The Complete Mother, Conclusion
The Concluſion. Wherein a Pathetick Addreſs is made to all, both Fathers and Mothers, that they will admit the preceding Particulars into their Serious and Impartial Conſideration.
§ 1. IT only remains, that I wind up this Diſcourſe with a Serious Admonition to all thoſe whom God hath honoured with the Title of Parents, that they will allow it an Impartial Conſideration.
§ 2. And firſt I ſhall ſpeak to all Mothers, becauſe they are Primarily and Principally concern'd. And methinks the very name might ſupercede the Repetition of all other Arguments. For what is the Import of a Mother? Why is the Earth ſtiled the common Mother of all things, but that it Nouriſhes all that it produceth? And do not all other Beings the ſame, whether Animate or Inanimate? Do not Grapes hang on the Vine, and Fruits on the Trees that produced them, taking their Increaſe from the Sap of the Wood, to which they owe their Original? And among Animals, Doth not the Lamb know its own Dam, and run to her Dug among a Thouſand in the ſame Flock? Nay even Savage Lions and Bears ſtand tamely to be Sucked by their young Cubs. The Philoſopher Favorinus was then in the right,A. Gell. l. 12. c. 1. when he ſtiled her but half a Mother, who Nouriſhes in her Womb what ſhe knows not, and conſequently doth not yet love, but caſts it off as ſoon as ſhe knows it, and firſt begins to love it. Nay ſhe is not to be reputed ſo much as half a Mother, ſince the Nurſe doth longer communicate Conſtituent Nouriſhment to her Child from her Body in Twelve Months, than the Mother in Nine. And how, Ladies, would you reſent it, if your Child ſhould refuſe to call you Mother, or own any other Woman to be more its Mother than you? If this would grieve or vex you, methinks you ſhould be aſham'd, that any other ſhould have done more of the Office of a Mother for it than your ſelf.
§ 3. Next to your relation to your Child, let me remind you of your Religion, which recommends the greateſt Charity to Strangers and Enemies. And how can it be conſiſtent with your Profeſſion of Chriſtianity, which obliges you to love your Enemies, to be deſective in your Love to) our neareſt Relations? Look then, unkind Mothers, look on your poor Infant newly thruſt out of your Womb, how Helpleſs and Forlorn it is. Hear the Lamentations wherewith it begins the World. What are thoſe cries, but the beſt ways it hath to implore your Pity, ſolicite your further Care, and to beg of you, now that it is excluded from the Womb, to entertain it in your Boſom? Look on your own Breaſts, which ſoon after the. Birth ſpring full of Milk. Did Nature intend no more in this, but to put you to the trouble of drying them? Or did it deſign you ſhould ſupply your Babe from that Store which ſhe hath provided? It had been much more wiſely contrived, for you to have been without Breaſts and Receptacles for Milk, if now you have them repleniſhed, it will be the beſt to deprive your ſelves of them. Is it not then a bold Reflection on the Divine Wiſdom, to act as if you could have contrived the parts of your Bodies better than he hath done? If then you cannot be ſo far. forſaken of Reaſon, as to imagine that the Author of your Being intended your Breaſts only for needleſs Excreſſences, much leſs Snares and Temptations to your ſelves and others; as oft as you look on them remember their proper uſe; and reſolve not to ſuffer your Child to want what Nature hath enabled you to ſupply it with. It is now removed out of your Womb into your Arms, and the Meat which Nouriſhed it there, follows it to your Breaſts, that it may be preſerved by the Principles of its Conſtitution. Let not thoſe parts then ſerve only to miniſter to Pride and Wantonneſs, which are ſo apparently intended by God for your Infants Suſtentation.
§ 4. I acknowledge there are but very few Perſons of Quality that ſtoop to this Employment; but this ought not to diſcourage you from it, but rather confirm your Reſolution to undertake it, as it gives you an opportunity to ſhew your ſelves Singularly good Mothers. Piety is then truly Heroick, when it dare own a neglected Duty, and rather be laugh'd at, than deſerve to be reproved. And if Cuſtom were a concluſive Argument in all caſes, there are very few Vices but might plead it as well as this. And your Husbands have as good a Plea for the Vices you moſt diſlike (ſuch as Drunkenneſs, keeping Miſſes, &c.) as you have for hiring other Women to Nurſe your Children. Thoſe Vices may plead Cuſtom among the Men, as this among the Women of Quality. Oppoſe then this evil Cuſtom among Women by your Example, and make the Experiment, whether you can hereby teach the Men, as well as your own Sex, to be aſhamed of wicked Faſhions. For who knows how much your Illuſtrious Example may contribute to the overthrowing of Vile Cuſtoms, and the reſtoring of Credit to neglected Duties.
