Forty-nine Sermons upon Colossians, Part 3 · Sermon 43
THE FORTY THIRD SERMON ON COLOSSIANS,
CHAP. III. VER. XVIII, XIX.
Verſe XVIII. VVives, be ſubject unto your own Husbands, as is meet in the LORD.
XIX. Husbands, love your VVives, and be not bitter againſt them.
DEAR Brethren; As man is ſubject to a twofold conſideration; firſt, in regard of his nature ſimply, as he is a reaſonable creature; ſecondly, in reference to his condition, or the rank he holds in humane ſociety, that is, as either a Maſter or a Servant, a Magiſtrate or a Subject, or the like; ſo he is obliged according to theſe two different reſpects, to two divers ſorts of duties; thoſe of the firſt ſort are general, and common univerſally to all men; the others of the ſecond do relate, but to ſome certain order of perſons only. I place in the firſt rank piety towards GOD, honeſty, temperance, juſtice, and charity, and ſuch other vertues, for which neither ſex, nor age, nor condition doth diſpenſe with any; becauſe every man, whatever he is otherwayes, being a reaſonable creature, is bound upon that account to practice all thoſe vertues, as a perfection and ornament meet for ſuch a nature. I reckon among the duties of the ſecond ſort, the ſervice that bondmen owe their maſters, the obedience of children to their fathers, the dependance of wives in relation to their husbands, and the like; which pertain as you ſee, only to perſons in ſuch conditions, and not to all men generally. This difference hath produc'd in the Schools of Heathen Sages, the diſtinguiſhing of active Philoſophy into divers parts; the firſt whereof, which they call Moral Philoſophy, or the Ethiques, do's explain that firſt ſort of common, and general duties; the others do treat of the ſecond; to wit, the Economicks, which regulate and form the ſeveral different conditions, that conſtitute a family; namely husband, and wife; parents, and children; maſter, and ſervants; and the Politicks, whoſe task is to expound the devoirs of all the divers orders that compoſe an Eſtate, as the Prince, and the Subject; the Magiſtrate, and the Citizen; men of the long Robe, and of the Sword; and the like.
The Apoſtles of our LORD, in thoſe writings, which they have left us, where they have unfolded to us the Divine Philoſophy of their Maſter, have alſo followed the ſame order; though their difference otherwayes be very great. For they ſet before us in like manner ſome general duties, which oblige all Chriſtians of what quality ſoever, and in whatever degree of ſociety, either civil, or domeſtick, or religious, they be placed. And though this part being once well comprehended, hath in it a great and almoſt ſufficient light to direct and govern all the reſt: yet they forbear not upon it, to deſcend unto the particular duties of each of thoſe eſtates and conditions which the faithful live in, in humane ſociety. Thus the Apoſtle S. Paul hath done in this Epiſtle; for after having formed us all in general unto piety, and ſanctity, and charity, which belong to all Chriſtians equally; as you have heard in the precedent exerciſes; he now addreſſeth himſelf in particular to each of thoſe three orders, of which an houſhold is compoſed; the firſt whereof is the Husband, and the Wife; the ſecond, the Father, and the Children; the third, Maſter, and Servants; giving each of them a good leſſon, for their conduct in the condition to which GOD hath called them. Elſewhere he regulateth the duties of Subjects in reference to the civil Powers under which they live; of the faithful in reference to their Paſtors, and reciprocally of Paſtors in reference to their flocks; not omitting Deacons, the other part of Eccleſiaſtick Miniſtry: and this not in one place alone, but many. In conſideration hereof, before we proceed any further, permit me, I beſeech you, to make here at the entrance one general reflection upon this the Holy Apoſtles way of treating; thus,
