Letters in Two Parts, Part 1 · LETTER 61
To his worthy & much honoured friend FULK ELIES. (61)
Worthy & much honoured in our Lord
GRace, mercy & peace be to you: I am glad of our more then paper-acquaintance: Seeing we have one father, it reckoneth the less though we never saw one anothers faces. I profess my self most unworthy to follow the camp of such a worthy & renowned captain, as Christ. Oh alas, I have cause to be grieved, that men expect any thing of such a wretched man as I am: It is a wonder to me, if Christ can make any thing of my naughtie, short & narrow love to him; surely it is not worth the up-taking. 2. As for our lovely and beloved Church in Ireland, my heart bleedeth for her desolation; but I beleeve our Lord is onelyonly lopping the vinetrees, but not intending to cut them down or root them out. It is true, seeing we are heart-Atheists by nature, & cannot take providence aright, [because we halt & crook ever since we fell] we dream of an halting providence, as if God's yard whereby he measureth joy & sorrow to the sons of men, were crooked & unjust, because servants are on horse-back & Princes goe on foot; but our Lord dealeth good & evil & some one portion or other to both, by ounce-weights; & measureth them in a just and even ballance. It is but folly to measure the Gospel by summer or winter-weather: The summer-sun of the saints, shineth not on them in this life: how should we have complained if the Lord had turned the same providence, that we now stomacke at, up-side down, & had ordered matters thus, that first the saints should have enjoyed heaven, glory, & ease, & then Methusalem's dayes of sorrow & daily miseries; we should think a short heaven no heaven: certainly his wayes pass finding out. 3. Ye complain of the evil of heart-atheism, but it is to a greater atheist then any man can be, that ye write to of that: Oh, light findeth not that reverence & fear as a plant of God's setting should finde in our soul! How doe we by nature, as others, detain & captivat the truth of God in unrighteousness, & so make God's light a bound prisoner, & even when the prisoner breaketh the jayle & cometh out in belief of a Godhead, & in some practice of holy obedience; how often doe we of new, lay h…nds on the prisoner and put our light again in fetters: Certainly there cometh great mist & clouds from the lower part of our soul, our earthly affections, to the higher part, which is our conscience, either naturall or renewed, as smoke in a lower house breaketh up & defileth the house above: If we had more practice of obedience, we should have more sound light. I think, lay aside all other guiltiness, this one, the violence done to God's candle in our soul, were a sufficient dittay against us; for there is no helping of this, but by striving to stand in aw of God's light; lest light tell tales of us we de…re little to hear: but since it is not without God that light sitteth neighbour to will [a lawless Lord] no marvel that such a neighbour should l…aven our Judgement & darken our light. I see there is a necessity that we protest against the doings of the old man, & raise up a party against our worst half to accuse, condemn, sentence, & with sorrow bemoan the dominion of sin's Kingdom & withall, make Law in the new Covenant against our guiltness; for Christ once condemned sin in the flesh & we are to condemn it over again: & if there had not been such a thing as the grace of Jesus, I should have long since given up with heaven & with the expectation to see God: But grace, grace, free grace, the merits of Christ for nothing, white & fair & large Saviour-mercy [which is another sort of thing then creature-mercy, or law-mercy; yea a thousand degrees above Angel-mercy] hath been and must be the rock, that we drowned souls must swim to: New washing, renewed application of purchased redemption by that sacred blood, that sealeth the free Covenant is a thing of daily and hourly use to a poor sinner: Till we be in heaven our issue of blood will not be quite dryed up, & therefore we must resolve to apply peace to our soul from the new & living way, & Jesus who cleanseth & cureth the leprous…oul, lovely Jesus, must be our song on this side of heavens gates: & even when we have won the castle, then must we eternally sing, Worthy, worthy is the Lamb, who hath saved us & washed us in his own blood. I would counsel all the ransomed ones to learn this song, & to drink & be drunk with the love of Jesus. O fairest, O highest, O loveliest one, open the well! O water the burnt & withered travellers with this love of thine! I think it's possible on earth to build a young new Jerusalem, a little new heaven of this surpassing love. God either send m… more of this love, or take me quickly over the water, where I may be filled with his love: My softness cannot take with want; I profess I bear not hunger of Christ's love fair: I know not if I play foul play with Christ, but I would have a link of that chain of his providence mended in pining & delaying the hungry on-waiters: For my self I could wish that Christ would let out upon me more of that love: Yet to say Christ is a niggard to me, I dare not; & if I say, I have abundance of his love I should lye: I am half straitned to complain & cry, Lord Iesus hold thy hand no longer. Worthy Sir, let me have your prayers in my bonds. Grace be with you.
Aberd. 7 Septr, 1637. Yours in his sweet Lord. Iesus, S. R.