A Gospel Glass, Treatise · Chapter 30
CHAP. XXX. The miſcarriages of Profeſsing-Parents and Children.
PArents, As Parents.O! how little do you plot for the good of future generations? how little do you care whether God hath a Name when you be dead and gone, that Chriſt ſurvive, and holineſs flouriſh, when you ſhall be rotten in your graves? O! 'tis through your default, that the name of Chriſt is not had in everlaſting remembrance: if you were faithfull, how would the generations to come bleſs the Lord in your behalf? If you were active and diligent, you might convey holineſs down to your poſterity, as you have been unhappy inſtruments to convey down a ſtock of ſinne, you have been inſtruments to convey down the curſe; but are not you careleſs to convey down grace? The World would ſoon me…, the Church of Chriſt would ſoon regain its antient luſtre and beauty, if ye did but faithfully diſcharge your duties to your Children: you might ſuffer little Children to come to Chriſt, yea you might fill the Kingdom of Heaven; but do not you rather fill the Kingdom of Hell? And as Jereboam made Iſrael to ſin, do not you inſtead of leading them the way to Heaven, lead them the way to Hell? O! conſider ſeriouſly and ſadly how farr you are guilty with reſpect to the Souls of your Children.
1. By giving them bad examples. Giving their Children bad examples.Chams not covering his Fathers nakedneſs was a ſin conveyed down to all his race, and therefore God chargeth the Church of the Jews againſt that ſin, under the expreſſions of walking in the manners of the Nations. Levit. 20.11. & 23. compar.Ye ſhall not walk in the manners of the Nations; which I caſt out before you; for they committed all theſe things. Your pride, ſenſuality, careleſneſs in the worſhip of God, your paſſions towards your Wives, and Wives towards their Husbands, your frowardneſs toward ſervants, &c. teach your Children ſo to carry themſelves towards others. One check't his Son, and ſaid, never Parent had ſo wicked a Child; yes (ſaid the Son) My Grandfather had.
2. Cockering them in ſin.By humouring and cockering your Children in their Sins: Teaching them early to be proud of their fine clothes; and to revenge, Come, give me a blow, ſaith the Mother to the Child; whilſt it ſits on her lap. By indulging to his voluptuous courſe of life, it is thought Iſaack ſmarted in his Son's future diſobedience, even by ſuffering him to ſport and hunt away too much of precious time. Many, like Apes, kill their Children with culling them. Auſtin tells a ſad Story of one Cyrillus, who loved an only Son immoderately, and let him do (without correction) what he would: afterwards this cockered Son, in a fit of drunkenneſs, offers violence to his Mother, killed his Father, wounded mortally two of his Siſters, and would have raviſhed another. Through fooliſh pity, Parents, eſpecially Mothers, give the reines unto their Children, when they are young, and thereby they grow headſtrong, Prov. 29.15.and are a ſhame to the Mother that bore them. The ſparing of the Rod is the ruine of the Child. Do not you reprove your Children, as old fond Eli did? Thereby he brought a plague upon himſelf and upon his poſterity. What ſaith one? never ceaſe convincing or correcting till thou haſt ſubdued the ſpirit of thy Child, if he contends with thee. You pretend ſuch harſhneſs is inconſiſtent with love; but I ſay from the Lord, ſuch fondneſs and indulgence is conſiſtant with hatred; and I am ſure the Lord is on my ſide, in this. Prov. 13.24.He that ſpareth his rod hateth his Son, he that loveth him chaſteneth him betimes. Is it love to ſuffer a wound in thy Child to feſter (and thereby to deſtroy him) rather than to apply a painful corroſive for the expediting the cure? But what ſaith the fond Mother? O! If the Child ſhould be the worſe for my correction, it would be a trouble to me whilſt I live. O that ſuch a doting Mother would hear the Lord himſelf! Correct thy Son, Prov. 29.17. Prov. 23.13.and he ſhall give thee reſt, yea he ſhall give delight to thy Soul. With hold not correction from the Child: for if thou beateſt him with the Rod, he ſhall not dye. Foolishneſs is bound in the heart of a Child, Prov. 22.15.but the rod of correction shall drive it farr from him.
