Forty-nine Sermons upon Colossians, Part 3 · Sermon 44
THE FORTY FOURTH SERMON ON COLOSSIANS,
CHAP. III. VER. XX, XXI.
Verſe XX. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is pleaſing to the LORD.
XXI. Fathers, provoke not your children, leſt they be diſcouraged.
DEAR Brethren; Among all the mutual offices, by which the ſociety of men is conſerved, thoſe incumbent on Children towards their parents, and on parents towards their children, are without doubt of the firſt rate, and moſt neceſſary. It's upon them, that all the reſt do in ſome ſort depend, and they are in humane ſociety what the foundation is in an edifice; the foundation once demoliſhed, all the building goes to ground; ſo the ſubjection of children, and the ſuperiority of parents once remov'd or unfixed, the ruine of all other parts of ſociety does neceſſarily follow. For if a man neglect his children, or miſgovern them, how will he duly and inhumanely treat ſervants, or ſubjects, or any other perſons, whomſoever? Again, if a child ſhake off the yoke of his Father and Mother, how will he bear that of a Maſter, or a Prince? There is no likelyhood that the one or the other, having fail'd in offices ſo ſweet and natural toward perſons that are ſo nearly in conjunction with them, will ever rightly diſcharge any of thoſe other, which they owe to perſons more remote, and with whom they have much leſs union. Whence appears the admirable wiſdom of the Providence of GOD, who for the forming of us unto the devoirs of love, ſubjection, and obedience, which are neceſſary in the Civil, or Eccleſiaſtique ſociety we are to live in, puts us at firſt into the boſom, and under the conduct of our Fathers and Mothers, that there as in a ſweet and a commodious School, we may timely learn the bending of our ſpirits unto love, and reſpect for men; and after this previous apprentiſhip, find the yoke of thoſe ſuperiours, under whom we are to live in Church or State, leſs uneaſie. For one that hath been a good child in the houſe, will without much trouble, be a good ſubject in the State; and likewiſe he that is a good Father will eaſily prove alſo a good Maſter, a good Magiſtrate, a good Paſtor, if GOD call him to either of thoſe charges. Wherefore S. Paul requires, among the other qualifications of a Biſhop or Paſtor, that he rule well his own houſe, having his children inſubjection with all reverence. For (ſaith he) if a man know not how to order his own houſe, 1 Tim 3.4.5.how ſhall he govern the Church of GOD? Theſe reciprocal duties therefore of parents, and of children being of ſo great importance in the whole life of men, it's with good reaſon, that our Apoſtle takes care to regulate them in the Text which we have read; immediately after having in the precedent Verſe, formed thoſe of Husband and Wife. He ſpeaks firſt to children, according to the general order of beginning with the inferiours, which he obſerves in all this part of his inſtitution, for reaſons we pointed at in our laſt action. Children (ſaith he) obey your Fathers and Mothers in all things; for this is pleaſing to the LORD. Then he preſcribes to Fathers alſo, what pertains to them, in theſe words. Fathers, provoke not your children, leſt they be diſcouraged. Theſe are the two heads we will treat of in the preſent action, if GOD ſo pleaſe; Firſt, the duty of children; and Secondly, that of Fathers.
As to the firſt of theſe, we are to conſider the Apoſtle's command, contained in thoſe words, Children, obey your Parents in all things; and then the reaſon of this command, which the Apoſtle annexeth, when he ſaith, For this is pleaſing to the LORD. He directeth the command to children, and uſeth here, in the original, a term, that ſignifyeth any perſon begotten of another, his fruit, his production; a term, that conſequently comprehendeth all children, of which ſoever ſex, that is, both ſons and daughters; and of whatſoever degree, that is, grandſons in regard of their grandfathers, as well as ſons in regard of their fathers; For the word [Children] according to the ſenſe and authority both of Scripture, and of the learned in the laws, doth encloſe the one and the other. Let all thoſe therefore, to whom this title doth belong, make account, that to them is this injunction of the Apoſtles addreſſed. Let not daughters object the weakneſs of their ſex; nor ſons the ſtrength and excellency of theirs, to be diſpenced with for the obedience they owe; ſince the difference of their ſexes doth not hinder, but that they are equally children. Nay, the weakneſs of maids, is ſo far from diminiſhing, that it ſtrengthens their obligation, in that it renders the conduct of thoſe who brought them into the world, ſo much the more neceſſary for them, as they are of themſelves more infirm: and the fitter young mens ſtrength makes them to ſerve their Fathers, and their Mothers, ſo much the more do they owe them obedience. Tell me not, that time, or fortune, as they call it, hath freed you from this ſubjection; whatever years you have attained to, and whatever degree or honour ye poſſeſs, you remain unalterably your Fathers and your Mothers children; ſo that ſince it is unto this name, the Apoſtle affixeth the obligation you have to obey them, it's evident that there is neither age, nor Office, that can, or ſhould give you a diſpenſation for it. The Scripture ſets before us an eminent example of it in Joſeph, who, though of ripe years, and the father of a family, and a great LORD in Egypt, where he was the ſecond perſon in the State; yet all this made him not forget that he was Jacob's ſon; Gen. 46.2….and when he knew him to be come into the Countrey, he went preſently to meet him; his dignity withheld him not from rendring this honour to his Father. He bowed down his purple before him, and notwithſtanding the extreme inequality of their conditions in the world, reſpected him alwaies as his Father.
