Select Observations of Roman Emperors, Life 4
Caius Caligula.
SOme say this name of Caligula was given him, for a certain kind of shooe called Caliga, used among men of warr, and worn by him; or he got it by occasion of a merry word taken up in the Camp,Suetonius. because he was brought up there in the habit of an ordinary and common soldier among the rest.Quia natus in exercitu fuerat, cognomentum calceamenti militaris, i. e. Caligulae fortitus est.
Cajus, cognomen Caligae cui castra dederunt.
Ausonius.
He carried himself well before he was Emperor, so that it was said of him, Nec servum meliorem ullum, Aurel. Vict.nec deteriorem Dominum fuisse. There was never a better servant, and a worse Master.
He was very tall of stature, pale and wan-coloured, of body somewhat gross and unfashionable, his eies sunk in his head, and his Temples were hollow, his forehead was broad, the hair of his head grew thin, in all parts else he was hairy and shagged, and therefore it was a capital offence, either to look upon him as he passed by, from an higher place, or once but to name a *Suetonius.Goat upon any occasion whatsoever.It was held crimen laesae Majestatis, against his Imperial person. His face and visage being naturally stern and grim, he made of purpose more crabbed and hideous, composing and dressing it in a looking-glass, all manner of waies to seem more terrible, and to strike greater fear.Speed. Vultus horridus. Being clad oftentimes with a cloak of needle-work, and embroidered with divers colours,Sueton. and the same set out with precious stones;Torserat per omnia quae in rerum natura tristissima sunt, fidiculis, Eculeo, igne, vultu suo. Seneca. lib. 3. de Ira. in a coat also with long sleeves, and wearing bracelets withall, he would come abroad into the City.
In omnia fuit ei pro ratione impetus, sive ad cupiendum aliquid ingens et incredibile, se incitasset, sive ad patranda immania exarsisset. Boecleri Dissertatio Polit. in Calig.He said that he did approve of nothing so much in his nature as his immodesty.
On a time esteeming it a thing correspondent to his greatness who was Emperor, to exact that superiority on the Sea, which was answerable to his Soveraignty on the Land, being to cross the Sea between Puteoli a City in Campania, and Misenum another maritime town,Sueton. he caused a Bridge to be built betwixt one Cape of the Sea unto another,Novum & inauditum spectaculi genus. for the space of three miles and more, on which he commanded himself to be drawn in a Chariot, as if it were answerable to his Dignity.
Some are of opinion that he invented such a kind of Bridge in emulation of Xerxes, who not without the wonder of the world, made a Bridge of planks over Hellespont an arm of the Sea, somewhat narrower than this: Others, that by a bruit blazed abroad of some huge and monstrous piece of work, he might terrifie Germany and Britain, upon which Countries he meant to make war. See Sandys Travels l. 4. p. 214.
He maintained his reputation with his Grand-father Tiberius, by no means but this; he shadowed his cruel mind with subtil modesty, and shewed not discontent either for the condemnation of his Mother, or the banishment of his Brethren, Pari habitu semper cum Tiberio, haud multum distantibus verbis, He did imitate him in his apparel, in his words, in all things as near as possibly he could.
He succeeded Tiberius in the Empire, but in cruelty far exceeded him.Tacit. lib. 6. Annal. Thus far forth as of a Prince (saith Suetonius,) relate we must as of a Monster.
Sueton.He usurped the name of god, commanding his subjects to dignifie him with more than human honours;Aurel. Vict. In his Temple stood an Idol of fine gold, of himself; which was daily cloathed and adorned with the like garments which he then wore. Cuffe of Affectation.and ascending the Capitol, which among all the Temples in Rome is most religiously honoured, he was so bold as to salute Iupiter, and to call him brother.
— Divumque sibi poscebat honores.
He sent Petronius with an Army to Ierusalem, commanding him to set his statue in the Temple, and if the Jews refused to receive it, that those who withstood him he should put to the sword, and lead the rest captive;Joseph. l. 18. Antiq. c. 11. & 2. de bello Iudaic. c. 9. but partly by Petronius his prudence, and through Aristobulus his intercession with him, and King Agrippa's with Caligula, it was hindered.
The like is in the 21. lib. of Tacitus, where he thus writeth of the Jews, Sub Tiberio quies, deinde jussi a Caio Caesare effigiem ejus in Templo locare, arma potius sumpsere; quem motum mors Caesaris diremit.
