotted: and it is after the mind of S. Paul, a signe of the great mystery wherewith Christ doth in dissolubly vnite himselfe vntounto his Church. Therefore thou oughtest so Ephes. 5. 25. 26. 27.Eph 5:25Eph 5:26Eph 5:27much as shall lie in thee, to lift vp thy mind, and to remember how great and worthy an image thou doest represent; and that thy wife shall be vntounto thee as the Church, and thou vntounto her as Christ; therefore thou shouldest shew thy selfe vntounto her, as Christ shewed himselfe vntounto his Church. The louelove of Christ vntounto his Church is incredible: and thy louelove also to thy wife ought to be most effectuall.

Society, and to liue together, is the most surest and strongest knot to knit, and ioyne amity and louelove among men, and beasts themselues.

There can be no greater societie or companie then is betweene a man and his wife; whose house, whose goods, whose chamber, &c. is common, their children are common, and they themselues partakers of all good and euill successe, of prosperitie and aduersitie: the which society and fellowship, were sufficient to stirre and prouoke him that loueth not his wife, to louelove and beneuolence. And what company or louelove shall a man looke to hauehave of him that loueth not his wife? There are, that in louelove and amity looke for gaine, as the vile Epicures do, vnworthy to be beloued, men which louelove themselues, and not their friends. And if we hauehave regard vntounto commoditie and profit, there is nothing that giueth so much as doth a good wife, no not horses, oxen, seruants or farmes: for a mans wife is the fellow and comforter of all care and thoughts, and doth more faithfull and true seruice vntounto him, then either maid-seruant or man-seruant, which do serue men for feare, or else for wages: but thy wife will be led onelyonly by louelove, and therefore she doth eueryevery thing better then all other.

And this doth God declare, saying: Let vsus make Adam as helper like vntounto himselfe: By the helper, is signified the vtilitie and profit of the seruice, and by the similitude and likenesse are signified louelove and helpefulnesse. For a seruant and he that is hired are insufficient to supply that place; there can neither be so much louelove, and ability to minister helpe and comfort to a man, as will be found in a faithfull wife.

The child is part of the father, and through a naturall pitie, they louelove each other: but yet the wife is more annexed and ioyned to her husband. The father doth labour and taketh paine for his children, but the children seldome labor or take paines for their fathers, and oftentimes are sent to inhabite and dwell in other mens houses, whereby in a manner it appeareth, that their streight and fast societie doth dissolue and breake: but the wife cleane contrarie, doth continually take paines for her husband, who may (as long as she liueth) neither change house nor bed. If commoditie and prosit be looked for, no commoditie excelleth this: if thou shalt louelove thy wife, thou shalt liue most pleasantly, if not, thy life will be most miserable and wretched. For there is nothing so sharpe nor so bitter, as to hate the thing that doth fauour and louelove thee, nor any thing more happy, then to louelove him that loueth thee. Therefore louelove, that thou mayest be loued.

Now we will in few words shew the occasions of Wedlocke, why and wherefore it was ordained, and for what purpose it should be contracted; that eueryevery man and woman may the better vnderstand to what thing they consent, when either of them granteth to marry the other.

Doubtlesse it cannot otherwise be, but that marriage, which was ordained of such an excellent author, as of God himselfe, and in such a worthy place as Paradise, and of such an ancient time, as in state of Adam and Eues innocencie, and after such a notable order, must likewise hauehave speciall causes for the ordinance of it. Therefore the holy Scripture doth declare Three causes of marriage.chiefly three causes thereof. The first is, the procreation, begetting, and bringing vp of children, Gen. 1. 27. 28. & 9. 1. For in the children do parents liue (after a sort) euen after death.

And, if they be well and vertuously brought vp, God is greatly honoured by them, the commonwealth is aduanced: yea, their parents and all other fare the better for them. For they are their parents comfort next vntounto God: their ioy, staffe, and vpholding of their age: and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts: for late sowing bringeth sometimes a late, but neuer an apt haruest: yong branches will bow as a man will hauehave them, but old trees will sooner breake then bow, &c. But more of this shall be said after, in the dutie of Parents.

Although marriage be an holy and sanctified ordinance, yet none may vse the benefit of it without some acknowledgement of originall Psal. 51. 5.Ps 51:5sin, in that vncleannesse may be practised therein, which should cause Gods children to vse this meanes with as much chastitie as may be, and husband and wise to keepe themselues together in the feare of God, and in all modestie and sobrietie. If then in marriage it selfe there be such mischiefes, what hellish mischiefe is there in those lustes, which are not expressed with these considerations? So that marriage is not a mad and dissolute estate, to giuegive libertie to their wiues in vncleannesse, nor wiues to consent with their husbands in impuritie, by immoderate, intemperate, or excessiue lust.

Many thinke they cannot sinne in this behalfe if they passe not their owne wiues: but they may make their marriage polluted and defiled, if they vse it without prayer and sobernesse, &c. 1. Tim 4. 4. 5.

Therefore the husband is to forbeare the company of his wife, when it is with her, as it is common to women, &c. Ezechiel, 18. 6. Leuiticus 18. 19. 24. 22 and 19. 18. This was one of the sinnes for which the Lord rooted out the Canaanites out of their land.

The second occasion why marriage was ordained, was, that the wife might be a lawfull remedy The second cause. wedlocke lawfull for such as hauehave not the gift of chastitie.to auoide whoredome, fornication, and all filthy vncleane lusts, 1. Cor. 7. 2. 3. &c. Touching this point, I will say no more: for it is handled at large by others already, and I hauehave elsewhere sufficiently discoursed of it.

The third and last cause was, for mans commoditie, The third cause.to the end to auoid the inconuenience of solitarinesse, that the one may helpe & comfort the other, in sicknesse, in affiction, and in all houshold cares and trouble, as education of children, and keeping the family in order. For this cause old men and old women may lawfully marrie. So that a wife is called by God himfelfe, an helper, and not an impediment, or a necessarie euill, as some vnaduisedly do say: This is often found most true, that such as are contemners of marriage, are most offenders against marriage, and liue most vnchastly.and as other some say, It is better to burie a wife, then to marrie one: againe, if we could be without women, we should be without great troubles.

These and such like sayings, tending to the dispraise of women, some maliciously and vndiseretly do vomit out, contrarie to the minde of the holy Ghost, who saith, that she was ordained as a helper, and not a hinderer. And if they be otherwise, it is for the most part, through the fault, and want of discrerion, and lacke of good gouernment in the husband. For married folkes, for two eyes hauehave foure: and for two hands as many moe: which being ioyned together, they may the more easily dispatch their handy businesse, and houshold affaires.

For like as a man hauing one hand or one foote, if by any meanes he get himselfe an other, may thereby the more easily lay hold on what he listeth, or go whither he will: euen so, he that hath married a wife, shall more easily enioy the healthfull pleasures, and profitable commodities of this present life. For in trouble, the one is a comfort to the other: in aduersity, the one a refreshing vntounto the other: yea, and in all their life, the one is a helpe and succour to the other.

Most true it is, that women are as men are, reasonable creatures, and hauehave flexible wits both to good and euill, the which with vse, discretion, and good counsell, may be altered and turned. And although there be some euill and leude women, yet that doth no more proue the malice of their nature, then of men. And therefore the more ridiculous and foolish are they, that hauehave inueighed against the whole sexe for a few euill: and hauehave not with like fury, vituperated and dispraised all mankind, because part of them are theeues, murtherers, and such like wicked liuers.

But the marriage and companie of the husband and wife, is made amiable, sweet, and comfortable by these fiue meanes: by godlinesse, vertue, … forbearing, mutuall louelove, and by dut … performed busily and godlily on both sides.

1. Godlinesse of right holdeth the chiefe place: for there is no stable and stedfast friendship, vnlesse it hauehave his beginning from God; and therefore must godlinesse needes shine before the rest. For when couples hauehave determined to obey God, all things afterwards become more easie.

2. Vertue and honest conditions breede mutuall delight betweene man and wife. For when vertue is exercised, it maketh conuersation of liuing more amiable.

3 Mutuall forbearing, whereby we take in good worth one anothers conditions and faults is very needfull. For in this weaknesse of nature, there happens many scapes, which will breede strife, if they be not couered by mutuall forbearing.

4. Mutuall louelove, hauing his beginning of godlinesse and true vertue, maketh the husband and wife not to be too sharpe-sighted, in spying into one anothers fauits: but that many things either they mark not, or if they marke them, they couer them with louelove. For louelove couereth a multitude of sinnes. 1. Peter, 4. 8. Prou. 10. 12.

5. Dutie performed godlily, caresully, and cheerefully on both sides, maketh the marriageyoke light and sweet. For when man and wife marke one another, and finde like heedfulnesse and buxomnesse in their dutie, both their companie is made more pleasant, and they are the more stirred vp on both sides to render dutifulnesse, that the one may requite the otheralike. Where these fiue duties be not, the companie of their life is both loath some and bitter, or rather more sharpe then death. Therefore, the godly couples must do their endeuour that these vertues may be seene in their life continually for euer.

Now we will (through Gods assistance) say something concerning the three seuerall points contained in this dutie, and mentioned in the beginning hereof, and so end this dutie.