But let us ſee what that duty is which the Apoſtle here commandeth children to perform. [Obey (ſaith he) your Fathers and your Mothers in all things.] The Law of GOD uſeth the term, honour. Honour thy Father and thy Mother. But all comes to one. For ſure it is, that under this honour which the Legiſlator injoyneth, juſt obedience alſo is compriſed; and in like manner, under the obedience which St. Paul commandeth, is that reſpect, which is one of the principal ſources of it, underſtood and preſuppoſed. Only it may be noted, that perhaps he choſe the word obey, the more effectually to ſhew us, what that honour is which we owe our Fathers and our Mothers; that it is not a vain reſpect which conſiſteth meerly in countenances, and in ceremonies; but a true and real reverence, accompanied with obedience, ſo as to execute readily and chearfully what they order us to do, learn what they teach us, correct what they diſlike, and forbear what they forbid us. And hereby is condemned the hypocriſie of thoſe, who give their parents reſpects and civilities enough, as to words and geſtures; but at the bottom, take no pain to do any thing they deſire of them. Mat. 21.30.Like that mocker in the parable, who having promiſed his Father to go and labour in his Vineyard, yet went not.
But the Apoſtle to anticipate the vain pretexts which impiety does inſpire ill natures with, ordereth children, not ſimply, to obey their parents, but to obey them in all things; extending their authority to an infinity; nor ſhutting up within any bounds that power which GOD and nature have given them to comand the perſons they have brought into the world. Why then? you will ſay, is it true indeed that Fathers and Mothers have ſo vaſt and immenſe an Authority; and that their Children, whom GOD hath created reaſonable, are obliged notwithſtanding this advantage to obey all their commands, how harſh ſoever, and contrary to the light of their judgment they be? Dear Brethren, if you conſider the thing in its ſelf, according to its own nature, and the terms of its firſt inſtitution, it is very true, that the authority of Parents is ſo great, as Children are indeed obliged to obey them generally, and without exception, in all things they command them. Nor doth this diſagree with that advantage of reaſon, wherewith GOD hath honoured children. For if things had continued in their due order, Fathers would command their children nothing that were contrary to right reaſon. Now I confeſs, ſin hath diſturb'd this order, and it oft happens that ſuch as are Fathers do command their children unjuſt things; yet neither can it be deny'd, but that in this caſe they decline from the quality of Fathers, and become Tyrants. For the name of Father involving in it an unfeigned love of the child, a love deſirous of his good, and moſt remote from all that's contrary to his welfare; it is evidently a renouncing of this quality, when a man would oblige him to things that are evil, and incompatible with the duties of a reaſonable creature. It's therefore this abuſe, and this corruption of our nature brought in by ſin, that hath bounded the paternal power which of its ſelf, continuing in its right uſe, would be abſolute; it's this that hath obliged both Divine and Humane Laws to annex unto it certain juſt and reaſonable exceptions; which the Apoſtle in another place; where he treats of the ſame ſubject, hath compriſed all in one word. Eph. 6.1.Children (ſaith he) obey your Parents in the LORD; that is, as far as you may without diſobeying the Soveraign LORD, both theirs and yours: as far as their commands thwart not GOD's orders; and the words he addeth in the Text it ſelf do neceſſarily lead us thereto. Obey them (ſaith he) in all things; for this is pleaſing to the LORD; an addition, that evidently reſtraineth the obedience of children to that which is pleaſing unto GOD; ſo as if the Father happen to command what diſpleaſeth GOD, the child is obliged by all kind of rights to regard more the will of GOD, than the will of man; This maxim remaining firm and immoveable, that whatever we owe to an inferiour and ſubalternate power, the rights of the ſuperiour and ſoveraign muſt ſtill remain entire. For ſince it is GOD, who gave the father himſelf all the authority he hath, it is clear that he hath none againſt GOD; but that as the child ought to obey him, ſo he ought to obey GOD. When he doth it not; but by an unſufferable felony caſts off the yoke of this heavenly Father, to whom both he and we do owe infinitely more obedience, than to all the men on earth, it is juſt to deny him that obedience which he gives not to GOD; it is juſt, that of two contrary commands, the one of GOD, the other of a man, we do prefer the Divine, before that which is humane. As if a Father ſhould command his Son to be an Idolater, or to kill or to hate his Neighbour; or ſhould forbid him to embrace the ſervice of GOD, or to make profeſſion of the Goſpel of His CHRIST▪ in theſe caſes, and other ſuch as theſe, diſobedience would be juſt, and obſequiouſneſs criminal. And hereto properly doth that ſaying of our LORD and Saviour refer; Luke 14.26.If any man come unto me, and hateth not his Father, and his Mother, and Wife, and Children, and Brethren, and Siſters, and even his life it ſelf; (that is, as another Evangeliſt expounds it, Mat. 10.37.if he love theſe more than me) he is not worthy of me; he cannot be my Diſciple.