He gave it out openly, that his own Mother was begotten by Incest which Augustus committed with his own daughter Iulia.Suetonius.
He caused his Brother Tiberius to be slain,Suetonius. and reserved his Uncle Claudius (who was his Successor in the Empire) for nothing else, but to make him his laughing-stock.
Many of honorable rank were by him put to death, and sawed asunder in the midst, because they had no good opinion of his shews, or had not sworn by his Genius.
Per Genium Principis Romanos jurare solitos, testes sunt Iurisconsulti nostri, quemadmodum & per salutem Principis, & per Principis venerationem.An ordinary thing it was at Rome to swear by the Genius, as also by the Fortune, and the health of their Emperors. And what a devout Oath was this, Per Genium, that is, the spirit or superintendent Angel of the Prince? which I take to be as much as his own good self, as appeareth by Tertullian, Citius apud vos per omnes Deos, quam per Genium principis, pejeratur, Schildius in Calig.Doct. Holland in Annotat. in Sueton. Dio (as Heraldus upon Tertullians Apologie observes) saith,Apologet. c. 28 that Augustus a most wise and moderate Prince, not only pardoned, but also suppressed this kind of Oath.
Suetonius.He forced Parents to be present at the execution of their own Children.
And when one Father excused himself by reason of sickness, he sent a Litter for him. Another of them immediately after the heavy spectacle of his Son put to death, he invited to his own board, made him great cheer,Suetonius. and by all manner of courtesie provoked him to jocondness & mirth.
When his Grand-mother Antonia seemed to give him some admonition, Momento, ait, omnia mihi in omnes licere.
When he had at one time condemned a sort of Frenchmen and Greeks together, he made his boast, That he had subdued Gallo-Graecia, a Nation mixt of French and Greeks.
After he had well drunk and eaten, he took pleasure to cast his friends into the Sea, from on high, from a Bridge which he built at Puteoli before mentioned, and caused many to be drowned which sought to save them. Dion. lib. 50. of his Hist. Suetonius in Calig. cap. 32.
He would not permit any to suffer death, but after many strokes given, and those very softly.Ita in bello civili Mariano, Marius quidam particulatim amputatus, diu vivere vel potius diu mori coactus est, ut inquit eleganter Augustin. lib. 3. de civ. Dei. His Command being generally and commonly known, Ita feri ut se mori sentiat, Strike so, that they may feel themselves dying, and endure the pains of an enduring death.
He executed on a time one whom he had not appointed to die, by error only and mistaking his name, but it makes no matter, quoth he, for even he also hath deserved death.
A certain Citizen of Praetors degree,Schildius. desired oftentimes from the retiring place where he was at Anticyra (into which Isle he went for his healths sake) to have his Licence continued;Hellebore that groweth in the Isle Anticyra, is of most effectual operation; the root is that whereof is made our sneesing powder, it purgeth extremely by vomit; thereupon ariseth the Proverb, Naviget Anticyram, that is, Let him sail to Anticyra; applyed to one that is melancholick in the highest degree, and little better than mad. See Pliny's natural Hist. l. c. 342. but he gave order he should be killed outright, adding these words therewith, That blood-letting was necessary for him who in so long time had found no good by Hellebore, that is, by purging.
Being highly displeased upon a time with the multitude, for favouring the contrary faction to his, would God (quoth he) that the people of Rome had but one neck,At tu (inquit) unam cervicem habes, nos vero manus multas. meaning to chop them off at one blow; Vox carnifice quàm Imperatore dignior. Xiphil. A speech fitter for an Hangman than an Emperor: Over whom, being kild by Chaereas, the people of Rome afterward insulted.
He was wont openly to complain of the unhappy condition of the time wherein he lived,Queri de conditione temporum suorum solebat, quod nullis calamitatibus publicis insignirentur. as not renowned by any publick calamities; that his Government was like to be forgotten by the calm and prosperous current of all things, and therefore he would often wish for the overthrow of his Armies, Famine, Pestilence, Fire, Earthquakes,Sueton. and the like.
Nonnunquam horreis praeclusis populo famem indixit. He proclaimed a famine without scarcity.Suetonius.
