Heaven Upon Earth, Declaration 2 – Declaration 7
II. Experiences of R. W.
I will declare what the Lord, hath done for me; Firſt in my Youth, my Father being a Godly Man in Dublin in Ireland, brought up his Children very Religiouſly; but for my part, though I were well Educated and Inſtructed, yet I was very Diſobedient, being young and Headſtrong, and refuſing to hearken to my Fathers Advice which he often gave me, but I regarded it not; which was afterward a veay great grief to me, for I could not endure to be curbed, nor kept in, but at length to avoid the continual Reproofs which he juſtly gave me, for my ill courſes and company, I reſolved not to ſtay at home any longer, but to go into Flanders; accordingly I put out to Sea, but by Storms and contrary Winds, was driven back again; yet I could not ſee the Hand of God in this, but ſtill held on my purpoſe, and took the firſt opportunity to get away out of Ireland into England, where my Friends uſed many Arguments to perſwade me to return home again. Whilſt I continued in England, I began to be convinced, by hearing ſeveral good Men, of the heinouſneſs of my ſins, and wicked diſobedience, and was thereupon ſadly afflicted and diſconſolate, ſo that I could have no quiet nor reſt.
In this time my Father hearing where I was, (not knowing before what was become of me, doubting I might be dead or drowned) writ a Letter to me, wherein I was admoniſhed to beware of ſuch as run headlong to Perdition, with many other good advices, he ſeeming like old Jacob, to rejoyce that his Son was yet alive, &c. All theſe things ſtruck me heavily to the Heart, ſo that I lay long under the fearful Sentence of my Iniquities and Diſobedience, and could receive no comfort nor ſatisfaction. I concealed this my inward Grief and Torment, till my Heart was ready to burſt, but at length acquainted my Friends therewith, who endeavoured to comfort me, and I had ſome quiet for a ſhort ſpace; but this laſted not, ſo that I ſoon fell again into my old malady and trouble as before, being ſo exceedingly diſturbed that I could by no means obtain any peace, till that Scripture came into my mind, Iſa. 50.10. He that ſitteth in Darkneſs, and ſeeth no light, ſhould truſt in the Name of the Lord, and ſtay himſelf upon his God, this did much ſupport and incourage me to depend upon God, whereby I had abundance of conſolation. Yet I was ſeldom free from many Temptations, Fears, and Doubts; and ſuch ſometimes as did much diſquiet me, untill once that I had a Divine Dream, which hath been very ſweet to my Soul even ſince; for in my Dream I thought I was told, that God's love was free in Jeſus Chriſt, and beſtowed upon poor ſinners through his Merits, and that he put none by, neither turned any away that came to him in and through his Dear Son, and that I need not fear but I was one of them that ſhould be accepted and received to Mercy. This brought much Joy to my Heart, and the ſenſe of it remains to this very day. Afterward I went to New-England, and had much comfort from them, and from their Miniſters, and ſince my return, I have had great peace of Mind, and deſire to live in Union with Chriſt, and Communion with his Servants, as long as I am upon Earth; and I have grounded hopes of living with him when I dye, and with all his Saints, to enjoy his Bliſsfull preſence to Eternal Ages.