Saving this juſt and reaſonable exception, children owe their fathers that obedience in all things which the Apoſtle here enjoyns them. And firſt in thoſe which are of themſeves good and holy, and conform to the Divine will; beſide that the Law of GOD obligeth us all to them, the command of a Father doth moreover oblige anew his children; and if they fail in it, beſide the crime, they thereby commit againſt GOD; they commit another againſt paternal authority, which ſhall be charged on them, and puniſhed apart, as a different ſin, and worthy of its particular penalty. Secondly, the child again owes obedience in medial, and indifferent things, that is, things which are morally neither good nor evil, the extent whereof is very great. Though ſuch things be free of their own nature, yet they are ſo no more unto a child after the father's order. His command draws them forth of that indifferency, in which they lay, and renders them neceſſary in reference to him. And here muſt no ſelf-flattery take place. I wiſh, (and it is their duty, as we ſhall hear anon) that Fathers would command nothing, but what is humane and equitable: yet if they forget themſelves, and paſs theſe bounds, how harſh and troubleſome ſoever their commands be, obey'd they muſt be; if they contain in them nothing impious, or contrary to the Divine Law; according to the expreſs order, that S. Peter giveth Servants to be ſubject to their Maſters, not only to the good and gentle, but alſo to the froward. The reaſon for children in reference to their fathers is the ſame in this behalf, with that for ſervants in reference to their Maſters You ſee then, Beloved Brethren, the juſt extent of all thoſe things, in which the Apoſtle, would have children obey their Parents.
Whence appears, how unrighteous, and dangerous, and contrary to the Word of GOD, the Doctrine of thoſe of Rome is, who enfranchiſe all Chriſtian children from this paternal authority and power, daughters at twelve, and ſons at fourteen, giving them liberty at theſe ſo green years of age, to go from their parents houſe, will they, nill they, and retire from under their obedience into the cloyſters of their monaſteries; where they have erected an aſſured ſanctuary, and an inviolable ſafegard for the rebellion of children againſt their fathers, and their mothers. There under the umbrage of a falſe devotion, they entertain children in idleneſs, and foment their impiety, tyrannically giving them a diſpenſation for that obedience, and thoſe juſt ſuccours, which by all the laws of GOD, and men, they owe to the ſacred perſons of thoſe who gave them being in the world The father demands of 'em the aſſiſtances and conſolations which he promiſed himſelf from them. He ſheweth them his gray hairs, and his limbs, trembling through age; he conjures them, by the life he gave them, and by the cares he took to breed them up. He ſummons them to render him the juſt rewards of his pains; and not to deſpiſe the tears, and treaties of a perſon to whom they are obliged for their life. The mother all in mourning preſents them the paps that nurſed them, and ſets before their eyes the tenderneſs of her affection, and all the tyes of nature. And they both together adjourn them before GOD, that they may ſee themſelves condemned at His dreadful tribunal, to pay the honour which they owe them. What ſay our adverſaries hereupon? They ſay, that children ought to look upon their fathers, and their mothers without emotion. That neither their words, nor their weeping, ſhould make any impreſſion upon them. That if they cannot enter into the monaſtery otherwaies, than treading their bodies under foot, they ought to have no horrour at all, at ſo unnatural an action. That it is piety, to be cruel and inſenſible on ſuch an occaſion. They ſay, the monaſtick vow hath broken all the bonds of filial ſubjection; and that the child who hath made it, does no longer owe any thing to father or mother; that he is dead to them, and they have no more power over him; no more, than if he were out of the world.