§ 5. In a word, Let me beſeech you to conſider, how ye can anſwer to God, your Families, or your Country, the Omiſſion of this Duty: If your ſlighting of Natures Dictates occaſion any of the forementioned Miſchiefs to the beſt Families and greateſt Hopes of the Nation, for ſuch we may reckon the Children of our Nobility and Gentry to be.
§ 6. Eſpecially, Let me intreat you once more to conſider, how many Children this Cuſtom Murders every Year, and what an Hue and Cry of Innocents Blood there is againſt it, which may well overtake the Abetters of it writh Divine Vengeance. Murder is an Horrid Crime, but Parricide is worſe. We deteſt the Wickedneſs, and Cruelty of a poor Wretch, who to hide her Shame ſtrangles her Baſtard. And how much better are thoſe Mothers, who without ſo great a Temptation (only to gratifie their Luxury or Eaſe) reſign up their Children, the hopes of their Family and the Nation, to the Slaughter? If there were as much Natural Affection among our Nicer Dames, as once there was in the Mothers of Bethlehem, there would be as many Rachels among them Weeping for the Slaughter of their Innocent Babes. Eſpecially ſince not a Cruel Herod is the Tyrant and Aſſaſſinate, but themſelves. Nor is this any Vain, much leſs Uncharitable Suppoſition, ſince it is obvious to common Obſervation, that though thoſe Mothers who do not Nurſe, generally bring forth more Children yet; fewer of them arrive to Maturity and ſurvive them; which cannot be imputed ſo much to the Frequency of Production ſince they are uſually brought forth as ſtrong and lively as others) as to the ill Nurſing of them by Strangers. And if we juſtly deteſt their Inhumane Idolatry, who offered up their Children in the Fiery Embraces of Moloch (ſince it is no more excuſable to make ſuch Sacrifices to Luxury than to Superſtition) methinks it ſhould be a very Melancholly Conſideration to all Mothers, that the Lives of many Thouſand poor Innocents, even in this one Nation, are Sacrificed every Year for the Support of this Luxurious and Unnatural Cuſtom.
§ 7. But I muſt confeſs there is one Caſe very neceſſary to be conſidered, which hath not yet been mentioned, viz. That very oft the Father is unwilling that his Wife ſhould undertake this Office. And if he will not conſent to her Nurſing, how can ſhe do the Duty of a Wife, unleſs ſhe wave this Office of a Mother? In anſwer to this I have this only to return, That all I have hitherto aimed at in this Diſcourſe, is to perſuade Mothers to be willing to Nurſe their Children: If this be effected, all I have to add is, That if any Husband be Obſtinate in refuſing to permit it, the Wifes Duty is, to be obedient to him, and leave him to anſwer for the Neglect which ſhe cannot help. But that this may not hereafter be any ones Caſe, I ſhall put an end to this Tract,
§ 8. Secondly, By an earneſt Addreſs to all Fathers, that they do not put their Wives upon ſuch an Unhappy Strait by their Perverſe Obſtinacy, but rather (as becomes their Duty) encourage them to undertake and aſſiſt them all they can in performing this Office. You have, Sirs, an equal Concern with your Wives in all the precedent Arguments. If the Word of God and the Law of Nature oblige them to Nurſe, it obliges you to teach them their Duty, or at leaſt to encourage them to practiſe it, and not hinder them from it. And whatever Miſchiefs redound to your Family, or your Child, by drawing the Breaſt of a Stranger, they equally concern you as her, and (unleſs you have put off Reaſon, together with Humanity and Natural Affection) muſt produce in you a very Senſible Reſentment. So that you are as much obliged to prevent them as ſhe, and all the Guilt is juſtly to be laid at your door, if it happen through your means that ſhe doth not. Moſt of the Pains and Toil of Nurſing is hers, and if your Reſt be ſometimes broken, you are very Soft and Luxurious indeed, if you grudge to endure much more than that for your Childs good. Nay you are very Churliſh and Unkind to her, if you contribute not all you can to make her Duty as eaſie as may be to her. Abraham's Joy at the Weaning of his Son,Gen. 21.8. is an Evidence he was well pleaſed that Sarah had Nurſed him. And Elkanah, Who before obliged his Wives conſtantly to accompany him to the Tabernacle, readily conſents to Hannahs ſtay at home for the Nurſing of her Son.1 Sam. 1.23. No ſooner doth ſhe move it, but he anſwers, Do as ſeemeth thee good. And if all Husbands were in this like Abraham and Elkanah, the moſt Wives would be like Sarah and Hannah, as ready, I mean, to Nurſe as they. It is very rare that any Wife refuſes this Office, when her Husband is deſirous ſhe would undertake it; much more when he perſuades and encourages her, by the Proviſion of all convenient Helps and Aſſiſtance for her.
