Brief Exposition of Galatians and Ephesians, Exposition 2 · Chapter 5 · Verse and explication 29
Vers. 29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh: but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church:
HE proveth the consequence of the former argument, to wit, that husbands are to love their wives, because they are their own bodies, by three reasons. The first is taken from the universal custom of all men, to wit, who are in their right wit, not demented and wofully deluded by the devil: which is set down, first, negatively, no man did ever hate his own flesh, or from hatred did any dammage to it; and next, positively, every such man doth to his utmost provide for, and allow upon his own flesh, all things necessary, both for nourishing, or feeding it, and for cherishing and keeping it warm, with such a sort of care and tendernesse, as hens have toward their young ones, while, by casting their wings over them, they do with their own natural heat keep the young ones warm: for, the word rendered cherishing, is a mephor taken from the practice of those tender and loving creatures: By all which, he not only proveth that husbands should love their wives, as being their own body; but also hinteth at some of those effects, wherein their love should be made manifest, whereof particular mention shall be made among the Observations. Secondly, he proveth the same consequence, and also further cleareth with what care and tendernesse the husband should carry himself unto his wife, as to his own body, from Christs example, who nourisheth and cherisheth the Church, His body, by providing for her, and allowing on her all things necessary for soul and body. Doct. 1. It is no lesse monstruous and unnatural, for a man to hate, and from hatred to carry himself austerely, saucily and undutifully to his wife, than if in a fit of phrensie he should hate, and from hatred refuse to do all duty to himself; But in stead thereof to be cruel against himself: for, the Apostle mentioneth this, no man, not demented, did never hate his own flesh, to shew that therefore husbands ought as much to abhor and abstain from hating their wives; for no man ever yet hated his own flesh. 2. It is not sufficient that husbands do not carry any hatred to their wives, but they must also love them, and evidence their love to them, not in empty words, and flattering insinuations, but in providing all things necessary for them both in food and raiment: for, he holdeth forth indirectly the husbands duty to his wife, in that allowed care which every man hath, or ought to have of his own flesh; No man ever yet bated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it. 3. It is the duty of an husband to provide things necessary unto his wife, not grudgingly, or too sparingly, as to a stranger, or to his childe or servant; but liberally according to her rank and station, as being his equal; and confidently, without craving an exact accompt from her, of every thing which she receiveth, as having a common right and interest with him in all things that are his; and cheerfully, by testifying such contentment in her, even while he bestoweth things necessary on her, as he would do in bestowing the same or the like on himself: for, so much is implyed in a mans nourishing and cherishing of his own flesh, which is held forth as the rule of the husbands tender care and liberal benevolence toward his wife; but nourisheth and cherisheth it. 4. The husband, under pretence of cherishing his wife, ought not to pamper her, or lavishly to wast his estate in upholding her prodigality in apparel, unnecessary, expensive ornaments, and such like vanities; but the rule according to which he is to walk in those things, and more than which the wife ought not to expect from her husband, nor yet complaine if he come up to it, is what his own rank requireth, his necessity doth permit, and that tender care which is taken by him in nourishing and cherishing himself: for, this is here held forth as his rule, But nourisheth and cherisheth it, to wit, his own flesh. 5. Though there be an excessive pampering of the flesh, which is sinfull and forbidden, when provision is made for it to fulfill the lusts thereof, Rom. 13. 14. yet there is a lawfull and necessary care of the flesh, or of a mans own body, whereby things necessary for food and raiment are bestowed upon it, in so far, that health and strength be not inlacking for discharging the duties of our calling: for, Paul doth not condemn, but approve this custom among men, that no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it. 6. As Christs example in His dealing towards the Church, is a most excellent copie, to be eyed and imitated by husbands in their carriage toward their wives, and that not only in their love, but in all those other duties, flowing from love, which they owe unto them; So it doth concern both husbands and wives, to eye this pattern much, and to draw their motives and encouragements unto their mutuall duties from it, as that which will much conduce to keep their hearts in a spirituall frame, even in those performances, and to prevent that carnal, worldly disposition which the misguided care of performing such duties, as the married-state of life calleth for, doth usually contract: for, as he propounded Christs example, for a motive to, and pattern of the duty of love, ver. 25. so of those duties also, of nourishing and cherishing, which flow from it, in this verse, even as the Lord the Church. 7. A husbands care ought to extend it self not only to nourish and cherish his wife in things temporal, and which concern her body only, but also in things spiritual, and which concern her soul; and therefore he would be circumspect, lest (under pretence of eschewing all suspicion of displeasure with her, and of giving necessary tokens and evidences of his love and kindnesse to her, in order to his outward cherishing her) he do neither willingly neglect the care of her salvation, or by fondnesse or lightnesse incapacitate himself to do her any good in that respect: for, Christ doth nourish and cherish His Church, by taking care of, and providing mainly for, the souls and eternall state of His People; and husbands are commanded here to make Him their pattern, Even as the Lord the Church, saith he.