Letters in Two Parts, Part 1 · LETTER 120
To JOHN FLEMING, Bailisse of Leith [120]
Worthy & dearly beloved in the Lord.
GRace, mercy & peace be unto you: I received your letter: I wish I could satisfie your desire in drawing up and framing for you a Christian directory: But the learned have done it before me more judiciously then I can; especially Mr Rodgers, Greenhame & Perkins; not withstanding, I shall shew you what I would have been at my self [howbeit I I came alwayes short of my purpose.] 1. That hours of the day less or more time, for the word & prayer, be given to God, not sparing the twelfth hour or midday, howbeit it should then be the shorter time. 2. In the midst of wordly employments, there would be some thoughts of sin, judgement, death & eternity, with a word or two of ejaculatory prayer [at least] to God. 3. To beware of wandering of heart in privat prayers. 4. Not to grudge howbeit ye come from prayer without sense or joy: Down-casting, sense of guiltiness & hunger is often best for us. 5. That the Lord's day from morning to night be spent alwayes either in private or publike worship. 6. That words be observed, wandering and idle thoughts be avoided, sudden anger & desire of revenge, even of such as persecute the truth, be guarded against; for we often mix our zeal with our own wilde fire. 7. That known, discovered & revealed sins that are against the conscience be eshewed as most dangerous preparative, to hardness of heart. 8. That in dealing with men, faith & truth in covenants & traffiquing be regarded, that we deal with all men in sincerity, that conscience be made of idle & lying words, & that our carriage be such as that they who see it, may speak honourably of our sweet Master and profession. 9. I have been much challenged. 1. For not referring all to God as the last end: That I doe not eat, drink, sleep, journey, speak and think for God. 2. That I have not benefited by good company, & that I left not some word of conviction even upon naturall and wicked men, as by reproving swearing in them, or because of being a silent witness to their loose carriage, & because I intended not in all companies to doe good. 3. That the woes & calamities of the Kirk & particular professors have not moved me. 4. That the reading of the life of David, Paul & the like when it humbled me, I [coming so far short of their holiness] laboured not to imitate them afar off at least, according to the measure of God's grace. 5. That unrepented sins of youth were not looked to & lamented for. 6. That sudden stirrings of pride, lust, revenge, love of honours were not resisted & mourned for. 7. That my charity was cold. 8. That the experiences I had of God's hearing me in this & the other Particular, being gathered; yet in a new trouble I had alwayes [once at least] my faith to seek, as if I were to begin at A. B. C. Again. 9. That I have not more boldly contradicted the enemies speaking against the truth, either in publike church-meetings, or at tables, or ordinary conference. 10. That in great troubles I have received false reports of Christ's love & misbeleeved him in his chastning, whereas the event hath said all was in mercy. 11. Nothing more moveth me & weighteth my soul, then that I could never for my heart in my prosperity, so wrestle in prayer with God, nor be so dead to the world, so hungry & sick of love for Christ, so heavenly minded, as when ten stone weight of a heavy cross was upon me. 12. That the cross extorted vows of new obedience which ease hath blowen away as chaff before the wind. 13. That practice was so short & narrow, & light so long & broad. 14. That death hath not been often meditated upon. 15. That I have not been carefull of gaining others to Christ. 16. That my grace & gifts bring forth little or no thankfulness. There are somethings also whereby I have been helped: As, 1. I have benefited by riding alone a long journey, in giving that time to prayer. 2. By abstinence & giving dayes to God. 3. By praying for others; for by making an errand to God for them; I have gotten something for my self. 4. I have been really confirmed in many particulars that God heareth prayers, and therefore I used to pray for any thing of how little importance soever. 5. He enabled me to make no question that this mocked way, which is nicknamed, is the onelyonly way to heaven. Sir, these & many moe occurrences in your life would be looked unto: &, 1. Thoughts of Atheisme would be watched over as If there be a God in heaven: Which will trouble & assault the best at some times. 2. Growth in grace would be cared for above all things, & falling from our first love mourned for. 3. Conscience made of praying for the enemies who are blinded. Sir, I thank you most kindly for your care of my brother & me also: I hope it is laid up for you and remembred in heaven. I am still ashamed with Christ's kindness to such a sinner as I am: He hath left a fire in my heart that hell cannot cast water on to quench or extinguish it. Help me to praise and pray for me: for ye have a prisoner's blessing & prayers. Remember my love to your wife. Grace be with you.
Aberd. March. 15. 1367. Yours in Christ Iesus S. R.