21. Pet. 2. 7. By honour is meant that the husband is to sustaine and relieue the wants of his wife, to support, vphold, & beare with her infirmities, as the weaker vessell.1 The first whereof is, that the husband must liue with his wife according to knowledge. This point of doctrine is most plainely proued by the Apostle Peter, where he saith a Ye husbands, dwell with your wiues, as men of knowledge; giuing honour vntounto the woman, as vntounto the weaker vessell, euen as they which are heires together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not interrupted. Whereby he teacheth the husband his dutie, to wit, that the more vnderstanding and wisedome God hath endued him with, the more wisely and circumspectly he ought to behaue himselfe in the bearing those discommodities, which through his wiues weaknesse, oftentimes cause some iarre and dislike one to the other. Neuerthelesse, though she be by nature weaker then he, yet she is an excellent instrument for him, made for very profitable vse: whereupon it followeth, that she is not therefore to be neglected because she is weake, but on the contrarie part, she ought to be so much the more cared for. Like as a vessell the weaker it is, the more it is to be fauoured and spared, if we will hauehave it to continue: euen so a wife, because of her infirmities, is so much the more to be borne withall of her husband, 1. Peter 3. 7. And for so much as the husband and wife are equall, in that which is the chiefest, that is to say, in that gracious and free benefit, whereby they hauehave euerlasting life giuen them, though otherwise I confesse vnequall, as touching the gouernance and conuersation at home, the wife is not be despised, although she be weake. And besides, all brawlings and chidings must be eschued and cast away, because they hinder prayers, and the whole seruice of God, whereunto both the husband and the wife are equally Besides the prayers had with their family, they must pray priuately. Gen. 25. 21. 1. Cor. 7. 3. 4. 5.Gen 25:211 Cor 7:31 Cor 7:41 Cor 7:5called.

Also for the more confirmation of this point, the Apostle Paul likewise saith: Let the husband giuegive vntounto the wife due beneuolence, and likewise also the wife vntounto the husband: The wife hath not power ouer her owne bodie, but the husband: and likewise also, the husband hath not the power of his owne body, but the wife. Defraud not one another, except it be with consent for a time: that ye may giuegive your selues to fasting and prayer; and againe come together, that Sathan tempt you not for your incontinencie. Which is, as if the Apostle should say, the parties married must with singular affection, entirely louelove one the other; for that they are each in others power, as touching the bodie: so that they may not defraud one another; except the one abstaine from the other by mutuall consent, that they may the better giuegive themselues to prayer: wherin not withstanding they must consider what is expedient; lest by this long breaking off as it were, from marriage, they be stirred vp to incontinencie.

The second point is, that the husband should not be bitter, fierce, or cruell vntounto his wife: which point is approued by the said Apostle, saying: Husbands louelove your wiues, and be not bitter vntounto them.Col. 3. 19.Col 3:19

First, and aboue all things, the husband must be circumspect to keepe the band of louelove, and Anger in a husband is a vice.beware that there neuer spring vp the roote of bitternesse betwixt him and his wife.

If at any time there happen to arise any cause The roote of bitternesse to be weeded out by the spade of patience.of vnkindnesse betwixt them, (as it is impossible alwayes to be free from it) then he must be carefull to weede vp the same with all lenitie, gentlenesse and patience, and neuer suffer himselfe nor his wife to sleepe in displeasure. Ephesians, 4. 26. And if he shall hauehave occasion to How & when the husband ought to reproue.speake sharpely, and sometimes to reproue; he must beware that he do not the same in the presence of others: but let him keepe his words vntill a conuenient time, (which is the point of a wise man) and then vtter them in the spirit of meekenesse, and in the spirit of perfect louelove: and he must not let sometimes to couer faults, and winke at them, if they be not too great and intollerable. Whatsoeuer losse or mischaunce shall happen vntounto them, let him take it patiently, Faults sometimes must be couered with louelove.and beare it cheerefully: yea, though the same should come partly through his wiues negligence; yea rather let it be a louing warning to take better heed in time to come, then a cause to sorrow for that which is past, and cannot be holpen.

EueryEvery wise-man (by his owne experience) knoweth, that he is in his life subiect to many inconueniences, and that of nature he is prone to displeasure, and readie to take vnkindnesse for eueryevery trifle, and especially with his best Not to take vnkindnesse for eueryevery triflefriends; yea, soonest with his louing wife, who is lothest to displease him. Let him therefore beware of this cankered corruption, and consider that he ought most of all, in louelove, to beare with his wife, according to Christs example towards his Church, who gaue himselfe for it, That he might sanctifie it, & clense it, by the washing of water, through the word: That he might make Ephe. 5. 25. 26 27. 28. 29.Eph 5:25Eph 5:26it vntounto himselfe a glorious Church, not hauing spot or wrinkle, or any such thing: but that it should be holie, and without blame; so ought men to louelove their wiues as their owne bodies: he that loueth his wife, loueth himselfe. For no man yet euer hated his owne flesh, but nourisheth it, and cherisheth it, euen as the Lord doth the Church. As if the Apostle had said: The husbands dutie is, to louelove their wiues as themselues: of which louelove, the louelove of Christ towards his Church is a liuely patterne. And The husband is to the wife in Gods stead.because many husbands pretend the infirmities of their wiues, to excuse their owne hardnesse and crueltie, the Apostle willeth them to marke what manner of Church it was when Christ ioyned it to himselfe, and he doth not onelyonly not loath all her filth and vncleannesse, but ceasseth not to wipe the same a way with his cleannesse, vntill he hauehave wholly purged it, and made it holy. And seeing that eueryevery man loueth himselfe, euen of nature: Therefore (saith the Apostle) the husband shall striue against nature, if he louelove not his wife: which he proueth; first, by the mysticall knitting of Christ and the Church together, and then by the ordinance of God: who saith, that the husband and wife are one: that is, not to be diuided.

The husband is alwayes to remember, that he be not fierce, rigorous, hastie, nor disordered Husbands may … be rigorous … theirwith his wife: for then there will neuer be vnitie and concord betwixt them. If the wife do wiues, especially when they be new married. Prou. 20. 3.Prov 20:3not learne to keepe silence, and the husband to hauehave patience, it shall rather be the dwelling of fooles, then the house of friends. For where the husband wanteth wisedome to gonerne, and the wife patience to suffer, they shall be forced (it is to be feared) in continuance of time, to part house, or else eueryevery day to be iarring and brawling.

EueryEvery married man ought also to remember The wife is not to be vsed or intreated as a handmaid or seruant, but as a fellow. Prou. 8. 7. & 14 9 &. 15. 5. & 18. 2. & 27. 22. Prou 9. 9. & 19. 25. Gen 16. 6.Prov 8:7Prov 14:9Prov 15:5Prov 18:2Prov 27:22Prov 9:9Prov 19:25Gen 16:6this, that either his wife is wise and religious, or else she is foolish and irreligious. If he be matched with a wife that is sottish, foolish, and ignorant of God and his word, it will little auaile or profit him to reprehend or chide her: and if he be married to one that is wise and religious, and knoweth her dutie out of Gods word, then one sharpe and discret word is sufficient: because, if a woman be not corrected by that which is wisely and discretly said, she will neuer amend by that which is threatned. When the wise shall be inflamed with ire, wrath, malice, or enuie, the husband ought to suffer her; and after the heate is somewhat cooled, and the flame quenched, then mildly to admonish her; for if she once begin to lose her shamefastnesse in the presence of her husband, then it is likely that there wil often follow brawlings and quarrels betwixt them. And as the husband ought at all times to shun brawlings and quarrellings with his wife, so much more he ought to auoid the same, when they shall be newly married. For if at the beginning she shall hauehave cause to abhorre and hate him, then late or neuer will she returne to louelove him faithfully. Therefore at the beginning of their marriage, the wise and discret husband ought to vse all good meanes to winne the good liking of his wife towards him: for if then their louelove be fixed, and truely setled one towards the other, although afterwards they come to some houshold words and grudgings, yet it proceedeth but of some new vnkindnesse, and not of old rooted hatred; and The falling out of louers is a renewing of louelove.therefore the sooner remedied. For louelove and hatred be mortall enemies, and the first of them that taketh place in the heart, there it remaineth a dweller, for the most part, all the dayes of life: in such wise, that the first louelove may depart from the person, but yet it will neuer be forgotten at the heart. But if the wife from the beginning of marriage, do take the heart to loath and abhorre her husband, then a miserable life wil follow to them both. For although the husband shall hauehave power to force his wife to feare and obey him, yet he shall neuer hauehave strength to force her to louelove him.

Some husbands do boast themselues to be serued, feared, and obeyed in their houses, because the wife that abhorreth doth feare and serue her husband, but she that indeed liketh, doth louelove him, and cherish him. As the wife ought with great care to endeauour, and by all good meanes to labour to be in fauour and grace with her husband: so likewise the husband ought to feare to be in disgrace and disliking with his wife: for if she do once determine to fixe and settle her eyes and liking vponupon another, then many inconueniences will ensue and follow.

The husband ought not to be satisfied with the vse of his wiues body, but in that he hath also the possession of her will and affections: for it sufficeth not that they be married, but that they be well married, and liue Christianly together, and be very well contented. And therefore the husband that is not beloued of his wife, holdeth his goods in danger, his house in suspition, his credite in ballance, and also sometimes his life in perill: because it is … to beleeue that she desireth not long life vntounto her husband, with whom she passeth a time so tedious and irksome. And if any vnkindnesse or displeafure should happen to be at any time betwixt the husband and the wife, yet neither of them ought to impart, or to make it knowne vntounto any one of their neighbours: for if they be such as wish them euill, they will reioyce at it, and if they be such as wish them well, then they minister matter whereof to talke.

That husband that is matched and doth That man is miserable that is married vntounto a foolish woman.encounter with a wife that is a dizzard, a foole, a babbler, light ofbehauiour, a glutton, a chider, slothfull, a gadder abroad, vntractable, iealous, or dissolute, &c: it were better for him to be a slaue to some honest man, then a husband to such a wife.