R. W.
III. Experiences of Maj. A. M.
I was well Educated by my Parents, who were accounted Puritans, till about ſixteen years of Age, after which I was put an Apprentice to London, but ill company drew me away; and I took ill courſes, till I was about 24 years Old; then I came into Ireland in the beginning of the Rebellion 1641. and Travelling toward the North, paſſed through great Dangers, and many Deaths, as I may ſay, for there my Father was killed, my Wife wounded, and I my ſelf with much difficulty, eſcaped from the bloody Rebels; after this I was in the Fight at Drogheda, o… Tredah, when it was taken, and being laid in the Field of Battel among the Slain, I was given over for one of the Dead, but it pleaſed God that I recovered, and then went into England; I had not been there long, but I began to look about me, and to have ſome convictions of mind, and thereupon I was diligent to follow the means, and hear the VVord of God Preached by good Men, being ſenſible of my ſins, and former forgetfulneſs of God, or any thing that was good; I heard one Mr. Owen, with whom I was much affected, and convinced of my miſery in the want of Chriſt, and afterwards received great comfort, and aſſured hopes of Salvation from Mr. R. and now I do verily believe, I have Fellowſhip with the Father, and with his Son Jeſus Chriſt, and find a wonderful change in my Soul, abhorring all ill company and courſes, and deſiring to walk in all well pleaſing toward God; and tho' I meet with many Temptations, yet I bleſs the Lord he carries me on in his good ways, ſo that I can now pray to him by the aſſiſtance of his Spirit, and have an earneſt love to his Word and Ordinances; Bleſſed be God for his free grace in Chriſt Jeſus, who before I had any knowledge of him, ſpoke to my Heart by the means of an honeſt Man about thirteen years ago. After which I followed all the means I could meet with, and was wont to hear Mr. Cradock, and Mr. Symſon in London, the firſt of whom in a Sermon upon Iſaiah, Wee is me, I am an unclean Creature, &c. ſpoke ſo home to my condition, that I imagined his Diſcourſe was directed to me particularly; This ſo wrought upon my Conſcience, that I was extreamly afflicted for a time, and gave my ſelf much to Prayer, and at length I became in love with Truth, and true Chriſtians, and have found, and do yet find thoſe things true in me, which were ſpoken by Mr. N. of that oneneſs of Love and unity of the Spirit, which ought to be among all Gods People; I have ſeen my ſad condition by Nature, and am ſenſible of the happy change that the grace of God hath made in me, and now Oh! how do I love the ways of God, and Holineſs, and Duties, and means of Grace, and the things of God which before I ſlighted, diſregarded, and loathed; and laſtly, I now deſire, and long after Jeſus Chriſt, and care not how ſoon I be taken out of this ſinful World, that I may live with him in Eternal Glory.
A. M.
IV. Experiences of F. B.
MY Experiences of the Mercy and Love of God, are more than I can expreſs; the firſt main work upon my Spirit, was on a ſudden, upon an Alarm given to our Troop, while I was a Souldier, which had ſuch a convincing effect upon me, that I lay long under the Apprehenſion of Gods Wrath, and was much diſquieted; ſo that though I Prayed, and Prayed, yet I could take no comfort, and had no confidence in the Mercy of God, but Confuſion was before my Face. Afterward I came to Dublin, where I was impeached for breaking an Article of War, and was condemned to loſe my Life for the ſame; whilſt I was in Priſon, I had dreadful apprehenſions of Hell in my Soul, and could do nothing but weep, and mourn, and pray, counting my Life to be loſt, and yet I was more troubled for the wrath of God, then the wrath of Man; But at length it pleaſed God to give me comfort, for one Night whilſt I was beraoaning my ſelf, and in much Deſpair, on a ſudden the room was all in a flame, and I thought my ſelf in the midſt of Lightning, and being terrified, I imagined I ſaw theſe words written againſt the