Sacred Therapy, Book 2 · Chapter 24
CHAP. XXIV.
Wherein is solved the converts doubt of his own conversion, because he hath found the deceitfulnesse of his own heart, and dare not trust it any more.
SOme sincere converts, who uprightly do serve Christ, and adhere unto him by faith, when they consider the doctrine of the deceitfulnesse of the heart of man, and how many are deceived by trusting to the testimony of their own heart, concerning their regeneration and justification, do begin to call in question all the work of their own conversion, and do fear least they be found in the number of the finer sort of hypocrits, who deceive both themselves and others, having nothing in them but a civil life and form of religion, without the power of godlinesse, and do sleep to death in security: of which sort our Lord Jesus forewarneth, that not only privat persons, but also many preachers shall be found, Mat. 7. 22. of whom we may suppone, that they were not conscious of open and grosse wickednesse, but were of a blamelesse carriage before the world, professing the Christian faith, and teaching others to believe in Christ, and doubted nothing but Christ should judge of them as reall Saints; to whom for all that, Christ shall one day say, depart from me ye workers of iniquity, I never knew you. It is certain that such men have been deceived by their own heart: which when the afflicted doth consider, he standeth astonished and trembleth for fear, saying with himself, what shall I think of my former opinion of my blessd state, I fear my heart hath deceived me, as others of greater gifts and better life, have been deceived by their own heart.
2. This is a doubt which hath need to be solved; but neither this nor any other doubt can be solidly and effectually solved by any mean, except the holy Spirit give a blessing to the means: for, it is certain, that there are many, who being religiously educat and free from grosse vices, do not repent of their sins, are not touched with the sense of their original sin and corrupt lusts, but without taking any burden on their consciences for these, do passe by their time, well pleased with their own estate. Some also there are, who having fallen in grosse and scandalous sins, do find for some time remorse of conscience for these grosse sins, but for their other sins beside those, and for their in-born corruptions, are not carefull, thinking it sufficient if thereafter they do not fall in such grosse faults: The first sort of men, do deceive themselves, thinking they have little to repent of… in regard they are free of grosse out-breakings. This last sort deceive themselves also, because they esteem their natural sorrow for such sins as are grosse and scandalous, to be true repentance, albeit they be not humbled for the fountain of these out-breakings, to wit, their in-born corruption of nature and filthy concupiscence, and the daily out-breakings thereof, to the polluting of their spirits, whereof they do take litle or no notice. Many also there are who deceive themselves, esteeming the outward exercises of religion, and some works (in themselves commendable) to be sufficient fruits and evidences of their faith in Christ and of their regeneration, albeit they have not as yet fled to Christ sincerely, neither ever put a right estimation upon the imputed righteousnesse of Christ. Such men, when they should renounce all confidence in their own works, and in the sense of their sinfulnesse flye unto the covenant of grace offered in Christ, that in him they might have remission of sin, and from him by faith draw strength and ability to bring forth good works, they run a contrary course; for in the confidence of their own strength they go about sundry duties toward men, and exercises of religion toward God, trusting in those works, as if by works they were to be justified. Therefore justly shall Christ say unto them, depart from me ye workers of iniquity, I never knew you. Such were many of the Israelits, who being ignorant of the righteousnesse of God, went about to establish their own righteousnesse. These things when one, weak in faith doth consider, no wonder he be troubled and be afraid lest he deceive himself and perish as others have done.
3. This is a dangerous disease, and so long as it is not cured, it hinders much the tender beginnings of the new creature, that it cannot come up to manly strength, First therefore, let the afflicted wisely examine the course of his by-gone life, lest he either absolve, or condemn himself, rashly; and let him beware lest he esteem the worse of the evidences of a new creature, and the fruits of faith, because these that look to be justified by their works, can produce the like works. Secondly, let the afflicted call to mind whether in the beginning of the re…ormation of his life, the Law as a Pedagoge did lead him unto Christ; and whether since that time, the law did daily put him on, and force him to …lye to Christ, and to embrace Christ and his righteousnesse, and hath made him to study obedience to the law, out of love to God, so much the more carefully, as he perceived himself obliged thankfully to acknowledge grace granted in Christ to him; for if any measure of the daily exercise of repentance, if any measure of love to Christ, and any measure of endeavour of new obedience, be found after examination in the person afflicted, out of doubt the ground is laid solidly of his salvation, out of doubt he hath an evidence of the work of grace by the operation of the holy Spirit in himself.
4. If in this examination the afflicted be not clear, but the doubt doth yet stick, because of the suspicion he hath of the felt deceitfulnesse of his own heart, we offer unto him this counsell, that he quickly humble himself before God, and do ingenuously acknowledge the native perversenesse and deceitfulnesse of his heart; and for that very reason, let him embrace Christ the Redeemer in the armes of faith, offering himself to every condemned sinner; and let him thank God who hath deciphered unto him this deceitfulnesse of his heart, and offered Christ unto him for the true remedy of this and every other sinfull malady. And in the mean time, let him put a difference between himself and an hypocrit, in whom the deceit of the heart is neither acknowledged nor seen, but fostered and defended: for, a close hypocrite, after hearing of the doctrine of the deceitfulnesse of the heart, will stand to the defending of his own sincerity, and will take it hardly if any man labour to convince him of any measure of hypocrisie: but a true convert, or regenerat person, will not deny but much hypocrisie may be found in him; and albeit he be sorrowfull, that this deceitfulnesse of heart hath had lodging in him and lurked too long, yet is he willing and glad to have this evil more and more discovered unto him, and heartily doth he deliver up this traitor to Christ, to be mortified and abolished by his Spirit.
5. But if the afflicted cannot be quiet and satisfied, still fearing and suspecting he be found a man unrenewed, and that for the running issue of this filthy boyl, opened up to him by the sword of the Spirit, let him beware that he passe not permptor sentence against himself, that he do not conclude himself to be a man altogether in the bond of iniquity; but let him suspend for a time, the disputation, and do that which is allowed unto every self-condemned man in the beginning of his conversion, that is, quickly let him flye unto Christ for remission of sin, let him lay hold on that righteousnesse purchased by him; and the more he feareth to find God a severe judge, let him the more firmly lay hold on Jesus Christ the Mediator, who justifieth the ungodly by faith: this is the only solid way to persevere in faith, to overcome Sathan, to solve doubts, to resist temptations, and to cure the wound made by Sathans firy darts; for, unto that man, who in the sense of his sins and ill deserving, and inability to help himself, doth flye unto Christ, it shall never be said by Christ, depart from me, I never knew thee.
6. Now when the person afflicted hath of new laid hold on Christ and guarded the fortresse of faith, and repulsed the tempter, who by all means, and specially by quarreling and questioning the by-past work of grace in him, had laboured to weaken and overturn his faith for by-gones, and for the present also, lest it should convalesce and grow stronger for time to come; now (I say) let the afflicted after victory return to the dispute and to the examination of his state in grace, of his faith in Christ and of his regeneration, and he shall see all the begun saving graces which were darkened by temptations clearly appear, and shall perceive the several steps and degrees of Gods grace toward him in former times, more evidently then he could discern them in the hour of darknesse and temptation. And so he shall return from this battel strongerin faith then he was before, and more perswaded of the work of the holy Spirit in him, then he was before the temptation.