Advice to Children, Conclusion 1
The Concluſion, ſhewing how Children ought to improve what hath been ſaid.
From what hath been ſaid, Children may ſee how great reaſon they have to perform all thoſe Offices of Love, Honour, and Subjection to their Parents, that God requires of them. It remains that they ſeriouſly and impartially conſider, what their practice has been, and whether they have done thoſe things which God requires them to do towards their Father and Mother.
That you may do this to good purpoſe, it's fit that you employ ſome time in looking back on your Lives, in conſidering how you have honoured, loved, and obeyed your Parents; that you may ſee, whether you have carried your ſelves towards them, in words and deeds, as became good Children, who have a ſenſe of Religion; or whether you have not diſhonoured, neglected, and diſobeyed them.
If upon Examination of your ſelves, you find that you have done your Duty; that you have ſincerely endeavoured to obey them in all things; that you have loved them heartily, and payed them that Reſpect which you knew was due unto them: Bleſs God, who hath given you to will and to do according to his good Pleaſure. But becauſe there are defects and imperfections, which cleave to our exacteſt performances, therefore it is needful that you beg of God to forgive you, wherein ſoever, through Ignorance, you have been faulty or defective in thoſe Duties you owed them.
But if upon inquiry into your Hearts and Lives, you find that you have wilfully neglected to do what you ought to have done; if inſtead of honouring them, you have diſhonoured them, you have ſlighted and deſpiſed them, you have mocked and ſcorned them, you have reviled and reproached them; if inſtead of obeying them, you find that you have been ſtubborn and diſobedient to them, you have refuſed to follow their Counſels and Admonitions, you have done your own Will, and followed your own vain humour and fancy, in contempt of their Will; if inſtead of ſubmitting to their Corrections and Chaſtenings, you have refuſed ſubmiſſion to them, and perhaps have rebelled againſt them; if inſtead of loving them, you have hated them, and wiſhed, and deſired their Death; if inſtead of relieving them in their wants, and ſupplying them with what was neceſſary for them, you have waſted their ſubſtance by your riotous and extravagant Living, you have put off all bowels of compaſſion and tenderneſs towards them; if, I ſay, you find that you have thus carried your ſelves towards them, in a way ſo contrary to your Duty, how ought you to lament and mourn for your wickedneſs and folly? How ought you to accuſe your ſelves for your great iniquity, and to aggravate your Crimes by all juſt and fit conſiderations?
You may in this manner expoſtulate the caſe with your ſelves: What a ſad and unworthy Wretch am I, who have thus diſhonoured, hated, and diſobeyed my dear Parents, who are under God the Authors of my Being in the World, to whom I owe that I am! who have proved ſo undutiful to them who took care of me, when I could not take care of my ſelf; who fed and cloathed me, who were at ſo great pains and charge for me, who have employed ſo much of their time and ſtrength to provide for me all neceſſary things; and yet that I ſhould prove ſo wicked as to deſpiſe them, to diſobey them, and hate them, not to ſubmit my ſelf unto them, what baſe and wicked ingratitude is it! That I, who ſhould have been a Bleſſing to them, ſhould prove a Curſe! That I who ſhould have been a Comfort to them, ſhould he the cauſe of their grief and ſorrow! That I who ſhould have been a help unto them, ſhould be ſo great a hinderance! That I who ſhould have been the ſtay and ſupport of their Old Age, ſhould prove their ruine, and the cauſe of the ſpending of their days in anguiſh and trouble! What a prodigious impiety is this! What a wretched and abominable Creature am I, who have been guilty of ſuch horrid wickedneſs! Who have had ſo little regard to thoſe who are to me in God's ſtead here in the World! What puniſhment do I not deſerve! What a wonder is it that God hath ſpared me and pitied me, and hath not cut me off in the midſt of my diſobedience, neglect, and contempt of my dear Parents! That he hath not made me an Example to all others, and a ſtanding Monument of his juſt diſpleaſure! That he has not bound me hand and foot, and caſt me into utter darkneſs, and given me my portion with Hypocrites and Sinners; but hath lengthened out my years, and given me time and place to repent.