The best rule that a man may hold and practise with his wife, to guard and gouerne her, is to admonish her often, and to giuegive her good instructions, to reprehend her seldome, neuer to lay violent hands on her, but if she be good and dutifull, to fauour her, to the end she may continue so; and if she be shrewish and way ward, mildly to suffer her, to the end that she waxe not worse. But some husbands be of so sowre a nature, and so vnpleasant in their behauiour, that they can hardly be loued, no not of their wiues; their countenance is so lowring, their company so currish, that they seeme angry, euen when they are best pleased; they cannot speake faire; scarce will they laugh, when their wiues laugh vponupon them: a man would say, they were borne in an angrie houre.

This is also a dutie (not to be forgotten,) namely, that … be diligent and carefull Husbands must prouide things necessarie for the house.to make prouision for their houses; to cloath their wiues decently, to bring vp their children vertuously; and to pay their seruants duely; because that in voluntary matters men may be A mans house will continue by prouision before hand, and by order in his expencesnegligent, but the necessities of the house do neither suffer negligence nor forgetfulnesse. The duty of the husband is to get goods: and of the wife to gather them together, and saue them. The duty of the husband is to trauell abroad 1. Tim. 5. 8.1 Tim 5:8to seeke liuing: and the wiues dutie is to keepe the house. The duty of the husband is to But where disorder is in a house, it cannot endure.get money and prouision: and of the wiues, not vainely to spend it. The dutie of the husband is to deale with many men: and of the wife to talke with few. The duty of the husband is, to be intermedling: and of the wife, to be solitarie and withdrawne. The duty of the man is, to be skilfull in talke: and of the wife to boast of silence. The duty of the husband is, to be a giuer; and of the wife to be a sauer. The duty of Spare in time, and spend in time, for sparing is a rich purse..the man is, to apparell himselfe as he may; and of the woman, as it becommeth her. The dutie of the husband is, to be Lord of all: and of the wife, to giuegive account of all. The dutie of the husband is, to dispatch all things without dore; and of the wife, to ouersee and giuegive order for all things within the house. Now, where the husband and wife performeth these duties in their house, we may call it a Colledge of quietnesse: The house wherein these are neglected, we may terme it a hell.

It is to be noted, and noted againe, that as the prouision of houshold dependeth onelyonly The honour of the husband dependeth on the wife.on the husband: euen so the honour of all dependeth onelyonly of the woman: in such sort, that there is no honour within the house, longer then a mans wife is honourable. And therefore the Apostle calleth the woman, The glorie of the man. But heere it must be noted and remembred, 1. Cor. 11. 7.1 Cor 11:7that we do not intitle honourable to such, as be onelyonly beautifull, comely of face, of gentilitie, of comely personage, and a good huswife: but onelyonly to her that is vertuous, honest of life, temperate, and aduised in her speech.

3. The last point is, that the husband louelove, The third point.cherish, and nourish his wife, euen as his owne body, and as Christ loued his Church, and gaue himselfe for it, to sanctifie it. And this point is plainely proued by the Apostle Paul, as is sufficiently declared in the second point.

There are few husbands or wiues that know in truth how they should louelove one the other. If a man louelove his wife onelyonly for these respects, because she is rich, beautifull, noble, or because she contenteth and pleaseth him after the sensuall appetite of the flesh, and for such like causes; that is no true louelove before God: for such louelove may be among harlots and whoores, yea among bruite beasts. But a Christian husband Can. 4. 9. 10. 1. Cor 9. 5. 1. Pet. 3 7.1 Cor 9:51 Pet 3:7must louelove his wife, chiefly, because she is his sister in the … of the sound and Christian religion … so an inheritour with him of the kingdome of heauen. And he must also louelove her for her vertues, as for her shamefastnesse, modestie, chastitie, diligence, patience, faithfulnesse, temperance, secrecie, obedience, and such like Christian qualities and graces of God: yea, although she be but hard fauoured, & of poore parentage.

But as we would that the man when he loueth, should remember his superioritie, so we would that when he ruleth, he neither forget to louelove, nor to temper his louelove with grauitie. And when he doth think himselfe to be the head and the soule, and the woman (as it were) the flesh and the body, he ought in like manner to remember, that she is his fellow, and companion of his goods and labours, and that their children be common betweene them, bone of the bones, and flesh of the flesh of man. And thus there shall be in wedlocke, a certaine sweet and pleasant conuersation, without the which it is no marriage, but a prison, a hatred, and a perpetuall torment of the mind. So that the husband must let his wife perceiue and know, that for the good opinion that he hath of her, he doth louelove her simply, and faithfully, and not for any vtilitie or pleasure. For who so doth not perceiue that he is beloued for his owne sake, will not lightly do the same to another: for the thing that is loued, loueth againe.

If mony or nobilitie could perceiue and vnderstand that they were beloued, they would, if they had any feeling at all of louelove, requite it with louelove: but when the soule is loued, in as much as it may louelove, it giueth louelove for louelove, and loueth againe. The breaker of horses, that doth vse to ride and pace them, doth handle the rough and sturdie colt, with all craft, rigour, and fiercenesse that may be: but with the colt that is more tractable, he taketh not so great paines. A sharpe and shrewd wife must be pleased and mitigated with louelove, and ruled with authority: and the more gently thou doest vse and shew thy selfe vntounto her that is meeke and honest, the more benigne and meeke thou shalt find her. But she that is noble, and of a stout minde and stomacke, the lesse thou doest looke to be honoured, the more she will obey and honour thee. But yet the wise husband shall neuer set himselfe so farre in louelove, that he forget that he is a man, the ruler and gouernour of the house, and ofhis wife, and that he is set (as it were) in a station to watch, and diligently to take heed what is done in his house, and to see who goeth 1. Cor. 11. 3. Ephes. 3. 23.1 Cor 11:3Eph 3:23out and in. And although the husband by Gods ordinance, be the head ouer his wife, yet he may not abuse or despise her, but most louingly defend and keepe her from all iniuries, and all euils as his owne body. For like as the head … and heareth for the whole body, ruleth and guideth the body, and giueth it strength of life: or as Christ doth defend, teach and preserue his Church, and is the Sauiour, comfort, eye, heart, wisedome, and guide thereof: euen so must the husband be head vntounto his wife, in like manner to shew her like kindnesse, and after the same fashion to guide her, and rule her with discretion, for her good and preseruation, and not with force and wilfulnesse to intreat her, but to be her defender, instructer, teacher, and comfort. So that when the husband hath obtained that his wife doth truely and heartily louelove him, there shall then need neither precepts, nor lawes: for louelove shall teach her moe things, and more effectually, then all the precepts of all the Phylosophers. He ought therefore to endeauour, and more force himselfe, that his wife may louelove him, then that she may feare him. When his wife shall offend or displease him, he may nor hate her or quarrell with her, but patiently and mildly admonish her: For no man euer hated (saith the Apostle) his owne body, but Ephes. 5. 28. 29Eph 5:28Eph 5:29cherisheth it, and maketh much of it. So then he that loueth his wife, loueth himselfe: for thereby he enioyeth peace and comfort, and helpe to himselfe in all his affaires: therefore in the same verse Paul counselleth husbands to louelove their wiues, as their bodies. And after in the 33. verse, as though it were too little to louelove them as their bodies, he saith: Let eueryevery one louelove his wife as himselfe: that is, as his body and soule too. For if God commanded men to louelove their neighbours as themselues, much more are they bound to louelove their wiues as themselues, which are their next neighbours. As Elkanah did not louelove his wife lesse for her barrennesse, but said: Am not I better vntounto thee then tenne sonnes? as 1. Sam. 1. 8.1 Sam 1:8though he fauoured her more, for that which she thought her selfe despised: so a good husband will not take occasion to louelove his wife lesse for her infirmities, but comfort her more for them, as this man did, that she may beare with his infirmities too. And so the one helping to beare the others burthen, they shall Gal. 6. 2.Gal 6:2the better fulfill the law of Christ. For as in a Citie, there is nothing more vnequall then that eueryevery man should be like equall: so it is not conuenient, that in one house eueryevery man should be like and equall together. There is no equalitie in that citie where the priuate man is equal with the Magistrate, the people with the Senate, or the seruant with the maister, but rather a confusion of all offices and authoritie.