Whence comes it, that having been ſo careful to inſtruct and to direct in particular each of thoſe different ranks of perſons, which then were, and ſtill are in the Church, they never drop'd one word of the duties of three kinds of conditions, in which now a dayes Rome makes the main, and in a manner the all of the Chriſtian Commonweal, to conſiſt, I mean the Pope, Sacrificers or Prieſts, and Monks? The Apoſtles do inſtruct the loweſt Maſters, how they ought to treat their attendants; and the ſimpleſt Presbyters, or Biſhops (that is, Paſtors) how they ought to feed their flocks. They never tell the Pope in what manner he ought to deport himſelf, in that great government of all Chriſtendom, which, as is ſaid, hath been given him of GOD. The Apoſtles do advertiſe the moſt abject ſlaves, of the ſervitude they owe their Maſters; and every flock of the diference and reſpect it owes its Paſtors. They never ſpeak a word, either to ſingle believers or their guides, of that infinite ſubjection which they are obliged to profeſs unto the Pope, or of ki…ing his feet, or of ſubmitting the conſcience, or any other ſuch like thing. The Apoſtles do exactly inform Biſhops or Paſtors of the duties of their charge: of preaching, exhorting, inſtructing, of watching, of correcting, of cenſuring, of excluding the ſcandalous from communion. They never order any Sacrificers to offer a propitiatory hoaſt unto GOD, for the ſins of quick and dead; nor tell them of the preparations, ceremonies, and obſervances neceſſary thereto; nor of purifying, by means of an auricular confeſſion, the conſciences of ſuch as are to participate of ſuch a ſacrifice; nor of the precautions and ſubtilties that are neceſſary for the right adminiſtration of it. In fine, the Apoſtles verity vouchſafe to take the pains to enter into Families, and there regulate the demeanour of Husbands and Wives, of Virgins and Widows, of Fathers and Children, of Maſters and Servants. Why ſay they nothing unto Monks? neither to the ſolitary, as Hermits and Anachorets; nor to thoſe that live aſſociated in ſeparated dwellings? Why do they not ſomewhere inſtruct the Guardians, the Abbots, the Superiours and Generals of theſe orders? Why do they not exhort their inferiors to yield them a blind obedience? Why ſay they nothing of their three vows? and of the means of well obſerving them? And why give they no inſtructions to Religious women, who imitating the zeal of men, ſhut themſelves up in Convents? But what ſay I; that they no where regulate the carriage and particular duties of theſe three ſorts of conditions? More than ſo, they make no mention of them at all, neither expreſly, nor implicitly. And if you read the Books of the New Teſtament, you will find that there is no more ſpeech in them, of the Pope and the Sacrificers, and the Monks of Rome, than of the Bramines of India, or the Bonzians of Japan, or the Muphti of the Muſulmen. Whence comes ſo ſtrange a ſilence; ſo univerſal an obliviouſneſs? Is it that the thing was not worthy of the Apoſtles care and quill? But how can that be imagin'd, ſince, if you believe thoſe of Rome, it's upon theſe three orders, that Chriſtianity depends? For as to the Pope, he is the head of the Church, and exerciſeth ſo neceſſary an imperial power, that out of his communion, there is no ſalvation. And as for Prieſts, or Sacrificers, it's they alone that purifie the ſouls of men, both by the abſolution they give thoſe whom they confeſs, and by that Deity which they deliver unto ſuch as they communicate. Laſtly, as for Monks, their order is the ſtate of perfection: They are the Angels of the earth; the glory, and the rampart of the Church; the ſole patterns of Evangelick piety and ſanctity; wherefore they call their fraternities Religions, and diſdaining their old name of Monks, each ſex of them ſtiles themſelves Religious; as if the piety of other Chriſtians did not deſerve to be called Religion, in compariſon of theirs. Whence comes it then, that the Apoſtles have ſo forgotten theſe three ſorts of people, which are as highly or more neceſſary in the Church, than the four elements in the world? Dear Brethren, you plainly ſee the reaſon; and if paſſion did not blind our adverſaries, they might ſee it too as well as we. The Apoſtles have ſaid nothing to theſe three ſorts of people, becauſe there were none ſuch among Chriſtians in their time. Had there been then a Pope and Sacrificers in the Church, the Apoſtles without doubt would have told them their duty, as well as Biſhops and Elders, (that is Paſtors.) And if there had been Monks and Religiouſes, they would undoubtedly have ſpoken unto them, as well as unto men and women that live in wedlock. Since they did it not, be we certainly aſſured, that neither of theſe three plants was ſown, or ſet by JESUS CHRIST, or His Apoſtles; but they have all ſprung up ſince their dayes, partly from the imprudence, partly from the ſuperſtition and corruptneſs of men, who alſo affording them cultivation, have raiſed them by little and little to that prodigious greatneſs, which now for divers ages they have had. And this be ſpoken at the entrance, upon occaſion of the care the Apoſtles in general had, to form and regulate the duties of the divers conditions of perſons, which are found in the Church.
