Select Observations of Roman Emperors 2, Part 1 · Emperor 4
Choyce Observations OF CAIVS CALIGVLA.
SOme say this name of Caligula was given him, for a certain kind of shooe called Caliga, used among men of warre, and worn by him; or he got it by occasion of a merry word taken up in the Camp,Suetonius Quia natus in exercitu suerat, cognomen…um calceamenti milit…ris, i e. Caligulae …ortitu… est. Aurel. Vict. because he was brought up there in the habit of an ordinary and common souldier among the rest.
Cajus, cognomen Caligae cui castra dederunt.
Ausonius.
He carried himself well before he was Emperour, so that it was said of him, Nec servum meliorem ullum, nec deteriorem Dominum fuisse. There was never a better servant, and a worse Master.
He was very tali of stature, pale and wan-coloured, of body somewhat grosse and unfashionable, his eyes sunk in his head, and his Temples were hollow, his fore-head was broad, the hair of his head grew thin, in all parts else he was hairy and shagged, and therefore it was a capitall offence, either to look upon him as he passed by, from an higher place, or once but to name a*Suctonius. It was held crimen… laesae Majestatis, against his Imperiall person. Speed. Vultus horridus. Sueton. Torserat per omnia quae in rerum natura tristissima sunt, fidiculis, Eculeo, igne, vultu suo. Seneca. lib. 3. de Ira. He said, that he did approve of nothing so much in his nature as his immodesty. Goat upon any occasion whatsoever. His face and visage being naturally stern and grim, he made of purpose more crabbed and hideous; composing and dressing it in a looking-glasse, all manner of waies to seem more terrible, and to strike greater fear. Being clad oftentimes with a cloake of needle-work, and embroidered with divers colours, and the same set out with precious stones; in a coat also with long sleeves, and wearing bracelets withall, he would come abroad into the City.
On a time esteeming it a thing correspondent to his greatnesse who was Emperor, to exact that superiority on the Sea, which was answerable to his Soveraignty on the Land, being to crosse the Sea between Puteoli a City in Campania, and Misenum another maritime town,Sueton. Novum & inauditum spectaculi genus. he caused a Bridge to be built betwixt one Cape of the Sea unto another, for the space of three miles and more, on which he commanded himself to be drawn in a Chariot, as if it were answerable to his Dignity.
Some are of opinion that he invented such a kind of Bridge in emulation of Xerxes, who not without the wonder of the world, made a Bridge of planks over Hellespont an arm of the Sea, somewhat narrower than this: Others, that by a bruit blazed abroad of some huge and monstrous piece of work, hee might terrifie Germany and Britain, upon which Countries hee meant to make warre.
He maintained his reputation with his Grand-father Tiberius, by no meanes but this; he shadowed his cruell mind with subtill modesty, and shewed not discontent either for the condemnation of his Mother, or the banishment of his Brethren: Pari habitu semper cum Tiberio, hand multum distantibus verbis, He did imitate him in his apparell, in his words, in all things as near as possibly he could.
He succeeded Tiberius in the Empire, but in cruelty farre exceeded him.Tacit. lib. 6. Annal. Thus farre forth as of a Prince (saith Suetonius,) relate we must as of a Monster.
He usurped the name of a god,Sueton. Aurel. Vict. commanding his subjects to dignifie him with more then humane honours;In his Temple stood an Idol of fine gold, of himself; which was daily clothed and adorned with the like garments which he then wore: Cuffe of Affectation. and ascending the Capitol, which among all he Temples in Rome is most religiously honoured, he was so bold as to salute Jupiter, and to call him brother.
—Divûmque sibi poscebat honores.
He sent Petronius with an Army to Ierusalem, commanding him to set his statue in the Temple, and if the Jewes refused to receive it, that those who withstood him he should put to the sword, and lead the rest captive;Ioseph. l. 18. Antiq. c. 11. & 2. de belle Iudai…. c. …. but partly by Petronius his prudence, and through Aristobulus his intercession with him, and King Agrippa's with Caligula, it was hindered.
The like is in the 21. lib. of Tacitus, where he thus writeth of the Jewes, Sub Tiberio quies, deinde jussi a Caio Caesare effigiem ejus in Templo locare, arma potius sumpsere; quem motum mors Caesaris diremit.
