The Young Mans Guide, Chapter 25
CHAP. XXV. Sheweth the danger of bad Company, and the advantage of good Company.
IV. BE careful of thy Company, especially whom thou makest thy bosom and familiar friends; for that is a matter of exceeding great concernment to thy Spiritual Welfare. This I shall branch into two Heads.
1. Avoid the Society of wicked and prophane persons.
2. Desire and imbrace the Company of the Godly.
I. Avoid the Society of wicked men, which hath been the bane and ruine of thousands of Young Men. I do not say that all manner of Society with graceless and prophane persons is sinful and unlawful, and that thou oughts not to come at all into their company, nor to have any intercourse and commerce with them in buying, selling, and the like. But thy care must be to avoid all intimate society and familiarity, yea, and all needless and unnecessary conversing with them.
1. For first, It is exceeding dangerous without a just Warrant, and Calling, to be much in the company of wicked and prophane men, especially such as are Scoffers of Religion, and Traducers of good men, who by their loose Conversation, and continual railing against Religion, and the Professors thereof, will take off thine heart from all love and delight in holy and Religious exercises, and work in thee a distast and contempt of the ways of Godliness.
There is a secret and bewitching power in prophane company, to impoyson and pervert even the best disposition, sin being of a contagious nature, more infectious than the Plague; and the Soul much more catching of the contagion of sin, than the body of any infectious disease. It is a thing of great difficulty, ordinarily and intimately to converse with wicked men, and not to be tainted with their sins. For besides that they are apt to infect others, we are very apt to receive the infection, having the seeds of all sins remaining in us. Ioseph though he were a Vertuous Young Man, yet living in the Kings Court, soon learned to swear ordinarily by the Life of Pharaoh, Gen. 42. 13, 14.
Common experience telleth us, how many hopeful Young Men, who have blossomed fairly, and brought forth some good fruit, yet by frequenting the company of wicked and lewd persons, have proved very prophane and debauch'd. The Philosophers do well observe, that all waters, both in colour and taste, do participate of the nature and disposition of those grounds through which they pass. In like manner men do participate of the disposition and manners of those, with whom they frequently and familiarly converse.
2. It is not for the honour of Gods Children, to hold intimate society and … with wicked men; men being generally reputed to be of their temper and disposition with whom they ordinarily and intimately converse; according to that old Proverb, Birds of a feather will flock together. The company, in which thou delightest, sheweth what courses thou lovest, and what spirit thou art of. If therefore thou delightest in the company of lewd and prophane persons, thou hast cause to suspect that thine heart is not right. The beloved Disciple Iohn makes it a sign, That we are passed from Death to Life, if we love the Brethren, 1 Joh. 3. 14. And 'tis Love that makes their company delightful. And what sign is it in thee that lovest and associatest with the haters of the Brethren? Search and consider if this do not mark thee out for one whose Soul abideth in death.
Therefore, O Young Man, as thou desirest to keep up the credit of Religion, thine own Reputation with the godly, and the hopes of thine own uprightness with God, beware of evil workers, and as much as possible, keep out from among them. And whensoever thou dost occasionally fall among them, abide there with fear, not with pleasure, and no longer than needs.
3. By an unnecessary conversing with prophane men, thou makest thy self accessary to their sins, even to their Blasphemies, Ribauldry and Prophaneness. For by thy silence thou givest a secret consent to their wickedness, and so makest them thine own.
4. Intimate and needless society with the wicked, will make thee liable to their punishments. He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a Companion of Fools shall be destroyed, Prov. 13. 20. that is, whosoever partake with wicked men in their wicked ways and courses, shall assuredly partake with them in their punishments.
Therefore S. Iohn, as it is recorded of him, going to the Bath at Ephesus, there met Ebion, and Cerinthus, two blasphemous Hereticks, belching out their blasphemies against Christ: whereupon he made all the haste he could out of their company, fearing some eminent Judgment from the Lord to fall upon them. Who was no sooner departed, but presently the house fell down, and destroyed them with their Companions.
Ah Young Man, know assuredly, that if thou needlesly and frequently associatest thy self with wicked and prophane persons, thou wilt partake of their Plagues. If therefore thou art ingaged into evil company, speedily withdraw thy self from them. The Physitians rule, in reference to persons infected with the Plague, is good to be observed towards prophane company; Cito, Longe, Tarde.
1. Speedily flee from their company.
2. Flee far away.
3. Return slowly to them again.
Now Visited persons are not more infectious than lewd company; therefore as thou regardest the health of thy Soul,
1. Speedily flee from them.
2. Flee far away.
3. See them amend, before thou returnest to them again.
Never expect to be one of Christs true Disciples, till thou leave that accursed Fellowship. Hadst not thou better say to them, Depart from me, I will know you no more, than have Christ say to thee at the Great Day, Depart from me into everlasting fire, I know you not. For one of these will certainly be, if thou dost not here depart from thy lewd Companions, leaving their Society, thou must hereafter depart from Christ into Hell fire; where instead of roaring and singing, there will be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth.
But it is not only the company of dissolute, scandalous persons; as Drunkards, Swearers, and Scoffers of Religion that I would advise thee to shun; but even persons meerly civil, dead-hearted, formal Professors of Religion: Let not these be the Companions of thy choice, or thy Bosom Friends, who being unacquainted with the Mysteries of the Gospel, and the Power of Godliness, cannot minister any savoury profitable discourse to their hearers: So that whosoever shall frequently associate himself with such, neglecting the Communion of Saints, he will soon find his zeal for God, and the ways of godliness much cooled; his fervency in holy duties much abated; his love to God, and his people much lessened; yea, and an universal decay of his Graces insensibly to grow upon him. So that a Christian instead of proceeding forward in Religion, and growing in Grace, he will go backward, and find a spiritual decay in himself.
Therefore, O Young Man, in the choice of Friends for thine intimate Acquaintance, and familiar converse, seriously think of this.
II. Desire and imbrace the company of the Godly, who may further thee in the way to Heaven, make them thy familiar Friends and Companions. The more thou conversest with such, the greater increase wilt thou find in thy self of Knowledge, Faith, Love, Zeal, Humility, and other Graces. The very presence of a Religious Person, much more his gracious speeches, his holy advice, his seasonable reproofs, and his godly Conversation, will be a great help to thee in the way to Heaven. There is a certain vertue in the words and behaviour of men indowed with Heavenly Wisdom, which (by the blessing of Gods holy Spirit) doth work effectually on those who are conversant with them, for the inlightning their minds with the knowledge of God, and his Truths: for the inflaming their hearts with a love to God, and zeal for his glory.
O Young Man, thou canst not imagine what spiritual advantage may be got by conversing with holy gracious persons; especially if thou beest careful to treasure up those Christian experiences thou hearest from them, and what else may make for thy spiritual good. Thus will the Communion of Saints be improved to the edification of Saints.
Having done with the Directions which concern your selves in particular, I now proceed to such which relate to others.