Oh unrighteous, and cruel, and unnatural doctrine! How could theſe men more plainly contradict the holy Apoſtle? The Apoſtle ſaith, Children, obey your parents in all things; for this is pleaſing to the LORD. And theſe Maſters ſay, Children, obey them not in all things; if they forbid you to be Monks, ſcorn their Order. It they command you to abide with them, be gone againſt their will. For you would do a thing diſpleaſing to the LORD, if you did not diſobey them. Neither let them alledge us here, that they are now grown up. If they ceaſe to be children, by attaining unto twelve or fourteen years, I will acknowledge, that they are no longer ſubject to their parents. But if they muſt confeſs, that no age does deveſt them of this quality, it muſt be acknowledged, that neither does any give them a diſpenſation for obedience; ſince the Apoſtle commands it to all ſuch as are children. They excuſe themſelves upon the account of devotion. This would paſs, if the father called his child unto impiety; or commanded him to deny JESUS CHRIST, or to ſerve idols. But this father, and this mother, who would keep their child at home, are Chriſtians, as well as Monks are; and their houſe makes a part of JESUS CHRIST's, as well as the Cloyſter where he is kept in. The obedience they demand of him, is a duty commanded by the Law of GOD; and very far from being contrary thereto. I urge not at preſent, that the vows by which he is pretended to be bound, are contrary to the word of GOD; as particularly, that of mendicancy; are raſh, as that of never marrying; are injurious to the LORD, as that of the blind and abſolute obedience which they promiſe to a mortal man. Let them go for permitted. Certainly at leaſt, are they not neceſſary; and themſelves, as great admirers of them as they are, do confeſs, (I take it) that one may ſerve GOD, and obtain His kingdom, without the precinct of a monaſtery: and that neither beggery, nor ſingle lite, nor the frock, are things abſolutely neceſſary to ſalvation. There is neither place where one may not ſerve JESUS CHRIST in ſpirit, and in truth; nor habit, but is compatible with piety. Now the child ought to obey his father in all that GOD hath not prohibited. Since then He hath not prohibited the living abroad out of the houſes and habit of Benedict, of Francis, of Loyola, and ſuch other inſtitutors of monaſtick life; every child is neceſſarily obliged not to enter into them, when his father forbids it him. But (you will ſay) what if he hath made a vow to enter? If he hath, he hath done ill againſt the dues of piety, and charity; and ſuch vows, if it be an error to make them, it is blindneſs, and obduration to keep them. The firſt and moſt inviolable of our vows, is that which binds us to the obedience of GOD, and after Him, to the obedience of our Parents. If we have chanced, through imprudence, or other-waies, to tye up our ſelves elſe-where, we muſt ſpeedily break the bond, and make no ſcruple, nor conſcience to break it, but to obſerve it. Beſide evident reaſon for it, and the confeſſion of all wiſe men, who hold that vows made againſt moral duty, do not oblige, the word of GOD expreſly maketh this deciſion. If a woman (ſaith the Law) ſhall vow a vow unto the LORD, Numb, 30.4.6.and bind her ſelf by a bond, in her youth, being in her Father's houſe; if her Father diſallow her in the day he heareth it, not one of all her vows, nor of the bonds wherewith ſhe hath bound her ſoul, ſhall ſtand. Here you ſee, that vows, though in other reſpects good, and lawful, yet oblige not, if made by children of the family, without their fathers allowance. And this is yet more forcibly concluded from the Lawgiver's adding, Num. 30.7 8, 9.that the vows of a married wife, diſallowed by her husband, are null, and void; it being evident, that the authority of a Father over his child, is much greater, and more ſtrict than that of an husband over his wife.