As for S. Paul's particular in this place, he ſpeaks here, firſt, unto Husbands and Wives; next unto Fathers and Children; and laſt of all, unto Maſters and Servants; following therein the natural order of the things themſelves. For if you conſider the dignity of them, the union of Husband and Wife is the moſt excellent, and that upon which the others do depend; or if you regard their riſe; Man was an Husband, before a Father or a Maſter; GOD gave Adam a Wife before He gave him Children or Servants. Now though in this prime union, the Husband poſſeſſeth the firſt place; yet the Apoſtle beginneth at the Wife, and doth the like in the two following orders, inſtructing Children before Fathers; and Servants before Maſters; either for that the ſubjection to which Wives, and Children, and Servants are obliged, is more difficult and diſpleaſing to our nature, than the love and government of Husbands, and Fathers, and Maſters is: or for that the ſubjection of the one is the foundation upon which the others good government doth depend. We will handle at the preſent no more but the leſſon which he gives to Wives and Husbands, contained in the Text that you have heard, reſerving that which concerns Children and Fathers, Servants and Maſters, to another time.
The Wife's leſſon is for words ſhort; but for ſenſe of great weight, and large extent. Wives, (ſaith the Apoſtle to them) be ſubject to your own Husbands; as is meet in the LORD. In which words, firſt, he commands Married women that ſubjection which they owe to their own Husbands; and next ſhews them the manner of that ſubjection; as is meet in the LORD. As for ſubjection, it's an order that GOD hath eſtabliſhed generally in all things, which conſtitute any kind of body, whether it be in nature, or in either Angelical or humane ſociety, that ſome ſhould depend on others. Thus you ſee in plants, the other parts depend upon the root and in animals upon the heart; and they all upon the ſoul that makes them live. Among men there's no eſtate without a ſuperiour that governs, and inferiours that are governed. In the compoſition of the world it ſelf, as it is one total, you know that earthly things depend upon the heavens, it's they that govern all the reſt: neither is there any union, or any body, or natural compacted frame in the whole univerſe, all whoſe parts are entirely equal. GOD, whoſe wiſdome is infinite, hath ſo ordered it, for the benefit of things themſelves; thoſe that are feeble, and imperfect, finding their perfection in the conduct of ſuch as are more perfect; and the more perfect reaping commodity and dignity from the ſubjection of thoſe that are leſs. This induced the Apoſtle to ſay in another place, that GOD is not a GOD of confuſion, or of diſorder, but of peace. Whence followeth, that to reſiſt ſubjection when perſons are called to it, is a thwarting of His will and a perturbing of His order: a mark alſo, not of fortitude and courage, but of folly and malignity to oppoſe it: conform to that which experience taught the Heathen themſelves to obſerve, even that good men are eaſie to be governed; and that thoſe that moſt unwillingly endure a ſuperior, are alwaies ſuch as have leaſt worth. It having therefore pleaſed GOD, according to this general diſpoſition of His wiſdom, that in marriage, man ſhould be the head, it's with good reaſon, that the Apoſtle exhort…th married women to be ſubject.
That word compriſeth all the duty of the condition to which GOD calleth them; and therefore the Holy Spirit uſeth it almoſt alwaies in this matter; as in the Epiſtle to the Epheſians, Eph. 5.22. Tit. 2.5.where theſe ſelf-ſame terms occur; and in the Epiſtle to Titus That (ſaith he) they be diſcreet, chaſte, keepers at home, good, ſubject to their own husbands; 1 Pet. 3.1.and in the firſt Epiſtle of St. Peter; Ye wives (ſaith he) be in ſubjection to your own husbands. I know well the expreſſion doth diſpleaſe our nature, which, in the corruption that ſin hath brought upon it, hateth all, even the moſt lawful ſubjection. And perhaps it is upon this accont, that the Apoſtles have ſo often recommended it to Chriſtian women, that they might inſtruct them to combat this ſentiment of our depraved nature, and ſubmit themſelves unto GOD's order. But certainly, ſetting aſide the word, and the diſorders which our ſin doth ſow in every condition, there is no harſhneſs in this conjugal ſubjection; there's nothing in it, but is ſweet, and beneficial, and advantageous both to the wife her ſelf, and alſo the whole family. For it's an error to think, that all ſubjection is hard, and vexatious. That which the body oweth to the ſoul, and the members to the head; that which the air and earth do render to the heavens, hath nothing of conſtraint, nothing ſhameful in it; on the contrary, 'tis in it, that the glory of the body, and the members, and the elements, does conſiſt. Among the Angels themſelves, whoſe being is full of perfection, and of glory, there wanteth not ſome kind of ſubjection, the inferior Angels having dependance upon their chiefs. And in the terreſtrial Paradiſe, if ſin had not baniſhed us thence, amid the delights and perfections of an happy ſtate, the wiſe would not have been exempt from being ſubject to her husband; an evident ſign, that this ſubjection is not incompatible, either with her felicity, or with her glory; and that all the bitterneſs now found in it, comes not from the thing it ſelf, but from ſin, which hath altered it, as it hath all the other parts of our life, and nature. For in reality, what does this ſubjection ſignifie, but a juſt and rational, a ſweet and amiable dependance of the wife upon the husband, like that of the body upon its head, or upon its ſoul?