3. By not acquainting them with the Lord, Not inſtructing them.and his wayes, and that betimes. Hath not God commanded, that his Laws ſhould be whetted by you, upon your Children? Deut. 6.7.Thou shalt teach them diligently (Hebr. whet or ſharpen) unto thy Children, and shalt talk of them when thou ſitteſt in thine houſe, and when thou walkeſt by the way, and when thou lyeſt down; and when thou riſeſt up. Some conceive, that Catethiling of Children is not obſcurely hinted in this ancient Precept. And is not Child-hood and Youth the time, wherein Solomon adviſeth the Children of men ſhould be trained up in the way wherein they should goe? O Parents! Prov. 22.6.If God be worth your own acquaintance, is he not worth the acquaintance of ſuch as are ſo near and dear unto you? Can you without trembling think, that as ſoon as Death breaks up your houſe, you may to Heaven, and your Children muſt to Hell, and thither through your default? But if you ſhould dye in this neglect of inſtructing your Children, you will be miſerable as well as they: And O! What a greeting will there be hereafter between ungodly Parents and Children? What an hearing will it be to your tormented Souls, to hear your Children cry out againſt you, All this that we ſuffer was long of you, you should have taught us better, and did not: What an addition will ſuch out-cries be to your miſery?
4. Suffering Children to fall out with one another.By not redreſsing the diſorderly carriages of your Children towards one another. How few Reboccah's are there? She was carefull to remove jars and miſchiefs that might ariſe between her two Sons.
5. Not praying for …hem.By not praying for your Childrens Souls, and againſt thoſe very particulars, which their natural conſtitution leads them moſtly to.
6. Not correcting aright.By not correcting them aright: as to time, not early enough; He that loveth him correcteth him betimes: not, whilſt the fault is freſh in his thoughts, with all the aggravating circumſtances thereof; Not, with compaſſion enough. You have reaſon (ſaith Mr Dod) to be angry with your ſelves, rather than to be bitter to your Children; for you correct your own ſin in your Children. If the Child be curſt and froward, hath he not ſeen his Parent brawling and contentious, &c? not ushering correction with Prayer, that God would bleſs word and rod. Commonly Parents correct in an high paſſion, whereby Prayer is hindered, and the Medicine becomes invalid.
7. Being over-angryBy being angry without a cauſe, or above the deſert. Anger muſt be let out according to the nature of the offence. If Parents be always chiding or correcting, they make their Children reſolute, like Hagar and Iſmaei, to take up their heels, and into the Wilderneſs will they, any where to be delivered from ſuch hard uſages. Provoke not your Children to wrath. Eph. 6.4Some Parents want natural affections: are too ſevere; Correction like Phyſick, if too frequent, will work no more with Children, than our meat with us.
8. By loving your Children more than God, Loving inordinately.loving them as they are yours, not as they are Gods, as they bare your Image, not Gods, for their beauty and parts, rather than for their graces; loving a beautifull Child; that is voyd of grace, more than a deformed Child, though eminent in grace, loving one exceſſively, as Jacob, Joſeph, hence Joſeph is envyed by the reſt: prodigal favours to ſome, eſpecially if without reaſon, are offenſive to others, who are leſs reſpected: Loving ſo, as loth to let them go when God calls for them, you cannot ſay as Eli, it is the Lord, 1 Sam. 3.18.let him do as ſeems him good. God pulls and you pull, and you quarrel with God about the goard, and you think you do well to be angry. Job bleſſed God, when God took all away at once by one blow.
9. Not providing callings for them, or not the beſt.By not devoting them to ſome honeſt calling, but letting them live in idleneneſs, and ſo they grow up monuments of your neglect. Some Gentlemen train up their Children to hold an Hawk, to follow a Dog, and commonly they dye in an Alehouſe, or ſhorten their lives thereby. But if you do provide a calling for your Children, is it not what is moſt gainfull, rather than what will be moſt uſefull to the good of the Soul? Had you not rather have them rich Factours among Idolaters (where they learn the manners of the Heathens) then to have a meaner calling at home, where the Goſpel is preached in power and purity?
10. Not matching them aright.By not matching them to godly perſons, but rather to the rich: Hereby ye ſhew that the ſilver ſhrines are in higher repute than grace and Godlineſs.
