Brief Exposition of Galatians and Ephesians, Exposition 2 · Chapter 5 · Verse and explication 28
Vers. 28. So ought men to love their wives, as their own bodies: he that loveth his wife, loveth himself.
FOlloweth the second argument to inforce this duty of love upon husbands towards their wives, taken from the near conjunction betwixt husband and wife, which he doth propound in this verse, by shewing that the wife is the husbands body, in so far, as by the law of marriage (which shall be explained, ver. 30.) they two become one flesh; so that in loving her, he doth love himself, to wit, not so much, because his so doing tendeth to his own good and peace, (though that be also truth, Prov. 5. 17, 18, 19.) as that she is his own body, a piece of himself, yea and his whole self, or a second self, they two being one flesh; and therefore he ought to love her, yea, and to love her with the same sincerity and ardency of affection, kything in the same or like effects, wherewith he loveth his own body, yea both his soul and body, which are himself: for the words, as their own bodies, are both an argument to inforce upon them the duty, and a rule to direct them in the right manner of practising the duty. Doct. 1. As love in husbands toward their wives, after the pattern of Christs love unto His Church, is a most necessary duty; So (considering the many quench-coals of love, which the mutual infirmities both of husbands and wives, do frequently furnish, together with that naturall pronenesse, which is in corrupt man, being advanced and preferred above others, to abuse his authority, to domineer with a kind of tyranny over such as are under him) it will be found a task not so easie, as at the first it would appear, for husbands to keep this affection and love flowing from the right fountain, and manifesting it self in all its necessary effects towards their wives: for, to what purpose else doth he reiterate this exhortation, and inforce it by so strong and convincing arguments? So ought men to love their wives, as their own bodies. 2. That place of honour and superiority, which God hath given the man over the wife, as appointing him to be her head, doth tye him unto answerable duty; so that the greater his honour is, the greater is his burden: and in particular, it bindeth him to love her; and from love to govern, instruct, cherish her, and provide for her, and to all other things by proportion, which the head doth for the body: for, from what he said, ver. 23. that the husband is the head of the wife, he inferreth here, So ought men to love their wives, as their own bodies. 3. Though there be a sinfull love to a mans self, whereby a man preferreth himself, and the fulfilling of his inordinate desires to Gods glory and the good of his neighbour, Philip. 2. 21. which by all means is to be eschewed and mortified, Luke 9. 23. yet, there is an orderly, lawfull, and allowed love to self, whereby a man doth seek his own preservation, both in soul and body, by just and lawfull means, with due subordination to Gods glory, and without any opposition to, or setting himself against his neighbours good: for, Paul supponeth this love ought to be in every man towards himself, and doth urge it, as the reason and rule of the love which the husband oweth to his wife, while he saith, men ought to love their wives, as their own bodies: he that loveth his wife, loveth himself. 4. The love which husbands do carry to their wives, ought not to have its rise from any such extrinsecal considerations, as love to their own peace and ease, fear of shame and disgrace, if, through want of love, secret discontents break out to publick strife, or from any satisfaction which they find to their carnal affections, but from respect to Gods holy Ordinance, whereby their wives are made a piece of themselves; hence their love shall be most native, operative, yea, and insuperable by any provocations or infirmities, when they shall look upon their wives as themselves, and consequently upon their infirmities; shame, hurt, as their own: for, Paul will have their love to flow from this fountain, while he saith, men ought to love their wives as their own bodies, &c. 5. That husbands may carry themselves aright towards their wives, (which holdeth of all superiours with relation to their inferiours) they would seriously consider, not so much what is in the power of their hand, and what they are able to do, or may be for their profit and advantage, or tend to get themselves obeyed, feared and respected to the utmost, as what they ought, and is incumbent for them to do, and what the Law of God, and the state they are in, do require from them as their duty: for, the Apostle repeateth the former exhortation, held forth, ver. 25. with the addition of one word, to wit, ought, whereby he mindeth husbands, that the thing pressed was their duty, and therefore they were to mind it; So ought men to love their wives, saith he.