And hither muſt that cenſure be referred, which our LORD and Saviour paſs'd upon the Phariſees; who, under colour of the religion of vows, did alſo annul the honouring of parents by their children, ſo expreſly commanded in the Law. Saith He, Matt 15.4, 5, 6.GOD hath commanded, ſaying, Honour thy Father and thy Mother. And again, He that curſeth his Father or Mother, ſhall dye the death. But ye ſay, whoſoever ſhall ſay to his Father, or his Mother, All that whereof thou mighteſt have profit by me, is a gift, or Corban, though he honour not his Father, or his Mother, ſhall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of GOD of none effect through your tradition. For the right underſtanding of this diſcourſe of our Saviour's, and of that tradition of the Phariſees, he oppoſeth; we are to know, that the Jewiſh Rabbies, as we learn by their own books, did, and ſtill do make a very great account of vows, holding the religion of them abſolutely inviolable. Moreover, they liſted in the rank of vows, not thoſe only which were legitimate, and conceiv'd in ſolemn manner, with terms of a full extent, as when one ſaid, I make a vow unto GOD, not to taſte wine, or ſtrong drink, during the ſpace of forty daies, and the like; but alſo all other words, in what form ſoever conceiv'd, and uttered, whether upon deliberation, or in choler, or otherwiſe, by which one devoted any thing whatever, were it expreſly or covertly: as for inſtance, if a man in a fit of choler, or in the trouble of a quarrel with his neighbour, came to ſay through indignation, Let me dye, if ever I do thee any ſervice; the Rabbines took this for a true vow; and accounted ſuch a man obliged in conſcience, never to do that perſon any ſervice, againſt whom he had uttered ſuch words. Now, becauſe the Corban, that is, the ſacred gifts given to the Temple, were a thing which they eſteemed moſt inviolable, and the offerings there kept, might not be employed to any profane uſe, nor any private perſon put his hand into the treaſury for that end, upon pain of death; hence it comes, that to ſignifie the uſe of a thing, was totally interdicted unto any one, they ſaid, it was to him corban, that is, he was no more permitted to make uſe of it, than of the ſacred gifts, which in their language were called by that name. When therefore it fell out, that a ſon, through diſtaſte, or anger at his Father, once came to ſay, All that of which you might have profit by me, is a gift, or corban; that is, you ſhall never be the better for me, or you ſhall never draw ſervice or profit from me, no more than from the corban; the Phariſees, and other Rabbies, held, that ſuch a man was obliged by this vow of his, to do his Father no ſervice any more; and they judged him innocent, and blameleſs, though he never did him any, how preſſing ſoever the Father's neceſſity might be; alledging, that the religion of a vow was above the natural obligation of children towards their fathers, and their mothers; which was in very deed, to annull the Law of GOD by their tradition, as our Saviour charged them, Judge, if thoſe of Rome do not the ſame thing; diſpenſing with children for the obedience due to Parents, upon pretence of monaſtick vows, in like manner; and if by conſequent we have not all the reaſons in the world, to apply unto them what our LORD ſaid of the Phariſees, even that they make the commandment of GOD of none effect by their tradition.
Let us then lay aſide, ſince the LORD doth ſo injoyn it us, all humane inventions; and ſimply, and faithfully keep to the will of our Soveraign Maſter, as He hath declar'd it to us in His word. As alſo you ſee, that in the Text, it's the only reaſon the Apoſtle doth alledge, to oblige children to this duty. He might have urged the juſtice of the thing it ſelf; it being evident, that we owe reſpect and honour unto thoſe who gave us both life and education, and if not all, at leaſt the greateſt part of whatſoever help and honour we poſſeſs, and underſtand. He might have argued from Nature, which hath engraven this law in the heart of animals themſelves; whom we ſee, eſpecially while they are little, to be ſubject to thoſe that brought them forth. He might have produced the cuſtome of all nations, even the leaſt civilized not excepted, who by their uſage, and ſome of them by their laws, have authorized the veneration of parents, as of ſacred perſons; and have noted (as is indeed very notable) that the Pagan, both Greeks, and Romans, made ſo great an account of this duty, as to give it the ſame name they gave unto the fearing, and worſhipping of GOD, calling not only devout, and religious perſons, but thoſe alſo pious, who were induſtrious to honour and to ſerve their Fathers and Mothers; whence it came, they held, that exceſſes committed againſt Parents, Val. Ma….were to be puniſhed as violations of the honour of the Deity were. The Apoſtle might have produced all theſe things, and divers others. But he doth it not. He alledgeth nothing, but the ſole will of GOD, as the beſt, and the ſtrongeſt, and the moſt conſiderable of all reaſons. Children, obey your Fathers and your Mothers in all things. Why? Becauſe this (ſaith he) is well-pleaſing to the LORD. If you be a Chriſtian, this is ſufficient to perſwade you to render to your Parents that obedience which the Apoſtle commands you. For how can you neglect what is pleaſing to that LORD upon whom depends all your Salvation? who hath been ſo good to you, as to redeem you from eternal perdition, by the death of His only Son; and to give you in Him, His Spirit, and His peace, and the aſſured hope of everlaſting life.