11. Giving away all to them.By giving all to your Children, though the Church of God hath more need of it. Hereby you evidence that you prefer not Zion before your chiefeſt joy: that you love the outward grandeur of your Children more than the proſperity of the Church. It is a wonder (ſaith Mr. Baxter) how ſo many ſeemingly holy, can quiet their Conſciences in ſuch a ſin as this is? If one of you have two or three hundred pounds per annum, it is a wonder if you leave an hundred pounds a year of it to pious or charitable uſes. Nay do not Parents leave all to their Children, when they have apparent proofs that they will ſpend it in the ſervice of Hell? O! Let Parents tremble. What wilt thou inable and ſtrengthen thy Children to rebell againſt God? put fuell to the fire? put ſwords into their hands to ſight againſt the moſt high?
Parents I beſeech you look diligently to your duties, be humbled for theſe and ſuch like miſcarriages. O! look about you, and you will ſee a ſad Apoſtaſy in Children, Parents civil, the Children debauched: Parents godly, the Children formall or looſe: Parents eminent for grace, Children notorious for lewdneſs. Let your bowels turn within you to ſee ſo great a degeneracy. Double your diligence, that there may be an holy ſeed. Knock off the chains of Hell from your Children what you may: lay not out all your time how they may be rich. It is no time to ſeek great things for your ſelves; ſeek them not. Pitty the Souls of your Children, that are ſlaves to the Devil. How can ye mind your trades, fields, bodies; whilſt the Souls of your Children are in danger of periſhing? How can ye ſee the Devil driving your Children to Sin and Hell, and ye ſtand ſtill with a Gallio-Spirit? Go to your Cloſets, and ask your hearts, whether the Soul be not the principal part of the Child? and whether that needs not your care more than the body? Do not throw away the Blade to preſerve the Scabbard. God hath ſet you to watch their Souls, to train up their Souls, to provide for their Souls: if you do not, what is your love more than a Pagans, a Turks, towards your Children? You think you ſhould be unnatural if you ſhould not lay up for your Children (though many Profeſſours upon pretence that God will provide, indulge to the fleſh, pamper their bodies, and ſtarve their Children) but here is the beſt laying up to lay up a ſtock of Prayers for them, and a ſtock of Counſell and Inſtruction in them. O Parents! Once more I beſeech you, put on bowels of pitty and compaſſion. Pitty the periſhing Souls of your own Children. Command your Children to keep the way of the Lord: ſuffer them not to faſhion themſelves according to the courſe of the world. Connive not at them in practiſing what you think is abominable in the worſhip of God. Remember they are Gods Children more than yours. Ezek. 16.20.All Souls are mine. God claims a ſpecial right in them, thy Sons and thy Daughters whom thou haſt born unto me. If you neglect your duties, you and your Children are like to have ſad greetings, when you meet before the Lord another day. How will your Children lay their hells and torments to your dores? how will they curſe the day they were born of ſuch fond women, who indulged to them in their neglects of God? Curſed be the day that ever I ſaw the paſſions, the pride, the formality of my Father, or of my Mother; for thereby I learned to ſin againſt the Lord. O your examples undid me! I had not come to this place of torment had it not been for you.