He gave it out openly,Suetonius. that his own Mother was begotten by Incest which Augustus committed with his own daughter Iulia.
He caused his Brother Tiberius to be slain,Suetonius. and reserved his Uncle Claudius (who was his Successour in the Empire) for nothing else, but to make him his laughing-stock.
Many of honourable rank were by him put to death, and sawed asunder in the midst,Per Genium Principis Romanos jurare solitos, testes sunt Iurisconsulti nostri, quemad-modum & per salutem Principis, & per Principis venerationem. Schildius in Calig. because they had no good opinion of his shewes, or had not sworn by his Genius.
An ordinary thing it was at Rome to swear by the Genius, as also by the Fortune, and the health of their Emperours. And what a devout Oath was this, Per Genium, that is, the spirit or superintendent Angell of the Prince? which I take to be as much as his own good self, as appeareth by Tertullian, Citius apud vos per omnes Deos, quam per Genium principis, Apologet. c. 28.peseratur, Doct. Holland in Annotat. in Sueton.
He forced Parents to be present at the execution of their own children.Suetonius.
And when one Father excused himself by reason of sicknesse, he sent a litter for him. Another of them immediately after the heavy spectacle of his Son put to death, he invited to his own board, made him great cheer,Suetonius. and by all manner of courtesie provoked him to jocondnesse and mirth.
When his Grand-mother Antonia seemed to give him some admonition, Memento, ait, omnia mihi in omnes licere.
When he had at one time condemned a sort of Frenchmen and Greeks together, he made his boast, That he had subdued Gallo-graecia, a Nation mixt of French and Greekes.
After he had well drunk and eaten, hee took pleasure to cast his friends into the Sea, from on high from a bridge which he built at Puteoli before mentioned, and caused many to be drowned which sought to save them. Dion. lib. 50. of his Hist. Suetonius in Calig. cap. 32.
He would not permit any to suffer death, but after many strokes given, and those very softly. His Command being generally and commonly known,Ita in bello civili Mariano, Marius quidam particulatim amputatus, diu vivere vel potius diu mori coactus est, ut inquit eleganter Augustin lib. 3. de civ. Dei. Schildius. Ita seri ut se mori sentiat, Strike so, that they may feel themselves dying, and endure the paines of an enduring death.
IIe executed on a time one whom he had not appointed to dye, by errour only, and mistaking his name: but it makes no matter, quoth he, for even he also hath deserved death.
A certain Citizen of Praetors degree, desired oftentimes from the retiring place where he was at Anticyra (into which Isle he went for his healths sake) to have his Licence continued; but he gave order he should be killed outright, adding these words therewith, That blood-letting was necessary for him who in so long time had found no good by Hellebore, Hellebore that groweth in the …sle Anticyra, is of most effectuall operation; the root is that whereof is made our sneesing powder, it purgeth extremely by vomit; thereupon ariseth the Proverb, Naviget Anticyram, that is, Let him sail to Anticyra; applyed to one that is melancholike in the highest degree, and little better then mad. See Plinies naturall Hist. l. c. 342.that is, by purging.
Being highly displeased upon a time with the multitude, for favouring the contrary faction to his, would God (quoth he) that the people of Rome had but one neck,At tu (inquit) unam cervicem habes, nos verò …anus multas. meaning to chop them off at one blow; Vox carnifice quàm Imperatore dignior. Xiphil. A speech fitter for an Hang-man then an Emperour: Over whom the people of Rome afterward insulted, being kild by Chareas.
He was wont openly to complain of the unhappy condition of his time wherein he lived,Queri de conditione temporum suorum solebat, quod nullis calami…atibus publicis insignirentur, Su…ton. as not renowned by any publick calamities; that his Government was like to be forgotten by the calm and prosperous current of all things, and therefore he would often wish for the overthrow of his Armies, Famine, Pestilence, Fire, Earthquakes, and the like.
Nonnunquam horreis praelusis populo famem indixit.Suetonius.
He proclaimed a famine without scarcity.
While he was at his recreations and disports, he practised the same cruelty both in word and deed; oftentimes as he sate at dinner, some were examined upon the Rack in his presence, and others had their heads struck off.
His saying was, Oderint dum metuant, Let them hate me, so they fear me.