That this dutifulneſs of children towards their Parents, is well-pleaſing unto Him, beſide that, the Apoſtle (whoſe authority is irrefragable) does expreſly aſſert it here, the LORD Himſelf doth evidence divers waies; Firſt, by His commandment, engraven by His own hand at the head of the ſecond table of the Law. Honour thy Father and thy Mother. Secondly, by the promiſe He annexeth thereunto, to prolong your daies upon the earth, if ye be diligent to diſcharge this duty. In the third place, by the puniſhments He threatens unto children diſobeying their Father and Mother, ordaining in the political laws of Iſrael, Deut 21.18. Exod. 21.17. Lev. 20.9.that they ſhould be publickly ſtoned by all the people of the City where they dwelt; and elſe-where, that they ſhould irremiſſibly put to death him, who curſed his Father or his Mother. In another place, He pronounceth by the mouth of ſage Solomon, Prov. 20.20. & 30.17.that the lamp of ſuch a man ſhall be put out into blackeſt darkneſs; and that the ravens of the valley ſhall pluck out, and the young eagles eat the eye of him that mocketh his Father, and deſpiſeth the inſtruction of his Mother. In fine, the LORD's calling Himſelf our Father, and honouring us with the name of His children, that He might oblige us to ſerve Him, doth ſufficiently ſhew of what kind, and how holy and inviolable that obedience is, which we owe to parents. Mal. 1.6.If I be a Father (ſaith He) where is my Honour? Not ſo much as Pagans, but have acknowledged, that the performance of this duty is well-pleaſing to the Deity: witneſs ſome of their Poets confidently promiſing a long and happy life to ſuch as ſhall honour their Fathers and their Mothers; and pay thoſe juſt diligences to their old age, which are due unto it.
But it is time to come to the other head of the Text, wherein the Apoſtle, after his having reduced children to their duty, turns him unto Fathers, and adviſeth them to uſe the power he hath given them, moderately, and in ſuch manner, as their conduct may not tend but to their childrens benefit, and their own contentment. Fathers (ſaith he) provoke not your children, leſt they be diſcouraged. This provocation which he forbids, is an ill effect, which the abuſe of paternal authority produceth in the hearts of children; when fathers exceed in rigour, and treat them too roughly; which comes to paſs a great many waies. Firſt, when they deny them a juſt allowance, and what is neceſſary to accommodate them according to their birth. The Apoſtle hath judged this ſo enormous a ſin, 1 Tim. 5.8.that he ſticks not to ſay, that he that commits it, hath denied the faith, and is worſe than an infidel. Secondly, Fathers provoke their children, when they give them unrighteous, and inhumane commands, 1 Sam. 20.30.as when Saul would needs oblige Jonathan his ſon, to hate, and perſecute David, a very virtuous, and innocent perſon: whereupon enſued, that this generous ſon, moſt unworthy of ſo bad a Father, was vexed, and inflamed with deſpight and anger. If the daughter of Herodias had had any ſparkle of this good nature, ſhe would have been in like manner offended at that cruel and barbarous command her mother made her, Mat. 14.8.to ask of King Herod the head of John the Baptiſt in a Charger. 'Tis alſo the provoking of a child, when he ſhall, without any neceſſity, be compelled unto ſordid, and ſervile actions, and ſuch as are beneath his birth. In this rank too I put thoſe, who without cauſe do beat their childrens ears with contumelious words, whether preſent paſſion does inſpire them, or an ill-favoured cuſtome hath habituated their tongues to ſo venomous a ſtile. For we ſee ſome that cannot ſpeak unto their children, nor reprove them, nor ſo much as call them to 'em, in any other dialect; but diſcharge at every turn an hail-ſhower of maledictions, and opprobrious terms upon them. A kind of carriage, as abject, and odious as may be, extremely unworthy of any honeſt and ingenious man, eſpecially of a Chriſtian, whoſe mouth ought to be a ſource of bleſſing, and have nothing iſſue from it, but what is grave, and holy, and proper to edifie. But neither is there any perſon with whom a wiſe man ſhould leſs deal in that manner, than his child; whom ſuch indiſcretion doth deject, and infinitely diſmay, if he hath ever ſo little ſpirit, and ſenſibility. It was with this black, and piquant ſalt, that Saul did ſeaſon the remonſtrances he made to his Jonathan. Thou ſon (ſaith he to him) of a perverſe, 1 Sam. 20.30.rebellious woman, do I not know, that thou haſt choſen the ſon of Jeſſe to thine own confuſion, and to the confuſion of thy Mothers nakedneſs? Are theſe the words of a Father? and not rather of an Enemy, yea, of a barbarous enemy, that hath neither honour nor civility? As indeed it was choler that ſpake, and not reaſon; And he ſuffered himſelf to be ſo tranſported by the fury of his paſſion, that after ſuch a tempeſt of rude words, he failed not to throw his lightning, caſting a javelin at him (as the Scripture relateth it) to ſmite him. And this is the height of thoſe exceſſes, which the Apoſtle intends here by that provoking, which he forbids; when fathers chaſtiſe their children, either without cauſe, or without meaſure, and beyond what they deſerve. For if juſtice oblige us to keep our minds free, and compoſed in puniſhing the greateſt ſtrangers, and the heynouſeſt malefactors, that we may exactly proportion the penalty to their faults, Denas the LORD expreſly commanded the Judges of His people: how much more ſhould a Father, whoſe name breaths nothing but benignity, and ſweetneſs, obſerve the ſame moderation, when his buſineſs is to chaſten his child? GOD gives us example of it in His treatment of His children, chaſtiſing them in very deed, but as Himſelf ſays, with the rod of men, and with the ſtripes of the children of men, 2 Sam. 7.1….that is, moderately, and with an humane rod, a rod tempered with gentleneſs and benignity.
