Advice to Children, Appendix – Introduction 2
An Appendix concerning the Duties of Children to their Step-Parents.
The Duties of Children to their Step-Parents.HAving ſpoken of the Duties of Children to their Natural Parents, I ſhall add a few things concerning their Duties to their Step-Parents.
Children ought to honour their Step-Parents, to carry themſelves Reſpectfully towards them, and to avoid every thing, either in words or deeds, which has an appearance of Neglect and Contempt.
They ought to Obey them, and to ſhew great readineſs to ſerve them, in any thing that is in their power to do for them; and to avoid whatever looks like ſtubbornneſs, eſpecially in ſuch things, wherein their Natural Parent requires them to be Obedient to their Step-Parent.
They ought to carry themſelves kindly and lovingly towards them, and to avoid whatever looks like Hatred or Malice.
They ought to ſubmit to their Reproofs, and to their Chaſtenings, eſpecially when their Natural Parent deſires the Step-Parent to reprove or correct them for their faults.
They ought to hearken to their Admonitions, to follow their good Counſels and Examples, and to be thankful for whatever they either do or ſay for their benefit and advantage.
They ought to bear patiently with my thing, in their humour and temper, that is not ſo ſweet and pleaſant; and to beware, leſt they be thereby provoked, to do or ſay what becometh not Children, towards thoſe who are in the place of Parents to them.
As to theſe particular Duties, I thought it needleſs to ſay much, having treated of them more fully in the preceeding Diſcourſe, about Childrens Duties to their Natural Parents: I ſhall therefore in the next place propoſe
Some Motives to ſtir up Children to be Dutiful to their Step-Parents.
Some Motives to ſtir up Children to be Dutiful to them.The firſt thing which ſhould prevail with Children to carry themſelves Dutifully towards their Step-Parents, is the regard that is due to the Laws of God, whereby it is declared that Man and Wife are no more twain, but one Fleſh; They are, by Marriage, united in the neareſt and cloſeſt manner that can be. From whence it follows, by a very Natural Conſequence, that 'tis the Duty of Children to carry themſelves in the moſt reſpectful and loving manner, that is poſſible, towards thoſe who are, by Marriage, made one with their Natural Parents.
2dly. The Reſpect and Love that Children owe to their Natural Parents, oblige them to ſhew the utmoſt Reſpect, and all ſincere Affection, to thoſe whom they have taken into ſo near a Relation with themſelves. We ſee what the Laws of Friendſhip do amongſt Men, who are very careful to ſhew all poſſible Reſpect and Kindneſs to thoſe, for whom their Friends have a great Value and Affection. How much more ought Children to love, honour, and ſerve thoſe whom their Parents have made one with themſelves, by chuſing them into ſo near and cloſe a Relation and Union.
3dly. Does not even Prudence oblige them to all this? Is not this the way to ingage their Step-Parents to be reſpectful, kind, and ſerviceable to them, and ready to do them all good Offices? Tho' there are ſome Step-Parents of ſo barbarous and Savage a Temper, that nothing can oblige them, or work upon them; yet there are but few, in compariſon, who will not be affected and prevailed upon with Kindneſs, Reſpect, and good Offices, eſpecially when they are not for a ſhort time, but of long continuance.
4thly. Does not Self-Love likewiſe oblige Children to do theſe things? This is the way for them to make their lives eaſie and comfortable, to enjoy a great deal of Peace, and contentment of Mind: When they reflect upon their having done what is ſuitable to the Laws of Religion, to the Rules which the Wiſdom from above layeth down, it muſt needs afford them a very ſenſible Pleaſure and great Satisfaction; whereas, by carrying themſelves undutifully, they bring upon themſelves a great deal of Vexation and Trouble; they not only alienate more and more the Affection of their Step-Parents, but they likewiſe provoke their Natural Parents to be leſs kind to them, if not quite to turn their Backs upon them.