The husband and the wife are Lords of the house: for vntounto them the Lord said, Be ye Lords ouer the fish of the sea, and ouer the fowle of the Gen. 1. 28.Gen 1:28heauen, aud ouer eueryevery beast that moueth vponupon the earth. And the selfesame Creator said, that the woman should be an helper vntounto the man. Therefore the husband without any exception, is maister Gen. 2. 18.Gen 2:18ouer all the house, and hath more to do in his house with his owne domesticall affaires, then the magistrate. The wife is ruler ouer all other things, but yet vnderunder her husband. There are certaine things in the house that onelyonly do appertaine to the authoritie of the husband, wherewith it were a reproch for the wife, without the consent of her husband, to meddle: as to receiue strangers, or to marrie her daughter. But there are other things, in the which the husband giueth ouer his right vntounto his wife: as to rule and gouerne her maidens: to see to those things that belong vntounto the kitchin, and to huswiferie, and to their houshold stuffe. Other meane things, as to buy and sell certaine necessarie things, may be ordered after the wit, wisedome, and fidelity of the woman. It cannot well be rehearsed, how many vertues & profits, the mutuall concord and louelove of man and wife doth bring to great things, both at home and abroad, nor how many losses and incommodities do grow of the dissention and discord betweene them. For the houshold, when their maister and their mistresse, or dame, are at debate, can no otherwise be in quiet and at rest, then a Citie whose rulers agree not, but when it seeth them in concord and quietnesse, then it reioyceth, trusting that they will be euen so vntounto them, as it perceiueth them to be among themselues. Wherein surely they are not deceiued, for if the man and his wife do louingly and gently support and intreate one another, they learne not to disdaine, or for eueryevery light fault to be angry with their seruants, or yet for any household words to be vexed or angrie one with the other, but they set aside all hastie and cruell words and correction, with all other things that issue and proceed of a disdainefull and a furious mind. And the seruants are not onelyonly merrie therefore, but also they do their seruice the more obediently and cheerefully, shewing reuerence vntounto the authority that proceedeth and increaseth of quietnesse and concord. For the husband doth defend his wiues estimation, with louelove and beneuolence: and the wife her husband with honour and obedience. So that vnitie and concord, causeth them to be accounted wise, honest, and vertuous; and they must needs be good, seeing they hauehave loued so long together. But there can be no long amitie or friendship, but betweene those that are good, who do suffer and deuoure vp those things for the which other men leaue and forsake amitie, and breake off charitie. Neither doth there grow of any other thing so great reuerence and honour, as of the opinion and estimation of another mans goodnesse and wisedome: the which reuerence is not onelyonly honoured within the doores, but also shineth and extendeth it selfe into the Citie; so that he is taken for an honest man, and accounted to be louing and gentle, seeing that he loueth his wife so constantly: and also he is reputed for a wise man, considering that he can so moderately … difficult and hard matters: and he is reckned worthy to rule a common-wealth, that with such wisedome, discretion, and iudgement, doth rule and gouerne his owne house; and that he may easily conserue and keepe his Citizens in peace and concord, that hath so well established the same in his owne house and family. And on the other side, none will thinke or beleeue, that he is able to be a ruler, or to keepe peace & quietnesse in the towne or Citie, who cannot liue peaceably in his owne house, where he is not onelyonly a ruler, but as it were a little King, and Lord of all. And in matrimoniall debate and discord, the man is more to be blamed then is the woman, because that he being the chiefe ruler and head, doth not purge and remedie her of that vice the which ingendred that discord, or else patiently beare and suffer the same. For the blame of all discord is commonly laid on him that is chiefe, because he would not moderate nor stay the thing to come to such a strife and discord, or else because he was not able to do it. In the first, there appeareth manifest malice, in the second impatience and weakenesse, the which ought to be farre from him that is esteemed to be most worthy, and appointed to rule and gouerne others. And thus he commeth into hatred, for as much as he hath left off to do his dutie and office, when necessitie required it. That husband that loueth not his wife after that he hath enioyed her for a season, but doth waxe feeble and cold, (which is a thing most vsuall and ordinarie with such as are kindled with bodily lust and lecherie) is a very beast and no man, hauing no reason, but is drawne to those deeds through the motion of his senses, which, after the heate is a little past, will cleane change their opinion.

Also there are other occasions, that should moue the husband to extend this louelove to his The causeswhy the husband should louelove his wife.wife, in case he be not duller then a stone. As for that his wife hath suffered so great trauel & labour, that she hath borne and brought him forth children, the heires of his name and substance, and the vpholders of his family: and that she hath forsaken her fathers goods and riches, to follow him, and to suffer with him both good and euill: and that she setting her whole mind now vponupon him, knoweth no other father nor yet any of her kin. What one thing shall suffice if these and others cannot do it? Who so will then obey nature, humanitie, and wisedome, shall eueryevery day louelove his wife more and more: and the better he knoweth her, the more he will trust her, and so open and disclose his louelove, and shew her greater signes and tokens of louelove and beneuolence, manifesting that to be borne and nourished through the experience of her vertue, and through hope to be continued and kept, that in time to come she may be like her selfe, and striue to ouercome herselfe with vertue. As the husband ought to louelove his Wife tenderly, so from her as from a The husband must louelove his wiues kinsfolkes.fountaine, he must extend his louelove also vntounto her parents and kinsfolkes, to the end that they may well know and perceiue, how greatly their cousin doth aide and helpe them, and that she in like manner may vnderstand, that his beneuolence and louelove to her is such, that it redoundeth among her friends and parents; and of this he shall receiue no little profit at home. And seeing he loueth his wiues kinsemen for her sake, how much more ought he then to louelove her children, that she in like case may louelove his, if he hauehave any? And thus the one seeing the mutuall louelove of the other, they shall knit and couple themselues in good and stedfast louelove vntounto their liues end. The duties which are to be performed of the husband and the wife, are either pertaining to pietie and godlinesse, or else mutuall seuerall duties concerning the parties themselues.

1. The first common dutie is prayer, that they pray together by themselues. For as they are to pray with others in their families for things which concerne their houshold: so there are certaine things, which belonging to themselues, are not to be mentioned in their families, but priuately; as namely, for a godly posterity, and that in the birth the childrn be comely, and not monstrous in comming forth like monsters, which might be a griefe vntounto them, or an occasion that the wicked should speake euill of the Gospell, &c. And further, they are to pray, that they may hauehave comfort by them, in their well-carriage, and good behauiour: as likewise for their houshold, and diuers other affaires, which they cannot so commodiously pray for in their publike familie. As Isaack and Rebecca, besides the prayers in their house, which they vsed with Abrahams family, did also pray together priuatly, as Gen. 25. 21. it is said, Isaack prayed before his wife: for so the words signifie, that they might hauehave children.

2. A second dutie of pietie is, that they admonish one another. As the husband is to admonish the wife, and also to teach her: so the wife is to admonish the husband; & in her place admonishing, bringing sufficient reason is to be heard. For euen as the maister is to counsell the seruant, and likewise to heare the good counsell of his seruant, as Naaman 2. King. 5. 13. 14. heard his seruant which counselled him to wash in Iordan, according to the saying of the Prophet: so in like manner the husbands duty is, to counsell and to admonish his wife: yet so, as when he faileth in duty, he is to heare her good counsell and admonition, either concerning heauenly matters, or earthly affaires, she notwithstanding considering her estate and condition vnderunder him, and in humility, confessing her selfe to be the weaker vessell. 1. Pet. 3. 7.

Their mutuall and seuerall duties pertaining to themselues, are: First, the holy familiarity which ought to be betwixt man and wife: wherby they hauehave a more familiar vsage one of another, and do more familiarly behaue themselues in a comely sort one to another, then any other parties whatsoeuer: in regard whereof, Abimelech Gen. 26. 8. 9.Gen 26:8Gen 26:9king of Gerar, after that Isaack had said of Rebecca his wife, She is my sister, seeing Isaack playing and sporting with her familiarly, knowing that familiarity which ought to be betweene the husband and the wife; and knowing that Isaack was a godly religious man, and therefore would not vse that kind of behauiour to any other woman, saue to his wife, discerned thereby, and concluded certainely, that she was his wife, howsoeuer he had denied it before. Noting, that a woman is not to be familiar after that sort with any other man, saue her husband; and contrary, that the husband ought not to vse this familiaritie with any other woman, which he doth with his wife. And therefore, Pro. 5. 19. we see that the wife should be to him, as the louing Hinde; namely delightfull, & one in whom he may delight: that as the Hart delighteth in the Hinde, so the wife should be a delight vntounto her husband; and so in like manner she ought to take delight in him.

2. Againe, there is another mutuall dutie, pertaining to themselues, to wit, that neare coniunction, euen in regard of their bodies, for an 1. Cor. 7. 4.1 Cor 7:4holy procreation of children, in respect whereof the Apostle saith, The husband hath not power ouer his owne body, but the wife &c. OnelyOnly when it is with the wife (as is common to women, Ezech. 18. 6.) or that she be sicke of her disease, he is not then to hauehave the vse of her body, &c.

Such as do aspire and purpose to enter into Duties common both to the husband & the wife. 1. Cor. 7. 2.1 Cor 7:2the holy estate of matrimony, are to beginne in prayer and holinesse to God. And hauing attained to that estate, ought to vse the benefit of marriage, as an holy ordinance of God, in all godlinesse and puritie, for a remedie against the weakenesse of the flesh, and not for the prouocation and lust to intemperancie.

True it is, that honesty of marriage grounded vponupon Gods ordinance, doth couer the shame of incontinencie; yet not so, as that married folkes should defile and pollute that holy estate, by admitting all things, but that they should so vse it, as there might be no excesse in dissolutenesse, neither any intemperancie contrarie to the holinesse thereof: So that to abuse it in lasciuious excesse, is fornication.

When God created the woman, he said: It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a Gen. 1. 18.Gen 1:18helpe meete for him; but whatsoeuer is said of the woman, that she should be an helpe to the man, must also be put in practise, and exercised by the husband to wards his wife, according to the doctrine of the Apostle Saint Paul, 1. Cor. 7. whether in auoiding fornication, whether in procuring generation, and the education and bringing vp of children; whether in maintaining a family, or for the seruice of God, and saluation of soules.

Hereby it euidently appeareth, that the dutie common both to the husband and wife, importeth, that the one should aide and helpe the other.

First, that they may leade their lines in chastitie and holinesse. Next, to auoide fornication. So that the dutie of the husband and the wife consisteth in this, that they liue together in all chastitie and purenesse, and that they take great heed and beware of breaking the bond, and infringing and violating the saith of marriage, by fornication or adulterie, which is a detestable sinne in the sight both of God and man. If such as wanting the remedy of marriage, by committing fornication, do incurre an offence worthy euerlasting damnation, what may those deserue, who hauing a remedy for their infirmity, do neuerthelesse ouerflow in adulterie? Yet it is not enough onelyonly to abstaine from this abhomination, vnlesse we also forbeare from eueryevery thing that may seeme to tend thereunto, or to continue any beginning, apparence, allurement, or occasion of euill.

