A Gospel Glass, Treatise · Chapter 29
CHAP. XXIX. The ſins of Husbands and Wives.
HUsbands and Wives are call'd to reflexion on their miſcarriages, joyntly, Husbands and Wives ſins.ſeverally.
Joyntly, for their not being ſo carefull of their choice, as they ſhould have been: not ſeeking God enough in a matter of ſo great conſequence, which was for tearm of life, and wherein the Souls of each other were ſo highly concerned. 1 Cor. 7.39.The Wife is bound by the Law as long as her Husband liveth; but if her Husband he dead, ſhe is at liberty to be married to whom ſhe will, only in the Lord. 2 Cor. 6.14.Be ye not unequally yoaked together with unbelievers: for what fellowſhip hath righteouſneſs with unrighteouſneſs? and what communion hath light with darkneſs? That they came together upon low, earthly, and luſtfull motives, for profit, pleaſure, beauty, rather than to further the Kingdom of the Lord Jeſus Chriſt. The Sons of God ſaw the Daughters of Men, that they were fair; Gen. 6.2.and they took them Wives of all which they choſe. That they did not by Prayer and Fasting try to live unmarried, though the Apoſtle told them of the advantages of ſerving Chriſt thereby. 1 Cor. 7.32.He that is unmarried, careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may pleaſe the Lord.
Severally. The Husbands ſins in not loving as Chriſt.Husbands, ye have not loved your Wives, as Chriſt the Church; though the command be expreſs, Husbands, love your Wives, even as Chriſt alſo loved the Church, Chriſt is faithful to his Spouſe. I will abide for thee. Thou ſhalt abide for me many dayes, thou ſhalt not play the Harlot, Eph. 5.25. Hoſ. 3.3.and thou ſhalt not be for another man, ſo will I alſo be for thee. But though you have not been Adulterers in any groſs act, yet how oft have you wiſh'd the bond of marriage were broken? and have not you had eyes full of Adultery? hath not your love to others degenerated into ſecret luſt? Chriſt is patient to his Church, but hath your love ſuffered all things? upon light matters, what frowns, I will not ſay what blows? Hath not family-prayer been neglected through your wrath? Chriſt gives no occaſion of jealouſie; but have not ſome of you? The Lord ſearcheth hearts. Chriſts love is bountifull; how ſhort have you kept your Wives, contrary to your engagements to endow them with all your worldly goods? Chriſt keeps company with the … of his boſome; but have not ſome of you been more abroad than at home? Chriſt edifieth his Church: Do ye dwell with your Wives as men of knowledge? Chriſt doth communicate ſecrets to his Spouſe: Are not ye ſtrangers to the hearts, though perhaps not to the boſomes, of your neareſt Relations? Chriſt doth confer often with his Church about the myſteries of God: I wiſh you did ſo. I fear ſome of you are ſilver tongued abroad, to get you a name, forward to ſpeak of Chriſt, but dum… at home even to your Wives as well as Children. The Woman learns not, 2 Cor. 14.25.though ſhe ask her Husband at home. Chriſt gives the ſ…peſt rebubes to his offending Spouſe priv…ely, and when he gets her alone; But do not you r…bro…e before Servants and Children? Hereby they learn frowardneſſe, when brought into this relation, and at preſent ſlight the Wives of your boſomes. Chriſt doth not blaze his Wifes infirmities; but ſo have ye. Chriſt puts the beſt conſtruction on what his Spouſe doth. The ſpirit is willing, though the fleſh be weak. But do not you put the worſt? When your luſts are quenched, your love is gone. Chriſt doth pitty his Church as the weaker veſſel; if ye did ſo, the family would be the better governed. Christ doth ſympathize with his Church: In all her afflictions he is afflicted; but how fretfull, churliſh, and Nabal-like are you, when the hand of God is heavy on your neareſt Relations? Chriſt doth vindicate his Spouſe, and is greatly diſpleaſed when ſhe ſuffers from the world; but cannot ſome of you help to deride your Wives … and not frown when they are wronged and abuſed. Chriſt doth not upbraid his Spouſe with her low condition before he he put honour on her; but alas! How oft have ye caſt into the diſh what the condition of your Wives was before you caſt your eyes upon them? Chriſt gave his life for his Church: what haſt thou done and ſuffered to ſave the Soul of thy Wife? Christ rules his Church, not with a rod of Iron, but with a Scepter of Love: Is your dominion exerciſed with diſcretion and love? Are all things done in Charity? Is ſhe to thee … a loving Hind or Roe? Prov. 5.19.Chriſt doth not count his Spouſe as a Servant, but a Friend; he doth not domineer over his Church, but hath high thoughts of her; but how many husbands uſe their Wives hardly better than Servants? Christ notwithſtanding keeps up his authority over his Church, but do not many Husbands looſe it through too much uxoriouſneſs, and make themſelves contemptible, by yeilding to their Wives, as Adam to his, whence came at firſt all ſin, diſorder, and miſery into the world? How did Solomon fall? Chriſt yeilds to many of his Wives petitions and ſuits to him: but many are worſe than the Heathen was to his Wife, He ſaid unto her, What wilt thou Queen Eſther? Eſth. 5.3.and what is thy requeſt? it ſhall be even given thee to the half of the Kingdom. The poor Wife muſt uſe the mediation of others to have her deſires accompliſhed. When Chriſt doth command his Wife, his Church, he doth it mildly: We pray you in Chriſts ſtead. But many Husbands imperiouſly enough, too much, God knoweth, Philem. v. 9.when for loves ſake they ſhould rather intreat. Chriſt doth love his Spouſe, though he gains nothing by her; but alas! How many are ſevere enough to their Wives, when they fail of that Eſtate, &c. that they expected from them?