Of this ſubjection, the firſt part, which is as the root and ſtock of all the reſt, is a ſenti…ent, and diſpoſition of heart; when the wife acknowledgeth in her ſoul, that the husband GOD hath given her, is her head, and as the wiſe man ſaith, her guide; who, in the due order of their life, ought to have the firſt place; and that ſhe is inferior to him, ſince ſhe is his wife, whatever advantage ſhe hath other-waies above him, be it in wealth, or in nobility, yea, even in prudence, and abilites of ſpirit. If ſhe hath once ſetled this holy and reſpectful perſwaſion in her heart, ſhe will no more find ought of harſhneſs or difficulty in all that ſubjection which ſhe oweth her husband. This ſentiment alone is ſufficient to form her unto it, and bow without any violence all the actions of her life that way. And it's this, in my opinion, Eph. 5.33.that the Apoſtle meaneth, when he ſaith elſe where, that the wiſe ſhould reverence her husband. 1 Pet. 3.6.Such was the ſentiment of Sarah, whom St. Peter propoſeth unto Chriſtian women, for a pattern of their demeanor. She called Abraham her Lord, as that Apoſtle doth expreſ…y note, declaring by ſuch reſpectful language, in what eſteem ſhe had her husband, and that ſhe held him for her ſuperior, for the guide and governour of her life. After this reverence, the wives ſubjection comprehendeth alſo the complacency ſhe ought to have for her husband, faſhioning her ſelf to his mind, and deveſting her own diſpoſition of all ſhe ſees offenſive to him, to put on his affections and manners in every thing, as far as piety and honeſty will permit; bending, and accommodating her inclinations and humours in ſuch manner, unto her husbands, that ſhe may be as a faithful mirrour to him, wherein he may ſee his own image. This, you will ſay, is difficult. Sure it is ſo: But to ſuch as bear their husbands little reſpect, and love; and yet more difficult to thoſe that love them not at all. She that loves her husband ardently; that looks upon him as the head which GOD hath given her; as her weal, and her honour, and her glory; will eaſily diſcharge this duty; yea, take pleaſure in it; it being the nature of true love, to transform ſweetly, and without conſtraint, the perſon loving into the beloved.
In fine, this ſubjection comprehends in ſequel, the cares a wife ought to have of her husband's perſon and family; all which the Scripture compriſeth in two words, when it termeth her, an help, which GOD hath given him, like unto him, that is, another himſelf. That ſhe love him conſtantly; be a conſolation to him in adverſity, and an augmentation of joy in proſperity; and as the Wiſe man hath it Pro. 31.12.do him good all the daies of her life. That ſhe breed his children, the ſweet pledges of their amity and union in all probity; and form them betimes to the giving him contentment. That ſhe keep his houſe, as S. Paul expreſly orders; govern his family, Tit. 2.4.and hold all in it in good order; and in the end make account, that this is the buſineſs, to which GOD calleth her even to employ all her cares, all her labour and vigilance, to the contentment, to the welfare and honour of her husband; and that it is in this, her own glory and felicity doth conſiſt. Such is that conjugal ſubjection, which the wife oweth to her husband.