Wall, Thy ſins are Pardoned, and thy Life is hid with Chriſt in God. This extraordinary Manifeſtation, much eaſed the Trouble and Sorrow wherein I was; but yet for want of Faith, this comfort did not long continue with me; for after that, I thought I ſaw the Lord with ſuch a wrathful countenance, that I durſt not look upon him; and the next news that I heard was, that I was ordered to be ſhot to Death; Oh! then I cannot expreſs the terrors that I was in; my woful miſery was ſuch, that neither Prayers, reading of the Scriptures, nor the pretious promiſes therein, could afford me any Relief, for I could not believe that I had any right to them, and therefore could not lay hold of them. In this dreadfull Diſtreſs I lay, a condemned Man both in Soul and Body, lamenting my wretched condition, when opening the Bible in Joel. 2.13. I ſaw it thus written. Turn ye to the Lord God, for he is Gracious and Merciful, ſlow to Anger, and of great Tenderneſs, and Repenteth him of the Evil. Hereupon I pondered a while, and ſaid, and is he ſuch a God? Well then he is my God; and with that I gave my ſelf up into his Hands, reſolving to relie upon him, let him do what he would with me; and on this Foundation I was Setled and ſatisfied. A while after, it pleaſed the Lord to deliver me out of the danger of Death, and to ſet me at liberty from Priſon; but notwithſtanding this great Mercy, yet I muſt confeſs that I afterward found ſuch oppoſition in my Heart againſt God, as I could not believe had been in me; I was grievouſly wounded for it, and could have no quiet, but went to Mr. W. and acquainted him with it, who told me that I had fallen from my firſt Works, and that I muſt Repent. This rent my Heart, and I had no Reſt; I returned from him and applyed to Prayer, keeping that courſe continually, till by degrees I was recovered out of that diſconſolate condition, and I praiſe God I have ſince found his favour and kindneſs extended toward me, ſo that I am fully perſwaded he loves me, and will pardon my ſins in Jeſus Chriſt, on whoſe Merits I relie, in whoſe Righteouſneſs I reſt, and by whoſe Grace I am now ſet free to ſerve him here, and doubt not but to Reign with him hereafter.
F. B.
V. Experiences of H. M.
MY Father was a Gentleman of a fair Eſtate, had many Children, eleven Sons of us; he was High Sheriff, and when he dyed, all our Family were broken, diſperſed, and in confuſion. Two of us were brought up within five Miles of Gloceſter, but I was placed an Apprentice in London, and by this means my ſorrows and troubles began to be great, at firſt from the conſideration of this ſuddain change, which continued a while, but about the 17th year of my Age, my former grief was turned into another kind of Trouble, namely, Sorrow for my ſins; I was for three years together, wounded with the ſenſe of my ſins and corruptions, which were many, I followed Sermons, perſuing the means, was conſtant in Duties and Doing, looking for Heaven that way. I was very preciſe in outward formalities, cenſuring all for Reprobates that wore their Hair long, and not ſhort above their Ears, or that followed the common Modes and Faſhions of thoſe days. Thus I continued Diſtracted in my Thoughts, and wounded in my Conſcience, weeping often and bitterly, and Praying earneſtly; but yet had no comfort, till I heard that ſweet Saint now, in Heaven Dr. Sibbs, by whoſe Means and Miniſtry, I was brought to Peace and Joy in my Spirit; his ſweet Soul-melting Sermons won my Heart, and Refreſhed me much, for by him I ſaw much of the goodneſs of God, and had good Hope and Confidence in Chriſt Jeſus, and could overlook the World, undervalue all Earthly things, and was not afraid of Afflictions, and though I was ſometimes under the Spirit of Bondage again unto fear, yet my Heart ſtill held firm, and my deſires were all Heaven-ward; I took delight to hear Funeral Sermons, but Dr. Sibbs chiefly, by whom I was effectually wrought upon, and Satiſſied with Comforts, which I hope will never leave me, till I come to Everlaſting Reſt.
