Select Observations of Roman Emperors 2, Part 1 · Emperor 5
Choyce Observations OF CLAVDIVS CAESAR.
AFter the death of Caligula, certain Souldiers in a hurry going to plunder the Pallace, one perceiving the feet of a man hidden in a hole, plucks him out by the heeles; this proves to be Claudius, who falling on his knees, and desiring his life might be spared, the Souldiers lift him on their shoulders, and proclaim him Emperour; This took so with the multitude, that the Senate for their own safety were fain to give way unto it.
In the fiftieth year of his Age he attained to the Empire, and he was the first of all the Caesars, Primus Caesarum fidem militis praemio pignoratus. Sueton.that obliged unto him the Souldiers fealty by a fee and reward.
His Mother Antonia was wont to call him, Portentum hominis, The Monster, and fantasticall shape of a man,Nec absolutum … Natura, sed inchoatum. as if he had not been finished, but onelyonly begun by Nature; and if she reproved any one for his foolishnesse,Su…onius. she would say, He was more sottish then her Son Claudius.
He was personable, and carried a presence not without Authority and Majesty. His countenance was lively, his gray haires beautifull, which became him well, with a good fat and round neck under them; yet many things disgraced him, viz. undecent laughter, and unseemly anger, by reason that hee would froth and slaver at the mouth, and had evermore his nose dropping, his head continually shaking, somewhat stammering in his speech.
He was inhumane towards strangers, and made an Edict forbidding all strangers, Romanorum gentilitia nomina ferre, to be called by the Roman names. Sueton.
He commanded all Jewes to depart from Rome, Acts 18. 2.
The Jewes (saith Suetonius) who by instigation of one*This some think is to be understood of Christians, whom we find in the Ecclesiasticall writers to be misnamed by the Ethnick Infidels Chrestians, like as Christ himself Chrestus in scorn. Chrestus, were evermore tumultuous, he banished Rome.
Acts 11. 28. there is mention made of a great Dearth throughout all the World, which came to passe in the dayes of Claudiu… Caesar, of which famine Eusebius, *Lib. 20. Antiq. c. 2.Iosephus, *Lib. 12. of his Annals.Tacitus, and Suetonius likewise speak.
There was a woman that would not acknowledge her own son, and when by evidences and arguments alledged pro & contra on both sides, the question rested in equall ballance doubtfull, he awarded that she should be wedded to the young man; and so forced her to confesse the truth, and to take him for her child.
One cryed out upon a forger of writings, and required that both his hands might be cut off;Sueton. he made no more ado, but forthwith called instantly to have the Hangman sent for, with his chopping-knife and Butchers block to do the deed.
The Lawyers were wont to abuse his Patience so much, that as he was going down from the Judgement Seat, they would not only call upon him to come back again, but also take hold of his Gown-lappet and skirt, yea and some while catch him by the foot, and so hold him still with them: one of the Graecian Lawyers pleading before him, in earnest altereation used these words, foreign, Et tu senex es & stultus. Thou art both old and fool besides.
Claudius invisae privato in tempore vitae,
In regno specimen prodidit ingenii.Ausonius.
Libertina ferens nuptarumque improba facta,
Non faciendo nocens, sed patiendo fuit.
Hee gave this counsell to a libidinous young man, Si non castè tamen cautè. And his Symbole was, Generis virtus nobilitas.
He was very forgetfull;Idem planè accidit H… di Magno, cum uxorem Mariamnem occidisset. Josephus Orig. lib. 10. c. 11. Casaubonus. when Messaliua was (by his own commandment) killed▪ within a while after he asked, Cur Domina non veniret? Why his Lady came not to him? Many of those whom he had condemned, the very morrow immediatly after he sent for, to hear him company at dice-play.
One of his Guests, who was thought to have closely stollen away a cup of Gold the day before,Sueton. he re-invited againe the morrow, and then set before him a stone-pot to drink in.
It is reported that he meant to set forth an Edict,Sueton. Quo veniam daret flatum crepitumque ventris in convivio emittendi, wherein he would give folk leave to break wind downward, and let it go even with a crack at the very board; having certain intelligence, that there was one who for manners and modesty sake, by holding it in endangered his own life.
Hence the Epigramme,
Edicto vetuit crepitus ructusque teneri
Claudius: ô medici Principis Imperium!
He played at Dice most earnestly,Suetonius. (concerning the Art and skill whereof he published also a little Book) being wont to ply the Game even whiles he was carried up and down, having his Caroch and Diceboard so fitted, as there might be no confusion nor shufling at all in play.
He was very timorous and pusillanimous at his first coming to the Empire;Erat Natur… performidolosus. Aurel. Vict. he durst not for certain dayes go to any feast, without Pensioners standing about him with their Spears and Javelins,Sueton. and his Souldiers waiting at the table; neither visited he any sick person, unlesse the Bed-chamber where the party lay was first searched: He would scarce suffer Attendants and Clarkes to carry their Pen-sheaths, and Pen-knife-cases.
He concealed not his foolishnesse, but gave it out, and protested in certain short Orations, that he counterfeited himself a fool for the nonce during Caius dayes, because otherwise he should not have escaped, nor attained to the Imperiall place which he aimed at,Claudius C… sar tumu…toantem Britanniam perdomuit, ab eo C…udiocestrium oppidum, quod nun… Glocestrium dicunt. and was then entred upon.
He sailed beyond Britain, and subdued the Orcades, added them to the Roman Empire, and called his Sons name,*Eutropius. Britannicus.
He was not uneloquent, nor unlearned, but was rather a great student in the Liberall Sciences. Hee wrote Histories, Livie being his Tutor. He had good skill in the Greek Tongue, professing as any occasion was offered, his affectionate love to it, and the excellency thereof. When a certain Barbarian discoursed in Greek and Latine; See you be skilfull (quoth he) in both our Languages.V…reque sermone nostro sis peritus.
It was generally thought that he was killed by poison; and it was a just Judgement of God upon him, for hee was so gluttonous and insatiable in eating and drinking, that he thought no time or place sufficient thereto; and ever did eat so much, that most commonly surfeiting,Others say, Agrippin… his wife tempered the poison in the meat which he most delighted in. viz a Mushrome. Infusum delectabili …ibo boletorum … Tacit. Annal. Bole…m medicatum avidissimo ciborum talium obtulit. Sueton. Whence Martial. Boletum, qualem Claudius edit, ed…. he used Vomits to di…charge his stomack, putting a feather into his throat; in which feather some Authors affirm that poison was given him.
The Virgin Mary dyed in his time, in the 59. year of her age, saith Nicephorus.
He lived 64. yeares, say some: 63. yeares, 2. months, and 13. dayes, saith Casaubon.
He reigned 13. yeares,13. yeares, 9. moneths, and 7. daies, saith Tertul. 8. moneths, and 20. dayes, say Dio, and Josephus. He reigned 14. yeares, according to Tacitus, Suetonius, Clem. Alexand. Eutrop. Orosius. 13. yeares 8. moneths, and 20. dayes after Eusebius. 14. yeares,Doct. Willet. 7. moneths, and 28. dayes after Beda. But the whole time of his reigne was 13. yeares, 8. moneths, and 20. dayes. They which do give unto him 14. yeares, doe count the odde moneths for a whole year.