But the Apoſtle, for the founding and the regulating of it, after his giving it in charge to Chriſtian women, addeth, as is meet in the LORD. I ſay in theſe words, he firſt foundeth that duty of ſubjection, which the wife oweth to her husband. For ſaying, that this is meet in the LORD, he ſheweth us, that the will of GOD is, this be performed; and that it is His order and inſtitution that the wife be ſubject to her husband. This receiveth evidence firſt from that particular which we learn from Moſes, even the LORD's ſaying expreſly to Eve, and in her to all women, Thy deſires ſhall refer unto thy husband, and he ſhall have dominion over thee. Gen. 3.16.The order alſo, which he followed in the creation, manifeſtly proveth that this was His intention. For He created Adam firſt, and then afterwards Eve; an evident ſign that Eve was made for Adam, and not he for her. And it is for the ſame end too, that he formed Eve of one of the ribs of Adam: to ſhew namely, that the woman belongeth to the man; that ſhe is his own, as being made and form'd of matter that was his; and that he hath title to her, and a right over her. S. Paul hath prudently noted it, Adam (ſaith he) was firſt formed, and then Eve. And elſewhere; 1 Tim. 2.…4. 1 Cor. 11.8, 9.The man (ſaith he) is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. For neither was the man created for the woman: but the woman for the man. The nature of both ſexes doth teach us the ſame truth; as well as the order and manner of their creation; For though both the one and the other be for ſubſtance the ſame being, alike rational and capable of immortality, yet it is evident, that the conſtitution of woman is more weak, and leſs active, nor ſo proper for government. It's this S. Peter means when he termeth her a weak or fragil veſſel. And hereto refers, 1 Pet. 3.7. Ariſtot. in his Polit. l. 1. c. 8.what the Maſter of Heathen Philoſophers hath left written; that the woman reaſoneth and con…ulteth, and deliberateth; but more feebly, and leſs reſolutely than the man. Whence he concludes, that her vertue or perfection is to ſerve, and not to rule; that is, to follow rather than to guide; and to obey rather than to command. Which is to be underſtood yet of the generality; and the ordinary, the natural and legitimate conſtitution of the one, and the other ſex: it being otherwiſe very mani…eſt that ſome women are found, not only as much, but a great deal more reaſonable, more vivid and active than ſome men. Upon theſe reaſons all Nations have rightly judged, as the Scripture expreſly teacheth us, that in Marriage the woman ought to be ſubject, no one of thoſe that have receiv'd the inſtitution of Marriage …ing ſound, but that hath ſo regulated it. S. Paul adds yet another reaſon, drawn from the fault which the woman committed, in lending ear to the Serpent, and upon it inducing her husband unto diſobedience. 1 Tim. 2.14.It was not Adam (ſaith he) that was ſeduced: but the woman, having been ſeduced, was in the tranſgreſſion. For ſince they both ſped ſo ill, upon the husband's obeying of the wife; it is very reaſonable, that the wife reſume the firſt order, and without putting of the yoke any more, as ſhe did then, obey, and be ſubject unto him, whom ſhe did ſo unhappily undertake to govern, to the extreme miſery of the one and other of them.
But though all this be true and evident, yet I think the Apoſtle intends here ſomewhat more. For when he ordereth wives to be ſubject to their husbands, as is meet in the LORD, by the term LORD, he underſtands according to the ordinary ſtile of the New Teſtament, not GOD ſimply; but JESUS CHRIST; and repreſents unto them the honour they have of being in the communion of this Soveraign LORD, to put them on unto a faithful diſcharge of this duty. For though it be a thing of a bad grace, and contrary to the Laws of GOD, that the wife ſhould either aſſume ſuperiority over her husband, or however that be, refuſe him this juſt ſubjection; yet there is no State nor Religion in which it is more unſeemly, and leſs permitted than in the diſcipline of CHRIST; firſt, becauſe He hath diſcovered and eſtabliſhed the dignity, and ſanctity, and indiſſoluble union of the married ſtate, which this ſubjection appertains unto, much more clearly and excellently, than ever did any Lawgiver, not Moſes himſelf excepted. Secondly, for as much as He hath far better, and much more perfectly formed than any other, all His diſciples in general, unto peace, and meekneſs, and humility; and women in particular unto that decency, and modeſty, and reſervedneſs, which is proper for their ſex; it is evident, that Chriſtian wives are much more obliged to the ſubjection we ſpeak of, which is a thing depending on thoſe vertues, than any other perſons of their ſex. Moreover the intereſt of their Religion requires this performance at their hands; though law and reaſon had not impos'd ſubjection on them; to the end it might appear by their obedience, that JESUS CHRIST doth not diſturb the juſt order of humane ſocieties; but on the contrary, form both men and women to all kind of righteouſneſs and honeſty, much more exactly and effectually than other Religions do. Laſtly, the Goſpel of JESUS CHRIST having in divers places taken Marriage for a ſymbole of the union, which is between Him, and His Church, he hath by that uſage authorized and confirmed the duties of both the two Married parties, and particularly the ſubjection of the wife, ſince ſhe is the image of the Church, which ought to be ſubject unto CHRIST; a matter which the Apoſtle hath elſewhere excellently made uſe of in this ſubject. Eph. 5, 23.24.The Husband (ſaith he) is the bead of the Wife, even as CHRIST is the head of the Church. Therefore as the Church is ſubject unto CHRIST; ſo let wives be to their own husbands in all things. Thus you ſee with how much truth and wiſdom the Apoſtle here alledgeth unto Chriſtian women that it is meet in the LORD, (that is, in JESUS CHRIST) they ſhould be ſubject to their husbands; it being clear by all we have been ſaying, that all the conſiderations of the diſcipline of this ſame LORD, and of the communion they have with Him, do ſo ſtrictly oblige them to this duty, that if they fail of performance, beſide the fault and the diſorder which they commit againſt the Law and inſtitution of GOD and nature, they alſo particularly offend the LORD JESUS, and outrage the myſteries of His Goſpel, and ſcandalize His people.