Being one day very free at a great feast, he suddenly brake forth into a great laughter, and the Consuls who were next him, demanding whereat he laughed so, his answer was, Quid, nisi uno meo nutu jugulari utrumque vestrûm statim posse? At what else (quoth he) but this, that with one nod of my head I can have both your throats cut immediately?
As oft as he kissed the neck of his Wife or Concubine, he would commonly adde, Tam bona cervix, Suetonius. Dirissimae immanitatis dictum; sed in Historia Turcarum factum legimus hoc etiam dicto crudelus.simulac jussero, demetur. As fair and lovely a neck as this is, off it shall go if I do but speak the word.
He complained of the iniquity of the time, that one doubting to be poysoned of him, did take counterpoison, or a remedy against it; what sayes he, Antidotum adversus Caesarem? Schildius in Calig. vide plura ibid.Is there any Antidote against Caesar?
His cruelty (as Dion saith) was not imputed to his Father or Mother, but to his Nurce, which was a most cruell woman herself, and used to rub her breast nipple with blood, causing him to suck it; which he practised also afterwards, for he did not onelyonly delight in the committing of many Murders, but through his insatiable desire of blood, would with his tongue suck and lick of the blood that stuck upon the sword or dagger.
Videtur Natura edidisse, De Cons. ad Helviam. c. 9.(saith Seneca) ut ostenderet quid summa vitia in summa fortuna possent. Nature seemed to have brought him forth, to shew what effects the greatest vices joyned with the greatest fortune could produce.
And it may justly be verified of his times, what Senecca saith in another place,In his Preface to his fourth book of naturall questions. Res humanas sub illo in eum statum decidisse, ut inter misericordiae opera haberetur occidi. Under him things were brought to that passe, as it was reckoned amongst the workes of mercy to be slain.
De quo nescio an decuerit memoriae prodi,Aurel. Vict. nisi sorte quia juvat de Principibus nosse omnia, ut improbi saltem famae metu talia declinent.
Concerning whom (saith Aurel. Victor) I know not whether it shall be meet to have recorded any thing, but that peradventure it is expedient to know all things of Princes, that wicked men at least with fear of the report may decline such things.
He was very expert in the Greek, and vulgar Roman Tongues. He was also of a fluent speech, and if he had been to plead and declaime against one, when he was angry once, he had both words and sentences at will: when he was about to make an Oration, his manner was to threaten in these termes,Peroraturus stricturum se …ucubrationis suae telum mi…abatur. Sueton. viz. That he would draw forth and let drive at his adversary, the keen weapon and dart of his night-study by Candle-light.
He would have removed the writings of Virgi… and Livie out of all Libraries; he said, Virgil was a man of no wit, and very mean learning, and taxed Livie of verbosity, and negligence in penning his History.
He said,Minutissimis senten…iis rerum fregit pondera, saith Quintilian of Seneca. Sueton. Seneca's works were Arena sine calce, Sand without Lime, because he often spoke short Sentences, having no connexion amongst themselves.
Nepotinis sumptibus omnium prodigorum ingenia superavit. In riotous and wastfull expences he exceeded the wits and inventions of all the prodigall spend-thrifts that ever were,Commentus portentosissima genera ciborum atque coenarum. Sueton. inventing most monstrous kinds of meats, and making sumptuous Feasts. He would drink off most precious and costly Pearls dissolved in Vinegar. Luxus fuit portentosi, ut qui etiam panes deauratos habuerit. He spent in one year two Millions, and 700000. of Sestertiums. He would set before his Guests, loaves of Bread and other viands all of*Which had a glorious sight to look on, yet there was nothing for the contentation of Nature: so the Papists set their glittering service of Heb. Gr. and Lat. before the people, a goodly shew to gaze on, and wonder at. Bish. Iewel. Cael, Rhodig. Suetonius. Gold, saying commonly withall, Aut frugi hominem esse oportere, aut Caesarem, That a man must either be frugall, or else Caesar.