First, because, that by the Law, all this is forbidden euen in these expresse words: Thou shalt not commit adultery. For the word adulterie, comprehendeth all prouocations, gestures, specches: yea, euen vnchast lookes. And therefore saith Iesus Christ: He that looketh vponupon another mans wife, to lust after her, bath alreadie committed adulterie with her in his heart. Next, that we preuent all occasions of iealousie, a most dangerous disease, and of great difficultie to cure. For where either the husband or the wife, is tainted with iealousie, they belecue eueryevery word that they heare spoken touching their passion, albeit it beare no apparence of truth. And therefore Christian husbands and wiues, must so beare themselues, that they incurre no suspition of enill: but rather they ought to practise this, as wel to auoide occasion of offence, as for feare lest iealousie should conuert marriage into a most miserable and wretched estate.

The care and burthen to maintaine their family is common to them both; yet so, as properly the husband is to get it, and to bring it in, and the wife to order and dispose it. Howbeit the dutie of the wife, or of the husband, doth not so exempt either of them. but that she also, according to her ability and power, must helpe her husband to get it, and he likewise, in his discretion, direct her in the dispensation thereof: He that doth not orderly gouerne his house, shall inherite the winde, (saith Salomon.) And order consisteth in this, that the husband follow his businesse, traffique, or calling, without any molestation of the wife, who ought not to meddle or controle him therein, but with great discretion and gentlenesse: as also the husband is not to deale but soberly, and in great discretion with affaires that are proper to the wife. The man is iealous of his authority and reputation, and the woman inclined to respect her selfe to be despised. Wherefore, as the husband cannot well abide that his wife should shew her selfe more skilfull and wise in his businesse then himselfe: so cannot the wife suffer that her husband should despise and account her a foole, by medling with her small houshold affaires.

As the dutie therefore of the husband and wife, consisteth in looking to that which is aforesaid, to the end their marriage may be quiet, & themselues liue together in louelove; euen so an idle and vnthrifty husband, and a prodigall and slothfull wife, are two ready wayes to destruction. The husband that hath such a wife, casteth his labours into a bottomles sacke, and the wife that is matched with such a husband, draweth a cart heauy loden through a sandy way without a horse.

Such a husband, especially, if idlenesse draw him to louelove and haunt ale-houses and tauernes, is cruell to his wife and children, and such a wife confounds her husband, and bringeth reproach and pouertie to her whole family. The remedy for the husband that hath such a wife, is patience, with discret admonition and prayer to God: as also the helpe for the wife that hath such a husband, is tolleration, gentle exhortation, and cheerefull and louing entertainment of her husband, whereby to enduce him willingly to keepe home.

They are also to be mutuall helpers each to other, in matters concerning their owne saluation and the seruice of God. First, if one of them (as saith the Apostle) be an vnbeleeuer, the other must labour to draw his partie to the knowledge of the truth. Saint Paul exhorting the husband and wife of contrary religions, not to part, but to dwell together; addeth a notable reason, saying: What knowest thou, ó man, 1. Cor. 7. 5.1 Cor 7:5whether thou shalt saue thy selfe: or thou ô woman, whether thou shalt saue thy husband? therein declaring, that the faithfull person in duty is to labour and endeuour to winne his party to the knowledge of truth, and so to saue her.

Saint 'Peter exhorteth wiues to be subiect to their husbands, albeit vnbeleeuers, and such as' obey not the word: that so without speech, by their holy and vertuous conuersation, they may … them.

Secondly, if both be beleeuers, their duty is, to confirme and strengthen each other in the time of persecution, that they constantly follow Iesus Christ. They are also each to helpe and comfort other, if either of them happen to fall into any fault or sinne. They ought also each to perswade other to charitie, to releeue the poore, diligently to frequent Sermons, to vse prayers and supplications, and praise and thanksgiuing to the Lord, to comfort each other in the time of affictions; to be short, either to exhort other to walke in the feare of God, and in all duties and exercises beseeming the children of God. In this manner did that holy woman Elizeus hostesse, exhort her husband to prepare a chamber for the Prophet to lodge in. Saint Paul also saith, that women desirous to learne, should question with their husbands at home. Wherby he sheweth, that the husband ought to be so instructed, as that he may be ready to instruct his wife at home. And therefore the husband (after the example of the Bee,) should eueryevery where gather eueryevery good instruction, that he might be able to impart it to his wife, and by hauing a communication, acquaint her therewith.

There are other duties which be common both to the husband and the wife, as among the rest, such as proceed of the vnion & coniunction of marriage, whereof it is said, They are one slesh: Gen. 2. 24. Matth. 19. 5.

And of this vnion proceedeth the mutuall louelove betwixt them. For no man (saith the Apostle) hateth his owne flesh, but loueth and cherisheth Ephes. 5. 15. Tit. 2. 5.Eph 5:15Titus 2:5it. But for as much as the foundation of this mutuall louelove, is the vnitie of marriage, whereby the husband and the wife are made one flesh; the husband as the head, the wife as the bodie: it followeth, that this louelove must be stedfast, not variable; and that the vnion of marriage continue notwithstanding, whatsoeuer befall either the husband or the wife.

Notwithstanding whatsoeuer complexions, (we say) natures and infirmities may appeare, whatsoeuer sicknesse, losse of goods, iniuries, griefes, or other inconueniences that may arise, yet so long as the foundation of louelove that is the vnion of marriage doth continue, so long must louelove and affection remaine. God commandeth Mat. 5. 44.Matt 5:44vsus, to louelove our neighbours as our selues, because they be of our flesh. Albeit therefore, that he contemne, hate, offend, or wrong vsus: albeit he be our enemie, and in respect of himselfe, deserueth not that we should louelove him, yet because he is of our flesh, the foundation of louelove remaining, we must louelove him.

How much rather ought they to put this in practise, who by the bond of marriage are made one flesh? the rather, because the vnion betweene man and wife, is without comparison more straite, and bindeth them each to louelove other much more then the coniunction whereby man is vnited vntounto his neighbour.

But this is the mischiefe, that in many their louelove is not grounded vponupon the vnion of marriage, but vponupon beautie, riches, and other carnall and worldly considerations, subiect to change, alteration, and losse.

This corruption that respecteth beautie, is olde, and noted to be among the causes of the floud. The sonnes of God (saith Moses) seeing the Gen. 6. 2.Gen 6:2daughters of men were faire, lusted after them, and tooke them in marriage.

But indeed it is money that maketh louelove, and riches ingender affection, witnesse the experience of our dayes. Yet such louelove resembleth onelyonly a fire of straw, which is but a blaze, and is soone out, vnlesse it be continued with great wood, or other like substance. LoueLove growing of beauty, riches, lust, or any other like slight, vncertaine, and fraile grounds, is soone lost and vanished, vnlesse it be maintained with the consideration of this vnion, of two in one flesh, and the vertues thereto adioyned: & therefore must eueryevery man thinke vponupon this vnion in marriage, that he may enioy, nourish, & continue the louelove that there of proceedeth, the rather because such louelove is the nurse of concord, that maketh marriage happy: as contrariwise, the want of this louelove, is the fountaine of strife, quarrelling, debate, and other like afflictions, that conuert the paradise of marriage into a hell. For dissention betweene man and wife, is the trouble and ouerthrow of the houshold.

They that wil auoide such strife, must therefore louelove each other: and especially they must hauehave care hereof when they are first married. For as a vessell made of two peeces, and glewed together, may at the first be easily broken, but in time groweth hard: so is it also with two persons that are glewed or ioyned together by the bond of marriage.

This louelove, the mother of peace, will ingender a care and duty each to support other, and so to practise the same, which Saint Paul requireth in all beleeuers: that is, To be gentle one to another, friendly, and each to forgiue other, euen as God hath forgiuen vsus through Christ. Let the husband think, that he hath married a daughter of Adam, and all her infirmities: and likewise let the woman thinke, that she hath not married an Angell, but a child of Adam, with his corruption. And so let them both resolue to beare that, that cannot be soon amended. Let not the body complaine of the head, albeit it hauehave but one eye, neither the head of the body, albeit it be crooked or mishapen. Such defaults do neuer breake vnion and louelove betweene the head and the body: neither must the infirmities of the husband or the wife, infringe the louelove that proceedes of the vnion and coniunction of mariage. If the husband be giuen to brawling, or the wife to chiding, let them both beware of giuing any occasion.

The bell hath a loud sound, and therefore he that will not heare it must beware how he pulleth the rope and shake it: so if the one will begin to chide without a cause, let the other be either deafe, and so not heare it, or dumbe, and so make no answer. So that where the husband is deafe, and the wife blinde, marriage is quiet and free from dissention. Whereby is meant, that the wife must winke at many infirmities of her husband, as if she saw them not, and the husband put vp many shrewde speeches of his wife, as if he heard them not. Neither can it be any reproach to the husband and wise, so stedfastly vnited, to practise this dutie, considering that Dauid protesteth, that he vsed the like patience and discretion among his enemies: They that seeke after my life lay Psal. 38. 22.Ps 38:22snares, and they that go about to do me euill, talke wicked things, and imagine deceit continually: But I as a deafe man, heard not: and am as a dumbe man which openeth not his mouth. Thus I am as a man that heareth not, and in whose mouth are no reproofes.

This vnion betweene man and wife, doth also engender that dutie which the holy Ghost noteth, saying: For this cause shall a man leaue his Mat. 19. 5. Ephes. 5. 31.Matt 19:5Eph 5:31father and mother, and cleaue to his wife. And also the wife in the like respect is bound to the like duty toward her husband. Not that marriage exempteth any from their due honour and obedience to parents, but to declare that the vnion betweene man and wife, is greater then betweene the children and the parents. And indeed, the true louelove of the husband to the wife, and the wife to the husband, surmounteth all louelove of children to their parents.