Having thus in your own minds expoſtulated the matter with your ſelves, you may in the next place adore and bleſs the Divine Goodneſs, the infinite Mercy, and aſtoniſhing Kindneſs of God towards you, in having ſpared and pitied you; in not dealing with you after your ſins, nor rewarding you after your iniquities; but that he hath been pleaſed to wait to be gracious to you. Humbly confeſs your faults and offences unto him; with great ſhame and confuſion of face, and with true grief and ſorrow of heart ackowledge your iniquities; make particular confeſſion, ſo far as you remember, of your ſtubbornneſs and diſobedience to your Parents, of your contempt and neglect of them, of your hating them, and wiſhing Evil to them, of your ſpeaking irreverently and wickedly to them, or of them, of your not ſubmitting to their Corrections, of your not heeding their Admonitions and Counſels, nor regarding their juſt Reproofs, &c. Beg of God, for Chriſt's ſake, to have mercy on you, and to blot out your Sins, and to make you what you ought to be.
After this, it is fit to form ſincere and hearty Reſolutions of doing your Duty, in all reſpects, to your Parents, for the time to come; of loving, honouring, obeying, and ſerving them, as you ought to do. Reſolve to amend whatever has been amiſs and defective either in your thoughts, words, or deeds, with relation to them. Beg of God, to ſtrengthen you in your Reſolutions; to fortifie you againſt all Temptations; to inſpire you with his Fear and Love; to guide you by his good Spirit; and that he would never leave you, nor forſake you.
If the Example and Society of other wicked Children has been an occaſion of making you ſo bad, and of hardening you in your Contempt, Stubbornneſs, and Diſobedience; reſolve to break off your Familiarities with them; let them and all others know, and ſee, that you are ſorry for your Diſobedience to your Parents; for your having diſhonoured, ſlighted, and neglected them; and that you are reſolved to do ſo no more; but will, by the help of God, approve your ſelves Dutiful, Kind, and Obedient Children.
Not only muſt you in this manner make your Humble and Penitent Confeſſion to Almighty God, your Heavenly Father, whom you have provoked, as by your other Sins, ſo particularly by your diſobedience to your Parents, and by your diſhonouring of them; but you muſt likewiſe confeſs unto your Parents the Crimes whereof you have been guilty againſt them; you muſt ſay as the Prodigal did, I will ariſe, and go to my Father, and will ſay unto him, Father, I have ſinned againſt Heaven, and before thee; and am no more worthy to be called thy Son, Luke 15.18,19. Let your Parents ſee that you are heartily ſorry for your Offences againſt them by Word or Deed; beg of them to forgive you, and deſire them to pray to God that he would forgive you.
You are to be careful after this, to fulfil your Purpoſes and Reſolutions, and to perform all thoſe Duties of Love, Honour, and Obedience to your Parents, wherein you were formerly ſo defective. For this end it is fit, daily and earneſtly to beg of God, that he would direct and aſſiſt you by his Holy Spirit, to do what is well-pleaſing in his ſight. It is neceſſary for you to be very jealous of your deceitful and deſperately wicked Hearts; to watch over them carefully, leſt they turn aſide towards your former crooked Ways; leſt you return with the Dog to the Vomit. Watch againſt all thoſe Temptations, whereby you are moſt in danger of being ſeduced, and intangled again in your former perverſe Practices and Cuſtoms.
As you have been formerly very negligent and defective in Honouring and Obeying your Parents, endeavour for the future ſo much the more, to perform all thoſe Duties which you owe unto them, with great care and exactneſs.
As you have been great Examples of Diſobedience, ſtrive to be ſo much the greater Patterns of Obedience. Endeavour to do all that you can, that they who have been, by your Counſels or Examples, corrupted, and made ſtubborn, and diſobedient, may be reformed, and reſcued from their Sins and Wickedneſs; that as you have been Inſtruments to promote Satan's Kingdom, ſo you may be zealous for the glory of God, for promoting Piety and true Virtue in the World, whereof this is no inconſiderable part, that Children Honour their Father and Mother, and do all thoſe Duties with chearfulneſs unto them, which God requires.
This is the way to obtain the divine pardon, to turn away his Wrath, and to keep off thoſe heavy Judgments which are threatned againſt ſtubborn Children, and ſuch who mock and ſcorn their Parents: Or if God ſee it fit to puniſh you here, he will make your Corrections and Puniſhments, and all other things, work together for your good; and after he hath tryed you, he will beſtow upon you rewards of everlaſting Life and Glory.
As for thoſe who are ſo perverſe as to deſpiſe all Counſel and Advice, who refuſe to hearken to any Inſtructions, who are reſolved to go on in their ſtubbornneſs and diſobedience to their Parents, in ſlighting and vilifying them; let them remember what the Wiſe Man ſaith, Eccleſ. 11.9. Rejoice, O young Man, in thy Youth, and let thine heart chear thee, in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the ſight of thine Eyes: But know thou, that for all theſe things, God will bring thee into Judgment.