He held the wills of great men as void and of no effect,Hic non toto vertente anno sex millia septingenta & quinquaginta myriadum aureorum prodegit. …ael. Rhod. in case any person would come forth and say, That they purposed and intended at their death to make Caesar their Heir; he declared also by an Edict, that he would receive New-yeares gifts, and so he stood the first day of Ianuary in the entrie of his house,Iect. Antiq. l. 20. c. 14. ready to take what pieces of money soever came, which the multitude of all sects and degrees,Contrectandae pecuniae cupidine incensus. Saepe super immensos aureorum acervos patentissimo diffusos Ioco, & nudis pedibus spatiatus, & toto corpore aliquandiu volutatus est. Sueton. with full hands and bosomes powred out before him; nay, he took such delight in handling of mony, that oftentimes he would both walk bare-footed up and down, yea, and wallow also a good while with his whole body upon huge heapes of coyned pieces of gold spread here and there in a most large open place.
There were in his secret Cabinet found two Bookes, bearing divers titles. The one had for the inscription,These things were found after his death. Pugio à pungendo, quis punctim potius quam caesim vulnerat. Sueton. Gladius, the Sword; the other, Pugio, i. e. the Dagger, or Rapier; They contained both of them the markes and names of such as were appointed unto death. There was found beside, a big chest full of divers and sundry poisons, which soon after being by Claudius drowned in the Sea, infected and poisoned the same, and many Fishes were killed therewith, which the Tide cast into the next shores.
He set light by the gods, and threatned the Aire if it rained upon his Game-players, Quanta dementia fuit? putavit aut sibi noceri ne a Iove quidem posse, aut se nocere & Iovi posse. Senec. de Ira. lib. 1. cap. 16. How great madnesse was it to think that either Iupiter could not hurt him, or that himself could hurt Jupiter?See before in the life of Augustus and Tiberius. Yet notwithstanding at the least thunder and lightning he used to wink close with both eyes, to enwrap also and cover his whole head; but if the same were greater and somewhat extraordinary, he would start out of his Bed, and hide himself under the Bed-sted.
Dion reporteth of two, that when the Emperour was sick, thinking to get much as a reward for their great love to the Emperour, vowed, that on condition he might live, they themselves would dye to excuse him; he recovering, afterward took them at their word, and put them to death, least they should break their vow, and prove perjured persons.
Having recalled one from exile which had been long banished, he demanded of him, What he was wont to do there? Who made answer thus by way of flattery, I prayed (quoth he) to the gods alwayes, that Tiberius (as now it is come to passe) might perish, and you become Emperour. Hereupon Caligula thinking that those whom he had banished prayed likewise for his death, sent about into the Islands to kill them every one. Sueton.
In taking the review of Goales, and Prisoners therein, as they were sorted to their offences, he without once looking upon the title and cause of their imprisonment, standing onelyonly within a Gallery, commanded that all in the midst, à calvo ad calvunt, that is, from one bald pate to another, should be led forth to execution. Sueton.
He was murthered at last himself, who had put so many to death.OnelyOnly 28. yeares, 4. moneths, and 24. dayes, Casaubon. There is a great difference amōg Chronographers, about the computation of his years. Three years, ten moneths, and eighteen dayes, saith Euseb. Doctor Willet on the Epist. to the Rom. He lived 29. years saith Suetonius, 39. Eutropius. He reigned three years, ten moneths, and eight dayes, say Suetonius and Eutropius; four years say Clemens, Tacitus, and Sextus Aurel. four years, ten moneths, and eight dayes, saith Beda; three years, nine moneths, 28. dayes, saith Dion; three years, eight moneths, and thirteen dayes, saith Tertullian; three years, six moneths, Iosephus; three years, nine moneths, 22. dayes saith Epiphanius: but the whole time of his reigne was three yeares, ten moneths, and eight dayes. They which give to him full four yeares, count the odde moneths and dayes for a whole year.
Valerius Asiaticus, who had been Consul, came forth among the people, who were in an uproar because of the rumours of the Emperours death,Ioseph. l. 19. of the Antiq. of the Jews. c. 1. & supposing it a strange matter that no man knew who had slain the Emperour, whilst every one enquired who it was that had done the deed,Vtinam ego eum intefecissem. Xiphilin. O, said he, would it had been I that had done it!
His death concerned the security of the Lawes, and the safety of all men; and had he not been speedily cut off, Our Nation (saith Iosephus) almost had been utterly exterminated.
His monies were all melted by the decree of the Senate; as King Richard the thirds Cognizance the white Bore was torn from every signe, that his Monument might perish. Speed.