The husband and the wife hauehave their secret counsels and communication of matters concerning their profit and commodity. The wise it more obedient to her husband, and the husband more desirous to please his wife, then their Parents: yea and at length it falleth out, that they depart from their parents, to keepe house by themselues. And this plainely appeared in Lea and Rachel, being sisters, and the wiues of Gen. 31. 4. 5. &c.Gen 31:4Gen 31:5lacob. For lacob grieued at the wrong offered him by their father Laban, boldly made his moane to them.

Whereupon they also complaining of their father, agreed with lacob, and consented together, to leaue their father, and to follow their husband lacob. Herein likewise consisteth another dutie of the husband to the wife, and of the wife to the husband: namely, that they shew no greater secrecie or communication of their houshold affaires to their parents, then mutually each to other: and this rule is especially to be put in practise, when there groweth any discontent betweene themselues. For if the husband shall complaine to his parents of his wife, or the wife of her husband, such dealing might breed a most dangerous iealousie, and consequently perhaps irreconciliable dissention and strife. But if it should grow to any complaint, it were requisite, so discreetly to prosecute the matter, as that the wife should come to her husbands parents, and the husband to the wiues parents. So would all cause of iealousie ceasse, and the complaint procure most assured remedy.

This louelove and agreement in marriage produceth yet another dutie, common both to the husband and the wife. And that is, that they neuer seeke, neither once thinke of diuorce. And to that end, let them remember what is written: That which God hath ioyned together, let no man put asunder. Likewise, that nothing but adultery, Math. 19. 6.Matt 19:6may separate those that are vnited by marriage.

All other agreements and contracts, made by mutuall consent, may be broken and dissolued, by the like consent of both parties: but in the contract of marriage, Almightie God commeth in as a witnesse: yea, he receiueth the promise of both parties, as a ioyning them in that estate.

And this doth Salomon note, where he obiecteth to the harlot, that she hath forgotten Pre. 2. 27.the couenant or alliance of her God. But Malachie speaketh more plainely, and giueth a reason, why God punished such husbands as leauing their lawfull wiues tooke others: Because (saith he) the Lord hath bene witnesse betweene Mal. 2. 14.Mal 2:14thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast transgressed, yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy couenant. The promise therefore to God cannot be broken, but onelyonly by his authoritie.

In the dayes of Moses, husbands were easily and soone intreated to sorsake their wiues, by giuing them a bill of diuorce: yet so farre was this course from being lawfull, that contrarywise Iesus Christ saith, that it was tolerated only Mat. 19.Matt 19in respect of the hardnesse of husbands hearts, who otherwise would hauehave vexed their wiues, and intreated them cruelly.

And this libell containing the cause of diuorce, and putting away of the woman, did iustifie her, and condemne the man. For seeing it was neuer giuen in case of adulterie, (which was punished with death) all other causes alledged in the libell, tended to iustifie the woman, and declare that she was wrongfully diuourced, and so condemned the husband, as one that Leuit. 20. 10. Ioh. 8. 5.Lev 20:10John 8:5contraryed the first institution of marriage; whereto Iesus Christ condemning this corruption, doth returne them, saying: It was not so from Mat. 19. 8.Matt 19:8the beginning: And therefore, Whosoeuer shall put away his wife, except it be for whoredome, and marrieth another, committeth adulterie, and whosoeuer marrieth her which is diuorced, doth commit adulterie with her; So straight is the bond of marriage.

Here of it followeth, that notwithstanding whatsoeuer difficulties may arise betweene the husband and the wife, whether it be long, tedious, and incurable sicknesse of either party: whether naturall and contrary humours, that breed debate, wrangling, or …, about household affaires: whether it be any vice, as if the husband be a drunkard, or the wife a slothfull, idle, or … housewife: whether either party forsake the truth, and profession of religion, and do fall to idolatrie or heresie: yet still the bond of marriage remaineth stedfast, and not to be dissolued. Neither may they be separated, euen by their owne mutuall consent: for as the holy Ghost hath pronounced: That which God hath ioyned together, let no man put asunder. Mat. 19. 6. 1. Cor. 7. 12.Matt 19:61 Cor 7:12And therefore Saint Paul saith, If any brother hath a wife that beleeueth not; if she be content to dwell with him; let him not forsake her: and the woman which hath an husband that beleeueth not, if he can be content to dwell with her, let her not for sake him. And because some did suppose, that the vnbeleefe in anie of the parties might breed some pollution in their marriage, and make it prophane and vnchristian, he answereth no.

His reason is, For the vnbeleeuing husband is sanctified by his beleeuing wife; and the vnbeleeuing wife, by her beleeuing husband. And this he proueth, by affirming that the childrēissuing of such marriage be holy; that is to say, partakers of the couenant of God, and consequently, accepted into the fellowship of the Church. OnelyOnly he addeth this exception: If the vnbeleeuing man depart, and for sake the beleeuing wife, she is not subiect to follow him.

And yet must this be vnderstood, where such departure ariseth either vponupon hatred that he beareth to the true religion that bis wife prosesseth, or vponupon a desire to vse his polluted and false religion. For therein cannot his wife follow him without danger of defiling, and depriuing her selfe of the profession of the truth; together with the food of her soule.

Likewise, where Saint Paul speaking of the husband and wife, both beleeuers, saith: If the 1 Cor. 7. 11.1 Cor 7:11woman depart from her husband, let her remaine vnmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: he therein meaneth not, that it shall be lawfull for the woman, because she cannot beare the troublesome nature of her husband, or to auoyde strife and debate, to depart, and liue as a widdow; but onelyonly he …, that when the husband vponupon such like occasion, shall put away, or cast off his wife, yet is not she at her libertie to marry another, but must remaine vnmarried, and labour to be reconciled.

And therefore those women, which vponupon the hard dealing, or troublesome disposition of their husbands, do for sake them, are greatly to be reproued, as thereby giuing occasion of great mischiefe and trouble: as also are those husbands, who vponupon like occasion do forsake their wiues. For seeing nothing may make diuorce but adultery, eueryevery purpose and determination to part vponupon any other occasion or reason, is restrained by Gods ordinance and the law of marriage.

And … as it is not lawfull for vsus to continue in such desperation the whole course of our liues, neither is it lawfull so to abide at all, or so much as enter thereinto: if therefore, vponupon such occasion the husband forsake his wife, or the wife her husband; rather then to continue the mischiefe begun, let them returne together againe, and thinke that the shortest follies do least hurt.

If they alledge their intreaty, in their opinion intollerable, and their nature so contrary, Obiection.that they cannot liue without strife and debate: and that being asunder, and quiet in conscience, free from trouble, they may the better apply themselues and employ their time in prayer: the answer is that such … must not dissolue, Answer.or breake the bond of marriage, and their duties to liue together: but let them thinke that God hath called them to the exercise of patience, which vponupon hearty prayer he will grant to them: Let them labour to beare each with other, that they may liue in peace; and continually pray to God to giuegive them grace so to do.

Let them remember, that the diuell transformeth himselfe into an Angell of light, when by propounding a desire to liue in quiet, and consequently a meane to pray vntounto God; for the compassing thereof, he induceth them to gainesay Gods prohibition, and also to separate that which God hath ioyned together. For as the coniunction commeth of God, so the separation and diuorce proceedeth from the diuell.

If they reply, that by liuing asunder, so that they marry not againe, they breake not the bond of marriage; let them remember, that marriage being ordained for a remedie against fornication, for the generation and bringing vp of children, and also for an helpe each to other in mutuall societie, and inseparable conuersation oflife, yet doth there appeare no token or effect of marriage in those that liue asunder, albeit they marry not againe.

So that the benefit of marriage consisteth not onelyonly in the procreation of children, but also in the mutuall societie of the two diuerse Sexes. Otherwise it could not be said, that there were any marriage betweene two old folkes.

This vnion of marriage, yet teacheth vsus another duty, common both to the man and to the wife, which is, that their goods be common betweene them. That Common-wealth may in some sort be said to be happy, where they hauehave no vse of these words: Mine and thine; but in marriage especially they ought not to be heard. If the wife hauehave brought most goods in marriage, the marriage once consummate and made, her part is gone, and they are gone, and they are made common: as also are the debtes, whether hers or her husbands. And therefore can neither of them say, this is mine; but this is ours. When a woman hath brought great goods, yet may she not say, I will do with mine owne what I list: for she her selfe is not her owne, but her husbands.

The husband (as the head and chiefe guide of the family,) must hauehave the custody and chiese gouernment of the goods in the house, yet may he discharge himselfe of the whole, or of part, as himselfe shall thinke meete and conuenient.

Yet let him remember, that he intreate her not as a seruant, by giuing her money as it were in mistrust, or with condition to returne him a particular account: for the husbands mistrust doth many times prouoke the woman; and the wiues vaine expence breedeth mistrust in the husband. But the faithfull and discret employment and good vsage of the wife, and her husbands confidence in her, will procure, that as the goods be common to both, so each alike shall vndertake the custody and employment of the same. Hereunto for a conclusion of this point, we will yet adde two duties, common both to the husband and the wife.

The first, that they daily pray to God to giuegive them grace to liue together in peace and louelove, and that each may be an helpe to others saluation. Let all such as desire to enioy such a selicitie, vnderstand, that they must daily pray to God for the obtaining thereof. And let those that liue in strife and debate, examine themselues whether they hauehave no cause to impute their miserable estate to their neglect of this duty.

The second, consisteth in the practise of the same: which Saint Paul teacheth, saying: Let 1. Cor. 7. 29.1 Cor 7:29those that be married, be as if they were not married. But how? by so enioying the commodity and contentation of marriage, that the benefit of their coniunction breed no diuorce betweene God and them.