The Apoſtle, to take off Fathers from this fault, ſhews them the evil that comes of it. Provoke not your children, ſaith he, leſt they be diſcouraged. For there is nothing that doth more deject the heart of a child, eſpecially if ingenious, than this rigour and roughneſs of a Father. Firſt, it ſaddens him, when in the countenance and actions of that perſon, to whom of all men in the world he ſhould in reaſon be deareſt, he ſees nothing but anger, and averſion. This grief doth often caſt him into languiſhings, and mortal maladies, which make Fathers regret, and execrate, though vainly, and too late, their unhappy, and imprudent ſeverity: Then again, this kind of carriage intimidateth children, and depriveth them of all courage for any good and honeſt undertaking; and ſmothereth in them all the fire and vivacity they had. For ſeeing themſelves ſtill put back by their own Fathers, what can they hope for from other hands? Some, which is yet worſe, are by this means hardened, and together with ſenſibility, and nature, do loſe all ſhame, and modeſty, and fall at laſt by little and little into deſperate impiety, no longer making any account of GOD, or men, which is the utmoſt, and horrid'ſt degree of viciouſneſs. Conſider, if the fear of ſo great a miſchief, do not oblige all fathers, who have any remainder, I will not ſay of piety, but even of judgement, and good ſenſe, to take heed, that they provoke not their children.
Brethren, I beſeech you, improve now this inſtruction of the Apoſtles. Children, to whom firſt he addreſſeth his diſcourſe, render ye to your Fathers and Mothers in all things, the obedience he commands you. Remember the life they gave you; the pains they have taken to preſerve it to you; the cares they have had to adorn, and enrich it, both with neceſſary knowledges, and with conveniences requiſite for the happy paſſing of it; the fears, and tears they have been, and at every turn are ſtill in for you; their patience in bearing with the weakneſſes of your infancy, and the extravagancies of your youth; the tenderneſs and conſtancy of the love they bear you, a love ſo great, ſo ardent, that you are the principal object of their deſires; that they preferr your contentment before their own, and toil not but for you, and have you night and day in their hearts; the vows wherewith they follow you every where, craving nothing of GOD more inſtantly, than your advancement and happineſs; and looking on you as the principal ſubject of their hopes, and of their joy. Have not ſo unnatural a ſoul, as not to reſent all theſe ſtrict obobligations which you have to love, and ſerve, and honour them. Pay their love with your reſpects; and their pains with your obedience; and be not ſo wretched as to render them trouble and affliction for ſo many benefits as you have received of them; nor ſo ingrateful, as to fruſtrate the juſt hopes they have conceived of you. Certainly you would owe them this obedience, though no other conſideration did oblige you; than what is founded in themſelves. But there is more than ſo. The Apoſtle aſſures you, that in performing your duty unto men, you will pleaſe GOD, the Father of Spirits, and Ruler of the World. This (ſaith he) is plaeſing unto Him. He will reckon it to you, as a part of the piety you owe Him, and charge Himſelf with the ſervices you ſhall render unto thoſe whom He hath given you for authors of your life. It's the beſt, and the moſt pleaſing devotion you can offer Him. Miſerable Superſtition, that goeſt to ſeek in cloyſters for exerciſes pleaſing unto GOD! There was no need to go out of the Fathers houſe for this. Thou haſt enough at home wherewith to pleaſe the LORD. As for the particular exerciſes, about which Monks are buſied in their cloyſters, we know not whether they pleaſe GOD, who never commanded them. But for the ſervices which our Parents demand of us for their conſolation, and the eaſing of their lives, we cannot doubt but that they are moſt pleaſing to Him, ſince He commands them, and His Apoſtle aſſureth us here expreſly of it. Conſider, I pray, the imprudence of theſe people. They ſay they would pleaſe GOD, and that it's their whole aim to content Him. Mean time to attain thereto, they renounce the obeying of their Parents, which is pleaſing to him, and ſubject themſelves unto the fanſies, and the rugged rules of certain men, of which they neither have, nor can have any aſſurance, that they pleaſe GOD; Is not this to quit a certainty for an uncertainty? and to do the wrong way, what one pretends; and go further off from what one ſeeks, and caſt one's ſelf upon what he would eſchew? But ye, Brethren, better inſtructed by the word of the LORD, ſeek to pleaſe Him, in doing what He orders you, and in employing that time and labour to the ſerving of, and obeying your Parents, which ſuperſtition loſeth in its painful, but vain, and fruitleſs exerciſes. This is the way to be pleaſing unto GOD, and to aſſure unto your ſelves that crown of bleſſedneſſe, which He hath promiſed to ſuch children as faithfully diſcharge this duty.