But I have ſaid, that the Apoſtle does alſo by theſe words regulate and limit that ſubjection which the wife oweth her Husband. For adding to the reſt that in the LORD, or according to the LORD, he evidently ſheweth that it reacheth no further than to ſuch things as do not offend JESUS CHRIST. She is ſubject to her husband (I acknowledge) but in things wherein ſhe is not rebellious againſt GOD. She ought to pleaſe him; but on condition ſhe diſpleaſe not their common LORD. She owes him her obedience, and her aſſiſtance, and her ſervice in adverſity, and in all the troubles of houſhold affairs; but not in ſin. The will of JESUS CHRIST is the true boundary of her ſubjection and complacency. She ought to put on ſo far; but further ſhe may not paſs, without perriſhing. Whatever tye we have to any creature, it ſtill leaves the rights of GOD entire; becauſe our obligation unto Him is the firſt and moſt ancient, the ſtricteſt and moſt neceſſary of all, that we are under. And if the Husband pretend to oblige his Wife, or the Father his Child, or the Prince his Subject, unto any violation of the commands of GOD, that is, either to do what He forbids, or not to do what He injoyns; Acts 5.29. Luke 14.26. Matt. 10.37.in this caſe the faithful ſoul is to remember, that we ought to obey GOD, rather than men; and that if we love father or mother, husband or wife, children, or brethren or ſiſters, or even our own lives more than CHRIST, we are not worthy of Him, nor can be His diſciples.
But having thus heard the leſſon which the Apoſtle gives the wife, let us now hearken unto that he gives the husband. Husbands, (ſaith he) love your Wives, and be not bitter againſt them. He commands 'em to love them; and forbids 'em to be bitter againſt them: and in theſe few words compriſeth all their duty. This duty is no whit leſs juſt; but indeed more ſweet and pleaſing than that which he preſcribed the wives. And obſerve, I pray the Apoſtles prudence. For when he had allotted the woman ſubjection for her ſhare, conſequence ſeemed to require that he ſhould give the man, command and government for his. But he doth it not. He eſtabliſhed the man's authority ſufficiently, by putting the woman in ſubjection to him; and for the moſt part his ſtrength and the other advantages of his ſex, do cauſe him to aſſume but too much. Wherefore in ſtead of ſaying, Husbands govern your wives, or command them, or of uſing ſome ſuch word, importing authority, he ſaith unto them, Love your wives; to ſweeten on one hand the ſubjection of the wife; and to temper on the other hand the authority of the husband. Wife, let not your ſubjection fright you; the Apoſtle ſubjects you not, but to a perſon who loves you. Husband, let not your authority make you inſolent. If the Apoſtle ſubject your wife unto you, it's only to the end you love her. Derive no vanity, either the one or the other of you from the advantages he gives you. If the love which the husband owes his wife make her haughty; let her remember, that withall ſhe is ſubject unto him that loves her. And if the authority which GOD giveth the husband, flatter him; let him not forget that the wife is not ſubmitted to him, but for the obliging him to love her the more.
Further, this love which the Apoſtle would have husbands bear their wives, is a ſacred and ſincere affection; produced in their hearts, not ſimply by that pleaſing form, and that grace and ſweetneſs which naturally makes men love and ſeek unto this ſex, and which, how perfect and charming ſoever it may be, is at moſt but a flower of a very ſhort and uncertain duration: but principally by the will of GOD, who hath joyned them with 'em; who hath given them to them for companions in their good and bad fortunes; for helps in all the parts of their life, for a perpetuating of their name and lineage; for the diminiſhing of their troubles, and the augmenting of their joyes. This perpetual and indiviſible union which bindeth them together, and which of two perſons hath changed them into one fleſh; which hath mingled together all their intereſts; and in their dear Children, inſeparably combined, and confounded their blood and very nature; all this I ſay, muſt kindle in the foul of husbands, a pure and an inviolable love unto their wives: then again, this love muſt flow forth from the heart into the external actions, diſcovering and evidencing its ſelf, by ſuch continual effects, as may be truly worthy of it. For love is not a dead picture, nor a vain phantaſie, nor an idol without life and action. It's the livelieſt, and moſt active of all our ſentiments. It's a will that affecteth, and ſets all the power one hath on work to procure ſome good to the perſon whom it loveth. The firſt effect of this love is to be pleaſed in the preſence of that which a man loves; and not be able to ſuffer the abſence of it long, without diſquiet. The ſecond, to communicate to it all a man poſſeſſeth, that is good; and the third to guard and preſerve it from all incommodity and moleſtation.