§ 9. In a word, A Cuſtom ſo inveterate as this is, will not be ſo effectually broke, as by a Mutuall Concurrence of both the Father and the Mother. If the Mother be deſirous to Nurſe, few Fathers will be ſo Moroſe and Unnatural as to refuſe their Conſent: Or if the Father be Solicitous that the Mother her ſelf ſhould do this Office for his Son, there are not many Women ſo in love with their own Eaſe, or forgetful of their Childrens Advantage, as to decline it. But where both deſire it, they will be Meet-helps indeed, and afford ſuch mutual Encouragement, as Mill make all the Fatigues of it Eaſie and Delightful. And Delightful, I dare undertake, it will be to both, if there be in them the leaſt Spark of Good Nature. There is ſuch a Faſcination in the Innocent Poſtures, and Gradual Appearances of Reaſon, the pretty Smiles and confuſed Jargon, the calm Endearments and unfeigned Love of theſe little Innocents, that the Wiſeſt Men have found a Satisfactory Diverſion in their Company. And if any one queſtions this, let him forbear to Cenſure, till he have made trial of this Pleaſure of a Father: As Ageſilaus once anſwered one,Aelian. var. Hiſt. l. 12. c. 15. who laughed at him for condeſcending to Play with his Son. For I have known ſome Fathers at firſt very Averſe to their Wives Nurſing, who after Experience of thoſe Pleaſing Diverſions, that are to be found in the conſtant Company of a little Babe, would not on any Terms loſe the Repetition of that Pleaſure, by turning the next abroad to a Strange Nurſe.
§ 10. Thus have I finiſhed my Undertaking, and doubt not but I have ſaid enough to demonſtrate my Sincere Compaſſion for the Expoſed Infants of Great and Honourable Parents; enough to vindicate thoſe few Mothers, who by performing this Office themſelves, have provoked the Scoffs of the reſt; and enough to diſcharge mine own Duty in reminding them of theirs, according to my ſlender Ability; which were all the ends I could propoſe to my ſelf, with any Aſſurance of Succeſs. But if the Divine Bleſſing make theſe Papers more Succeſsful, if it ſo direct theſe few ſmall Stones, taken out of a Shepherds Scrip, as to Foil a Gigantick Inveterate Cuſtom, and prevail on any, though never ſo few Ladies, to become Nurſes, I ſhall hope for a compleat Victory from their Example, which I cannot from my Diſcourſe. Let but a few more truly Generous and Noble Matrons, come in and joyn with thoſe few that have already begun to ſet this Age a good Example; and ſuch a bright Conſtellation cannot but be took notice of, and have a vigorous Influence to render it as Faſhionable for the future, for Ladies to Diſcharge this their Duty, as it is at preſent to Neglect it.
FINIS.
ADVERTISEMENT.
FAmily Devotions for Sunday Evenings. In Two Volumes: Each containing Thirteen Practical Diſcourſes, with ſo many Prayers for two Quarters of the Year. By Theophilus Dorrington. Printed for John Wyat at the Roſe in St. Paul's Church-yard.
End of the text · Henry Newcome, The Complete Mother (1695)