The True Interest of Families, Duty 2
2. Duty, to obey their Parents.
Secondly, Children are to obey their Parents, to do what they bid them. See this in the Example of Joſeph, when Jacob ſent him to his Brethren, Gen. 37.13, 14. And Iſrael ſaid unto Joſeph, Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem? Come, and I will ſend thee unto them: And he ſaid to him, Here am I. And he ſaid to him, Go, I pray thee, ſee whether it be well with thy brethren, and well with the flocks, and bring me word again: ſo he ſent him out of the vale of Hebron, and he came to Shechem. The Commands of Parents are either about the ſame things which God hath commanded, or they are about things indifferent, or about things unlawful. If they are about the ſame things which God hath commanded, they are ſo much the more to be obeyed; as being the will and pleaſure both of their Father in Heaven, and of their earthly Parents. In this caſe the obligation to obedience is double. Secondly, If their Parents Commands are about things indifferent, that is, which are neither commanded, nor forbidden by God, Children are likewiſe to obey them: God hath made it their Duty ſo to do, Col. 3.20. Children obey your Parents in all things; for this is well pleaſing unto the Lord. This obedience is very acceptable to him; he takes great pleaſure and delight in it, to ſee thoſe obeyed and ſubmitted to, whom he hath appointed to be, as it were, in his own ſtead; whom he hath cloathed with ſome beams of Divine Power; whom, with relation to their Children, he hath made, in ſome ſenſe, ſacred perſons; whoſe Will ought to be a Law unto them, tho' only in the Lord. For, Thirdly, if the thing commanded be plainly unlawful, they are to refuſe complacence therewith; becauſe they are bound to obey God rather than man, rather than Father or Mother; rather than all the World: Their obligations to God are much greater than to their Parents; he is the Maker both of them, and of their Parents; they live by his Bounty, the Earth they tread on is his; the Air they breathe in, the Heavens that cover them, the food they eat, the water they drink, the garments that cloath them, and all other things which they enjoy for their benefit and comfort in the World, are the Lord's: He is their great Maſter, who appoints them their buſineſs in the World, and aſſures them of a reward; he alſo will reckon with them, and either reward, or puniſh them according to their works; and therefore his Commands are to be preferred to thoſe of all others.
But even in this caſe, Children are to expreſs, in their very denial and refuſal of obedience, all that Honour and Reſpect to their Parents, that's poſſible; that they may ſee it is not ſtubbornneſs, but the fear of God, which makes them diſobey. By this means Parents may perhaps be convinced, and made ſenſible of their ſin, and prevailed with to ſhun thoſe evil things, which they ſee their very Children do ſo much hate and abhor, and wherein they refuſe to obey.
Againſt ſtubborn and diſobedient Children.If Children are thus bound by the Laws of Heaven, to obey their Parents; what ſhall be ſaid of thoſe, who make no account of their Parents Commands, but ſet at naught all their Admonitions and Counſels; who will not follow their Directions, and be governed by them for their own good; but do follow their own humor & fancy, and the examples and cuſtoms of others like themſelves? What a ſad mark is this of approaching ruine, and of heavy Judgments, which hang over the heads of ſuch ungodly Children, as you may ſee in the Sons of Ely, 1 Sam. 2.25. of whom it is ſaid, that they hearkened not unto the voice of their Father, becauſe the Lord would ſlay them.
By the Law of Moſes, the ſtubborn Son was to be put to death, Deut. 21.18, 19, 20, 21. If a man have a ſtubborn and rebellious ſon, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that when they have chaſtened him, will not hearken unto them: Then ſhall his father and mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the Elders of his City, and unto the gate of his place: And they ſhall ſay unto the Elders of his City, This our ſon is ſtubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice: He is a glutton and a drunkard. And all the men of his City ſhall ſtone him with ſtones, that he die: ſo ſhalt thou put evil away from among you, and all Iſrael ſhall hear and fear.
In ancient times, in moſt Countries, Parents had an abſolute power over their Children, to puniſh them as they thought good, for their diſobedience and other faults: And when amongſt the Romans they leſſened this power, yet they did it at firſt only in part; The Father was enjoyned to preſent his diſobedient Child to the Judge, that he might be puniſhed; and the Judge was to pronounce ſuch a Sentence as the Father thought fit. This came ſomewhat near the Law of Moſes. By this it appears, what the ſenſe of Mankind was concerning the exceeding greatneſs of the crime of ſtubbornneſs and diſobedience in Children to Parents.