Children, As Children, evidenced in ſeveral particulars.Are not you alſo greatly faulty towards your Parents? If Children be richer than their Parents, how irreverent are they? how over familiar with their Parents? as if they had forgot the firſt Commandement with promiſe. How diſobedient are they to their lawfull commands? though the command of God be expreſs, Col. 3.20. Epheſ. 6.1, 2, 3.Children, obey your Parents in all things, and it is added, for this is well-pleaſing unto the Lord. Children obey your Parents in the Lord for this is right. Honour thy Father & thy Mother (which is the firſt Commandement with promiſe) that it may be well with thee, and thou mayeſt live long on the Earth. Was Chriſt ſubject to his Parents, Luk. 2.51.and ſhould not you be ſubject to yours? Sure you ſhould have obeyed them as farr as without ſin, though their commands croſſed your natural deſires: as Joſeph, when Iſrael ſaid unto him, come I will ſend thee to thy Brethren at Sechem, though he knew he ſhould be ſent to them who hated him; yet he ſaid unto his Father, Here am I. How ſtout and rebellious are Children when corrected? Hebr. 12.9.How few can ſay, we have had Fathers of our fleſh, which corrected us, and we gave them reverence? This Sin ſo provoked God, Deut. 21.18, 19, 20, 21.that he made it Capitall in the dayes of old. If a man have a ſtubborn and rebellious Son, which will not obey the voyce of his Father, or the voyce of his Mother, and that when they have chaſtred him, will not hearken unto them: then ſhall his. Father and his Mother lay hold of him, and bring him out unto the Elders of his City, and ſhall ſay, this our Son is ſtubborn and rebellious, &c. and all the men of his City ſhall ſtone him with ſtones, that he die: ſo ſhalt thou put evill away from among you. How rebellious are Children in refuſing the eallings which Parents have appointed for them? If the Parent be bound to bring them up to a calling, are not the Children bound to attend that calling? Brethren, let every man wherein he is called; 1 Cor. 7.24.therein abide with God. Chriſt probably was brought up in his reputed Fathers calling. Is not this the Carpenter? Mar. 6.3.How diſobedient are Profeſſing-Children in their marriages? Children are the Parents goods, ſo God reckoneth them, yea ſo the Devil reckoneth them. When the Devil had commiſſion to meddle with Jobs goods, he falls on the Children. Some are worſe than Iſhmaels, Gen. 21.21.Nature and Civility made him ſubmit to his Mother for the choice of his Wife. If Children muſt obey their Parents in littles, much more in weighty matters. How little have you requited your Parents? This you are bound unto, To ſhew piety at home, 1 Tim. 5.4.and to requite Parents, is good and acceptable before the Lord. Your Parents took care of you when you were as beaſts, you had your life and education from them, and what now ſlight them when old or weak? What laugh at their follies? What when you are high, reject your parents that are low? The very Heathen Oratour declaims againſt this; We are not born (ſaith he) for our ſelves, but partly for our Country, partly for our Parents. How are you degenerated from your Parents commands and examples? There are few true Rechabites, who forbore wine from generation to generation. It makes my heart ake when I read that the people ſerved the Lord all the dayes of Joſhuah, and all the dayes of the Elders that out-lived Joſhuah, Judges 2.7, 10, 11, 12, 14.who had ſeen all the great works of the Lord, that he did for Iſrael; but there aroſe another generation after them, which knew not the Lord, &c. and the Children of Iſrael did evill in the ſight of the Lord, and ſerved Baalim: and they forſook the Lord God of their Fathers, which brought them out of the Land of Egypt, &c. and provoked the Lord to anger: and the anger of the Lord was hot againſt Iſrael, and he delivered them into the hands of ſpoylers, that ſpoyled them; and he ſold them into the hands of their enemies round about, ſo that they could not any longer ſtand before their enemies. O! in vain will ye relieve your ſelves in your Baptiſmal relations unto God, that you have Abraham to your Father: Mat. 8.11.Gods judgements will be more bitter to you, more heavy on you, than on others, when the Children of the Kingdome ſhall be caſt out. You will be ready to curſe the day you came of ſuch Parents, that ever you had ſuch holy inſtructions and examples, to no purpoſe, ſave to greaten your condemnation. The Lord ſaid unto Moſes, Deut. 31.16, 17.This People will goe a whoring after the Gods of the Strangers of the Land, whither they goe to be amongſt them, and will forſake me, and break my Covenant, which I have made with them: Then mine anger ſhall be kindled againſt them in that day, and I will forſake them, and will hide my face from them, and they ſhall be devoured, and many evills and troubles ſhall befall them; ſo that they will ſay in that day, Are not theſe evills come upon us, becauſe our God is not amongſt us? Nay, Abraham (whom you truſt to, and the Privileges by him) will upbraid his Son Dives with his former good things: Son, Luke 16.25.remember that thou in thy life time receivedſt thy good things, and likewiſe. Lazarus evil thing…: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented. O moſt dreadful! Your very righteous Parents ſhall rejoyce in your ruine. The righteous ſhall rejoyce, when he ſees the vengeance, Pſa. 58.10, 11.&c. So that a man ſhall ſay, Verily, he is a God, that judgeth in the Earth.