It's thus the Apoſtle would have husbands love their wives, even Firſt, that they live ordinarily with them, as far as the neceſſity of their affairs permits; not finding ſweeter divertiſement, nor more pleaſing company any other where. Then next, that they carefully make them partakers of the graces GOD hath given them: and principally, in all that concerns the ſalvation of their ſouls; which is the greateſt good of all; faithfully directing them about it both by good and holy ſpeech, and alſo by pure and vertuous deportment. It's in this they ought to exerciſe that advantage which nature and the Apoſtle gives them, ſhewing themſelves to be truly the heads and guides of their wives, in the matters of GOD's ſervice, and of holineſs of life; for this end making proviſion of all neceſſary knowledge; that if they at any time conſult them in their doubts, 1 Cor. 14.35.as S. Paul commands, they may be able to inſtruct them; leaſt in defect of it, it might be ſaid of them as a Prophet ſometime ſaid of Idols, Hab. 2.18:that they are teachers of nothing but vanity. But unto theſe cares for the ſoul, the husband ought to add thoſe alſo which reſpect the preſent life, labouring in his vocation, and imparting to his wife a ſhare of all the ſubſtance he poſſeſſeth, or acquireth, proportionably to her need of it, either for her own neceſſary food and raiment, or for the maintaining her children and family, as befits her condition. It's this the Apoſtle means, when he commandeth husbands to love their wives.
But he forbids them in the following words, to be bitter againſt them; that is, to be …roward to them; requiring that all their converſation with them be full of ſweetneſs and amity. The Pagans themſelves have obſerv'd the juſtneſs of this duty, as what we read of one piece of their devotions beareth witneſs. For when they ſacrificed unto that idol of theirs, whom they call'd Nuptial Juno, becauſe they gave her the ſuperintendency of Marriage, they were wont to take the gall out of the victim, and caſt it behind the altar; ſignifying thereby (as ſay the interpreters of their Ceremonies) that there ought to be no gall nor bitterneſs in marriage. The Apoſtles meaning then is, that the husband do firſt purge his heart of all this ſowrneſs and bitterneſs; that he never ſuffer hatred, nor malevolence, nor anger, nor provocation, nor fretting, nor diſguſt to enter there againſt a perſon whom he ought to love as himſelf. Next, he would have the husband clenſe all his words and actions from the ſame poiſon. For if he, who is angry with his neighbour without cauſe, and gives him the leaſt reviling word, doth deſerve torment, as our Saviour declareth; of what hells is not he worthy; who outrageth his own fleſh? Her, whom he ought to cheriſh and tenderly affect, as CHRIST doth His Church? But if the Apoſtle command a Chriſtian to uſe no offenſive or opprobrious ſpeech againſt his wife; he doth as little permit him to ſhew bitterneſs of ſpirit by an angry, ſad, and obſtinate ſilence; which is no leſs provocative, nor leſs ſharp, to ſay truth, than the moſt outragious reproaches. In concluſion, by this clauſe, the Apoſtle does further, and with greater force of reaſon, baniſh out of conjugal converſe the cruelty, and rigour, and tyrannie of thoſe boyſterous, barbarous husbands, who treat their wives as bond-ſervants, denying them that ſhare which the laws of GOD and man do give them, in the government and adminiſtration of the houſhold. And the utmoſt degree of this inhumanity is, when unto revilings and contempt, they add blows, and exceſſes of hand; an outrage, which the authors of the Roman Civil Law thought ſo unworthy of the conjugal alliance, that they permit the wife ſo exceeded againſt, to break with her husband, approving, and authorizing her divorce, if ſhe can prove he ſtruck her.