H. M.
VI. Experiences of Mr. T. H. Miniſter of the Goſpel.
I was but young when I firſt came under Gonvictions of Soul; and my Heart being warmed by a zealous Miniſtry, which put me much upon Duty, I uſed to read the Scriptures every Night, and to Repeat Sermons often, and ſo I ſpent the firſt Scene of my Youth, till I was ſent by my Friends to London, where I lived a year or two; during that time, as often as I ſaw any Miniſter I could not but weep, and always wiſht that I might be one my ſelf, to be able to Preach too; after this I was ſent to one of the Univerſities in England, but being wild with youthful company, was removed to the Colledge of Dublin, where I continued till the horrid Popiſh Rebellion broke out, in 1641. At which time I left it, and went to Liverpool in Lancaſhire, where I Preached ſome years; yet all this while I was but formal, and as the young Man in the Goſpel ſaid, he had kept all theſe things from his Youth; ſo I was from from my youth Religious, well given, loving the means, and following them, hearing Sermons, and ſeeking to ſerve God. But alas! I was yet all this while in Darkneſs, and did not know it; but afterwards I ſaw that I was blind and carnal: For I began to be in great Doubts and Troubles, and very much clouded in my Spirit, and was exceedingly tyed and bound up for a time, under the Senſe of my formal Holineſs and ſins, but the Lord was pleaſed to give me light. Once as I was walking ſadly alone upon the Mountains, it pleaſed the Lord ſo to influence me by his Spirit, which ſeemed to be immediately poured out upon me, that my Soul was ſatisfied in Jeſus Chriſt, and my Heart was filled with Heavenly Joy and Peace, and with moſt Raviſhing contemplations; which continued without a cloud for ſeveral weeks together, and gave me aſſured Hopes of the Love of God; and ever ſince I have lived in the Righteouſneſs of the Lord Jeſus Chriſt; and though I have met with many ſtorms and clouds, yet they have all paſſed away, and cannot hinder me from Salvation, ſo long as Chriſt who is my Lord and Saviour, is above them; and I doubt not but he will at laſt Tranſlate me from his Kingdom of Grace here, to his Kingdom of Glory hereafter.
VII. Experienres of Capt. J. S.
WHen I was earnal & ignorant, I did very much ſlight the Miniſters of Chriſt, eſpecially your long Preachers, and could not abide that any ſhould make long Sermons; but at laſt I was taken by one Preached out of Hebrews 8.8. Behold the days come ſaith the Lord, that I will make a new Covenant with the Houſe of Iſrael, and with the Houſe of Judah. This New Covenant made in Chriſt, was applyed very home to my Soul, and touched me to the Heart, cauſing me to enquire into my condition; hearing that the danger of being out of this Covenant, was as great as it was of old, to have been out of Noahs Ark; and I began to commune with my own Heart, and to enquire whether I were under this New Covenant or no; but alas I could find no Satisfaction, and lay long under great Affliction and Trouble, ſo that I knew not what to do, being under many Temptations; ſometimes I would hear, and was affected with the Ordinances, and at other times not; and ſo I continued a while, until I was comforted by reading theſe and ſome other ſuitable Promiſes, Hoſea 14.4. I will heal their Backſlidings, and love them freely, for mine Anger is turned away from them, and Heb. 8.12. For I will be Merciful to their Ʋnrighteouſneſs, and their Sins and Iniquities will I remember no more. And Rom. 5.6,8. In due time Chriſt dyed for the Ʋngodly, while we were yet ſinners, &c. But yet I queſtioned whether he dyed for me or no; and it was anſwered, yes for me, for I was one of the number of ſinners, and ungodly that needed Chriſt; but being in fears, I went and told Mr. Bridges how I was, who indeed ſatisfied me very much for the time; Yet after this I fell into much Trouble, and had a Sentence of Death within me, and thought I was Damned, and utterly loſt for all this, ſtill wanting Faith, and reſting and relying upon my own actings and graces, till the Lord brought theſe ſayings of Paul to Corinth cloſe home to my Heart, Covet the beſt things, and I tell you yet a more excelleat way. And I thought there was yet a better way than I had met with, for which I was troubled a great while; But at length I had ſome ſweet Diſcoveries of Jeſus Chriſt, and then I perceived the moſt excellent way, which is nothing but Chriſt, and an intereſt in him; whereupon I grew to be full of courage and peace, loving Chriſt above all, and in all, who is now all in all to my Soul, and I queſtion not but he will be my Portion and Inheritance to all Eternity.
T. H.