Likewise, that thereby they be not hindered, or made slacke in any duty towards God, and their neighbours; as also, that no affliction (depending or proceeding of marriage) withdraw them, or force them to resolue any thing contrary to the vnion of marriage, and these Christian profession that they be the children of God.

The particular duties of the husband toward the wife, are first, to protect her, to hauehave regard and care ouer her, &c. Ruth 3. 9. Secondly, that he vnfainedly louelove her, out of which fountaine springeth this dutie, that he must beare with her infirmities, and not by and by, to enter into bitternesse and wrath: Colossions 3. 16. To the same end Saint Peter exhorting husbands to behaue themselues discreetly, 1. Pet. 3. 7.1 Pet 3:7and with knowledge and wisedome toward their wiues, he requireth of them two things.

First, that they neuer say nor do any thing that may iustly offend their wiues, as some there be, who being prodigall, great spenders, or idle and slacke in their businesse, do cause their wiues and children to languish in pouertie: Others, who haunting tauernes, ale-houses, and gaming, do consume and wast that which should maintaine their family: Others who comming home drunke, do beate and vexe their wiues, and as it were driue them into dispaire: Others, who by vile and bitter speeches, by threatnings, and other vnchristian actions, vnworthy a husband, do prouoke their wiues; and so stirre vp such strife and debate, as do conuert the comfort of marriage into an hell. Seeing therefore, that the husband is head, he ought in such wisedome, reason and discretion to beare himselfe, that he giuegive his wife no iust occasion of offence, or prouocation: yet he must remember, that if the head be drunke, the whole body is in danger of weake gouernment, euen oflying in the mire.

Secondly, that albeit the wife should minister iust cause of griefe and displeasure, yet that the husband should not thereof take occasion against his wiues infirmities; or enter into bitternesse, taunts, or disquietnesse: but discreetly, and patiently beare with her; that so they may quietly and louingly liue together.

The hurt or weaknesse of any one member of the body, prouoketh not the head to wrath or bitternesse, but rather to compassion, and an inclination to helpe it. And indeede, whereas God hauing created the woman the weaker vessell (as Saint Peter noteth,) and did so ioyne her to man, it was not to the end that he striuing with so fraile a vessell, should bruise and breake it, but that by gentle and discreet intreating, he should quietly enioy the help that God hath giuen him.

Let him therefore after the counsell of Saint Peter, so respect her, as one, who albeit she be 1. Pet. 3. 7.1 Pet 3:7weake, is neuerthelesse a profitable vessell for him.

Moreouer, let him louelove and honour her, as one, whom (notwithstanding the frailtie of her Sexe) God hath so honoured, and Iesus Christ so loued, that being together with man redeemed with his bloud, she is, together with her husband, co-heire of life euerlasting.

A chrystall glasse, is a precious and profitable vessell, yet brittle: so is the married woman. But albeit she be brittle, yet is she profitable to her husband, and precious in the sight of God, as a child of God, and member of Christ. As therefore a man doth more carefully take heed ofbreaking such a glasse, then some earthen or tinne vessell, the one being more base, and the other more strong: so likewise should the husband hauehave such regard of the frailtie of his wife, that he may beare with her, and intreate her with gentlenesse and discretion, that he may vse her as a precious and profitable vessell, to his comfort and ioy. And in as much as prayer is an excellent seruice that God requireth of vsus, and the ready meanes to purchase his blessings, let the husband discretly beare with his wife, lest otherwise through their strife and contention, their prayers (as Saint Peter saith) be letted and interrupted, 1. Pet. 3. 7.

Yet must we not say, but the husband both may and ought to tell his wife of her infirmities, that she may amend. But here we are to enter into consideration of sundrie points.

First, he is especially to reproue her offences against God: as when Rachel said vntounto Iacob: GiueGive me children, or else I die: he reproued Gen. 30. 1.Gen 30:1her of impoitunitie, saying: Am I in Gods stead, who hath withholden from thee the fruit of thy wombe? Also when Iobs wife said to her husband: Doest thou abide in thy integritie? Curse God and die: he wisely reproued such a wicked speech, saying: Thou speakest as an vnwise woman. What? shall we receiue good at the hand of God, and not receiue euill?

Secondly, that it be with gentlenesse and testimonie of good will: as Elkanah dealt with his wife Hanna, when she mourned because she 1. Sam. 1.1 Sam 1had no children. And indeed it is meete that the husband should reproue his wife louingly, rather by perswasion then by force. For as in a great stormie winde, a man lappeth his cloake about him, and holdeth it fast for feare oflosing it, but when the winde is downe, and the weather calme, he letteth it hang easily: so, when husbands will (as it were) perforce wrest away their wiues infirmities, many of them will obstinately resist; yet contrariwise, by sweete wordes and louing exhortations, they might be wonne voluntarily to forsake them.

Thirdly, the husband must seeke diligently to remoue the occasion and stone whereat his wife stumbleth, and taketh occasion of griefe. So when Sarah was moued against Abraham because of Agar, and obiected Gen. 16.Gen 16vntounto him, albeit wrongfully, that he was the eause that she contemned her: bearing with his wife, … remoued the cause of the contentation, in suffering her to turne Agar out of doores.

He must also take heed, that he himselfe be not tainted with the same vice which he reproueth in his wife, lest she stop his mouth with a reproach of the same fault: but rather by giuing her example by the contrarie vertue, let her be induced and led to follow him. In reprouing the wife, the husband must alwayes vse such discretion, that she be not brought into contempt: and therefore it should neuer be done in the presence of moe then themselues. For as it is meere follie for an husband to praise and commend his wife in company: so is it as dangerous to checke and reproue her before witnesse. For indeed thereof it commeth, that women, not being able to beare that disgrace, will reply, and so ptouoke strife and dissention in open presence, which will redound to great reproach and offence. And therefore, as the husband must not flatter his wife, so he must not reproue her before strangers. A wise husband, and one that seeketh to liue in quiet with his wife, must obserue these three rules: Often to admonish: seldome to reproue: and neuer to smite her.

Let the husband also remember, that the infirmities of his wife, must be either taken away, or borne witball. So that he that can take them quite away, maketh his wife farre more commodious and fit for his purpose: and he that can beare with them, maketh himselfe better, and more vertuous.

The husband is also to vnderstand, that as God created the woman, not the head, and so equall in authoritie with her husband: so also he created her not of Adams foote, that she should be troden downe and despised; but he tooke her out of the rib, that she might walke ioyntly with him, vnderunder the conduct and gouernment of her head.

And in that respect, the husband is not to command his wife in such manner as the maister his seruant, but as the soule doth the body, as being conioyned in like affection and good wil. For as the soule in gouerning the body, tendeth to the benefit and commoditie of the same: so ought the dominion and commandement of the husband ouer his wife, to tend to reioyce and content her.

To conclude, as God hath testified his singular goodnesse vntounto man, in creating him an helper to assist him: so let him consider in how many sorts she is to him an helper, to passe ouer this life in blessednesse. And let this daily seeking of such a benefit receiued at the hands of God, induce and stirre him vp to render thanks, and to dispose himselfe to vse it well, to his owne comfort and saluation: and not to abuse it, to the destruction both of himselfe and his wife.

But if he chance (as many do) vponupon troubles and afflictions in marriage, let him remember, that the same doth proceed, not properly from marriage, but from the corruption of the parties married: and for his part, let him studie to amend his infirmities and faults, by amendment of life: and withall, pray to God to grant the like grace vntounto his wife; to the end that the more they recouer the Image of God, the more feeling they may hauehave of the felicitie of marriage, which Adam and Eue had enioyed, had they continued as they were created in the Image of God. And the particular duties of the wife to the husband, are principally these:

First, that she be a helper vntounto him.

Secondly, that she be obedient vntounto him, &c. These speciall duties are partly touched before, and partly afterwards.

As louelove matrimoniall is greatly allowed of God, and much commended of all good men, as an ordinate, holy, and godly louelove: so contrariwise hatred, dissention, strife, debate, vnquietnesse and frowardnesse in marriage, highly displeaseth God, and much grieueth all good and godly men.

And therefore the diuell, the enemie of all vnitie, concord and agreement, laboureth by all meanes he can (specially at the first comming of the married folkes to dwell together) to sow dissention and discord, and to cause them not to agree, but to dislike one of the other; against whom they must diligently watch, by seruent and earnest prayer to God, that the diuel preuaile not against them, by such too early disagreement. For as two boords, if at the first they be not well coupled and ioyned together, are neuer fastened right afterwards, but if the first coupling and ioyning together be good, then can there afterward no violence driue the boordes asunder: yea, the whole boord doth sooner breake, then the glewing of them together: euen so, the husband and wife must be very carefull and diligent, that their first cohabitation and dwelling together be louing, delectable, and friendly, and not separated through any The best pollicie in marriage, is to begin well.spitefull contention or discord, so shall the whole estate of their marriage be more comfortable, and prosper the better so long as they shall liue.

And though there happen to arise any sparke of discord betwixt them, yet let them beware that at the last there be not too much displeasure, disdaine, and inconuenience kindled thereby.

For, if at the first dwelling together there shall fall out such vntounto wardnesse, and vncomely discord, then will it now and then be breaking out. Euen as it fareth with great wounds, and broken legges or armes, which seldome are so throughly healed, but sometimes they hauehave paine at the change of the weather: so likewise, if married folkes behaue themselues thus vntowardly and vnhonestly, the one towards the other at the first, and if larres and discord be once begun betweene them, the old canker of hatred will breede againe, though it be scaled afterward. Let the one therefore learne betime to be acquainted with the nature and condition of the other, and to apply themselues according to the same, in as much as they must needs dwell together, one to enioy another, and the one to liue and die with the other, and so stedfastly and vnfainedly to louelove one the other, that neither of them hauehave any thing so deare, which they cannot be content to giuegive and bestow one vponupon the other: yea euen their owne life if need require.