Thus, Dear Brethren, you have heard what we had to deliver for the expoſition of this Text. It teacheth us all in general, firſt, that all ſorts of people may, and ought to read St. Paul's Epiſtles, and by conſequent, all the holy Scriptures: For why ſhould this holy man addreſs his ſpeech here to wives, and their husbands; to children, and their fathers; to ſervants, and their maſters, if he meant not, that all theſe perſons ſhould have the reading of this letter? Chriſtians, fear not to read what the Apoſtle hath vouchſafed to write you. It's in vain that ſome forbid you the reading, which it is his mind you ſhould practiſe; None can know better than he, how thoſe Epiſtles muſt be uſed which he wrote. Then again he ſhews us further here, how unjuſt the indiſcretion of thoſe is, who have ſo ill treated the worthineſs of marriage, that by their manner of ſpeaking of it, you would ſay, they held it incompatible with Chriſtian purity. St. Paul doth every where maintain the honour of this holy order, and never prohibit, or diſparage it at all. Alſo, as the precepts which he gives to Maſters, to Paſtors, and others, do clearly authorize the right, and the dignity of thoſe conditions; ſo is marriage eſtabliſhed by the leſſon he writes here, and often elſe-where, unto married perſons. But the Devil knowing well, that this holy inſtitution of GOD is infinitely profitable unto men, both to preſerve them from tentations to incontinence, one of the broadeſt waies to Hell, and alſo to ſweeten the harſhneſs of their natures, by the tenderneſs of conjugal and paternal affections, and for divers other ends, of great importance unto civil life, and unto piety it ſelf; the enemie, I ſay, not ignorant hereof, hath ſubtilly made hatred, or contempt of marriage, to inſinuate its ſelf into the ſpirits of a ſort of men, under divers plauſible pretexts; ſo as in concluſion, Chriſtians (who would think it?) have aſſerted it a piece of ſanctification to abſtain from it, and in the ſequel prohibited to the Miniſters of Religion. For our parts, Beloved Br…thren, we conſtrain none to marry. If any have received this grace of GOD, that they can contain, and live pure, out of this eſtate, let them forbear it, if it ſeem them good. Only we ſay two things; firſt, that the making uſe of it is free to all; there being no dignity, nor profeſſion in the Church, excluded from Divine permiſſion of it. Secondly, that to ſuch as have not the gift of continency, marriage is not only permitted, but even neceſſary; and of whatever rank they be, their marrying is ſo far from offending GOD, that they offend Him much, if they marry not.
Hereto, for a concluſion, we adjoyn a ſerious exhortation to all who are in this eſtate, that they ſedulouſly put in practiſe the leſſon which St. Paul hath now given them. Even that wives be ſubject to their husbands, as is meet in the LORD; that Husbands love their wives, and not be bitter againſt them. Many complain of finding thorns in this condition, inſtead of the roſes they hoped for. Men charge it upon the pride, the levity, the vanity, the gorgeouſneſs, the frowardneſs, the obſtinacy, and the tongues of their wives, and …ay many other odious reproaches upon them. Women, on the contrary, impute all this miſchief to the husbands; complaining, ſome of their contempt, and want of love; others, of their niggardlineſs towards them, and profuſeneſs other-waies. Some declaim againſt their idleneſs, and the little care they take of their affairs; others againſt their exceſſes, and compotations. There are ſome that are angry at their ſpeaking, and others at their ſilence: and in fine, they forget not one ill treatment which they have received. I know well, that upon ſtrict examination, ſome fault would be found on each hand, and that if cauſe appear to reprehend wives, there would be no leſs to cenſure huſbands. But I had rather lay aſide all this vexatious proceſs; and do conjure you, Dear Brethren, and Siſters, in the name of GOD, to do the like; ſparing one anothers honour, conſider what you are, and what an union GOD hath call'd you to; and each one for his part acknowledging your defects in the duty it requireth, terminate all your complaints in a reciprocal pardon; and forgetting all that is paſs'd, endeavour to procure to one another in the eſtate you are, that peace and contentment which hitherto you have not had. Do what the Apoſtle bids you, and you ſhall find as much ſweetneſs, as heretofore you have taſted bitterneſs. For as there is nothing more wretched, than a marriage in which the wife hath no reſpect for her husband, and the husband no love for his wife. So neither is there any thing in the world more happy, than a marriage, in which the wife, by an humble and reſpectful ſubmiſſion, and the husband, by a ſincere, and faithful love, have their hearts and wills united in an holy concord. As the firſt of theſe two conditions is an hell, ſo the ſecond is a very Paradiſe.
In fine, My Brethren, ſince JESUS CHRIST is the Spouſe of all faithful ſouls, you ſee what ſervice and ſubmiſſion we are obliged to render Him. May it pleaſe this Divine Spouſe, from that nuptial palace where he dwelleth, to make us ſmell the odour of His myſtical perfumes, and to form our ſouls unto all the obedience, the fidelity, and ſervitude we owe him, and govern us by His Spirit, as He hath purchaſed us with His blood; that after having here beneath ſighed for Him, we may one day eternally enjoy Him, according to His promiſes, and our hopes. Amen.