The Young Mans Guide, Chapter 27
CHAP. XXVII. Sheweth how to carry our selves towards others.
II. ANother Duty incumbent on thee, which relateth to others, is this, Be affable and courteous unto all, avoiding all morose and supercilious behaviour. Religion requires Courtesie, as well as Piety; Good Manners together with Good Consciences. Many Moral men who have no saving grace, yet herein carry themselves like Christians. What a shame is it then for Christians, who have truth of Grace in them, not to carry themselves like Moral Men!
This will exceedingly grace your carriage, and make your company welcom, and acceptable unto all. Yea, it will win the hearts of all with whom you have to do, and even knit them unto you. Davids courteous carriage made all the servants of Saul to respect him: Yea it is said, All Israel and Judah loved him, 1 Sam. 18. 16.
On the other side, Churlishness, Bitterness, Testiness, and such other Vices, which are contrary to this Vertue, alienate mens minds from them; yea, and exasperate them against them.
But withal take notice, that this courtesie and gentleness must neither make thee an Hypocrite, and Dissembler, nor over-familiar with thy Inferiours, especially such as are in subjection under thee. For Gods Image, which all Superiours carry, must be respected of them, and accordingly must they carry themselves.
Nor yet must this make any over-remiss in reproving Offenders; for so would this comely Vertue be turned into an hurtful and dangerous Vice: indeed it serveth to sweeten reproofs, that they may be better accepted. Be courteous to all, but beware of connivence, much more of compliance with evil men in their sins. Let not pretence of being courteous, draw thee aside to be vicious.
III. Carry thy self humbly towards all men, thinking better of others, than of thy self. The truth is, that man who well knoweth himself, knoweth more of himself, of his own weakness and vileness, than he can know of most others; and therefore he may well have a meaner esteem of himself than of others, especially such as are of his Rank, and betwixt whom there is not too too palpable a difference. If he have apparently better gifts than others, yet his humble mind will make him think that others may have more true inward grace, and sincerity, because he knows more of the deceit of his own heart, than he can of others.
This Vertue of Humility, though it be primarily seated in the heart, yet from thence it extendeth it self to a mans outward conversation, and proves a most lovely and adorning Grace, which doth adorn our Christian Profession, and obtaineth favour both with God and Man: whereas a proud, haughty spirit, is hated both of God and Man. Solomon ranketh haughty eyes, in the first place, among such things as the Lord hateth, and his Soul abhorreth, Prov. 6. 17. As for man, he naturally hateth pride in another, though he love and like it in himself: which is a great condemnation of the sin of pride.
But as for the humble and lowly-minded man, he doth exceedingly gain the hearts and affections of others unto him. Humility is so comely and graceful a Grace, that it makes him who is decked therewith amiable, and gracious in every mans eye. Whereas none are more disdained than the proud, none are better respected both by God and Man, than the humble: for it is abundance of Grace that makes men humble, as it is abundance of Fruit that maketh Trees most bow. God highly prizeth them, and accordingly bestoweth his choicest graces on them. Men usually lay up their richest Wines in the lowest Cellars; and God lays up his choicest mercies in the lowest hearts. Yea God himself delights to dwell in the humble Soul, Isa. 57. 15. God hath but two Thrones, the highest Heavens, and the lowest hearts: He overlooks the frame of Heaven and Earth, to look on a poor, humble heart, Isa. 66. 1, 2. not with a bare look of intuition, but with a look of favour, complacency, and delight. Though the Lord be the most high, yet hath he respect to the lowly, Psal. 38. 6. They are Gods Iewels, in high esteem with him: yea they are Gods Glory, Isa. 4. 5. They give all glory to God; and therefore God loves to exalt them to honour. So that Humility is the readiest way to Honour.
Many make it the chief design, and the main business of their lives, to contrive how they may be great and honourable in the World; and often it is that Honour flies from them, as the shadow from him that pursues it. But if they would study to be humble, and so carry themselves towards all, they would find that the speediest way to exaltation. For saith Christ himself, Mat. 23. 12. Whosoever shall exalt himself, shall be abased, and he that shall humble himself, shall be exalted, even to honour here, if God sees it good for him; but howsoever to glory hereafter, which is the highest and best preferment; for (Mat. 5. 3) Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
True Humility stands in being low in our own eyes, and being content to be low in the eyes of others. Get this Heart humility, and that will prevent those thoughts which would puff thee up in thy self, and those lofty carriages which tend to set thee up in the World. Let it be thy care to approve thy self in all good Conscience towards God, and let him alone to take care of thy good name among men.
IV. Be as serviceable to others as thou canst. As it was the meat and drink of our blessed Saviour to be doing good unto others: So let it be thy meat and drink, even thy chief delight, to be doing all the good thou canst. Let not any opportunity of doing good slip out of thy hands, but as the Wise Man adviseth, Eccles. 9. 10. Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might; that is, whatsoever ability, or opportunity of service God affordeth unto thee, either in thy general or particular Calling, improve it with all care and diligence: endeavour with thy might to do all the good that possibly thou canst in thy Generation.
This we find was the mind of our Saviour; for, saith he, Joh. 9. 4. I must work the work of him that sent me, while it is day. Now what was the work of Christ, but to do all manner of good, as any opportunity was offered, whether by word or deed. The phrase used by the Evangelist, foreign, to work the work, is an Hebraism, and implieth a thorow acting or doing of a thing; a doing it heartily, and that with all care and diligence. Thus should we make it our chief care and endeavour, yea the main and principal work of our lives, to do all the good we can in the world, accounting that the happiest time in which we can do the most good. And surely it is the greatest honour we are capable of here, to be any way serviceable to God, and his people; and that which will bring much peace and comfort to our Souls and Consciences. Be not a man for thy self, be a common good, be willing to serve thy Generation. Let it not be said of thee, It had been as well for the World, if this man had never been born.