While he was at his recreations and disports, he practised the same cruelty both in word and deed; oftentimes as he sate at dinner, some were examined upon the Rack in his presence, and others had their heads struck off.
His saying was, Oderint dunt metuant, Let them hate me, so they fear me.
Being one day very free at a great feast, he suddenly brake forth into a great laughter, and the Consuls who were next him demanding whereat he laughed so, his answer was, Quid nisi uno meo nutu jugulari utrumque vestrum statim posse? At what else (quoth he) but this, that with one nod of my head I can have both your throats cut immediately?
As oft as he kissed the neck of his Wife or Concubine, he would commonly adde, Tam bona cervix, simulac jussero, demetur. As fair and lovely a neck as this is,Sueton off it shall go if I do but speak the word.Dirissimae immanitatis dictum; sed in Historia Turcarum factum legimus hoc etiam dicto crudelius.
He complained of the iniquity of the time, that one doubting to be poysoned of him did take counterpoyson, or a remedy against it; what sayes he, Antidotum adversus Caesarem? Is there any Antidote against Caesar?Casaub. in Calig.
His cruelty (as Dion saith) was not imputed to his Father or Mother,Vide plura ibid. but to his Nurse, which was a most cruel woman her self, and used to rub her breast nipple with blood, causing him to suck it; which he practised also afterwards, for he did not only delight in the committing of many Murders, but through insatiable desire of blood, would with his tongue suck and lick off the blood that stuck upon his sword or dagger.
Videtur Natura edidisse, (saith Seneca) ut ostenderet quid summa vitia in summa fortuna possent. De Cons. ad Helviam. c. 9.Nature seemed to have brought him forth, to shew what effects the greatest vice joyned with the greatest fortune could produce.
And it may justly be verified of his times, what Senecca saith in another place, Res humanas sub illo in eum statum decidisse, In his Preface to his fourth book of natural questions.ut inter misericordiae opera baberetur occidi. Under him things were brought to that pass, as it was reckoned amongst the works of mercy to be slain.
De quo nescio an decuerit memoriae prodi, nisi forte quia juvat de Principibus nosse omnia, Aurel. Vict.ut improbi saltem famae metu talia declinent.
Concerning whom (saith Aurel. Victor.) I know not whether it shall be meet to have recorded any thing, but that peradventure it is expedient to know all things of Princes, that wicked men at least with fear of the report may decline such things.
He was very expert in the Greek, and vulgar Roman Tongues. He was also of a fluent speech, and if he had been to plead and declaim against one, when he was angry once, he had both words and sentences at will: when he was about to make an Oration, his manner was to threaten in these terms,Peroraturus stricturum se lucubrationis suae telum minabatur. Sueton. viz. That he would draw forth and let drive at his adversary, the keen weapon and dart of his night-study by Candle-light.
He would have removed the writings of Virgil and Livie out of all Libraries; he said, Virgil was a man of no wit, and very mean learning, and taxed Livie of verbosity, and negligence in penning his History.
He said, Seneca's works were Arena sine calce, Minutissimis sententiis rerum fregit pondera, saith Quintilian of Seneca. Sueton.Sand without Lime, because he often spoke short sentences, having no connextion amongst themselves.
Nepotinis sumptibus omnium prodigorum ingenia superavit, In riotous & wastful expences he exceeded the wits and inventions of all the prodigal spend-thrifts that ever were,Commentus portentosissima genera ciborum atque coenarum. inventing most monstrous kinds of meats, and making sumptuous Feasts. He would drink off most precious and costly Pearls dissolved in Vinegar.Sueton. Luxus fuit portentosi, ut qui etiam panes deauratos habuerit. He spent in one year two Millions, and 700000 of Sestertiums. He would set before his Guests loaves of Bread and other viands all of *Which had a glorious sight to look on, yet there was nothing for the contentation of Nature: so the Papists set their glittering service of Hebrew, Greek, and Latine before the people, a goodly shew to gaze on, and wonder at. Bish. Iewel. Cael. Rhodig. Suetonius.Gold, saying commonly withall, Aut frugi hominem esse oportere, aut Caesarem, That a man must either be frugall, or else Caesar.