And therefore husbands and wiues must euen at the beginning of their marriage, giuegive their diligence, that all iniuries & offences may be auoided, for tender and lost louelove is soone dissolued and broken.

So that this new louelove and coniunction of the mind, must be nourished, with benigne, sweete, and gentle conuersation, vntill it be so increased and fastened, that no great storme be able to dissolue and breake it. And all suspition must be at all times, but especially at the beginning of matrimony, eschewed and shunned, lest they should first begin to hate, or euer they begin to louelove: yea, and they must beware they do not faine any suspition, nor conceiue it of any light occasions and coniectures; for vntounto such they in no wise must giuegive eare, although there were some shew and great apparence of likelyhood.

And this will be a good meanes to effect and worke this; namely, if they … themselues to speake kindly and cheerefully one to the other. For as the ancient Counsellors of King Salomon, gaue wise aduise and counsell vntounto Rehoboam King ofIsraell, to the end that he 1. King. 12. 7. 8. &c.1 Kgs 12:71 Kgs 12:8might winne the louelove and good liking of the people: Speake kindly vntounto them (said they) and they will serue thee for euer after; which counsell not being followed, great inconuenience and mischiefe after befell vntounto him. Euen so likewise if the husband be … to procure the louelove ofhis wife, and to winne her to God; or if the wife be desirous, and would also procure the louelove of her husband, and winne him to God, then they must draw on one another with sweet and gentle words ofloue, speaking kindly one Iudg. 19. 3.Judg 19:3to another; because gentle words do pacifie anger, as water quencheth fire. But if they shall Prou. 15. 1.Prov 15:1vse taunts or words of reproach and despite one against another, much hurt then may ensue thereof: For a little leauen sowreth the whole Gal 5. 9.Gal 5:9lumpe. And therefore let them vse to giuegive one to the other, their dutifull names and titles, and to eschue and shunne the contrary. For example, like as the spitefull Iewes, which hated the Lord Iesus, would not vouchsafe to giuegive him his name when they talked of him, or with him, but to shew their vtter dislike of him, they vsed to say; Is this he? or, Art thou he that will do such a thing? Is not this he? &c. Againe, Whither will he go, that we shall not finde him? they would not say, Is not this Iesus Christ? or the Sonne of God? but they vsed a most despitefull kind of speaking, which did bewray abundance of malice that was hidden in their hearts; euen so it sometimes falleth out betwixt the husband and the wife, betwixt the father and the sonne, betwixt the maister and the seruant, &c. that they could speake dutifully one to another, but contempt, and disdaine, anger and malice, will not suffer the one to affoord vntounto the other their due names and titles, lest they should be put in minde of those duties, which those names require. Whereout Sathan sucketh no small aduantage, whereas many times the very name of husband, or wife, father, or sonne, maister, or seruant, &c. doth greatly helpe to perswade the minde, and to winne the affection; yea, the very mentioning of these names, doth oftentimes leaue a print of duty behind in the conscience.

Husbands must not forget this point; namely, that it is not sufficient for them to declare and outwardly make a shew of a good life, in words and precepts onelyonly, but also in life and deed: So that two things are very necessary for them to rule withall: to wit, wisedome and example, and that they themselues fulfill the thing that they command to be done. The life and outward conuersation of a man, whether it be good or euill, doth not onelyonly perswade, but also constraine and enforce. We do see how mighty and auaileable, this, or the like exhortation of a Captaine is in the time of warre and battell; Oh my souldiers, do that ye shall see me do: the which contempt of death in the Captaine, doth so creepe through the whole host, that there is not one, be he neuer so feeble and weake-hearted, that doth esteeme his life, for the which he perceiueth that his Captaine careth so little. Thus did Christ, with his Apostles and Martyrs, draw the world vntounto the Christian faith: Leuit. 11. 44. and 19. 2. and 20. 7. and 21. 8. Ioh. 13. 15. Phil. 3. 17. 1. Tim. 1. 16. 2. Thessal. 3. 9. For, as they liued, so they spake, and as they spake, so they liued.

Therefore if the husband would hauehave his wife to be temperate, quiet, chast, painfull in her calling, religious, &c. then he must be carefull that he be not distemperate, vnquiet, no whoremonger, nor carelesse in his calling, nor irreligious, &c. So that if he command any thing to be done, he must looke that he deny not to do the same himselfe, and so shall his wife and family obey the same, and be the more readie, and willing to do it, being both honest and lawfull to be done.

The very name of a wife, is like the Angell which stayed Abrahams hand when the stroke Gen. 22. 11.Gen 22:11was comming. If Dauid, because he could not expresse the commoditie and comfort of vnitie and brotherly louelove, was faine to say: Oh how good and ioyfull a thing it is, for brethren to Psal. 133. 1.Ps 133:1dwell together in vnitie! Then let husbands weigh and consider, how harsh and bitter a thing it is, for them and their wiues to dwell together in enmitie and strife. For the first yeare after marriage, God would not hauehave the husband go to warre with his enemies, to the end that he and his wife might learne to know one anothers Leuit. 24. 5.Lev 24:5conditions and qualities, and so afterwards liue in godly peace, & not warre one with another: and therefore God gaue a law, and appointed that the new married husband that yeare should stay at home, and settle his louelove, that he might not warre and iarre after: for the God of peace dwelleth not in the house of warre. As a kingdome cannot stand if it be diuided; so an house Mat. 12. 25.Matt 12:25cannot stand if it be diuided: for strife is like a fire, which leaues nothing but dust, smoke, and ashes behind it. We reade in the Scriptures, of maisters that strooke their seruants, but neuer of any that strooke his wife, but rebuked her. Lot was drunk when he lay with his daughters Gen. 19. 33.Gen 19:33in stead of a wife: and so is he which striketh his wife in stead of his seruants. The law sheweth how a bondman should be corrected: the wife is like a Iudge, which is ioyned in commission with her husband to correct other. Wilt thou strike one in his owne house? no more shouldst thou strike thy wife in her house. She is come to thee as to a Sanctuary, to defend her from hurt: and canst thou hurt her thy selfe? Therefore Abraham said to Lot; Are we Gen. 18. 3.Gen 18:3not brethren? that is, May brethren iarre? But they may say, are we not one, can one chide with himselfe? can one fight with himselfe? He is a bad host that welcomes his guest with stripes. Doth a King trample on his crowne? Salomon calleth the wife, The crowne of her husband. Therefore Pro. 12. 4.Prov 12:4he which woundeth her, woundeth his owne honour: She is a free Citizen in thine house, and hath taken the peace of thee the first day of her marriage, to hold thy hands till she release thee againe. Adam saith of his spouse, This is flesh of my flesh. But no man (saith Paul) euer Gen. 2. 23. Ephes. 5. 29.Gen 2:23Eph 5:29hated his owne flesh. So then, if a man aske whether he might strike his wife? God saith, nay: thou mayest not hate thy wife: For no man hateth his owne flesh; shewing that he should not come neare blowes, but thinke his wrath too much.

Some husbands are wont to say, that they will rule their wiues whatsoeuer they be, or howsoeuer they came by them, and that it is in the hand and power of the husband, what, and of what qualities and conditions she shall be. True it is, that a great part of this doth rest and lie in the husband, so that he vnderstand as he ought to do, that marriage is the supreme and most excellent part of all amitie and friendship: and that it farre differeth from tyranny, the which doth compell men to obey. Truly it may force the bodie, but not the will, in the which all louelove and amitie doth consist and stand: the which if it be drawne and forced, doth resist and bow like a Palme tree to the contrary part. And the husband may assure himselfe, that there cannot be any quiet marriage or vnitie, where he and his wife do not agree in will and minde: the which two, are the beginning and seate of all amitie and friendship. And such husbands as do bragge, and thinke themselues able to rule and ouer rule their wiues, by that time they hauehave proceeded and gone a little further, they shall well feele and perceiue themselues to be beguiled, and finde that thing to be most hard and intricate, the which to be done, they esteemed most light and easie.

Some husbands there be, that through euill and rough handling, and in threatning of their wiues, hauehave and vse them not as wiues, but as their seruants And yet surely they are but very fooles, that iudge and thinke matrimony to be a dominion. For such as would be feared, do afterwards pitiously lament and complaine, that they can find no louelove in their wiues, whose louelove and amity through their owne crueltie and hard dealing, they hauehave turned into hatred. And whereas at the beginning, they gloried and cracked thus cruelly that they were their wiues maisters, they hauehave now purchased vntounto themselues a most miserable and lamentable life in time to come; all louelove and pleasure being now cast aside, and compassed with feare and suspition, hatred and sorrow.

Surely, if a husband (as nature, reason, and the holy Scriptures do witnesse) be the head ouer his wife, and God their Father, there ought to be betweene them such society and fellowship, yea and greater, then is betweene the father and the sonne; and not such as is betweene the maister and the seruant.

And amongst many reasons that may be vsed, to perswade the husband and wife to liue together, louingly, quietly, and Christianly, this is not the least; namely, that neither of them is certaine how long they shall liue together: & then the partie that ouer-liueth, and purposeth to marrie againe, hauing bene churlish, froward, &c. with his former wife; or she with her first husband: their so hard dealing one with the other before, being knowne, will (no doubt) be an occasion that they shall not speed, and match so well as otherwise they might, if they had behaued themselues peaceablie and dutifully in their first marriage.