As for you, Believing Parents, nature it ſelf, and the intereſt of your own happineſs ſo forcibly impelleth you to love your children, and to treat them well, that if the Apoſtle had forborn to give ſuch an expreſs advertiſement againſt provoking them, I think there would not have been much need to ſay any thing of it. We offend much more on the other hand; I mean, in exceſs of affection, and in the ſoftneſſes of indulgence; not heeding, that to treat them ſo laxely, is in truth, to hate, and not to love them; to deſtroy, and not to breed them up. The Apoſtle forbids you to provoke them; but hinders not your correcting, your reproving, your chaſtening them, if they deſerve it. He willeth only, that your conduct be juſt, and temperate; that it keep a mean between the two extremes, the roughneſs of ſeverity, and the remiſneſſe of indulgence. The care you owe them, is to form them unto true Vertue, unto the knowledge, and the fear of GOD, unto charity, and juſtice, and honeſty towards men; to give them examples hereof in your lives, and inculcate the leſſons of them with your lips. Whereas we our ſelves ruine their manners, and form them early to our Vices, almoſt before they know them. Our greateſt care is to keep their courage high, and inſtruct them unto pride, and inure them unto vanity, as if nature had not given them enough of it. And hereto, they that have the means fail not to add Ball, and Dance, and Comedy. And that they may the better learn theſe brave leſſons, Fathers and Mothers give them examples of 'em. We need not wonder, if under ſuch education we ſee our youth to ſpeed ſo ill; if it become inſolent; if it hath little ſentiment of true piety; if it treat thoſe ſo much amiſs, to whom it oweth moſt reſpect. Brethren, if you have children, remember, that beſide the intereſt you have in their vertue, and their vices, you ſhall render an account for them unto GOD, who hath given them to you, to breed them for His glory, and for the edification of His Church; and not to content the world, or to ſerve vanity.
But, Dear Brethren, of whatever ſtate or condition we are, let us further take out two leſſons here, which the Apoſtle gives us. The one is, to render all of us unto GOD an exact, and humble obedience in all things, ſince we have the honour to be His children. It's this that the child owes his Father. We are not His, if we obey Him not. We falſly vaunt our ſelves in that glorious title, if we neglect the duty to which it obligeth us. The other leſſon is, that the Will of GOD ſhould be the only rule of our lives; ſo as we do nothing but what is pleaſing unto Him. This is the ſoveraign reaſon of our duties, not to dare any thing that diſpleaſeth Him, nor neglect any thing that's agreeable to Him. This rule is of very vaſt, and perpetual uſe in all the parts of life. And omitting others for this time, I beſeech you only to apply it to the paſtimes, to the balls, and banquettings, and comedies of the preſent ſeaſon. Each of you conſult your own conſcience hereupon, if it be informed by the word of GOD; and ask it, if theſe exerciſes of the world be verily pleaſing unto GOD; and whether running after them with the multitude, you can aſſure your ſelf you do therein a thing that delighteth him? If it anſwer, that there is no reaſon to believe it, but very much to the contrary; in the name of GOD, my Brethren, follow this reſolution of your own conſcience. Abſtain from theſe works of darkneſs; Spare the Church; Give it no ſcandal; Expoſe not its name, and its profeſſion to the ſcorn of thoſe without, by engaging them in the diſorders of the preſent generation. Let your manners have no leſs purity in them, than your faith; and let there be a difference between the very divertiſements of children of GOD, and of others. Give to the poor what is caſt away uſually in ſuch follies, and you ſhall acquire a firm and ſolid conſolation, which ſhall never be followed with repentance, and regret, but go on ſtill increaſing, untill it be changed into that eternal, and incomprehenſible joy which is kept for us in the Heavens by our LORD JESUS CHRIST, to whom, as to the Father, and the Holy Spirit, the true and only Eternal GOD, be Honour, Praiſe, and Glory, unto ages of ages, Amen.