As Husbands fail, ſo do Wives; Wives miſcarriages, in not loving their Husbands as the Church Chriſt. Eph. 5.24. Pſal. 73.25.even as the Church is ſubject unto Chriſt, ſo ſhould ye have been to your own Husbands in every thing. But how have ye affronted your Light? The true Church of Chriſt loves him inwardly, as well as outwardly: ſo ſhould ye have loved your Husbands; but alas! How little have ye ſhewed the union betwixt the Church and Chriſt by your affections? The Church loves Chriſt more than Angels: Whom have I in Heaven but thee? And there is none upon Earth that I deſire beſides thee. But how many Wives are commending others Husbands more than their own? If my Husband were thus, and thus, &c. Thy Husband ſhould be to thee the moſt precious of all perſons, the moſt lovely in thine eyes. Not parts and gifts, but the good pleaſure of God, ſhould be the ground of this ſpecial love. The Church honours Chriſt above all other perſons in the world; but have not ſome of you mean, low and baſe thoughts of your Husbands? The Church is ſubject to Chriſt in all things; but will not ſome of you wear what you pleaſe, goe where you pleaſe, eat what you pleaſe, and employ your ſelves in what you pleaſe? Yea, though contrary to your Husbands juſt commands, and meek entreaties? The Church fears Chriſt: ſo ſhould Wives: I ſay not either ſhould, with a ſlaviſh, but both ſhould, with a reverential fear. Remember Michal, 1 Chron. 15. ult.She deſpiſed her Husband in her heart, (She did not exprefs her ſlighting of him, as many do, in words) and ſhe had no Child unto the day of her death. God took the Husband's part, and put a remark of diſpleaſure upon that her ſa…cineſs. For ſlighting the Ordinance of God, her Head, (though but in her heart) God plagued her in her Womb with barrenneſs. The Church loves Chriſt more and more; but O the decayes of Womens affections to their Husbands! Partly through levity, and partly through age, and partly through croſs Providences! Prov. 2.17.Whereas thou ſhouldſt have kept the Covenant of thy God. The Church doth commend Chriſt; but ſeldome are Wives careful herein, to imitate the Church of God. How many do blazon their infirmities more frequently, than commend their graces? The Church is careful to pleaſe Chriſt in all things: 1 Cor. 7.34.The married Woman ſhould care (ſtudy) to pleaſe her Husband, by her attire, behaviour, words; She ſhould goe, ſpeak, and do ſo, Eph. 5.24.as may render her moſt acceptable in his ſight, in every thing. How many croſs Wives are there, that love to vex, rather than to delight their Husbands? They will cloath and adorn their bodies, to make them lovely to ſtrangers, rather than to their own Husbands. The Church bears patiently rebukes and blows from Chriſt: ſo ſhould Wives; as Sarah was commended for her meekneſs. 1 Pet. 3.4, 5, 6.The ornament of a meek and quiet Spirit, is in the ſight of God, of great price; for after this manner, in the old time, the holy Women adorned themſelves, being in ſubjection to their own Husbands, even as Sara, &c. The Church gives Chriſt reverend Titles of honour and eſteem: but alas! Wives are ſo proud, ſo ſelf-conceited of their own worth and merit, that they cannot but diſrespect all others, even their own Husbands. Hereby they ſhew not themſelves to be the Daughters of Sarah; Gen. 18.12. 1 Pet. 3.6.She having occaſion to think of her Husband, preſently this title Lord came out of her heart into her mouth: and the Holy Ghoſt takes notice of it: yea a ſecond time, ſure it was for ſome high end; and proves that ſhe obeyed Abraham, becauſe She called him Lord. Perhaps the Wife will tell me, theſe are but trifles that I croſs my Husband in: I muſt tell thee, to break the order of God for toyes and trifles will greaten thy ſin at the day of accounts. What wilt thou, dareſt thou for ſo ſlender a matter tread down the Law of thy God, and hazard the ruine of thy Soul? O! conſider this, and turn not your duties to your Husbands into matter of talk and paſtime, as the manner of moſt Women is.