From what hath been ſaid, it appears how great reaſon Children have to carry themſelves with great Reſpect and Love, and with all poſſible Dutifulneſs towards their Step-Parents. Againſt thoſe who are undutiful towards their Step-Parents.How greatly therefore are they to be blamed, who make no Conſcience of doing their Duty towards them? There are many who make it their buſineſs to vex and torment their Step-Parents, to affront them, and to diſgrace them: They are very ready to aggravate all their Weakneſſes and Imperfections, and do thereby endeavour to cauſe others to hate and to deſpiſe them; they invent too often a great many things which they charge them with, that ſo they may by any means, tho' never ſo wicked and unjuſt, render them odious and infamous. And, which is worſt of all, they do all that ever they can, by the moſt impious arts that malicious and Deviliſh Wit can contrive, to alienate from them the affections of their Natural Parents, and to ſet them together by the ears; by which means very dreadful and Tragical Effects do oft-times follow, when Husband and Wife are inflamed one againſt another. Where Envying and Strife is, ſaith St. James, Chap. 3. v. 16. there is Confuſion and every evil Work. How often do ſuch Diſcords and Diviſions end in the utter Ruin and Deſtruction both of Parents and Children? Every Houſe divided againſt it ſelf, ſaith our Saviour, Mat. 12.25. ſhall not ſtand. And therefore, let all thoſe who have any regard to the Honour of God, who have any thing of ſincere Affection to their Natural Parents, who deſire to live in Peace, who wiſh well to the Families to which they belong, and are willing to prevent their utter Ruin and Deſolation, let all ſuch, I ſay, as have any ſenſe of theſe things, be careful to behave themſelves with all due Reſpect and Love towards thoſe who are in the place of Parents to them. By doing whereof, as they will gain the Love and Reſpect of all who are wiſe and good, ſo they may be aſſured of obtaining from God great and laſting Bleſſings, which he never fails to beſtow on all thoſe who ſincerely endeavour to Obey his Laws, and who ſeek his Glory.
A DISCOURSE About the RIGHT WAY Of Improving our TIME.
By James Kirkwood, Rector of Aſtwick in Bedfordſhire.
The Second Edition Corrected and Enlarged.
LONDON, Printed for John Tayler at the Ship in St. Paul's Church-Yard, and John Everingham at the Star in Ludgate-Street, near the Weſt-End of St. Pauls. 1693.
Epheſ. V. 16.
Redeeming the time, becauſe the days are evil.
The Introduction.OF all the outward Bleſſings, which God beſtows upon us, there is none ſo valuable and precious as our Time. God beſtows upon us his other Bleſſings in great variety and plenty; but in this he ſeems to be more ſparing, for it is given us not in large proportions, but as it were drop by drop, one minute after another; never two minutes together: whenever he gives us one, he takes away another. And yet how ſtrange is it to think, that a great many ſpend their time in Vanity and Folly! Time is to many like a dead Commodity; they cannot tell what to do with it; they are ready to throw it away for nothing, or for that which is little better: inſtead of improving and uſing it in virtuous and profitable actions and deſigns, they waſte it in trifling and vanity, which is an Argument of the greateſt Folly; as on the other hand, the right husbanding of Time, is a great Inſtance of true Wiſdom.
The Text explained.The Apoſtle having exhorted the Epheſians to walk circumſpectly, not as fools, but as wiſe, he immediately ſubjoins [Redeeming the time.] Intimating thereby, that there is no better way for us to ſhew our ſelves wiſe, than by employing our time to good purpoſe, Redeeming and buying it; or, as ſome read the words, Buying the Opportunity, or a fit occaſion and ſeaſon for doing good. It is a Metaphor taken from Merchants, who, when they have a great likelyhood and probability, of making conſiderable gain and advantage in buying and ſelling, part with their pleaſures, or leſſer cares and concerns, that they may make a good bargain, and purchaſe that which they greatly deſire. So the Chriſtian, the Man that is good and wiſe, ought to deny himſelf in his Pleaſures and outward delights, or even in his ordinary affairs and concerns, when he has any great proſpect of doing ſomewhat conſiderable, for the glory of God, the good of his Neighbour, and the benefit of his own Soul.
The reaſon which the Apoſtle uſeth, is, [Becauſe the days are evil] that is, either bad and ſinful, full of wickedneſs and folly; ſo that it is very hard and difficult then to be good, when ſin, like a violent and impetuous Torrent, carries all down before it: This ought to make you redeem all occaſions of doing good, that you may fortifie others in Virtue and Piety, that you may reſcue thoſe that are carried down the ſtream by bad Example, and may build up your ſelves in Holineſs, and that you may be made ſtrong in the Lord, and in the Power of his Might. Or [Becauſe the days are evil] may relate to the danger you are in through the fury and malice of your Enemies, who are ready to do you all the miſchief that is in their power; the ſenſe whereof ſhould make you improve all occaſions of doing good, not knowing how ſoon you may be deprived of your preſent happy opportunities and ſeaſons for working.
The deſign of this Diſcourſe, is, to ſhew you; 1ſt, How you are to redeem your Time: And, 2dly, To propoſe ſome Conſiderations to excite you to do ſo.