He held the wills of great men as void and of no effect,Hic non toto vertente anno sex millia septingenta & quinquaginta myriadum aureorum prodegit. in case any person would come forth and say, That they purposed and intended at their death to make Caesar their Heir; he declared also by an Edict, that he would receive New-years gifts, & so he stood the first day of Ianuary in the entry of his house,Cael. Rhod. lect. Antiq. l. 20. c. 14. ready to take what pieces of money soever came, which the multitude of all sects and degrees, with full hands and bosoms powred out before him; nay,Contrectandae pecuniae cupidine incensus. Saepe super immensos aureorum acervos patentissimo diffusos loco, & nudis pedibus spatiatus, & toto corpore aliquandiu volutatus est. Sueton. he took such delight in handling of money, that oftentimes he would both walk bare-footed up and down, yea, and wallow also a good while with his whole body upon huge heaps of coined pieces of gold spread here and there in a most large open place.
There were in his secret Cabinet found two Books, bearing divers titles. The one had for the inscription,These things were found after his death. Gladius, the Sword; the other, Pugio, Pugio à pungendo, quia Punctim potius quam caesim vulnerat.i.e. the Dagger, or Rapier; They contained both of them the marks and names of such as were appointed unto death. There was found besides, a big chest full of divers poisons, which soon after being by Claudius drowned in the Sea,Sueton. infected and poisoned the same, and many Fishes were killed therewith, which the Tide cast into the next shores.
He set light by the gods, and threatned the Aire if it rained upon his Game-players, Quanta dementia fuit? putavit aut sibi noceri ne a Iove quidem posse, aut se nocere & Iovi posse. Senec. de Ira. lib. 1. cap. 16. How great madness was it to think that either Iupiter could not hurt him,See before in the life of Augustus and Tiberius. or that himself could hurt Iupiter? Yet notwithstanding at the least thunder and lightning he used to wink close with both eyes, to enwrap also and cover his whole head; but if the same were greater and somewhat extraordinary, he would start out of his Bed, and hide himself under the Bed-sted.
Dion reporteth of two, that when the Emperor was sick, thinking to get much as a reward for their great love to the Emperor, vowed, that on condition he might live, they themselves would dye to excuse him; he recovering, afterward took them at their word, and put them to death, lest they should break their vow, and prove perjured persons.
Having recalled one from exile which had been long banished, he demanded of him, What he was wont to do there? Who made answer thus by way of flattery, I prayed (quoth he) to the gods alwayes, that Tiberius (as now it is come to pass) might perish, and you become Emperor. Hereupon Caligula thinking that those whom he had banished prayed likewise for his death, sent about into the Islands to kill them every one. Sueton.
In taking the review of Goals, & Prisoners therein, as they were sorted to their offences, he without once looking upon the title and cause of their imprisonment, standing only within a Gallery; commanded that all in the midst, à calvo ad calvum, that is, from one bald pate to another, should be led forth to execution. Sueton.
He was murthered at last himself,Only 28 years 4 moneths, and 24 dayes, Casaubon. who had put so many to death. He lived 29 years saith Suetonius, 39 Eutropius. He reigned three years, ten months, & eight dayes,There is a great difference among Chronographers, about the computation of his years. Three years, ten moneths, and eightteen dayes, saith Euseb. Doctor Willet on the Epist. to the Rom. say Suetonius and Eutropius; four years say Clemens, Tacitus, and Sextus Aurel. four years, ten months, and eight dayes, saith Beda; three years, nine moneths, 28 dayes, saith Dion; three years, eight moneths, and thirteen dayes, saith Tertullian; three years, six moneths, Iosephus; three years, nine moneths, 22 dayes, saith Epiphanius: but the whole time of his reign was three years, ten moneths, and eight dayes. They which give to him full four years, count the odde moneths and dayes for a whole year.
Valerius Asiaticus, who had been Consul, came forth among the people, who were in an uproar because of the rumors of the Emperors death,Ioseph. l. 19. of the Antiq. of the Jews c. 1. and supposing it a strange matter that no man knew who had slain the Emperor, whilst every one enquired who it was that had done the deed,Vtinam ego cum intefecissem Xiphilin. O, saith he, would it had been I that had done it!
His death concerned the security of the Lawes, and the safety of all men; and had he not been speedily cut off, Our Nation (saith Iosephus) almost had been utterly exterminated.
His monies were all melted by the decree of the Senate; as King Richard the thirds Cognizance the white Bore was torn from every signe, that his Monument might perish. Speed.